THESE GUYS! - Johnson & Schmitty's Jersey Numbers

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

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Oh, nose breath guy. Like, good Lord, buddy. You said nose breath are like the snored snifflery that's constantly. Guy with the, guy with the bouncy knees. What are you on a peloton bike? This is 11 o'clock mass. Dude, me and my dad were at 7 o'clock mass. This guy's feet.

TG 74. TG 74. Pretty good. offensive line number, but not better than 77, which is the goat offensive lineman number. Yeah. 74 could be a tackle, but also could weirdly be a guard that you don't trust. Ethan, dude, guard's got to be 60, bro. 62 guard, bro. Nobody, nobody's getting past him. The 68 guard?

Oh, all pro. Hall of fame. This is what, if we ever. coach the football team, we would assign the numbers to our kids and not based on, you know how some coaches would just like to be a dick or whatever. You want 34, so they give you like 43 or whatever. We're like, no, no, no, no, no. Your lineman, we see a left guard. 68. 68. Dude, you're so 68. 68 energy. People just have 68 energy. Yep. Yeah, you're so right about 77. Left tackle, building a franchise around that guy.

he's six, seven. You're just like, oh. Just the double sevens is just, it just looks so good. It looks like slim on him, but also like, oh, that guy could hurt me, you know? Yeah, like, oh, there's something, there's something scary about him. 74 these guys, because sports are our life. Yeah, sorry about last week, everybody. Impromptuil a little trip for me and the fam.

and it just, we're in and out of my in-laws' RV and I didn't trust the Wi-Fi, and we had two kids running around, and it just didn't work out. Yeah, but we're back. We're back. Myrtle Beach got to be the most family vacation of all time. Very family vacation, very family fun,

literally a mini-golf course on every corner. Every street corner, every block, every street corner, mini golf and they're all packed. I don't doubt that for a second. That's the most, I would play put putt put every single day and never get sick of it. You know we need to do it. We need to get you

on like, because they have like fancier put put put places, I'm pretty sure. To where it's like, it really is like miniature golf. I'm pretty sure. To where that could be your golf because I'm never going to get you out to golf. But we do like a fancier

put putt put. now we're in business like golfing with the boys but it's just me and you playing put putt oh yeah we could dress up like the old time golfers you know I'm so down

this takes 25 minutes all right see ya yeah yeah we wouldn't be like I mean it could also be funny to do it like rascal spun zone but I know that there's like special place I'm pretty sure they're making like

top golfs of mini golf. I'm pretty sure it's out there. Oh my God. I'm so there. I'll buy like the membership. You know weird people have memberships to like top golf? Like that's me, dude, for mini golf. Four times a week.

What'd you do last night? Just working on my game, dude. Just got in a quick, just got in a quick 30. You don't call it a quick, you don't call it a quick nine. You just called a quick 30. You know, it takes like 30 minutes.

Hit the back 15 last night. Let's push some tickies real quick. Let's push ticky. Pushing tickeys. All we got. Everybody pushing tickeys. Get you tickies. Buffalo, April 17th, Detroit, April 24th.

Kansas City, May 2nd. Twin Cities, May 7th. Chicago, May 15th. Green Bay, May 16th, official joey-Mollinaro.com. All in my bio, my website. Ben, go. That was clean, dude. Des Moines, March 21st, this Thursday.

He, he a. Hartford, April 18th. Omaha, May 1st. tickets. Omaha! Tickets, Benedictuclitsy.com or in the description below. Pushingtikis.com. We're getting kind of good at that.

Pushin tickeys. Purs got the Kaelan Clark on for old Des Moines. Yeah. Let's go, dude. Hell yeah. This jersey was like $800. I was like, got to do it. Because I pigeon myself into wearing a jersey into every city.

Do it for the bit. Do it for everything's for the bit. everything ever. That's, if they ever make a documentary about me and you one day or like 80, I think it should be called

for the bit. For the bit. Bits. Bits and tits. Bits and tickeys. Bits and ticies and joy, joy, and Benny. Who's not watching?

Who's not watching? Bits and tickies, bro. Bits and tickeys. Bits and tickeys. I had 900 things. It kind of sounds like a breakfast Like a trendy breakfast brunch spot Like a trendy breakfast brunch spot

So like bits and ticies later Not even Not even the full ticies Just bits and tics Bits and tics For brunch Oh my God Bits and tux

Bees and T's for bees and geese Mimosa's up tucks Mamosas up bits of tugs I had a real ass Like a real one Like a real brunch down in Myrtle Beach. Let's talk, bro.

Just tell me all the details. Man, there's this place in Myrtle Beach. It's called the Blueberry Grill. Blueberry's Grill. And it's phenomenal. It has a great outdoor spot. And it's like right at the front of like, it's not an outlet mall,

but it's like a shopping like area where there's a bunch of shops and whatnot. Love it. It's like right at the front. You would love it. But it's so good. Man, the food's so good. And we went there.

on Friday at like 1130. And I got an omelet and a mimosa. Perfect. No bread. No bread. You're eating clean, ready to fuck, ready to go on vacation. I had, uh, I had home fries, like a home potatoes. Cube potatoes.

Tater tots? No, not tater tots. Like the country. I don't know the difference between home fries and tater tots. Yeah, you do. Tater tots are tots. They're like the cylinder, you know. And home fries are more of the squared, like the cubed.

They kind of look like Arby's curly fries if they were in square shape. Okay, okay, okay. I kind of thought those were all tater tots, but I feel you. So good. No, you got tater tots, you got home fries, you got hash browns. There's another one. Hash browns. I always got to make sure I specifically have to ask.

the waiter or waitress. I would say, okay, now you say hash browns here, we'll be talking. Are they like, are they the cued? What division? Yeah, I have to make sure. I'm like, because I want the cubed. Do you have the country cubed? Do you have the

cubed potatoes? The home fries. Yeah. Because sometimes I've got people where they're like, yeah, yeah, no, it's hash browns. I'm like, okay. And then they come out and it's just the stringy potatoes with the brown on top all mixed thing. It's hash brown. Browns. Those are the Waffle House. That's Waffle House. Just looks like a bunch of ocean fungus on your plate and you're like. Yeah. Guess I'm having some coral reef for breakfast. Sounds good to me. Those are, those do kind of hit. Dude, with the ketchup just all over. Oh my God. No, I, I've had my fair share of hash browns. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, you get the pepper on there. You get the hash browns. Maybe even a little bit of the hot sauce from your eggs kind of squeaks over in there. Some of the eggs are getting in there too. And you're like,

Don't mind if I do. Absolutely. Absolutely. Get in there. Have fun. I'm not mad if you accidentally sprinkle yourself in there, eggs. The whole plate is like, it's like a workouting, you know? It's like everybody's kind of separated at first.

But hey, let's mingle a little bit. Yeah. Come on. Let's bomb some shoulders. Let's get some hips twisting. It's the beginning of a middle school dance, you know? You're like, oh, kind of awkward. Then get low comes on and what do you know?

We're having fun. Right. How was my fork accidentally going to, you know, bump a potato into my eggs so we can get this party started? Just like when's the, you know, the crazy kid who drinks a bunch of Mountain Dew? When he's just, when is he going to like go take his shirt off and run in the middle of the girls? Come on. And then we can break the ice. always one of us nudging them.

Put some egg in that's in that, in those hash browns. Come on. I was always kind of that guy though. Like a middle school? You were the stirrup guy? I was breaking ice. I was stirring.

I wasn't stir up till like, like after middle school. Like high school I was starting to stir up. But in middle school I wasn't there yet. I didn't know what to do. That's fair. I went kind of the opposite. I was big stirrup like middle school, late middle school, really high school.

And then I kind of like, I was like, I don't think people like that too much. I'm going to take a step back here, actually. I don't think people like it too much. Dude, a stirrup example real quick. Freshman year, all the hot girls were sitting, we're at the, in the RCA dome state championship, all the girls are sitting in one spot. All the guys want to scrambled eggs with the hash browns mix in. there with the girls.

And they're like, how do we get over there? And I was like, all right, just let me handle this real quick. Good atmosphere. I'm wearing a shirt that says I heart Jason Warner. I'm feeling it. Dude, there's a, there's a row of girls. And I just home plate dive onto all their laps. In the seats?

Yeah, dude. And they're like, oh my God, what the hell? And I was like, I took the bullet. Boys, come on. Look at you. Dr. Stura. You didn't land on any arm, or anything?

Dr. Stirrup. I just kind of took it. I took the blows. I was like, we need this. We need this. I don't care. If I get bruised ribs,

like, it's for the bit. It's worth it. It's worth it. It's worth it. Yeah. Because, you know, they were waiting.

They were waiting. Yeah, they're waiting for the potato to come over to the eggs. Right. Like, it's a, either way,

you're going to have to do it at some point. So let's just do it. That was, that was me in middle school. I was like, what the fuck? Let's just fucking go. Let's go. Come on.

Can we get this rocking and rolling? What do we do? We're wasting our time here. We got like an hour left until, you know, uh, Jordan's mom's going to pick us up. So we got to, we got to get it going.

We're on the clock, honey. Absolutely. So what if I waited to the fourth quarter to do that? It's over. Yeah, literally. First quarter dive. Yeah.

Yeah. Because then there's no, there's no worse regret, you know? Then like, oh, the third, yeah, a major move with 30 minutes left to go in the party. And then all of a sudden, oh, sorry, Ryan's mom's here. Now we got to leave.

I guess I'll talk to you on AIM. God, that happened a lot, though, didn't it? Where you didn't make the move till too late? It would always kill me because, like, I know if I, like, told my dad about it, he'd be like, what's the worst that could happen? And you're like, I should have, that's, I should have done it in the first quarter. It's true. It's true.

That's, that's hard. That's like, you got to learn your lesson at least one time with that. But the after AIM chat, not bad. Not bad. Because it's still heating up. It's heating up in the car on the way to your house. You're like, Hey, dude, sometimes if it's like,

you're weirdly old enough, you know, if it was like eighth grade shit, you'd be like, maybe there's potential we could sneak out. Oh, my God. Are we dropping the sneakout bomb on her? Steakouts.

Test the waters? This sneakout's crazy. They got to live kind of close. They got to live kind of close. Like you're not crossing like a major street, but like there's a stoplight in there at the end. Dude, what about your friend that's all about the sneak out? Oh my God. Like he like, he does it too much.

You bet. Are we, are we sneaking out? He's like, bro. Yeah, dude. You have buddies and then you'd have houses that you're going to where you literally have to up front. Be like, okay, it's not happening. Don't bring it up. they have a security

they have a security system it's not happening you know sneak out house when you when you go in one right this sneak out dude but then some of these motherfuckers these kids like

you would think they'd be like all right got all bases covered like they know it's not an opportunity but then like earlier in the night

they'd be like yeah they opened up the basement window before the parents set the alarm we're good dude that's what I'm looking for when I'm like that age

like in high school I'll go to a house and go in the basement and be like, this is a sneakout house. There's a door down here. Oh. If there's a door in the basement, your parents, the parents are practically inviting you to do it.

Anything goes. Absolutely. Door in the basement, bro. Crazy. I was just thinking, I was thinking about not too long ago, though, how like absolutely screwed Frankie is in terms of that.

Like, we have camera. is at the front and the back on the side. We've got ring. Everybody has ring now. Bro, you're not getting it now. Do you have ring on the back door? Yeah. Yeah, dude.

Ring really messed up the game. Big time cockblock. Ring. It's over. Like, if he wants to make something happen, he's going to have to, like, pull pops aside and be like, hey, this is a situation. Can you help cover for me with mom?

You might just know Like if the ring gets disconnected Frankie You get an alert on your phone Frankie's out Ring Ding disconnected I know your ass

Didn't ever try this But I did Like I was always of the mindset That like Honestly is the best policy Like you're gonna have a better chance To get away with something

If you're just up front With your parents about it than trying to connive around it and then find out. So do you ever do that with your folks? Like sometimes I would straight up, there's a couple times where I was like, one of my friends had a girl like that lived in the same neighborhood that I lived in and I'd be like, hey, like,

I know it's like 11.30, but like they live in the same neighborhood. Do you care if such and such just goes over there? They'll be back in like an hour and a half. Really? Wow, for the boys you did that? What a soldier, dude. Never worked because my mom was always like, absolutely not. They're under our roof. But my dad would be like, I don't know. I mean, I'll hear you out. Your dad listening to the whole game plan then saying no. Kind of game planning with us. Just to get absolutely destroyed by mom.

Yeah. Dude, that's a G, bro. Your dad's such a G for that. Down-ass, homie. But, uh, no, because I'd always get the straight up no. like I'd get the no before I even started talking so I was like I'm gonna have to sneak it there's just what else am I gonna do I can we know yeah all right why I even ask credit to my parents they always at least like heard it out you know that's nice that's nice of them I think partially because they wanted to be like listen to yourself and how stupid you sound so you think that we're gonna say yes to that my mom would be like if you guys go to bed early maybe you can go over there

in the morning at like 10 a.m. If you help me with the groceries and cut the grass and clean the garage before that, I'd be like, God damn it, dude. But you're like, Mom, it's over. 10 a.m.? What? But in her mind, she's like, that's fine.

And I'm like, 10 a.m. What are we going to do at a girls' house at 10 a.m., mom? That's what I'm saying to her, and she's like, better than nothing. Take and leave it. Right, dude. But no way we're going over there.

Bro, I could go over. I was never allowed to go to a girl's house, bro. No chance. No chance. Even in broad daylight, mom, I'm going to be like, what are you doing over there?

What do you think I'm doing, mom? That won't do it one time. I think I told you this. I was at my dad's with a girl and we were just sitting there on the couch watching something. He goes, can you guys play basketball outside or something?

What are you doing sitting around? He goes, go shoot some hoops. This is weird. I was like, all right. Jesus Christ. But even then you're like,

okay, that probably like, This kind of helps to me. Like it was getting a little weird anyways. At least we're outside, like away from dad. I was waiting for the makeout and shit. It was just, it was weird. You know, you're like trying to plan the kiss.

Both of you watching a movie when none of you watching anything. My buddy's calling me every 17 seconds because we're doing a fantasy football draft and I'm not even in it. He's like, yo, all right, we're in round two. You can pick between. I'm like, dude, can you just shut up? I'm trying to like kiss. That was actually happening. I was walking around the dining room.

I was like, pick up John Brown, I guess. I don't know. Larry Fitzgerald. Come on. He's off the board. Fuck.

So many things happening, dude. Dude, I went to, uh, I went to mass over the weekend. Wow. First time in a bit.

On vacation. Vacation mass slaps. No, no, no, no, we came back. Oh. It was my nephew's, is my nephew's baptism. Um, and so we're there. And, you know, it's a baptism. So me and my family, my kids and my wife, we, we're not like, in suits and super fancy,

but like, we're dressed up for church. Church, right? Man, I get there. And the attire that I saw. at this place was absolutely disgusting. What church? I don't know if I should shout it out like that.

Come on. It's a Southside church. Not one that we grew up in, but it's a South Side one. Put it out there, man. They got to let the people know. Bro. I mean,

whole families and hoodies. Slumming. Sweat pants. What time? A baseball church? Jersey? Who was it? Matt Chapman, I think, from the A's. I'm so fried. What do you think for church, honey, Chapman?

Dude, I was, I mean, everywhere I looked, we were in by far the minority of people who looked presentable in church. I was like, I know that I haven't been irregular at mass for a while. I'm still proud of my Catholic faith. Still do what I know. need to do. But like, isn't there a line? What happened? What happened? Sweatpants?

The Saturday night crowd took over. Have some respect. Not like for God, but for yourself. I couldn't even wear jeans. I couldn't even wear jeans grown up. Dude. Right? Cackies only.

If I wore jeans, if I came down the stairs in jeans, my dad would send my ass right. He'd look at me like this. Where do you think you're going? a hoe down? That's what he would say. What you think you're going to the sock hop? Dude,

sweatpants, fucking on cloud shoes and an Adidas hoodie. Like, are you, you're pissing me off. These aren't even Kmart clothes,

bro. These aren't even Walmart, sneak out 1 AM clothes you're wearing. You're wearing these to church? Get a life. Am I? These are shovel,

these are clean your garage clothes. You got on. Exactly. And look, I'm not asking for everybody to wear a suit and tie every Sunday to church. I get it. All right. I get it. Now, the older I get, the more I'm like, I think I kind of want to do that.

Because I feel like a schmuck. If I show up and a pair of blue jeans and a fucking cuts black shirt, like, grow up. Grow up. Tighten it up. You know? But again, like, not every Sunday, but give me some khakis. Give me a polo shirt. Give me a long sleeve with like, you know, a couple buttons on, I mean, something, man.

Looks good, yeah. You can't go wrong with that. A polo with your team on it even would be nice, you know? During football season, khakis and a Colts polo? Fine, fine. CACA Oregon State Beaver right there

Hey Orange one Orange one How hard would that go Dude You're just the guy That wears all the team polos Iowa

State cyclones Oh Hallelujah Oh another dude I'm pissed off already because I'm looking at all of these just hobos and church. Yeah.

But then behind me. Oh, no. There's this guy that's like, apparently it's a fucking contest to see who can respond first after everything that father says. People are so weird. What was the rip it real quick? What was he? You know, father would get up there and, you know, peace to be with.

do. Oh, dude. Yeah, right. And with your spirit part, I would be like, and I raise the hands. And with your spirit. And this guy's already, and with your spirit. I was about to look around. My sister's sitting behind me.

It's their home church. I'm like, he got some planning to do. Home church. Home church advantage, bro. They had home church. I fell out of it. I did. I was like, they're making me go on the silent count here.

I don't know what the hell is going on. Rattled by the crime. Yeah. Holy shit. Just the quick responses on everything. Everything, bro. Every single time. There's a character in every church. Old quick responder.

Old singing loud lady. There's everybody, bro. Old fake singer like my mom. No noise coming out? No, she don't even put it on a show like that at all. For our visual and subscribe on YouTube. these guys. These guys, G's on YouTube.

She has the book. And she. So funny. So funny, bro. And she's looking. The eyes going everywhere. Just, just covering all the bases real quick.

I'm like, she's acting like she's looking at us to keep an eye on us. Nah, she's looking at all the other shit. Fake singer's not bad. She stays under the radar. are loud singer come on you got a wedgy guy wedgy guy i remember the video you did yeah um guy that guy family that's got to sit in the front fake his family ever that was my grandpa

oh really your grandpa is a real one though uh but that you know that family you're like bro come right yeah you're like uh i've seen you at gallaggers dude no i know what's going on They got fake family written all over them. Got the two dogs. The dad that sings like very powerfully, like thinks he's in the choir. Really belts it out. Take a break, Mr. Andrews.

Take a playoff. Don't want to be in front of that guy. Oh, Lord is my shepherd. Okay. All right. Guy that when he kneel, oh, nose breath guy. Like good Lord buddy

You said nose breath Or like the snored sniffler That's constantly Guy with the guy with the bouncy knees What are you on a peloton bike Sir? This is 11 o'clock mass Dude we're at me and my dad were at 7 o'clock mass This guy's feet

That's all you get in here Dude my dad looks at him My dad nudges me looks at him Who goes, hey, he plays defense. He's the foot fires? He's just ready to get in a back pedal, bro. Oh, blah, blah, blah, boh, blah, blah, blah, boh, ba, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, get him out, get him on, get him on, get him up. Yeah.

You do forget, like, when you go back to Mass or, like, a place where he grew up or near it, you see a lot of people and you're like, God, I got to be so strategic on how I walk out of here so I don't so I don't especially you,

bro. Because when people see you in church, you're probably taking a little bit of shine away from father. Not even going to lie. You probably got your own meet and greet after church, bro,

you better dip. That's what was great about baptism is we had to stay for my nephew's baptism so like we were you know, we're fifth quarter dogs. We were staying. Oh, wow. We had the post game show on the ride.

That's crazy. Yeah. Every post game show, welcome to the Colts fifth quarter huddle. Why do I always... Dude, I feel like post game shows last forever. Oh, my God. Like, if the Colts play at one o'clock

and the game's over at four, the post game is on until the next... day at like 3 a.m. I'm like, well, they will be talking about the Colts if I turn on the radio. It's kind of like nice. I'm like, well, they're still talking about them. It's not over yet. The radio's still talking about them. Because

usually these teams are on like a network, you know, so they're syndicated. So they'll have like one hour or two hours of the network post game show. And then McDonald's buys a sponsorship for the local hour. And the hosts just can't wait to tell you about that.

you know. Say hello to all our friends in Sycamore, Seymour, Columbus. We'll talk to you next week. We got the local hour of the McDonald's sixth quarter huddle coming up next. Every out, outro, uh, audio for a post game show. It's a fun bow. That looks like Jerry Rice out there. This is big. Get them up. Get them up. Get them up. Get them up. What the hell's going on out there. The Colts. Fifth quarter huddle. I'll listen to every second

Like my life depended on it I just want to know Who's the fucking wizard Putting that together in the production studio I mean just so good Jerry bro These guys inside baseball Oh man

I cannot wait until we both just host a radio show For the love of God Just the local the most local ass show too just in some weird town. My dream job is to be a play-by-play broadcaster for like a AAA baseball team

and then during the week and during the off season when I'm not traveling with the team to host like a midday two-hour radio show. Why does that sound like the best life of all time? I really don't think I'd be happier. Like if I was doing that, I don't think I could be happy.

One more thing. One more thing that would make you happier. You're the head JV baseball coach at the local high school too. No, football. I want to be on the football staff. Yeah, there you go. That's a real dream coming true. Just to be a DB's coach and to run, absolutely sprint from your truck onto the field when you're 40 minutes late.

From the stretch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. From the stretch line to your little corner of the field. Oh, dude. The DB coach is always so cool. Even if he's not cool, you're like, well, he is the DB coach. So he must be kind of cool. Yeah.

Offense is friends with him. Wants to be friends with him. Yeah. Long sleeve shirt, shorts. Where's cleats to practice? Yeah. Hey, when he's demonstrating a drill. See, look, you got to get low.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Nose over toes. Nose over toes. Hey, maybe, like, you could see him letting you bummage you off of them, you know? Or, like, if, hey, after practice one day, if, like, you're pulling up to the marathon by the school to get some gas

and he happens to be there too, maybe he'll buy you a can. Bro, I might ask Coach Schmidt, for real. Do you think he would? I mean... Definitely. Probably, like if you just kept it, you know, on the down low. Coach Schmidt's cool.

His wife's like hot and shit. That's what you base it off of. His wife's hot, dude. He probably let me bum some dip. He's like the guy who also went to that school and played there and like there's just legendary stories about him. You're like, don't even know. There's no way that could be true.

You know, his junior year, he shotguned 12 beers at 4 o'clock. and then played the game later that night and picked off the quarterback three times. Oh yeah, that quarterback was J. Culler. No way. Yeah, dude, scoop and score fumble on their own six took it back to the house and he was drunk. And he did the prime time high step into the end zone.

Dude, they don't let no way. They don't let us celebrate. Hey, he was suspended for the next three games, but they let him play anyway. Dude They didn't even give them 365 We should do

Okay We should do a video Like we did For Dosecki's The most interesting man in the world That flopped like six years ago Biggest flop in my life This is

This coach that we're talking about He is the football Most interesting man in the world Oh yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Coach Schmiddy. Yeah. Coach Smitty, man. The teachers talk about him. Coach Smitty.

I remember when I taught that guy, man. Hey, he was never late to class because he was that fast. Mr. Boyle never says that about any of the students. He said he was fast, though, Coach Schmiddy. Right. Like the hardest, the hardest stiff teacher ever. And they're like, you hear from like your older brother who went to school. at the same time.

You're like, yeah, Mr. Anderson, man, you did not want to get on his bad side. But Smitty, he didn't even look at Smitty. Smitty could put his feet up on the desk. He could sleep in class. He didn't even say anything to him. Schmitty always slept. Hey, getting his rest for the game on Friday.

They let him have two lunch periods. What number was Schmitty, though, all on the field? like six jersey six cropped jersey spats oh dude just setting the tone playing both ways but was like definitely getting D1 looks as a DB

goofing off big time in warmups oh yeah the team they're playing on the other side doing their like jumping jacks all mills dude Schmidtie was laughing at him schmitty rolls out without his helmet on like bandana you have

that's Smitty bro living to chill living to chill hey the Smitty they ran the sprints but

Schmitty wasn't sprinting those dude Smitty went on his own pace Smitty had to rest his ankle Hey and if you or I did that we're getting our fucking dicks chopped off

Smitty though Smitty just trotting lineman beating Smitty? Coaches look the other way. They laugh at him. Schmiddy. Guy can do whatever he wants, bro.

Hey, Smitty is going to like the Thursday night coaches meetings at Gallagher's. You're like, what the fuck, man? How does Schmitty have such an inn? Hey, did he pay him? Maybe hooking up with the fat coach's wife. Wait, which coach? Which coach's wife?

Definitely like the D-Line or O-line coach. Yeah. Just like a piece of shit, but like his wife is like kind of So you know she doesn't want anything to do with them. So you and your buddies, you and your buddies are like, I mean, why is he always there? That makes sense. I mean, like, he's a stud.

I'll say it. Why wouldn't she want to sleep with him instead of her fat-ass husband? Then it starts to get a little messy and Schmitty. That's his downfall. Yeah. Then he robs a house or something. And you're like, God damn it, Schmidt. You're about to be Mr. Football.

That's when it comes back to 15 years later when he's a DB coach. Everybody's like, hey, Schmitty could have gone pro, dude. We thought we'd be watching Schmitty on Saturdays, but just got to him. They're all gone out to him. Schmittie was the first guy at your high school to wear a visor for sure, dude. Like bad boy. Like, whoa, dog. Like that guy.

All right, all right. Hey, official visit to Miami of Ohio. Like, damn, dude Wow, I didn't know Schmidt He was smart like that That's a good school Yeah, but It's just because Bowling Green offered him

Right, like he only He's that good But like only Max schools And like you indie Want to talk to him Like shouldn't this guy I mean going to fucking USC? I always thought about that

I was like bro That guy is so much better than Max What? Ball State Barrett even offering them? Right. He's tearing up seven on seven like a king, bro.

Preferred walk-on at Toledo? North Texas preferred. I'm like, he could literally start at Oklahoma. He is the best player I've ever seen. Fastest guy ever. Yeah, that always fuck with me too. They know something we don't know. I was like, man.

How good do you have to be? Here's a couple of dudes on the Cinder Grove. Like, this is a real, like, local inside, but, like, I'm sure everybody has teams like this wherever you are in the clubhouse. Like, the Cinder Grove team, your senior year? Insane. Jordan Llewellyn?

Crazy. Like, the best high school player I've ever seen. And he's, like, I think he went to Miami of Ohio and moved to safety. Or, or... No, he went to Sucon. some reds. I think he was Miami-Bio. He went to, I know exactly where he went

because I was obsessed with him. Yeah, like the best QB build ever. I'm like, this is the next Ben Rathusberger. Went to Georgia Tech. I was like, whoa, bro. And then transferred to like Cincinnati or something and played tight end. Quarterback's always going to tight end. Yeah.

Yeah, he ran like a 4-4, like electric. Like 6-4, ran a 4-4, like, Dual threat? Bro. I know, man, I know. We got to take a moment. Yeah, yeah.

Can we get a moment of silence for Jordan Llewellyn? I'm telling him that. That character, that I swear to God, man. Most interesting man in the world. Coach Smitty. What? What the hell? Hey, what song would it be?

Oh, for the intro? Yeah, and like the, well, you know, the most interesting man of the world, it's like that, I don't know. This is tough. I was thinking bad boys for life. That's for like...

Yeah, that's for like a late 90s coach, Schmiddy. This is the 80s coach committee right here. Is he going to play? This is a bold move. God damn it. That's why I trust that's great... Sorry. 1980s coach Schmitty.

Copyright. God, that song, bro. Every football coach loves that song. There's five songs every football coach has to have on their iPod touch. Thunderstruck. Yeah. There's like, that's one of them. Thunderstruck, Panama.

We didn't start the fire. Oh, that's fucking. Okay. That's the one you save when you're pulling up to the stadium in the bus. You see that height? They don't respect you. Do, do, do, do, do, do. There's some deaf leopard in there, too.

Oh, my God. All right. So how long we've been recording? Two and a half hours? 42 minutes. Let's see if there's any clubbies. getting tubbies pushing tickeys

pushing tickeys getting clubbies pushing tickeys what was the what was the mimosa bar or the brunch place blueberry grill no no the one we made up

the one we made up bits and tickies it's got a bits and tucks that's the friend of your girls who like has a weird like a low voice

and then at their at their night of drinking it's like literally lower than Morgan Freeman's. You're like, whoa. Got it's on text. What? She's like,

yeah, I mean, let's go there. She's hot, but like her voice is so low. Let's see. From, uh,

Benjamin says, fellas, thanks for the indie recommendations. Um, oh man, this is long. Holy cow.

All right, we're going to save that one and respond offline, Benjamin. Thanks, dude. Thank you, though, yeah. From Kenny, Danny Woodhead. What's going on, fellas? Love the podcast since the day one. With the NFL season being over and the draft coming up, who is a player coming out of college football you would absolutely love for your team to redraft as a rookie?

Could it be any player from the 90s or early 2000s? I would have to say Reggie Bush. Anyway, slide my ass harder than Mike Alls-Statz, Lyman, and masks coming at you full four. sincerely been Jarvis Green and Ellis any former player coming out of college 90s

early 2000s to draft right now anybody for my Pittsburgh Steelers I have two 90s early Larry Fitzgerald really Larry Fitzgerald

Harold and Patrick Mahomes So do they... Wow, this is insane to think about this. God, who did I just love growing up? That was strictly just based off need and wanting to win right there.

That wasn't who I love to. No flash, no flash, maybe. Just fire. No flash, just fire. Right. That's right. I guess if I had to, I would want...

Who did I just despise? That's the person I always Like Ray Lewis, dude Colts, Ray Lewis, Eddie George, run it. That's some... Dude, maybe actually

Ammon Green instead of Eddie George because he, I swear to God he was... Brett Fav! Brett Favreve, bro. Brett Favread. I take it back. That's pretty good.

Yeah, Ed Reed is on. I can play this game all day. Just picturing Brett Fav and him, jersey, bro. Why is it just Jim Harbaugh? Same guy. Now, those guys that throw mean chewing together.

Those guys, no ball. Copenhagen while breaking down film. Actually, Farf doesn't even watch film. With a laser? Farb doesn't watch film, dude. He just shows up and fucking wings it. Doesn't even know what covert two is, bro. from from Kenny again he just says Larry foot

Larry foot crazy name how about your last name just being foot what's up bro F-O-O-T-E always got to throw me off last names it always sounds like a normal word spelled totally different this is from Daniel subject Wayne Chisholm's headband Is that that one that was like halfway up his head?

I'm pretty sure. It was like, how was that thing even on? Like, it was so high up that you're like, I think he's just going to explode off the back of your head any second. Says, yo, love your podcast and trying to eventually make it out to your stand-up shows. It says, gifts. I agree with the usage of gifts.

If you overuse them, they become annoying and lose their value. That being said, my friend had to get a gift made of him for work for some reason. and he made the mistake of sharing it with our friend group. It's like the binzobrists of gifts because it applies to so many situations so we use it more often than usual and also as a way to roast your buddy. And he sends it in there

and he works for a company called Glass Door so you know it's like one of those like up-and-coming tech companies or whatever. Oh yeah, dude. That's a good one though. And then says bandwagon fans. I'm very passionate about this subject, especially as a Cleveland fan.

For example, after LeBron made his decision in 2010 that led to the Cavs going back to the dark ages, many people stopped being fans until his return in 2014. The same thing happened again after he left to join the Lakers in 2018. All these people weren't just LeBron fans. If you're a true fan, you have to stick through the highs and the lows no matter how brutal they are. Slept my ass, like, skipped to my loose,

slapped Eddie House to in the 2009 NBA playoffs. Oh, man. What a callback. Two sick names. What a callback. Eddie House? high socks, just drilling threes. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's kind of the consensus with people with bandwagon fans.

Do you know, like, I don't know. I've always kind of been of just like who fucking care. Like I do like I just don't, who am I to monitor? I don't fucking care. Why do you care? Like what is the, you know? If you care too much about somebody else's team, it's like, bro, you got a crush on. them or what? Like, just come on.

Gee, you know, so I don't know. I mean, I get the highs and the lows, but at the same time it's like a ring for fucking sports team. Like, it's not, this isn't the Manhattan Project here, guys. Hey, what the hell you didn't like them last year?

Now you like them again? Hey, yeah, it's more fun. So, no, but I know. There's something to be said about like the coming up of like, oh man, I remember it was so rough and like we made it to the top but it's also like that's where and trust me you know me Ben like I'm the most like we when I say our teams and stuff but at the same time I've conditioned

myself to be like the fuck do you do I mean we yeah you went through the I don't know what are you on the team yeah yeah but I don't know I get it I get it um see if there's any more in here TV these guys at gmail dot com oh dude talking about burying the lead can we hear a little bit more about lovers and liars lovers and liars bro April 11th on the CW

um after after I lost on FYL in season 3 they're just like you're on the next one and I was like yeah we fucking talked about that on this show we were like yeah why is they're not like I think we literally said why is it

or not the you and Casey it's like a girl island. You nailed it, yeah. I just had to pretend I wasn't on it. But we, like, so I was, I was filming reality TV for like eight weeks, bro. Yeah, Tom was good on. I'm glad that we were still able to do the show

because that's when when we found out and I was down at Myrtle Beach, me and my in-laws and my wife were all like, huh, I wonder when that'll come out. Then I saw it was April 11th. I was like, holy shit. Like he didn't have to disappear for two months.

No, I did. It was just all back to back. It was F Boy Island and then I had one day to go like home. And then all of lovers and liars like all in a row. Whoa. It was like a big mind like mental like damn. Dang. Okay.

Yeah, it was a lot. So I was just out there forever. but it's good it's i'm hearing a lot of good things about it you guys should watch it'll be funny like i don't know it's there's a lot of behind the scenes dude like when we were filming like uh college football was on and we had like two days off like every week and it was just me and casey there so it was just like bro like i know like i don't know there's a lot going on but it's just like two days off to watch just like Notre Dame bro after like being in reality TV for six weeks.

This is like the best feeling of all time. Give me a six pack of Corona and Sam Hartman on TV, bro. It's just like, not have cameras falling you around. Not a worry in the world. We didn't have our phones. It was just the boys, bro. It was so sick.

That's so crazy. Man, I'm, I'm blown away by this. Like, I mean, you were away for a while in the last one, but I was like, he was away for a while on the first one. So I thought it was just season.

too but I guess it doesn't make sense since you came in like three episodes and or whatever it wasn't as long for that double trubbed back to back man it'll be a good it's there's a lot of good moments and stuff I think trailer I'm excited that you're uh I'm excited that you're the lead yeah lead life is different don't have to watch like all these other storylines that I don't give a fuck about yeah you know so you. April 11th. Is it like a two episode premiere or is it just one or? I don't know. I think it sounds like it's just one. That's all I've heard.

And Nikki's the host too, right? On this one. Nice. Nikki Glazer hosting. She actually, like, I meant to tell you, she, like, followed me and is, like, commented on some of my, like, Seinfeld bits recently. I was like, sick. Yeah. I'm like, all right. Dude, she's the best. She's coming to indie soon.

Fairly soon. Yeah, got to go to that, dude. Yeah, I might have to hit her up and see if we can say what's up. My father-in-law loves her. Yeah, seems dope from, I mean, when you're like that big of a star and like that's famous, I mean. So down to her. It's just insane. The Queen.

For sure. Big time, Swifty, too. Nice. Like her even more. You dig. You dig. Cool. Yeah. I totally, I was like meaning to jump. We'll run with that from the jump. Then you got me going on 74 and 77.

And I kind of just hit me as we wound down here. No problem, dog. I'll be talking all about it anyway. We had to run Coach Schmidt. Coach Smitty is way more interesting than that. We'll get that bit out there and it'll flop, but we'll love it. so cool all right good show team these guys at gmail

com is the email uh these guys pods on YouTube subscribe watch us every week tell a homie subscribe on YouTube watch us

and add us on Apple pods and Spotify fish out fish out and let me know I like to see what you guys think Coach Manny's song would be Like if he had a song that he was rolling up, like we talked about,

we didn't start the fire and bad boys for life and, uh, panama by Van Halen. I want to hear what Clubhouse thinks. What old Schmittie's legendary Schmitty's song would be for most interesting coach in the world. Coach Smitty, bro,

legend, dude. All right. Uh, cool. You got it all. Talk to you. Jake Plummer. Peace. Steve Batwater

Steve Batwater Steve Batwater Jake DeLum Oh that's good Jake DeLone Just unsung hero bro I love Jake Dallone All right bro

Now we can't talk about All right