THESE GUYS! - Kiper’s Best Available

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

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Because there's nothing worse than that dad that's like sitting front row right behind the scores table or like right behind him. TG 67. Oh, Christie 67. Hey now, Hey now, Clubhouse. Hey, be sure to just off the jump.

Let's subscribe. Let's go on YouTube. Let's watch on YouTube. Let's subscribe to the old boy. Boys, let's join the clubhouse. We don't just talk about sports, even though sports are part of our life. We don't just talk about that.

So yeah, subscribe on YouTube. These guys watch us every week. Send us an email. Team these guys at gmail.com. What's up, Benny Boy? Hey, remember show in St. Louis at the end of the month on the 25th at Helium Comedy Club downtown. Yeah, get your tickets in the description.

and I'll see you guys there. That's going to be jumping. That's going to be jumping. Like I said, Clubhouse showed out in September for me at that same venue in Helium. And it was a fucking awesome show. Super fun. That's the show where the McConaughey lady was. Maybe she'll show up at yours.

Oh, yes. Is she Clubhouse? We'll see. I think. I don't know. I can't remember. But yeah, maybe she'll show up there and give you a little. Well, no.

she'll show up if she shows up there and just yells but God, hey. Okay, clubhouse. Clubhouse is there. Big clubhouse. Yeah. Big Clubhouse Football day over the weekend. Huge. Oh, man.

How about your boys? Yeah, man. No mold art man of this week. I know you got excited. I know you got something. Well, I mean, I have a few, but I'm trying to, you know, it's 2024. You know, they snuck in. They're alive. We get one more week at least.

Probably just one more week because you got to go to Buffalo. But hey, got a whole week of excitement. Got a whole week of texting the brother-in-law and the dad and game planning and, you know, getting fired up over the weekend, wake it up on Sunday, ready to go, dude. So that's what's all about.

Would you rather have them lose and get a good draft pick, though? You know, you're in too late at this Like if you were going to do that, then you needed to decide to do that in like October or November. Or when you lost three straight in December that for some reason, their life just wants to look over. And like, then just lose out. Like if you're going to do it, then do it.

You know, but once they beat Cincinnati the day before Christmas Eve and I was like, all right, they're not doing that. We're going to fight till the end like they usually do. We're going to see what happens. And so they're alive. And so I'm happy. T.J. Watts not playing. That's very unfortunate. But again, it's all about just fighting another day, Ben.

It's not about the experience of the game. It's about having it to look forward to. That's all life is. Wow. Deep minute right there. Do you have a football clubhouse weekend? Did you lock in on anything? Bro, CBS Sports Network has just been on my TV on volume 7 for like three weeks.

Wow, sports network. So you're getting random shit like Nevada against San Diego State and basketball. Yeah, like weird games. Weird like pro basketball leagues. I don't even know exists. Just play on my TV every day. And I'm like weird like jobs that we wanted seven years ago to be play by play broadcasters for. I know, man.

And I still kind of am like, how'd I want to do that? Right. Wouldn't it be nice just to have like, I think about that sometimes too. I'm like, man, if I could have like one month a year where I'm like sports broadcast guy.

On the road, bro. Yeah, I host a talk radio show and then when I'm not doing that, I'm doing play by play. Just one month. Just for North Dakota State or something. Please. Those guys that are like,

yo, I had to broadcast. I was like the, the play-by-play guy for like some weird eam and like I don't even know somewhere out in the west coast that you're just like what why does it sound like a dream

my the play by play guy for Wichita State I'm like that sounds so good right now boy it's such a crazy life man it's all awesome that's why I wanted to do it for so long I was like you just wait so you just like go to practice and that's your job like you go sit and watch basketball practice and like take notes and then talk

to the players and coaches and then like I was unbelievable I was like this is crazy you know so much more like you know so much about the team like I don't even get it sometimes I'm like those dudes know everything every detail I was talking I was talking to uh Devante on Wednesday and he has a funny little note it's always a funny little note every time every time I'm in the car out here driving somewhere, it's always sports radio. I don't listen to any music. I don't know why. So I'm like trying to pay attention because I have no idea where I'm like going and I'm not familiar with anything. So I just like, they're on sports radio because it's like comfortable. It's calming for sure. You know, you know how, well, you probably don't, but as a father of once,

soon to be two, like babies, you know, a lot of times you need to put on some like white noise. They have a sound machine, right? They put in their car seat or in their crib that just makes like white noise to like calm them, right? Yeah, yeah. Growing up our adult males, that white noise. Our sound machine is just sports talk radio. I think you could do that to a little baby. You could throw on like some ESPN and they'd be fine.

They don't need white noise. No, but it can't be national. It can't be national radio. It has to be local. Oh, with that weird FM or weird AM. like fog. No, it can be FM, but it just, there's a different, there's a different feel, you know. National radio is so, like, so much of a production, right?

You're like, all right, Mike Greenberg, we get it. But local FM radio sports talk is just, you know. It's, it's different. The 56-year-old guy, it's like, oh, barely you can check us out on YouTube. Click, click, click, click. Yeah, there's like a six-second laws. laws. I'm like, did my car turn off?

When I first started listening to it, when I was like 1920, I would legitimately think, I would like stop and look at the radio. I would be like, is it? Did we just lose it? Dead air. Stephen Holder coming up

at the five o'clock hour. I'll tell you, man. I don't know. I don't know what the Colts going to do. Every guy in the world loves sports radio. It doesn't even matter. It doesn't matter. Yeah, it's comforting.

It's on white noise. You could do theater in high school and not play a sport. Bowen Sport radio comes on. You're like, hey, can you turn this up a little bit? Like, I don't want to hear what he has to say about the divisional round. Just a little bit. Talk to me about how Lamar Jackson proved themselves this year. It is so weird.

Tell me about how old. Del Beckham Jr. is a perfect fit after all. It is just like... Yeah, I do want to hear that, actually. For those who haven't worked in that field, me and Ben have been on the side where we're the producers, so we're on the other side of the board, if you will. We're on the other side of the glass.

And so we're pushing buttons. And so what happens is when you're in this radio studio, like the host, he is what you think he's doing. like he's talking to himself and so they need someone to talk to so they end up just looking dead at you the entire time that it's really weird because it's a one-way street like you're not responding as a producer you just have to kind of like reciprocate their conversation their monologue that they're having with themselves because it makes them feel like you know what I mean they're always like well make sure that you're talking to someone not to a crowd you're talking to

someone in radio so they decided to talk to the producer and you're just like I I I don't just have to sit here and nod and kind of chuckle for three hours. I'd always be juicing them up, dude. I'm the biggest hype man when it comes. You would have been a good producer. I was like, like the worst point ever, I was like, exactly, dude. Talking about God does what. I was just homeover.

It is my favorite, though, just the difference in how you talk on like a sports talk show, whether it be radio or TV as compared to real life. Like how you texted me last night. One, Paul George. Oh my God. You don't ever say that. You don't ever say that shit or say it that way in real life conversation. We were

going to go over to one Tommy Davis's house. You're just like, yeah, we're going to go hit up Tommy's, I think. I think. On sports radio. One Paul George. So weird. The cadence. Sports Radio cadence.

I'm like, is every guy the same? That's low-key why I wanted to do it. I was like, I just want to be a guy that sounds like nobody else. Mm-hmm. But, yeah, that didn't work out. I was like, I don't even like sports that much. What am I doing? You really don't.

That's what was always so fascinating to me. Yeah, I just didn't really believe it until, like, you know, I grew up. I was like, wait a minute, I don't even really like like this too much. I'm just like deep. I mean, as you, as you know, and as a clubhouse knows, like deep down,

I'm Molnard. Like, I'm, you know, I live for my teams. I love watching the games. I love talking shop sports. You know what I mean? But at the same time, you introduced me to like, well, that's pretty dorky, you know? And then that turned me off from it.

I don't, I hate that now. I didn't mean to, but like, yeah. Sometimes I, Sometimes I need it. Sometimes I need to get that out of me. And that's what's great for like, you know, my brother-in-law, like my in-laws on my wife's side or something. Like, I could fully get that out of me.

But, like, at a cocktail party, at a birthday party, I'm not trying to do any of that. I don't want to hear your takes. I don't want to hear your opinions. Yeah. But unfortunately, because of what we do, we get all that for some reason. Like, everybody comes to us with that shit.

Hey, so what are you thinking of, uh, what are you really? Really, Rudolph? What is? I'm like, God. The thing is, is that nobody, nobody wants to, like, it's not a conversation. Everybody wants to bring it up so then they can tell you what they think. Yeah, yeah, their take. Everybody's trying to just have their own sports radio show, every conversation.

They really are, dude. Every guy just wants to be their own sports radio host. Whoa, is that a monster? Yeah, dude. Yo. You just got like a shug You say you should You just buy like a shug

A nine pack Yeah man Me and I Me you know We're fully in it Right now man We are we are in the trenches BP

Like Frank is He's like 17 months old now And I know people will all give me shit And you know everybody wants to be like So he's a year old and I get it. We hate the month thing.

But to a certain extent, like, there's a difference between being, like, 12 months old a year old and 18 months old a year old. Like, we're full on heading towards, like, the terrible two. He's like, this kid just doesn't stop. Like, he wakes up at 6 a.m. 6.30, and from the time that he wakes up until the time that he goes to sleep, he is just, like, running around the house,

getting out every single toy, knocking shit off the coffee tables. He's bad. He's bad. You know, it backfired on us too because we taught him how to say like, how do you ask? You say, please. And so he goes, be, peace. And it's super cute, but it's backfired on us now because he weaponized it against us. Oh, nice word.

Now we hear, now we hear peas 18,000 times a day and for literally everything. It'll just be at the door. Be like, pee, pee, pee, pee. We're like, whoa, what? What is that? Like, he, we, we fucked up because now he thinks that if he just says he, he gets whatever he wants. And so now we're having to walk that back and be like, look, dude, and somehow it works. Like, that's how you politely ask for something.

But just because you say that doesn't mean that you're going to get it. So anyways, he's full on into that. Rise eight and a half months pregnant, like about to pop anytime, like so pregnant. And so we're just exhausted, man. we're fully in it. And so we just stacked up on zero shug monsters. And, you know, we're in the trenches, dude. We're putting on the helmet, grabbing our monsters, and we're going. Cape up the fingers, baby. Absolutely. Big shoulder pads. Big shoulder pads. About to spat up. About to spat up, baby. Nothing better. Nothing better than some white spat.

Dang, right? I love spats. I wish they, I wish they'd come back more. Like, Like anytime a Steelers player has spats on, I'm like, he's going off today. I never notice it, honestly. I never notice it. I never even see it, yeah. Because it, I don't know, in high school maybe I did. Because like one or two players had them. But on like TV when I'm watching a game, I just don't even see it.

And they make you slower, I realize. Yeah. But at the same time, playing NCAA. On PS2, our whole life growing up, when you're creating a player, immediately spats. Immediately just made him look exactly like Kirk Cahill. Oh, that's some inside baseball there, boys. I thought everybody about to say Kirk Herbstree,

because Herbie rocked the spats back in the day. I've never seen it. I don't think I've, I've never seen Herbie's lower body in my life. that was a weird thing for me I remember when I was doing that event Mobile and I was like the opener for Herbie and we like I brought him out on stage and it was the first time that I had seen him in person

not in a suit Oh wow What was he wearing? Oh just like I bet you could guess exactly what this guy was wearing Um Not a suit Herbie hosted a college football panel Does he dress like cool? I can't even think

Eddie George jersey No I'm just kidding Marvin Harrison Jr. jersey in camo pants Damn that would be so hard No he was just wearing like

black Nike joggers With like a gray Quarter zip And like some fresh ass white Nike's Thank my man was My man was like cozy But look cool as shit Cozy cool clean

God Yeah So that's where I was like I already knew that you're my guy, but this just solidifies even more. Came in for the dapp up? Clean dapp. Saw a picture of him the other day, Herbie. I was like, he's 22 again.

You got what's going on? What is going on there? Just gets a blood transfusion or something? Yeah. I don't know either. Props. Hey, what's your thoughts on surprise parties? Like if people were to throw one for me or for like a friend

Both I want to know if you're getting one you show up and people were as well eyes And then also you have one that you're going to I think I like them dude I really do I'm all about the surprise when it comes to like Getting a present for somebody like I won't say shit dude like like I Some people are like, no, tell me right now. I'm like, no, I'm not absolutely not. I like the big Christmas gift, like reveal.

Like, I like doing all that shit. So if it's for somebody else, like, yeah, I won't ruin it. But if it's for me, I'm like, okay, like I like the confidence they have in it. Like, I appreciate them, like wanting to do it. But yeah, I'm with it, dude. I like a good surprise part. It reminds me of that scene on Big Daddy. Like that's the,

that's like what every time someone's a surprise party, I picture that. And I'm like, damn, dude. But doesn't something go wrong in that scene? Yeah. Adam Sandler's character shows up like right before John Stewart's character. And so they have the whole big surprise for Sandler.

And she says, we wasted a good surprise on you. And Sanders goes, all right. Right. And then John Stewart. walks in like unbeknownst and everybody just kind of like oh surprise

yeah it is like you kind of do have to perform a little bit because I've had people throw a surprise I don't you say have you had one for you yeah and a birthday party you kind of have to ham it up a little bit you had a birthday surprise party yeah and you got like

I like love it but I was like you know I was I was gas in it a little bit because like it's it's what it deserves you know like I wasn't just like I don't know I don't it's it's it's weird to like it's like a weird situation and like I was just like no way you know what I mean see I was gonna say I can see you being the one that would just like everybody would do it and then you just turn back and turn right back around and walk out the door oh oh like if I was if I was we're surprising someone else no no no like it's for you

and you walk in, everybody's like, surprise. Oh, yeah, I would. You're like right there and then you turn around. I would, I would, I would. Damn. Yeah, I've never had one. I've never had one for myself. I would love it too.

I'm like, yeah, man, that's awesome. Everybody put in that much time and like the organizing that goes into it. Keeping the secret is like a big deal. How many times you almost slip up, right? Like, my uncle has one coming up on Saturday. He doesn't listen, so it's not a big deal. But he called me, like, last week. How many times you almost slip up and then tell him?

Yeah. Right. He called me last week we were talking. And like, in your head, I'm like, I'll see you next week. But I'm like, wait a second. I'm pretty sure it's a surprise. Kind of always operate under it could be a surprise. So just don't say it.

We don't know. If you can pull one off with all those people, blab in their mouths all week and all month, dude, that's like a special thing. Wait, so he really doesn't know when you're there? Are you sure he doesn't know? No, are you sure?

He never said anything? I don't think so. Everybody's like, I don't know. He might know. There's always one. Hey, how bad of a feeling is it? Like, when it's a surprise party and the timing

of something doesn't work out like somebody's late, you know? And so it's like, they're kind of like trying to like do that little bitch-ass run to like get in there before and they're pulling up and you know that they saw them and it's just kind of like ah fuck or like wait wait wait what's what's what's what's what's Sarah doing here uh wait oh this might be a surprise yeah that's when you got to be an actor when the guy when the guy who's getting surprise is like outsmarts everybody he's too smart like he's like like why do i see fucking sarah's car in the parking garage right and you're like, bro, can you just fucking chill out for like one hour? God damn. And then he starts to put it all together. Right.

And then you got to kind of, oh, yeah. See, that's what always, that's what always worries me about trying to put one together, too, is like, what if you're putting one together for someone who's like a real control freak? Yeah, that's scary. They start freaking out because you have to be like, no, we can't do that yet. We got a, we got to, why don't we go here? And they're like, I don't want to. I just want to go home.

And you're like, that's a. This is all for good. Please. Yeah. Or like, what if we do a surprise party to the person and they get pissed? That's always a risk too. Dude, they can't be that. No one in their right mind is going to be mad though, right?

Never know, man. I could see some people, you know? Yeah. Like, you couldn't do a surprise party with my dad, I don't think. That's what I've been thinking of for the last five minutes. I'm like, yo, that would be. I feel like that would walk out. I said,

I did surprise him one time with an iPad one year for Christmas. Dude, and it was insane because I actually got his ass. And for like two seconds, he was like, oh, fuck, like you could tell.

Like, he was like, oh, damn. So I made up some big story that they were fucking out of iPads or some shit. Nice, nice.

And his iPad like that year got like stolen and he was all down bad about it. got him one dude probably the best moment of my life but he was still like wow really got me on that one and he just like put it away it's still like unboxed on the couch in the living room he made sure

that he that you saw him go and like put it into a kitchen drawer yeah I was like god damn dog like Jesus and then it just ended up being my iPad right the president you buy for him that's the rule with some kids shit yep with presents for your dad

Your dad's totally different, but with my dad, you just get your dad what you want because you end up using it anyway. My dad is the opposite. He's like the one that, you know, you get it for him. You get him and you have some clothes or something. The next time he sees you, he makes sure that he's wearing him. Oh, do you. Dad. Your dad is the shit, bro.

That is so little. God damn. Hey, man. Hey. Oh, yeah. Every time. every time. Like I got them

I got them these homage Steelers joggers and a Steelers shirt for Christmas and literally the last two weeks each of the Stiff's Steelers game he's wore one of them you know show up. Got him?

Looking good? I like yeah. They comfy? Doesn't matter. He's wearing them. We, uh, have you ever had to be like the person though that's like the distractor for a surprise?

Oh, I'd be good at. at that, but no, I don't think so. What do you made? Like, you got to throw the person off? Yeah. Oh, that's a great job. It was really fun, but it was hard, dude. Like, I got tasked with that for one of my friends' 29th birthdays. You'd be really good at that.

You would be fire. It was a ton of fun that we were doing this thing where it was like we were having like a Taco night surprise party at his house. but so his at the time his girlfriend was like hey can you like take come take take him out to lunch and like kill time with them get some drinks or whatever while we get the house set up I'm like yeah absolutely sounds awesome and so it was going great like we were we had lunch we were having drinks his birthday is like the day before Cinco de Mayo and so it's like you know we're having margaritas it's fucking fun so he went like majority of the time he's

He's oblivious. Oblivious, all right? But then we're sitting at a bar at like our third place. And we're starting to feel pretty popped, right? Because we got lunch at like one. It was probably like 3.30 close to four. What's like, what was like the text? Like, hey, you want to get some food?

And he's just like, yeah. Like he has no clue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because his work schedule, like, he don't work on Fridays. And it worked out to where his birthday was on a Friday that year. And so it was like, I was like, hey, bro. like let's do some, we'll do birthday lunch because all of our other friends are working

right during the day. So it's like, you know, take you up to lunch for your birthday. We'll get some margaritas. You know, it'll be awesome. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, dude, sounds great. So we're on like Mass Ave downtown indie. We're on like our third place, right?

And it's like 3.34. And we're sitting at the bar and like we're having a great time, feeling pretty popped. And then, you know, you have your phones out on the bar, right? that's just a natural thing that you have out. Yeah. And all of a sudden, like, his, or no, I was showing him something.

And his girlfriend texted me about, like, updates on the food, whatever. And so I, like, swapped up real quick. Oh, my God. And I, but I knew that he saw her name. I know that he didn't see it probably of the context of it. You can't miss that. But I knew that he saw her name. So now.

in my head, I'm like, okay, this is weird because he's like, why are you texting my girlfriend? I would feel the same, you know what I mean? I would at least be like, that's kind of odd. Oh, no. Here was my cover. Wait, so I let the video or whatever I was showing on Playout. I sat there for, I gave it a beat. And I came back to it and I was like, yeah, she just texted me.

She was, she knew that we were having drinks. And so she was just, she don't want to bother you because it's your birthday. So she was just checking to make sure that like you're not too fucked up or like you're having a good time. Nice. Nice. Yeah. Didn't want to be too overbearing on you, bro. It's your birthday. Right.

So I was trying to like make her look good and also cover my ass. You know he was still like, uh, yeah, I know, I think. Like 20%. But he was drunk. So he's probably like, ah. Hey, as long as she's not texting me, right? Like that would be my response. That would be my response.

Hey, you can have her. A lot, geez. And then, you know, so we left from there, it went. It was great. Big, you know, it all worked out. He seemed genuinely surprised on, like, the videos that a couple people took. So you can always tell on the reaction. Yeah.

Yeah. I think no matter what, uh, yeah, you got to. I think you got to be completely insane to not be surprised, or at least act surprised. Yeah, at least just have fun with it, you know. But anyway, that's a big deal. I had a, yeah, I'm two, I got two in one, one month so far. I had a surprise engagement party,

and I got surprise birthday party coming up. All engagements are surprised, though, right? Right, but like, it wasn't, we weren't there for the proposal. we were there like the next day it was set up of like hey you know he told her that he was just going to they were just getting lunch but

a bunch of all their friends Burpee boy whoa yeah a bunch of us were all at this place and it was a you know surprise get together to celebrate them but hey that's January baby you know you got to do things like that to just

fucking get through yeah what's a one I don't know why, bro. This is so sportsy, but I'm just, I'm ready for the draft now. Right when a season ends, I'm just like, oh, people are already ready, man.

People are putting out the draft order now that it's confirmed and we're getting mock drafts. It's here. Yeah, I saw a couple on my, on my, this shit's just on a loop, dude, and it's so funny. But, yeah, I saw. a mock draft on TV and I was like damn dog like they're not even done they didn't even play this Sunday night game yet typeer's thawing out oh I'm out you got to warm them up a little bit you got to get

them loose you got to get the oil in there for for a little bit of the creaky rust you know you got to shake that off I don't even think he needs to thaw out bro I think he's always on fire bro he's always ready I think you could ask him mid-season week three college football when you're like who are these guys he's got a best available Kiper's best available already dude I love Kiper's

best available when it's like the seventh round I'm like God this guy's a fucking genius bro Kiper's best available he doesn't make a name I know but you're like I can see why I do remember that guy I do remember that guy

like he could have gone first two rounds like two years ago that he kind of fell off, got injured. I see why. That would be funny if Kuiper like starting in the fifth round would just kind of slide in like somebody he went to high school with or something like in there. They won't know. Yeah, somebody paid him off. Hey, we put my son, put my son your best available. That is actually my dream. That's my dream. Fuck everything, dude. Fuck Netflix specials. Being in a movie. I just want to be in Kuyper's best available. Oh, I thought you were about to say that you wanted to be, like, you wanted to do what

Mel Kiper does, then just... Well, that too, kind of. How revolutionary is he for that? It's a whole industry, man. And we love it. God dang, do we love it? The drafts in Detroit this year. It's in Michigan.

It's in the hometown for you. Should we go? Home State. Should we go? Have you ever been to a draft? No. Remember last night or last year the Colts like the Colts themselves wanted us to go out to Kansas City to do shit for them. You remember that?

Wait, why didn't we? Did I have a show or something? You were you were doing your like spring, uh, yeah, you were doing your spring tour. And I was kind of like, I was like, I mean, I'm not. I'm not, yeah. Well, that, but I'm like, I'm such a big Steelers fan that. don't know if it would like, I just,

I don't know if it would connect, you know? But, if they asked us again this year, though. Or better yet, the Steelers ask. We could all get our Mike Rable Steelers jersey. I'm a Steelers boy.

I'm a Steelers boy at heart. Yeah, actually, so the draft is in Detroit and then a little clubhouse league here. I'm going to, I have a show in Detroit the night before the first round. Oh, that is insane.

Not on, not on, not on, not on, not on sale yet. Detroit has a comedy. I can't remember. But I,

it should be midweek or definitely by the end of the week. Uh, so clubhouse, uh, get ready for that, mark that down. And, and yeah,

but low, low, little, little, little, little, there with the drafts three months away. You'll be in Detroit.

It's part of, you'll see. I'll say it's you'll get a kick out of it. But it's part of the whole like, not bit of it, but like the different locations and places I'm going. I was kind of apply. I was like, hey, Detroit, the draft's in Detroit. So it would be cool if we could kind of get something

around there. And we ended up doing that. So that's great when it all works out. Yeah. Yeah, but so see you there. Yeah. Please. Please, God.

Didn't we have like a Hyper's best available like sketch or something? For some reason I remember. Our, our Pat McGuffey Barstool. Oh, that, yeah. video submissions we did that we did the intern draft and we had our best available

dude what what was the show we did what was the show we did with the we had like the different brands because we had different names of best available I remember like Jake Rose was on mine Joe King was on yours of course

but we had I remember there was like Skittles and Kid Cat and shit I can't remember maybe that was just like what it was sponsored by I can't remember either that was that was that was insane I think I'm still on your YouTube channel

yeah it has so many views I'm like you guys are weird for watching that I'm gonna pull it up bro it has like a dumb amount of views not like that that many but like more than other videos that I like really tried hard on just just us trying so hard on everything just getting no play

you ever you ever like go through your subscriptions and you're like god damn why can I find oh this should pop up and you forget that like the team that you subscribe to post 18 times a day

on YouTube yeah I'm like barely on YouTube I'd say you're more than barely you got quite a bit of subscribers yeah that just happened recently, but I don't really

man, good for you for cracking it. God damn. Yeah, that was very lucky. Nothing like that has ever happened to me in my life actually besides that. I'm like, damn. I'm still I'm still like posting shorts, you know, every other day trying just the fucking it'll happen.

That one that goes two million and get you know what I mean? It'll happen though. Like it's really weird. I'm still steady at 2.7,000 views on every short that's like the fucking max that it's crazy it'll happen though YouTube's weird it's like how you would think it would work

like on every other social media platform it's like you get a bunch of views in four seconds after you post it but YouTube's like maybe in a couple of years you might it's like all right cool here we go I got it I'm let's see that

that's when it was all right so we had I don't want to see it dude you don't have to see it see you but I'll throw up. We had Mel's Bigboard and you have you have A.E. Blake Richman. Shane Wyant. Dude, just what are we doing?

We're so local, bro. We're best available. And then what we did is we had the next up in the draft. Wait, run it back. For the people I have no idea. Right. So when we were submitting like seven years ago, after Maccby retired and he started his own branch at Barstool for the indie version,

you had to put together like a hard two-minute video and submit it in order to try to get a call back to get an interview. So me and Ben did these ones where it was like an intern draft and we were getting picked and we just, it was a parody of the NFL drafted. So we had like the bottom third, the graphic, like you see during the NFL draft, but instead of on Mel's big board, instead of like other players, it was like just our friends that we were, you know, their little Easter eggs that we thought was funny. And then nobody loves the Easter eggs more than us, dude. That's what's all about, man.

And instead of the people they, or instead of like the next team to draft, it was like the next company. So Ben has Twix, S&L. and fuck right idle idle

I guess dude what a weird era for us but uh got to do it how about the amount of time the amount of time that we spent coming up with the names

we were going to put and then the companies you were going to put got to get them out baby got to get them out hey when it went dude guest number six

on your big board for best available. I don't know. Like Terry Bradshaw or some shit. Kevin Pitznoggle. Well, that's a clubhouse name, bro. That's the origin story of the club of like our podcast. We were talking about I think a couple days ago how this podcast in like a year

is going to be us being like just sitting back in a lawn chair just like naming a pro athlete. there's nothing there's nothing ever that happens on the pod besides us just casually naming names I know yeah it's fine completely fine now I was thinking about this like I think people need to step their game up from that

like I think people need to stop just naming names of players I think we need to start naming names of refs oh my God I don't see I'm bad at that I don't know All right, sure. You can give me a little Kevin Dyson, but can you talk about a little Craig Rolstad? Hey, who is the ref that was just straight jacked jacked, the first jacked rep on CBS? CB.

Hockey, dude. Yep. I want a Hockyley ref, Jersey. You can talk about Andre Risen, but how about CLEE Blakeman? I don't know. refs like that. That's what I'm saying, dude. They're all the same to me.

I look at refs like women look at like football player like linemen you know they're just all the same guy every ref is just a mold where do they come from you know who decides like hey

you know what I want to be a ref I want to do the worst job in the world they're like are they they're actually worse than cops just absolute fun suckers that's their job that's literally their job how about hey how about when you like there's a cool ref though

you're like oh like yeah you don't want to piss him off because like he's cool with the boys type of ref like when you're actually playing not as a fan yeah well that's the only thing I can think of like when you're playing like a like a basketball game like in

like high school or something and the ref is like yeah I know what you're saying and the coach your coach respects him too yeah he's like kind of talking with him before the game and like or like he calls up found He said, come on, Jeff. You're right.

He calls him by his first name. Dude, when coaches do that? Oh, but after the game, they're like, yeah, so Colts at 430? Like, you know what I mean? That was hard. I kind of fuck with that ref. Like, my dad doesn't mind him. Like, we're good.

We're cool. We're chill with that rep. Like, yeah, yeah. You know that if you saw him at, like, a pub, yeah, you'd just be chilling at the bar, having a cold one. kind of holding cord a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's seen it all.

He refs the, he refs, you know, Mr. football back in the day. Oh, yeah, I remember it all.

Got a bunch of story. I remember him, yeah. Yeah, and you like, and you, like, I just like to let him play,

you know, I just like, let him play. I'm not here to make it about me, you know, it's about the players, let them decide. Because there's always the dad

in the crowd that's like, let him play. God, yeah, how about that? I so badly, you know what? I need to be, I want to be like your, this is fucked up, but I want to be like your dad, hear it. I want to be like your dad when it comes to watching my kids events. Yeah, that is, that is one positive thing about my dad.

He's like so like, not my, not my time. Just, he's just back. Right. He's on like the top row probably. Maybe not even. He's like standing outside, like watching through the doorway. There's a couple times my dad pulled up in his car and would just watch from his car. Like, but like that is one thing about my, he never criticized any like anything I did when I played or like our coach or like the ref.

He was just kind of like, yeah, just fucking figure it out, dog. Because there's nothing worse than that dad that's like. sitting front row right behind the scores table or like right behind them get a ball every time there's a loose ball get a boop get a boop get a bo i just feel like i just feel like that's you know the the the destiny that everybody tries the fate that everybody tries to avoid but most people just fall into it you know it's hard man It's hard not to. Because you got your whole heart and soul into the game, you know? Yeah.

It's crazy. Like, Frank, so my son, he, he's a year and a half, just about a year and a half. And, like, now it's to the point where I'll be like, hey, Frankie, I'm like, Green Eddie, Green Eddie, set hut. And he'll get down and do like a three-point stance, you know? And then when I say set hut, he'll, like, come out and oh, I don't come tackle me, you know? And we've been taking the little mini Steelers football and I've been like tossing it to him and he's been catching it.

A little sweep right. Bro, he's been catching it. And like I'm, you know, I was joking with Rye. I'm like, holy shit, he's going to win the Heisman. You know, it's like you see it's fucked up how when you take a step back. Like you see how parents get to be that way because I'm sitting there with my kid. I'm like so proud. This is so awesome when he's a year and a half and he's just like catching a toss that I throw it to him.

Oh, yeah. good hands it's crazy you got it I got a I got a Joe Polizzi I got to step back I got throwing the khakis

In there before And the buttoned up shirt Step back Yeah that's just My dad's just a guy That's seen too many games in his life So he's probably just like All right

You know Seen it all Yeah Truly Too many games Uh Yeah dude but you gotta have the loud parent in the crowd

that gets like tossed out of a couple games because then like you're starting to play like your rival team and I'm like I'm glad we got his ass in the crowd like kind of set in the tone like we're not here to we're not here to fall like fold over for you guys like we got we got what Mr. Andrews in the crowd

like he's going to let you know that we're here that's what I always thought I was like we got parents that'll be chilling in the back by the concession say, like, my dad will be there, like, whatever. But, like, we got, like, a couple, like, rowdy-ass dads in the crowd that are going to, like, get on your ass. Like, I kind of like the feeling. How about when the other team has those?

You get a little, you know, you hit an and one and you kind of maybe stare at them a little bit, get a little cocky. I'm getting the chills, bro. Seventh grade, you get a little N-1 turning, staring at St. Maria Gretti? Loud dad in the crowd. suck. Dude. Imagine if any of us ever did one of it.

If we silenced the crowd, we would have gotten killed. I think I thought about it. I thought about it. I never did it, I don't think. My cocky ass in eighth grade probably definitely did. I was a little fuck in eighth grade, yeah. And didn't, with no right to be. I think I did it at a basketball camp one time.

which wants fucking screamed at me it was so uncalled for it's little eighth grade shit to the fucking I was you know 52 year old OBGYN and uh saint suzana who's just fucking going crazy

but I have like eight points though I'm like right dude if I got to admit like if Frank ever did that it'd be one of those things where like outwardly I would have to be like we don't do that son come on by Like, if it was just me and him in the car, I'd be like,

fuck yeah, dude. My boy. That's my boy, dude. Especially if he, like, does his thing during the game. Right. Like, if he has, if he has 20 and 8, like, all right. 20 and 8 with an and 1 with, like, two minutes to go to really put the game out of reach.

Like, hit a deep three. Like, he can shoot, too. Fucking hit the chest a little bit, man. Give a little. Throw up the, the saint's side. Simon. Yeah, dude. Hey, your team player. We're here. Come on. It's all about the front of the jersey, not the back of the jersey. Two touchdowns. 150 on the ground. Oh, yeah. We've been about the touchdown dances. But it's different when it's basketball and you're like right there and your face is out, you know? Yeah, that's hard. Everybody's so far away in football and you got the helmet on like basketball, especially CIO or high school basketball.

they're like on you dude you're on stage you're on stage baby to the band all the all those fuckers up there on the stage of the band I would feel bad to the band like you might look a little too good

you know you got like too nice of shoes on yeah yeah then you kind of feel like a dick after you do it you're like I didn't mean that that's how about the student how about the student section battles back of the day though like that shit in high school

in high school they can they can get it bro it would get so heated and personal oh my god some of the stuff the shittard student section would say to the Roncalli student section I was like how do

they know I remember my senior year we were playing our tutor was playing at our high school where Yogi Farrell was the point guard okay

Yeah. Senior year. Oh, that's crazy. Massive game. I'm pretty sure like Tom Crean was in the stands, like sitting there watching his prize recruit. I thought you're about to say Tom Cruise. I was like. Packed house, Friday night game, right? Aaron Colise. Yeah, everybody's just going crazy. I'm going. I'm going to do that.

And it's a student section battle. Like, we don't even care about the game damn there. It's just like, fuck you, fuck you back and forth. Wait, were you guys, was Ron Cawley good? Was Ron Cully good? Yeah. Park Tudor hits a shot to take the lead by one with like, probably like six seconds left. Ron Calley gets the ball, does a quick inbound,

takes it up, Brad Faye takes it up the near sideline, throws it towards the, yeah, throws it towards the rim, Mike Clements comes down with it, hits a reverse layup as time expires to win the game. We immediately sprint to the other corner to the students, section are flipping them off. Like, like,

it's, it's not even a, yeah, it's not even about the game. Dude, it's just all the testosterone in the student section. Fuck you.

Yeah. Not about the game at all. It was so satisfying. How about what, like when you're driving home, like the people trying to get out from traffic from the opposing team, you just beat at your stadium. You're just like talking so much in your car.

Like your dad The cheerleader fucking marker on your car Yeah You see the bus pull away Get out of here Hey watch some film What? Just saying that's stupid as shit to him

That is a good feeling though All right Let's get some clubhouse here real quick Before we get out of here Damn I didn't want that to end I know This is from Tommy

Dad play by play Dear Ben and Joey, writing in at 11.30 p.m. Just wanting to say you guys have been on a relatable tear the last couple of pods. One, when you guys broke down how difficult ordering a beefy, five-layer burrito is because my buddy literally slurred it so hard to be fullier, which we still give him shit for today. Two, how every dad thinks he's an announcer because he says the same thing.

The real announcer says five seconds before, aka my dad tonight. Anyway, not much else to say, but thanks for cheering me up as I listen to the pod of my drive home. after the Steelers continuously come out flat, slap my ass and throw a deep incompletion on fourth down instead of gaining two yards for a first. That's so frustrating. How about the deep? And what's even more frustrating is that like

if it's fourth and one or fourth and two or third and two and they take a deep shot and it comes up incomplete, you know, inevitably somebody on Twitter who's a super smart guy will be like, yeah, they got one on the outside, they're going to take that every time. It's like, hey, don't give a fuck guy.

Flaw ahead for three yards. Let's keep this thing going. Yeah. But you always do like kind of like, yeah, he does. You got to give him some credit a little bit. I fucking hate, like, there's so many just smart tough guys on Twitter. It's so fucking annoying. And I'm like, how are you smart?

You know, like Josh Allen last night, like heaves up just a terrible backfoot interception at midfield. and it's like, because it's fourth and three, I like tweeted a joke about it. And everybody's just like, it was basically a punt. It's fourth down. It's basically a punt. What was your tweet? Because I saw it. I tweet about how it's incredible.

And it really is. Like, it's incredible that Josh Allen just like, he doesn't give a shit. Like he goes out there and it truly is like playing real life pro football how me and you would play Madden. You know, and Madden when you're just like, that's fourth and six. Yeah, we're going to go for it. Yeah, I'm just going to fucking shuck it to X. Like, that's how he.

plays. That's sick. And it is. It's super cool. Like, who wouldn't want to be a pro quarterback and just be able to be like, yeah, yeah, fuck it. Hey, gunslinger. But just like all the all the football film guys. There's essentially a pun. Shut the fuck up. Yeah.

Come on, bro. You don't know. They do think they know everything. Oh, my God. Dude, you watch all 22 six times and all of a sudden you're fucking genius. Shut the fuck up. All 22. What a drag.

I was thinking about, I know we're talking about this before too, but we should do a video where it's just like, who's watching that? Watching film, watching film is a football, or guy breaking down film, and like all it is for like 90 seconds is just the setup and they keep, and you keep rewinding it back.

Guy going in motion across the formation. I'm like, they just get to the snap of the ball and then they rewind it and it never gets to it I'm like are you edging me right now like Jesus Christ play yeah

like just for once can you just let it run for a minute just a minute let it ride let it ride please just keep for like for literally two minutes it's the longest video

ever does watching the full back dude just go across the formation Clubhouse submission Clubhouse submission from Rick Random NFL running back name Hey guys First time club house are here

I thought it was amazing here you guys talked about The 2002 Oakland Raiders I grew up near Oakland and my dad was one of the founding members of the Black Hole of 96 Huh? Like is that played? No like you know the fan That's their student section The Black Hole

Oh yeah Founding father So was his dad one of the guys with the shoulder pads with like the big like Dill-LLLLLLL's on it or helmet on? Bro, when I first saw that, I was like, I'm always like, that would be kind of scary to play there, I think. Those guys were insane more than any other like fan section, right? Browns and Raiders.

I was like, you guys are crazy. And the Redskins dressed up as, or the, my bad, they dressed up as pigs. I was like, dude, when they're winning. Gruden was coaching the Raiders and they'd have like those Chucky dolls with like the knife through the head and shit and I was like Bro, that's what that made me a low-key Raiders fan. I was like, you guys are actually kind of

scary. Playing on a baseball field? I's like, you guys don't know what is going on. I was like, this is the craziest thing I've ever seen my life, dude. And they have Charles Woodson, let's go. Me and Ben's favorite football game of all time. The Monday night football

December, I think like three days before Christmas Brent Favre game after his dad died RIP R-I-P, bro. R-I-P. They're like five touchdowns. That was crazy

and that's not talked about enough, dude. It's really not. It was like the most legendary performance of all time ever. He's like crying after every touchdown. After every second, after every breath he took. it. Nothing

could go wrong. He was literally just throwing up jackpot balls and somehow like Antonio Freeman was just coming down with it.

Nothing could go wrong. Like the one game of Brett Farms' career where he's making the stupidest throws that one game. Dude, Brett Farm always

has some weird like runs to the sideline almost to like the first down mark or like the light of skirm. bitch, throws it all the way across his body and somebody catches it.

I'm like, or like does one of those flips, like weird, like, why'd Red Farm have an underhand flip every game? This and then a hard clap and like, uh, all right, this is still from Rick. Marshall Fox, no strip was memorable on the cover of Madden, his teammate is the obscure NFL name I haven't heard on the pod yet. Trung candidate. Wow. Trung candidate.

Yeah. I was like, what? yeah wait who did he play for that's definitely that's definitely made up he played for the Rams you know Trung I love Trong Marshall Fogg

always they always like he always had the plug mouthpiece it was never the it was never St. Louis Rams Navy it was always like royal I was like can he not like is he colorblind I always bothered me

what Biggins has been rocking the he had the red and green one on Christmas Eve, and then he's just been going with the green one. I can't believe the NFL lets them do that.

I've always been in awe that they can wear whatever mouthpiece they want. D.K. Metcalf has like a pacifier in his mouth. I'm like, dude, this is insane. What JV game am I watching right now? Yeah.

Like get a regular, like get at least team colors. Pickens had a red one and a green one. I was like, this is insane. On Christmas Eve Eve, yeah. That was kind of, that did kind of. That did kind of like make my heart tingle a little bit during the Christmas.

That's the tone. Rick says, drag me through the Oakland Coliseum Enfield while feeding me seven-up lemon pound cake and slap my ass with a bop at that place. Damn, son. Where'd you find this? Oh, bro. That is all time. All right. That's Clubhouse.

Love house. Yeah, be sure. Team these guys at gmail.com. dot buy tickets to ben's show and st louis on the 25th can't wait let's go yeah yeah yeah and subscribe subscribe to us on youtube

and uh here's talk about brett farves a miracle game on monday night football every other week same is chin strap yeah brad farf's chin strap what i'd do to have one of those in real life just to be able to rip that thing off yeah But yeah. Cool.

Yeah. We'll talk to you next week, Clubhouse. All right. These guys. Rod Smith. Ryan Grant.