THESE GUYS! - Month Madness

Episode Date: January 17, 2023

On this episode Ben finally brought a "Minute" out of Joey🔔 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@theseguys9539

I take my phone away from the table. I don't want to be distracted. Tell me when to go. Tell me when to go. Tell me when to go. Yeah, I did, yeah, I have a hard time deciding if I'm going to be a family, like a family like that.

You know, phone on the table family. You know, you stack them and everybody gets together and does their, you know, their conversations over dinner. I'm probably going to be like, you can have your,

you can have your, I don't want to be like, hey, commander and chief. Right. You know, you can have your phone at the table, but just be respectful. I can't do it. That's a, but that's a, again, you kind of open up Pandora's box there, bro.

What's the line of respectful? How are, how are, by the way, these guys 17. Remember to subscribe on YouTube, listen on Apple, podcast, Spotify, all that. Yes, please. Thank you. And love us. How about our outfits? Kiss us.

I mean, what? Give me a little tis. People like that one. Give me a little hug and tis tis. These outfits or something, I took down a tis last night, by the way. Nice. Full tis? Full tis, dude.

It's not as much as people think. Yeah, you're right. It's really going on it. When you get down to business, it's probably like four pieces of grilled chicken. I was going to say, yeah, because you're taking away all the skin and all that shit. You're, you know. Yeah, if you're eating the skin, you're a freak, bro. Are you eating the skin?

Yeah. The first layer when you're getting the first, and then it's all just chicken. All right. I get it because I want to eat it so bad, but I don't. Respectful, the respect line. What's the respect line with the phones? Oh, with the phones?

Oh, when you're at dinner. Like, what kind of, am I at a family dinner? Is my grandma there? I'm trying to say, is it Easter? I'm trying to say, you're setting the rule. Your commander in chief is your family. Like my son and my, you know, my future kids besides Frankie. Damn, I don't want to have a family because of shit like this.

This is why I don't want to have a family. Oh, my God. Put all your fucking shit in your rooms. Let's talk about your day at school. That's my worst nightmare to say that shit. God, here we go. You know? What did you do today?

You play kickball at recess? Because I know if I have kids, it's going to be like three girls. And there's going to be dead. on their phones a whole time like this. Probably chewing gum during dinner. What the fuck? Yeah, you're destined for that. Oh, dude.

I could have eight kids, all gonna be girls. I accepted it. So you're not, so you're just, you're, you're foregoing the whole thing just because you don't want to deal with that. Oh,

just because all that kid stuff. Yeah, well, I'm beyond that, so I'm not turning back now. So what's your rule? I mean, because you're going to be on your phone

and stuff. when you're older at the dinner table, bro. You always got to be on your phone. I think, yeah, I'm not going to make you like stack it up in the middle of the table or like leave it in your room or something. But I think that's fair. You can have it on you, but I just don't want to see it while the meal is going on. We got to be, we got to, we can, we can, hey, we can take 30 minutes and spend time with one another. And then you can go be on your phone.

Not bad, yeah. No bad. You gotta get into dinner like you get into like a podcast. You know? Yeah. You're not like, let's say grace.

We're starting the pot. You just got to slip it in. Just like, yeah, let's just start talking about something gradually. Yeah. Are you having the TV on during dinner? That I will do.

Yeah, I have the TV. So awkward if you don't have the TV on. If the TV's not on, it's like, what is it? 1862. So many quiet dinners.

I had a lot of those growing up. Oh, no way. Like I don't know why the TV wasn't on but it wasn't. And it was like quiet. And I was like, I hate this. My sister's like, I can hear you chewing. I was like, fuck, no shit. That's, yeah, you're just starting fights then. But then when you got the TV, you got the TV, then it's like people are arguing over what to watch. And I had the seat at the table that my back was towards the TV. Oh, you had like designated seats.

Well, we just all sat down in the same spot for dinner. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And on my back was always to the damn TV. So I was like, I don't know what the fuck were. Everybody. else was, hey, everybody else was. Yeah, because they were older, you know what I mean? They were older, so they got the good seats. So I was just a little bitch sitting like back to the TV. And I was like, what do you guys? And they'd be like, shut up. And then if the TV wasn't on, then you're just chewing and people are just looking at me and they're like, you're a bitch. And they clink into the silverware. Shave your unibrow. And they're like, is everybody, do we all hate each other? What is this? Yeah, we do. I thought this was, they say that families who have dinner together, it's supposed to be like,

beneficial for the kid. It might fuck them up more. Yeah, it was bad, dude. Oh, the amount of times I got in trouble at dinner. For what? Just everything, though. What are you like playing with your food? Not eating and shit. I'd be pretty normal, but I just didn't really have good manners when I was like 12 and shit. Yeah.

Because who does? Did you guys go around the table and... Hell no. Yeah, no, I figured. But one time I blew my nose at the table. Oh my God. I think my dad may be eating the bathroom. I would.

Come on. But it wasn't like a... Like, you know what I mean? It was probably like... You know, I had to get something out real quick. I mean, did you use a napkin? Yeah. Okay, that's not that bad.

But I mean, damn. I was like, it's not like I don't know you people. You know, your dad? I mean, come on. Bro, and my dad was at the crib during dinner. It was like... Let's figure that out. Fucking all rise, bro.

Jesus Christ. I feel like your dad was a big like we need to, oh, you know, I don't want, I don't want you guys to talk. I don't really want to do, but we need to like be at the table together. Your parents ever make you like finish your food hardcore? Yeah. Yeah. Like dad always the last fucking 30 minutes after it was done. He's still, I'm like what?

How? Wait, what's going on? He's still eating. Oh. And my sisters, of course, like, didn't, you know, they'd be done way. early. If Emily, even the youngest one even came out, right? In and out. Right. Maybe in and out. Mom's already worried about the dishes and everything. Yeah, I'm, I started to get older. I'm like, I can put down some food. But then I'm like, all right, I'm done. Go up. Put my stuff away.

Go and sit back down. Maybe start working on some homework. Act like I'm working on homework. See what's on TV watching the game. That's still there while they're still eating. While the, well, the, well, the, the, what's that called? The dish, the, when you put it down the sink and it oh disposal. Yeah, while the garbage disposal is like going every three seconds

because my mom's dumping the shit in there. What's your dad doing? Is he just eating mine in his own business? Mine is his own business? Does he have like the paper out or anything? No. He's still reading the fucking paper. That's like the one,

apparently you are. The news. Extra, extra, read all about it. Indianapolis star. For the YouTube viewers, uh,

yeah, we went, um, we went some, Some office Johnson and Schmitty here. Yeah, all right. You'll see. Yeah.

But yeah, that's like the only, you know what? That's like, you know, I think about it. That's like the only time that we could get my dad to just like be in a moment, not looking like a laptop or like taking a call or writing something down on a notepad or something. My dad would just be in it at dinner. That's kind of nice. Dude, your dad is always on the phone. Holy shit.

And then as soon as that motherfucker stepped away from the table. table. This is Joe. No, but did you ever not want to eat something on your plate that your mom made and your parents made you finish your food? Like, eat all that. You're not getting up unless, what was it? What was the thing that you were just like, I just can't?

For a while, it was like green beans. How fire are those now? Oh, well, I love them. I have them all, like almost every meal. That's all I look forward to now is. vegetables. By far my favorite vegetable is green beans. And I used to, as a kid, it's just like one of those

things. I don't know what happened to my taste buds, but it clicked and I was like, I'm like a green green bean goddess right now. Green bean goblin. No, I feel you. That's the only thing I do now. It's just, I like, you like the worst shit when you get older. I'm trying to clean that up, man, in 2023.

No, like the worst tasting stuff. Oh. It's good for you. Yeah. Yeah. Like I like some charred, like carrots and corn and peas. Like on the shit's fire. Maybe put a little bit like pico de gallo on there. Maybe a little salsa just to give it a little something. Fuck it.

I'm in. Hot sauce, low cow, but a little flavor, a little kick. I'm a sauce bitch right now. Over some charred, like you said,

some charred vegetables. I'll put some sauce on anything you need. It doesn't matter what it is, dude. Deli mustard? I've been fucking deli mustard up. Right. I found this like,

uh, it's like, uh, this Korean barbecue like sauce. It's a young, No, it's not. It literally, nothing.

I don't know what that is. It's like, but we've been having a lot of salmon recently. And you put it, you put it on the salmon and it's a nice. Yeah, because you get a barbecue sauce, straight up barbecue sauce on salmon.

That's kind of weird. It's like, dude. But if you put it like this kind of like, Asian zing barbecue, something to, you know, and then you put it that,

that fits. It's good. Sam. Yeah. Zams, Zaddy. Sam and Zaddy's. Like a house some.

salmon. Every night, dude. That's another thing. Not with that back in the day. Oh, salmon? Yeah. No, when people ordered fish when I was a kid, I was like, where are you from? Fish?

I'll take the, even if it was fried fish, I'd be like, whoa. Almost worse when it was fried fish. It's like, you're looking at the just like the fresh, you know, salmon or like the grilled fish or whatever. You're like, okay. I mean, like, I don't want it. but that if I had to fancy like probably good for you

fried fish I'm like oh shit why are we at the state fair fried fish what is it fucking lent is this it's this uh stroke meter he's having a stroke he's having a stroke

people of Indianapolis he is having a stroke bring out those two like metal things I wish every time we had a stroke somebody would come in here and just charge just with those metal irons. That's my dream to be under that thing. Long John Silvers is what I was looking for. You charged it back in the fried fish.

I'm like, shit. You ever been to LJS? No, man, I got sick off it when I was nine years old. Never went back? Never went back. What'd you get? I know you remember. There was still some, you know, hush puppies for sure.

Gas. God dang, my family love that shit. Even my mom was picky as hell. She was just like, you know, yeah. Your mom is picky, yeah. That is. you going bro

nobody told you to stop bro that's just what like that yeah I mean yeah it's funny like doesn't want to admit that she wants them but like

it's always me it's always meh yeah no it was good all right mom but then like but then like see my mom

she fucking holds out for so long on things just to like be different and piss us off if you guys honestly get a long on that front.

But like, we're all trying to talk her into something. Talk her into something. I just, what do you mean? You just, what?

Literally one time, we laugh about it all the time. She goes, she was talking about somebody on TV. I can't remember. She was like, ah.

She was like, ah, hate her. And we were like, why? Don't know. She just goes, don't like her.

No shit. But why? She's a bitch. No, not even. They're just straight up. I hate her. Why? Don't like her.

Okay. That's how my mom rolls. That's how my mom rolls. So then it's like, but then once you finally break through the seal, get her into something, you get her to try something. Then she'll go for like a month and a half where that's all she wants. Ooh. Now I'm like that too. I'm exactly like that.

Buffalo chicken tenders from Colvers. That's it. Dude, we were like, mom, you got to. Change it up. We're all like, you know, because that's like a depression food for the Steelers,

right? Whenever the Steelers lose. She's deep down. She's open for that L. We, like Colvers is like if it's at the end of the season or if it's like big end where it's like,

yeah, we'll get some Culver's because the Steelers lost. And, you know, she usually would get a burger or whatever. And finally we figured out that the Buffalo chicken tenders are back, which remember on the way

to the Kentucky Derby, we found, Rye was like, what do you mean you on Buffalo chicken tenders? Oh, that's why. continued them. So then we found out that they were back.

We're like, oh, we got to go get some. My mom's like, I just, I don't, I just, right. And we're like just, they're so good. We all, literally the entire family, we all like them. We're telling you we want to stay wrong. Let's try him. We go get some. She tries it.

And she can tell, you can tell in her face. She's like, that's amazing. I've never been so nervous in my life other than when people are trying food for the first time. When you're like recommending it and I'm like here, bro. and they're trying it and they're like, they take the weirdest, like,

concerning bite. Yeah. I'm like, you're not getting anything. They already know they don't, they don't want to like it because you like it

and they're like, but nobody ever goes like this after. Oh, that was really good. But she did. She, and you could see in her face and in her mind

that she's like, damn they're right. But she had to play at low key. So she like took your little bitch bite. You've never been happier. Okay. You know, and then,

but then now, now she literally assortened it to we get BCT that's when you know you want some shit dude when you turn it when he turn it into like a what the fuck is that called

acronym acronym yeah shorten it acronyms little BCD Buffalo chicken dip yep she dropped that on us and I literally was like okay now you're nicknaming

it whoa three I I remember two seconds ago, you won nothing to do with it. She had like the summer. Literally, we call it the summer of the McChicken. It was like summer 2019. She had never done a McChicken. I just, I don't like, I don't, I don't McDonald's, I don't try to McChicken.

Fire. Literally the whole summer of 2019. She was always just like, oh, right, my one of McDonald's is going to McChicken or something. Chicken summer. They're so good. They're so plain. Oh, I love you, Ma. McChicken summer.

Definitely going to get a text about that. this. It's so funny. Oh, well. You told everyone my diet. Hey, I heard you had a minute for us. Man, I finally do. Yes! I finally do. It just... Let's talk. I got some time. It just, it's reaching a point with me for... Are we starting? Yeah. The Prince Harry and Megan Markle shit. I just don't understand. I don't understand why it's the lead story on every fucking local show.

Hey, who are the? National show. Every single podcast is talking about it. Some reason it's on ESPN about Harry's memoir, I'm sure. I just don't understand about, I don't want to be that guy. But in like in America, why the today's show is leading about drama that's going on with Prince Harry. and also Prince Harry, why do you think

that anybody gives a flying fuck about your problems? He's a prince. Dude, he's fucking memoirs and podcasts and a five-part, six-part documentary series on Netflix?

Who cares about them? Who cares, dude? Aren't we all supposed to, though? I'm not. I'm certainly not. Who's dialed into that shit? I genuinely don't know. Because every time I see somebody talk about it online or anything, it's all just making fun of them and how like this is terrible and why do we care.

But yet the Today Show every single day is like, well, and Prince Harry, they go. They have a fucking correspondent in London. They're in front of the castle. And they're like, oh, yeah, well, another development. They really live in a castle? With Prince Harry and Megan Markel. What's the latest? I'm like, there's a war going on. There's four students in Idaho that were murdered. There's like our economies to shit. I don't know. We're fucking. leading with, oh, Prince Harry, my brother was mean to me. And my, my grandmother dinner like my wife. And I'm like, that's every fucking family, dude. Big who is this guy? And he's kind of a piece of shit too.

Every time he always, there's some scandal that comes out, right? I'm just so sick of it, man. And like, they're just every clip I see. I'm like, you guys are just so unlikable, dude. like read no read the situation your life can't be that bad read the room royal family read the castle hey whenever you're they really live in a castle though whenever they don't because they like separated themselves from the royal i don't fuck you know everything about well yeah because i it's thrown in my face every single day when i'm just trying to watch my news the local news channel

here channel 13 at like a five o'clock in the morning news prince harry we're just just, hey, you know what? People want to know about the traffic when they're going to work. They want to know about the weather. They want to know about if there was crime in their neighborhood overnight. They certainly in Indianapolis, Indiana, on the local affiliate, Burpee Boy. I love you, Burpee Boy. Whoa.

Don't care about the latest podcast hit that Prince Harry did. Hey, man, you know, when you're feeling down and gloom about your situation, just remember, you got Prince in front of your fucking name. Can't be that bad. Prince. So that was longer in a minute, but... No, it was nice. I'll let you milk it for a little bit.

It was actually four minutes, which is perfect. Yeah, so that's what's been... That's what's been bothering me. Yeah, I couldn't know less about that. And I really don't because I tune it out every single time, but I just... I'm just like, is there really... You know how... cowards. I was just like, you guys drive the bus.

I just talk about what you talk. I'm like, is there really a demand for that? Everybody like, shut up, shut up, shut up, Prince Harry. Didn't they have a reality show or something? Probably, dude. I think they've had it all by now. Fucking reality show, drama series, podcast, interviews on every national show.

Who care? Every magazine cover. Every magazine cover. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa! Every time I check out at Target. Whoa! It's like he was complaining about like his older brother like got aggressive with him. I'm like, yeah, that's what siblings do.

Especially when he live in a castle. My brother approached me and grabbed me by my shirt. I'm like, that is just fucking Tuesday with my sister who's nine years younger to me. Don't see her. Oh my God. Got to take a, take a breath after that. Just get me all fired up, Molnard minute. It's been a while.

Love it, dude. You get any more minutes in you? What else is going on? Not right now. You know, you can't do it every week. No, it's what the people want. I don't know. And I'm people.

Hey, how about Twitter being TikTok now? Is it? What happened? Have you gotten the update? No, I try not to update anything on my phone. Yeah, I don't either. But like, I think it just automatically does every now and then. You know when it's like, it goes like dark and it like kind of, you can't use it.

and it does a little circle thing. No, now your phone, like an app. Oh, yeah. Like, what? Oh, it kind of just like does it itself. You know, just like self cleanse. Yeah, yeah. It does it automatically because there's no way.

I'd have, I'd have my phone would be from 2001. If you have to do this. Why is it so like, oh, final update an app? You know, why does it like take so much out of you? Not only on a phone, but on a laptop. Updating an app on a laptop? I'd rather throw my laptop out. I'm like, what's the point?

I've never been. on an app on my laptop. Laptop. Figure out that when I say I'll try again tomorrow. It means for fucking nevers. Remind me tomorrow. I'm just like shut up completely.

I got to tip my cap to you, Macbook. You're really persistent. You're on it. Jesus. You literally don't take no for an answer. How about this, MacBook? Just update all the shit on your own.

Why am I like, just do it? I don't know. Remind me again tomorrow for four years. You ever get the Facebook notification at someone's birthday that like you went to high school with? I'm getting us for some reason. Yeah, yeah. Is this a random notification? Just right at the top right of your screen.

Oh, no, I don't do that way. If I go onto that app, you know, it'll say like such a birthday today. And then it's like, oh, okay. But I don't get like a push notification or whatever. I do for some reason. It's just the most random people. Just chattel Farrell's birthday. I'm like, what am I supposed to do with this shit?

Wish them happy birthday. Hell no. Dude, those people are, no. Their contact info is gone. Dude, I don't even think you, you probably only wish like four people happy birthday. Yeah. Maybe not even four.

Me, your sisters. No, I forget it's my, both my sister's birthday every year. I forget every year. I feel, yeah. And now I feel like, I feel like your sisters have never had a birthday. Because they're the weird estates. March 1st and December 9th.

Those are weird birthdays. Why? Because you mean, come on. Some birthdays you just, you just. No. Yeah.

Yeah. Some birthdays are just like, ah, yeah. November 2nd. Is that weird? No, that's good.

Okay. This has got to be a good number. I think those are both fine. Good number, good month. March 1. is like, you know. It's pretty good, pretty good. But when's March, you know? I don't even, what does that even mean? I never know in March is happening.

After February, the 28th. Now, once we, once we get February, March, April, May, I'm like, could be any of them. You don't think like that? You know, March April, May are all the same part of the year that no one knows what's happening. What month is? I don't know. Just March April or May. Dude, those months are irrelevant to time. Easter sneak. You're like, oh, okay. No idea when Easter is. This is where we are.

It could be March, April, or May. Well, sometimes that's what's shitty about Easter is that, you know, every other fucking holiday, you know, St. Paddy's Day, March 17th. No one knows that, but you. Nicola, you know that? Did you know when St. Patrick's Day was? I know it's in March sometimes. Fuck up, dude. March 17.

You know when St. Patrick's is the week of because people are like, oh, you going out? No, it's, oh my God. And I'm like, I guess. Okay. Oh, it's St. Patrick's Day this week. Every other normal human being, they know that March 17th is St. Patty's Day. Then Halloween, October 31st. That's an easy one.

Thanksgiving, the last Thursday of the month. Yep. Of November, Christmas. We're in the recognize. Here we go. We got it. Fourth of July. I mean, come on, people.

It's literally. fucking title. But everything in between, who knows? But Easter screws you because Easter sometimes is late March. Sometimes the first weekend of April. Sometimes it's like April 17th. What are we doing? Can we land on like, hey, you know what? Tax Day is April 15th,

April 18. No one knows. Everyone knows. April 15th is tax day. Fucking knows that. Dude, you're going to go to jail. I will go to jail for that, dude. I can't wait to fucking go to jail for that. Oh, he didn't do his taxes. I'd be like, oh,

all right. I mean, yeah, probably not. Go ahead, take me. Are you going to do them for me on the way? It's the only way they're getting done. You'd have to be like you're going to jail tomorrow if you don't do your taxes. And I'd be like, I'll wait till like the hour of. You're so dumb, dude.

I know. How are you 32 years old, bro? I'm not. You're fucking dumb. Taxes, bro. I think I'm dumb, man. No, I'm so. Oh God. It's incredible. Sometimes, you know, you know what you are. Sometimes it's like when you're, dude, when you're in grade school and like, you know, you're struggling in math class, right? But like, you're struggling is like a B minus, maybe a C plus. Right. And it's like that's stressful. You know, you're thinking about that. It's like, man, I'm down.

But then, like, you remember, like, you know, you remember the other, you think about the dumbest game. You're like, oh. I could be that. I could be that kid. I could be Jacob. I was a kid that was, like, trying to tie his shoe during math. So they didn't, like, call on me. Oh, shit.

I'd be, like, under my desk. The teacher would be like, no, but that's what you are for adults. Like, whenever I'm just like, man, I need to get my shit together on, I'm like, oh, Ben has no idea. Just remember. I have no idea what's going on with that. How would I ever know? So true. Further proving my point that your dad is probably the mafia.

He's got to be, dude. Just fucking takes care of everything under the table. Big under the table guy. You will do it under the table. Can't say that because then it's not under the table, but you know. UTT, big UTT. Gotta make it an acronym, bro. Easter though.

Yeah, I can't. March. March. I can get behind March. Nothing's happening in March. I can get behind March. April, by far my least favorite month. By far my least favorite month. April showers. Doesn't even rain in April. It's raining twice in April my whole life. I'm like, January, you got the NFL playoffs. February, you got the Super Bowl. It's a short-ass month. There's like a random holiday in there. Oh, Valentine's Day. February 14th. Fuck out of here with that. But I mean, mean, you know that February 14th. It's every year, February 14th. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Thanks for like putting that. You know what I mean? Thanks for having a time and day for Valentine's Day. The flex dates for holidays. I'm like, bro. Exactly. Come on. You get to March. Again, you got St. Patty's Day. People are festive. Maybe the weather starting to turn a little bit. You got March madness. It's always, you know, a little something fun. It's like you're on the horizon of like the great part of the year coming up. But then April really brings you back down to Earth, man.

You know, there's nothing. People are like, the masters. I'm like, I like golf, but like, come on. No, you don't. Does anybody like golf actually? God dang, man. Some people like, the golf Twitter guys, holy shit. Wow, irrelevant.

Holy shit, man. If you don't, like, they will hit you hard over the head with a fucking nine iron. If you are talking about like month stuff or like, Best sporting event. I mean, they will blow your ass up about the Masters or about, and I'm just like, dude, come on. Like the Masters over the Super Bowl? Shut up.

You know? That's like, that's Man Cave to it. That's Man Cave Twitter to a T. Who's watching that? The golf Man Cave guy. Come on. I like this list, but, I like this list, but, I like this list, but if you're not Augustus,

on Thursday. Dude, fuck off. Sorry. Like, I'll go play golf with you. I'll go to Back 9 and do all that shit, but I'm not putting fucking the Masters over the first weekend of college football. I'm not doing the driving range of a minute. Should we

go? Dude, I... Should we go golf? I honestly... So should we watch the Masters? You look like you're about to, bro. You look like you're about to play over in Scotland. With Prince Harry. I went... my dream. That's secretly my dream

this whole podcast. You just been shitting on them. I'm like, I'm the guy that watches all that. What if I care? What if that's what I cared about? It would make too much sense.

Fucking the royal family. I did go to back nine golf in downtown indie though a couple weeks ago. It was a really fun. It was a good time. Did you get a bucket of balls? Nah,

dude, they do that. It's like you pay for, the time in the bay and then you have that they have the little automatic thing where you put your club like you wave it in front and then a ball shoots out. Yeah

so you don't got to mess with all that. Those places always have like such cool drinks and food and shit like you're just getting nachos. Because nobody really wants to golf. I hate to break it to you. How do we make this place a lot of fun

besides what people are coming here for? Yeah. Yeah, it's got like three stories. Yeah, a DJ. Yeah, dude. What? What's that?

She's try her fries. I'm like, what's the fuck you talking about? Three stories. They're all three stories. Just somebody please fall off. That's my dream. Somebody, that third, that third floor.

That's the top golf video I want to see. no awesome stroke bro it's all this is that i just want to see somebody fucking eat it off the top row i don't want to see it from that angle i want to see it from the first floor and they're right there does somebody filming their girlfriend winding up most unathletic drive of all time somebody just now we're talking all wrapped up in a net that is the shit that we want to see for sure man now we're talking oh I just want to... That's too good.

Yeah, that's another thing. It's like, how many fucking Instagram reels can you see? It's like, to the moon. And it's just somebody hitting it really far at Top Cough. That's what I'm saying. I mean, I've seen this literally every day for my whole life. Somebody. Like, you have to, at this point, to excite me with golfing videos, you have to fall off.

Somebody has to die. You have to hit... And I'll still be like, I'll still be like, I'm not liking it. Don't even get him a fire emoji. God. Hate that social strategy. Anyway, I want to go to Top Golf? I think you'd really enjoy it, though.

I've been. Relationship was on the rocks. That's what I pulled out of the bag. I was like, oh, this isn't going great. I was like, Top Golf on that? That sounds like the worst possible idea. That's something you do at the beginning when it's all fucking Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

No way It's on the rocks man Well I mean it was like a it was like a random day You know a day when we usually wouldn't do anything And I just pulled it out of the back pocket Out of the back nine Worst worst idea ever actually That's what that's such a like you have to just be all into each other all so fun

Like if you go you know like if me and Rye just did a date to top golf right now. We would like... She'd kill you. Yeah. Because, you know, I would kind of like, not get mad, but like I'd hit one. I'd be like, ah, fuck. And she'd be like, Joey.

And I'd be like, what? I just don't like how I hit it. And then I kind of be like in my head, it'd be like, you know what? Yeah, it's a boy state. All right. You know, it's just frustrating. I'm not really mad, but I just want to let it up. And then she'd get up there and she would, you know, probably have a not very great swing.

And I'd kind of like laugh or make a comment. And then she'd get all upset. said about that. And then we'd be kind of at each other. And it's like, why do we even do this. But if you're like, that's why they serve those awesome drinks. If it's like your fourth day. Then you guys both push each other off the fucking top row. We jump together. This fucking sucks. You want to go? Yeah. How'd they die? Over a nine iron. They decided to go. They decided to have a date night at Topgolf after they'd been together. They drove each other crazy.

Yeah, but that was the one, bro. I was like, I know it'll fix this. A little top golf. No, that's such like a fourth or fifth date. You know? Yeah. Yeah, looking back, yeah. I know that.

Obviously. Didn't, didn't work out. Didn't really pan out. Didn't pan out in your favor. That's all right. Yeah. Wasn't meant to be. It wasn't meant to be.

Love those pieces of advice. just repeat yourself this really sucks like I'm really upset about this you know like I'm really down in the dumps hey other fish in the sea okay cool yeah that sounds good hey

it is what it is oh oh I'm like no shit wow okay but then you think about it in your IQ's right I guess yeah it is right it is what are you gonna

hey what are you gonna do I don't know. It's why I'm asking. Half of my day is saying that shit to people. You know what? Hey, no. Well, so how's it going? Ah, well, this. My life's the past two weeks.

Hey, what's been going on? How's it going? Ah, it's been a tough start of the year. Grandma died and my pipes burst and my dog's sick. And I got to take him with a vet. But, uh, did you? Have you really say all that shit when somebody? No, but I'm just saying the other thing.

Then you're like, hey, you know, what, what are you going to do? That's what you're responding to all that shit that's going on? I hate when people ask me what I'm doing. I'm like, you have no fucking, just stop. Like you care. You know? Do you hear that? I did.

That was wild. What, that toad in my throat just now? Jesus Christ, bro. Rib it. Rib it. Five times a day. There's a. frog in my throat.

You ever hear those like bullfrog? Like you live like in the summertime? Yeah. That's my throat five times a day. I love you and burpee boy. Whoa. I love you bullfrog boy. Whoa.

Oh, people are under the origin of burpee boy. I heard. I saw a couple of tweets. Yeah. Yeah. I have no idea. Yeah. I mean the origin was like four or five years ago.

when we were just first doing the original... Who burped? The first espresso when it was me and you. And I was always the one, you know, because Ben, of course, Mr. Cutt, Mr. Clean, Mr. veggies and tis and everything. And I was like, just, you know, always having like soda or like, you know, fucking... Soda. Jimmy John's Italian nightclub. Just all this shit, right?

like random stuff like random cookies from the break room you know so we go record and get all the air built up and everything you know talking then I would just always always have some burps and there wasn't like the belches you know he always do this yeah just go right in the middle of i was talking and they would just go burpy boy right and then he then it just started he just been like i love you just what we do and then now whoa and that's that's the origin the origin story of burp you like a Marvel movie. Burpee boy. Burpee boy.

Come in this March. March. What is that? That would be a terrible terrible months to have a movie release. Yeah, damn. They're all in the summer, right? Summer or Christmas.

That's exactly what I was about to say. I was like, if you're not releasing your movie, May to July or December, probably don't want to see it. Going right to the movie. video. I always felt bad for movies that would like be like they'd just release like at Blockbuster growing up and shit.

Yeah, yeah. String the DVD. I'd be like, yeah. It's too bad. Didn't make the cut for the old theater. Dude, like a movie that gets released only January 19th.

What the fuck? You guys have pretty low expectations for that one, I hope. When I was growing up, that was the time I went to the movies though. That's all I remember. I never went to the like. movie theater when it was hot outside.

It was always cold as fuck. And I was getting dropped off or picked up. Oh, man. See, not yet. I mean, I get it. But summertime, that is, that's, that's huge movie. That's when all the ships, like you said,

it's when all the ship's coming out. Right. But dude. The superhero movies and fucking hangovers and everything. I would get hype about air conditioning at the movie theater. Yeah, it felt so nice.

Why was it so much better in air conditioning at your house? It's like, you know, a Tuesday during the day and it's summertime and you have some free time. You go with a girl air conditioning. That goes hard. Never did that. You get out from the 97 degree heat. Yeah, man. And even like going to a movie on like a summer night, you know.

Oh, stop. Either like you go when it, you go at like you get there like 740 for like an eight o'clock movie and it's still pretty, it's still pretty light out. But like it's starting to get that nice summertime sunset getting ready to go. 20 minutes early. hell are you? Well, yeah. I like to get snacks. I got to get the,

I got to get the butter and the popcorn, you know, with the fucking straw method that you put it through there. So it gets down to the bottom. So all of it gets butter. So much popcorn. Get some snacks. You want to get settled in your seat.

You want to see all the previews? I think that's kind of like a lost art is watching previews. Really? Yeah. Why? I saw something that was like, if you're early enough to a movie

that you can see the previews, something, something, something. And I was like, people aren't watching previews anymore. This shit's better than the movie. Yeah, exactly. But there always is one preview that you're like. Yeah, let's just get this. It's like an old historic one.

You're like, what the fuck? Why is this in the preview deck? Yeah, yeah. You can tell from like just the opening scene, like somebody is like dressing a really big woolly mammoth fur coat and like really long beard. Someone has a rifle. You're like, God damn it.

There's a train. You're like, oh, here we go. One of these. Someone has a monocle. Sit through this two and a half minutes here. Who's ever? I don't think ever anyone, anyone in the world

has ever seen those movies. They're always out, man. That's always a preview. Old ass stupid movies. Who am I to say? What kind of country to be? I hate that shit.

You look at your dad and he's just like, oh, I want to see that. I'm always looking at people during previews and they're never reacting to me. What do you? Like I've never. I've never made eye contact with somebody during a preview and gone like this with somebody.

You know, they're always like, shh. I'm like, you don't like this shit. I know what you like. We're going to see the same movie. No one's ever agreed or disagreed with me during a preview. I was like, come on, dog. Oh, man, my dad is the king of every fucking preview. Ooh.

You always do. I think I want to see that. You never see it. Never would ever, dude. It could be the best movie. It could be fucking Titanic. Nick and I'd be like totally forgets that it even exists after that trailer. Like after they go into the next trailer.

Don't think of it once after the movie. You're never like, oh, what was that preview called though? No one said that in the history of movie theaters. Unless you see the poster on the way out. It's like, oh, that one. Yeah. That's the one that I said. Yeah.

Like, Dad, you said every single one of them. You want to see them all. On the way in, when you see like a movie theater preview, you're like, I wonder what that is. They never fucking show it. Yeah. In the previews. You're like, what is that one with Will Smith?

You go in the theater and you're like, where was that? Dude, but I love those movie posters that like aren't busy where it's just, you know, it usually has to be like a like a franchise-type movie, like a Star Wars or something, where they're probably like almost a year out from it releasing, but the poster will be up. And it'll have like just like one hand or something with like a lightsaber. And it's just like December 2020, whatever. You're like, no way. It's really happening.

Because movies are so exciting, you ever sneak anything into a movie theater? Oh, every time. Like you go every day. If you're not, if you're not, if you're not, oh,

every fucking time I've ever gone to the goddamn movie. You kidding me? Three years old. Dude, if you're not sneaking shit into the movie, are you even going to the movie? That's another part of the rules. That's another part of the process.

You got to go to the dollar store. I pay for the shit at the dollar store. put it in you make sure your girl or your mom or whoever brings their fucking bag hey come on we got what are you sneaking in usually go with you know you got to have because you're getting popcorn at the theater and you're getting a soda at the theater so then usually you got to have some sort of gummy sour and then some sort of chocolate because you have the chocolate that offsets the you have the chocolate that offsets the buttery popcorn salty popcorn so you're savory and you're sweet and then you just have the nice little you know uh blue sour patch kids on the side

you got like a you got a whole method yeah dude i always need something when i'm in the movie theater i'm like i'm watching the movie i got the pop i got all my shit but then i'm like nah i got a pee you know yeah they can never like you're bad about piss and you always have to piss at the wrong fucking time man we went saw joker together me and ben and uh wife and I'm pretty sure been pissed probably three times at least. I don't like being uncomfortable. I was like,

this would be perfect if I didn't have to pee. Yeah, it does creep into your head and then that's all you can think about it's like, fuck, I really have to pee. And I'm like, I can get this over with quick. Yeah, I'll like, I'll, can't miss anything that big, right? Fucking, fucking biggest twist ever.

Kills the guy in the fucking talk show. You go pee, like, that's your character. just go pee at the biggest moment of every movie without even like realizing it. Six cents. I see dead people. It's just fucking leg up pissing.

And then you get back and you're like, did I miss anything? Like they're gonna fucking tell you. All right. So this is what happened when you're gone. Can you imagine? The biggest moment of the movie happened. And they like say the whole plot and shit.

I'd be like, shh. Then the movie's over. Have I talked about that on this podcast when me and my dad went to the movies on Christmas? Oh yeah. Creed. No,

we went. You went to go see Creed and then you just didn't go. What's you guys do on Christmas? Oh, we went to the movies. Oh, wow. What'd you see? No, they don't get that far. They're just like blown away that we did something on Christmas.

Waited in line for 20 minutes. Went back home. He's like, I don't know if that fire that I built went out all the way. I might have to go home. I was like, I'm with you. Let's roll. See you. Just thinking about.

that the whole time. Yeah. Dude, I used to have, when I was in, like, high school, I had, like, a real bad bout against movie theaters. Like, I would have some bad anxiety attacks in there. Why? Dude, like, I don't know. It was just, like, dark and it felt like enclosed. I've had a bad situation. And, like, I'm worried about, you know, because for a while, unfortunately, you know, different stuff. It was just like, I didn't know if people were going to, I was always just like, man, someone would come in here and, like, fucking shoot up the police. Like, was that before it actually happened? I don't know, but I was just, like, I had a bed where I just really got to me in my head. And so I'd be like, ah, nah, I'm gonna pass. I'm going to the movies. And if I did, it would be like a battle the whole time. I'd be like, fuck. Like, I don't even remember what I saw because I just be like, just breathe.

Damn, dog. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It was rough. It's not have been a great movie. Well, what happened is I saw paranormal activity too. No shit. you had anxiety during the movie. Yeah, and I legitimately had a full-blown panic attack because that movie got me so bad when I was like 16. Oh.

And then, I love you, Burpee boy. Whoa. You hear that one coming from. Jesus Christ, bro. I didn't even try to cover that one up.

Ribity rib over here. Rivit. Me and the hiriness out by the pond on the summer night. Budweiser. frogs. These guys podcast. Yeah,

paranormal activity too got me bad, man. I wasn't even there with a girl. It was me and Colin Hartman. Oh, that'd be fun. It was,

but until it wasn't. But it's like, was he like freaked out too? Oh, yeah, we were both like, bro, whoa,

like we were, uh, why'd you guys even go? It was just just on some random shit. It was just like high school random shit. You guys are the highest shit.

or something. No, I swear to God I wasn't because my girlfriend at the time, yeah, we like went over to her house afterwards and I was kind of like coming down for my panic attack and we got there and we were telling the story and her mom was like you know

how that usually happens, right? And like she was inferring that I was, you know, high and I was like, I'm not. Like I... I'm not, but do you have any chips? Could really go over some of her. It was red now. But it was just random high school shit, man.

We were like, let's go see that movie. That looks pretty wild, you know. And it was like around Halloween time. And about a boom, panic attack. Oh. Got my ass. Dude, one time my people, I was with my sister and my cousins. We were going to see some stupid ass movie.

They sit down. I'm doing something. I was probably going to the bathroom. Yeah. It's before the movie starts. They sit like in the middle somewhere. And I'm like, I'll meet you guys in there. Send me a seat.

And I know I'm going to sit on the edge by some weirdo because they would never give me a good seat. So I'm like, fuck it, I don't care. So I go in there, all the lights are off. Bro, I never find them. You couldn't even see with the screen? No, because they were fucking with me. And they're like, don't, don't like.

Yeah. And I like it. That is funny. But at the time, I was just like, holy fuck. Did you start panicking? Oh, yeah. I was like, I was just cause I sat on a step. all the lights are off

and I was like man they're fucking damn they got me you know you don't remember oh you never I never saw them go in I was like I'll just meet them in there I'll see they're you know it's not gonna be like full going there there's a million people all the lights are off I'm like dude for like 20 minutes I was like

checking down every row and stuff like probably in everybody's way I was like excuse me excuse me excuse me did like four down and backs never found him literally sat on a step the whole time And at the end of the movie, I was like, and they go, where were you? I was like, I know you fucking saw me.

That's rough. That's, that's, that's, uh, so now every time I go to a movie, I'm like, yo, we're going at the same time, right? Right. Don't leave me hanging. Don't, don't, don't. Yeah. What about those movie theaters that serve alcohol?

You pro? Not really. Can't booze it up during a movie. Booze hounds. Ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro ro. No, not really, man, because I, like, I want to, I'm going to the movies to be locked into a movie that I really want to see. Right. It is kind of like. I'm not like sitting here. And like, you can't just be like a glass of wine.

A glass of wine? Or cocktail. Less a wine? You can't over a glass of wine or cocktail will be like conversing to the person next to you during the movie. You're sipping a little watching Batman or something. Also, like there's nothing better than like an ice cold Coke with your snacks from a movie theater while you're, while you're watching them. It's just. I'm like a fucking vodka red bowl. Yeah, I'm not trying to party here.

What the hell's going on? Trying to sit my ass down. Burby boy. I love you. Burby, my, this big ass coffee, you're running through me.

I got a biss. Yeah, no. I've drank like 14 today. I know. I don't know. You're still sitting here. I don't know either.

Probably about that time. Yeah, it is. These guys 17. 17. Like, like St. Patty's Day.

March 17. I will never remember that. Remember, subscribe, like, follow, listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye.