THESE GUYS! - MORATORIUM week

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

this week the burpy boys talked about the birth of Johnson and Schmitty🎟️ JOEY'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 August 2 Funny Bone Columbus, OH https://columbus.funnybone.com/ShowDetails/6aa0d170-e551-4d0c-a881-92eb3b89c546/835a5551-0c03-4271-9a36-6bce765bcde3/Joey_Mulinaro/Columbus_Funny_BoneAugust 17 Summit City Comedy Club, Ft Wayne IN https://www.summitcitycomedy.com/shows/226147August 22 Funny Bone Cinncinatti, OH (Liberty Township) https://liberty.funnybone.com/ShowDetails/9e7eb241-c7bf-45a4-8df7-1c69bb02b735/987f9f60-a853-44e8-b653-85e0e9d2b295/Joey_Mulinaro/Liberty_Funny_Bone🔺𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/products/these-guys-hoodie-1?variant=41218692775993

I think I might have it. Have what? Have myself another. I can't remember anything. He's like a gnat. No, he just didn't want to. I know. He hates it.

He hates it. Talking about me? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't want you to get in your head. That's why I hold the flip. In my head. Oh.

Me getting my head. Come on. It's like he knows policing. Can't get in your head if you're always in your head. TG. 42. Didn't make sense. These guys 42.

These guys. Hey, Columbus, Ohio, August 2nd. Coming up, going to be at Funny Bone there in Columbus, Ohio. Oh, August 17th. We're going to Summit City Comedy Club in Fort Wayne, Indiana. A few days later, August 22nd, Liberty Township, just outside of Cincinnati. The nasty natty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you take a little bit of a break, but those are the three ones coming up here in August. Tickets are on sale. at my website, official Joey Mollinaro.com. Also in my bio, of course, the description of the shows. You know where to find them. Come get them. They're like 20 bucks, 20 to 25. So, you know, it's not breaking a hole in the wallet, burning a hole in the wallet. But it'll kiss you there. That's right. Exactly. Yep. So we got emails today, dude. We got a lot of emails. I know. Should we probably start off with that? Because we got so many. We got a really good amount.

Like they kept pouring in You said it's gonna be the longest week of your life or something Let's talk about that Oh well I just feel like Not for us because we do stupid shit But for you know like people who listen to this I feel like for them It's gonna be so long because last week was a holiday week

What a shit show Right so Monday a lot of people were off Tuesday everybody was off Wednesday some people were like Well I saved that I'm gonna take that off you know And then it's like Wednesday even if you were back to work It felt like a Monday. What was going on on Wednesday? I was like, are we doing it?

I stepped outside at like 9 o'clock and I was like, are we open? So weird. It felt like Monday. It felt like Monday until Friday. Nobody's, it felt like the period of time between Christmas and New Year's where you're like, ah. So you was just all fucked. So now this week, you're going clean slate.

Monday is a Monday. Tuesday is a Tuesday. You got the full week. And you got no major sports. This is Espies week. This is moratorium week for sports. This is my favorite week. on like sports channels because all they do is they talk about like so what's your favorite

movie they got to get yeah top five baseball movies and you can't save the sad lot dude radio guys talking about anything but sports it's like the craziest shit to me he wants all the smoke i'm like all right can't listen to that anymore uh-huh yeah so somebody's a nerd no sports no sports because sports are my life. So yeah, tough week for those fellas. But it is weird. But you got us. Because, you know, I mean, you got the All-Star break,

like Major League Baseball's All-Star game. Who knew? Who knew? Who knew? Who knew that was happening? I'm run derby last night. That was last night? Well, when people hear this, it'll be last night. Oh, shit. Oh, really?

Yeah. Are you watching? My pal Justin Steele is a starter for the National League, though. What do they? I haven't watched Justin Steele. Yeah. Who's he play for? The Cubs.

Oh, I thought you were going to say that. Okay, never mind. We're going to go crazy there, but what are they doing now in the home run derby? Because the last time I watched was literally when Sammy Soso was in it. No, we watched that random year like six years ago. Remember at 609? We had it on while we were bullshitting over some video or something. And then afterwards we got high because it was, yeah, it was, they played the celebrity

softball game after that. Bring the fence in 84,000 yards. That's so weird. It's like right after the infield. Yeah. And then the announcer just losing his shit. That was the best. That was weird.

But what are they knocking out of the, like, wasn't like in the heyday of like home run derby? Wasn't it like 30 home runs? Oh, steroid era. Yeah, Sammy Sosa would literally hit it like 538 feet. Who doesn't want that? Exactly. Right? Wasn't he like 32 home runs or something?

Dude, I always said, well, this would be a problem because there'd be fans in the outfield and everything. But like I said, screw the people, screw like a little kids who are out there, like, you know, chasing the fly balls and everything, the outs that don't hit them out. Just give these dudes aluminum bats. Oh,

give these big leaguers aluminum bats and just see who can hit it 600 feet. One of those big red plastic ones. Dude, the big barrel, just absolutely going ham. Have any of those kids ever been drilled by baseball? I've been waiting my entire life for that. Hit the damn kid!

That's the only reason people are watching the home run derby. Hit the fucking kid already! I'm like, this is, I mean, the odds are, this is seriously, astronomically impossible that not one of them just been absolutely plunked. That's, hey, yeah, let's just, what'll add to this? What'll add to the home run derby? Just sprinkle 30-10-year-olds in the outfield. Yeah, and have guys on steroids hit balls near them.

What the fuck? No supervision either. Have you ever seen an adult out there? No. There's like one. for an entire district of Little League kids that are all running around out there. Impales a nine-year-old named Tommy.

Whoops! That's Major League Baseball's plan to get a little bit more relevant. We need to save the sport. It ain't for the kids. It's fuck the kids. Hit them with a bat. Aluminum bat. Yo, if that happens this year, though.

Yeah, I've always wondered that. But, yeah, so you got that happening. But then it's Espies Week, weird week. That's like the only thing. Yeah, it's just so like, wow, whatever. Everybody, really, it's like, if you're not on vacation this week, you're fucking up. Vacation. Where are we going to Margaritaville?

The chaos guy. Yeah, it would be good. So that's what I feel for everybody. I do. I feel for everybody. But that's why you got these guys. You've got mail. That's why you got these guys.

And we're here for you. We have been. And you should subscribe to our YouTube channel. These guys on YouTube and watch us and hang. out with us and throw us on your computer screen at work and have your boss walk by and be like, wait a second, is that that that's balding? And you'd be like, yeah, and it'll be fun. Is that the guy that's balding

even though he's balding? And the other guys, are they both? Wait, that guy, yeah. Is that the guy that had a hair transplant, but he's still balding? Wait, he's had two hair. My wife sent it to me and said I should do it, but apparently didn't work for him. Can't wait to get my third. All right. Yeah, you guys really were feeling it on the holiday week. It's Melt.

You've got mail. You've got mail. Team these guys at gmail.com and dive and into these because there was quite a few of them. So I want to make sure we get to them here at the start. This is from Jack. This is up, guys. Big Steelers and F-Bo Island fan. Whoa. Watch y'all since early 2020.

Listen to these guys since episode one, not on Stitcher. Sorry. Love you guys. Delete it. Trying to plan a honeymoon and I'm curious what your dream destination trip honeymoon ideas are or just any funny vacation stories you all may have. Thanks for the help. Oh, Joey, I bet those Cincinnati firemen didn't expect to see Schmitty in there. Wildest dreams.

Oh, God. Put an apple in my mouth and spank me sideways, Jack. Hell yeah. What an email. Starting us off. Top to buy. I'm very, very great. Planning a honeymoon.

All right. Curious dream destination trip honeymoon. Okay, well, I have been on my honeymoon. And I got to say, for me, it really was a dream trip because we started it off. by going to Pittsburgh. I'm going to kill you, dude. I'm going to fucking kill you, bro. We got married and sent to

and then we went to Chicago. And we camped out in the center field on the foamy grass of Wrigleyfield. No. We took the Death Star over to... No, dude, we take the Millennium Falcon. Oh, my bad, my bad, my, that would be hard, though. So we...

Jump to jump to hyperspace. No, but we went to Pittsburgh. we got married in September. We waited until the first week of November because we went to Pittsburgh for the whole weekend because the Colts and Steelers were playing. And it just so happened to be that the Colts were playing there, right? It wasn't because we were going because of the Colts were playing.

Obviously, we were going to the Steelers game and the Colts just so happened to do that. So we get into Pittsburgh on Friday night, Saturday, spend the whole day there, Sunday, go to the game. Steelers win and dramatic facts. It's great. Mika Fitzpatrick, 100-yard pick six right in front of us. Poetry in motion and the Airbnb that Rye booked for that.

I'm excited to do this. It was up on, it was up on the, fuck, what is that mountain called? Mount, hold on. You know, when they show, you know, we just got a hotel. You know, they show like on Sunday, anytime the Steelers are playing, they show the camera shot. They show the camera shot from up on the, like, where the, tram goes down.

Tram the bridge? I don't know. I only remember the bridge every time they show it. All right. I'm just going to look it up. So it was in the mountains? It was right across the river. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's it called? The Mount Washington incline. So Mount Washington incline, you know that cart that's going down and they'll show it and it's across the river. So it was on Mount Washington and she booked it on that side of Mount Washington.

So literally from our kitchen in our living area on the Airbnb, you looked out the window, you could see Heinzfield. Jesus, what did you do? It was incredible. We had morning coffee out there and just overlooked the entire city. You would look right down into Heinzfield. I would have done so many things up there with that view. So it was...

Do you at least have a cigarette or something? Yeah, finally she's asleep. So we did that for the whole weekend. We did that for the whole weekend. It was awesome. Perfect like November 3rd. crisp weather, sun out, but like cold. So it was great. Oh, dude, hoodie the entire time, right? Hoodie weather. Hoodie honeymoon? Yeah. So we did that. We came back to Indy after the game,

woke up the next morning, flew to Disney World. God dang. That is awesome. Okay, I do remember when you were in Disney World for that. That was ours. So it was like, well, I'll tell you, Jack, is what worked out for us is that we got a little bit of both of us, right? Like, obviously for me, the Steelers in Pittsburgh was huge. But my wife is a huge Disney gal. She loves Disney. And so she wanted to go to Disney for the honeymoon. So it was like a best of both worlds.

We each got something of our own. And then like we were talking about last week, like I was enjoying Disney. She was enjoying Pittsburgh. Bada boom. You guys made that happen. Yeah, it was great. Would you ever do like an out of country destination?

Italy or something? Yeah. I mean, we just had no money at the time. So, you know, we really had to scrap it together to make that happen. down for some easy shit. Yeah. My honeymoon? Fucking, let's just go to the mall.

Me, you, Dave and Busters. All of Garnet after. Edinburgh outlet for the whole day. Literally just anything like that. Yeah. I mean, we might even do it like five years after we're married too. Oh, for sure. You want to do the honeymoon this week?

No, you can't. All right. We'll just wait. I really enjoyed doing that not going immediately after because it's all such a whirlwind of craziness. I like a low-key. we took our time you know like

we had a month and a half off to be able to like just get back into life and there's like oh we got our honeymoon god that's what we've been married for a month and a half you know it's like if you do it all like boom boom boom leave the reception getting right into the limo to go to the airport then go it's like you're not even breathing did we lock the house you're still drunk

what's happening who's taking all your gifts back too cool yeah I always think about that what happens your goddamn dogs like did you guys even think about the pets insane. Because that's how it was like always back in the day and you know

with grass and movies right you know everybody just like if they're leaving see it just married going right to the airplane to the leave they don't even go to the reception

they walk out of the church to fucking the Bahamas right I would want to go to Italy maybe though yeah that'd be cool on some I've never done this shit before

yeah and I'd probably stay there for like seven hours eat three grapes and leave any funny vacation any funny policey vacation stories um what's the worst vacation i've ever been on i've told my cedar point vacay story on this oh that's a bad one oh i had a bad i had a bad spring break oh where you lost all your shit in the first day first day buy money that's yeah that's a nightmare. Thank God we didn't

like fly because I wouldn't have been able to get on the plane. That's always a panic. Like when you can't find your ID on a trip. What are you supposed to do? Go to the license branch and wherever the hell you are? No. You just what? I don't really know. I mean I guess actually for that. They should just have a license branch at the airport. Yeah. Just print those bitches off.

Yep. Here you go. All right. Like your school ID. I'm actually 6-1. I made my, dude, I finally put my shit. I was finally honest on my ID like two IDs ago. Nice. In high school, though. Boy.

Yeah. It was like I was giving my numbers to like a big 10 school. Yeah, I'm 6, 3, 215. They're like, bro. Yeah. I'm looking at your bald spot right now. You're not taller than me. All right.

Tommy's back with another group debate. Remember Tommy last week with the B-dubs gift card situation. Oh, that was wild. I thought about that like four times after the podcast. I was in the shower and like, Roland was right. Rolling. Rolling with Roland. We were talking about sports one day,

and I mentioned how a certain season a team played was my favorite. My buddy essentially said, quote, you can't have a favorite season of a team because every season should be your favorite. And as a fan, you support the team year in and year out. My argument was you can support the team through the good and bad and also have a favorite season. I'd never heard an argument like this and he was adamant as a fan. You shouldn't have a favorite season for your team. It's easily the most heeded my buddies of seven plus years have gotten. Curious where you guys stand and want to hear who rush this again. Thanks. Tommy Nick and rolling.

I totally agree with you, Tommy. I think that's insane to say that like one particular season that is just like you go on a magical run can't stand out is like, man, that was really memorable and that was fucking awesome. Like that's ridiculous to sit there and be like, nope, clean slate. Like what are you? The coach? I don't know, man.

I think I'm the other way. How? Why? That's just because you don't give a shit about it. You've never had like a feeling of a team going on. to run like that. No, but it's just like, yeah, but you remember, 08? You know, when you say, like, yeah, the Steelers, but you remember 08?

That was the year. Isn't that what they're talking about? Like, that's the season that you like. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Is that like, yes, I root for the Cubs every game and I am a fan of them every year, but like 2015, 2016 was way more memorable, magical than the past three years have been. Yeah. So what's the...

So Tommy is saying that, like, yeah, you have like, oh, man, 2015 was awesome. Like, I'll never forget that year. Yeah. And his buddy is saying that it's like, no, you shouldn't have those. Like every year should be your favorite year and you should wipe a clean slate because it's your favorite team. So every year should be your favorite year. I don't agree with the second part. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. That's good. We're on the same. Exactly. It's nuts. No, I forget. I forget what happened last year.

I forget the best year of my life ever happened. Who was the quarterback? That's so, yeah, that's insane, bro. That's like some, like, what do you think you are? The fucking coach? No, no, man. We got a clean slate here. Nothing, nobody cares about what happened last year.

That's the part about being a fan. That's what you're supposed to do. I hated that shit when coaches would do that. You'd be up like 24-0-0. Coach would come into the locker room. Zero, zero, boys, new game. I was like, bro, we're up 24. We're fucking these dudes up.

Like, let's go, man. We got momentum and shit. It's not zero-zero. come in and just be like, hey, keep fucking them up. And then you're like, yeah. Totally coach. I love a coach like that that does not care. Yeah, zero, zero.

You're like, so what did nothing we did in the first half mattered? That's the worst. Yeah, no, I'm with the seasons, man. I only remember good seasons. Exactly. The seasons that suck, I'm like, yeah, I'm deleting that from my brain. And that's the part, that's the best part of being a fan is you're like, ah. No pressure.

We'll always have 2015. Remember the good. Oh yeah. Hey, nobody can take that season away from you. Right. No, yeah. We're on the same page there. Except for Nick or Tommy.

This is from Chris. Hey, guys, love the content. My wife and I recently had our first child, so putting her podcasts on the background while I'm helping feed slash change of diapers at 3 a.m. has made the sleepless nights easier. Ooh, sorry for your wife. Jesus Christ.

Hope that's happening in a different room. There seems to be a lot of food talk on the pod. So my question for you, has to do with food. You can only eat at three food chains to the rest of your life. Who's your three? Thanks. Chris from Omaha, Nebraska. Damn, I mean, what tier are we talking? We talking fast? We're talking fast cash? Just abbreviate everything. He didn't say. He just said food chains. Uh, he's probably talking about, man, I don't know, but probably Chipotle would be in there for me. Okay. One of three. Damn, it's the only place.

I think he got to break it down like this. I think you got to break it down breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Oh, no. Be, boy. Whoa. All right, all right. If you get three,

then it would make sense that if the rest of your life, you're like, okay, well, hey, I got my breakfast spot, and I got my lunch spot, and I got my dinner spot. I think I know what I got and it's not like that.

But I want to hear yours. All right. Chipotle. Okay. We're going there. Starbucks. Yep. We're locking that in.

And just on some freaky shit, I can live off two. For my bonus, three, playing with house money here. Go on Taco Bell. Oh, yeah, a little spice in your life. Fucking, let's do it. A lot of Mexican in there. A little late night snack. Yeah.

A little craziness. Dude, the other night, Rye looks at me. It was like 9 o'clock. She was like, we were already, Frank was down. We were already in bed. She was like, I really could go for some Taco Bell. That's insane. I was like, wow.

What a statement. I was like, we were watching a show that we like, kid was already down. I was like, never been happier. Order it up. What day was it? That's a good question.

I remember. Is it the day after a 4th of July? It's kind of a crazy. That'd be a good pick. I think it might have been. It was the last week, though. Dude, that's amazing. Sweet.

What a moment. What did you get? I got. Did you go crazy? Nah, I just went chicken cheese cassidia. Mountain Dew and some nachos. cheese. She went crazy. Fire order. She went crazy. She got like the bean dipped burrito and like the five-layered crunchy. You got to go crazy. I've gone to talk about so many times going crazy.

I've eaten two things. And the rest is kind of just like, I don't know. I can't actually. I got, I got the bug out of me. Yeah, I got the bug out of me. All right. I'm with you. I'm going. If we're doing Shane, I'm going to go Starbucks because that's my breakfast coffee. Yeah. Knocked that out. Lunch. I'm going McAllisters. Wild. Nice pick. You got you. a whole gigantic menu. A lot of options. I never get tired of McAllister's. Great soda. Love the pickles. Love the pick two for lunch. I'm in there. I'm in there all day. I don't like those either. What's going on? And then dinner, I'm going beat-ups. Holy shit, man. Another one where I don't get tired of the wings and the wedges, but also I do like the wraps. I know they venture around, mess around with like sandwiching.

and burgers. Kind of got the salad game too. Yeah, you got to flip that out. If you're like, okay, I've had four straight days of wings, give me a burger, give me a buffalo chicken sandwich or something. The wraps at beatups are killer.

Raps are great. See, that's big. If you're doing forever, you've got to have options, you know, you got to have a wide menu. So give me Starbucks from Calster's beatups. I got a lot of tortillas in my top three.

But what if you want some dessert? You know, where are we going? We've just going, we got to get cake pops. I think dessert should be its own separate. Wow. So it's like three chains for your main meals, but then you get a dessert one too.

You might be able to get kind of freaky at my cows. I know they have like cool pot. You know, the fall they'll have like pumpkin pie or they'll have like carrot cake. All I need. Carrot cake. Yeah, I'm kind of fucked on dessert,

but you got it. But if I'm doing that, dairy queen because you can't go wrong. Just every other ice cream place. Just quit. Just put up those. just wave the flag. Wave the white flag.

From Ryan. Subject is, hot, hot, hot. I love this fucking guy. Hey, fellas, been watching since day one. I look forward to the episodes each week. I got two questions.

I need your opinion on. What's the best flat soda? Oh my God. The number two, burger versus hot dog. Call me crazy, but I'm going dogs in seven games. Slap my ass in hell.

Yours truly. Dogs in seven. What is? email. Do you, does he know us? That's great. Hot hot,

dude real quick, did you see that video of, I was just, it was on the night before, fourth of July. Yeah, was last week. And I was just messing around

with Frank at my sister's cookout and he was sitting in the grass with a football. And I was like lining up, getting a three point stance. And I was like, Green Eddie! Green Eddie!

And I would like fire off, you know, and do like. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. And then he was dying laughing, dude. Absolutely cackling. Football guy.

So great. Football baby. Best flat soda, I got it for you. And that would be Dr. Pepper. That came to my mind. I didn't know if it was right or wrong. But it was the first thing I thought of. Dr. Pepper has overtaken Coca-Cola as my favorite soda.

Like dry ore. I mean flat ore. Flat out of a can, out of a two-liter fountain. This is kind of the same, but I'd go with any brain. brand of rubier. Any brand of root beer flat, I'm like... A lot of flavor still. Hell yeah.

And root beer and Dr. Pepper kind of like, they're kind of boys. Oh yeah. When they see each other, they're like, what's up, bro? They're at the family reunion.

Yeah. Not even the family reunion. They're just like at Thanksgiving together. Yeah, they're chilling. Maybe it'd gone out the night before. Oh, they're both drunk. Yeah.

Mountain Dew flat can't do it. Yeah, can't do any of the, like, the clears? No. Sprite flat? Nope. You can't you just house some flat sprite though? Only if I,

I've only from like had the stomach flu. You know, you're just having flat spry and like crackers. Yeah, it's basically just seven up. Burger versus hot dog. I'm with you, dude. I'm all hot dog now. Really? I'll down some dogs.

But like if people are like, yep, we're having burgers and this. I'm like, God, I guess I'll choke down another one. But if you're like, you got dogs, I'll be like, yeah, I'll have two with dinner. And then like an hour later, I'll come back before I leave and get another one. Dogs have way more personality. They're way more fun. And just, you can see the toppings, you know what I mean? And just like the way the presentation is with the mustard.

If you get a good mustard drizzle on there, then you add a little bit of ketchup maybe, maybe some peppers. I'd have to go, if I was doing burgers, I'd have to go, I'd have to take the top off, dude. Just so bottom bun? Just face open. Bottom bun, yeah. Okay.

So eat that with a fork and a knife? Oh. You can stand's in it. Oh. It's the only way I'm going burgers if I'm going knife and fork. But you have a hot dog with a bun, right? Yeah, but you're not eating, has anyone ever eaten a hot dog with a knife and fork? That's some insane shit, dude.

Especially like kids. Next year, Joey Chestnut. Especially kids. Put sound 78 of them. Oh, kid. Kids don't even have buns, bro. And I always have the little hot dogs chopped up and dipping it and ketchup up, of course. Macaroni.

Not even doing shit. Lucky piece of shit. Shit. All right. This is from Ryan. What's up, boys? Love the show every week. I want to hear about the worst events to go to with a girlfriend.

Recently had to go to one, and I want to hear yours. Also, I'm a diehard Ravens fan, Joey. So, Ravens fans are Joey and I have beef, even though he does not know it. Ha ha. Just kidding. Keep him coming. Thanks. Hey, those gold pants, though?

Gold pants, 2018. 15? I wish he would have told us which one at what event he went to. He said he just went to one. He didn't say what it was. Oh man Oh I had a

I had a bad Bad time At an apple orchard That's supposed to be like The date spot Oh I know Dude I took a major I took a major hell

At the orchard Uh huh Okay Because I was like I did the thing You're not supposed to do On girlfriend day You threw an apple at the tree

Well that was the second part of it Okay The first big no that I did was, hey, can you film this TikTok real quick? Oh, dude. And then I was like, oh, she was down for that, but loki inside, she was mad. So I was like, oh, I'm getting away with a murder today. And I just threw an apple at the fence as hard as I could.

And I think I threw out my shoulder. I think I tore my rotator cuff and had a really bad, like the TikTok bombed. Yeah. And not a great drive. Well, there's no close apple orchard. The drive home was like, so we getting, no, all right. Every apple orchards, it's 43 minutes away. So no matter what, you're in for a ride.

Yeah, no shit. You know, how do you, how do you pick a song in the car after that? Yeah. Just going to listen to my nose breath, I guess. You just let them, hey, here you go. You hang in the august cars. Do you want to drive? Do you want to ride?

Do you want me get you an Uber? Do you want to fly? And just pulling out of all the stunts, dude. Yeah, that bad apple orchard time. I'd say an NBA game. Not great. Because, like, look, if you're going there because you're a huge fan, you know, then you have to be tame because you don't want to be crazy fan guy in front of a girl on a date. Yeah.

Right? So you have to be, like, kind of tame, you know what I mean? Whatever. But then also, like, you run the risk of, like, an NBA player spot in your girl and, like, you know, maybe them having a little bit. moment. Oh, they're having moments. Especially if, like, the date that you're there with wears high heels to an NBA game, you're done.

Yeah. Not there for the old basketball game. She's not there for you either. So an NBA game's tough. I'd say, like, a festival. I was thinking about that, too. You know, because, like, you kind of are, you're stacked heavy up top, right? It's a front heavy event.

Like, you get there, you get your food. Right. Like your crazy fair food or whatever. And then like you play a couple games or whatever. But then after that, you're kind of like, all right, we only are here for like 40 minutes. I took an hell at the fair too.

You know? And then it's like you're trying to have fun. Yeah, I feel like in that moment you're always trying to overly have fun. So then you're way too fun guy like doing something stupid. And then she's kind of like, uh, you know. This was it for me. She was like,

we should go on those swings. And I was like, y'all, I'm going to throw up on those because they were going wild. Like she wanted to go on all the like the rides that were like thrill. And I'm kind of like, I don't know. Those look those bolts and nuts, look a little loose. Like I was thinking about that.

And the lines were long and I was just like, this is not where I should be right now. But yeah, wasn't a great time. Got a good picture, but I think that saved it, but wasn't a good time. how about just a trip that's like way too soon you know took one of those too uh-huh everybody has i didn't do bad though but then you're really screwed man i mean just because it's like if something goes wrong on the car ride there then you're like then both you start thinking oh shit we got the rest of this car ride and then we got to like get there

and be there for a day and a half for two days that's when you find out if it's real or not And then you really want this relationship? Fucking spend a weekend in Ohio or something. Go to Cedar Point. That's tough, man. Because, like, you got all the, like, you're never in the car for that long when you have a girl. Like, then you take that trip and you're in the car together for like three hours and you're like missing turns. And like you're just fucking up and she's getting mad.

Like, maybe, I don't know. And you're just taking, dude. You're just taking punches. Yeah, everything's ideal until that happens. Right, right. Oh, she does get mad. Okay. Oh shit.

Okay. So she's not that different from the rest of them. Didn't know she liked to eat that when we're at a restaurant. Okay. Must be just like a vacation thing. Didn't know she ate that way. Holy shit, wipe your mouth. Holy.

Okay. Somebody likes crab. Just didn't know that about you. Hey, love you though. Basically what it comes down to, Ryan, is that if you're with the wrong chick, pretty much any event could be terrible. yeah yeah you know

I'm starting to think bro everything I ever did wasn't out have you gone on a good date before yeah there's there's been a handful but I haven't they haven't been like wild events like I went to a Colts game kind of took an L Apple Orchard L

NBA game kind of got in a fight before it but there was like a restaurant that kind of like restaurant date low key quick you know did something cool like that they were working out but like the bigger the event bro the the more I fail. Yeah, the wider the spectrum is

for you to fuck up. This is from Benjamin. One, well, the subject is just fellas. One, I knew that I was squarely in the target demographic of your show when you all talked about NCO6, NCA 06 for a good five minutes. Yep.

Can talk about it for five days. I play that game to this day. You know how chicks spend way too long decorating their college graduation caps. I just printed out the cover of 06 and glued. Shut up. Send a picture. He did.

Dog, that's so hard. Me and you are friends. That's what got you through college. That's a boy. Two, I'm getting married this Saturday, July 8th. After our first two weeks of dating, she asked me to teach her football. We broke down, sorry,

she asked me to teach her football. We broke down game film. Wait, did he type that? No. We broke down game film for three hours. She can identify GT counter and mesh now. Are you serious? I don't know if I'd like that.

Teach me covered two, Daddy. Oh, Tampa 2, Daddy. Way back when y'all did the musty in the morning bit, Joey mentioned that he prayed that somebody out there was riding in the car with another person who hadn't heard the podcast before. That was the exact situation with me and my fiance. Oh, damn.

She's cool. Oh, horrified. Yeah, okay. Yeah, she's normal. P.S. Cleveland sucks. That's from Benjamin. That's hilarious, homie. Great email there.

Love. Email game strong from the... Love all of it. the house, bro. Congrats on getting married. That, you know, I mean, I hope there's some NCAA-6 time. Maybe a little me, myself and I, De La Sol. That was their dance.

At their reception. Just an NCAA-6 wedding theme. Fuck, yeah. Dude, we have an NCAA-6 theme, party. Please. That means so fucking hard. Just one guy walks in. He's just pulsing.

He's in the zone the whole time. Give him the ball! Geez, I don't even know if I can identify GT counter and mesh. I can't. I don't really even know what GT counter is. Well, that did work like one of it every three times. Mesh. Mesh always sounds great.

Some good's happening there. Oh, the one. Some bodies are rubbing, like people are getting picked. Some of the body's going to be open with Mesh. Whenever you got crossers, bro. Somebody's gone for 60 and getting pushed out of bounds. Nobody could have any clue what's going on. If you were just like, Mesh, mesh, mesh, mesh.

the receivers are back Oh okay I generally have an idea And the de coordinator on the other side of the field Sweating Oh fuck they have mesh Well thanks for riding with us Benjamin And hopefully your fiancee soon to be wife Now she knows what the pot is

And we'll understand that bit This is from Matt Subject says huge fan come to Atlanta What up guys smack my ass and grease my nipples Huge fan of the pot I just discovered y'all from the Schmiddy Vids. I've been binging the pot ever since. I'm driving up to Charleston and I plan on listening to the rest of the episodes. I'm almost listened to all of them. Anyways, keep up the good content. Please come to Atlanta if you ever get a chance. Best of luck. Smack my ass again, Matt.

Hell yeah, Matt. All right. Let's see those nippies. Grease my nips. I would love to go to Atlanta. They just had a killer NASCAR race there. ATL. It didn't end great because of rain. But yeah, I've been a few Braves games. Their new park looks sick. all the cool rappers are from there. Right. I always have like a... I'm always like, oh, Atlanta. It's like the home of Chick-fil-A.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Down. Home of Chick-fil-A and Coke. Always dro-the only memory I have in Coke, really? Coca-Cola, not cocaine. Oh, yeah. That's what I was thinking. But every time I drive through Atlanta,

there's so much traffic. But we do stop at a Chick-Fillet. And Chick-Fillay, I think they test shit out in Atlanta. So the first time we ever stopped there was like they had like spicy. chicken sandwiches. And this was like 10 years ago. So it was like the best moment of my life. You were just now. You were

getting the fresh. Yeah, before anybody else got I was like, yo, what? What? They had different shakes and shit. Man, the yeah, the spicy chicken sandwich with some ranch. Crazy. And the best shake I think ever number one is

cookies and cream chick filet. I know all we talk about is food, but like that just needs to be out there. There's no shake being that. I agree. From Liz, title, Johnson. I live for TG Tuesdays. More Molinaro minutes. Mollinard.

Love the burby boys. Keep up the fire pods, hugs and tisses. Wait, that's true. That was nice, Liz. Liz. Oh, dude, yes. That was very kind. Appreciate that.

We will. And like I said, Molinard. So, Molinard minutes. Can we get a minute out of you? From, this is wild. From chef boy or Z. Slop my ass. And it just says, come on boo, give me tis.

And, uh, wait a second. No, did he send a video? Whoops. Come on. Give me tis. Did you see? Yeah. It's a rotisserie chicken.

Oh! We got to put, we got to, we got to put this on the video, bro. That's crazy. Oh, that's, that's insane. Come on boo. Give me tis. Wait, his, uh, his signature on his email goes hard too. knows what's going on.

Chef Boyer Z. Somebody knows Adobe audition and premiere. Says Head Chef, Chef Boyer Z shop coming soon. Tight. Can't wait. I just took down a TIS before this, before we got in here.

Good for you. I took down two granola bars. Okay. Chewy? You chewy gang? Yeah, chewy. Chewy. Chooey chocolate and one was peanut butter.

That peanut butter one can get it. That should be a candy bar. Okay. We got a, get a long one here from Matt. Melty. What up guys? A big time listener had to write in. Love how the pod feels like the boys and I hang in the garage. Not coming back bruise and talking about everything and nothing all at once. These guys makes my morning commute. Thanks, dude. Saw Taylor Swift on the opening night here at State Farm Stadium and Glendale. She opened with Are You Ready for it? Electric Factory. What a concert. I can only compare it to when I went to the 2017 in a wild card game, except everyone was all in and the concession lines are a lot shorter. Swifties love Swift but not beer as much. Which means. So concession lines were long there? Yeah.

A running joke with my buddy is wearing random player jerseys on nights out. Yeah. I'm a big baseball guy and Red Sox fans, so I have a few. Tim Wakefield, legend knuckleballer. You remember him? Uh-uh. Yeah. John Lackey, pissed off, mediocre and eating chicken and drinking beer in the clubhouse. John Lackey, yeah, who's on the 2016 Cubs.

Oh, yeah. He was, I called him the cocaine cowboy. Dustin Padroia, scrappy and clutch on offense and defense. and Rodinette Adore, the famous punch. I can never pronounce that guy's first name. They always get laughs at parties and at the bar with sports crowds. What are some football and baseball jerseys that you guys have or would rock purely because the name on the back will get a laugh or a fist bump.

Slapped my ass while I squeal like a pig. Matt. Wee, we, we, we, we, we, we, we. God, I love it. I love the pig squad. I love the Stai. Send it and emails. Those are our fans from now on.

We just call them the pig sty. Dude Emails from the sty Dude I have so much pig shit Coming up on my TikTok now Because all we talk about our pigs Yeah dude I just watch this guy

Trap wild boars for like seven days Nice That's all I watch That's like that'd be a good workout No no he just like sets a Sets like a circular fence up Oh he dump so much a cereal in the middle All these like wild hogs

That are like disrupting his farm Like eating his crops Like really doing some dance image go in there, start eating the Captain Crunch. All the gates drop and they're just like 15 pigs trapped until the morning. Whoops. I'm like, you watch this all day. Well, who's not chasing cereal out in the middle like that?

No shit. He trapped me in there the next day. Oh, shit. Drop three boxes of Captain Crunch and two cinnamon toast crunch. Ooh-hoo. No shit, man. Jerseys like that that are fun. All of them.

Yeah, I mean, baseball is a fun one to do for me. like especially you know like a if there was like a Jim Edmunds Cubs you know because like he's like just known as a Cardinals player but he did play for the Cubs for a while I love that Kenny Lofton Cubs Love a Brett Farrv Jets Oh God yeah anything yeah obviously I mean a Brett Favv Vikings

Brett Fav Jets just nothing normal one time uh this kid at a party had a Calvin Johnson Lions jersey on but they messed it up and it said C. Johnson on the back upside down, bought it off of them for $100. Upside down? That shit went so, that's what I'm into, dude. Yeah, that is dope. I'm like, I'll take it. Uh-huh. I almost wore this today. It's crazy. I'm so shitty. I didn't because of this, but Tony Kukoch, Bulls, just like the guy that's not the star player. Yeah.

Just give me the six man off the bench. Yeah, like if you're wearing an Andre Johnson jersey, it had to be, uh, Andre Johnson Colts jersey. So weird, but yeah. Akeem Nix, Colts jersey. You know all about that. Hakeem Nix. What could have been? Randy Moss 49ers or Raiders.

Titans. Randy Moss Titans. Can you imagine? Weird. I'd be scared to ask a guy wearing that. I'd be like, do you know that that, did you just like need a shirt for today? And you like bought one real quick at like some weird outlet or like. Donovan McNabb Vikings.

Redskins. he was on the Vikings yeah for like a year dude shack any team in the NBA because he was on all of them shack raptors you're like wait you could make somebody think with that bro

shack cabs huh oh god that was brutal Celtics Celtics they call himself like the big lepricon played like three games I swear there's 17 more teams Shaq Pacers Shaq Sons

that was real that was real Shack Bucks That was a... Dude, you gotta think about it dude, you really do. Shack magic. Oh yeah.

Oh damn, I thought I was gonna get you. I thought you were gonna be like, wait. Magic Lakers, heat, sons, calves, Celtics. There's gotta be one more, bro. Maybe. All right, from Brady. Subject is just cheese. Come on.

Fellas, love the show. It's the first thing I listened to every Tuesday. Been listening since day one. Many months ago. I still remember Ben promoting an espresso leading up to the birth of the clubhouse. Oh.

I was wondering how the Johnson and Schmitty bits started. I was figured it was based on you guys met at your desk jobs, but I wanted to hear it from Johnson and Schmitty themselves. Appreciate the read and keep up the good vibes. It makes our day. Cook me like a tiss and spank me while I'm hot. Braves. And you guys keep one up in each other with the signature sign-off.

The birth of Johnson and Schmitty. So we did a video probably four years ago now, four or five years ago. and it was based on office conversation that we had overheard and kind of ran into. So you're right in a way. We didn't ever work at like desk jobs together, but we worked a radio station that it was also like a media company or whatever. And so there was just like your typical office shit. So we were like encountering people like me and Joe would be at the same office like maybe for an hour like every day.

and we'd cross paths. It was people that were just like, dude, are you kidding me right now? Right. This is really what you're talking about? Right. So we did it and they didn't even have names yet. We just did it as like,

I can't remember what the title of the video. It was like, office when it rains or something like that. I think it was just all conversations in the office combos or something like that. And it was the same pattern, like the same basis, way less puns.

came about once we created the characters, but the first one, it was just like the most excruciating coffee stop conversation that everybody has about, you know, not doing anything over the weekend or, you know, needing, you know. The weather. Yeah. My lawn is like, hey, hey, I need some water. That was a big one. And so then that one, like, really, that was one of the first, you know, I mean, it really like took off.

and people really gravitated towards it. So then from there, we were just like, who are these guys? Like, who are these guys? And that's where... You just go, you just go, dude, Johnson. And I was like, you sure? And you're like, no question, bro.

Johnson. Because every, like, the more I was around it and the more I just kind of like absurd, it was like, it's always the guys who go by their last fucking name. Yep. Right? There's always a shmitty.

It's never Zach and Kyle. Nah. it's always Davis and Johannesburg. Like, you know, it's always that guy. Like, oh, uh, Bainey. And you're like, no, that's not. Yeah, like, yeah, it's a guy that's just strictly last name guy. Right.

Andrews might not even have a first name. What's Johnson's first name, bro? I don't think I don't ever talk about it. That's the thing is he, we don't know because he just strictly is just Johnson. You know? And so then after that, it was just like, all right. well, what's the counterpart to that? And I was like, okay, well, if you don't have a, if you don't have the dude who's a counterpart, if the first one isn't a E last name, then the second one obviously has to be.

Yeah. And so we came up with Schmitty because it's like, everybody knows a Schmitty. Yeah. For no reason. That's not his last name. His last name, Schmidt or, or Smith or whatever. Why Smith goes to Schmitty? What is that? There's no, you just add a C in an age? Yeah. I can't. but that's why it's so annoying and fun but that first video that we did what was just about like you know in the break room or whatever

we tried to make it so you know Joey would say something I would say something back and it was supposed to be like in our head we'd have dialogue yeah like God this guy won't shut the hell up and then I'd say something to Joey and Joey'd be like this guy's a fucking moron like that's how we were planning it

but the in your head dialogue like just took too long or it was just like I don't know what we're doing here and I kind of like chopped it up to get it ready and I was like bro this is funny as hell without it I remember dying laughing just by mistake at like 4 a.m. Right.

Yeah because like the flow of it got messed up because we would have to have held it on us for too long to have the inner dialogue and then a lot of people would have been nerdy shit. Yeah a lot of people would have been like you know wait what so he's no you know just we're throwing people off so

we just went with the raw and they're all worked out. God damn. And then we ended up doing, we did a version of that, like a few years later, didn't do as well. Elevator?

No, it was, it was at my old apartment. It was where it was like, what you're really thinking. Oh. And it was pretty similar to that. Yeah,

okay. Yeah, it didn't do. Yeah, it didn't do. Yeah, it didn't do what we thought it would. Um,

but then the Johnson and Schmitty, like the puns, it just became like, like, once we built those characters, it was like, all right, Johnson, like, was in a frat at IU. Like, you know, he works this job and, like, he just lives straight up for happy hour

and, like, seeing the fellas on Thursdays and then on the weekends and, like, is always trying to get a beer even if it's lunchtime at the office. Like, where's an IU polo every day and khaki? Like, we built out these characters of like, this is who it is and this is why they're like this. And that's how Johnson and the committee came to be, man. and now when you see him on 4th of July or Christmas or... Always trying to party, dude.

It was the... When we were in lockdown or whatever, the coronavirus video, when we... That was... That one started the puns because it was like, you know... Yeah, it's a sad time right now. Yeah.

Oh, why is that? I can't remember either. Yeah. I think it might have it. Have what? myself another. That kind of started the whole like raising up a beer. Yeah.

And then it was like football season. I'll take, I'll go for two. Right. And we always like obviously, you know, that's what's funny is like a lot of people I think don't realize. Obviously they don't get the show,

right? And so sometimes you're like, yes, we know that that, but that's the point of this bit in these characters. And so like we always, at least for me, Yeah, like, I think there was a conversation at one point with they're like, but like, how would you introduce like the different beers, you know, if they're not there, you know, and then I think we were just kind of like, it's honestly funnier if like they just pull them out of nowhere.

Yeah. Like there's always kind of. How did he have that? Right. Like if he has like two six packs, right? And like didn't have the scene before and now he's lifting up two six packs. Like that's fucking funny, you know. Just so much booze, bro.

And just like all that shit. I mean. still waiting for like one of these beer companies to call us for a Super Bowl commercial No shit man We went strictly Bud Light one time Yeah because we were like maybe Maybe we'll notice

So that would be That's that's the end goal I'd say if some people Ask me they're like what's the end goal What's the dream? It's like if we can get a Johnson and Schmitty beer Super Bowl commercial Oh my God

Because like we know it's not Like you know those guys Everybody knows two guys that are like, oh my God, this guy, this guy. Right. The guy that's always just like, here's trouble. Like that happens in real life. Like, don't tell me it doesn't because it fucking does. Yeah.

That's those guys. That's these guys. That's the origin of these guys. That's a wild, dude. That's a good question, Brady. Yeah. Taking you back. All right.

Anything else? I think that's these guys. I'm sweating in here, man. It's hot as fuck. All right. Remember to subscribe to us. on YouTube. Let's keep pumping those numbers. Growing the clubhouse, growing the pigsty. Right of review. Right. Review. Yep. Give us some stars. Keep seeing those. Love those.

Team these guys at gmail.com. Send us an email. Obviously, we'll read them off and you'd be part of the show and we'll have fun with it. We appreciate it. We love you guys. We appreciate you. Tickets for my shows coming up, Columbus, Ohio, August 2nd, Fort Wayne, Indiana, August 17th, Liberty Township, Cincinnati, August 22nd. Then there's more coming up. but those are just obviously here forefront. Those are available. Official Joey Molenaro.com. Also in my bios in the description of this show, Ben, anything else? No, I just slap my ass and grease my nipples. Wee, we, we, these guys.

All right. See you guys. Bye. Longest week ever, you'll get through it. All right, let me. Bye.