THESE GUYS! - Never Gonna Stop Burping

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

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There'd be one kid that was really good in his stance. Yeah, dude. There's Andrews. There we go, Andrews. Andrews isn't even Blakin. Yeah. Because they're like getting in space. Everybody else.

Yeah. Hey, you're going to have defense's line. Right. Right. Yeah, dog, but what are you doing for me? Nothing. That's a name of the game out here. What have you done for me lately?

It's not what have you done? It's what have you done for me lately. TG 32, these guys What's up, bro? Not shit, man. Nice jersey. Thanks. Naptown Thrift.

Yeah. True in the area. Yeah. Where are they getting this stuff? I don't know. We don't know. But it's good. Hey, Boston.

See you Thursday. Can't wait. Wicked. Laugh Boston. Yeah, it's going to be a great show. I can't wait to see you guys. Tickets in the description. You already know.

Joey? Ben Politzie. Wicked. Wicked. Hot bin Politi Wicked funny So scared of Boston people Yeah the Bruins just lost too

So everybody's gonna be pissed Had no clue but even more scared Yeah you may actually fulfill your dream of everybody Throw a donut at you because They're gonna be They're pissed man So you got a lot of

I mean not to put too much pressure on you But like you gotta make these people laugh On Thursday No they're not going to Either way Dude I could be I could be fucking Cat Williams

Jerry Seinfeld they'd be like, when's this shit over? Night with Joe Mullenero, we're in show month. We're in the show month. May 25th, Thursday, May 25th, we are, we're diving headfirst into race weekend with some, with some laughter, with some, with some combos, with some cars with some cocktails, booze.

We're just all going to be booze hounds at the Vogue. Yum, yum, yum. Solid noise. Get your tickets. Willie Griswold opened and things. things up. He's going to be there. DJ Seabuck's going to be there. I think one of our friends, Indiana and legend, Clayton Anderson, is going to be there. No way. Yeah. I'm got, I'm wet already. Yeah. So it's going to be awesome. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be awesome.

It's going to be awesome show. So give you tickets in the description in my bio. Please see you there. Yeah. TG 32. I was Tampa. I was there for like seven hours, but it was the best seven hours of my life. It looked, it looked litty. It was so litty. It was in a theater. I was like, okay, doing these. Oh, nice, dude. It was fun.

Dude, there's chickens everywhere. Just loose chickens. And Tampa? Yeah. Like on the streets? Yeah, like I went to go walk around. Like, we had like four hours to kill and I was like, I'm just going to go see what's going on outside. Dude, there's like, instead of homeless people, it was like chickens.

So you're moving there like tomorrow. I'll be there. Or do they just do that for you because you were coming to town. It's so weird. You know that your big. Tis Tis boy. Everywhere. I was like, you guys just wait,

wait till we get you in the bag. Just bagging these boys up. They were great-looking chickens, too. Yeah. I was like, wow, these are kind of hot. But then we did the show and then, dude, dream scenario. Do a show, feel good about it.

Good. Like my mom was there and stuff. Oh, nice. Got people coming out, like indie people that moved to Tampa. They all came through. It was like, oh, my God. Talk to everybody after. They sold some merch.

Had a great time. Good. Went back to the hotel. Last part of the draft. Like last five picks? Yeah, dude. That's awesome. And like,

uh, the, like, I wanted like a little glass of wine or something. Just like, you know, just at the night. The bar was closed at the hotel

and I was like, you know, it was probably a good thing, you know? Let's just, yeah. Just end the night. And but they had like complimentary wine in the room.

So you just said, putting it on the tab. Pick 27. Oh, that's great, man. What's up? That? That's ideal. I was going to ask, yeah, I felt bad.

I mean, not really because I know you don't really give a fuck. But at the same time, I was like, man, it's tough that Ben's got to like miss the draft. Like of all the sporting events on the calendar. That is my like, the first round of the NFL draft, that's like, it's a big thing for you. It's a big thing for us. You know, so I was like, I was trying to like telekinesis, you know, kind of force face time with you when I was watching the first round. And I knew you were on stage. you know, I was trying to, like, give some of that energy to you.

No, I felt it, dude. Really? I got so many texts on my phone. Like, I looked at my phone right after I got offstage and it's like, did we just get the biggest bust in draft history? I was like, ah, who'd be good?

But. I'm doing telekinesis to you and you all of a sudden just start, like, breaking out in Kuiper down in Tampa. Just starts like snapping into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is on stage. Sorry, sorry, oh my God. His mental breakdown.

To me. Ah! Do you ever think when, back to the chickens, do you ever think, like in my head, if I'm eating a chicken breast, it's a female chicken. Yeah. Do I think that? But like if I'm eating a chicken wing, I'm like, it's probably a guy. It's a dude.

Mm-hmm. Does that make sense? Yeah. No, I think that all the time. I think that all the time. I just making sure you were picking up what I was putting out. No, I completely agree. Yeah, good.

You've never made more sense. Good. We're on the same page. I just burped. I have you burping boy. First burpee? First burpee. Wow.

Starting early. Yeah, you beat me to it. I'm all away. I'm, man, I'm too deep in by now, usually. Bongda coffee yesterday?

Yeah. Hey, never going to stop burping. Mm. Was that ice coffee? What was it? There's ice coffee. And,

wait, hold on. That's gross. Wait, it's not there yet. I was about to say, yeah, it's ramping up.

You know, he gets in racing. And they say, like, yeah, you know, cautions, cautions,

bro, cautions, so like, when the first yellow flag comes out, then it's like two laps later, another wreck happens. There's another caution, right? You hear that every single time.

You know, because it is race month. But they always say that. So maybe for us, it's like burpees breed burpees. We need a burp flag. What color is that? Just like gross, like nude color. Definitely brown. Gross, man.

That's so sick. Ew. A burpee boy flag. The things I would do. What just says burpee boy? What is that flag? It's just my, my burpee.

What country is that? Country of throw up. Best breast. Breast. Jesus Christ. Stroke meter thinking about chicken breasts. You know, you got to just get them out.

Well, you got to give us a little bit of, you know, people, because it's like, it's like 42 degrees. It's raining. It's May 1st.

It's like, so you know, we're excited. I'm excited. This is all good things. But it's just, it's fucking me up, man. Yeah, you get the strokes out. Yeah. I'm, we're stroking. We're burping.

You know, burpees breed burpees, man. And I ain't talking about the F-45 getting in shape. Burpees, man. They got to be the hardest, like, exercise of all time. Bupy, boy. Whoa. When, like, a coach was like, give me 10 burpees. I was like, oh, my God.

I'd rather do anything. Why are those? hard. Can we just do updowns instead? Jesus, literally anything. Oh, now you want updowns? Now you want up downs. I'll show you up downs. Okay. Just not burpees. The jump part. I'm like, oh, my God. How fucking stupid do you look doing that too? The worst. Yeah, I was like, hopefully there's no like the girls like, you know, like practice didn't end early or something and they're out here watching us because I look like shit right now. How about the guy that you went to high school or college with that you definitely didn't really take care of himself you know like in

college was definitely like you know probably beer gut like just just wasn't wasn't doing it and then all of a sudden you see his Facebook profile picture you know like eight years later once you're out of college and he's like the most jacked skinny cut dude ever i think because he figured out steroids really yeah you think he wasn't just like hey man i need to like get my shit together dude nobody's doing it just just by hard work anymore So you text their one? No. But like, I wish.

But like nobody is. Like when you see somebody that jacked, I'm like, okay. It's just, it's happened to me multiple times over the last few weeks. You know when you're reaching that real desperate scroll mode? Oh, you're deep in the... When it's late at night and like there's nothing on TV. Suggested people to follow. And you're just like, what am I doing?

Exactly. You know, it's the worst people. You snap yourself out of it like two minutes in. Like, why? You want to throw your phone across the room. like this is how big of a piece of shit I am. I'm wasting time like this. But that always pops up as one dude

and he'll literally have like an F-45 shirt or like he's in like the gym that he works out and that's his profile picture. I'm like damn man he looks good. Like good for him. He did not look like that in college. F-45. There's so many Airbnbs too that I've been like looked at with

you all just just stay with me. I'm in. There's so many Airbnbs too that I would look at me or I, when we're trying to go somewhere and the amount of them that are like, yeah, we'll say that there is a F-45 gym below us.

So it may be a little rough, you know, in the early morning hours. You may not be able to sleep in because we're located directly above an F-45 gym. There's more than like one Airbnb that said that. That's happened to me at least three times. Fucking F-45. I mean, I still book it because I'm like,

you know. It's work out. Yeah. A nice little wake-up call. I'm kind of hotel guy now. I remember you said that. Yeah. That's all right.

I'm about it. What about what about Verbo? I don't know what that is. Yeah, you do. You see the commercials for them all the time. It's just they're really shitting on Airbnb right now because they're trying to capitalize. They're like where our moments are always private, verbo. It's just Airbnb only like better.

It's like you rent out a house or a condo. but like the person isn't there. Yeah, it's just like, you know, most of the time when you do an Airbnb, a lot of times, especially back in the day, you'd do an Airbnb. And, you know, the host would be like upstairs in her room. And you would, you and your buddies would just be living like on the main floor for a night and a day in Chicago. You know, like, this is kind of fucked up.

Yeah, I don't really like it. You know, like, you feel like your mom's upstairs. You're like, we got, yeah, you always have to be quiet. You know, you're like, do I, can I do? Can I take this coffee out? Like, what is the rules? It's 2 a.m. Are we good?

Can I leave? Right. Yeah. So Verbo tries to capitalize on that, which is fair. But I think, I, I'd roll with them because it's the best of both worlds. You know, hotel. Then you're not neighbors with people and you don't got to worry about how many people have slapped and fucked and done whatever the hell else in that bed.

I kind of just don't even think about that. I don't either once I'm in there. But then I'm like, oh, we did Verbo. That's nice. This is like, this is more secluded. This is more us. Yeah. A little more, yeah.

A little more like freedom. A little more customization. You're not like. Yeah. Yeah. When I'm in a hotel. don't know why. Right when I walk in the door, I feel like I'm the first person that's ever been in there. Oh, yeah. I'm like, oh, wow, they made this for me. And it's funny too. When you, 90, 997,000 people have just fucked in there and been naked. And I'm just like, they did this for me. How nice of them? The weirdest shit going on in there. I never think of one person that's ever been in there before me. I'm like, wow.

How about when you, every time, every time you walk into a hotel room. Can't get the key, of course. Is it the rate? Oh, that's the first thought. So you go in. Got the wrong key. Finally. Finally, it works. You get the green.

Ah, there we go. See, boom. You have that conversation with, you know, your girlfriend and your wife or whoever you're with.

Open up the door to the hotel room. Flip on the lights. Ooh. Little bar. Oh, wow. I got a little like kitchen area. You do look right of the snacks.

Never, but you don't ever go in there. You don't ever use it. You don't touch it. But when you first walk in, It's like, okay, this isn't even a hotel room. This is an apartment. That's a good ass hotel room, bro.

And you're, you're excited about it. You're like, man, all right. This isn't just, you know, the bathroom on your left, the two beds set up in a TV. We got this little fucking thing here. You're looking around in the room, the hotel room, and you're like checking shit out like that. Like, oh, the bed. You know, then we got a couch.

Oh, man. Yeah, I can kick out on this. We got a desk too. Like, I could do all my work here. then you forget about the bathroom. And the right when you go on the bathroom, you're like, the shower, did you see this? The bathroom's like the dessert of the fucking, like, hotel trip.

Oh my God! You don't ever go to the bathroom until like last. Never know, right. You never know how to work the shower. The shower never. It's always a process. The one I just wanted to. I feel like I was driving a bus.

I was like, where's the hot water? What can just, just give me red, blue on one side with a toggle. How about a button? How about a bus? How about a button? Water. You know, you got these nice hotels downtown and shit now and everybody tries to be the most renovated,

you know, try to be like they're in 2052 or something. And yeah, I'm like, hey, you know what would be the best way to do that? Exactly what you just said. Just give me one button. Shower on. Temperature, hot. Boom. This much soap.

Mm-hmm. Like, I'm going to take more than one shower probably. This much soap. Tows are all in. One drop of soap. Tows are never the right. size. Oh, I love hotel towels, dude. I've taken a couple of my day. Oh, I, you know, when we're doing it a few weeks ago and you're like, if you just stole anything? No, I take that back.

That's something that I've just, hey, there's just something about it. I'm like, how are they always so new? They got that hotel scratch. Yeah, but you ever get one that's like kind of grimy and you're like, oh, I've never had a bad hotel towel. Really? I'm like a thousand for a thousand. I'm bad. Man, nice. Good percentage, dude. And they're, they're, they're, they're, white. They're always white. And you're just like, yes, I'm going to fuck this thing up. That's not even going to matter, you know? A white towel, that's bad news. What about? That's trouble, bro. The toughest part, the reason I don't want to stay in a hotel, the TV remote.

Yeah, it is like a cursed thing. Oh, the TV remote. You know, I'm like, fuck it, dude. Let's watch ESPN. I know. And I do it too. I'm just like, I don't care. I want the comfort of, you know, having a show on or or game, but then sometimes I catch myself and if I'm like laying back and I have it in hand, I'm like, this is really fucking gross. You know they wipe them down though. Do they? Yeah.

I think that like five years ago, they like made it a mandate. Like, yo, hotel remotes are really weird. Like, let's just get this shit right. They still don't wipe them down. Yeah. The cable though. Oh. Dude, what, and then.

The guide, right when I turn on the TV, six options of channels, a page down, six more page downs. I was like, am I in heaven right now? Just ESPN, just the regular one. I can just press it and watch it. Sometimes though, you run into some hotel rooms where they don't have a channel guide. So you got to try to go through. Okay, 34 is AMC. All right, 35. Well, I thought 35 is they just have like normal channels. Well, no, they have all those things. But what I'm saying is like they don't have the physical guide printed out. I'm old school. I like when it's literally it's like a laminated sheet and it's like 1 to channel 90

and it's like hey 68 Comedy Central cool ESPN 32 32 yep everybody knows the cable numbers 305 I was a 34 guy TBS must have been our neighborhoods I think TBS is 34 or 36

hey what's ESPN 2 let's just ESPN 2 is 42 bro nothing's on 43 Maybe we just... It was the neighborhoods, dude. Yeah, well, you grew up further south than I did. So maybe you go down. Everything's one channel.

It's like, oh, you live 15 minutes north of me? Okay. You got to see ESPN's 31 then. Got it. Nickelodeon 38. Cartoon Network 56. Comedy Central was always 68. I know.

I was like, that's weird and kind of like, kind of like scary. Kind of like intimidating. 68. I'm never in the 60s. This is uncharted water. Yeah. Can I watch this? Mom. I'm never going to ask.

MTV, what was MTV? 62 on some crazy shit. My MTV, VH1, 45. VH1 was weird. I kind of can't even remember that. Because VH1 to my parents, it was like, you know, in their head or whatever, it was just like the safer version of MTV.

I think it was, yeah, well, it is, though. Yeah. VH1 is like cleaner and music videos. I could get some kind of like, documentaries about maybe Michael Jackson or something. Yeah, but no M&M on VH1, bro. No Eminem. No Avril Levine, really. How much did that fuck you up the first time you were a kid and you remember going out to another hotel? You know, probably in like Missouri or like Ohio or something. And you're like, oh, what channels? You're like, oh, let's turn on the Cowboys Vikings game. Oh, yeah, it'll be 11. 11. Not 11.

It's like nine. Like, their Fox isn't 11. It's like, what the fuck is this? Or when they went from 59 to 11 here. That just, all my trust issues start there. On Fox 59. It's on Channel 11. What the hell?

59. Who's going to 59 to watch the Cowboys? No. Dude. CBS 8. I'm like, it's on 6. It really started getting to me that way too with bowl games and the sponsorship. and how they don't partner that shit up to make sense.

I know. Hey, can we get a list of bowl games real quick? Thanks. Does your mic working this week? Hey. He was keeping an low key. You didn't want to tell us. He was ready, bro.

Nicola on the mic. Don't let me start talking about your dad again. No, but, uh. Bro, his new Instagram name after tonight, Nicola on the mic. Nicola O-TM. What's that say for? On the mic. Nicola

Nicola can't type That would go hard Stop Oh I think I just Fucked something up Nicola no type Will you not hear I can hear you

You can hear me Can you not hear yourself I think I just kick the cord He's gonna kick the cord He's gonna kick the Kick the cord Can you throw it on VH1 real quick That was good

See now though TVs in the hotel rooms Sometimes they get to do this shit too and they have like a main front page that you turn the TV on and that's like the home state and it has like welcome to Bonvoy Marriott and it has all the different little fucking icons and apps you're like just just TV just get into the TV usually I just keep it on that guide for like way too long like maybe like seven hours it'll be on there I'm always like my mom and my wife that would get mad at me because you know I was always like leave everything on

leave all the lights on every time oh leave all the all on and they're like, why, what are you doing? Like, turn the TV off. I'm like, we're not paying the fucking bills. Take advantage. Fucking lead your surroundings. Let's go. All the lights. Also, I don't want to come back to a hotel room and have it be completely silent and

haunted. Who died? I want to come in and hear like Chris Berman or something. Please. Just anybody. I want to hear a baseball game. Man, it was kind of sad. No Chris Berman on the NFL draft.

And it hasn't been that way for a while for like a handful of years. I don't know. they usually give you some kind of like little segment with him now yeah or like maybe he does like the more relaxed like saturday you know it's not as like high pressure is round one when it's like prime time everybody's watching yeah but damn i was like something's missing am i good we getting waves okay i don't know what's going on yeah yeah list those boys it's the fiesta that gets me because it's still they saved it but it was titos wait oh it's tostitos tostitos fiesti-oble and now it's a PlayStation fiestable right yeah not as bad but like because some

them really like took an hell but that one but tostitos i know i know it literally looks like the logo i know the fiesta bowl logo looks like it would be on a Tostito's bag. What are we doing? Just pisses me off. You know? It's like what you're talking about with the team names

and how the jazz should be in New Orleans not the fucking pelicans. Ooh, that was a great. Addo. At do. Hotel guy though, huh? Yeah. Big time hotel guy.

I used to just getting everything I can for free. Yeah. Such a weasel in a hotel. It was like a getaway, you know? I remember growing up, like, sometimes my parents, you know, like, if we weren't going on like a big time spring break, you know, if everybody else was like going to Florida or something, they'd be like, come on, well, you know, we'll go to Cincinnati and we'll stay in a hotel.

That's all I wanted to do when I was a kid. Right. And it was like, oh, wow, a hotel? Like, why is that more fun? There's going to be a pool. Like, holy shit. Sometimes more fun than like the actual place you're going. Like, sometimes I was like, yo, dad, can we just get it like?

could we just go somewhere and go to a hotel? Like, I don't even care about the place. Like, is there a destination? Just the Holiday Inn is fine. I want to go to a holiday inn for vacation. And just like eat the breakfast and like, I just don't want to be here anymore. Right.

You want to change the scenery. They have a pool. Amazing. You're going to freaking, you'll just become a fish for two days. And then you got the complimentary breakfast where like, you know, you're on vacation. So your mom's like,

Can I have a cinnamon roll? You're like, can I? And they're like, yeah, you can. You ask your parents, like, can I have these frosted flakes like in the little box? And they're like, go for it. We're on vacation. Come on. What else can I do?

What else are we doing, huh? Start jumping on the bed and they're like at first. It's like, ha, ha, ha. But then after like two and a half minutes, it's like, all right, no more. Couple jumps. Let's settle down a little bit. Yeah. That was big, man.

Hotel days. We're big days. and then yeah yeah i had some growing up going on like baseball trips and shit baseball tournaments and then have those waffles like the the yeah dude the fucking it's the it's the it's the the drury in was always like man dude that was jury in bro that's a very underrated hotel if we stayed at one of those on a baseball tournament like traveling to Alabama or something jury gang bro that was like i felt like i was in the big leagues give me that wall awful flip. I'm like, oh, we're standing a jury in. Okay, I guess we're playing against the Yankees.

Holy shit. Oh my God. Yeah. What's my salary? Exactly. It's like kind of kind of one of those old school feel of the hotel too that actually had like bell hops and shit. You're like, you get the you get the one room that's next to your friend's room and the door that connects them in between. It's over, bro. It's oh. You're getting kicked out of that hotel. you got the connector door where you just open it what's up bro both their parents are gone at the bar all of a sudden you got an apartment with your boy you guys are fucking 13 it's the best time of your life

and that friend brought his PlayStation 2 to hook up to the hotel and nobody else knows about it yet on the team so it's just you guys playing like NFL street playing franchise mode on MLB the show doing this and your mom like doesn't hear you the hall. There's an annoying

kid on your team. You're like, oh, dude. So, hey, so Louis doesn't hear us. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Always the annoying kid that would like, you know, the group of kids would be running around the hotel just like trying to find a place to play wallball or like stealing everything in it. And the one elevator sign. Basically, we're just playing hide and seek from like the one weird kid on the team.

Feel really bad looking back now. Hope that's not my son. But, you know, karma is what it is. So makes more money than us now. it were like mean to him it was just like okay if we can get away from said kid we will that's great but if he has to tag along at least there's all of us and maybe we can like you know play play ball ball and hit him with the tennis ball we're definitely mean to him but he knew that and he was like i'm just not going to be around him that much no see that kid always in like he like really wanted to be around he just wanted to be included you know and so that's where it's and now

I'm getting like sad about it. Because it's like, that's all he wanted is just to be included. You know, then you got some shithead kids that are running around trying to avoid them. Don't have a weird buzz cut, bro. Maybe you can be. I don't know. But yeah,

the PlayStation in the room was total game changer. Dude, sometimes people would have PlayStation's on the car. What the fuck is that? Crazy shit. I asked for one, like, I just threw,

I would throw a reach on my Christmas list and it would be the PS2 like car hookup every year. Like maybe they will. I wouldn't do that because I wouldn't even know how the fuck to plug it in. How do you play a PlayStation in the car? It's crazy shit. You got to have TVs. You got all the oxcords, yellow, white, red, all that shit.

I don't know what they do. Oh, dude, it's tough. It is tough. Just plugging them and going until it works. Who knows? Yeah, let's try this one. If the PlayStation 2 thing comes up, you're good. How about like in a circuit city magazine back in the day?

It was the PlayStation console with the flip-up T-Wing. TV on it, like connected. Did you ever see that? No. I was like, who has that? Not even the rich kid at my school is that. Dude, when somebody, yeah, I'd be like, my mom, like, wanted me to read on the way down here.

You're playing Madden? Dude, my dad kind of had the setup in the car. I was watching Happy Gilmore and shit. Wow. Took a lot of trips. Took a lot of trips. Dang. All right.

So, like, what was your setup, like, in the back? You know, did you have space? jam All right So sometimes It was a solo trip Just me and my dad My dad will drive

Anywhere for any amount of time And never get tired Crazy thing of all time And he's not on Five Aner energy He has no supplements Dude I think he's just Locked in

I'm in the back There's like a mini TV Like this big Boom Sticking it between The driver seat Passenger seat It's face in the back

Happy Gilmore the whole time. I got the whole back seat. I got a bop it back there. Maybe we stopped at Wendy's. Got a couple JBCs rolling around on the floor. JBC's. Yeah. Maybe if I'm getting crazy, I'm like, can I get a frosty? Got that? It's a party in the back seat. Wow. Sometimes my sister would be back there. That'd be cool. If it was the younger. Only one sister. What one sister? Yeah. You get two of them back there. Then it's like, oh, for fun. Well, then you got your other sister in the passenger seat. You do something kind of too loud. You're like, fuck, bro. We can't

talk now because you're in a bad mood. Playing bop at a little too much. That's your equivalent of, for me, the baseball coach that would looking down the bench. Get a little too chatty. I guess we're being quiet for an hour. Little too chatty. Then everything gets real funny because you got to be quiet.

in the backseat like in the yeah in the dugout like you're losing my 10

10 runs that's one of those yeah I got to pull the hat down over my head or like put my just put my face down on my arms

I'll never stop on the way back from a road trip in college dude we got beat by like two touchdowns or something and we just were like

all right we're going to have fun on the way home and it was not a good idea yeah our offensive corps yeah We're just lost.

You guys were running, you guys were running stairs when you got back. I was like, dude, like we got to move on, right? We're not going to be quiet for a seven hour bus trip.

Yeah, can't dwell. We're like 23 and shit. Can't dwell. Yeah. But what's Coach P. having for snacks on a road trip? Is he like a sunflower seat?

Him himself? Well, like that road trip you just described. For him, he's, he's wrecking. some rolled gold braided twist pretzels. Whoa.

The honey ones. Wow. Depends how long the trip is, but like if it's four hours, like bag on the way there. I feel like you don't hear about that very often. It's a low-key snack. It, uh, you know, it won't mess you up. Not a lot of heartburn. Yeah.

Shit like that. And it kill. It suppresses the breath. Realize that about pretzels. If you're like at an event and you got some breath cooking, you're like, fuck. You know, there's like people. got to talk to. Yeah.

I'd be like, you know, I don't want to talk to her. Pretzels. Well, they dry your mouth out. But isn't that supposed to make it worse? Yeah,

mouth dry. That's when you got bad breath, right? I think it kind of like, it like blocks the... It blankets it. There you go. Interesting.

It'll coat the, the whatever you got going on. Whoa. Braided twist, bro. That was his thing. Sometimes a little diet, a little DC. in the cup holder.

Every football coach loves a Diet Coke bottle. I'd be like, whoa. Somebody's like going crazy in the front seat. The Diet Coke bottle. Yeah. Yeah.

Diet Coke and pretzels, man. It's a football coach right there. I've never seen my dad eat anything like fruity sour candy ever my entire life. Yeah, it doesn't fit him. Isn't that weird though?

Like you're not even going to try it? It's so good. Come on. Right. Like take a walk on the wild side. Yeah. Come on. Let your hair down, Coach Pete. Come on, man.

Listen, ah. Hey. Yeah, but that be a snap. We got to tell people or we got to have people say what they're going to put on the review or the comment. Because last week we got a bunch. Got a bunch of those boys. Oh, man. I had a good one for this.

It was, uh, what was his name your favorite player in the comments? Yeah. 2000s we got Lorenzo Neal we got Laverneous Coles we got Peyton Hillis

we got Rod Heat Me Smart Todd Heap Jimmy Graham James Thrash Dhrash Darnel Docket Lymus Swede

That's gross I love limous weed Vince Young It sounds like a Like a dish You'd order at like a I mean It's great name

Great college player Absolutely flamed out For the Steelers But you know He won a Super Bowl When the Steelers picked him, I was like, oh. Yeah, I know. So are we.

But it's all good. And then on YouTube, we got Ricky Proll. Correll Buckhalter. That's so sick, bro. Joey Galloway. I love our fans. Deuce Staley and Tommy Maddox. Fuck yeah.

James Starks, 44, running back for the Packers. Kyle Vandenbosch. Keith Bullock. I mean, people really brought the heat, man. I'm stuck on James Thrash. Karel Buckhalter. It's so wild because I, I, Todd Heep was running through my head all last year.

I was like, that's the perfect 2000 to 2010 random football players. Todd Heap. The amount of times I was like, fuck that guy. Because he always catch a, you know, over the middle. A flag route by, you know, from Flaco. It's like, oh, just running down the sideline like a runaway truck. I'm like this dude.

I mean, come on. Look at him. His strides are. five yards a piece. That's what kills me about those tight ends. I'm like, how do you not, they run 10 yards and then run to the right. I know. And they're not fast. No, man. They're just like, I'm like, are tight ends anybody? Can anybody be a tight end? All you got, all you do is is running down field and turning. Now this guy, I mean, he's next. I'm just like, that's just anybody. Even Travis Kelsey, which we've, you know, gone on and we're like, that guy's pretty wild. We pray to

him. Half the time you watch, he's like in the slot. He runs a little slight veer to the left, about 12 yards, turns around. Pretty sure I could do that. No, no. How a defense has not figured this out? Hey, just like keep your eyes on his belt. I don't know.

I mean, what the, I know, bro. And then how come after every tight end catches a pass 40 more yards? I'm like, we can't tackle now? what's going on? He's not like blazing. No. None of them are just elusive. Because what happens is, you know,

they're in the secondary by this point. So all the littler guys don't want to freaking take. Yeah. So then they're kind of just trying to like duck at his legs or like punch out the ball. You know. And then you got Chris Berman. He's boomer in them. Hey,

just give me a whole team of tight ends. Match up. 11 offense. 11 defense. Who's not? Who's beating them? Match up nightmare. Yeah.

They're all six, 10. Sweet. I saw George Kittle. He was like working. They posted a social media video of him because he was like working doing routes out of a three point stance. Just like so tight end,

you know? Like come out. Yeah, because now tight ends there. Said hit. Nobody wants to put their hand in the ground. You know, and everybody just,

you know, Travis Kelsey's in like is kind of in the slot. maybe right matchup problem George Kittles just like fucking hand in the dirt man no gloves running running this running four yards putting his foot in the ground and turning so hard

throw the elbow hey how about a how'd you put when you like lined up dude like the first time you had to do that how did you put your hand in the ground like what fingers were up it was like here do it on here doing it I think

bro this is just how I thought that did it. So this is how I always did. It was just like this. No thumb? You just put them like that? Wow. Because the coach would come over and be like, if you're on your right balance, I can just hit your hand. You can just do this. Oh yeah. That was big. You know what I mean? There's always a coach showing, hey, you got to be balanced. They try to like tip you over and shit. They're just abusing kids. Huh? What are you going to do? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What are you going to do about it? Oh, ring finger. God damn, coach. there'd be one kid that was really good in his stance.

Yeah, dude. There's Andrews. There we go, Andrews. Andrews isn't even Blankin. Yeah. Because they're like getting in his face. Everybody else. Yeah.

You're going to have defense's line, man. Right. I mean, sorry. What? I can't tell if we've ever played football or anything. Or miss it or love it. Or think about it every night. Or talk about it every podcast.

Dude, they all. Dude, hey, can we do a video like that? Yeah. Or there's some kid in a stance and me and you're just going fucking crazy. And he's just,

I fucked your mom. I fucked your mom. You're a piece of shit. You're a piece of shit. How about that? Just gets so personal. The kid from St. Jude's gonna fuck you up. That's a piece of shit.

You get real, yeah. You want to be on the coaching step, but he said he's too big about pussy and we ate him. He smoked cigarettes. You guys living a shit. The kid just doesn't play a snap all season either. That's always the kid with the best dance.

Yep. Yep. But he's got that thing. Fucked your mom. Yeah, that sister years. Yeah, she's 16. I know. She's coming up.

Give it a few years. All I want to do in life is be a football coach. Duh. God, we're bored. Hey, we're just, we're just. That's all I want to do. do we literally that's that's everybody knows too everybody knows me and you just want to be football coaches we're just not giving in every day every day i wake up and i go i can't be a football coach today

fuck yeah yeah it's like you know that guy that's uh played like he's like 31 or 32 like still in the minor leagues for baseball you know he's been the minor for like nine years yeah like okay obviously it's just you're like you're not you're not going to the bigs man but like he's like beat selling insurance yeah he's just putting it off every day that's just what we're doing with football coach I burp he boy hard there two for two wow

that was a good one too like some burbs are like gross but that one was like sounded not bad yeah like had the right trajectory had a good build up dude how about just the difference and reaction for when

a woman has female or a woman has bodily functions against when a dude has bodily functions. Like the reaction of other people? No, like if you're with your girlfriend, dude, they can absolutely like let out a fart

that shakes the core of your house. And they're just like, oops. But then if you were like, sorry, they're like, oh my God. Why are you doing?

Seriously? Every single time. Crazy. Girls are the worst. Two seconds later. Girls are the gaseiest bitches, man. And they like thinking, yeah, uh-huh. I'm like, what?

Oh, what? They're like singing and shit with their burps. I'm like, I'm so sorry. Girls are like, Mimi, ma, pooh. Down to the sickness starts playing. Oh, oh. Oh, sorry, I just had a snapple.

Jesus Christ. Same with farts, bro. Like, you know, I'll, I'll kind of, yeah, I don't want to be blatant about it all the time. And so, like, I'll just be like, do one of those kind of like pinch one out a little bit let it eep out

let it eat out just do one of these and you know maybe it makes a little like eat maybe it makes like a little yeah it did you know sounds like a dog trying to get your attention right right right right right is like just

are you serious seriously grow up but then like after we eat dinner Dear Lord. What? What are we doing? Definitely my favorite part about marriage

is that all bodily functions are supposed to cease to exist. So funny. Gotta go outside for it. I don't know. So what should what should these guys? I know, man.

What should these guys and girls comment I had the best one in the car? I was like, oh, that's it. I won't forget it. Yeah. It could be in my phone, actually, but I'm not going to do all that right now. Jesus Christ. Maybe it was like a, oh, what's the, what's the song that's always stuck in your head?

Hmm. Nah? Not bad, but then we're, but then we could do better. But then would people be like, oh, now that fucking song's stuck in my head because these guys told me to. Is that right? Yeah. I don't know. Nicola, you got one?

Just what, like, what, what, what, what. Do you have a suggestion for what we should tell people to comment? What's your road trip snack? Guilty pleasure road trip snack? Is that a thing? I think, like the thing you want to get, but you're like, I can't. Is that what you mean? Or just like you just get it and you're like, that's what it is.

What's up, fudge rounds? For you. Let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's think on it. Maybe something will come up in the next 13 minutes. Because last week it was just so like, oh, people couldn't wait to rip fucking Todd Heap. Maybe it's your guilty pleasure song. Let's just, I think that's it.

I've been listening to Disturbia by Rihanna. Like, keep it going. Man, that reminds me so much of your senior year of high school. Me too. That was like, that took over the world, at least in our world. I think like our cheer team was like doing like a fucking dance to it. I don't exactly what you're talking about. That thing was like everywhere.

I'm downloading that song immediately. Bam bum bum, bum, bum, bum, be dumb bum. Every day I listen to that song. That's my guilty pleasure song right now. I'd be a good one because, you know, there's those songs that like it's banging when it comes out and like every, it's everywhere. And like you listen to it all the time and it's there. But then it becomes like, holy shit, I've had enough of disturbia. but then you give it like a 15 year break like I have yeah and now I come back and maybe I'm

like disturbia I love like this is a day party song refinding songs like that this is a day party song I like that let's do that guilty pleasure guilty pleasure song at ATM at the moment nice guilty pleasure song atm oh dude this is mine right now for sure and it has been actually well hey hey Copyright, hey, give it a little three seconds. Yeah, a little three seconds. Well, you won't be able to, okay, hold on. Are you just going to, or are you just going to sing it? Nah, I'll, you know, what I'll do is I'll play it to where it gets to.

I guess I have a. Finally, it's happened to me right in front of my face. Nobody's bopping like us to that, bro. Finally. Then he starts standing around your house and stuff. You're like, oh my God. That's, yeah, dude. We got the new, we got the new, you wouldn't have got, finally.

It happened to me. And then Rise like, sorry. It's called Finally by C.C. Pinniston. It was released 1991. So you know it's that, you know, that early, when the people hadn't figured out that you can move on from the 80s, but like it was kind of into the 90s, you know? Yeah. 91.

They're like, well, it's still kind of the 80s, but it's early 90s. Yeah. So it's one of those songs and it's great. Big bop. I like play that in the shower and I'm literally like, finally. You ever fall down in the shower? I think about it a lot.

It scares me. Honestly, it does. Because I'm like, man, like you're going to fucking knock your head. My big boy times three. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

For show. Yeah, I think about that. But the good thing about the shower that I currently have is that it's one that's like very vertical. Not a lot of room. So if you fell down, be like, yeah,

yeah, we just fall into the wall. But one of yours, one of those like yours where it's like the tub and it's wide. You're like, if you slip,

you're fucking. Bye. Looney tunes. Flip. I had a bad, I almost had a bad one just in the house. I like had a stain on my sweatshirt

and I sprayed it like with this like stain remover before I was going to throw it in the washer. I'm big on that. I was killing it. Put the sweatshirt in the laundry, walked in the path where I sprayed all that shit on the floor. Because it all fell.

Oh! The residual spray fell to the ground. What was I thinking, dude? I wish I had that on camera so bad. I was like... Dude, does it ever happen when you're going down the stairs? And like... The wood floor.

Well, you, maybe you catch, like, you know, you catch the stair on the bottom, like the heel of your foot. like, am I going to snap my shin? You know, like, if it catches it weird, like, Kevin Ware style. Oh. And, like, because you're not your whole, like, so it catches it. That's a, yeah, that's a throwback there.

But it catches it to where it's, like, coming on your heel and all the weights there on your shin and, like, a weird thing. Sometimes I think about that. I know. Our, our shin should be just snapping every 20 minutes. Scary. What's the injury that hurt you the most? Maybe that's the guy.

That guy hurt that you're just like, fuck. maybe that's her these guys comment it's too long maybe not it's too long it's got to be a name it's got a title it's got to be a guilty pleasure song yeah guilty pleasure song that's what it is this week so we've loved it we've loved the past two or three weeks we tell you all something hey comment kiss a meal kiss you back comment the kiss emoji comment favorite football player from the 2000s and you guys have been doing awesome and they're really fun and we really appreciate it dude i met some of the the these guys club in Tampa. Love it.

The guy that's like, is it on Stitcher? Met him. Bro, I almost fell to my knees. Oh my God. I love you, man. That's amazing. I'm so jealous. It was crazy.

It's like, it's really you? I like, are you lying? Because like that's, that guy is like, that's the guy I love. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, dude, looks like those meet and greets are popping. They're way too much fun. That's awesome.

Yeah. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, It's really good. Finally. The boy's crawling. Huh? My son. Shut up.

Frank. Where's he going off to? Dude, everywhere. It's like, you ever have to be like, hey, no,

no, no, hey. Oh, where's he go? Dude loves cords for some reason. Ooh. Right?

Not great. Oh, yeah. Rip him out, put him in his mouth. Like, what are you doing? At a boy. And so he's doing,

dude, and it's like, who's not doing that though. You know, for a while, right? Oh. Right.

great. But, you know, it's one of those things where he, he was on, you know, all fours and he was able to do that really well and just kind of stand there like, uh, uh, you know, we'd always be like, come on. And like he could. And now he's never. And now all of a sudden it just clicked, light bulb went off for him. And the dude's just everywhere. He's moving. Dude's moving everywhere. And he loves, all he wants to do is get to somewhere to where he can stand up from. So like, we'll set him down in the middle of the floor. It's not around anything. And then he'll just start crawling somewhere and like to find the couch and like pull himself up that it's crazy is he ever to him in happy ever like wrestle around kind of they're getting they're getting there

happy luckily is very gentle with him because obviously happy's like 95 pounds and could just obliterate him yeah play for any NFL team called select happy your dog's on the phone Jim Hersey's like we love to have you but yeah so but it's real cute like happy will just lay there and Frank will like crawl up to him and like kind of be patting him and stuff and happy just won't do anything or maybe like look back and like I'll like give him a kiss

and then Frank will just like pull himself up on him no way super cute yeah they're like playing the other night and like me and right you know it wasn't like a thing we set up Frank had just like made his way over there and then happy and then we're like he was happy he was like putting one of his toys on you know to frank and frank was like kind of grabbing it and stuff it was so cute could frank ride happy have you tried oh yeah i mean like i i i've put him on there it's like they're like perfect size it's incredible go like if we just put like a thing

for frank to hold on to on happy a saddle yeah well yeah there you go we put a saddle on like a real saddle yeah and they're the perfect size like frank it literally looks like he's just a shrunken down version of a human riding a horse. Which would be incredible. But Happy kind of don't like that. He's on the back. He kind of starts right, right, right, right. Yeah, dogs.

Come on, guys. You're many horses. What do you expect, man? What do you, what do you think? What do you think we're going to do? When you're a big dog, yeah, you should expect for us to put little humans on you. Dogs are so sensitive about that.

Get over at dogs. Can we all the dogs listening? Like, hey, guys. open up a little bit be open-minded you ever want to get a pet probably not but if I did

I'd get a cat really cats are so cool to me well that would be the pet for you to get because yeah you know you're traveling a lot

you're not always home and shit the cats can just they're like all right fuck it see you I think I'd like it too much yeah you'd have to get the right one oh yeah

but you never know with cats it's true so that's why I wouldn't do it Like the first month, I'd be like, this is the right cat. Then month two, they're like complete bitches. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Just don't get a black contact with my cat. Don't get a female all black cat.

Named Ruby. Bro, what happened to Ruby? I don't know, man. Joey's cat. First pet. First born. Yeah, the first, the first life we welcomed into the house. She's like an older sister or something.

Yeah. Dude, she just does not. She just fucking stay away, man. no big time Jesus Big time Big time Yeah

Cat that would be interesting Yeah You with a cat Do you have to see All kind of like cat Tick talks And I'm like Y cats are so dope

I hate them But I love them You know That's how they're always Doing some shit That's how they feel About us So it works out

Yeah Cola you got a cat You cat guy Dog guy Yeah Dogs are a lot of work Man As long as you get

As long as you get a dog And don't become like fucking annoying dog guy you know I probably at least you admit it at least you know you don't know a lot of low key dog guys

or he's taking them to bars and shit that's wild dude I'm luckily my dog's so big and just like so energetic right now that's not even an option nah it'll wreck the whole place if I took happy to Metazoa

he'd get drunk he'd get drunk and then I'd get drunk because I'd be pissed and then he'd probably just like run away just break so many glasses jumping over fences I am jealous of people that

that can go to like a restaurant or a bar like that that's like outdoors and you know and they'll have like the water bowl there for their dog and their dog will just fucking lay on the ground at their feet underneath. It's crazy just waiting for a fry. Not a chance dude. My dog would see a piece of paper

flying down the road and just sprint into the traffic. Seriously. Idiot. all right yeah guilty pleasure songs Disturbia by Rihanna That's mine

Finally by Ccine Finally It's happened to me And I'm gonna go jam out to On the way home And it's gonna be great We appreciate you guys as all As always

Always Give us subscribe on YouTube You know like and comment the video Like we told you to because I think that did help the views last week. Everybody was commenting and then I was like, this has been out for like two hours and already had that many views. Anyways, that's just kind of how it works.

So that Apple Podcast, Stitcher, of course, for our friends out there. Stitch gang. And Guilty Pleasure Songs, please. We want to see them and hear them and talk about the next week. Grab some ticks to the chefs. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I know Ben's Boston, May the Fourth be with. Dude, you want my, I don't know if I want to give you my Darth Vader helmet,

but I could give you something wild for May the Fourth. Yeah. You can take something out there. I'll just bring a lightsaber on the plane. Yeah, that'll go well. Go to Go see Pid in Boston. Come see me and friends on May 25th. Sounds good.

Okay. See you guys next time. These guys. Too.