THESE GUYS! - new pope (who cares)

Episode Date: May 13, 2025

on this ep the burpy bois realize they have no idea what's on ESPNU⭐️ 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗔 𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 & 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪📺 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 ����𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗵 https://benedictmerch.com/products/clubhouse-hoodie?variant=44118163914809🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦Las Vegas, NV - May 24 https://www.wiseguyscomedy.com/nevada/las-vegas/arts-district/e/benedict-polizziNashville, TN - June 13-14 https://www.etix.com/ticket/e/1051364/2025-benedict-polizzi-nashville-the-lab-at-zaniesBaltimore, MD https://www.magoobysjokehouse.com/shows/317128

Hey, long hair. Long hair coming out of a beanie. Wee. Dude, don't talk about Adam Eckert like that. Oh, man. Not bad for a fat guy. TG 134. 444.44.

134 is the sports guys talking baseball and hockey playoffs because sports are alive. 134. Hope you don't snore. All right. Okay. Because when I taste tequila. He's a country guy. I'm just,

I'm just big techs now. Yep. Hey, you're not sex polits. You're techs policy. Is that Tex? What's on, Tex?

Station, know you went country? Station, know about that hat? Changing formats. changing formats on us right when I put a pair of boots on

station now about this he was a sports guy and now he's country baby dude so much conch so much conch get the mega ticket on the lawn country baby

bring your boots and flannel shirts beer and trucks baby and their bottle of liquor in your back pocket country baby we all sound like this guy baby it's the summer slam sorry sorry no good good conch kunch weekend it looked like it not bad met my heroes yeah he saw all the big stars

shabuzzi called you handsome that's cool it was fun god damn dude bro had the fit on did one of these to me yeah like god That's just a cool dude right there. There's a whole thing, but dude, 100% everybody looks way hotter in a cowboy hat. Put a cowboy hat on? He's not having sex with him. Yeah. God, girls do moms, they love cowboys.

Cowboys, firemen. Hey, anything that, anybody that has a costume on. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wait. Wait. You get a, you get a guy. in fireman pants with the overalls

with just a beater and a cowboy hat on hottest guy ever. Some dirt on his face? That's what you should have done the country music awards in. Wait. You had a left home with Lainey Wilson. Wait. Who is that?

Any guy with dirt on their face? Wait. Construction worker? Hold on. Any guy with a ball in their forearm? Wait. A ball? Like the, you know.

Popeye? Popeye forearm. Any guy with roll up sleeves? Wait. Any guy in a baseball shirt? We. Has boot on? We.

We. Smudge on his right cheek. Wee. Hey, high school has tinted windows. Is that him in there? I can't see. Wait. Tinned windows, dude, big deal.

Big deal. On my Christmas list every year. Hey, Christmas, mark it down. God. I'm so ready for Christmas. I almost texted three people yesterday. Get them out. Get them out.

Dude, yeah, I'm on my, my Instagram feed. It just every day, there's at least three posts. That's like 246 days until Christmas. When your Christmas looked like this and it's like 90s, nostalgic Christmas, oh, send it to my sister every time. My sister sends those to me and I'm just like, God, I don't want to cry tonight. Yesterday I was like, I can't be the only one that's like, how long has it been since Christmas?

It's been two years. Oh, yeah, it's a long time. This is the longest time it's ever been since Christmas, bro. I promise. Gene's Carhart jacket, December 23rd. Who is that? Wait. Hey, kind of fake Tims.

Kind of fake Tims. Hey, long hair. Long hair coming out of a beanie. Wee. Dude, don't talk about Adam Eckert like that. Oh, man. Hey, can we, a moment. Moment of silence for Adam Eckert.

just the hottest guy ever. So under the radar. I was like, are you guys not seeing this guy? Towering over all of us, hottest guy ever. All right. Bro, he was one. He just looked at your girl in the hallway. Wait, see ya.

Night, done, done. Night night. I was like, all right, babe. Let's walk to class, but not down the junior hallway. Yeah. Stay away from that guy. Learned ACE's class schedule, so you knew where and where not to go. Wait.

Yeah, his initials spelled ace. So he just called, he just started his brand as ace. I already has a brand. Sophomore in high school already has a brand. What am I doing, dude? I don't even have, I have one pair of school pants. This guy has a brand identity. All his us usernames.

Oh, yeah. Very, very hot star. Very hot. I want you to push ticks though before we go. I want you to get. Rochester was a dream. actually was so, so sick. Two nights, nice.

Two nights, four shows. A lot of shows. Best city of all time. Going from Texas to Rochester. Big diff, but still lit. But coming up, Las Vegas, Nevada, May 24th, Nashville, June 13th and 14th. And just added, just added,

just added, Baltimore, September 25th. Get your tickies. Bennypiliti.com or the link below. and subscribe, get some merch, you know. Oh, dude, you know, you know it was selling, bro? The merch was selling it. It was all not bad for a fat guy hats. Oh, that's a big.

We got white. We got blue. Dude, people were eating it up. And like half of my, half of my, like, crowd now, it's starting to be like hella bros with jerseys on. And, dude, it makes me so happy because they just get it. That's awesome. That's really great to hear.

Love it. So everybody that came out to the shows, thank you. There was a review, rate review. We'd get more ratings and reviews, which is awesome to see. Thank you. But there's one that said, I bet it's five star. And I said, I bet Ben was a screen peeker. What does that mean?

Screen peeker. I'm thinking, like when you're next to somebody and they're texting and you're like, or when you're in a computer lab and you're like, what? I thought computer first, but I'm peeking all the screens. You're right about that. I don't know what screen you're talking about, but I'm looking. Bro, somebody's, I'm looking 100% of the time. And even if I don't want to look, I'm looking. Like somebody on an airplane, like in the, in the robe, bro.

Yeah. And I'm like, people are looking at what I'm looking at too. So it's just all free game. But like, I can read every one of your attacks. And I'm going to read them. Yeah, that's why whenever I'm at a game or anything, I dropped the lighting down super low on my phone. Because I'm like,

no, there's people probably, I just like, I'm, I'm going to be texting and whatever. Not that I'm, but it's just, eh,

I know people are looking. I know the pinkers are out there. All caps, exclamation points. Gotta get Halliburton out. Trade them. Jesus Christ. Scores 40 points that night.

I guess he heard me. We're still. still believing in Anthony Richardson? What the fuck? You just see it. Isn't that the guy that like is all about any sports? Yes, he is because sports are our life.

Yeah, dude. Hey, how about the new Pope, huh? Wow. Didn't even know what happened, huh? I know. I knew it happened, but like, same guy for the 39th time who knows

no dude this guy's born in Chicago yeah that is pretty cool but same guy Pope Leo can go ahead and goal to Chicago has there been a Pope Leo before Pope Leo yeah it's the 14th one we gotta we gotta study that

what's going on there how come there's they pick the name right that's on his name Oh, what's his name? His name's Robert Prevost. Oh, damn. Pope Robbie?

Come on. Yeah, but it has to go, it has to, there's like a line of names that they have to pick from. John, three, apparently. Mark, Luke, Leo.

I wonder why he picked Leo. I think he's a big Seinfeld's fan. Uncle Leo! Jerry! Now that would be hilarious if that's the reason why. We talked to new Pope Robert Provost and asked why the name Leo. He just name drops Seinfeld. That would be amazing.

God, I wish I knew any references from anything. Yeah. But yeah, it looks good. Yeah, he said he just goes, Jerry. That would be sweet. Yeah, he's only 69. Like, he's not that old. He should be around for a while.

So there we go. God bless him. And dude, it's crazy. Like, I was just taking it. Like, it was a super cool moment. I know you didn't watch. So I'll get into it a little bit. Like the white smoke happens and everybody's, you know, friend group, parents,

texting. We have white smoke. You know, like, holy shit. So we go, we turn on the news. Me and Ryerson, they're watching. And I'm not going to lie to you. I got like a little emotional when he emerged and showed for the first time. it was pretty like surreal

because that was the first one of my like a grown adult life that I've watched and I remember fifth grade after Pope John Paul died and Benedict was on and they did that and they shut down

right couldn't believe that you remember that when they shut down like school for the day all we did was just sit around and watch the coverage waiting for the new Pope to come out yeah it was in fifth grade

I'll never forget it I don't remember that I didn't know was that big of it deal, honestly. What do you mean? He's the leader of the largest group of people on earth.

What do you mean? What's he doing? What's the Pope ever done, dude? All right, Pope, do something. I hate to be ignorant, but you're such a fucking idiot. They just send you to polite cat called a pope. You should have been in the

Vatigan. Oh, that would have been nice. Damn, dog. You look like the last 32 guys. All right, I'm just kidding. It looked like you never miss 7 a.m. Mass. You look like you sing all the songs. Yeah. That would be awesome. Yeah, you don't even care though.

It's like the coolest thing ever for me and you're just like what does he do? face of 1.6 billion people on earth. What's he do? What's he do? Hey, what's he done? Let's see the resume. I was like,

I really didn't know that people watched it though. Like, kind of like, kind of like the NBA draft lottery or kind of like the draft. Yeah. NBA draft's so weird. One thing I'll never understand about the NBA draft. Like one guy like gets, dealt between like three different teams

and he gets drafted, puts on a hat of a totally different team and then the next hour he's like officially on another team. I'm like, why don't you just tell us when all that stuff is done? Yeah. Well, it goes back to the classic example

is the Pacer's drafting Kawhi Leonard. And everybody would go back to that and be like, I can't believe we gave up Kawhi Leonard for George Hill. I can't believe we. But what you don't, like, the pace, that's what you're saying is that the Pacers were, that was the Spurs making that pick and the Pacer's spot.

He was never going to be a Pacer, but that's what you're saying is it's like, why the hell do we have to do the whole rigmarole where he goes up on stage and he has an Indiana hat on? And now he got morons for the next 15 years. And George, can you imagine it to Paul George's Kuai Leonard? It was never going to be a thing. Like, get it through your head. But that's the NBA draft. It's confusing.

It's kind of weird. and typically after the first four guys it's just like, I see you never. Yeah. They need to figure that out. Like, it just doesn't make any sense.

Why would you even show it? I am. I don't know. The lottery is tonight, though, actually. So when you hear this, we'll know who has the number one pick. Who's going to get Cooper flag? All right.

Now it's sports podcast. I was kind of bummed, though. Like, the Pope didn't put on the hat. And it would be kind of sick if he had a song that he came out to, right? That's the ultimate walkout. What are we talking about? That'd be fun if he picked a hat like the dudes do, like for their decision day. Yeah.

Does that, then has a song as he comes out into the Peter's Square. What's he got? What's his walkout song? I don't know. I don't know if it would be a church banger. If it'd just be straight up like I saw a bunch of people because he's from Chicago, they did the Michael Jordan. at the da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da

at the same time you know could do taste and see could do taste and see take would be good

would be good would be good we are the church happy to be the children in God's family oh my bad this thing's off

this thing's so on Kind of lit, kind of lit, kind of lit. Trappaholics, bitch. Trappaholics, bitch. Damn, son. Where'd you find this? I make a juice box with, wet, wet, wet, wet, wet. I'd be like, all right, this is my pope.

Now I'm just going to edit that in just for my own. I make a juice box drip. drip drip drip what does he say at the beginning of that uh oh

what the verving it a lot of a lot of women out here looking all right something like that I'm turning it on it won't even come on because

juice box juicebox are forgotten forgotten big time heater big time just simple Azo? What up, Jock? A lot of women out here. Publio could come out to that.

Good to have you. It would be kind of lit. You said wedding reception song. It would not be bad in front of all those hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people out there in the square fee came out. And it was a little bit of, you know you make me want to shout.

Take my hands up a shot. Oh, my hands. Packer shot. The place is going nuts. Pope getting a little, just raising the hands a little bit. Raising the root of praising God. Hey.

Come on. Yeah. That would be insane. Hey. He's directing everybody. A little bit softer now. A little bit softer now. Too cool the Pope, bro.

A little bit louder now. He raising everybody up, bro. Come on. A little bit louder now. Come on. Everybody, happiest plan. of all time right there. I don't know.

People don't want that Pope. Pope's too lit. People don't want that fun Pope. People want a serious Pope. I don't know, dude. Our Pope was at the White Sox World Series game in 05, just like on his cell phone. He's a regular guy. Yeah.

Did he have an iPhone? It was 05, so it wasn't out yet. But he just had like a, you know, hello motto or some shit. Oh, yeah, it was not out. You're right. Yeah, it's been circling everywhere. Like, they literally, the Fox finds, like, they do. a crowd shot.

There he is. Oh, okay. I do know that picture now. Joe, Joe Buck, just talking about the Astros lineup and Pope Leo is just chilling.

The Astros. Yeah, back when they were an NL team and they had that like copper, the whole copper color stick scheme. No, the Astro's, given nicknames,

nicknames, the Stroes when they were Navy and gold. Oh. with a white. Uh-uh. Hey, can we put some respect on Mark Jones,

that NBA announcer? Oh, yeah. Do you like him? Not sports podcast. Bro, that guy. Yo, he's pretty good, man.

I don't know if it's coming, coming off a different way to you, but every time he says something, I'm like, that's a bar. Still the favorite one for me is the dude from Charlotte. Oh,

the insane dude? Yes Who doesn't like him Dude he's so good ESPN's like We can't He's like Underground right now

It's like Just wait bro Just wait until that guy Get mainstream So good I love it Anytime I see Anytime I see any clip

Of him anywhere My buddy over the weekend Made a pretty good point He was like I don't know if like If he was my team's broadcaster And he was on every game That might be a lot

but you get to like those guys like your hometown guy though you know they're always annoying you tap into like a weird Vikings game and it's some like weird Paul Allen corky yeah

I don't know this is a Detroit man this is a Super Bowl I think that they had a better drive last time and you're like who the fuck is that guy oh it must be their hometown guy that everybody loves all right I get it I get it

yeah it's sparky who's uh it was like a third string defensive back 40 years ago just a real hustle guy career made played with two fingers lost all right he's a legend loves them no one no no no one that a no one that a dad loves more than the guy who barely played the guy who barely played who was rough and tumble undersized and who now is a reporter for the team or like to see out like a personality for the team.

Half his finger gone. Never heard about the finger, Sparky's finger play? Sparky's finger third down. That yellow spot on the yellow dot on the field that's where he lost his finger. He wasn't afraid

to crack some skulls. over the middle. So he went in there and got his hand caught between two helmets colliding. Just fell off. He played the next down. That's why he wears this. Every dad has that story, bro. You can't hit a guy like that over the middle anymore. That's a sparky rule. You didn't know? Yeah, he's now the color guy for the Vikings. everybody knows that where's this Super Bowl ring on his stub finger

just has the real picture bum nail what are we talking about I don't know Sparky's finger yeah he does a lot of like

he does a lot of like events and speaking in the area too. Like every church group, every local company. He's like, come on out. We're having a festival tonight. And Sparky, you remember him.

Vikings legend is going to be stopping by for autographs from 630 to 7. Can we get a picture of Sparky? Can we get a picture of Sparky? No, no, no. It's the dad making the kids go get a picture. of Sparky. The kids are like, he's... Get a picture of Spark. Come on. He's weird and old and his finger is all fucked up.

Come on. You don't even know. The Sparky rule. Daddy, I don't like his finger. Right there. Sorry, Spark. Sorry, Spark. You're a legend, man. Yeah, get it yet. Dude, how much is your, everybody's wife hates Sparky? Oh my God. They hate them, but they love them. I don't know. That's the guy. That's the guy that comes and, like, he speaks, but he, he's the guy who you think is really little because comparatively to every other freak athlete on the field, he is.

But then he comes to the church group meeting and he's, you're like, oh, you're actually still really big. He just, you know what that happens when like T.J. McConnell, you know, or someone or like George Hill. I'm in my Pacers phase, obviously here. Like, those are guys that all the, on the basketball. basketball court, you're like, damn, they are so undersized. And then you see him, you're like, oh, you're still a giant. He can't walk through a door normally. Okay.

It's to turn to the side to walk through the door because his shoulders are so big. Okay. That's sparky. Now I'm uncomfortable. Real, real undersized for a safety back then, but for a regular guy. Yeah. Where's the cowboy hat, too? Oh, for sure.

everywhere. When he walks in, all the dads, let's go! All those guys have a thing, you know? It's a cowboy hat. It's like one of those Irish little caps. It's always something, you know? They're like ace, dude.

They got a brand and they got to just follow it. Cowboy hat is real, bro. Amazing. How much that run you? Or did they give it to you? They gave it to me. Thank you. God.

Wow. Save him the whole entire day. Not having to worry about hair? Yeah, I bought a cowboy hat three years, four years ago. It was pricey. It's like the cheapest one is 80 bucks. Unless you buy one from Party City, then it's like 20. Not that I know.

Yeah, but those are. Not that I've ever been there. Those are, I mean, those are pieces of shit. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's not nothing. I don't know. Like, it's because I don't know enough about any of the things, but like I went into boot barn. Smells so good in there. You've been there? Yeah.

It's exactly where I got my cowboy hat. Boot barn, bro. An amazing place. But I'm like, some cowboy boots are like $900 and some are $200. And I'm like, what on earth is a difference? Mm-hmm. Trigger leather. Yeah. Who can notice? But yeah, those are high heels, man. You ever worn cowboy boots?

No. They're high heels. I'm 6'8 in cowboy boots. I was like, I understand all this now. You got you some and you wore them down there? Nice. Yep, yep.

Slippery on the inside. Dude, real stability issue the whole day, but it had to rock it. Kind of slippery on the bottom. too, right? Like the inside. You know when you're wearing bowling shoes and you're like,

yeah, your foot's slipping around a little bit? I'm like, how are these, who's wearing these shoes for real? Why are bowling shoes so bad? I'm like, we can't get any normal ass shoe.

I'm thinking about bowling shoes now. I'm like, why do we have to wear those? That's the worst, dude. No, I don't want to go bowling ever simply because I don't want to wear the shoes.

And yeah, it is like a gross thing, but also they look better and also feel better. Like everything about them. It's like this is a gross process to put these on. Two, I'm slip sliding everywhere. Three, they all have to look like clown shoes. Hey, Jordan, you can't cut a deal with bowling alleys?

Get some nice shoes in there. I kind of can't believe we just have to wear shoes still. Like wear your own shoes and do it. Totally, totally. What about when you, like, what's so much different about the bowling alley floor than like a basketball gym it's just wood right I don't know I'm sure it's something to do

with the slickness of the wood and the I don't know but it is just insane like we haven't it's like we talked about with like cop uniforms and like the flat brimmed hats like we haven't updated that bowling shoes

still 1962 Ronald McDonald's I haven't half shoes I mean what I'm so bad at it, dude. That's why I hate it. I'm so bad at bowling. And half the reasons is because I'm just like, when is it over? Man.

Like, I'll do it four times and after that, I'm like, okay, we went bowling, but like, how many times? Let's play another game. You are just impossible, dude. You're impossible. I think everybody's thinking it. Can you ever just like, can you ever just take a few plays off?

just sit I'm taking all the plays off I don't want to play you guys you can go ahead how about okay how about a handlebar bike we know you have that we said we would

and that's great but like have you ever done one would you ever do one I mean it just depends on it but like it could be fun but would I ever like actually want to do it no how long is the longest you'd want to be on that How many bars is the max? Rip it around the block.

I'm good after that. Nobody wants to go any farther than that. Jesus Christ, we have to go all the way back. You guys go ahead. I'll get off and walk. This show and this friendship is not good for my mental health. Everybody's thinking it, man.

You're the reason I question everything in my life. Yeah. it's probably a good thing because there's so many people like there's different people in my life other friends family obviously that they're all I'll express something to them but like nobody is thinking that

say it to you everybody's fucking thinking that dude I'm on your page if it's if it's going on in the back of your head I've been there I just want to hear one of the things you threw you tossed out there to your fan and they were like,

huh? Oh, chronic paranoia. I think everybody's out to get me. Totally. Oh, shit. I'm with you,

though, bro. I'm with you. I'm with you. Yeah. If you ever, if you're ever like, damn, I'm thinking the same thing.

it goes for everybody in the clubhouse not good not good uh let's get to some clubhouse here actually if you don't mind don't mind if we do again hit a quick break beer back yeah that's the best

best bit all right uh from Ryan subject line just Percy Harvin so up guys watch every episode since day one keep them coming thanks

I got to ask even though last week was game heavy what's a game that you and your siblings are friends made up as a kid oh wait we already did this one whoops sorry Ryan I appreciate it

could but I don't know why it's shown up as unread when we definitely did maybe it's one of those weeks that Ben had to I do do uh okay how about Joel no subject line and it just says remember those ESB and you college logos

that used to incorporate the team mascot into the actual logo. Bro. Yes. And that's all he had to say. You just sent a screenshot of those. It's all we need.

It's all we need. It's all we need. That was insane. Dude, I could just sit there and stare at like a, we'll be back. We'll be back up for the break. And it would be ESV and you.

And it would just be switching the logos. Mm-hmm. Yep. Just like, Oh my God. They got Mike to tie. in that one. Holy shit. I'm like, who made those and why?

I'm like, is that some intern making those? They're way too good. Yeah. I love, when ESPNU came out, I was like, whoa, this is going to change everything. Haven't watched it once. Haven't watched it once. The Pacers randomly played on ESPNU

and like, the thing is game three against the bucks. When? This year. On ESPNU? Like two weeks ago. It was they had like a, you know, it was the first round.

So they had a scheduling thing. And so they're on NBA TV and also ESPNU. He likes the Pacers. He's psyched for being up 3-1. Let's go Pacers. Can't figure out which NBA team he likes. Let me know if you find out. Let me know in the comments.

Some guy had somebody came out to me in the track this weekend. And, uh, he had a bag. And he was like, dude, he's like something about pro shop. Pro shop just got me like you got you. And I was like, yep, you know. Guys, guys in pro shops. Unstoppable duo.

Best thing ever. It's the best thing ever. Yeah, this one has like the Marshall Thundering herd. Got the horns coming out of the U with the at the bottom of the U. It has like a nose, you know, like the bullhorn nose ring. Love it. For every school, too, yeah. But it's always the school that you like that they didn't do it right.

I'm like, oh, I wonder what the Michigan one looks like, you know, just the school you like. And then you're just like, oh, that dang. Why can't my school ever be cool? Yeah, Michigan State probably rips. never fails never fails let's see ESPNU

ESPN news kind of bangor secondary TV stations ESPN news same 15 minutes of programming 48 times in a row I'll watch it for 48 times in a row

just gave you what you needed man I just want the facts they're like really it yeah like CNN of news like there's not many highlights it's like one of those it's like one of those things where they don't play like any video highlights it's all like pictures and they're like zooming on them yeah and out did sammy sosa hit a home run yes cool thank you that's all i need to know bye you are right about ESPN you though i feel like they are kind of like a little underutilized because there's

I think there's so many options of things they could do, you know? ESPNU, all the things about college that you can have on there, just some like the tailgating, the tradition, the food on the campuses, the,

what are we doing? That's why I thought that it initially was going to be. Maybe it is. You're right. I kind of don't really watch it unless like LSU's playing. Old football. The only time you watch ESPNU is when it's 11.03 p.m. and you're at a hotel.

LSU Auburn game from 2008. Yeah, that's not bad. It's the best. Things that you, things on TV that you want to go to sleep to. Go. Number one. I mean, maybe not number one,

but it's up there. Just an old football game. You already know the outcome. No surprise. You're just like, Oh shit, he did catch. He caught that? I thought he dropped that.

Kind of remember where you were when that was going down. Yeah. You know? Old football game, bro. What was I doing when that was happening? Old football game is pretty good. Baseball tonight from like 2005. That's probably my number one.

Baseball tonight from 2005. The Christmas Eve marathon of This is Sports Center commercials. Good. That's a good. I mean, dude. I'm actually a little too excited to go to sleep at that point. I know. That's why it's like an experience with you, though.

You know, because you know that you're going to view it, but also you got the excitement and then it does put you to sleep eventually. You kind of wake up a little bit, check the clock. It's still on. My face when I wake up. 3 a.m. December 25th. Dude, hey, the names are going down, the ESPN list. Merry Christmas

to all who I don't know what it says at the top My feet Yep Just watching Stuart Scott Pitch touchdown dances

to Chad Johnson Oh Oh Oh Oh Just go Just reloading Twitter Just to look at

like funny Christmas memes God Dude Christmas was four years ago What do What do you fall asleep to though? Right now? Yeah, what do you just like all of a sudden you just drop and that's when you sleep?

Pretty much I'll watch TikTok for like way too long before I go to bed. Probably like a little over an hour sometimes. Depends how tired I am. But I'll start watching. I'll start like really getting tired. Probably like really, probably kind of falling asleep. And then I'm like, all right. Yeah.

I just put my phone down. Make sure my alarm isn't set to PM 14 times. then I go to sleep. Wait, was that shut up him? Wait, was that turn on Pimp? What? Guy that's never slept. Swear.

My roommate says that too. He's like, dude, he's just go in your room and, like, just sit there. And then you, then he just get up and you go to the gym. When I go to sleep, it's pretty much like somebody shot me in the head. Like that's it. The only time I don't move. I don't just. The only time I remember Ben sleeping.

and we've done a bunch of overnights at radio, editing espresso videos, everything. At his apartment, at the station, a station, all that. The only time that I've ever seen or even had him hint that he was going to is he had to work the overnight Saturday shift, of course, the night before the Indy 500. I picked him up at like 6.30, 7 a.m. right after his shift to then go straight out to the track

at the 500. So he was up all night, up all the way through the race of the 500. We get into my car after the race is over. It's 2017. Takumasato won. And we're sitting in traffic. Who remembers that, bro?

Takumasato! Everybody. We're sitting in traffic inside the track, of course, and then outside of it forever. and Ben was like, you know, you care if I'd knock out real quick? I was like, yeah, my head, I was just like, this is insane. I didn't think he slept. I was like, yeah, dude, for sure.

Fucking pops back there and just crashed. Dead. Dead. Who's a dead guy in your car? We were in traffic for probably 45 minutes, slept that whole time, but then you're up immediately good to goal. I think we went to a graduation party after. I was like, all right.

That's all he needs. Many meatballs. I can't believe I stayed up that whole time. that's crazy. That's probably fun though. I think on the way to the track, I was like, you can sleep if you want to you're like, you had like two Starbucks cups.

You're just like dog at this point. What's it even matter? That's true though. Damn. Like what am I? Okay, cool. 40 minutes. What's that going to do?

I'd rather be up and say something stupid. Yeah. That was the, that was the, he ha, ho. Yeah, there we go. That was that one. That was that one.

It's when you're tired is when the best stuff happens, too. So I'm like, I'm in that zone of like, I don't even know what's happening. And who knows what, who knows what's going to happen? And that because we did that that year, next year, that was the birth of the sitting in traffic at the Indy 500 video where me and you were in the two front seats. Oh, when you're tired. When you're tired. All came full circle.

All came full circle. Dyes in two years of a heart attack. How do he die? He never went to sleep. this is from Hunter Hunter what's up Hunter are you a hauntie hunter

he says station know about Donard Robertson doesn't tie his cleats bro it's just never not funny because it's for everything Texas station should know about this uh this

This up, Bella's long time listener, first time email her. I was curious, what was the cringiest sports injury you've seen in person or on TV? For me, I'll never forget playing Little League baseball and in the on deck circle, saw the kid in front of me take a fastball straight to the face, broke his nose and pops and blood vessels in his eye. Coach tried to comfort me by saying, by patting me on the back and saying, don't worry, you'll be fine. Stop my ass with Ben Wallace's headband while playing around the world at the rich kids outdoor court.

God. I love this guy, man. Huntie, you are That's good We're one of the homies I feel like we grew up together or something Playing around the world man Tough game

But when you're hot Boy, were you hot Everything was going in That's insane There's always one kid I'm like God, does he always shoot like this? Or like, you know You're just good at some courts

Mm-hmm You know like With some ball Yeah it's like man That ball that ball that court I will not miss. That rim, a little softer. Yep.

Everybody has one court that they know and love, man. And my court was never like my driveway. Like my friends would come over to my driveway where I should have been, it should have been my court and they would have been, they were hitting like threes from the sidewalk. I was like, I've never even done that.

Jesus Christ. But I don't know, some gyms too just have a different feel. What do you say? Cringy sports injury? I've said it before. but Kevin Wary Louisville, I was there. Legs snapped. You would have thought

somebody got shot or something. Like, oh! Like, it was like a big deal, dude. And it was so bad that people had to get up and go to the bathroom. I remember like half of the arena was like, I'm... Yeah.

And you know, the worst part of the whole thing, you could smell it. Yeah I don't even know what that means But I know what it means Yeah yeah Yeah you could like It was like a different thing bro

Smelled like Can you describe it Like rust Or Um not rust It just smelled like I don't know dog Like I want to say like

Kind of like Farm smell I don't know why, bro. Like very, it just smelled like caveman era. I was like, that's a bone.

That smells like bone. Yeah, that one, that immediately came to mind as well. And it's like, yeah, it's nothing crazy because probably most people our age would say that,

but. McGahey injury. Ooh, bro. I remember I would like, I was scared to get on social media for a while after Kevin, because some people would, you know what I mean? Like you'd be scrolling and somebody would just post it just to be a dick.

And you're like, oh, I'm horrible at that stuff. Oh, Paul George, too. That's tough. Yep. Yeah. I was like, of course, dude. God. And it was like something easy.

Like, not a sports podcast, but the, like, the hoop was like eight inches like farther in. Yeah. Like, God. And it was for some like Olympic trials shit. it wasn't even And honestly like The pad in the

The pole and the goal The whole thing I'm like that is in the way Like it still is Yeah I'm like we can't like Do anything It is weird

Yeah it feels like That should happen Way more often Like every second Yeah When people dive into the crowd That's my favorite How do they not get hurt

You know Loose ball Face to a chair First row Popcorn flying lady gets a shoulder to the face. Everybody's okay every time. Shack, Kevin Garnett.

Time out. No, everybody's fine. I'm like, okay. Jesus. A video I love, it'll never get old, dude, is the the slow motion of that ball and the NBA going out of bounds. And yeah, the old lady sit right there.

And she starts to turn and it just gets a blitter. Dude, you could see her, her skin go back on her skull. It's so funny. Never gets old. It's so good, dude. Just right in the dome.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. One time Shaq was about to dive over the chairs and the whole son's bench was like, like they, bro, they dipped. Yeah. Like everybody was like, oh shit. Shaq Sons

Shack sons dude Hey what What team did Shaq? Remember when Shaq was on the Raptors? Shaq Celtics Remember when Shaq was on the Spurs? Everybody

Every team The most Mandela effect ever Remember when Shaq was on the Cavs actually was What? Cavs Celtics Shack Oh boy Celtics Shack

What is even That dude that dude of Minneapolis showed up to my show with a Shaq Celtics Jersey and I was like that is the hardest

like let's go so good um let's go to shack Nick's dude what do you when he said Shaq Spurs

I was like you can get anybody for a second on that shit shack pistons remember that because you're like you're like at the end I don't

He kind of was everywhere. It could have been like a 10-day thing. I don't know. That's funny. Let's go to William. It says Pittsburgh Toilet, Brown's Ravens TP, not included. What's up, Joey and Benny?

First time, long time. I'm 32 and grew up an hour outside of Pittsburgh. Went to Catholic school for five years and was your average three-sport playground star athlete, with no hopes of ever taking my talents on the road anywhere beyond high school. So the pot is always extremely relatable. to the Midwest upbringing I come from.

Okay, so same guy. Yes, sir. We're all just the same guy. So sitting in a local coffee shop working for the second straight day going on 48 hours without power after a nasty storm ripped through Western PA listening to the pod to keep the time going. Laughed out loud listening to Joey described his dream toilet

for the hangout area with the boys in the half wall for some gentlemanly privacy. I had to reach out. I know Joey's a huge Steelers fan and has Grace the Berg with his presence on many occasions and it's only fitting that he dreams of this toilet set up because there is a thing called the Pittsburgh toilet slash Pittsburgh potty.

That is exactly what Joey described. Clearly, Joey has some Jensar DNA that has guided his desire in the right direction. Benny, when are you going to come to a show in the burg? When you do, I'll be there with the wife despite her having no idea about any references in this pod and even less desire to understand them. Her loss. Keep doing your thing, boys. Slap my ass with a terrible towel soaked in hand barbecue sauce from a chip

chopped ham sandwich while I pose and downward dog at Gate B-35 for a Southville flight to Nap Town boarding position C-64. You're the best, man. Dude, that was amazing. Clutchy now. Let me look this up real quick here.

Pittsburgh potty. Faulty. Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. Pitchburg. Pitchburg. a toilet located in the basement of a house typically without any walls or other privacy

pair of pictures around it yep okay that sounds good gotta see a pick yeah Ben you gotta do a show in Pittsburgh I was in Pots Town I did a Pittsburgh show and it was

tight to tight time time we should probably both do one there honestly it's during the same yeah yeah that's a good call all right last one this week from Austin Catholic Mass walk-up song. Austin from New York City.

Hey guys, longtime listener of the pod, fellow Indiana guy now living in New York, tune in every Tuesday of my work community, Yankee Stadium. Tickies, hit me up. Maybe. If you had to pick one,

what Catholic Mass church hymn would you choose as your walk-up song? Not a music podcast. Personally, I'm either ripping sync to the mountains or Christ be our light. I think we'd both get the crowd going. In general, do you have any normal songs

that would be a lock for your walk-up music? Slep my ass while I let Danny and Tomlinson and ball flip sally in the back of the end zone after putting up seven touchdowns and 650 yards out of recess while my fifth grade crush watches before going back to math class absolutely drenched and sweat.

Same guy. You guys are all just the same guy. We live the same life. It's beautiful. White guys all over the world. We are one. Catholic Church walk-up songs if we were playing baseball and that was what you had to do.

Do you have one, Ben? I think I got a pretty good one. You go first. I always forget them. Go ahead. I know, I know, I know. Me too. I think something that would really be catchy and people get excited.

It doesn't have any tie-in. Maybe this can be my nickname. I don't know. But, Farrow, Farrow. Oh, baby. Let my people go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow.

The whole crowd. Farrow, Farrow. Oh, baby. That would be pretty cool. Wait, did you just make that up? No. we sang it at old RHS. Damn, I don't remember that one.

That's a heater. Yeah. Big clap, big crowd engagement poll. Yeah, that's what, yeah.

The church anthems, dude. I don't know. If it's, this is probably, this is probably against the rules, but I'd rip a song from, God,

what's it called? the Prince of Egypt Prince of Egypt Undefeated soundtrack The Plagues I'll listen to that when I work out I send the pestilence And plague into your house

Into your bed into you Upon your cattle Upon your streams Upon your sheets into your fat Dude That's a good That lead up That's uh

God Deliver us Deliver us dude. Deliver us. You're at the plate. Yeah. Top two soundtrack.

Tarzan, Prince of Egypt. Do not be afraid. I am with you. I have called you each by name. It's a good one. It's a good one, but not for a walk-up. I always got me hype.

Come and follow me I will bring you home Yeah it was kind of It had some sad tones in it too though I love you and you are mine Do do do do do do do do do We do need to make a top five list You kind of start thinking about shit

You know You start thinking about some real stuff with that one Eagle's wings wouldn't be bad Yeah, that's kind of like played out to me. Eagles wings. Everybody's all about Eagles wings. There's like 70 other songs that I'm like,

forget about that one. I just, it's just, I haven't been to church in 34 years. So I don't know. And every church has like their top five, you know. How great thou art is a big, powerful one. I'm just thinking of like strong.

powerful ones how great thou are um ale holy hallelujah Ave Maria real sad but like could be like

I don't know people could sing it real real easy with you those are the best walk-up songs the ones that the crowd gets into when you're walking up to it we need to make our top five church song

What are we waiting on? That's a good point. I don't know. All right. Team these guys at gmail.com. Appreciate you. Send them in every week. Love hearing from you.

Love having you a part of the show. Rate review on Apple Pods. Wherever you get your podcast, you can find us there. These guys Clubhouse on YouTube. Subscribe. Leave a comment. Watch us.

Throw us on while you're outside doing yard work, while you're in the garage, working on your Pittsburgh potty, while you're doing laundry, whatever it is. I'd love to have you on YouTube. Makes a show that much more fun, I think, when you're watching along with us. Go see Ben and Vegas coming up in a few weeks.

Ben? Yeah. Get your tickies. Vegas, May 24th, Nashville, June 13th, 14th. Baltimore, September 25th. More to come. Rate, review, leave a comment. Leave your church song, bro. and yeah

grab some merch got it all Love it Um Good deal Well as always Yeah We'll talk to you

Next week Love you Appreciate you Tim Lintcom God damn Roger Clemens You've been making You're a cat guy