THESE GUYS! - Nobody Knows the Refs

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

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He'll live in Living to tweet at me When I have a picture with my Jordan's on Fakes Pussy What a bully, bro What a bully That guy's crazy

These guys TG 81 Johnson What's up What's up bro? Every day, dude every day I want to film another Schmidian Johnson random football players video. That was a good poll out there for the draft.

When I got tagged by you on, I got tagged by you on Instagram, I was like, this is weird. Not, I mean, not uncommon, but I was just like,

it was out of nowhere, you know, I hadn't gotten a text. I was like, what the hell is this? And I looked and saw it and I was like, ah, yeah,

that plays, that plays for sure. Even my sister was like, we need a part too. I was like, yes. I yeah part two for sure I kind of want to do one I might just do one on my own

where it's just refs I think I might have mentioned that just like you you can you can hey you can talk about players yeah but are you really in can you name the refs well Carl Chippers okay that's Craig Rollstad for me it's you know who it is

it's a hockey league I'm team hockey Cleep Bikman bro that is funny because nobody knows the refs dog nobody knows like can we get a third

but people would that's what that's what that's what would happen is like you would rip them off and people would be like oh my god that's the one kind of chubby guy

yeah you got to throw some pictures up there dude that's the one guy that when he does holding I always think that he's going to point to our team but then he starts this way and then he brings it back Oh, does he? Is he fucking doing that?

You think he's doing it on purpose? Oh. You could really jack with like a fan base, dude. Like when they don't know like who's got the ball during like a big fumble pile up, dude, you could be like. Some of those refs just taking their sweet-ass time, dude. I need a 30 for 30 on like the life of a ref.

Like I want to see the come up. Like bro, bro is fighting his way up and Juko. Then, you know, he did the. Fiesta Ball. Look at them now. It does it does kind of just seem like they just literally appear out of nowhere and are created.

Like they don't have a childhood. They don't have an adult life. Just all of a sudden they just show up and they're in stripes and their refs. Oh yeah. Just like boom. They that when they're born, they're just 39. Yep.

Yep. Just stripes. I think about that a lot. though. It's weird to get you like, not only in professional sports, so I'm like, who is being a high school referee? Dude, it might start from like, remember, I think you might have done it a couple times. You know, you ump a couple games in the summer for some money when you're in like fifth grade. And then you just keep going. Oh, yeah, I reft a basketball game at St. Simon over the weekend. You're like, oh, wow, he's just doing it for like for beer money.

Totally. But it was such a horrible experience. when I was 17 umpiring games for like nine year olds then I was just like who in their right mind would want to put themselves through this on a weekly basis at like a high level. But if you're the ref everybody likes like it's kind of dope. But how easy is it to be the ref that everybody hates?

Real easy. But I don't know man. It's just part of the job bro. It's just like being a cop, you know? Nobody likes you. I could see I was going to say I could see your dad being a ref but then I

I walked it back immediately Um yeah No I can see that Guy nobody likes You're dead on actually You're dead on Hey where are you gonna be here Johnson Let's push some takeies

Push and takeies pushing takeies Syracuse May 30th end of the month Um That's gonna be a fun one Columbus, June 13th. That's going to be good to all ticks, benedictipolice.com or

right under here. Dude, Columbus was, when I went there last year, it was so fun, man. I had a great time. I can't wait. I can't wait, but. You absolutely should as well. Yeah, Kansas City.

Kansas City. Thursday night, gonna be slapping some barbecue sauce and all y'all. Funny Bone and Kansas City tickets, available, like Ben said, everywhere on my website on social is right below here as well.

On the next week, Minneapolis, St. Paul, Tuesday, May 7th, and then Chicago, May 15th, Green Bay, May 16th. All tickets is available, official joeymolynero.com.com.com. Hot lineup. And watch Lovers and Liars. C.W. every Thursday.

Oh, yeah. Dude, it's heating up, bro. It's heating up. The girls are mean. I was going to say, do you like, you like lead life because of the perks that it got, but like, did you like lead life when the cameras are on? It's nice having like the ball on your court all the time, you know?

Everybody's got to come to you. Knowing the fact that I can't get eliminated feels good. You know what I mean? It's just like, okay, well, thank God. But like at the same time, bro, you're just getting roasted left and right. It's like, all right. Jesus Christ. I think my favorite part would be just, yeah, the fact that like when you walk into the room for, you know, like the nightly social with cocktails or whatever, like you can just go and plant your happy ass on a couch and then everybody just comes to you.

That is nice. The women that are interested. You don't got to do the whole bullshit, you know, hey, can I steal you real quick? Hey, can I grab you? Hey, can I, can we chat for a second over here? You don't have to do any of that. you're totally in charge. That would be,

that's a weight off my shoulders, bro. It was so awkward being like, hey, can I talk to you? Like, who does that? Who does that? Hey, bro,

can I talk to her for like two minutes? Then the guy's got to be like, yeah, whatever. It's like, shut up, bro. You know that he's going. You know Mercedes is going over

talking shit about you. Every time. But it is, yeah, it is a relief. Because it's like, I guess I'll just post up on this couch all night.

But dude, but I got into trouble because I'd be like, I don't want to keep sitting here. I feel like Santa claws at the mall or something. You know what I mean? I was like, can we get up?

Can I walk around? I was like, I can't just sit here the whole time. Yeah, grab your steady cam. Guys, we're doing a walking shot. One of these, one of these cameras. Dude, I got to be moving. I can't every time. I can't sit.

I can't be stationary for this. This is painful right here, bro. I got to walk around, dude. It's like me on the phone. Oh, hey. I'm gone. You on the phone? you on stage

Oh on stage I'm everywhere too I've kind of noticed that Because I've watched back My last handful of sets and stuff And I've noticed that as well I'm a mover Because I'm just like

I mean if you're just like Standing there It's like you're reading to people I don't know Right What am I a priest And I like I kind of This is fucking nerdy

Inside comedy But like I like giving to the crap Like I feel bad for the left side sometimes. So let me fucking do this. And oh, yeah, I haven't looked at this guy in a while. Let me. Right.

And some people like that you get there, you can feel their energy and you like it. And it's just like, I'm not just going to fucking. Yep. Exactly. Come on. It's like those priests. Like you said back in the day, the homily, man. Like the guys who went up and down the aisles, those are the people pleasers.

Bro. Imagine the first, the first priest that went. up and down the aisle, dog. You know there's a priest in the crowd like, oh, this dude's crushing right now, dog. Dude, everybody. This dude's about to get so many blessings after the show, bro. They've never seen,

they've never seen anything like it before. Some of the old school moms are a little kind of like, like put their nose down at it, you know? I don't know. I don't know if he's in it for the right reasons. I just don't know about Father Rich. He's walking around all the time. What does he think this is?

stand-up show. He's giving out gummy worms at the end of the mass. Who does this guy? He's getting all the kids on his side. I don't like it. Secretly in love with him. You can only do that though

if you had a church to where it was like the aisles it wasn't just a main center aisle and then like some side ones like the old school churches. You know what I mean? It has to be like one of those like octagon churches that has like, yeah, it's like a web. You know, it's like it's like tentacles from a squid that you can go up and down everything.

People can kind of turn a little bit and catch up with you. Dude, just say OLG, bro. Just say OLG. I was thinking Francis and Claire, man. SFFC, bro. SFFC. Dude, hey, on some, on some personal family shit, dude, dude, dude. We took Christmas Eve Mass so seriously.

we went to St. Princess and Claire just for Christmas Eve. Like on some, ooh. It's a Christmas. It's a Christmas. It's a Christmas. The mess. Destination church?

Yeah. It's, you know, that's the, it's like the birthday dinner, you know? You only go there probably once a year and you are looking forward to it. And you really savor every minute in there.

You might even get a new shirt for that, you know? We're going to. It's like the decorations are so like on point. Giant fucking Christmas trees everywhere. Every corner, huge Christmas tree. In the right part of town. In the rich part of town, you're like, oh my God.

The most poinsettas you've ever seen in your life. Like cleared out Home Depot or Sullivan Hardware. I mean, just cleared it out. Yeah, where do they, dude, the church really goes off during, yeah. I don't know. This is all I think about. So we need to probably stop talking about. it. Hey, one more thing. And you know the thing you wear to that, like that Matt, that Christmas

Eve mask? It's the same thing you wear on Christmas when you go to like to your grandmas. It's just the same clothes. Oh, yeah. It's like the Christmas fit. Yeah. Christmas fit. Dude, you bring it out like 14 times in three days. You're like, yeah, it's my Christmas shirt. All right. Right. Anyway, or green or a little bit of both or like a or like a, or like a, a thick-ass gray sweater with like a plaid undershirt. That's the one, bro. They're talking about Christmas

and it's literally summer. They won't shut the fuck up. Okay. Okay, producer Ashley. Hey, you know what, Clubhouse and producer Ashley? We have been on a hiatus of Christmas talk. We owed ourselves a little Christmas talk today, right?

Dude, I do that thing where when it's the NFL draft, I release all my Twitter drafts. and there are about 24, like, half-written tweets about Christmas. Like, the way, like, I just had a tweet in there. I wanted to fire off so bad that was like 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. Worst time ever, like on Christmas. I was like, damn, the way I want to send that out, only one person would get it.

Yes. I don't know, though, man. It's kind of disappointing. Like, it's great, but it also sucks because Clubhouse the past, like, year or two is really caught on. So I'll check my Instagram or check Twitter or whatever And it'll be like 235 on Christmas And it'll just be somebody like Tim It's like it's over

Oregon Duck fan That's all it'll say See you next year Oregon Ducks fan fuck And at the same time I'm like yes At the same time I hate you I know I'm like I get it I love that you're into it

But like damn you're so right And like the tone of their tweet Will be like sad too You're like fuck Maybe throw one of those emojis that kind of like the eyes looking down like oh that's a sad emoji bro my heart you get one of those from anybody

hey I can't make it oh it's all good wow guess I'm crying now yeah I guess I'm sad for the rest of the day one emoji it's just like it's one emoji but it can be one emoji but it could be one text it can be one punctuation in a text

that'll just completely fuck with me the rest of the day. The period on a normal taxid period at the end. I'm like, why are you mad? I still can't figure. This is one I can't figure out. Ha ha. All good.

Period. Period? You threw the ha ha in there. You're saying it's all good. The period? But is it? Dude, the period changes everything. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?

The period is the end of the sentence and it makes you feel like it's the end of our relationship. Dude, yeah, what are you doing? Writing a fucking thesis statement over there? Like, it's a text, a period? Dude, I can't remember the last time I even wrote a period. I just can't get over how our dads text us. It's insane, isn't it? So many dashes, bro.

My dad's the dash king. My dad's not the dash king. He's the writing email as a text king. Oh, what's that? Like fucking signing his name at the end. I'm like, okay, it's not a civil war letter.

600 ellipsies, 600 dot dot dot dots. At the end, dad. I got you saved, big dog. Had your number for 16 years. I've had your number since cell phones were invented.

Let me just pull up some here. Yeah, same, same. This is going to be so funny. your dad's always every time I catch your dad you know coach peace face pop up in your phone it's just like hey B hey this is the last

the last text from my dad it's record the draft and watch Ben's show night picture of a pizza I'm like that's kind of fire actually hey that pizza looked nice dude Papa John's kids that's the work show that again

show that again oh that's the work with a little pepper up top too. Dude, mushrooms on there for sure. That pop a for sure mushrooms. That Papa John's pepper. I don't know what about.

I think my favorite. Just love it. I think my favorite is his stupid-ass foot. Is it the bottom of it? I think. No, it's not. Damn it.

It's the shadow. But damn, that would be. Oh, I thought that was a sock, bro. Is it? Oh, no, it's not. Dude, that's this.

It's not. I, I wish it was, bro, because you know, his sock would be a cartoon sock and it'd have a bunch of, like, it'd have a bunch of sock at the end. The big toe would be flopping around. The Hey Arnold's sock. The OT sock. Inside baseball.

Yeah, like my, I think it's just the format of my dad's text. Like, I'm like, do you hit Enter? Like, do you hit Return? and then start a new thing. Yeah. Because look at how, like, look at how this looks. Oh, yeah. He's, he's a line left.

We are in win now mode. Enter. We have two QBs that are good. Enter. Drafting him there does not help us win now. Just so analytical, dude. But he's a line left gang for sure, bro. Capital letters.

He's a professional. Yeah, he's a, I did it was a road trip this past weekend it was just me and my parents which is crazy you know to Bledsburg

when does that ever happen you know and yeah went out there to to Pittsburgh God dang dude is your mom insane in the car as well I think she's

pretty chill Yeah Nobody's really insane We've taken so many road trips It's like what's your mom do What's your mom do? Man she's just I mean

She just Doesn't know how Well what's wild Is that she always wants to drive Right She wants to drive Because she has such bad And anxiety

And gets so nervous When somebody else is driving On the interstate That she wants to be in control But then even when she is in control And like there's like a safety barrier like right next to us, you know, and then maybe there's a truck passing us.

She's like, oh, who, who, who. I'm like, mom, just slow down a little bit. You know? Yeah. I don't know, man. But she always wants to drive. But then she'll tell my dad to drive, right? She'll tell my dad to drive because she wants a break or whatever.

And then my dad will drive. And the second we get on the interstate, if he's not locked into the road, Joe fucking eyes on the road. What's he doing? Like picking a song? Maybe picking a song. like I was like I don't know he'll like look off to the side and see that there's like some bullshit on the side of your dad your dad is a good Joe eyes on the road

your dad'll keep the convoy going on a road trip dude yeah but your mom keeps him in check that's that sucks that's she's from the bad you know it's in the back seat she's a backseat she's a backseat driver like no other I'm like it's like eight crazy nights dude we just need to strap her down like to where she can't see anything just strap her down on her back in the back seat so she can't look at how fast my dad's going so she can't see what car is in front of us

5,000 yards away go slow down does she sleep in the car hell no dude absolutely not are you too anxious see you oh I will crash out in 0.5 seconds man yeah me too man that's how my mom is

I was driving from Florida to Indiana my mom was in the car and so was chiller. Dude, my mom just slept in the backseat the whole time. I was like, hell yeah. Let two stupid-ass 24-year-olds just drive her to India. It was crazy. I was like, all right.

Not my mom, dude. She's locked in. She got too much anxiety. So she can't sleep because she's afraid that like, you know, she goes asleep. Don't get into a wreck because she wasn't there to say, just slow down. Man, I don't care about that at all. Hey, if we wreck, we wreck, bro. might as well be sleeping might as well be catching up on some z's

it's just too easy to sleep in the car oh no so it was it was insanity just you know it's so weird when you're the oldest and you have your younger siblings and you know now I'm married and I've got kids and there's a whole bunch and then when you just get the parents one on one you know it's a really different it's a really different experience

but it was cool Pittsburgh was great draft was awesome I got this hat what you think of this fire hat fire hat yeah rice piss because I just have too many hats so after this I literally have to go throw away 10 of them in my closet what? Yeah that's gonna be a tough

decision bro how are you gonna pick 10 hats I don't know it is it is tough but I mean I just you know, it gets on me, but I'm like, it's just like, I feel like ladies with like shoes or like purses or bags, you know? Because she looks at this, she's like,

don't you already have six Steelers hats that look exactly like that? I'm like, just because they all have the Steelers logo and like half of them have like the white top on it doesn't mean it's the same hat. They're all different. Yeah, it's the different fit. It's a different, everything matters on a hat.

But that's how guys, that's how guys look. at purses. We're like, bro, you got six of those. You're throwing shit in them. What's the? Yeah, exactly. Best Steelers logo of all time. It was one of those like, you know how, I don't know how they do it, but like, uh, new era or whoever does the hats can like make their own logo sometimes. I don't know how they do it. But it was the Steelers P and inside the P was the, the logo with the diamonds. Coolest Steelers out of ever seen in my life. I don't know. I think,

you know what I'm talking about. Limited a dish. Limited a dish. Yeah, I almost got a, I almost got a, it was like one of those like rad like 90s like starter kind of looks. You know when they'd have kind of almost like the lightning bolts. Like it was a white hat.

Yeah. It had black and yellow like black lightning bolts or like zebra stripes almost with the Steelers logo on it. And I took this one and I took that one over to my mom in the pro shop. I was like, which one? She's like, that's hideous, that one. I was like, it's kind of cool, though. The hideous one is the one you want.

It's like, it's kind of cool. So at the same time, I'm like, I don't see myself just wearing that to like target on a Tuesday during football season. Like, that'd be kind of crazy. It'd be kind of hard, though. Don't, don't be, that would be kind of crazy, bro. I've seen you wear like three Steelers jerseys at once with like a gold chain. I was like, hell yeah, bro.

Hell yeah. Stupid. It's just like, it's just good. No, I did. So I was, I was out there because I was doing Cam Hayward's podcast. He had a live show. And it was just like, it was cool. I know I was glad to be there and like very thankful.

But it was just one of those who are like, I was the only non-Steeler's player that was a guest. That's cool. But like everybody was probably, did people think you play? people didn't give a buck, dude. Oh, really? Was he the kicker? It sucked, dude.

Was he the long snapper in 92? I know there was people in the crowd who, like, did know who I was just because I've been out to Pittsburgh and that's so many Steelers games and Pittsburgh for so much stuff. And by the same time, like the first, like, the first five rows were all just like old-ass Jensers who were just died. hard Steelers fans and just were there to see their stillers. Like, so.

Powers crew. What I came out, dude, it was, uh, yeah, it was, you know, it was one of those, like, you just get up there and do your time and get off. But, uh, what are you going to do? You know, hey, at least you know, at least you know. Oh, yeah, dude. I'm there and my parents got to come, right? And so they're all excited because we're backstage.

and backstate, we got to meet all the Steelers draft picks from this year, you know, Peyton Wilson, Zach Frazier, Roman Wilson from Michigan. All super cool dudes. Got to meet, got to me and talk to Jalen Warren, our like other running back with Najee, great guy, gave my mom a hug, swell dude. But I'm just like, I've seen the writing on the wall, you know, and I'm sitting there and I'm kind of like, I'm kind of geeking out a little bit just because I'm like, God damn it, dude, this is going fucking suck, dude.

Like, my parents all are trying to, you know, they get me pep talk and everything. And no, no. And so I go out there and came like, you know, introduces me. And I go out and I like, I'm waving my terrible towel. And people are just like, huh? Well, dude. Well, now you're, now you're, you know,

you got the tough crowd, bro. Now they know you. Yeah. Yeah. But it was just, I knew you would get a kick out of it. Just like 60. year 60 year old ladies and like the the the steeler fan that has like the you know the guy that has the helmet hat that looks like the helmet but it's not a full helmet it's just like the lid

and he wears the shoulder pads oh yeah he was there dude he was in like the fourth row so i'm just like dude these people have never been on the internet in their life they have no idea who i am i don't care they were probably just happy you're there bro. But we, you know, we had fun and whatnot, but it was, it was still cool. I was still glad and thankful to, like, get the invite. But it was just one of those. It's like,

man, you know, my parents are like, this is the best thing ever. I'm like, it's not. It's, it's really not. Yeah. You don't fit in. You get it. I get it. Yeah, yeah. Walked past James Harrison afterwards and was just like, please don't kill me.

How wide is he? Wide. Wide and short. Strong as human. Arms, the size of my torso, literally. What is going on with that, dude? I just remember watching his workouts on Instagram, like, like, what?

Didn't he go to the Ravens for a second? No, he went to the Bengals. Sad. And he knows he had like two sacks or something. worst year ever and then he came back to the Steelers how was that did he do anything when he came back yeah he actually had a little bit of resurgence

he like say he came back in his first game he like uh not his first game but the next game back it was Ravens on Sunday night football and he chased down Joe Flacko and sacked him and Collins Earth was going crazy and yeah the Steelers bringing back all their old players

that's hilarious black visor. Oh, so only for him, dude. Anyways, what you've been up to? When are you coming home? Anyways. After we talk about Steelers shit for 40 minutes. I'll just give you the rundown, bro.

That's what we talk about. Anyways, we don't even like the Steelers, but I don't know. I'm going to, I'll be back soon. We got to do, we got to do a Johnson-Schmidt video before I blow my head off. dude. Only reason you come back. Yeah. Family, no thanks. Johnson Schmitty, bro, I just want to knock when I...

I just want a wheeze laugh for the love of God. It is always a very fun. The whole experience is always very fun. It's the thumbnail picks for me. The writing, they're coming up with them. Yeah. Inside Johnson and Schmitty. Yep. It has been a while.

I'm just still so glad we got Donald fucking Driver to comment on it. That's the silver lining right there. I'm like, oh, this is going to be a bomb. And then like just some weird NFL player just random. I'm like, perfect. All I needed. Donald Driver, bro. I did well.

It did well on Twitter. Donald Driver is Monday night football. Oh, yeah. There's just a few players that would always just show up on Monday night football. Donald Driver always popped off. Yeah, and they're all Packers. Because they played every Monday night. Packers around again.

Sneaky Packers podcast right here. Absolutely, man. Green Bay, February, or May 16th, stay there. I just want to do it. I just want to do a show on the, I just want to go to Lambo Field and just be on the 50-yard line. Just sit there. Is there snow angel? Snow angel in the summer.

Just imagining a cold last night at Lambo. It would be perfect. Yeah, I, oh, real quick, and another pushing tickeys. Now that's the last week. Now it's the last week. May 21st, into Unites for St. Jude,

hosted by me. It's going to be James Hinchcliff, Colton Hurd, Quentin Nelson, all going to come out on stage with me, conversations, cocktails, all for a great cause, live music after. So it's going to be split in two. It's going to be like the first half is going to be us up there shooting the shit, hanging out, having some laughs. Then the end is going to be live music for everybody

to enjoy to kind of hang out, have drinks, plenty of silent auction items, all proceeds from the ticket sales from all the silent auction. All goes to St. Jude's Children's Hospital, May 21st. Tuesday at the Vogue. We did the Vogue show last year, night with Joey Molanero and friends, It's kind of running back a similar thing, but different and all for an awesome charity. So if you're in the indie area coming in for the 500 or if you just live here as is, I'm sure a lot of you who listen are, we'll love to have you. Tickets, 35 bucks. But then also there's a $70 ticket, VIP available.

You get tabletop, you get two drink tickets, you get a dedicated waitress or waiter server. Sorry. And, yeah. get like your own like section obviously VIP and for what it's worth I come around and say hi to you and take a pick or do a video or whatever the hell you want sold me bro first should have led with that may 21st at the vogue for st. Jude children's hospital really really looking forward to it really means a lot to me and all of it is going not in my pocket not in anybody's pocket just to St. Jude to for those families

in need so hopefully see you guys there. But that's half time pushing tickeys. Tickies with joy joy down. What's, uh, not to get too deep. Do it. Do it.

But are you like are you out there forever? Like are you like are you ever coming back? Um, I mean all my shit's out here. So dude, I don't yeah, yes, I'm out here forever. I mean, who knows.

But for the time being, yeah. I mean, I don't have an apartment or anything like back in Indiana. Like, it's, I don't have anything back there. It's to somebody else now. Bro, isn't that said? That is crazy. That really sucks. You know when you, like, you move away from your, like, childhood home and your mom,

like, you drive by your house, like, 10 years later and your mom's, talks a bunch of shit about it. Oh, yeah. That's like me now. Like if I ever go back to, I'm going to like look at my apartment and be like, oh my God, they took the fan down. Ill. They painted that wall.

Yeah, it pops up on Zillow like a few years later and you're like just want to see. You have no interest, but you're just like, oh my God. Oh, my God. They totally destroyed our kitchen that we put so much work into. They kept the moss wall up. Good for them. That's about the only thing. Yeah, that's a sad.

day, man. That is a really weird nostalgia. Yeah. Like old houses that you once lived in or old apartments that you wants to live in. It's so weird. They put that chair on the porch. Dude, your mom will never talk more shit than when she drives by your old house. It's so funny. They painted the shutters red. But like, I don't even think, like, if given the opportunity to go back into your place that used to live in here, would you? Not to move in there, but they're just like, go in there for to walk around or to have a drink or something. Yeah. Just to see. Just to talk about it on this podcast.

Like, I don't know, man. You don't know if you could? I don't, I don't think I could. I'm like once I leave something like that, it's a weird like,

man, if I go back, then this, all these like floods of memories will come back. Oh, yeah. And the, the fact that like somebody else is living in there now,

you know, and it's like, I never go. going back to that place. Like, it's a weird mental fuck for me. Yeah, it would get me fucked up. Like, uh, like going in the elevator and like, oh, shit, I used to walk in this door. All the, yeah, that would give, that would get sad.

I would probably cry. The smells, dude. Well, dude, no, no, that was, that's what would get me is that it'd be a totally different smell because you'd be like, oh, fuck, I definitely don't live here anymore. It's like not the same, like, it doesn't hit you the same. Oh. But like if one of my. Crazy is that when you go.

Go ahead. No, you go. No, it's like, but I tried to get somebody that I know to move in. Just to like keep it alive, you know what I mean? On some weird shit. Yeah. It's like Han given Lando the Millennium Falcon, you know? It's like it's your baby.

You know you have to move on to leave, but you want somebody else to kind of handle it for a little bit. Make sure it's in good care. Yeah. Like don't, don't. Yeah. Plus it was, I thought it was just talking about my old apartment so dumb, but I thought it was too good

to just give away to somebody, you know? I was like, I want to like, you know. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was, it was just, it was perfect. It was, it was perfect for the situation for that time and your life for everyone's like, at my life. We had some moments up there, dude. We had some moments up there.

This is a birth of espresso. Ooh. Up in that spot. Crazy. I started drinking coffee at that spot That see that that kind of shit'll get me dude Hey some people are like you know That's the first house that I did cocaine at you know

That's where I started doing drugs I remember I had my first drink I'm like ah that's where Ben showed me coffee Yeah Hey Grande Pike bro try it out Might be kind of hot at first Just warning you I remember saying that I'm like you don't drink coffee you

I was like you know I drink coffee You're like mature and like shit What the fuck? I thought I was coming down with the flu. It's like, you know, when you dip for the first time, and at first you're like, oh, I'm fine. And then all of a sudden it like hits you, you're like, oh, I think I'm going to puke.

I had a chance. I was doing the show in Hartford, and I was catcalling at the end, and I was like, damn, dog, you look like you'd let me bum a zen off you. Guy had a zen. And at that moment on stage, I was like, do I actually put this in my mouth right now? they probably were yelling for you too, right?

And they're like, I was thinking back, I should have done it, bro, but I would have been so sick for the rest of the night. I just didn't even want to. Zinnies are a little,

little different. Like, I think you could have gotten away with it. It's, it's, you know. Yeah, I know.

It's like a watered down version. My dumb ass was thinking about the timing. And I was like, how am I going to like hold all these things at once and open this can? Like, I was,

probably being a bitch, but, uh, yeah. No, that was a, that was a good, that was a good, uh,

that was a good cat call. Sorry I had to, uh, plug my computer in here. No, bro. Get that thing juiced. Hey,

we got any, uh, clubhouse? Hold on. You good, bro, you good. La da da da de de da da da da da.

That, had classic little bitch charger here. Hey, I'm on the, I'm on the laptop where, if it's not plugged in, it's going to shut off in 13 seconds.

Man, and that's the worst? What kind of bullshit is that? I do expect so much out of a laptop, though. You know? I'm like, okay, just bought a laptop for how much are they? Like, $1,500? Probably.

Just bought a laptop for $1,500. Why do I think it's like it's going to have the longevity of like a car? I'm like, this will last me 10 years, you know, it'll be like top speed. It'll be great. You know, maybe I can trade it in down the line.

Bro, laptops are good for like a year. Well, yeah, you think that because, you know, you'll go on Twitter or you'll see like,

hey, what you have in your phone right now is more than the first Apollo team had to go to the moon or to go to space. It's like, yeah, and you're like,

okay, so should be good then. Yeah. It's go to space. You should have some, lifetime on this. Yeah, exactly. That's why. Except for I get a notification on my fucking space shuttle phone every two seconds. Storage low. I'm like, can we figure this out? Hey, how about when your laptop, it's at like 67%? You're like, oh, this is a pretty solid amount. You're doing something, editing a video, whatever, just fucking shuts off. One of the scariest moments. That's so nerdy, but like, bro, I will freak out. if my computer shuts off, like during something. And I didn't save it every 10 seconds.

I had a bad one in college, bro. I was writing a research paper. Whole entire library. Whole entire library power shut off. And I was like, that's not even my dumbass fault. And then I had to rewrite the paper. Bro, what? No, at that point, see, that's the difference between you and me, I guess, is at that point,

I just would have chalked it up and said, I'm just not supposed to do it. and I'm just going to take it and figure it out because I'm not putting myself back through all of that. That's an act of God. He doesn't want me to do this research paper. No, I get that. But like the circumstance,

and I follow those rules too. I'm like, that's a sign. But it was the last, it was the final paper. And I had like a C. So I was like, bro, this is do or die. Yeah.

I was like, I got to remember what I wrote at 2 a.m. well man all nighter I was in the library at the time where like there's a guy playing like dungeons and dragons you know like when you're at that hour in the library it's time to go home yeah someone some weirdo who's probably definitely looking up porn on a public computer

you're like I don't know here yeah you got to give it to him though for using his resources he had like Cheetos and stuff I was like pretty nice setup putting folders up You remember you had to put folders up as like guards to not cheat? That was, dude. Trust me, I can get around a five-star folder. I need those when I eat.

I'm going to bring folders into Chipotle next time I go there. And then you're going to steal all of their silver plastic wear. In the folder pockets. Bro, I always had the shittiest folders growing up. They're talking about school supplies again. Shut up, Ashley. Dude, I can't believe. I can't believe that you were a library guy for research papers.

I don't know why I just, I locked in more in the library. The internet was blazing. No distractions. It was kind of like being in a coffee shop, even though that's annoying as fuck. But it was quiet. Like, I don't know. It was just kind of the smell a little bit too. And it was like the AC was always real.

like you were you had to bring a hoodie you know like you're getting kind of cozy in there hoodie for sure yeah yeah did have to bring snacks like you're going to be there for a while i get that actually yeah that is kind of like once you just accept it and you're just like this is going to be like a six or seven hour run here and you just load up you got a little bit of snack you got headphones you got you know a couple monsters or a couple coffees or whatever yep see i can't write a paper on my laptop in my dorm room, bro. I'll start watching TV. You know,

you got cable busing in the dorm room. You got, you're doing all types of other. I got to go to the cafeteria. You're not doing shit in there, dude. Somebody pops their head in. Yeah, you want to go pick up some dip? Yeah, you got your roommate, your dorm roommate. Like, shut the fuck up, bro. Like, I can't deal with you right now. I got to

like do this in seven hours. I don't know. Dude, the the college research paper dip. that's an all timer yeah see you later hey that that is a reason I'd get up and leave you know I gotta get another can

from the gas station piece of shit piece of shit but it was so great dude you're in there you got your little styrofoam cup of coffee that's empty you got your chew

hey typing absolutely nonsense what the fuck am I doing dude and now this is what we do all for that This is what we do. When I was doing this, the only thing I was thinking in my head was like, God,

I just want to do this. Yeah. But I got to get through this. So I'm going to go get some more mint Copenhagen. Yeah, dude. That's so insane to me to think about you. And I remember I was there for it multiple times.

Like you chewing tobacco. That is absolutely insane. Was I? Yeah. The bin I know now and have known for, while to think back to like 2012, 2013 Ben and like

throwing in some chew chilling crazy. Living to chill bro. Me in 2012 live into chill. He'll live in living to tweet at me when I have a picture with my Jordan's on

fakes. Pussy. What a bully, bro. What a bully. That guy's crazy. Hey, hey, the thing is, that guy will come back. Everything comes back, bro. Fakes.

Shut the fuck. Did I really on a tweet? Twitter, Instagram, bro. Yeah, absolutely. Man, that is so savage. Now I just DM you and be like, you sure those are real? I never, I've never been more excited.

I got this pair of Jordans that I bought with my own. money. And what were they? Post a picture with them. It was like 2012, 2013 Instagram where you would post like bullshit like that was like a weird filter, you know,

not give a fuck having 11 likes, you know, you just didn't care. Didn't affect your mind. You know, post that so pumped about it, thinking it's so tight. Ben, fakes.

Hey, the bigger, the big brother I never had, truly, the big brother I never had. Yeah, actually. That's rude,

but like, brother, somebody's got to tell you. You know? Hey, it was all out of love, bro. It was all out of love. I know. I know.

All right. Let's see who we got. Man, if you could dig up that Instagram picture with the comment, that would be an all-time post. Happy birthday to me. Dude, the haircut picture lives on forever, though.

Oh, that's a great one. Crazy, crazy moment. Yeah, let's talk clubhouse. We're getting two in. For Matthew, NFL basketball. Dear Ben and Joe, you guys are playing against each other in a three-on-three pickup basketball game at Rucker Park. Crazy.

Game is to 21 by ones and twos. You get to pick one current NFL player and one former NFL player in their prime as your teammates. To quote Joe the show Jackson from NBA Street, who are you going to take on this ride with you player? My picks are Michael Irvin because of his impressive play and Adam Sandler's the longest yard. And Patrick Mahomes because I'm a Chiefs fan

and I kind of have to pick him. my ass with a 1998 Green Bay Packers Media Guide with Mr. Favre on the cover. Bro, that's a really good email. Joe the show. Who are you going to take on this ride player? Oh my God. Yeah, it is.

That is. Come on, come on, come on. Um, okay. One current NFL player. Damn, dude. Who is the guy that was just in the All-Star game? Michael Parsons Bro

Parsons and Pooka No Actually I don't really know Because I don't know how those NFL player hoops But back in the day Like a former NFL player I'd one of my three on three team

At Rucker Park would be Terrell Owens Oh Because he He played in a celebrity game And like Dominated And I was like

He might be Better at this I think it was an MTV game And the rims were on nine feet But he was like Unstoppable and I was like Okay him But current I don't know

Who would be a good shooter in the NFL? I don't know I'm racking my brain right now NFL guys can't shoot anymore Because they lift so many weights You know like you remember lifting like heavy weight And then shooting a basketball It's like yeah

your arc is like non-existent. Lion drives. You don't have that Curtis Reeser arc on your shot. That's for the real clubhouse. That's just for Dan Lack. Let's be honest. Hi-ha-ho, Dan Lauer.

Yes, sir. Damn, Trones is good. I'd stick with that one if I were you. Let's collab on this, bro. Oh, okay, okay. Just because I don't want your team to be mine. That's why I want to collab.

I'm going, I'm going past player, Antonio Gates. Oh, God. Got me. Antonio Gates is my past player. And then I'm thinking I need like, this is going to sound crazy.

Good. I think. even though he had a horrible rookie year, not all to his doing. Actually, you know what? No, I'm going, Antonio Gates and current player, C.J. Stroud. Nice.

Why him, why C.J. Stroud just looks like a hooper? Well, he is. They've shown, like, highlights and stuff from when he was in high school. And he was a beast. And he's, like, 6'4. He could be, like, a slasher and a ball handler.

And Antonio Gates is just, like, your power forward. He's just going to bully people. and also be skilled around the basket and like give a little David West like has he 12 foot jumper that's unguardable. Damn, why can I think of anybody current Mo Alley Cox?

Like, who am I? I mean, he's huge. I think he played basketball. I'm just thinking about guys in the NFL draft that milk typeer is like, he played basketball. Like, that's the only thing. Quiet down, thought.

Yeah. Julius Peppers too. I don't know he played basketball Dude that would be a fun low Like hey do Antoine Randallel Julius Peppers Two former college I'm gonna pass out

Because those names are way too hot bro Julius Peppers is your name Shut the fuck up man Yeah I thought he didn't do enough with that Like how do you not just have like Chili peppers all over your shit? I'm sure they did a lot in Carolina for that but that dude lived up to the height.

Played basketball and football. It did all that. His last name was Peppers, the visor 90 tall. Like, bro, he's the god. That picture of him with like 16 crispy cream donuts in his hand. I cannot get enough of that.

Could you be more of a cool athlete in 2002? No. Unless you're Javon curse. Oh, the freak. And when Javon Curse came out, got a sack and did this, like he was breaking wood over his leg. I was like, are you allowed to do that? That is the hardest shit I've ever seen. Crazy.

We're such fucking fan boys, dude. From Matt, NCAA football 09. Says, hey, fellas, Steve Slate and Pat White got a shout out for the best duo in NCAA. Let's us forget about Dennis Dixon and Jonathan Stewart. Yeah, for some reason I never played with them. I think it was just because for us here in the Indy in the Midwest, they're just kind of like, even though they were really cool, you would never file it.

Like they were kind of out of sight out of mind. Like you would steam on game day or see the highlights. They'd be like, oh, damn, they are crazy. But then when you fire up NCAA 09, they just weren't. ever like top of mind. Not about. Yeah. Oregon was good.

I never really played with him though. Yeah. And Jonathan, I don't know. When I played that game, I liked a really fast running back. And Jonathan Stewart was like fire. But he wasn't, he wasn't Steve Slate. And let's just. Right.

He wasn't Colt McCoy, Jamal Charles. God. They played it together? I think I did. I don't know. I think he was on the Vince Young team, actually. I take that back. Sorry, Clubhouse.

I always went crazy with Terrell Pryor. Oh, God. You know what? That was a really good team. This is before Trell Pryor, but Troy Smith, Ted Ginn, and a dude from the Steelers that caught that touch.

Antonio Holmes. And then they had AJ Hawking shit on defense. I was like, bro, you can't be Ohio State. Oh, my God. that team was oh, 109 09 number two

Terrell Pryor and the horseshoe like speed option can't beat the pitch see ya can't beat him one more here from Dustin

ref joints fitting for what you're talking about earlier hey guys really enjoy the show I appreciate you answering these goofy emails that you get from the clubhouse we love them

are the best do you guys have any memorable ref ump moments from your playing days cool ones obnoxious ones. One of my basketball games, we had a ref who collapsed during a game. We didn't even

realize it until the crowd started yelling. He just laid there emotionally. So it was back for like 30 seconds doing nothing. We all thought he was unconscious and were really concerned. Then he started moving his leg around. Turned out he just tweaked his knee a little bit. We were all like, dude, what the fuck? At least grab your knee or something. He, of course, was wearing all black

ref joints. Slap my ass harder than Ed Hoculi's bicep curl. All black ref joints. Another shoe comment from Ben. Yeah. Picked up a pair of like $35 $5.9 keys from the outlet. I was like, this is good like workout shoes, just casual shoes. I show him. He goes, yeah,

ref joints. That's because somebody said it to me, bro. I was like, all black shoes go so hard and then I put them on and like just someone that didn't know anything about sports. It was just like, those are ref shoes. It might have been my dad. I was like, fuck, bro.

Never wearing these again. Oh, shit. But. Ref joints, dude. Ref or umpire things. Man. Got to go back a ways here. Weird things refs or umpires did during the game.

Yeah, that we were in. I can think one time that it was so crazy. There was like a heated like Hedet game. This is so stupid between St. Barnabas and Mount Carmel, bro. And they're like the top, they're the top two teams, dude. crazy like like it was a yeah that's that's that's oh house state michigan raven steelers type beat like it was going down bro like superstars on both sides of the field like potentially like in high

school they popped on right right but the game was so tight and there's so many trick plays it was like an amazing game dude and the refs like had some weird call at the end of the game carmel won on some fluky shit and both the refs spring rented off the field. Like, I'll never forget it. Like, they ran so fast. Like, they were getting, like, they were going to get shot or stabbed. And I think they might have, they could have been getting shot or stabbed.

Dude, right to their cars and right home. I was like, I've never seen anything like that. Guilty. Yeah. I had a ref one time. He just, like, stopped the game. Like, the game was over. Like, the game ended.

Like, we had, like, two and a half minutes left. and our coach was like making such a scene and like getting on the refs so much that the ref just like called the game. He just and it was like a, the game was still in doubt. Like it wasn't like one of the teams that just run away with it.

Like and we, you know what? We were playing Mount Carmel and basketball. And we were playing all in the road at Mount Carmel. Right. Every time. and it was yeah it was definitely very physical very much like we hate you you hate us yeah and it was it was back and forth i think they were probably up like five or seven or so with like two and a half minutes left so you know i mean they probably but like it wasn't a shoe in like anything good over babe it is right over and our coach at the time was just like going so insane going so at this official and to see and he just literally

that's it game We're all like, like all the parents, all the players, like nobody knew what the hell to do or what was going on. And like our coach was like just following him, you know, like trying to kind of tell us to shake hands or whatever, but then it was still just giving this dude an earful. It was crazy. But that is insane.

Just Paul, just just finish the, just ended it. So yeah, I'm like, you can't even, is that in your jurisdiction? Like, do you have the power to do that? I wonder what was being said to him. I guess if being so fed up, you're like, that's it. Kind of a power move, dude. Right, but I'm like, I don't even know. Like, I think we might have had to go on the CYO and like challenge that.

Like, hey, do we, can we pick up from where we were or challenge flag on the court? I don't know. But yeah, all right, that's it from the clubhouse. team these guys at gmail.com appreciate you guys as always yeah real quick

all the ticket information is the description of the show whether it's on YouTube watch us on YouTube subscribe on YouTube send it to your pals watch us during lunch watch us during work

whatever when you're at home in bed you know show the wife show the lady see what she thinks have her going insane with us

just talking about 2002 football players You will love it. Kansas City on Thursday for me, Minneapolis, St. Paul, next Tuesday, May 7th, Ben. We got Syracuse, May 30th,

Columbus, June 13th, Portland, June 26th. Philly and July. Get your tickies, babe. Hell yeah. And Indy Unites for St. Jude, hosted by me at the Vogue and Broad Ripple, May 21st, tickets available on the Vogue's website.

Yeah, and I ran. through that. All benefits go to St. Jude Children's Hospital. So, hell yeah. All right. Good deal. Until next time. TG. 81. Thanks for listening, Clubhouse. Love you. Tell somebody, tell a friend, subscribe on YouTube. Leave a comment. Leave an email. We'll talk about it on the pod next week. But all right. You guys soon. Cool. Jason Yvonne. Lorenzo Neal.