THESE GUYS! - pi$$ing on ur uncle's carpet

Episode Date: December 22, 2025

🎟️ THESE GUYS LIVE CHICAGO 12/22 https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/40421352/these-guys-special-event-chicago-zanies-chicago🍻FOLLOW TG ON IG  https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslol/📬 Email the Clubhouse [e-mail]🧢 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗵 https://benedictmerch.com/products/clubhouse-hoodie?variant=44118163914809

I got nervous. One of those where, like, I didn't really know where the bathroom was. I was kind of still afraid to ask my uncle, like what? And so I just, like, pissed on the floor. You're like 28. Can you imagine? Yeah, it was after a long night. Cheeks out.

Ass out. Not bad for a fat guy. Holidays are coming. Holidays are coming. Holidays are coming. Holidays are coming. Holidays are coming. TG-160.

TG 165 165 165 HeA Sports It's in the game God How pure

That first time on Christmas morning at like 11 When everything's kind of died down a little bit I think it's a little later Maybe a little later Maybe like a 130 Everything's a little died down a little bit You pop in NCAA 06

For the first time When you get it out of the case It's so pristine got to get the wrapping, the seal tight wrapping off of the game. That first pop open? It's so loud. You can hear it from down the street. Oh shit. He got NCAO6. Right in the tray. You don't want to touch it. Yeah, dude. E.A. Sports.

It's in the game. EA big. Remember all those? God. No. Yeah, big. That was like NFL Street and NBA Street. It's like EA Sports is like little sister company that like made the like SSX tricky and stuff Not a video game podcast Is EA Sports is Under the EA umbrella

EA sports is Kind of troublemaker cousin Yeah Weed kid We'd kid of EA sports Like whoa What's this arcade style? Yeah

The cousin that your mom was like Hey Mind your manners behave when you go over there. Tell EA Big to take his shoes off. He's had his shoes on in the house for two hours. Nobody else has their shoes on. The cousin or the friend that just openly cusses around your parents, you're going to like, whoa.

EA Big said sucks. I'm in front of my dad. I don't. You're probably not going to be allowed to come back. It's so uncomfortable when your friend says like a word you can't say in your house and he's in your house. I'm like. Has that ever happened to you though, where you're the friend? That cousin?

You say something and you get the sense in the room turns hard. Ooh, I always try to play it like super clean. I'm like they already hate me. Just don't cuss. I already did four things wrong probably. There's a couple weird. Now, I mean,

I guess there's just a couple of like houses that I went to. I remember, you know, when you're early middle school or like in middle school. Yeah. What's the, what, fifth, sixth grade?

What was it? Because I just elementary school? Yeah. Maybe like fifth to eighth grade, though. you know, you're kind of, somebody invites you over. You're like, yeah, sure, I'll take a shot. You know, you go over there. I don't really know what to expect.

You don't know the rules. Is it a one-on-one or you got a third in there? Hopefully. The third guy really saves the night. You hope that there's a third, you know, but there's situations where you weren't, you know, that just wasn't happening. But yeah, you say something, even if it's something like you're like, oh my God. And they're like, it's a house you can't say God.

I forgot that you can't even go there. Like sometimes I'd say Jesus Christ. get a weird look from the mom I'm like, oh you guys are saying that in here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to test the water. Yeah, every, no one says anything for a couple seconds. Oh, message heard loud and clear.

Dipping your toe in a little bit. I said crap, is your mom mad? Yeah, crap. Right. God, I definitely don't want to be over here now, you fucking loser. I guess this is a crud family. I guess this is a shut in the opposite of Down family. If we ever have some of those?

What? People can say shut up. Oh, wow. Shut up. That's so, man. And that's huge in seventh grade. Shut up is like, that's a whole, that's a whole personality. They got little siblings.

Shut up. Sucks. I'm like, is this a fart house? Do you ever have a- What's your fart word? Yeah. You know, every house has a different fart word. Nobody's saying fart.

House has a weird, yeah. Does they say like bubbles or something? You guys say, Poot? I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to burn this whole place down the way out. Poot? Oh my God.

The dog pooed. What the fuck did your sister just say? So weird, dude. You go to your homie's house and like, you have to like kind of like play with their brothers and sisters too. Right. Yeah. All right.

We'll play hockey in your basement with your sister. Like, I'm going to check her into the wall. Hey, when you're in a group setting though and one kid, kind of troublemaker kid, kind of, kind of EA big of the group. group. He's kind of a little too mean to the little brother. You know, like, you can tell that, uh, the parents aren't liking it. And they don't know at one point they're going to have to say something for crossing the line.

A little too pointed at little bro. The mom, the mom hates it, but the dad's like, bully him a little bit. Give a taste of his own medicine. The mom is really upset, really upset. You, like, walk upstairs at one point. And that kid is just kind of like nestled into his mom. Chess, you're like, oh boy. Okay.

Pissed Tommy off. Went a little too far with the Airsoft War. Shot him in the back of the head too many times. He just run up the stairs. He just unloaded the clip on him. I thought we were doing it like that. Maybe holding him down and execution style shooting him in the back of the head probably wasn't the best move.

I thought that was like the finisher. I thought we were doing that. Just bring in all your little tips and tricks. into a new house. But you're all, you're all in agreement that you're blaming, it's unspoken,

but it's agreed upon you're blaming EA big. Yeah. Yeah. But you take the easy fall. And honestly, that kid at a lot of times is just like,

he's a baby of a family that has like five older brothers. So he's just an absolute degenerate piece of crap. Doesn't give a shit. He'll like flip off the mom, you know, like crazy stuff.

If she actually crossed the line, yeah, he would, like, I would be like, shuddering, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Like, I will, whatever you need me to do, I will do it. He'll literally just stand there, not even an emotion.

So you're wearing a beater under his shirt? Dude, you are insane. Try to make my little brother smoke a cigarette. We're 13. Yeah, but his oldest brother is like a senior in college. He has like three more in between there. So he's seen it all. Their family has like four cars for their kids.

I'm like, you guys are a whole dealership. It's seen it. Just seen it all. Seen it all, hurt it all, has no fear. His window's broken in his room. You're like, what happened to your window? He's like, and I got bored and do this bobblehead at it. Yeah, I shot a arrow out of it. I got a bow and air for Christmas and shot it through my window.

What? You guys are getting weapons like that? Yeah, those kids always getting the crazy. You're like, why? You were the last person that needs that. You have a sword? You have a sword, bro? What was my brothers?

And like, I stole it from him. He doesn't know. Before he went to college, I'm like, where's he go? What? Always a brother that's like out of state college. You never really see him. Yeah. The oldest brother.

He goes where? He goes a Vanderbilt? Some weird name like that. You're like, for what? Marquette. Huh? Where is that? Does he play sports?

No. What? He was so good in high school. It doesn't play a lick of sports. Uh-uh. In college. No. Then the middle one, like one of the middle ones.

that's still in high school is just like the worst person ever. Doesn't look like anybody else in the family either. You're like, where'd he come from? Like legitimately scary. Every time you see him in the house, which is rare, you're like, I think he could kill me. Yeah, one time he's on the phone and I was talking to you and he told me to shut the fuck. He covered the mouth of him. Looked me right in the eyes.

Never talked to him since. He's got a buzz Every every other brother has like different hair like a little longer Yeah That family too Always the nicest mom Oh hey The sweetest

Nicest nicest gentlest mom you're like How? How did you make What is going on here? Dude you know right when you leave She turns into a drill sergeant though No I don't think so

She just keeps Keeps being yeah Warm mom That that played a factor. Moms played a huge factor. If there's a mom that you weren't vibing with, like, I don't really want to go over there. I know. You got to rock with the mom. If there's a cool mom, though, you're like, I'm kind of, I'd rather hang with her, like, in the living room a little bit. You guys go off and do it. Play hide and seek out there. Yeah,

I'm going to hang out with your mom and watch Joe Dirt in the living room, I guess. She's making biscuits and gravy the next morning. She makes cookies. She makes cookies that night. When a mom's on top of it like that? Already surprises you with like three options from Blockbuster of movies to watch that night. You're playing video games hard in your homie's room. She comes in. What kind of pizza do you guys want? Yeah!

Oh! You're like so excited, but you don't want to show it. You're like, I don't want to make it look like I'm so poor around them. Or like make this kid think that like my parents suck. Yeah. Because you're so surprised. You're like, my goodness. No, just asking us?

We have to beg for three days. Pizza on Friday? on a Wednesday? Friday? Please. If your conduct grade's good. Oh, okay. I already fucked up on Tuesday, though.

I already kicked that kid on Tuesday. That can be great. Hopefully she forgets. Yeah, like snacks too. Usually, because you're used to like, sorry, mom. But like if your mom's coming in to, she's like getting on you about something. Pantry's dry, bro. Yeah, keep it down.

And shh. Being too loud. to you for a second. This mom opens the door, though, like has a tray with, like, warmed up pop tarts and candy and popcorn. We're playing video game. And it's the buttered popcorn?

Are we just kings now? We have low fat popcorn at our house. We don't even have salt. Has actual sodas. Like, at your house, you're like, I got RC Cola. We got Big K. We got Big K and R.C. Cola. Coming in with code red, Mountain Dew.

Mountain Dew. then you take a look in the pantry and you see what they got going on you're like oh my god they have ritzbitts she walks in she's just like well i knew the boys were coming over so i wanted to make sure that you're like what i'm never leaving if you guys are how hungry later we have tequitos oh my god i've only seen commercials for those i didn't even seen those in real life all the snacks she's but she's yeah she's like and she doesn't go to bed really but she didn't care. You know, the dad's, who knows what the dad is, probably smoking a cigarette in the garage. Isn't that funny? Every time you go to your friend's house, where's your dad? And I don't want to know.

If he comes home, I'm leaving. Like, just stay out in the garage, smoke your cigarette, watch on your, on your tiny TV out there, watch NASCAR or whatever, smoke your sick. Like, stay. But the mom's just chilling the living room, maybe reading a magazine. She's got her shows on. She doesn't care. It's a warming presents. Just ready for whatever you need. Slippers on. Misses. Beat. Oh, yeah. She got a blanket on. What do you need?

But the dad, oh, I hated when the dad would come home and I'd be at my friend's house. I'd be like, party's over. Why is it that? Yeah, whenever it's the nicest mom. The dads are so serious, bro. The dad's the biggest asshole. We're just having fun. Or it's the complete opposite. You got a cool dad? Bro, it's off the rails. If the dad's cool.

I guess that's how it has to be. That's how it has to be. You know, like you got to be kind of in the pocket locked in. If you got two fun parents, then it's just a circus. Has that ever happened? You ever been to a house with two fun parents?

I can think like my, I had, my aunt and uncle were pretty like wild. I was like, this is insane. Cool house too. Damn, I'm trying to think.

Never experienced that in my life. Dude, My uncle was like the life of the party. Remember I had a wine glass full of Sour Patch kids. And I was playing Blitz on N64 in their basement. Finished basement? Why wine glass? Just because he was like, dude, let's go create.

Let's have a party. So he was having wine and he wanted you to feel included. So he filled yours up with Sour Patch kids. He was just like, here, you need a cooler cup. Like he was about it. And then he goes like this. I was playing N64, just had the cup here. Because I had one of those couches that has like a landing spot for

cup holders. It was big time. And he, my cups right there at the Saurapatch kids in it. He spikes a Snickers bar through the middle of it. What a combo. I was like, interesting. I love this. I was just looking, I looked at my sister and I go, never seen anything like it. Mom's brother.

Dad's brother. Mom's sister's husband. Oh, wow. So he's, he knows that he's like, I'm marrying into this. I got to win over the kids. He was just like, that, dude. Just always, just always trying to have fun. Games. Like, when we came into town, he took like a week off and he's like, no, like,

sidetrack. Like, we're just, we're just having fun the whole time. Damn. Mm-hmm. That's awesome. It was good. Good time. Good time. I have, I have some cool uncles. I have a cool uncle that, uh, they're all kind of cool. Me and my uncle slept over because my, my, one of my uncles is only like four years older in me. So everybody always thinks he's my, cousin or my brother or something.

But he's my uncle. Yeah. And I was like five, four or five. And I went and my uncle, who's four years older than me, we both went and stayed at my dad's middle brother in his house because he was like, cool uncle wants to sleep over, like, you know, do guy stuff, whatever. Smoke cigars. So just the only thing I think about when guys are together.

Dude, I just remember, like, I got nervous. one of those where I didn't really know where the bathroom was. I was kind of still afraid to ask my uncle like what and so I just like pissed on the floor. You're like 28. Can you imagine? Yeah, it was after a long night. Cheeks out, ass out.

Just all in the corner. Yeah, so I just remember him like wiping it up and I'm like, I'm sorry. Damn, that was tough, dude. When you had to like, where's the bathroom? Why is that such a tough question? And how come kids don't have a problem asking me that? A kid will come up to me and be like, where's the bathroom?

I'm like, yes. Damn, you're bold. I'd have to have four shots of tequila to ask that. Yeah, I don't know. But I was a kid, I was so scared of everything. Yeah, me too. I'm like, where, so we can do, this is all free game? Like, I can use the soap.

Yeah, I was too, obviously. So I was pissing on floors. But. Audible. You know. Got to piss the house down. Too scared to ask. It's carpet, too. Yeah.

It's like if it's one thing, if it's hardwood, then you just, you know, you big daddy, it puts some newspapers on it, whatever. Took it too far, bro. Carpet. Cool uncle. Just having a little too much fun at cool uncle's house. Dude, I did the same thing. Overstayed my welcome. Cool uncle, candy, video games, snacks.

Bit my cousin. Fun's over. Yeah. Fun's over. Mm-hmm. Always one that takes it a little too far. I was like, I mean. just a bit him.

We were like play fighting. What do you mean? Where'd you bite him? Just like in the ribs. He like had me pinned and I was like, I got nothing to do. I got my mouth. Ah, just took a little, you know, gave him a little bite. I'm like, this guy's a junior in high school. Like, one of the best football players on the team.

Like he can, what are we doing here? How old are you? It's probably 10. Just getting my ass kicked. I think that's probably fair game then. That's what I'm like, this is not that big of real deal. I thought it was, I thought was another cousin that was around your age. Maybe he was a girl cousin, you know, and I thought maybe you just like were, ah, just bit the arm. But, no, if you're getting pinned by your, you know,

all-regioned linebacker cousin. That's exactly what it was. I'm like, you got to do what you got to do. You don't want to tap out. Right. And then for the, then you're in trouble at your cousin's house for the next three days. I'm like quiet and shy. Now I'm like scared to ask for the bathroom, you know. Yeah. Then you piss yourself. Yep. Pissed on the Berber carpool. They just installed this is your fault Cool uncle Because now I'm in trouble Because I was trying to fight out of getting pinned

And now I pissed on your floor You riled me up Don't rile up the dogs Then yell at them You did this You made me Dude we're in the middle of potty training Frank It's wild times clubhouse

Yeah How's it going? Actually at the beginning I mean it's taken a while It's taken a while I think I was a took a while he'd probably tell. He can always tell he took a while

and figure it out still. Yeah, still. Like, damn, still piss all over the seat. But it took a while for it. He was absolutely terrified of the flush sound and terrified of drains.

I thought he's going to fall in and go down the toilet. Reasonable. Yeah. I'm trying to level with them. I'm like, okay. Three years old. Is mine sure?

Like, I got... Bro, the drain's scary. Right? You lose something down there? Right. Your phone? But like he wouldn't, you know, he was freaking out. But we finally got him to sit and everything.

And it feels very rewarding. I mean, maybe the most rewarding thing I've ever done is like having my son come up to me, I have to go party, daddy, daddy. All right, come on. Go to the toilet, drop it. Mm-hmm. And so it's, it's kind of sitting there, like, just waiting for him to be on. Wait, yeah. And he knows how to do all the stuff.

we've been trying to we've been trying to you know entice him a little bit you gotta help him out down there trying to entice him a little bit so we have some treats you know for him yeah that's what I was gonna say kind like a dog right

I mean right just giving him milk bones and shit here you go bro shooing on dog food that'd be bad Oreos you know you go with Oreos

so one Oreo like if he after he goes does it you know tells us doesn't have an accident not just some drops like fully go You got to check out the toilet. Right, yeah.

I feel like, well, he's got the little baby toilet. He doesn't go on the big one. Yeah. So he's got the little baby one. So you just, you know, it's right there. You're like, all right, great. But it's, I feel like I'm really being a dad because I kept telling him. I said, think about the Oreo.

Think about the Oreo. Right. If he's freaked out, you know, if he's, hey, settle down. Hey, you go potty. Think about the Oreo. Is it double stuff? Mega stuff. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Bullseye. hitting it every time. So my son now, he think about the Oreo, right, Dadda? That's right, son. Uh-huh. Getting through to go to your happy place.

Same vibe? Absolutely. Yeah. Same vibe for sure. Dude, every dad had that. My dad did that to me. Because I would always pee my bed in the middle of the night.

Like I was having trouble with that. Yeah, we haven't crossed that bridge. That'll be interesting. Uh-huh. and he made up a thing for me. Or like, I'd pee in my diaper or something. I just always remember him being like, hey, dry dip,

new bike. Whoa. Dry dip. New bike. And I'd be like, okay. Yeah. A little rhyme, little song in my head. I gotta get some new wheels, dog.

Yeah. I'm out here with this janky garage sale, but I need a new bike. Dry dip. New bike. See? Yeah, dude. Think about the Oreo.

30 years. My son is, think about the Oriole. Yeah, think about the Oriole. Yeah, feels good. Both start crying.

Did you get a bike for Christmas at any point? I did, yep, because of the dry dip? Nah, this was like later on. Dude, my bikes were all always kind of jank.

But I didn't even know I needed one. Those are the best presents. Didn't know I needed a new bike. I was just kind of like, this is what I got. It's a whole new one. It's kind of a surprise.

like, oh shit. That by the tree is banging. When you say, like, you go downstairs, you see the presence, but you see a bike by the tree. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. I probably told a story, but I fake fainted. Oh, yeah. I love that story.

My parents, I guarantee they could send us the clip because they got the home videos. Came out, turned the corner, froze. That's fine. Dude, we want all the fake faints on Christmas morning. That's when you show off. Dude, I think about that now. you. My parents had to be like, when on the ground, like, dapping up.

God his ass. Dude, come on. Putting the Russell Westbrook pistols in her pocket. Dad, LeBron. puts on the crown. Hey, your dad has powder. That's what you got to try to do. It's puppy chow.

That's what you got to try to do on Christmas morning, man. Yeah. If the kids are feigning, we did our job. Yeah, man. You got to be, you got to be crowning yourself. You got to be doing all that shit. Two fake feints. I don't know.

My parents, like, kind of didn't get hype with us. Like, I wish they would have. It kind of didn't matter, though, because, like... Your parents? No, I can't imagine. Nah. Did you guys do home videos? Yeah, my dad was about it.

Yeah, he had the same quarter of, bro. My dad's, like, kind of, kind of with the tech. But, yeah, we'd do that. My dad was always, like, just so, like, didn't want the time to come where he had opened his present. Like it's just so great I'm just like yo just open it Like I swear to God it's not that bad

It was so crazy I wish you could have been there for that Oh my God Dude that's something nobody can experience As other people's Christmas mornings You know It's true yeah Like it's wild

It'd be like an invasion of privacy If somebody else is at your house Yeah Wow You can't Yeah you can't That's a sacred time You ever have that moment

Where you You kind of stop And you're like dude like Matt Ryder's family's doing Christmas Oh yeah We're all doing this right now Yeah The girl you like is doing that right now

Should I text me? I have it's every year It's like 745 in the morning I'm like Should I? No I mean like I think about I'm like Even the most random people

You know I'm like Dude Mr. Kidwell's doing Christmas. I know, but I'm like, are they, though? I'm like, are we the only psychos waking up at like 6.1 a.m. and stuff? Oh, dude. You don't think? I'm like, I think other families are lame and they wake up at like 10 a.m. No. I mean, there are some that are like that are like, I think majority, man. Because I always thought about like hitting up my friends, but I'm like, nah, this isn't the time to like text my boys. What? Are you big, like, just a Merry Christmas, homies? Are you like trying to see what you got? Yeah. I'd always be like, like, I'd always be like, like, like, dude, you get that? Like in high school, I'm talking about, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I'm like, they're probably like, you know, they're locked in.

They're in the zone right now. I'm not, like, trying to ruin the moment with a stupid text. I actually think I got a Merry Christmas text from you. You remember? In high school. And I thought, because, you remember at that time, like, people would just send out, like, mass texts. Oh, I hated that. But, yeah.

But you remember that? And so I was like, oh, like, you know, Polizzi probably just did, like, a, a sin. I didn't know you well enough then to know that you would never fucking do that. So at the time I was like, probably just sound like a mass one, you know, but I was like, all right. And so I think I responded. I was like, ha ha. I bet, you know, I'm sure this is like one of those mass texts, but like right on, man, Merry Christmas to you two. And you're like, ha, actually it's not. And I was like, oh shit, dude. Cool. No, I never, he fucks with me. Never wanted to be the mass tax guy. That's good.

Yeah. My dad be in the car. We'd be on the way to like Michigan and see our family and stuff for Christmas. He'd be like, dude, it's my seventh mass text. And dude, you know what he said one time? Ray Strax just hit me with the mass text. You know he hits in, not bad for a fat guy. At the end of his mass text, Merry Christmas.

Not bad for a fat guy. Talking about Santa. Oh, that's hard, bro. That should be Santa's tagline. Not bad for a fat guy, huh? Oh, ho. Yeah. Mass text.

That's funny that your dad was... Let's get back to it. Real quick. Your dad doesn't like opening gifts because he doesn't like the attention on him? Yeah, I don't think so. And he's just like, hey, let's just make this all about you. You know, he'd rather be like, dude,

and if we never told him to open the present and, like, put a gun to his head, he would never open it ever Like so we had to be like go Like it's probably like I don't know I don't know what that complex is But My mom's about it

She'll open a present Sure what mom isn't Yeah Yeah Yeah And when you know you got her something That's just gonna cook dude You're in your sisters

Or your brothers or whatever Or just like Wait Yeah And then you know She doesn't give you Their action that you want Yeah

Shit Oh man I guess she has that. Yeah. Not even grateful. That was my money that you gave me. Moms are always down for a gift, but they're always more down to tell you how they have the receipt and you can take it back if it's not right. Wait, wait, wait.

So your mom's, you're opening a gift from your mom. Oh, yeah, that's the first thing they say. Hey, and if it's not the right signs. If you don't like it. If you want a different color I have I got a gift receipt Like slapping you in the face with the receipt You're not even full

You don't even know what it is yet Makes me want to puke I'm like I don't want the documentation On this present like to keep that You see like a mangled like coals Like Ew Ah

Yeah you're not even done Opening the gift And she's already running through that Running through that dialogue 30 days I'm like, now you're putting a time stamp on like my life. Now you're giving me chores to do? I'm like, what if I want it?

Hey, moms, just put a disclaimer on your TV screen on Christmas morning. 15 days at Best Buy because it's an electronic 30 days at Cole. Just cut out all the other shit. Have it updated the entire time. Not a Yule log. Maybe if you want to put that in the background, put some fancy Christmas text on there. know, just get all of your, I have the receipts. Here's when you can take it back. Here's where you take it back to. If you don't like it, it won't hurt my feelings. Boom. We don't got to go through

any of it. Just stamped on the wall. It's like a Wi-Fi password. Return policies right there. I'm like, if you wait over 30 days, it's in-store credit. All right. Jesus Christ. Why'd you even buy it for me? If you're so like, you have no confidence in this gift. Does your mom do the, uh, or did she do the now you know don't expect anything too crazy this year

you know we kind of dialed it back a little bit and you get there on Christmas morning there's like 6,000 gifts like mom what are you trying to undersell so we come in and are like blown away no my mom never it was just

it was just baseline that we weren't going to get anything but my dad my mom like didn't even she didn't like go crazy before Christmas like She'd ask us like maybe once what we want. But my dad was like Christmas guy. Yeah. He'd be asking, what do you want? Where do I get it?

That's funny. All that kind of stuff. Then we've talked about this before, but you got to like tell your parents like where it is in the mall. That's always just a mess, dude. It's weird because online shopping I hate because I love the process of old school like jingle all the way. You know, you're growing up, you're going to toys or rush. You're going to the mall. You're getting it off the shelf.

It's like you make a day of it. You know, oh, wow, today's the day. We're going Christmas shopping, get festive. Still doing that. You stop and get lunch somewhere. Oh, it's a best day. It's awesome, right? It's so fun.

You got to be in so many times. And online shopping is totally killed it, right? Totally killed it. But at the same time, online shopping is so great because now you just absolutely know that you just link here it is. Here's the exact thing, the exact size, the exact page, the link. Click it, click buy. There you go.

You don't have to work. about a store. You don't got to worry about what mall it is. None of it. So it's a little bit of you know, you get a little bit of both ends. You ever ask for something and your dad has to like go on a wild goose chase for it and he tells you about it? I've had a few

of those. Yeah. Or yeah, dad loves telling the story. It's a dad thing. Like the moms aren't hunting it down like that. Like I think I asked for a video game one year. It might have been like NFL Street too, like late. Like everybody already bought it. Like when video games would sell out. You couldn't.

Yeah. My dad was like, yeah, it's probably like the last thing, you know, checking off the boxes on the list. I think, dude,

I think he told me he went to like 17. It was probably exaggeration. You know, dad's were lying. He's like, dude, he's like, I went to like seven game stops.

He was telling me about all the best bites you want to and stuff. And I'm like, wow, probably going to return in like a week. Thank you. Thanks, Bob.

Yeah, probably going to return it at Blockbuster. Yeah. Yeah, my dad, he's done a few of those where, like, he likes to take it upon himself to get a dad gift, you know, because mom does most of the shit. But, like, all of a sudden he'll be like, make it clear that this is from him. Like, he picked this one out, you know, you open it. Cubs jersey. You open it like, damn, wow, this is crazy.

I was at five below. Waiting in line. And I saw this. And I thought, and you're like, gives you the whole thing. And you're like, wow, man, that's really awesome. But now he's doing this thing where he wants to get a gift from him for each of like the adults in the family. You know, me, Rye, my sister and her husband. Yeah.

But like he's texting the spouses. What do they want? What can I get them? I want to do a little something special just from me to all the adults. I'm like, I think just the gesture itself is, you know, well, just tell me like what exactly can I get them? I'm like, well, do you want to do this? Or do you want me to do it for you and you take the credit? Yeah.

You're giving them all the answers. Like, text me, text me, hey, I want to do this. I just had a feeling you wanted it when she's opening it. Then he's taking the credit. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I just want to do this. As the dad, I just wanted to get, you know, for the adults, you know, something special for each, you know, all this.

Hey, by the way, what is the exact place I can buy it? How much is it and work? Nees specifics. Where do I park? When are they open? That's the point. It's the gesture of the gift. So go out.

Trust your gut. Wrapped, unwrapped. Jesus. Lay it on the line. Put the nut sack down and say, yeah, I thought you'd like it. This is for me.

Merry Christmas. Wow. Nope. You got to get the cheat sheet. Give him the cliff notes. Man, he's going to absolutely roast my ass this week with all this. I'm going to get him.

My mom are going to be on me. To be honest, they don't listen. Who does? Let's get to the clubhouse. Hey, this one's for us. Team these guys at gmail.com. Substitute teacher was in last week. And I fought off the sickness and now I'm back, ready to go.

Always a bummer. When your sub would like, it'd be time for that like period of time to end. you'd have a sub for a week and it was like oh my God the best feeling of all time then your real teacher would come back and you'd be like forgot you were like this and they have to double down

because they've been gone we gotta do so we gotta catch up we gotta catch up lost time the week with the substitute teacher it's like no other week they starting to loosen up day three they're getting familiar with you yeah you guys can play baseball

by that time they just don't give a about anything. It's so nice. That time they're just running out the clock, collecting a paycheck. Laptop day. Movie day. Taking a knee. Victory formation.

Best formation in football. Best formation in football. Every time you install victory formation on your football thing. Best formation in football. Your coach. I'm like, all right. Dude.

You'll be lucky if you see us in this. I'll be honest. You know what I hate, this is so old guy yells at a cloud, but I hate seeing high. high school and college football players take the shotgun snap for victory formation. Oh, take the victory formation out of the shotgun.

I'm like, I've never seen that. Get your ass under, you can practice under center snaps. Get in there. Wait, so they never are under center? Like,

no, they shotgun snap it to them and they catch it and take a knee. Like, that's not a victory formation. What the hell is this? Yeah. That's a new. I feel like you have a,

like a chance of fumbling, you know, ball hits a same. center's leg. You want to minimize all opportunities. Snaps it over his head. Yeah, what the hell? I hate it, dude.

I've never. Keep an eye out. Who did it? I don't have any in mind, but I've seen it. Maybe, probably. I've never seen Oregon under center. Dude,

what? Yeah. You can't take at the end of every practice, 10 minutes to take 50 under center snaps and just practice. That's like half of high school football. football practice is taking snaps. QB Center Exchange. That corner of the end zone.

Like, you guys can't do that? That's ridiculous. Victory formation, dude. You have 17 running backs in the backfield, lined up for some reason. Quick snap. Your safety 20 yards behind you. Your coolest player does the worm at the end.

And your two coolest players at the end of the line, they do a cool handshake. They do a backflip. Yeah. Anyways. Just a little sports pocket. Something I had to get off my chest. Wait, why are they talking about this?

We. From Tanner, Double Dare 2000. Fellas, Ricky Lesnar, first time, emailer. Welcome, Tanner. I don't think it's a secret that late 90s, early 2000s was the peak of pretty much everything. One thing that defines that era for me was through technology. There was nothing cooler than to see through an N64 than a see-through N64. I remember doing, being so jealous of the kids who won it on Double Dare 2000.

Oh, my God. It seemed like everything from that era had a see-through version, TV. these max remotes, game boys. It is definitely a lost start, and I wish more things were see-through in 2025. Imagine a see-through iPhone would be absolutely sick, although it gives off major rich kid vibes.

Hope you guys share the love for this lost start as much as I do, and how I had a few sweet see-through items as kids. Sit from the phone that Joe Horn pulled from under the goalpost against the Giants 2003. I like this. Happy holidays, fellas, love the pod. Thanks, Tanner.

You know how hard that would slap if Apple came out with an iPhone that was like throwback nostalgia and they made like an orange see-through one that purple teal. You just know Timothy Shalameh's shown up to the Oscars with that. I know and they have it like

a month before it comes out and you're like I don't even want it anymore bro if we're not going to have a fair shot at it. He's going to have it by the time this podcast drops. Well what I guarantee that happens. These guys said it first. Cheryl Moore.

Oh wow. Dude, if we can have a listener or somebody in the clubhouse that like can write down our predictions that we've like randomly said with no intentions of it becoming true. But there are like a handful things. Yeah. Don't have to do my own horn here. To your own Joe Horn. Oh, God. Oh, gee.

Come on. Horny. The Seether stuff. Yeah. The N64. Yeah, the N64. And those controllers, that was a must have. It was always purple when I did see one.

Yeah. It was that. I've seen some red and greens. Dang. Yeah, I've seen some red ones and some green ones. The C, God, the N64, just the perfect... So kid game thing. The perfect gaming console.

The perfect one. Remember the... I love it still. Dude. Plug that rumble pack in. In the back. Oh. The way you could snap that thing in the thing in the perfect.

the back of an N64 controller like you were loading a gun. And then the Z trigger underneath, the fact that it was the Z, it was so perfect. Dude, you became like Bruce Willis and diehard just locked and loaded. There's other things you could like attach to the back of that. That was so much fun. The Game Boy was nice. Yeah, never had any of that.

Actually, I think I maybe had an N64 see-through controller because I got that. I think the same, dude, I think the. same year I got a bike. I also got an N64. Fake thing. I'm pretty sure it was the same. That's an insane Christmas. Insane.

Your parents went off. Well, I got the N64 for my grandparent. Dude. You never think your grandparents are going to come through with like a lit present either. You're like, ah, they might, you know, they might hit on like a, I might get a Colts hat. You know, just something that's like, it's not going to blow me away. N64? Yeah.

How do you know? And I was like, I was dance kid. I did like a stupid, yeah, dance and I, and I, and I froze. I was so dramatic, dude, I was. I was dance kid. And I was, I was dance kid like not that long ago. I got like, there were some Jordan Fives. I saw it the Nike outlet.

My dad was like, grab them. I was like, oh, this is like part of my Christmas thing. He's like, he's like letting me get these. And they're like a little more, you know. Early Christmas gifts like that. Grab them. I was like, they're like a color that I never wear. It's like one of those special Christmas things.

They're like blue and yellow. I was like, whatever. This is hard though. Got home to this whole. Brittany Spears was on. My dad loved it. I'm like, that's crazy, dude. What was that?

Like two years ago? It honestly was in college. I had long hair. Oh my God. I was literally like 22. Long hair Johnson. Oh my God. With J's on.

Fresh ones. Oh my. It was so, it was such a moment. He'll bring that up too. He'll be like, hey, Christmas dance,

remember? Just because shoes? You too? Oh, yeah, dude. You hit the freeze on? I froze.

Yep. I opened it and I got it and I just started freestiling. Just like going crazy robot kind of. Yeah. That girl is a real. He did the Black Beatles. I don't even know. Oh, dude.

This is this is sidetrack. but I went to the Purdue Auburn game at Gainbridge on Saturday night and I finally got on the big screen. What did you do? I got on the big screen and I totally just froze. Like I totally just went into, no, well, I didn't,

I just went into like automation mode and I just started like waving at it. It's not bad. Could be worse. I was on a little too long. Ah, they always do that. Yeah. But they were probably like trying to feature you a little bit or something.

No, but you're in like the nosebleeds or something like randomly. Killer seats. It was like 12. rose off the floor. They knew it they're doing. And yeah, I said, I'll send I look up and I was like, oh, I mean, the people that were with. And so I like saw and I was just kind of like, you know, I kind of was like shoulder shrug, but mostly just this. What's the go to move on a jumbo? And it wasn't like during a segment. It wasn't like, you know, when they music was playing and they had shit going on. But you know, when they do those in between timeout segments and they're like, it's the dance kids. There's like a premise. Yeah, there's something going on. There was none of that. It was just during a timeout, where they're just filling time, showing people on the big screen. And so I was like, wow,

I just totally blow it. Gotta go with your gut. I think that's the way to go. Because if you have something planned, it's lame. Like, oh, you thought you were going to be on the Jumbotron?

Okay, bro. Okay. I know, but I kind of, damn, I wish I would have, like,

hit something, you know, a little electric arm, you know, a little bag for a lot. Every guy has like a, every guy's a secret little fantasy of what they do when they get on the jumbootron.

You know? Hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I just totally just, I mean, blacked out when the automation mode. Just, yeah, default. Oh, hey. Hey, Mom.

Just day one stuff, dude. No thought. Probably for the best. Let's go to Chris. Fake a phone call when you're on it. Now I'm thinking all these. We got to get a jumpotron. Invite me to a game, dude.

Wouldn't come. A whole hand shake. Wouldn't come. Wouldn't be there. I'd actually be in the bathroom when they like pan to you. This is from Chris. He says Coach P. He actually DM'd us about this as well.

And I told him to email or he said he'd email it in. And it just says, station now about this? And it's a picture. And it's a store called Coach P's universe. Shut up. Oh my God. I don't know if this works or not,

but it never works. Never works. I don't know why I did not. It's called Coach P's universe. universe. I got, dude, you got send me that. What's in there? Just a bunch of Rocky movies? It looks, yeah, that's what would be

in there. Apollo shorts, rocky movies. Just pictures of Brian Lough on the wall playing safety. Oh. Charlie Batch Lions jersey. Is that a picture of Marcus Nally?

But yeah, it's a real thing. Coach P's universe and it looks like just one of those, you know, in malls now, like somebody just essentially makes it their like junk drawer room. You know, they buy it out and they're like, here's just all my stuff. They just like throw it in there. That's kind of what it looks like. Yeah, that store is definitely like at the entrance of the mall that you haven't gone in in like 25 years.

What's even down here? They used to be a lid. Yeah, always used to be the most, like, popular store. Like, that kind of looks like, you know how you can tell what stuff was? Kind of looks like, uh, American Eagle. Double doors. Yeah, big opening doors. It's kind of, it's a really sad, actually, when you, uh, pass a store in the mall,

they're like, ah, used to be Hollister. Now it's fan cave. There's, you're like, what happened? Hollister went out. Like, we're in trouble, dude. If Hollister can't stay afloating there. Damn. What are you young people doing, man?

Didn't you guys have middle school dancing to go to? Halster was on like a resurgence. Yeah, like all those places, like Arapossel, American Eagle, all that shit. Because it was huge. I remember when I was in middle school. It was the only thing. Because my mom asked, do you want something from Aero Pustel? Aero Pestel.

That was always like the third tier. They're like D3. Hollister D1, American Eagle, D2. Air Possible D3. American Eagle kind of bangs. It ain't know. It's not Hollister though, bro. Hollister, the entrance to Hollister with like the Tiki hut, I was like, I got to go in there. Yeah.

See, Halster to me is like Oregon. Yeah. An American Eagle to me is like. American Eagle had that shit. Alabama. It just wasn't as sexy as Hollister. You walk in. You're like, am I at a nightclub?

American Needle, a big bright, like, yeah. That's what I'm saying. You know, Hollister comes on Quaid. They got a lot of cool tricks and tips, you know, maybe hotter workers. Like those models that would just stand in the entryway, probably you. You know, like, I did get approached by them. I was like, I guess I'm hot. The day you got approached by a Hollister model.

Do you want to be a model for us? I'm like, shut up. Yeah. Model? Never happened to me. It's got a face for radio. But it's just a little, you know, it wasn't as. It was kind of intimidating

to go into Hollister American Eagle I was like yeah this is just more Felt more you You know I felt more like Yeah I felt more comfort

Going into American Eagle Hey American Eagle AFC Hollister NFC That's pretty good Yeah yeah it is It is it is

No questions about it actually No debate Final answer How is How would you pronounce this fellow's name? Heyman. Hey, man. Heyman.

Says Jack Lambert's neck roll. Ben and Joey, long time listener, first time emailer. Shus, a little bit of stroke meter times a thousand. Wow. Long time listener, first time emailer. Huge fan of the show. I and my buddy are traveling from Boston out to Chicago for TG live next week. Super excited.

Holy shit. See you tonight, baby. Tonight. You said we could write in things or possibly be read on a live show, but even if it doesn't make it on there, perhaps something for a future pod. You're the best. Should we save this then?

I mean, let it rip. No. My question is, did you ever do anything for a rivalry game in high school that you look back on now and think, what the fuck was I thinking? In high school,

the rival schooled to us was the Linux millionaires. Shut up. Shut up. Millionaires? Before a basketball game. One time I can remember at the pep rally One kid being so fired up He was lighting money on fire in the stands

Oh my God That would have got me going At the games themselves A student section would always chant ridiculous things And the parents were weirdly into it too I was shocked at what the school Would allow student sections to save back in the day Especially for a rivalry game

Anything fun you remember from the Ron Collie days Playing your rival school Love what you guys do Fan for Life slap my ass with Algy Crumpler's mouth guard As Humpty hangs up another set of lights preparing to go to the in-laws for Christmas Eve for the 10th year in a row.

Thanks, Mudslide Williams. Sent from my LG NV2. That just got me fired up. Sick phone. Sick email, man. That's awesome. Wow. Chicago, go ahead and get your last minute tickies.

Oh, man. That's hilarious burning money because of the millionaires. That's so sick. And you knew them. Yeah, this is the dynamic. When parents were weirdly into it is because the other school was kind of known as like the rich better school.

Yeah. And so then the other parents were like, well, fuck them. Mm-hmm. Who the fuck they think they are. Yeah. I never wanted to be in that situation where I was the rich school. Never was. But I'm like, that would suck to be them kind of.

Coming into like our like house. Like we worked for all this. You guys just got it handed to you. Like you feel like the like the poor school like has a little bit of an edge because they're like hungrier. Oh, for sure. Yeah. What are you talking about?

That was always us. The poor school. No. I felt, I'm picturing unless we played cathedral. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

We were always the one that everybody was like dressing up preppy, like calling rich, you know. I never really thought that. I always thought public schools had a little bit more money

because their schools were bigger and newer and better. And our school was like, we don't even have AC, dude. What are you talking about? We're not rich. I get those state dollars.

That's why I thought like, all right, like they've got more money and that's clearly. Like, look at their team shoes. Like, I could always tell,

like that. I mean, the school, this is just like, I don't have to debate about it. Yeah. Yeah. I know what you mean. No, I know. I'm picturing us playing like a rich private school. Yeah. And, uh, like wanting to beat them. So, and the parents are like, dang, you know, they're all like. Yeah. Huge rivalry. Good fan base. I mean,

they started cracking down on those chants like when I was a freshman. Should did get real. We had when we played get theater. Like even our, even our principal and our president would like, he would, you know, let some things fly. I love that attitude. Yeah, this is a rivalry game. Yeah. I remember one of my friends, it was sectionals of basketball.

We were playing a cathedral. And one of my friends, it was in warmups. So you know how they always put like, they would put the team, the opposing team in front of the opposing student section during warmups? It was like, you guys are messing up here. How is this? And so our student section was right under the basket that cathedral was warming up at. And I remember. Where was the game?

Tech. Why are the big games? I remember one of my friends like absolutely just lit into one of the players on Cathedral screaming. And like kind of like Like was he like cussing and stuff?

Like personal? It's like you're a fucking bitch. Andy Ward? They're talking about Andy Ward like that. No, no, no. Not going to reveal. Not going to reveal. But our principal, he was kind of perusing in front of the

section just making sure but like he vividly like solom was like didn't do anything kind of just like turn turn turn the other way you know there we turn to blind eye there we go that's when you kind of gain some respect for your principal like he's about it um do we do anything for a rivalry game we're playing chitard one time at roncali like a lot of energy it felt like the court was this small like the crowd was yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like there's dudes a cross. You knew you played against them your whole life. They had dirt on you.

Bro. And then just all of a sudden, Nathan Allen walks in the gym. Straight full, car heart, tan jumpsuit, Michael Myers mask. I remember this.

Didn't say or move the whole, didn't say anything, didn't move the whole game. Is just sitting in the corner? Yeah. I was like, that is, that's my school,

bro, that is what I'm talking about. We got that when you got a scary guy. That's how that we got him, bro. We got Nathan. He'll kill you. He'll kill you. He really might kill you. Yeah, I like that, bro.

We got one of those guys. Finally. It wasn't Michael Myers. It was Jason. Oh, more hockey. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Either. Either. Yeah. Okay. Dude, I remember that because I was a freshman at the time. Yo. I was like, I think I had the, because you know, the freshman bitch-ass team had to hold a

rope, you know, around the court. Some people didn't. I'm pretty sure I had to hold the rope that game. And I was like, holy shit, Alan's over here. Like, he, this is deadly. I love that energy, dude. I'm so scared. Didn't say a word the whole time. One time I wheeled Joe King in in a jumpsuit.

I remember that too. In a wheelchair. Did he have a muzzle one? Oh, yeah. Yeah, bro. He was like twitching and freaking out. Joe King. God.

Guy, got to mention him every podcast. Yep. Ding, ding, Snyder Stamps, Joe King. Like, how crazy you got to be to do that? Thinking back on it. I mean, I'd still do it today, but... I remember we played Park Tudor, and Yogi Farrell was on the team. He was a senior and was at Ron Colley.

He had the hype, dude. He did, and we weren't that, like, that big of rivals, I guess you could say because they were going to both private schools or whatever, but I remember the whole game because he's going to IU. The band did the boiler up. Boiler up. Boiler up. Every time that he touched the ball and every time the Park Tudor did, that's not that crazy,

but I just remember that being like a, you know, it was supposed to be like a fuck you to him. Yeah. And then we put a 30 on you. We won on a buzzer beater. Who hit it? Michael Clements. Oh, he's a dog. Yeah.

Brad Fay came down the sideline, chucked it up towards the rim. Clements went up and got it. And just laid it up as time expired. Oh, like an oop? Like a loom? It was just kind of like, it was honestly like a heave. Like I'm going to trust you to go up and get this, man, because I don't really have any other options.

Clemens came down with it. It did like a reverse under the rim to, I think Trey Liles was trying to block it. Oh, Trey Lyle. No, it wasn't Trey Liles. It was Trayvon blew it. He went to Xavier. Just every guy that plays Indiana high school basketball in the NBA for like four years.

So he hit it and we had been going back and four. Because you remember, like you said, like the corners where the student sections at our school and the gym is a shoebox. So like you're on top of each other. And as soon as he hit it, we all rushed the floor. And me and two of my buddies just went directly over in front of the Park Tutor student section and just double burdened. Oh, that's pretty bold. We're going to get suspended. Then our athletic director were like, he kind of got on her ass a little bit.

But it was like one of those again where everybody was just so hyped that it was like, what are you going to do? Yeah. You know, everybody was glad that we beat yogi, you know? That's a sick game, dude. Sick dub. It was. Dub for the boys.

Put some respect on Michael Clemens. All right. Everybody got mad at me on the last podcast about talking about the Steelers. So now they're probably fast forwarding through us talking about all that. Okay. Sorry, everybody. Not a reminisous podcast. All right.

Yeah, I'm trying to think. There's other crazy. I remember hearing about crazy stories of like people would, you know, take their cars on the field at like midnight the night before the game and like do donuts and shit on it. Really? Yeah.

I think it was. F.C. I think I was a freshman. Yeah. We didn't have turf and it was grass. And somebody from FC drove their car on the field and the donuts. And like the whole maintenance crew was out there all day on Friday like trying to repair it.

So then it became a huge rivalry Yeah Chick-foy challenge Yeah I remember that I remember that lore Hearing about it like Dude high school kids are crazy

I know They really are like the movies Bro it was Before a football game too Like this game's gonna be lit Dude there's gonna be like fights This is gonna be sick Yeah

Right on dog Can't wait to see you Let's see This is from I'm trying to see This is from Hunter. Hunter, Hunter,

Honte, Hunter. Station, know that Papa Elf isn't Buddy's real dad. What's up, fellas? Hunter from Michigan. Long time, listener, second time emailer.

Since this isn't a reminiscent podcast, I was wondering, what's your craziest shit story? For me, it was the time I was an Amazon delivery driver and in the middle of my route got hit with the worst case of bubble guts with no bathroom in sight.

I quickly grabbed a grocery bag and it did my thing, but then came the time to get rid of the evidence. My last stop of the night was a vet's office, so decided to put it in the dog's shit waist bucket. Merry Christmas fellas and slap my ass with JJ Watts' bloody nose tape. Still can't decide if that picture's real or not.

Oh. Yeah. I think I know what you're talking about. JJ Watt bloody nose? Yeah. There's Brian Cushing bloody head. Well, the Texans players are all bleeding. Matt Schobb?

What? They both did. They both did that. Same guy. Crazy, crazy shit story. There's a good one that I have, but I can't think of it right now. It's really making me bad.

But I have another, one time I was squatting. And it was just like before the last set went down. And I just felt it. And you know when you feel it? And you're like, did it? Or was it? Did it go out?

and I remember I was down there and I just like I just shit my pants and racked it you know how you you know how you can't get it back to the top like like rack so you just drop it it's the most embarrassing thing ever like I'd rather like tear all the vertebraes in my back

and then like rack it really loud on those like little like yeah did you say it to your coach joking I just shit my pants and then I like walk to the bathroom like a gorilla. Yeah, dude, all the way down there.

Yeah, the shitwalk. Shit walk for like 50 yards because the bathroom is like far away. You're like, am I leaking? You're getting a little where. You don't want to look down. Compression shorts white. I was like, this is just...

Put him right back on, finish the set. I think I've told that story about in seventh grade in the CYO tournament. I checked into the game and it was like, you know, it was just like January. It was a cold old gym. you're feeling weird because it's already cold and everything.

So you're just kind of out of it. And then I got, I ran into a screen. You know, so I didn't communicate. And I ran into a screen a little too hard. Dang. And when I did.

No way. And I was like, what age? 7th grade. And it was the first quarter. And so I was like, dude, I definitely shit myself.

I was like, I think, I think I can smell it. Like, I definitely this happened. And now I'm going to be shit kid. I'm going to be the kid who shit his pants. Dang, what'd you do?

So the whole, I just like kept playing. I was like, well, if it's in there, I guess, like, I don't really know what I'm supposed to like, I can't just sub myself out of this game. Yeah, you don't want to tell your coach. Right. Like, what are you going to? So I just waited until halftime. And I was like, so the entire first half, I just was blacked out because all I could think about is how my life is going to be over because I was a kid who shit himself during the basketball game. Mm-hmm.

And then I get back to the locker room and half. I think we were losing the St. Pius. So it was like, whatever. This is over. winning against same boys. And I went and luckily in the locker, they had like actual locker rooms of this old ass Sassina high school,

not a local podcast. It was always cold in that gym. I'm like, can you, what are we doing? Oh my God. There's no heating in here? Your hands are cold and it's the second quarter of a basketball game. I'm like, I'm cold at the free throw line.

Terrible. But luckily they had real locker rooms so they had a real bathroom. I go in and so I went, did a little check. Luckily, nothing. I know exactly. That locker room for sure. Luckily, nothing, by the grace of God,

it was one of the biggest reliefs of my life. It was a totally different person after that. Yeah. Sounds like, man. Went for like 12 points in the second half after that. Feeling loose, feeling good. I was like, I'm not going to be shit kid and Jody Gillum's not going to make fun of me.

Oh, my God. Oh, she was there. Wow. Wow. Yeah. It took so many else. in that gym. Devastating losses in the Sassina gym.

Just get knocked out of the playoffs. Every year. By like teams we shouldn't lose to, St. Jude beat us. I was like, what? We like know them. How did Jude even have? Aigel, Chanel,

Shepard, Foster. But in your class, they were older than you. Yeah, that's when they beat us. In my class. Well, you had chillers, so. Not a local podcast. Cox and Rutter are pretty good.

and they had Kendall Miller and CJ Lard And CJ Lard Dude their two three zone just got us Who was Cox Matt Cox Oh yeah He was nice

He's good baseball player Uh huh Put some respect on Wow This is so funny I just I love talking about local shit like that That nobody knows about

But now you do Do we talk about best players From every Catholic school or no I'm ready Not that I've thought about it or anything Uh From Riley.

Your wife. Stop being so loud. Get the fuck up here. We're going to my mom's. Hurry up. Hurry up. From, yeah, Riley,

it says Jake Delome. Hey, boys, heard your jersey story on the pre-Christmas sewed and had to share a story about a jersey that I got for Christmas one year. I was a big Carolina Panthers fan.

I loved Jake Delome. All I wanted for Christmas that year was a 17 black and blue Jersey. Oh, so crispy. Anyways, my parents told me the story post Christmas. They ordered it in October. A jersey arrives. It's a Julie's Pepper's jersey. Would have been sick, but they knew what I wanted. They send the jersey back for the Del Lomb one. The jersey then takes forever to arrive. We live in Ontario, Canada. The jersey was coming from the NFL shop in New York. My parents track it. It is shipped to Eastern Canada, Nova Scotia, then to California, then to Alberta,

before finally arriving at our place on Christmas Eve morning. Jake Delome played one more game with the Panthers before going to another team. Thanks for the pod boys. Also Easter's over sent via carrier pigeon and so was my jersey apparently. Dang. Shit.

Well, that's like... Big Instagram ad shipping vibe. That's a pretty epic story that your parents went through that. I mean, how the presence of mine to order in October. Then they sent you the wrong one. they go and do it all again because they know which one you want.

So credit to them, man. God, dude, I love, you know what? Everybody gets wild. I think about the black on black with the Panthers. Give me the silver pants and the black jersey with the silver helmet. Their best look. Oh, that is so nasty.

But yeah, that's why, you know, you got to go with jerseys, man. Like you got to go with somebody who's retired Or somebody who you just they just sign like a contract extension Sometimes the player's so hot that you just got it You know I'm thinking like Mike Vic Like you gotta just pull the trigger on that Yeah but he was the face of the of the Falcons

Like you knew he wasn't going anywhere Yeah So it's like one of those guys you don't know Like an outside linebacker or something Like he could be on a new team any second But your kid really wants it sometimes he's got to for the for the reaction

yeah for the dance for the fake feign you just got to throw it out there he gets traded that's true whatever and hey you know what Riley now you have a sick Jake Delome jersey that you know you flash forward 20 years later and it's like that plays big time

I always have so much respect when I see a Jake Delome jersey not a Panthers podcast but probably you show up you show up to somewhere you show up to a party show up to a bar with a black Jake Delon I'm dapping up so hard It's like not even like

I can't even remember I guess he was like Probably the best selling Panthers jersey from that era So I'm like who else did they really have Foster but no he's getting that jersey Muhammad Steve Smith dude

Oh yeah Chris Gamble Steve Smith Witherspoon I was like whoa bro I feel like they had a couple linebackers too it's pretty geekly Yeah

Was that Witherspun did before that Sean maybe? I don't know But I was always so scared of the Panthers Dallum though Like what a story bro I'm like where do you come from And how's he like just a top three quarterback in the NFL

Let us see him the Super Bowl I'm like I still didn't even know where he went to college That's a good one Where do you go Where'd he come from Panthers fans screaming at the top of their lungs in their car right now Oh man You don't want to say he went to like

Louisiana Lafayette Let's go Noseball Holy cow That was actually insane And you didn't even cheat That's like some That's crazy

How Because I like kind of didn't even know that was a school anymore You know how I came up with that Yep I came up with that because When I was in the whole horse racing game. I was down at the New Orleans

Derby in like February of 22 or something. Anyways. Jake Delon was down there. In New Orleans. He's like big into horse racing now. He owns like multiple, multiple

horses. Like that's kind of his post football thing. And so I was like, you know what? I think he is a Louisiana kid. Because I just remember seeing them down there at the New Orleans Derby. And so I was like, you didn't go to LSU. I know that. It's so funny what, like, professional athletes do after their career.

I'm like, when guys are, like, insurance agents, I'm like, are you sure you have to do this? Like, you don't have enough money, like, put in a back pocket that you can't just, like, do something low-key and live your life? I haven't seen that, like, Mike Glennon on LinkedIn and shit. I'm like, bro, just, you don't, you're good, right? You started like, you're good. You got in the playoffs, like, that's enough job. You're maxed out on job, dude. You don't need to keep going.

Don't you just own like seven fast food restaurant franchisees? And then you just let it right. Sit there. Yeah. And then you coach for the high school team. It's better than that. All right, let's finish up with Andrew. It says, have a holly.

row Johnny Jolly Christmas dudes writing this email for my garage while a wife is storming around the house getting ready to have 50 people at our house for her side's family Christmas party tomorrow I told her I needed to look for some lights three course lights that is ever

nice ever since I started listening to these guys I can't hear the line Holly Jolly Christmas that goes Oh ho the mistletoe hung where you can see somebody waits for you kisser wants for me

without singing that last line like Benny yelling out of their wedding Kitter! Kizur! Let's get fucked up Anyway, break a leg of this show in Chicago. Smack my ass as hard as my head will hit the pillow after I'm done cleaning up from this Christmas party. Andrew and then he finishes with

Karel Buckhalter. Ooh, love. Always love that name. Crazy. Crazy name. I think he's Panthers. It might have done both, but I I think he was, I remember him on the Panthers. I always wanted a Buckhalter jersey. Can just, dude, Pat Summerall saying Buck Alter. Colorado?

Is that where we went to school? I think. That's a tough one. I'm walking off on my Delahom one. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You, you, you, you, no, no. I'm going to pull it up because I got Del Ome, so you try. Don't do it.

I'm doing it. I'm just already in here. Nebraska? Who was? Oh, never mind. I'm thinking of the wrong guy. I'm thinking about that Bobby Purify, dude. Oh, so sick.

Who? The Colorado running back. Here. Hold on. Hey, this one's for us. Come on. Corell Buckhalter. Bobby Purify.

What? Yeah, dude. I'm missing something? What a name. I know. I think it was where it all started for me with football player names. he was so sick Bobby Purify

Running backs that are fast And in the 40s Just so scary to me Yeah Alvin Camara Man That's like OG Colorado Before like they were all the

Deon It was all Dion era Bobby Purify Always played with them Weirdly on NCAA Like do it a Colorado Nebraska game I'd like beg my friends

You be Nebraska please I just want to be Colorado Black on Black jerseys It's snowing like really do it your friend doesn't even want to be Nebraska or play the game no you're just dragging them along

Nebraska Bobby Purify has 65 carries did they 100 yards did they at least have the triple option on Nebraska I made them I don't care if they did or not switch you be Nebraska and you do the triple option in the entire game and you wear the black jerseys fumbled six times in the first half

I don't care all right good stuff Wait, where'd Karel Buckhalter go to college? Merry Christmas. Oh, I mean, where do you plan the pros? This is the Christmas show. So you have the whole week while you're heading around, driving, traveling to and fro.

I know I got to go all over God's Green Earth. Broncos. Feel you there? Well, he was Eagles. I thought the Panthers for some reason. Thought they had a DB crew. Some Buck Halter. No.

Sick, man. Anyways, hope you have a great holiday. Merry Christmas. Love you. Like I always like I like to sign off around this time like Clarence says in its wonderful life Remember no man is a failure who has friends You do that? You say that? I always tweeted on Christmas Eve but I'm adding it this year to this

So live show tonight I hope to see some of yin's there and Yeah we're gonna have fun and stick around Merry Christmas to you do some little pickies after Pickies Pickies after getting tickies Center QB exchange starts after the show Nice maybe get a whole formation going

Can we? I can line up Just somebody send me in motion Across the comedy club Actually let's just go in the middle of the street after it Yeah What'd be perfect NFC weather A little chill

Oh my God Christmas lights out there See your breath Yeah These guys All right These guys He's got

See at the show Thomas Witherspoon Delpo O'Neal I think we just made both those up Oh my