THESE GUYS! - Robot HUNTY

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

 on this ep the burpy bois remember alter boy pants⭐️ 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗔 𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 & 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪📺 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗯𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗵 https://benedictmerch.com/products/clubhouse-hoodie?variant=44118163914809🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦Plano, TX - Apr 2 https://www.micdropcomedyplano.com/shows/305073Rochester, NY - May 5 https://ci.ovationtix.com/35843/production/1229938Las Vegas, NV - May 24 https://www.wiseguyscomedy.com/nevada/las-vegas/arts-district/e/benedict-polizzi🎟️ 𝗝𝗢𝗘𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 Irvine, CA - March 13 https://www.ticketweb.com/event/joey-mulinaro-irvine-improv-tickets/13739724?pl=irvineimprov

writing someone like a note, like an actual handheld note, physical copy of you sit down, you write it out just like a hey, you know, appreciate you, you know, that kind of thing. From Joey, ghost dealers. Yeah, I had a picture of Ben Raltesburger in it. I was like, did he mean to give this to me? Hand drawn number seven. Super roll rings on his fingers. I was like, this guy won't give it up.

What? Not bad for a fact. G G. 125. 125. TG 125. Scoop! These size.

Rook, Rook, Rook, Rook, Rook, a high school basketball game the other night. Where? It was normal. No, where my, my lady, she is coaching.

That'd be interesting. But cheerily. Yeah. And the entire time when I was there, all these things just kept come back in my mind. It was just ingrained into our heads when we were younger. when we were younger. Opposite hand.

Opposite hand. Push, push, push. Chicks to the basket. Let's go. Look up, look up. It's all about getting back on D, dude. Push it, push it. But the one that really got me was how many times dudes would,

they would not go with the opposite hand, you know? I don't know that one. So when you're going to try to steal a pass. Now sports podcast. Say that the dudes at the top of the key. Right? Yeah. But they like try to open up because they're thinking to go on a fast break.

So they like go out like this. But really they have to, yeah, you're supposed to go with that outside opposite hand. Because you can recover quicker if you don't get the steel. But everybody's natural reaction is to turn and try to pick it off and go on a fast break. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Dude, a backdoor cut. How sexy is that when they don't know. Also, same shit happened though.

It is so smooth when it hits. It's, man, when you actually... But then another kid, he started his backdoor cut, and then he stopped it. And the kid threw the pass, and it went out of bounds. And so, I made it was just like... You start the cut, finish the cut! You start the cut, finish the cut!

Can't fake a cut! We're not faking cuts! You hope your girl didn't see that. You fake a cut, guy throws the ball out of bounds. You look at your point guard like it's his fault. Oh, every time, yeah. Look to see if your girl's watching? Oh, she's not watching.

Okay. coach just just on your ass already though start the cut finish the cut your favorite cheer not high school reminiscent podcast oh like that they did or that just in general or like did they have any bangers I imagine some cheer you know they recycled cheers

I mean oh yeah they've been the same sideline cheers right yeah yeah I'm trying to think though when the ones you'd be locked in when we were there because they heard him so often that one they're like bird is cold in here. That that that that that that rebel cheer. Bro, they busted it out like very, very, like rarely. It was so sick.

They did a pepper rally. I was like, yo, where'd this shit come from, dude? It was funny though because inevitably there's just a cheerleader with a knee brace. Dude, just some things I'll never understand. Hey, sit out this year. How about that? I know you love the spirit of your high school. Sit out.

Some things will never, there are, there's just a few constants in life. Stone cold lock, guarantee. That is one of them. Always. There will be a big old knee brace on a high school cheerleader. Couldn't look any worse. Couldn't look any worse. any worse, man.

Like something that doesn't belong on something else right there. Prime example. Guy with the knee brace on that Costco walking around fits. Cheerleader? Yeah. Like, yo. It's like when you're a kid and you first see like anchovies on a pizza.

That can't be real. Yeah. Is this, wait, is this the crazy eyes order from Mr. Deeds? First time you see a horse take a piss. You're like,

wait a minute. you look at your mom she's like first time i've seen it too oh god i remember when i was doing uh horse racing uh work and i did i they were when you had a horse yeah yeah yeah yeah just that time i owned a horse i told my whole family they're like what do you do at the kundkee derby i was like joey owns a horse everybody's like what i was like i don't know haven't seen it piss either yeah but i had I was going around there following me around and I had to ask the

not I had to but I was just they were following my experience around with the cameraman right and so I went up to the trainer the head trainer the owner of the horse club or the whatever they call it stable horsey sauce and I said I mean you know the phrase

pissed like a race horse do you find that to be true from your experience and he didn't really know how to answer that I think I made him a little uncomfortable but I was like I'm not asking about you. I'm asking about the horse. That thing's on jet mode. But also, I mean, you know, after like a long night,

maybe had a few beers a night before you wake up, you're letting the ride. Oh my God, sitting down. I pee standing up maybe like 17% of the time. Hey, when you're sitting down like that and like it does seem to have a little bit more velocity. I don't know if it's just because the angle or the way you're sitting. I'm Captain Plains.

lip-plop piss over here. Dude, I sit down and just let it burn, bro. Hey, with as much coffee as you drink. Oh, it's in hair pills do it too. It's just, dude, I got nothing. I got no pressure. You know what's crazy is how you think that asparagus is not, you think that that's like an overblown myth type thing.

Yeah. Bro, if you have three asparagus with dinner and then immediately out, you put your plate in the dish, you go to the bathroom, it's already there. Sometimes if you're even around it without eating it. It is weird. I even have any. This seep into my skin.

This is now in my bloodstream. Hey, kind of like it. Give my pee a little flavor, man. I don't know what we're talking about. Let's push tickies real quick. I want to keep talking about it. Sorry, we can go back to it, but I just know, you know, you got the retention. You're supposed to do it at the beginning.

So I want you to get your shit. Plano, Texas, April 2nd, babe. Rochester, New York, May 9th and 10. in Las Vegas, Nevada at the end of May, May 25th. I'm pretty sure. Chitkes, Bennypolizzi.com. Come see a show.

Pots Town, really fun last Saturday. We threw down. We threw down. Is that a neighborhood of what, outside of Philly? Yeah, it's like, yeah. Not really sure where it was at all. I'm going to be honest.

But, uh, they put me in a hotel next to the second, biggest mall in the world is called the king of prussia the mall's called the king of i was like didn't go in but oh wanted to do really bad but pottson i love you get you takeies manypiliti dot com irvine southern california uh out there in irvine i'll be at the irvine improv on thursday march 13th uh come on out starts weekend march 13th we'll talk free agency we'll talk about the o6 chargers talk about sean mcvay's spiked hair that he's still rocking from 2002 whatever you know we'll have some fun um i've been to a show out there at irvine improv before there's a really cool venue really set up perfectly i don't know if you've been there before

i haven't but um yeah dude it's got uh it's like right in the middle of just a uh a restaurant district and a mall and a movie theater and everything i've been there but i haven't done a show there but it's like that's a pop and part yeah and you just up and coming young area the mall around that Yeah. Oh, dude, that mall. Yeah. So fire. It's like futuristic.

I don't know if it's just because it's in California, too. You know, if you're in the- Half of it's outside. Yeah. Everything in California, half of it's outside. I'm like, come on. So cool. You know, I've performed, like, we've done different, you know,

it's different than it would be at, like, a St. Louis, you know. And I love St. Louis. I had a really fun show at St. Louis. But, yeah, you go to St. Louis, and it's a club that's kind of attached to a mall. You're like, I don't know. What's going on? but in California I guess this is Zoe 101

you feel like you're at the high school half outside high school yeah so yeah Thursday tickets below tickets in my bio and Irvine improv.com let's kiss kiss kiss yeah so

what are your thoughts on the DK Metcalf Trigg thought you never ask um George Pish Pickin's getting traded halfway through the year for sure. You know, I can't handle it. Two number one receivers.

I love D.K. Metcalfe. I feel like he's like the last hardest working guy in the NFL. I feel like if this show had a sidekick, that was like the fact checker like we talked about last week with reality, which didn't mean to kill around the horn guys. Whoops, RIP. Hey, don't put that out in the universe. We did.

And it happened. Whole show. I think it was all our fault. Whole show dedicated to it the next day, uh, nailing the coffin. Okay. Um,

but if we had like a sidekick like that, I think I'd want it to be D.K. Madcaf. How that'd be sick. Just with a pacifier in his mouth all the time. Pink hair. I'm like, that's our sidekick or that's our guy.

That's our stack. Stad guy. Throwing us candy and shit. Yeah. Just coming in with like just on it, dude, correcting us, staying on top of us.

Even maybe if we fucked up enough, he would actually come and just beat the shit out of us oh please please god like we're like we're like an undersized safety we've been seeing all this clips they're just like physical dk medcaf and dude's just blasting people we forget something at the

wherever we are what studio we're in we drive off he tracks us down like he do remember he who did he track down dude he started a trend in the NFL of trying hard and like running after people yeah it was uh buda baker I think. Yeah, I remember they said about how he reached like top speed of like 25 miles

an hour running. Oh, yeah. I just remember thinking, watching that clip and when the next gen stats is like, yeah, DK Metcalf, 25 miles per hour,

I just thought about how my father-in-law's golf cart maxes out at 15 and if he's really putting it down, I'm like, dang, you got to hold on here. Bro's faster than me in a school. Rose a cheetah Yeah

So I obviously had people Messaging me about it And different clubhouse members Who are you know What are we gonna think We're gonna hear about it I was like yeah you can hear about it

Basically can we get a minute on Basically I think it's really cool And it's splashy And it's exciting It's exciting in March And you know you can be excited about it And it's hey For me

The most important thing is it bucks A train that the Steelers don't ever do Steelers don't make big trade like that. They don't make big trades for offensive players like that. They certainly don't pay offensive players like that. So I think that's cool. Like we're kind of getting past hopefully the Art Rooney the second and the older days and you're coming into kind of the 21st century of NFL heading that direction. But on the other hand, it does seem to be, I told my dad, I said, hey, usually the team's making splashes in March aren't winning in November.

That's such a football guy thing. He said, at Browns make splashes in the offseason, right? I said that's what I'm talking about, you know? And now it worked for the Eagles last year and everything, but I'm just saying typically that's how it works. And so it feels like this is kind of like a band-aid of, hey, look at this, here we go, we got a receiver, we got this guy. And you give him a second round pick for him.

And meanwhile, it's still, it's early in free agency, but you got 300 yards put up on the ground in the playoffs. I mean, you got major problems on this roster that's going to get you anywhere in. minute minute minute I know you got on in here bro I was in it that's what I was doing oh I didn't feel it

oh damn started from the Todd bro that's what the people want it's uh so yeah it's a splash it's a splash we were taking a bath and cash to pay DK Metcalf but um

damn I just have a little bar right there more importantly though black helmet black visor can we talk I hope I hope. I feel like I didn't pick him or four. Oh, number four? I can't remember what number he wasn't in college at Ole Miss. I didn't know that.

Who knew him? But I don't. And yeah, who knows what's going to happen with Pickens? But, you know, cool. Somebody get excited about March, so I'll take it. What's really going to be funny is when Aaron Rogers is a quarterback. Please. I love that.

Put them anywhere. Don't care. But Aaron Rogers on any team, I'll probably like it. What else did I do this? I did something that I was thinking about, I got to tell Johnson about this. What'd you do this past weekend? Can't remember a goddamn thing.

Yeah, no, we talked about that last week, and here I am. Same shit. We just talk about asparagus piss. I am, Lord. There's just nothing like that. Oh, that's what it was. Okay.

So I spoke at a men's club last week. Like, like, there. I don't want to disclose. Oh, come on. I don't want to disclose. Yeah, it was a Catholic men's club. Why are you talking about St. Barner of his men's club like that?

Don't want to disclose, but it was so interesting because I didn't know what to expect at all. I'm heading there. I'm thinking, okay, this is a men's club. Like, I grew up around guys like this, I think, you know, older Catholic dads. But I don't know. I mean, we're going to be talking about faith. I walk in, they're praying the rosary. So I'm like, okay.

Yeah, this is. Which segment of it? I got it. I got in at the very end. So it was nice because I, last lap. Yeah, he was, uh, he was saying, he was saying the different Hail Marys and then I would just repeat. He was at, he was at that point, you know, so I got in there.

And I got the last bit of the rosary. And so I'm like, okay. Yeah, this is like a very, basically, I didn't know if it's going to be like a hangout or like an actual, almost like a Bible study, you know. Oh. like a men's gathering to really talk about faith. And so I was kind of playing the field of both. I was like, okay, I'll be ready for whatever.

And so I get in there. They're doing the rosary, like I said. And then once the rosary's done, the guy who's the contact point who asked me to come speak, he comes up. Fuck's up, man. Good to see you. Oh, out loud?

Yeah. Other guys, you know, coming in. Hey, do you want, you want a beer? Yeah. dude if you save any you fat fuck like oh wait so yeah so like they're it's a party it's a party they got three giant coolers of beer they have barbecue like pulled pork barbecue so church group is just a party they have a flat screen tv that was like jerry rigged that they were getting every market he was going down until he found the pacers game in Atlanta i'm like what what kind of fire

stick is this i saw denver i saw dallas all this shit so we're just sitting around and yeah guys are opening up beer they're like you're like bourbon like yeah no that's what's been happening at church group the whole time so like i said they got right at a tad because they're all boys in the men's club they're giving each other shit and everything is a priest walk in i wish guest of honor throwing down a beer with father pat what's he drink on thursday so it was just so wild because it was such like i don't know what this is going to be i don't know what to expect oh wait a second, I forgot to have been Catholic my whole life.

Of course when you get a group of 40, 45 plus year old men. That's deep. That's maybe right around there, 30 to 40. Catholic men together with no wives. Of course is what's going to be going on. Just any distraction to get away from your family. Please, anything? Yeah, I'll join the church group just for two hours with the boys.

I think it's like once a month But yeah I got up there and he asked me like You know five or six questions We talked for like 10 or 15 minutes To them while they're having barbecue You know And I was talking about my faith and everything right

But it was It was an interesting experience It was fun I was like okay I get it Yeah Was it in the St. Barnabas cafeteria? Was it? Because that's where I'm picturing it

It wasn't in a cafeteria It was in a It was like the at I believe it's called the Beatitudes room. Where they have like the magazine sale guy come in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then, yeah, so afterwards, right, we're sitting there. I'm like, yeah, I'll have a beer.

So I have a beer. And they're like, hey, you think this is something. You need to come on down. We do our tailgates on Friday nights in the fall. At the same spot? I was here at St. Jude. That's what's up. not a local podcast

so you drop some faith on them a little bit you know I tried I just I didn't know what I was like I don't this is an interesting situation here because everybody in the room was like blacked out drunk 48 plus there's a couple 30s in there

I think and so all these guys you know they're just what is this you're talking about but did they ask you to like say prayer as Collinsworth I would go to that for that, dude. Dude, you hear Joey sold out St. Jude Pavilion? Just reciting the entire rosary as Collins were.

Who's not going? Who's not going to that? Rosary as Mill Kiper. Who's not going? As it wasn't going to be getting his now, whatever shall be warm without an amen. everything's Mel Kuiper themed Kuiper's best available

it's like brisket pulled pork apple butter biscuit I'm like damn I don't know that's a good top five dude I love Mel Kiper oh we can start talking draft dude oh yeah

now sports podcast hey they're defrosting him Clubhouse he's working his way out old Mel coming out from underneath the winter spell dude when do you when do you see Mel Kuiper's best available and it's still the first round. It's just like the juiciest best available ever.

There's still like the top guy on there. You're like, whoa, am I allowed to see this right now? Travis Hunter's still on Mel Kiper's best available? Like, I'm early. Oh, man, nothing better than spring Thursday night. It's like 70 degrees on the dot sun setting. And you just

got the draft tone, the draft ringer in there. bring back drafts on Saturday. I'm about it. It is weird to think about that that's what we grew up with. And there's probably some clubhouse. There's definitely clubhouse who remembers that vividly and some clubhouse that are like, man, I kind of forgot.

I don't even remember watching on Saturdays. It was dumb to put it on a Saturday, but it just felt so good. Why did it start at 738 a.m.? I was like, yeah. The pick is in. sometimes you know you ever yeah you ever have those like when you're with your girl you know or like a new let's say you're starting out dating you know the early phases right and it's like you have the

if you could go back to like one point in time in history like what would it be like what era you know typically somebody would be like you know i think maybe like the 60s because so much history happened there you know your girl's just like i think like i think 70s just because like I really inside I'm like an inner hippie for sure I'm an old soul like for me what I would say is just like probably April 24th 2007 when the NFL draft was on Saturday noon seven NFL draft yeah and not even Saturday the Sunday where it was like round three yeah I can remember going outside playing on an eight foot basketball hoop just having a dunk contest my friend running back inside his

see who the Colts and Steelers pick. Do they pick like 324? All right dude, we'll go outside for 20 minutes. Come back in. Yeah, it was. Oh, I came in too early. I got to watch the Chiefs and 49ers pick. Oops.

The clock kind of moved like Christmas, Mark. It kind of moved like Christmas Eve. Like the timing on draft night doesn't feel the same as actual time. When your team picks and like five picks, that feels like an eternity. That first round lasts forever. Yeah, it does. When a team's on the club,

clock for like they take all the time remember that I'm like you guys don't know right come on this has been four months jp lozman let me help you out get j p lozman another mention but just imagining being like a 20 year old dude with no responsibilities or care in the world

and you're just waking up cracking the first cold one at 10 a.m. on a Saturday and April while you're outside flinging the football around and then have the draft come on I'd have it on the silky pipes of Kiper Dab-d-d-b-dab-b-b-b-b-b-b-dab-b-dab-b-dab. Radio draft coverage is interesting, man.

You have that on? Totally different crew. When you go from watching, like, in a sports podcast, when you go from watching a game, like, at your house, but then you got to go somewhere, and then you turn the game on in the car. Totally different vibe.

I don't even know if I care about this anymore. You're also like, it wasn't that loud on TV. Oh, yeah. Why is it so much louder? Way more into it on the radio. Because they're nerds. No, dude, you know, the radio gets that crowd mic. They drip.

They hang that thing over, literally sitting in the lap with the guy in Section 242. Oh, yeah. He's like, fuck that! It's picking all of it up. Slurs. TV. I'm like, I love radio. TV.

They're just, uh, no, they're, they're up there cozy and comfy. You're like, dude, Lucas Oil was not bringing it today. Getting in the car thrown on Mayte. It's bad. Yep. Not that, uh, we, listen to sports. Football season.

It's not even football season. Dude, you know I kind of miss though? What? Fish fries. I said that at the men's club. I was like, dude, fish fries is kind of where it went down. They boo you. Until you cried.

Pussy! Eat some meat! I was like, that was. It was like a popping event. Head up the fish fry, you know? You go with your friend. You'd be staying at your friend's house. You'd go with him and two other buddies.

You're like, oh, damn, we're going to fish fry. I'm going to see McKenzie there, dude. She's going to be there. Bring to God the girl you liked was at the fish fry. Right. And then afterwards, it's like, yeah, then we're going back. We're staying up, man. We're getting Mountain Dew AIM.

It was so crazy. Maybe a little girls gone wild feel bad about it. Yeah. 3 a.m. Not sleeping tonight. We're going to the fish fry. Fish fry was the move. Hey, fish fry than the mall.

That's late, dude. Fish fry can go all late. Fish fry. Yeah. Get a little. pre-game warm up at the mall maybe get a little anti-an snack you know maybe like a luca pizza soda oh that's correct yeah just and hold it like this look it around dude yeah yeah yeah oh yeah i think we're i have 63 dollars to my name what's up what's up what's up going in picking up the pair of the team

jordan's just looking at them not gonna get them but kind of it's just all an act wearing the same thing you wore to the mall the last four times you're there what's the fuck yeah right dude. At the same time though, yeah, you were like, I don't know, this fish fry might be kind of lame, dude. Like, I don't even like fish. Let's just get pizza. Why can we have a pizza party? Hey, sometimes there's a hack at the fish fry and they'd have cheese pizza. One time I went to the fish fry, they had a pizza hut cheese pizza. And I was like, this is what? Okay. Now I get it. And they had it in two spots. They had the gym fish fry going crazy. Then you go down to the cafeteria because it was so like popping. Yeah. They were sent, hey, we're packed out in the gym.

really it was like that bro it was like early fish fry then you go yeah down the road in land less less popular dude last week of lent who's going everybody everybody everybody everybody's giving up everybody's like we made it this far it's a forgiving god all the families are at wing stop you're like well all right i will tell if you don't feel like shit when you eat meat on a friday you ever do that you're with your friend public school friend they had pepperoni pizza you're like picking it off what's up you know like pepperoni I thought it's just a yeah I don't

nah I'd straight sin and eat it because I didn't want to like look like a weirdo yeah well I believe in God and it was all number I don't eat meat oh Jesus Christ now I gotta explain the whole religion to him like I'll just eat the pepperoni it was a numbers game though like if there were if you were outnumbered

yeah you would just eat the pepperoni yeah just but but but if it wasn't you know yeah when you're Catholic homies is there. You see if he's eating it? Right. Yeah. You're going to eat it. You don't know. You're not telling me. So I eat it first. And then you can blame it. Okay. Yeah. Did you give up anything for Lent? I didn't even know what was going on. Who does? It was so low key. Like I saw a couple like pictures on Twitter of like people making fun of ashes. And I was like, oh, that's happening. Oh, it's happening. it, man. Would you give up?

I tried to, I've been doing it. Already failed. Well, I tried to. I didn't fail. I've been doing it. Setting a limit, an hour limit on all social media for a day.

For the whole day. Wow. I don't know if I could do that. It's been tough, especially with free agency, you know, NFL. You got to be on there. I got to be checking the sea, man.

I got to see my, Quarterback is, dude. God gets that. Not even like your job. You're like free agency. If it was just my job, shoot, I could do 30. I can do 20, man. Just get on there, post something, leave. Yeah, yeah. But I got to be in the know.

God understands. I don't know who's playing quarterback. I always do that too. And I'm like, God understand. It's pretty wild that you can do that. You can set the exact social, all the app, whatever app that you want, you can click that one, set a certain time. do it for you could customize all of it i didn't know that yeah it's pretty wild my screen time is unhealthy yeah i i really needed to nip that in the bud and also i'm doing the i was joking about

this i was like i'm a point of being a catholic to where you know it's not so much about it's not so much about giving things up as it is like now i'm gonna add something yeah i used to be on my grind so now i did uh call a different relative who i don't speak to regularly once a week. Oh, damn, that's really nice. Honestly, Father Armbrister asked Wednesday mask out my ass. His homily, he was talking about to all the kids,

about Lent and how, you know, it's not just about giving up Xbox, it's about adding something if you want. It's about calling your grandparents. I wish I could call mine. They'd certainly love it. It's like, you know what, I am going to do that. That's crazy.

I never called my grandma or grandpa one time. Not even to thank him for a birthday card. No, my mom used to make me write thank you notes. I'm so done with thank you notes, dude. I was like, what about a call would really knock this out quick. Now I got to learn, I got to like ask you

where the stamps are. The stamps, the, the, the address, never know which side to put it on. I still Google image letter. Every time I have to mail something, I'm like, do I put my address on here? I don't want people to know where I live, really. It really makes me feel badly when, like,

I got a couple friends and their wives were like, they are on it with the thank you. cards, dude, every single thing that happens. Everything, like, it won't even, it'll just be like, they'll send you like a thank you card for like your friendship. You're like, dude, it means a lot. I didn't send you for, you know, and I'm like, dude, you wrote me a thank you card one time?

Still look at it. Still, look at it. Still read it. It does mean a lot. But see, that wasn't a thank you card. That's, I'm a big fan of like writing, like writing someone like a note. Like an actual handheld note, physical copy of you sit down, you write it out just like a hey,

you know, appreciate you, you know, that kind of thing. From Joey, ghost dealers. Yeah, I had a picture of Ben Raltosburger in it. I was like, do he mean to give this to me? Hand drawn, number seven. Super Bowl rings on his fingers. This guy won't give it up.

What, what got me is Peyton Manning. That commercial, you remember the commercial when he was retiring? There was like 18,000 of them that they were dedicating to Peyton because he was retiring but i think it was the gatorade one where all these different people throughout his life just like pulled out a thank you like a not thank you but pulled out like a handwritten note that peyton had given to him over the years there was like 15 people on there random teammates custodians oh that's it tony dungy his dad classic right yeah yeah i was like damn man yeah that does mean a lot Peyton can do it i can do it yeah pretty sick pretty sick move but yeah but thank you

notes for what you got me for my wedding. Sorry. Oh, man. That's insanity. 250 of you? Nah. No chance. Hey, how about a mass email? Thanks. Thanks. You guys got me all the wrong shit anyway. Thanks. That's exactly what I'm saying. People get so been out of shape about it too, dude. No, I don't even think about it. Like, it doesn't even cross my mind. No, but I'm saying like my great aunt and shit, you know, like that generation, there's some people they really do. bent out of shape, you know. She'll, like, posts on Facebook about, man, I guess just some things mean different things to other people that they don't, or that they used to mean more.

Dude, nobody's more like crazy on social media than your aunt. They say everything. I'm like, you're going to, you're going to school me. You're going to school me on the things that I should and shouldn't be doing. You smoked on airplanes. He smoked in Applebee's. You blew it in my face. What are you, you're going to make me feel bad about a thank you note?

You have a gambling problem. let me tell you things too about what's right and what's wrong gosh i watched porn at your house you're gonna tell me i need to write you a thank you note what about that all right let's get into some clubhouse here clubhouse tub house team these guys at jimathica we're just the thank you now oh my god oh my god sorry you said oh my god i looked up whole stealers and i thought they made a signing but from Joel.

Braxton Miller spin move. Burby boy, whoa. I love you. Oh, yeah, that Braxton Miller spin move. Revolutionary? Probably doesn't get talked about them enough. You guys were talking about the church lady piano player. Well, gentlemen, that lady was my mom.

And then Joey mentioned playing a song like Hark the Herald Angel sing. Well, imagine waking up for Saturday afternoon Buckeye football with that being played in the dining room. My mom had a piano and practice almost every day for church. As a kid, I would run around causing a ruckus in the back halls during choir practice too. I always found the candy stash. Did you guys ever sneak into the church kitchen? Always could count on some crisp grape juice.

Damn, that's tart. Slot my ass with a Jim Tressel vest, baby. Go Buckeyes. Jim Tressel, best coach ever, I promise. I think he's about to run for governor of Ohio. He's going to get it. Yeah. You went a national championship at Ohio State.

Who's not vote? Yeah, him. What are he talking about? Bro, he was so good. Dude, the, yeah. Those were the days, bro. The church kitchen. Yeah, it was like,

wasn't always back in the room where you would get ready to be a certain altar boy? I never did that. But I always walked by the room and I was like, what is it going on in there? I always felt weird looking in.

I can imagine you not doing that or wanting to be a part of that at all. I never understood it. I was like, that looks so confusing. How do they know when to like stand up and stuff? You had to go, we had to go to like training.

I still would mess that up, I feel like. Yeah, it was intimidating. It was the same vibe as baseball for me. I'm like, I don't know how they know what they're doing. It was really, it was like funny. I was like, damn, that's confusing. All right. I'm just not going to do it. It was funny because like when you were an altar boy, dude,

you had like, you would get a sign to different mass times or you'd have to like sign up for them. Yeah. And dude, if you had like Sunday at 11 a.m. That was so big house showtime, a college game day. Rookie, rookie year. Yeah. For all your first time? 11 a.m. I'm like, no, no, no. No, no. Let me do Saturday at 5. That's even kind of wild. Let me do Sunday morning at 7. Start me up with Sunday morning at 7.

Yeah. There's 18 people there. JV. Game 5 is getting warmed up. There's 18 people there. Half of them are so old. They can't even, they're not even barely alive. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

It's just the scrimmage. Yeah. Let's start us off there. Get them out. You know, I kneel at the wrong time. Nobody's, nobody's seeing this. Nobody's looking up. Packed house standing room only 11 a.m.

Mass. No. Girlie likes in the front row. For sure. Hey, the robe that you got too is one of those two shorts. You're basically just wearing like a kilt. You know, the ones that were supposed to go down to your ankles, you know, all the way down, you get a too short one. Now you got weird.

You're wearing like, wearing Nike shocks and khaki pants. You can just see the whole thing. One of your socks ankle, the other one mid. You're like one sock Adidas, one sock Nike. We do laundry on Mondays. I know. We do laundry on Monday. I know.

we do lot nice the khakis you wore have a grass stand on them because of Friday football after school and you didn't wash them but then you put them back on for church

because you're like I'll have my robe anyways can't see it doesn't matter what I wear underneath shin of grass just messing up and you look like shit god

yeah dude those are like Saturday Sunday 11 a.m. That's Nancy and Romo you know Sunday at seven The eighth grader up there Sunday at seven

You're like All right maybe Maybe sparrow deities You know I can handle that That's that's Cardinals Broncos At 405 Yeah

While the other game is like Chiefs Bills You know that's 11 a.m. Chiefs Bill Nancy Romo 7 a.m. We're good. Yeah Let me slide by

And mess up And have no idea what I'm doing You got like hand the priest A book and stuff I'm like yo This is crazy This is? This?

Turn it to the right page. Yeah. How do I know? Yeah, the right page? Are you kidding me? And it kind of was up to the last person because it would have that big string bookmark in there. Yeah.

And so you're like, I hope they shut it. I hope they shut it where it's supposed to be. What are we doing flipping through? I don't know where all this crap is. I don't know where Mark is in this bitch. What? Biggest Bible ever, too. Yeah.

You're like, no, no, no. this isn't a Bible man this is this is uh this is like the actual commandment like a tablet commandment just two yeah that's basically what you're holding i don't know i can never do it i can't believe my dad didn't make me do it honestly see that makes sense though because your dad so just he like it it would have made him feel uncomfortable watching you up there so he's like i don't you would have to like get there early yeah couldn't leave in and out couldn't leave early too no my dad was not leaving early. My mom, though. Dad wasn't leaving early? Hell no, bro.

My dad got so mad when I told him we left early with my mom one time. I was like, oh, I had to leave Ashwin's a day master early. Because we had the two kids and it was just like, you know, you make 40 minutes with there. You're like, all right. Give me no better feeling than getting communion and just dipping. Oh. Throw one of these up. Peace. Dude, I got a confession to make one time my mom told me and my sisters to go to

church like on a Saturday night. We just got the bulletins and went to Ritters in my home. I was like, this is so cool. I mean, that is totally on your mom. Yeah, but my sisters are responsible, so I was like, I will probably do the right

thing. Like, yeah. But they just audible last minute. I was like, oh, we're doing this. Had to get the proof. Yeah, we were there. Had to get the proof. I didn't say a damn word. Because I would have ruined everything if I would have talked. I was like, peanut butter on my lips

sprinkle on my neck can't wait to watch Boy Meets World I love Jesus tomorrow free morning shut up get out of here we deserve it

go to church so much I'm like can we get a free space damn I know remember trying to pull that shit everywhere I already went this week it's not real you had no choice for real

I'm like, we went on Wednesday, like, if we're really talking about it. Like, we went, we already went two days ago. Just saying, we can miss a Saturday trying to negotiate with your parents. One time I was like, yo, can I just watch it on TV? You ever pull that one? Well, now that's an actual, I mean, it's a big thing. COVID, really. Yeah, now every, every church has it.

There's like skip ad in the middle of it. Right. Oh, that shit ain't real. What do you do? How do you get communion? Right. That's what I'm saying. The whole point of mass is to get communion.

But if you're just watching it, you're just doing a Bible study, does God count the TV? Eating crustables and stuff, getting up, peeing, reading magazines while you pee. Doing a Eucharistic minister at home. You take the club courses for it just so you can distribute like a ritz cracker. It's like a blue apron box with just like Eucharist and wine. Yeah. I was like, it's amazing that every parish does that now, like gives that option as if anybody wanted to go in the first. Hey, if you can't make it, it's just

stream it. We stream it. All right. I'll just put it on the background while I'm doing everything else I need to do during this hour. Laundry. Dishes. Vacuuming. Can't even hear. You like stop when he's doing the consecration. You know, okay, maybe. Just a sec. Just pause in this. You go last channel to watch SportsCenter real quick.

Then you go back to it because he was taking too long. Are they doing top ten? No. Okay. Go back. Oh, there's homily, dude. Geez, they're making the game picks on Fox right now. Wrap it up. I want to see you Jimmy Johnson's picking. Did he go Vikings? He didn't go Vikings.

Man, we did Jimmy Johnson in, too. Dude, hey, what should we cancel next? Or what should we just say something? All right, let's get to, uh, we did Max. From Rob. Is this a religion podcast? I know. My God.

From Rob, sleeveless waffles, gentlemen, I have found a good use for those waffle shirts of Christmas past that have been rotting at the bottom drawer of the dresser in the closet you forgot existed. At first look, eh, kind of suss, but I'm telling you, something about the freedom of the arms and the warmth of the body keeps you feeling productive. The same thermals that used to leave puddles under the chucks and that one hot student teacher in the parking lot as I stepped out of my 95 Nissan maximum with a fresh cut, some clean air forces, and a pair of Paxon stone wash jeans, 10 years later with sleeves. cut off has me walking around feeling like 05TO 2014 Des Bryant hybrid love the show everything about you all agreeable as fuck sometimes it actually pisses me off sorry don't know if I'm doing this right but smack my ass with the same pain the first time your dad threw that plasticy high school bade and ball at you full speed when you were seven and he had to act like it is it bad and what is it

remember that brand jett act like it didn't hurt because you ain't no bitch but that mf hurt love the shot keep up the brilliant work and it's a picture of a cutoff cut off waffle cut off waffle I don't know how I feel about wearing cutoffs anymore a guy who wears the jersey all the time but

uh yeah that is cool around the house you just gotta you just got to make sure it's got the right cut I was never good I could dude I still to this day never understood how the cool older

football players in high school cut their shit so perfectly no jagged no pirate cut it was just seamless. How'd you do it? How'd you do it? I cared about. You just got to cut it a little. You can't like cut it on the... Like a basketball jersey kind of.

Mm-hmm. And then you can't go with... Bro, I was good. They needed to have a course for that because I could never wear cutoffs unless they were pre-bought. But then the pre-bought ones were always too wide. They're too boxy. That's on seam. I used to have people over to my house and they'd just bring me all their t-shirts and I cut them. It was so fun. They'd be doing whatever. I'd just be cut off. putting t-shirts on the table just like chime in every so often oh my god dude june night in 2008 doing that that sounds that sounds good yeah i could never figure it out was like you and luke burkhart always had just perth was nasty with the cuts i was like not a lot of big guys know

how to play it like perfect perfect in like that you could see the you could see the beater underneath a little bit you know what a move for crazy guys weren't cut off throw the beater on how to sky ever stretch marks Hey, necklace with the cross, hottest guy ever. Yeah. Cake stepping, underarmor clades.

I'm not talking about Luke Burke Hart Hart still. What are you talking about? From Andrew. Sent from MacBook. Hey guys, longtime listener, first time emailer.

Sweet. Love the ship. Can you guys please fill me in on the haute? Come here, haunti, skit. I don't remember hearing an explanation about it

and would love the context behind it. My wife must have been nagging in my ear about something I should have been doing around the house while I was trying to listen to these guys. That's probably why I didn't catch it originally. Anyways, slap my ass after I run full speed into the Wrigley Field Ivy

without realizing there's a full brick wall behind it. Oh my God, that's all I think about. Tell the training step that I'm okay, even though I suffered three broken ribs, a torn meniscus, and a lot of embarrassment after not making the catch. Thanks, Andrew. Glad you emailed in. They don't have a padded wall underneath the Ivy?

No. Brick boy. Bricky. have people gotten hurt doing that yeah Jesus Christ I know what I'm watching on YouTube when you leave Top 10 brick wall fails Cubs yeah people slam into that um

honte hey honty Pretty much is making fun of like NPC husbands Yeah we like robot husbands that are like I'll take this picture with you huntie Like every Like every girl's like that loves to be a wife Like their page is just all like them and their husband

Like posted at different events same picture Yeah that's the What shirt should I wear hunting? That's it Yeah that that's really the origin is just we know We're at that point in our life, our mid-20s When that was happening constantly And so we would refresh Instagram

And that's just all it was and like Ben said, it'd be it. One of those classic, they're at everybody else's wedding. Don't take a single picture with the bride or groom or anybody, but it's just them. Love celebrating the Swaitowski's. Just a picture of not the Swatowski's. I'm like, I mean, I don't know. Like maybe put them in there.

I don't know. Something. Why'd you even put them in the caption if it's not with them? Love celebrating the Finches. Hunter, I love you. It's a... Huntie breakfast? You just joked

Auntie breakfast in bed Yeah that guy That's the guy who buys like his wife A teddy bear for Valentine's Day Like dude Right No who's doing that Teddy bear and chocolate for my hunty

We're doing dinner at a movie Dinner at 7 Showtime at 910 I make the plans Hunty I love you You don't worry about anything Hunty

She hates it She's like okay And so yeah It's so thoughtful everything sucks. We just birth it from that and we just made it to where all these guys who were doing that, yeah, they were just robots. Hey, I know what,

I know what video we need to re-release. And they would, they would, they would, like, they would, like, short out and shit.

I'll give you a massage, honey. Yeah, like, they, because they were off a little bit, right? Because they're robots, they wouldn't say honey.

Huntie, will you marry me, honey? I twitching. Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with my best friend, Haunthe. He's like, he really loves me. He's like,

Zzzzz. Chicken pot pie tonight? I make. I'm, I don't watch football when it's our day on Sunday. Hey. No, I don't want to hang with the boys, Hathi.

I want to go to the pumpkin patch. You're my only friend. hunting fantasy football you're my fantasy hunty it's like the worst video we ever did people hated oh is the only one I like how come every video I like just bombs I'm like the comments were just lined with just can't all be winners

swing and a miss hey this guy usually it was a posted on your channel this guy usually doesn't miss yeah yeah that kind of shit me and Ben while we're filming it and editing it like laughing the hardest we've ever laughter like, okay. Maybe they, we really just don't get it. I don't know. I don't know. God, I really love that. No one else did.

Maybe it, but it was like a select few. I remember there was like a crowd that was just like, yes, I get it. But then, dude. Yeah, it was like we made it to where it's like a gift that you could get your robot hunting. Only for Valentine's Day?

Order your hunting. Yeah, door opens up. Hello, honey. That's every husband. Well, you know what I mean. Every one of those husbands. It's, uh, it wasn't, we, we elevated it from a couple years prior where we did rent a BF. Oh yeah.

Thanksgiving of like 2018. Yeah, and that kind of worked out. That did. People liked that one. Even on YouTube. Yeah, people like that one. Which it was, it was just not a robot. It was just like an actual guy.

But then we upped it because. There was just a handful of these dudes that we could see that, like, yeah, it was if the, the girl just, like, drug him in, placed him there as of, like, a wax figure robot. And we're just like, this guy can't be real. These guys can't be real. Does he have thoughts? What do you thinking about, bro? What do you think about right now? My love for you.

I set a photo shoot for you and us. But it's just like, yeah, everything per-you-you- know what I mean? Just like, I'm going to go cut the grass now, hauntie. Just everything's so husband. Grill out? No. I'm going to go cut the grass and fix the deck, Hottie. God.

Cleaning the gutters today for Hunty. Just the most cliche guy stuff. Would you like flowers? Again? I don't want to hang with the boys, Hottie. I want to do book club with you and your cousins. God. Picnic?

Just us. Doesn't eat anything because he's a robot, though. People are driving by. Yeah, the chick is just like, you da, la la la, la. Eating shit trying to eat it's on him. Ants all over him because he's not real. I love you.

Oh. Oh. The son's beating on him. There's just smoke coming out of his neck. girl's like, this is my dream life. This is exactly what I pictured in my head. The right eye starting to droop a little bit, like meltdown. You can see metal underneath.

You're perfect for me. She's like, her friend and her husband walk by. He's like a real guy and she's trying to cover him up. Oh, oh, sorry. You got it. Let me fix you there, honey. He got all something on your face His eyes popping out of his head

Oh, you got something on your mouth Putting his eye back in his eye socket She's like turn back on you motherfucker Don't spoil this for me Do not spoil this for me Oh, Jets are signing Justin Fields Hello Aaron Rogers It's time

Breaking news, breaking news These guys podcast Dude, can you break the news Is Colin Coward right now Oh, Justin Fields Going to New York Justin Fields. He's young. He wants to go to the club. He wants to be seen.

New York doesn't have aqua beaches. They don't have clear water. But what they do have is a whole lot of cameras. And that's what Justin Fields was available. Yo, gas. Wow. Clip it. It just turns it. Sorry.

Sorry. Ivan. It used to be it's hard. Now it's just breath. A whole lot of cameras. God doesn't even say it. I love it. Wow, dude. This is wild. Really is going to be Aaron Rogers.

Sick. And old Mike T's just going to, yeah, we're trying to do everything we can to squeeze as much out of this last run here. And it's all going to be the same shit. What's the other option? Not that this is a sports podcast or anything. But if they don't get Aaron Rogers, what happens at quarterback? Russell Wilson. Oh, he's still there?

Or Daniel Jones? No, no. Russell's a free agent, too. Well, glad I have that terrible talent signed by Justin Fields. Whoops. Does anyone have his jerseys? Is your dad or anything?

We'll be a funny jersey eventually to have like this year. Do you have it? No. My dad has a Russ one, though. That's kind of cool. Wow, breaks right now. Cool. Okay, let's do one more email,

and then I got a goal. From Jonathan, not a hockey podcast. Boys, since you're not a hockey podcast, I figured this would be a great place to go Molinar to my favorite team, the Buffalo Sabres. They have the worst run. I love you. They are the worst run organization in pro sports, and our owner has killed my love for the game, while also somehow owning the bills for the recent return to grace. How can you get one franchise so right, but the other is so wrong? As our playoff drought approaches 14 straight years, I want to know how many seasons would your favorite team have to miss the playoffs,

such be completely irrelevant in the league before you stop being a fan of the team. smack my ass like you're banging the boards after your teammate just want to fight in a beer league hockey at midnight on Wednesday. Sitting from BBM. This is a cool, like, that's a dude that wasn't going to email until we started talking about hockey. Yeah. So I love that. That's why. That's why we're branching out.

That's why we're a hockey and baseball podcast only. That's right. Baseball starting. We did. Yeah. When's opening day? Well, get this. The Cubs play in Japan.

I hate it. Cubs play in Japan. Two weeks, less than two weeks? Just play at home. I know, but they're trying to internationally. I got Shohei Otani. Yeah, yeah, I know. Wait.

They play who? The Dodgers. The Cubs Dodgers in Japan because the Cubs have Sayas Suzuki and Shota, Imanaga, and the Dodgers have Shoheyotan. And they have, I forget his name, but he's another Japanese pitcher, or pitcher from Japan. And so they've got a big audience. No, that's what's up. how I mean this doesn't really apply to Ben I guess no if I was a fan of a team and they

they didn't make the playoffs like 40 years in a row I'd still be a fan of the team 40 or 4 just whatever like he's talking about how many years 14 like sometimes I like it when guys like teams that aren't that good I'm like oh thank God I like met a guy that likes uh I don't know yeah you do you do like appreciate it yeah it's like all right sick he's like a, like, ride or die. And, you know, they have like their moments too.

And, you know, like when a team that sucks has a good moment, you think about the guy. You're like, oh, I bet he's going crazy right now at his house. Like, they just drafted him. Like, it's probably not going to work out because they suck. But yeah. Why am I talking about the Browns like that? I mean, I think that's kind of cool. The Cubs went from 2008 until 2015.

You knew they were going to get one one day, though. They all recycle and, like, come around. But they, that was their streak for the playoffs. And they, like, three of the worst years of Major League history in there. Like 2011 to 2013, I think combined for the most losses in that three-year stretch. I'm pretty sure. 2011, 2012 for sure. Were they talking about, like, canceling that are, like, moving the team?

I love when they do that. Oh, we're so bad. Hey, moving them to L.A. That's like every team in Indianapolis. The threat, dude. How many times have you heard the stories about, like, the Pacers and the Colts? Yeah. Yeah, I was in fifth grade.

I was like, yo, is that for real? Hey, whoa. And then we got, you know, they got Payne Manning, said we. Then they got Payne Manning and won the Super Bowl. Like, it happens to every team eventually. Like, you can't convince me like one team. Like the Browns at one point, they're going to start like rolling over people. They have to.

I never want. Yeah, who's another team that's just like, damn? They can't catch a break. The Jets. Oh. Yeah, were the Jets ever good? Well, yeah, they kind of were. They won the Super Bowl.

They won Super Bowl three with Joe Namath. No, but they were kind of good. Not that this is like a 2000s podcast or anything. When they had, uh, what's his face? Mark Sanchez. Nah, before that, before that. Benny Testiverty. Nah, after that.

Homeboy Pennington. Oh, Chad Pennington for a couple years. They put it on the Colt. It was like 4110. They beat the, like, Pete Colts. I was like, Jess are good. Yeah. Chad Pennington or Herm Edwards I think

Or was that? A. Wayne Krabet 16th time I've ever said his name of him Chad Pinnington with that little Revital year in Miami. Oh, did he? Remember that? Yeah. I don't remember that. Yeah, 2008. It was the year that Brady tore his ACL

and the Dolphins won that division. It won the AFC. So weird. Yeah. I love it when a guy has a revival year. I'm like, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, but then everybody gets too, like, It's the same show with like Darnold and Gino Smith and everything. Everybody is super excited about it, but then like two years later, you're like, ah, that's, that's why. It didn't last.

I love revival year, guys. It is fun. It's a fun ride later on that. Who else did that? I thought that that's what Russ was having. I thought that we were there with Russ. I thought we were there with Russ, but. Revival guys.

Name your favorite revival guy in the comment. Cool. Cat Annie. All right. These guys, right? It's good. It's good. Skip.

Skip. Skip. Up's it and. Upson, end. Yeah. Subscribe to the show on YouTube. Team of these guys. These guys clubhouse.

Sorry. These guys Clubhouse on YouTube. Leave us comment. Like the video. Send us an email. Team these guys at gmail.com. Keep getting to them more and more. Can't believe it broke the Fields news,

even though it's not. going to come out until tomorrow, but still say it is. Maybe we can fast track it. Oh, fast rig. Launch date or lunch date? Guy says fast track now. I love you, Huntie.

All right. Get your tiki. Shows coming up. Plano, Texas, April 2nd, Rochester, New York, May 9th and 10th, Las Vegas, Nevada, May 24th. Get your tickies. Go to Joey's show.

Irvine. All tickies in the link. underneath. Love you guys. Subscribe. Rate, review. Hello, homie. Um, love you. Junior Lake. O.J. McDuffie. Make that. No, Calvin. I did Junior Lake play for the Cubs? Oh, shit. I thought we were doing baseball guys down. Jeff Bagwell.