THESE GUYS! - Spit on me, Bill Cowher

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

this week the burpy boys talk about benny's alt-twitter account💕 WATCH BENNY on LOVERS and LIARS (on CW APP)🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔����𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 Raleigh - Aug 22 https://www.goodnightscomedy.com/shows/254522Buffalo - Sept 19 https://buffalo.heliumcomedy.com/shows/254521Austin - Oct 10 https://www.capcitycomedy.com/shows/254523San Diego - Nov 7 https://www.micdropcomedy.com/shows/264571Phoenix - Dec 5 https://www.micdropmania.com/shows/264572🔺𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/products/these-guys-hoodie-1?

early days, like when when dudes would get drafted, like in the first top 10, their jersey would say number one. Remember that? Dude, the first 12 dudes in the NFL draft, I was like, they're all going to be number one. Dude, Edron James for the Colts number one. I was like, that's hard as fuck, dude. I was going crazy. I was like, he's going to be number one. Not bad for a fat guy.

Yep. TG. 94. 94 94 until infinity. Just 75 songs stuck in my head did I? Right when I woke up. Arianna Grande song? Because I'm so when do you?

Is that her? You say Ariana? You say Ariana. I say Ariana. I say Ariana. I think I say Ariana. Did I say, I don't know I don't know which one Did I say Mario?

I say Mario I say Mario. Yeah, I don't know either way. But that song is just banging in my brain. First time a church song isn't in my head. Oh, I don't know. It's nice. Hey, guess what clubhouse? Got a Christmas song in my head.

What's up with that? It sounds like every day in my head. in my life. Don't you just like to rip a little Elvis just blue Christmas every now and then? Yeah, there was one Christmas

Oh yeah. Okay, yeah. I was listening to a Christmas song like all year around. It was that God, I think it was like the, it's like the, it's like the Beach Boys or something

or Beastie Boys or some shit. And the Beastie Boys, Beach Boys, same thing. No? No, definitely not. Same thing. Same guy. Definitely not.

Yeah, Beach Boys is a little St. Nick. There it is. I play that all year around. Beach Boys, Beastie Boys, same guy. Russell Wilson, Bruno Mars, same guy. Did you get my quarterback out of your mouth? The, uh... Drew Bloodsoe, Doug Flutty, kind of the same guy.

Drew Bloodsoe, Doug Flutty... Drew Bletso, John Elway, same guy. Drew Bletso, Doug Flutty, would be brothers and a football movie where Drew Bloodsoe is the one, like the All-American one that has like the arm and the height and the look and the name.

And then Doug Flutty is the little brother. Doug Flutty's a little brother who is like always scrappy in the underdog and he finally gets his big moment in the sun at the end and he triumphs over his big brother. It's basically like the plot of little giants, really. Doug Flutty beats Drew Bloodsoe in the end.

or do they end up on the same team somehow and everybody wins no he beats him in the end and then drew blutsow comes over to him and the when the crowds rush on the field he finds them and he's like hey little bro I never told you always looked up to you oh dude that's a good line bro even though he's taller hey little bro you were always the one It was always you, little bro.

I think the looked up to you on is it. Wow, I'm crying. All right. Upcoming shows. Let's push ticks. Push ticks. Push ticks. Push ticks.

Raleigh. August 22nd. Buffalo, September 22nd. Wow. Austin, October 10th, San Diego, November 11th. Phoenix, December 5th. Sexpolitzi.com. get your tickies or get them right under here.

Did you really change it to sex polizzi? My other website wasn't working, so I just had to make a website real quick. Only domain available. Not that I wanted it to be that or anything. From the first, no, I just already bought,

I bought the domain when I was like 14. We just had it. Yeah, I remember you had those shoes that had literally said sex polizzi on them. And then the other side of them said, go to hell. God damn. The good old days right there.

The good old days. Nike ID shoes and you could put anything you want on. That was dangerous. Did you ever just go on Nike ID just like at school? No, I never did because I was always afraid to show you because I knew you'd just make fun of me for whatever design I came up with. You could always tell when somebody had a bad pair of next. Nike IDs. Like,

eh, shouldn't have gone with red on that part, big dog. You just be like, ah, ref joints,

nice. The way you could put anything, any, any, you could type anything on there. Shoes with fuck off

on the back. Who's not buying those, bro? That's so much better than doing it with a jersey, like a custom

Jersey because I think custom jerseys they figured it out by this point there's things that you can't put on there and then also like that's too obvious you know you don't want to be the guy who's at Lucas Oil who has you know

huge huge dick 69 or whatever the fuck on the back of your jersey like that's just too hobby it's pretty good if you got the shoes on there that's where you're just walking you're hiding in plain sight kind of low key Yeah. And it's like an afterthought on the shoes.

You buy the jersey so you can customize that. But the shoes, it's like you're really wearing those for the shoes. You just like, you know, last minute, you're like, okay, I'll put something stupid on the back. Yeah, but like halfway through English class, they brought out the laptops for us. Just Nike ID the whole time. You guys have laptops in English class? They're just like wheeled in a cart Like a couple days a week

And we all had laptops You had to up too Yeah Remember that? And it was never like Apple products It was always like a weird school brand HP bro

How poor You always felt bad for the There was always like when you went to college you know, everybody had Macs that there's always that one friend years that had the HP and you're like, ah, all right, man. Yeah, you keep talking yourself into it.

Should I get this one, bro? Really close friend of mine. Which one should I get? Neither am we're Apple computers. I was like, uh, neither in save your money. Actually, you don't even,

you don't even need. I was like, damn, graduation didn't roll in, like you thought it would, did it? Yeah. Dude, I got this shirt. I got this shirt for graduation. What is it?

It's like skinny athletic LeBron, like, turned into a lion. Never worn it in my life. You actually got her for your high school graduation? Yeah. Like, I don't know. Like, my grandma gave me some money for graduation in high school, but my mom was like, just pick like four things you went off the internet. And I was like, sick.

So I got these like USC receiver gloves. Dude, I got this LeBron shirt. And then I got a Kobe one too. But my weed friend stole my Kobe one. So no idea where that is probably worth $200 million. Weed friend. Everybody's got the weed friend. I was like, you know how like your friends just take all your stuff?

Like I still wake up in the middle of the night. And I'm like, where do the shorts go? Like, fuck. dude yeah there's going to be way if i go to heaven hopefully i'm going to have like three questions number one uh who is lebron's dad uh number two um why did the steelers trade plaquesco burris in his prime three uh great questions for god three three um where did all of my jordan shorts go in high school in early college.

What's the question you're asking God in the comments, right when you get there? Why'd they trade plaques? That's such a great point, man. Like, I could at least like four or five pairs all the top of my head can remember I had them and then just one day never showed up again. But like they're so good too that you didn't let anybody borrow them either.

Just like, where did those go? I can think of one red pair of Jordan. shorts that I was like, I can't believe I have these. I love them. And where could they have gone? I had a pair that was, uh, it was like navy around the waistband and down the shore. And then there was like a white arch on the sides of the shorts and then a smaller, no, there's a red arch and then a smaller white arch inside, you know?

So it was like, blue, red, white. Uh, and then. The Jordan logo was gold. They were like Olympic Jordans. The Jordan logo was gold. Oh. Hard. Adam won the year.

See you never. They either weed friend or like the kid that you didn't trust in the freshman locker room. The upperclassman definitely walked out with those. How about how about when a girl takes your clothes? You're like, you can have them forever. But when your boy takes your clothes, you're like, give that back. See, I don't. I think it's the opposite.

Well, no, it's a very like cut and dry, like line in the sand with a girl because when they want to take it at first, you're like, you can have anything you want. Absolutely. Wear the hat. Take my hoodie. Please, God, wear it all the time. Have a crew neck. Please. Yeah, love it.

Put my hoodie up. Put the girl cut effect on my hoodie. There's nothing hotter than that. Even if it's summertime, take a, take a crew neck. don't care. And then you get it back. It smells like her. No, no.

But then that's where the line of the sand is. It's like, yo, yeah. Okay. Once this is not happening anymore, you're never seeing it again, and you can't ask for it back, even though you want to do nothing but that. Yeah.

You're never getting that back. So it's tough because at the moment, you're like, hey, I know what this action is. And, you know, if you're 16, or 17, you're like, we're not getting married. So I know what this is doing here. I have to judge how much I really like this piece of clothing. I don't know, bro.

I was just letting it all go. Even if it was my top, my top shirt, the stars are aligned. I'm not seeing that again. You didn't have any untouchables? You didn't have any untouchables? Maybe a jersey. So I'm like, come on. Like jersey party.

Let me wear when your jerseys. I'd be like, I need that back. And like, that's not a thing you're going to wear all the time. Because some guys do let those jerseys go. Because you see a girl at a jersey party in college and she has some, she has some heat on. I'm like, that is not yours. Like, that's one of my homies jerseys that, like, you stole.

There's no way you're wearing it. Andre Carolinko right now. Like, come on. AK-47, hardest nickname of our, of all time. All time. I don't even think he knew either. Like, we made that nickname for Andre Caroleco, and he was just like, yeah. Sure.

Yes. Sounds good. I had a few untouchables. I think of untouchables. Yeah, sure. A couple of Steelers' hodies, you know? A couple of the nice-ass ones that, like, you really have Circle for Christmas. Yeah, it's like, stanched, maybe sideline official, kind of wild and out.

You're like, ah, you can have this, like, like, like, you can have this, like, like, like, like hand me down that my dad gave me that's from 1992. You know, it's kind of vintage. It's kind of you. You can cut it up a little. Yeah, you're not taking my NFL equipment joint,

baby, right. Right. Even though I'm in love with you, I like Bill Cower more. That's right. Actually, we're going on a Bill Cowher impression right now.

It's funny. It's funny. You randomly mention him today. Great teeth on Cowher, man. Strongest jawline and chin ever. I saw you doing the face. God, man.

Spit in my face at half time, Bill Kauer. If you can request one thing before you die, I want Bill Kauer to spit in my face at halftime while wearing a Steelers helmet. But just the helmet, not the rest of the uniform, just a helmet. I have like a sleeveless shirt on in the locker room. And he's got that, hey, he's got that 90s,

sideline lightning Steelers, joint, the jagged lightning one, hat on. Heavy jacket on, playing the Browns. Me in the locker room. Right when the spit hits your face, you die. Perfect. Now we're talking. Joey Porter comes in the locker room and does that kick to your face.

Yeah. That third downstop kick. He's got his pads pulled up. abs out, no helmet on. You have his helmet on. He's looking for you. And then he's pissed. Volcanoes.

Because you have his helmet on. He does a trick. He does a trick. He does a church. Dude, no one had a cooler yell than Joey Porter. Do it.

It was like a horse and kind of raspy. He had kind of a raspy joint. Oh, bro. And Joey Porter would yell in the huddle or like he'd be miced up and he'd sack somebody and do the kick and scream some shit and it was like he barely could talk but he would get a little raspy-ass scream out.

Love it. I'm pulling it up actually right now. We won't get copycat for a two-second thing. Oh, yes, we will. No, we won't. Joey Porter 55. Hey, Joey Porter Jets jersey? Ugh.

Joey Porter Jets. Here we go. Here we go. It's just right. Let me go be us. You're going to have to fight. Do you hear that shit? I hear it, yeah.

Send me that link. Hold on. Hold on. Let me find a better one. Just feeling deep thing. The big has indeed. And then the secondary, dude. No.

There's one. There's one. I'm trying to find that was definitely on an America's game where he's just on the sideline and it's just like, I mean, it's just, it pierces my soul thinking about it. Dude, I love how like normal ASMR is like a hot girl doing this to the mic. Clubhouse ASMR is like Joey Porter saying something. Joey Porter is a raspy voice.

Clubhouse ASMR. Clubhouse, what do you want to hear for your ASMR? What question are you asking God? And what's your ASMO? What's the clubhouse ASMR for you? My clubhouse ASMR is the first Under Armour commercial where they're like, click, and I actually thought that guy was Joey Porter for like two years.

I was like, that's Joey Porter. Dude, remember that when Under Armour started coming out with football shit? I was like, dude, this is the cool. I can't even, dude, I used to watch click, clack commercials before like track practice. I was like, this is the hardest thing I've ever seen in my life. the cleats yeah I was like

right in middle school football when I was going down so I never forget that yeah for sure Under Armour did not deliver

by the way crazy crazy times Bill Cowher man love him on CBS can't believe he's on it

doesn't doesn't strike me as a guy that would do the the shows I'm like Like Bill Cowher just wants to go home to his family and like that's it, you know.

You remember the, there was like an eight-year run may still happen, honestly, where people would be like, I don't know, rumors that Bill Cowher could come in and take over for the dolphins. He was always in the coaching circle. It was always like, hey, coach, you know, Bill Cowher may get the itch to come out of the studio and take over. Get the edge. Like nine years. I always love that every single year. Every single year you have that where it's like one of those coaches who's in the studio show or call on games.

He might get the itch, but then somebody's just like, he's got a cush life. He gets on. He talks about football for two hours a week. He gets paid millions of dollars. What does he need to go have the owner in his ear, the GM in his year, and the fan base on his ass. Back to you, Rich. Payton Manning, dude. Come on.

get the edge bro cults colts hc dude peyton hates the colts that's true nobody even remembers him on the colts it's so funny every time they're like peyton manning t bt nfl network it's always broncos i'm like did i dream that he played for the colts what happened broncos 2013 sunday night football just eating taco bell

papa johns every commercial j j j watt and a texans jersey, Peyton and his orange Broncos jersey for Bapa. Bapa John. Bapa John. B. A. P. A. J.O. H. N.S. Bapa Jones.

Just change it. Just change it. We know. We get it. Just change it. Bopa Jones. B.I.J.A. B. I-Z-A. So I played I played N-C-A for the first time. No way. Yeah.

Let's hear it. My brother-in-law's birthday is coming up, and he just, like, my sister said that she said, she asked him what he wanted for his birthday, and he was like, I actually just order myself an Xbox and NCAA as a birthday present for myself. She was like, oh, all right. So I get over there yesterday, and he sets it up, and I play. It was really fun, man. It was, it was, I mean, you know, it was everything is advertised.

The, the end stadium stuff was crazy. I played at LSU. And, yeah, it was just, it's just cool to be back on the, back on the sticks. Shit, what was I about to say with the, oh, but his, I logged, like, I logged on. He turned on the game and his, like, user handle, user handle was 40 beats us. Dude, that's the truest version of you. Whatever your first, like, game system username was for online, that's the most you thing ever.

Mine was Pope Benedict, but it's okay. Pope Benedict's with a zero. The Pope Benedict days, if only Clubhouse knew about the Pope Benedict days. Only you kind of remember that, dude. Bo Benedict was crazy on Twitter Getting away with murder bro I had to delete like

50 million tweets Not only But like that was just your persona Like when you showed up places at that time I was like Pope Benedict No way It all started from PS2 online

Dude Pope Benedict I was like cool Oh, yeah, clubhouse. Pope Benedict, that's those throwbacks we talk about of him, like, replaying the same song at a party for like three hours. Yeah, that was Pope. That was Pope.

Big Pope, love. So Pope of you. Talking about the Brickshaw Ferguson and just random random pop-tops you didn't want to play me online in the Pope Benedict days bro if I was up by three

with two seconds left and I had the ball I would run all the way backwards and get a safety and run the clock out and win by one and the other person on the other line just screaming and I'm like I don't care of it

80 yards backwards I can't believe that you have 80 yards I can't believe that you had online That's crazy It was a big moment for me Dude that was some divorced dad house

Like thing My mom would let me do that But my dad was like Yeah dude Just do it I was like can you buy me like a 50 foot Ethernet cord So I can play football

Ethernet man Why does that just feel like it solves everything Just plug in that Ethernet there. We'll get better at internet from the Ethernet. How confusing is that? I'm still like, why isn't it just called an internet cord? Ethernet? Like, what are we connecting to? I remember some real nerd shit for radio. Like, when you'd be on the road, and you'd have to plug up, you know, set up your own system and your own, like, the whole entire

shebang, right? You were in charge of setting up everything, all the equipment. So you connect back to the station and then be able to broadcast the game you were doing, right? And you're supposed to, I forget exactly, you're always, you're always supposed to try to hook up to the internet first. If they had an internet hookup hookup there, but that was always shady. The wire never reached. The internet always sucked. So immediately I always just plug in that big, thick-ass Ethernet cord because I was like,

this will do the trick. But for some reason, I forget where I went to, you, Indy when I went there, they were like, have that as a last resort. I was like, bitch, that's the first resort. I'm doing that. Easy as possible outcome? Yeah, I'm doing that. Hey,

let's send a 20-year-old kid out and just have them connect to the internet on the device. He has no idea how it works at all. And, oh, yeah, if you guys don't get connected, the station just goes off air for three hours. Mm-hmm. No pressure.

Yeah, and also he knows no people on the opposing team's name either. So let's just. Nobody, nope. Oh, God. Barely knows the mascot, nothing. I love it. Okay.

Okay. You mentioned that last week, we were joking about it. We were joking about it off air, about whether or not Clubhouse knows about this. So I figured might as well just run it back since the, you know, since everybody's already in on my bed for a fat guy. Right, right, right. Might as well just, we'll keep it going here.

We've said it before on this show. I guarantee probably 800 times. Me and BP, when we were first doing espresso stuff, this was like back in 2017. We were dressing up as like these fuck-ass football coaches. Which still are characters to this day. Burns and Rocco. Great, yep.

So I was like the head coach type and Ben was like the high energy defensive assistant. We were setting up shop right outside the combine at the NF, at an indie, downtown indie. And we were just like fucking with people and doing coach stuff. We were getting ready. We were changing into our coach outfits at the radio station that we worked at at the time. That was like our home base. Like we would get there.

We, that was just like our office. Like we had filmed stuff there sometimes. We'd write stuff. We'd edit anything we needed. anything we need to do, we'd do that. So we're in there, we're putting on just like our mustaches and shit and our different coach gear.

And this coworker of ours, who's a real like by the book dude, like would show up. Like if you're supposed to be at the studio like 15 minutes before your shift, he's showing up an hour and 15 minutes before his shift. Like stuff that me and Ben would be like, I will chalk it up to just,

we'll cross it out and then put in a promo. He is like emailing. the who was the person I don't even know the program director emailing whoever he's like people like me and Ben are like ah we'll let it slide it's all good we'll just move on from it this is the kind of guy

so we have all our shit on and all of a sudden he just walks into the studio and we're looking at him and he's looking at us and we each have sunglasses on and a fake mustache and like we're kind of matching because we're dressed up as these coaches and he walks in like because he's like so by the book he walks in an hour early because we're like coast is clear

let's get ready in here then we'll dip but this dude is so like oh yeah i got to be there so early like he he gets there like two hours early so we're like oh shit we have this moment and for whatever reason we just like felt like because he's the kind of dude that would like you know report us we were just like oh yeah what's up man we're just uh heading out to film something that had nothing like and head out to film something there's a little like and head out to film something there's a little bit of a beat and he just looks at us and he's just like

a station know about this and we're like I mean it doesn't have anything to do with the station we're just like getting our we were just like meeting here to then go do this separate thing that is on our own so no we haven't told the station

dude I had to leave I was like I think I had to explain because Ben just walked out I was like I gotta go I'm gonna start laughing I'm gonna look at you while you're trying to, yeah, what you're trying to tell him, like, calm him down. So we don't get, like, arrested at the station. Station, how about this?

Oh, station, not about this? No, dude, it's all good, though. Oh, okay, I just usually don't use it for this kind of problem. All right, guy. Your name's just to be here, yeah, bro. Your shift doesn't start for an hour and a half. Dude, I walked down the hall and looked at the candy vending machine. I was like, what is he saying?

What is he saying to him? that also triggers something in my head I was thinking about over the week so on Saturday I had that show for a license last thing here it was a lot of fun loose hall was awesome and so if there's any clubhouse out there a couple people message me but

I didn't really promote it just because it wasn't my show I was just opening anyways whatever not that I didn't want it to do I just don't know the rules I'm like hey I just show up and just you know how it has been Anyways, down there in like the green room area, and there's vending machines down there. And they actually happen to where you can take your card. And it's not just cash. Thank God.

I didn't get anything. But I went back and my parents, my mom and dad were there and my wife was there. And I started thinking about it. I was like, God, those vending machines, it just reminds me the days when me and Ben would be like the only two people at the radio station at like 2.30 in the morning. And we've been there and we're like editing a video. we're just like drunk off coffee and we just need like we go out to the vending machine at the station

and we'd be like ah we just need a break to get some fresh thinking get a snack or whatever and we'd be looking at it and I'd be like all right I think I'm going to get some checks mix probably some skittles and you just be like you sure about that

is there CF alert going on I'd be like dad I hear the sirens bro Ben would get like maybe like pretzel sticks and like a granola bar and I'm getting trail mix yeah no but I was just saying that

because I just wanted to be like I don't know because there'd be some nights I'd be at a station about this I'd be at the station until like until like 7 a.m. And I'd eat like 30 bags

I'd spend $30 at the vending machine and just buy 30 bags at trail mix. I'd go to all the vending machines in the building we get an email on Monday who the hell is eating all the trail makes I was like restock it

restock it that's what I want that's what I'm asking God how did Plexco Burris strap his mouthpiece to his chin strap and how much money have I spent at bending machines in my life those two things

crazy swag Plexico Burris mouthpiece. Somebody explain it. I hated his cleats with the Giants, though. He wore like offensive linemen Nike cleats. I was like, dude, I know he's tall and big, but like, wear cooler cleats. He must have been a, he must have been a problem because I love Plexigoburis. I don't know why they traded him.

Was he number, he was the number 80 something on the Steelers, right? 80. Big 80. Then 17 on the Giants. Glow up. I don't know. Big, tall receiver and downfield threat. I take 80.

Both work. He was kind of one of the first ones I feel like, though, that got the, like, Plexigal bear of 17. Giants, you're like, huh? And now everybody, you know, and now we're gone full 180 to where for receivers in the 80s, you're like, shouldn't they be 17? It's so much cooler to be, like, a teen number. The first person who did that, Brandon Stokely, I was like, how are you number 14?

He did that somewhere. Denver. I was like, how is he number? What? I was like, does he still think it's preseason? You know when guys had different numbers in the preseason? I thought about this too when like early days, like when dudes would get drafted like in the first top 10, their jersey would say number one. Remember that?

Dude, the first 12 dudes in the NFL draft, I was like, they're all going to be number one. Dude, Edron James for the Colts number one. I was like, that's hard as fuck, dude. I was going crazy. I was like, he's going to be number one. Dude, the, like, I always love this time. We're getting ready to get into it with preseason coming up.

But yeah, you always have the undrafted guys, you know, the dudes who come in who are like, 89th out of 90 on the roster. And in the first and second preseason game, it's like the third quarter. And you randomly have like number 19 quarterback throwing to number three wide receiver. Who's, you know, like Victor Cruz, Victor Cruz was number three. Oh.

His first preseason. And then he made the team and he got number 80. But preseason, he was number three just going off. I love that. Like who the hell is that? Is that a punter? Yeah. Love it so much.

We've had three Plaxo Burris references. Now here's a second America's game reference. And the 2011. What is it? You don't know what America's game is? No. No. Dude, yes, you do.

You've had NFL network play on your TV long enough. Is it just like? It's just, it's the documentary that every Super Bowl winning team gets. Oh. America's game, the story of the 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers. Of course, it's called America's game. As told by, did I say America's team? I'm in America's game.

Game. Yeah, I'm in America's game. America's game, the 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers, as told by Mike Tomlin, Ben Ralthusberger, and Troy Palomalu. Okay, I know what you're talking about. And so those three are like the talking heads that take you through kind of the whole season.

you know yeah um but the 2011 one for the giants they have a because that was like the pop off for victor cruz you remember the salsa and he was like best season ever right yeah it's like 96 yards against the jets on christmas eve never forget um but they had a segment on that about like in a young wide receiver bringing his own salsa to preseason and it was victor cruise wearing number three and Rex Ryan is like, who the fuck is that guy? I remember that. I remember that. I've seen that on TikTok or something.

I was like, dang, I didn't know he was like saucing him up like that. He was going crazy. Rex Ryan's freaking out on the sideline. Then after the game, he's like talking to Kaufflin. He's just like, that number three is a player. You got to keep, yeah, hold on that number three. Yeah, Rex Ryan just always showing his teeth so much. biggest teeth ever

God that mouth bro Dude can eat a whole pineapple in one swallow Real shit Rex Ryan reminds of that SpongeBob scene Where he's like barely Getting the burger or whatever And he's just all I think about Whole mouth that's just getting that tiny bite of the burger

Just pulls the tiniest part of it God Spongebob makes me so hungry every time I watch it. Were you allowed to watch that? Yeah. I mean, my parents are kind of like, but yeah. Were you kind of like too old for it?

That it wasn't past your time? No, I remember I had a really bad ear infection in fifth grade and I was watching SpongeBob. So it was around when I was in fifth grade. So like I was 11 or something, bro. I had an ear infection that I don't know what. I got into, bro.

I'll never forget that. Is it from your football helmet? No, it was some off-season shit. It was so bad I actually didn't go to school. My mom was like, yeah, actually, you need to stay home. How many unsterile ear pads? Dude, it moved down to my jaw. And the only thing...

Oh. Yeah, and I couldn't chew. So the only thing I could eat was chunky soup. but I was like, I love Donovan McNabb and his mom, so that's cool. Yeah. Chunky soup commercials, bro. They wanted the Donovan and Michael Strayhan. They really sold me on this, so I'm good.

How NFC was Chunky Soup? Oh, my God. Just really the East. I was like, are you guys even affiliated with the AFC at all? Like, sorry if there's a Pultz player in the commercial, there's not going to be, but. there's somebody from the Vikings too. I was like, Jesus Christ. Am I allowed to buy chunky soup if I live in Indiana?

Yeah, the stranglehold Donovan McNabb had on that marketing. I think Marshall Falk had a little bit in there. There was a running back. It might have been L.T, but I don't know. Marshall Fault is right. So NFL, dude. Marshall Fault, good. The Navy and sat in gold range.

Marshall Falk probably had the nasal strip on during the commercials too. And the plug mouthpiece before it was cool. Eddie George and Marshall Falk rocking the plug mouthpiece ahead of its time. I was like, you guys are the coolest people. God, I love it. Eddie George, all six, nine of them. God, I'm like, is he the tallest person I've ever seen? What a great god of a running back.

just like 27 literally a creative player no bands like you're on Madden yeah just wrist tape yeah some hospital football shit um

the only player to look cool in 27 ever 27 one of those numbers that's like no thanks you know it's almost 43 man I think Eddie George really just like he made it he he had the opposite effect on like i always looked at 27 is dope because because of eddie george oh really i mean yeah only on eddie george but 27 when

anybody else is 27 i'm like dude who you trying to be eddie george for real dude that gave me the option to have number 27 at marion when i first got there they're like 27 or 15 i was like i can't take 27 because eddie george so 15 and because he wanted to beat tentee So 15, obviously. Yeah. I was like, can I switch to quarterback? Every time I score. You're just, you're just the alter ego of Tim Tebow.

Bizarro Tebow? That's literally you. Wants to be him so bad. It wants to be him so bad that he just does the opposite of how he does everything. Dude, praise gets a trick all the time. hasn't been a church since midnight mass in 2006. Just complete opposite hair. Like I don't have that part hair.

I just have, yep. Everything. But at the same, that's why it works, because you're both like dark hair, you know, chiseled guys, but you're just on the opposite ends of the spectrum. John 316. Mine just say Pope Benedict.

And the O is still zero. Dude, Clubhouse was feeling the Hey Dad segment last week. Let's go. They got that. They got that. There's some pretty good ones on TikTok too.

Hey, Dad. People were enjoying it a lot. I'm going to pull it up here and see what kind of comments. Hey, Dad. Did Dwight Howard grab a quarter off the top of the backboard? Hey dad, did Gerald Green blow off cupcakes during the dunk contest? Of course he has no internet and it's not loading. Of course, that's how it works.

God. Just the red and blue beach ball just spinning back and forth on TikTok comments right now. Literally any other time of the day, I'm like... Oh, that video blew up on TikTok. God dang. Dad, who was Matthew Delvedova? Wait, didn't Matthew Delvedova lock somebody up?

Was it Steph Curry or was that like? Steph Curry for like a game in the 2015 NBA finals, but I think it was just like, I think Steph was just hung over or something. Yeah, white guys, white guys love that way too much. Just a normal, like, the most normal basketball player ever.

from Mike dad who was Travis Fulgum from James dad where was Revis Island oh my God the nickname

of all nicknames from Kyle hey dad tell me about Prime Todd Gurley oh shit never looked like he was trying it's like he doesn't

even care just I was like he just looked like he wasn't ready to play. Like he just like walked out of the locker room. Like it looked like his shit was all unstrapped. Yeah, his shoes on tight and shit. You could see his compression shorts. I was like, is this chin strap even like buckled?

He's just going down the sidelines for 80 yards. I was like he doesn't even care. I love when he would like knife through the middle of the defense for like a 60 yard run. You get like a shotgun handoff and they just put his foot in the ground and just fucking take off. Knife through the defense is the most sports podcast thing ever. But you're right about that.

Not bad for a packet. From G.B. Dad, tell me about AB before the CTE. Yeah. We posted that on TikTok and they got a lot. You can just scroll through there on my page and you get some pretty good chuckles, some hearty chuckles out of that.

The CTE kicked it in on A-B when he had that one haircut that had like the square in the middle of it. I was like, uh-oh. Everybody strap in. It might be in for a ride here. Uh-uh. When the Steelers played the Patriots for the first Monday night game, I think, or maybe it was Sunday night. Do you remember that? I know you remember.

It was opening night, 2015. That was sad. I think they killed. night it was opening night 2016 yeah opening night 2016 they motion

gronk out to the field linebacker on them see you never six you never figured out dude I was like no bro switch cover him they're gonna throw him the ball

night hey good good motion though good motion now sports podcast All right. Team these guys at gmail.com here from the clubhouse this week. What do we got? This is from Mike.

Subject, Brett Farves braces. What? These guys, Joey, I noticed that you sometimes sport saints gear. Being a Midwest guy, I'm curious what led you to who dat nation. My guess would be the Drew Breeze Purdue Connection. Good observation, Mike. Fair. guess on your end, but wrong, actually.

So back in 2020, with the combine coming here every year, the Saints reached out to me. They wanted me to perform for their entire staff. Crazy. When they had dinner at Prime 47 one night, they had a staff dinner there with all their coaches, scouts, front office, owner, media people, all that at Prime 47, one night of the year every year during the combine and they wanted me to perform and so they sent me a visor and a quarter zip a saint's visor and a saint's quarter zip and uh i wore it because they wanted me to do a sean paid an impression but i didn't have a sean patent impression nor do i still so i just wore

the so i just wore the stuff and then instead of doing the impression i just like made fun of him and I ended up working out okay. Thank God. That's wild. I thought it was Alvin Camara's wrist tape, but never mind. Dude, what a trend. This one's for you. Benny, your city bunny, I love you, boy, jingle has been stuck in my head more than any hit song in recent years.

I forgot about that. It actually got me through a rough stomach bug last year. Slat my ass with a warm subway cookie while wearing a beer-stained cheesehead and listening to best of Brett Farf, mic'd up clips. Hey, bunny, I love you, boy. That's crazy. A foot long subway cookie? You could, that's a paddle.

You go to work now. Foot long subway. Two foot long subway cookies on the back of Albin Camara's arms. That's what that is. You're right, man. He was the first to do that shit. and then all of a sudden everybody has that tape down their elbows like that. That was so sick, dude.

Randy Moss was the first to have like the little one. Not the first, but he was the first to like put it on, you know? And then Alvin Camara just went full, full two-tone arms. Part of me is like, guys, just bring the Kevin Falk back,

you know, get those bumpy elbow pads, just somebody. Somebody will, bro. I think it's all coming back. The big pads, big knee pads, cowboy collars, the I'm on green sleeves. Yeah.

From Matt, subject line, Seneca Wallace. Rest in peace. Hey, guys, going back to the last episode about Bachelor parties in your late 30s. Yes, they still happen. I'm 38, just got married, and we did golf and dinner here in Cleveland for those that could make it. Then the next day we went to Pittsburgh with a smaller group. Anyways, I was wondering if back in high school You had any gear for the sports team you played on that had a stupid quote on them

For example, my baseball hoodie said You hang them, we bang them Slap my ass with a towel soaked in Ray Lewis's deer antler spray Oh, that was crazy That was a weird thing It just kind of like went out Just disappeared I think that was the NFL being like

We need them healthy for the Super Bowl So we'll just push that under the rug You know? because I was like, that is insane. But like, good for him, he figured out a way to, like, beat the system, you know? Yep. That sounds about what we were saying for late 30s bachelor party, 30s bachelor party. Some golf, some dinner, probably some booze at both.

Makes sense. Yeah, the quote that we had on. So the running back slash position players on. our high school football team had undershirts that were like dry fit that we'd wear under our pads on game nights and it had they're actually i mean they're hard they actually they had an official like a screen print ref with his arms up and then like inside his arm like not inside but like it started and then fit inside there it said we know how to score oh that and uh nasty. Yeah, it was

dope. I think I still have it somewhere. No way it fits my fat ass now as compared to when I was 18. But yeah, running back's quarterback, wide receivers all had those, all wore them

just on game days. And then of course on spring break, all those dudes brought that shirt and wore it one night. Dude, that's a good shirt. That's like a shirt you They'd have it a movie, you know. It was cool. We felt really good about it.

The running backs always had the cool shit at our high school. And then the defense had like, they were like mantra too, you know what I mean? The defense our year was, it was just said like one fist or something. But like on the back of like every like, every like defensive players like under armor, they had like a screen print just of a fist.

Nice. I just bought it anyway, not even on defense. I was like, dude, how much, bro? What was your running back thing? The running back one,

I don't think we had one, but our running back coach always wore a shirt that said, mm-mm, I smell six, dude, and I was like, that's the hardest shit.

Just on the back of his shirt at practice on a random Wednesday, I smell six. I was like, dude, can that just be our thing? That's dope. Rest and peace,

rest of peace to that coach. I know. I smell six. just 80,000 pins in his pocket and Sharpies. Just the accessory master. I was like, what are you doing, dude? Man, I love that guy. Miss that guy.

He, uh, man, that got me sad now. What's up four? What's up four? Yeah, so this coach that we're talking about me and Ben, he, he like, is a, he was a coach that, like, he was a texting coach, you know? He was the coach that would keep in touch, you know? And so even when you're in college or after college, and you know he still call you by your number so I was number four so I would get text

what's up for we in the town any time soon hope to see you brother six emojis of beers uh he had a couple years ago love um he had that shirt he had that he had that we know how to score shirt we got one for him too yeah dude was on it part of me was like how did they find like the graphics for those I don't know I'm just Like, who's doing that? Who's doing that on a game week? We could go down a hole on that one for sure. From Lou, remember these guys?

Hytenes Malcolm Butler, 49ers, Richard Sherman, Lions, Adrian Peterson, Vikings, Donovan McNabb, Buccaneers, Daryl Revis. Any other washed vets and weird jerseys you guys can think of? Slop my ass with a smash shot of a brand new Yonix Astro X badm

and racket after my doubles partner sets you up with the perfect lob to just lay it on me. I slipped this right after I heard the LLB in comparison made for Kirk Cousins. And as a diehard Vikings fan, I can't let this keep going on. Kirk Cousins is Coles. There's no other right answer. Yep. Good call. Not bad.

Yeah. That one brand that makes like car seats randomly in cars. We talked about it on a podcast a long time ago. There's a weird. I'll think of it. later. Eddie Bauer. That's that's that's that's that's

who is Eddie who's Eddie Bauer? Uh, uh, washed vets and weird jerseys. Yeah, I mean, you can say a few for Randy Moss. Randy Moss is second Viking stint. Randy Moss Titans.

Randy Moss 49ers. Reggie Wayne. Yeah. Hey, Chad Ocho Sinko Patriots. Reggie Wayne Patriots. Terrell Owens Patriots. I was like, can you guys stop going to the Patriots? Terrell Owens' Bills.

That was kind of hard for some reason, though. It was, dude. On some wacky shit, it was kind of hard. Because he was like trying really hard on the bills. And I was like, oh, he's trying? All right, cool, yeah. I thought he was just kind of like, whatever. Edron James Seahawks.

Edron James Cardinals Emmett Smith Cardinals LT Jets He had a couple good years On the Jets Yeah He was on those teams They were trying to create

Like Jason Taylor went to the Jets too They went to a championship game Like two years in a row Hey Jets Eight years too late Hey Jets Ten years to light Adrian Pearson

went to the Redskins and like ripped off a hundred yard run first play of the season I was like okay we were doing that okay

thought you were 42 years old but guess we're doing that Adrian Peterson out of the game just 80 yards no one can catch him he's 46 has eight kids

all right wearing wearing the ring on his finger over his gloves I was like cool this is from Anthony subject line rake

coming from a fellow Horizon League broadcaster at Youngstown State my favorite part of each pod has to be the rake talk I started watching avidly around April remember the first time I heard you say rake and know you guys are from India I thought there's no way that's who it is

and then you started talking about Indy 11 and the Colts Radio Network and I put two and two together and couldn't believe it love the pods see speak in our language, man. Not better, but you, the smoke. Dude, that's another one we should probably explain.

I saw a rake post the other day. He was up at Colts training camp and he's like, about that time to take my annual three-week pilgrimage to Westfield. Hey, guy, could just say up at Colts camp. No, you got to make it rake, dude. Hey, picture of a Jack and Coke. Big ice cube in it. Not bad for a fuck.

Huge ice cube. From Luke. Subject on. Dad, did Brett Kiesel always have that beard? Starts collide. Hey, Joey and Ben, always love the show. I feel like I speak for all the clubhouse when I say, we need just one college football 25 live stream of you guys.

You guys are my two favorite comics and two of my other. their favorite comics. Dan Soder and Shane Gillis did a college football live stream when the game came out and it was great. Thanks man. I appreciate that. I think it would be hilarious to watch you guys. They played against each other but Ben would definitely lose interest too fast so I say you guys to see. Have Joey

run the sticks as head coach and Ben can be there to joke and be the state trooper that runs Coach Mullin Arrow to the middle of the field to shake hands with the other team's coach at the end of the game. And slap my ass while singing Girls don't like boys girls like Dan

Marino yeah boys are still obsessed because of how he throws boys don't like girls

boys like Kenny Vicaro Dude Girls don't like girls like Baccarri Rambo Girls Girls don't like

Boys like Girls like Drew Bloodso That's What was that one in Sydney that song, the quarterback one? Oh, oh, shoot, shoot. Oh, my God. What was this? Oh, where have all the QB names gone?

Instead of where have all the Cowboys gone? What have all the Cubies gone? Two lights off, John Kid, Do you? That song is good, though. That was a really good email. Luke. I don't know if you've emailed it before. That would be a really fun idea. My brother-in-law does have a system. He just ordered a second controller. So next time Ben, you come in town, I know someone we can make it how that happened. I'm so ready for that. I think I might be back next month. As in August? Yeah. Yep. Cool. from Nathan

Hudge Rodriguez hashtag not a sports podcast obviously what's up guys love the pod look forward to it every week thanks dude I was a former catcher and I had to interject after talking about the catcher's mask

and turning your back to the field perfect one of the main reasons of turning your back to the field is because when the ball is hit in the air it has crazy backspins so the ball actually goes back towards the field it's easier to catch when your back has turned anyway speaking

of baseball. Are there any baseball jerseys that you love or would wear on a normal basis? Pudge was my favorite, but you can never go wrong with a Navy Seattle Mariners, Ken Griffey Jr. 24. Anyway, sorry for email and sorry that summer is over. Slop my ass with a 37-inch wooden bat while eating a ballpark park frank and drinking a cold beer while wearing a Mark McGuire Cardinals jersey. Hell yeah, dude. I told you it was some with physics. I knew that somebody would email in, so I appreciate you getting that. Yeah, you're right. Okay. Got that. I've thought about that about seven. times since maybe maybe like 17

like I'll just be like damn what was he talking about like but I like get it but I'm like what is he talking about but I was like I respect it but I was like I just don't what is he talking about bro stupid

you start with baseball jerseys this one's kind of played but I've just always one this is maybe the only name on back jersey that I would want uh randy johnson diamond backs vest no just the normal one a black one would go hard that's it's just i think i think too many people have it i think that jersey is like equivalent to the vancouver grisly shorts it's like yeah you know i won them but like everybody just has them man um another one i like the

a lot is just gray Atlanta Braves but it's just because Andre 3000 I was going to say white Atlanta Braves just there's something about that that seems that seems so like deluxe yeah like the axe under the

it's just the way they they did it right that logo is top tier yeah Andre 300000 just wears that and the players ball music video and he's riding around on his car and it's just so cool. And yeah, it's like, I love gray. I'm like, I can wear this with like jeans or with a flannel.

Not a flannel, a thermal shirt underneath it. Like if it's a wintertime, always love that one. I mean, obviously I'm Mullenard and I love the Cubs. So I think the Cubs have a great jersey, whether it's the home pinstripe, the gray away or the blue alternate. I think all three of those play. Ray away. Right?

It's subtle. You know, it's not too much out there. Like it goes with a lot. You can wear jeans, khakis, black jeans. I feel like it's kind of under the radar too. Right. Exactly. I totally agree.

Andre 300,000, RG3. Same guy. Now, now we're talking. That one is way better than the Beastie Boys Beach Boys. Same thing. That one, that was from a clubhouse member. He, uh, he tweeted that me. His name's Kenny Cruz.

Kenny, that guy. I love, I love him. He's the best. He's the best. Uh, from Ronald, it says Brian Cushing's triceps. These guys, how we doing? Just taking her easy over here. I'll just jump right into it.

How would you each rate yourselves as a roommate or someone to live with? on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being the best, you're always taking out the trash, cleaning up, not letting dishes soak in the sink, being courteous of the other person, just being all around solid

and knowing how to live? Then how would your roommate slash person you live with rate you on the same scale? Thanks, guys. Hope you have a righteous week. Slep my ass after I rumbled into the end zone for a TD on the old fumble rusky. Nice, classic.

Never see it coming. See? This is an interesting question, Ronald, because I'm split into two separate guys. Free married Joey and post-married Joey. And I would rate myself differently on each of this two. You want married Joey? I put myself at probably like an eight. I'm constantly picking stuff up.

I like organization. I like for my tabletops, my island to be cleaned off. I cannot stand dishes in the sink. Good for you. That's married Joey, dad, Joey. So I probably about an eight. Pre-married Joey? We're probably cutting that.

We're probably going like a four. Yeah. I think I'm a mix between the both of them. Like, I'm a good roommate in the sense that, like, I won't bother you at all. You might not even see me for like two weeks. But, yeah. So that's good.

and I'll like, I won't like, but, like, bug you and stuff like that. But also, like, I go with the vibe of the house. So if we have, like, kind of a messy kitchen, I'm not going to be like, hey, clean your dishes. I'll just be like, you know, like, it might be a little, like, we can keep it like organized chaos in there a little bit. Like, it's fine. We got stuff to do, you know what I mean? But at the same time, am I proud of that? Not really.

Not really. If my mom comes over, I'm like, yo, we got to get this shit together. You know what I mean? Yep, that's fair. That's fair. Yeah, you would be a really, really good roommate because, like, you honestly are like a cat.

You sit like a cat, but also, like, it could be like eight days, and you don't know where you are. I haven't seen you. Are we still even roommates? I don't know. But then you just pop up and you're like, oh, hey.

Hey, good to speak. I like that. I like that. Yeah. That's fair. Interesting question, Ronald. That's a good question. Cool. Well, yeah, Ben is still on the road. We got some exciting, potentially interesting, exciting things cooking for TG, for Clubhouse. So stay tuned to that. Yeah, we just keep trudging on, man.

summer's over football's here kids are going back to school we're getting back into the routine i was putting up the august calendar on the fridge today i was like oh shit we got all these birthdays we got back to school shit it's all going down man so uh so i had to have clubhouse here how how back how back to school is august 12 is that the most always 12th always 12 through the 17th literally back to school week hey when you have to go back to school and it's a Thursday, you're like, hey, we're not going to get homework the first day. We're not going to get homework the first day.

Like guaranteed stone cold. If they did, not doing it. Not doing it. And then Friday, if we get homework, like, dude. But how bad is that Monday? You're like, yeah, we're going to get like slammed. Going back to school on Thursday, though, I'm like, kind of a party. We have pictures.

We got screaming. We got a scrimmage the Friday night. Yeah. Yeah, dude. That's right. Get that elastic going. Roll those bitches up. Cool. Team these guys at GMO.com. Love hearing from you. Send it to five friends on YouTube. Watch us every week. Subscribe to their. These guys' clubhouse, I think, is what it's technically right now. But if you just look up these guys, Pulitzer Molinaro on YouTube, find us. Send the link, subscribe, like, leave a comment on the question we had this week. What are you asking God? And then what's your clubhouse, ASMR? Also, if you want to tweet, who's the same guy?

We can get options. RG3, Andre 3000, same guy? Kirk Herb Street, Joel Clatt? Same guy. Same guy on these guys. Willis McGahey, Clint Portis, same guy? We don't know. Yeah.

We don't know. That's been, like, weirdly buried in my head since I was like eight years old. I'm like, I think. I think the same guy went to Miami for seven years. and back to back I'm like too close and then had separate NFL careers as the same guy

and they both hurt their knee come on come on dude come on bro all right good shit I'll talk to you next week Casey Hampton

Kyle to early Kyle Turley