THESE GUYS! - station know about this?

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

This week the burpy boys talk about getting a signed anything from a "not that impressive" guy🍻 THESE GUYS! TOUR COMING SOON💕 WATCH BENNY on LOVERS and LIARS (on CW APP)🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 Raleigh - Aug 22 https://www.goodnightscomedy.com/shows/254522Buffalo - Sept 19 https://buffalo.heliumcomedy.com/shows/254521Austin - Oct 10 https://www.capcitycomedy.com/shows/254523San Diego - Nov 7 https://www.micdropcomedy.com/shows/264571Phoenix - Dec 5 https://www.micdropmania.com/shows/264572🔺𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/products/these-guys-hoodie-1?

It's like that theory that like, you know, eventually humans are going to evolve to where like our thumbs are like this because we're holding our phone like this so much. Yeah. Yep. I'm okay. I mean, that's probably like, that's probably like, you know, that takes a long time. So we'll be long gone. When kids draw Thanksgiving turkeys is just this. No, put your thumb out.

It won't go. Not bad for a fat guy TG 96 96 Ziggy Hood What's up Guy with way too many drinks At all times

I always gotta have four drinks Guy with way too many wires Everywhere Guy with too many drinks Guy with too many wires Has everything possible Known to man down in his basement To record these guys

Put the drinks and wires together please We'll extricute me these guys what's up johnson um nothing bro i got some notes for this week should we just should we just go should we just get right into it oh yeah well first uh you you've inspired me to start wearing jerseys more on the show

um so back to back weeks cubbies got my my my dansie swanson blue on for the youtube crew out there subscribe to these guys clubhouse on youtube so you can see us in our on our fucky jerseys every week yeah I'm trying to do it yeah that would be a dream to have a different jersey on for every single podcast it just it just hits different

look how look how fun we are we are very fun and we're color kind of coordinated they're fun but they have glasses and headphones on they're kind of like nerdy what the hell this is why I don't listen to this podcast they're like nerd they're like sports nerds it's like what they are

they say it's not a sports podcast, but it totally is. It's all they fucking talk about. It's so fucking dumb. They've talked about coffee like ones and candles like ones. And then they just talk about the Buffalo Bills. It's like nerdy. It's just their, well, first, first, why don't you push tickeys? Quit push tickeys, please, please, please, please. Raleigh coming up. August 22nd, Buffalo, September 22nd. That's wrong. It's actually September 19th. um, Austin, October 10th, San Diego, November 7th, Phoenix, December 5th, and, uh, booking more shows.

So get your tickies, Benedictpolizzi.com or sexpolice.com because I don't know anything about the internet. And you can go to either and buy your tickets. And I'll see you there. Where are your jerseys to the show? Where are whatever you want to the show? I'm really excited for you to go to Buffalo. What a really great time. I can't wait, dude. Zubaz pants. all I want to go for. Is it a helium there at Buffalo you're doing? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Good spot. Fun little area downtown Buffalo. Yeah. Fun, fun spot, fun crowd. Can't wait. Yeah,

it seems wild. Can't wait. Can't wait to just list off NFL players on stage for two and a half hours. Mm-hmm. It's all I learned. I hope that people wear the, guy,

the red helmets please the Lord God I don't know the flutty joints the Torell Owens what are we doing white's nice though like what they have

right now like you can't really complain definitely works it's fine it's good but everybody you know the the Broncos are going back to their orange crush unies the buccaneers are

going back to the cream sickles as annoying as they are like you know Eagles wear the Kelly Green all the time now. So good. Like bills. Get the red lid. Get the red bucket back, dude.

Get the red lid back on and the, um, the Steve Tasker days, man. Come on. Who is that, dude. Oh, you know Steve Tasker. The taskmaster? The taskmaster, dude. Yeah. Every, all of our dads love Steve Tasker.

They all wanted to be Steve Tasker. The Eric Molds joints. Yeah. Both. Hey, who is the running back for the Bills? Travis Henry joints. Jim Kelly? During the Jim Kelly era?

Something like that. I don't know. Yeah. I think it was Flutty Nation then. Not that this is a sports podcast or a Bills podcast. Now it was Thurman Thomas. That seems so old. The name Thurman, bro.

That's like 80s. it's Travis it's got to be Travis Henry bro Willis McGahey he slipped in there okay okay no he was the first of the nasty era bills the bill the peerless price the Terrell Owens era bills

yeah still had a guy who wore peerless price jersey to my Buffalo show love you hopefully do the same for Ben those are kind of hard though like I saw a picture of those bills jerseys the other day? A picture. I was watching a like a, I was watching something

on YouTube and, but I was like those, for some reason that red on the shoulders kind of goes crazy. Like, whoa. No, they're so gross. Hey, if we played Madden right now,

I'd be the bills and I'd be those uniforms every single time just because like, I don't even think they offer those anymore. Are you talking about like the current Madden? Offer. The current Madden, the current Madden's like, nah, you can get the Jim Kelly

Thermat Thomas joints. You can go, with what they have right now, but the peerless price Thorell Owens, nah, Wilson McGaie. I would love to unlock those. All jerseys, all time on every video game. Ooh. I had somebody asked me last week or a couple weeks ago, maybe I did a little Friday Q&A

and on Instagram and somebody was like, how badly do the Steelers need to bring back the yellow helmet throwbacks? Saw that. Definitely saw that. I, 100%. everybody's gone. You can have more than one color helmet now. Everybody's doing it. Let's go back. Yellow would be sick. I know you hate white helmets, but Steelers white helmet would go crazy. It would just be so counter to what we are. Yeah. Whatever, though. You know, do it.

A Steelers white helmet, it would be like cool to have down in a man cave, you know, like on the corner of the desk somewhere, like on a coffee table. People are like, what the hell is there a phone in that? You're like, yeah, it's my white steel. They only made 130 of these. 133 of these. It's in a glass box. Your friends come over. Don't touch that. Why not?

Well, I mean, it's a white Steelers helmet. And if you look at the other side, Cordell Stewart signed it. Hey, it's kind of hollowed out. Like I said, so the phone is like in the helmet. Dude, I know those helmets. I was just, how, hey, every phone in your house. just a different team helmet Arizona Cardinals one next to your bed

Hello dude do you know like Kirk Herb Street only has college football helmet phones in his house just like Ohio State Notre Dame But every time you pick up the phone you have to answer as the player on the team

This is Brady Quinn How can I help you? No but it has to be be like a clubhouse member like a clubhouse player you know like when you answer the phone for tectus it can't be like hey this is colt mccoy this guy back now this is jordan shippley for sure jamaul charles may i ask who's speaking georgia georgia obviously brian obviously brian coaching taylor mays how can i help you uh sua cravens what can i do for you I could just do this for the rest of time.

I know. Signed white Steelers helmet. How about when you have a signed, anything signed, and it's like signed by like not that of an impressive guy? You know, like your friend's dad is something, and you're like, Marcus Pollard signed that cold, that Colts helmet.

Yeah. I mean, he's sick, but like, dude. Peyton Manning? Jerome. Jerome Python framed signed ticket. Python if his last name was Python. That would be the sick as shit. Paython, right?

I thought it's Python. No, Python. Dude, that would be top last names. Paython. Jerome Paython. Hey,athon. Right? Am I tripping?

I don't know. It's Python. Yeah, you're right, though. I always felt like, this always happened to me, like, when I was a kid. you know because like my parents would do their best and they did a great job to like take me to something you know like sports related but like we didn't have any like inside access or like we weren't those people who would get there like five hours before practice to line up on the fence to get an autograph so like yeah maybe I would get wide receiver number five you know on the depth

chart and it's like oh man cool but yeah I know what you're saying you're like uh dude who did you get what autograph did you get? Aaron Moorehead. He was back for the Colts on Madden one year. I was like, hell yeah, dude. Morehead. You got something,

dude, you got that, you got that rally towel signed? Who's it by? Ben Utec? Oh my God, whose gloves are those? Who signed those gloves?

Melvin Bullet. No way. Colts mini football, dude, you got that sign? Who is it? Jacob Lacey. What?

Rally towel, dude, Rally towel. It killed me. Who signed up? Everybody has them. Everybody has them. Everybody tries to be the Steelers.

Everybody tries to do it. They come to town. Everybody's got their rally towels laying over the seat. My ass. My ass. No, sports podcast. No, sports podcast. Dude, I went to,

I went to the state fair last week. Shut up. Yeah. Would you eat? What'd you eat? Would you eat? What do you eat? What do you eat?

eat. How do you eat? Hey, the question of the state fair isn't what did you eat? The question is, what did you not eat? I like it. Everything. I had a little bit of everything. Had a spicy pickle pizza.

So it was like spicy pickle slices with like some taheen over the pizza. And I had some, I had some bignet, dude, some bignets. Those were unbelievable. So soft. I had a pickled flavor draft beer. Everything's pickle. It was a theme this year. Okay, pickles.

Hey. Jesus Christ, who's the marketing team behind pickles? Put them in everything. Pickle shampoo. Yeah, the beer was terrible. Absolutely horrible. Do you take it all down? throw it away. No, I couldn't. I had to be done. One of these. In fact, in fact, it was so bad, Ben,

that I had to go get a different beer to refresh the palate. Beer. Because it was so bad. Like, it tasted like the saltiest pickle juice of all time. I used to be on that grind. It was just I can drink pickle juice but this is like this is like pickle juice on steroids this is like this is Brian Cushing USC pickle juice oh it was just way too

dense it was pungent and I was just I got one for me and I both and we just couldn't yeah yeah at least you tried it though you know some lemon shakeups

some ice cream some like God they call it like Godfather egg roll they had impanadas there. I mean, it was like a walking taco and an impanata. I mean, it was everywhere. It was crazy.

Luckily, I walked like five miles. So it was like, you know, I felt not too bad because like I was eating a bunch of shit. But I was just like sweating, hot, walking still getting the steps in. Got to pee every 19 seconds. Yeah. Then, you see, this is my thing with the fair, right? I used to not be about it because it's like it was such a date spot in high school and college. if you didn't have the right girl to go with,

you didn't want to go because it was a mix of all sorts of things. It was a mix of being with somebody that you didn't want to be with. It was a mix of spending a bunch of money that you didn't have. And it always ended up just being too uncomfortably hot, right? It was just a trifecta of shit. But now at the state that I am in my life, I take the kids, Frank loves to see all the horses and all the animals and ride the rides. Big kids, fun with him.

You know, the wife enjoys it. and if you catch it at the right time, like if you go early enough, you miss the heat, but inevitably, you always end up being at the state fair. It's like the zoo. You always end up being at these places

when it is the most hot, sunshiny, bright as possible. Every time. I can't see over there. I can't, what are you looking, what are you pointing at every time? Getting a headache from squinting so much.

Like, oh, God, it's so humid. How come I'm so against wearing sunglasses, too? Like, I just can't do it. Dude, same. I'm like, who do I think I am? Yeah. Come on, bro.

What do you think about transition lenses? What do you think about those? Just, I mean, tell me you've never had sex before without telling me. Little, uh, a little serial killy. I mean, just, just never had sex. Like not to be a guy who always has sex, but like, come on, dude. Walks inside on a summer day still has, they haven't transitioned yet. Hey, why don't you cool those glasses down there, but babe.

You catch it at the weirdest time, too, when it's like, they're not sunglasses, but they're not regular glasses, you know, they're just in the transition. Dude, how am I supposed to know you're... What am I looking at here? How am I supposed to know you're the coolest guy in the world? if you don't have transition lenses in your glasses. The amount of people in my family who have hitched that to me. I don't know if it's just like they hate me and they want me to, you know, get bullied.

Those are not the answer. Because because I can't wear contacts. I'm tried. It just doesn't work for me, right? So then I can never wear sunglasses because I take my glasses off where the fuck I'm going to put my glasses. Then also can't see. Right. So the amount of people, I've had at least four people in my family.

I mean transition Transition lenses Like guys Is it 96? I know socially You know I'm 30 I've got two kids

I'm married I know socially my life is pretty much over But like you don't have to put me in the grave yet Transition lenses bro You should get LASIC Yeah I thought about it just sounds so scary I think about it every single day

I know. I don't think it's anything. I think it was like that in the 90s, but now it's like whatever. Normal procedure. Fucking Death Star shooting into your eye. You mess higher when ready. So crazy. The things we have to do to literally just see. You tell me I got to pay $570 just to see.

I have to pay $570 to buy contacts to see. today to see like shouldn't this be free the yeah it's funny is that you know like everybody in our parents and grandparents everybody in the history of mankind until our generation

I feel like you know could see far or could see far away but they can't see up close you know that's why I call them readers because you have to put the readers on to read the book or the paper or whatever and we're all the exact opposite I could be without glasses

if everything was this close to my face. Oh my God. Yeah, what's going on with that? I could be without, I can be without glasses perfectly fine. You asked me to look a room across without my glasses on. Can't see shit. Can't see shit. I'm like, dude. It's because we're like this all the time.

Oh, is that actually true? Yeah. I love taking my glasses off at night and looking at my phone. I'm like, fuck yeah. I can see. it's like that theory that like you know eventually humans are going to evolve to where like our thumbs are like this

because we're holding our phone like this so much yeah yep I'm okay I mean that's probably like that's probably like you know that takes a long time so we'll be long gone when kids draw Thanksgiving turkeys

it's just this no put your thumb out it won't go I have phone thumb He won't go I don't think they'll call it phone It's phone thumb At that time

I thumb That's what it is Eye thumb Oh Not bad Uh uh He's got early onset phone thumb Sometimes I think about that bro

Your son He can't catch any passes He's got phone thumb Right Football will go away because everybody's going to have fom thumb thumb what a sad day that'll be phonetham it's just one word does he have fom fontth fontum he's got some fomthum on you say a little fomthum yeah you said you had some notes what we got there we got there jones it's just random shit that i think of during the week and i'm like

oh that's so clubhouse um yeah like what who are okay i'll try not to do sports things because this isn't a sports podcast i don't know why we would ever do that. This came up and I do a live stream every week and it's just a bunch of clubhouse members. You only eat puppy chow after Christmas. Okay. So you're saying that's like don't wear white after Labor Day? It's just like it don't don't eat puppy chow until after Christmas.

I can't remember eating puppy chow on like the 24th ever. It's only like a leading up to New Year. Hmm. I know. I thought so too. I was like, I'm only eating it after. I get one of those circle. I've child.

I've child pre-Christmas. Really? Yeah. That's not a pre. Like, that's, that's Taylor made on Christmas Eve. There's a little, little bold treat yourself a puppy child over there. I think I'm only eating it after.

Like maybe, maybe it's served before, but I'm like, this is a 20. sixth activity and is it I don't really think I don't really think Puppy Chow I mean one handful

I'm pretty good really I could go all day with puppy Chow I know but it's just I've done it I've eaten a whole entire thing but like I don't know

it's not doing much I think I'm more of a Checks mix guy I'm such a powdered sugar bitch oh man you're so right about that Puppy chow

The bignets I had at the fair Had powdered sugar all over them I looked like that I looked like the cookie monster After he snorted lines of cocaine bro The Wait when brownies have powdered sugar On top of them

Yeah I'm like why is this better in icing Wait wait wait Why is this better in icing right now Dude when brownie When a whole platter of brownies Has powdered sugar all over the whole top of them They've been on touch Just fucking pick it up

and just absolutely smack my ass with the whole entire tray and then throw it in my face. And pull the next tray out of the oven, put it on a love seat and let me sit on it. Put it on the best love seat in your house, the one in the corner, with the remote on the armrest, so I can watch Fox NFL Sunday.

I'm taking off my pants and I'm sitting on the brownies. And I turn the power on the TV. and I don't, dun-d-na-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- and I just stare at Terry Bradshaw for the next four hours like this. Complete silence. I'm more Howie long. I love TB.

Don't get me wrong. I could listen to Terry for four hours, but Howie, you got to, I mean, come on, that haircut, that jaw line. Right. The glasses. I'm like, geez, guy gets hotter. guy gets hotter every year dude I think of clubhouse subject lines like all day

howie longs flat top and then just the email Keith Bullock's arm sleeves money that could be that could be an Instagram post I think just maybe I'll just post it myself but go back through and just cut

45 seconds worth of me reading the subject lines hey wait you host a podcast What is it about? Here you go. 45 seconds and it's just all of those. Brett Farr's chin strap. Alvin Camara's turf tape.

Keith Bullock's arm sleeves. Or if we really want people to know what the show is about, read the PS slap my ass lines that people give us. Make me fly. Never forget that. All right. Here's another note I have. Here's another note.

Hold on. Hold on. You mentioned love seat. Hold on. Hold on. Before you move on to the next one, you mentioned love seat. Yeah, I can't wait. Can't wait.

Where do you, what, where do you, what, what's like, who is that seat designated for? Who's sitting on the love seat? You know, if it's Christmas Eve, who's sitting there? Your mom. Really? Yeah. Your mom's sitting there. Your mom's sitting there.

But the night before you're sitting there and you're watching Hawaii play in some unnamed bowl game. Uh-huh. and your feet are across the arm right you're sitting sideways on it blanket i don't know why blanket's not unfolded it's still folded and on your lap you haven't committed to the full blanket yet because then you're going to fall asleep so you have it still folded up like on top of you and your legs are over their arm right every time i sit in a love seat i've seen it so good also you don't want to commit you don't want to commit you don't want to

to commit to the sleeping because it's like two nights before Christmas and like maybe there's a chance that people are getting together to get drunk at somebody's open house. You're like, you're like, I'm getting comfy because I know I'm probably in for the night, but there's still a chance. Maybe I get that phone call or that text. Yeah. Got to stay up until 3 a.m. just in case. What I always see in my head in a situation like that, the love seat to me is always designated for like your grandpa and then like your sister's new boyfriend and they just happen to end up on the same love seat so it's like really uncomfortable kind of you know

and you can feel the tension a little bit I didn't know it's always like a mix of there's some weird combination there that shouldn't be sitting on the love seat together and you're like how did that come to be yeah your grandpa always has his chair you know Oh yeah That's grandpa's chair I dated I dated a girl

That her dad It was like Like hardcore It was like a real like His chair And like don't touch the remote Kind of thing Bro

I gotta go I gotta go I would not be able To look that girl in the eye Your dad's that guy Yeah All right Next one

Next bullet point Tim Tebow Tyler Hansbrough Same guy I love this podcast, dude. Argument could be made based on their college careers on the respective court and field. How good.

How good? We're on first take. Hey. How good was Tyler Hansbrough in college, dude? This isn't a sports podcast. It was so annoying. I know. It was so annoying because it was like, why?

Tyler Hansberg. Why are you good? Every time the camera goes to Tyler Handsbrough. Oh. dude, that nasty mid-range jumper that just made you want to puke. 50. He was the pool, he was the pool, uh, he was the pool basketball bully baller, but in real life.

This guy? Yeah. I'd have to, I'd have to give the nod to Tebow, um, because, because of longevity in terms of like, he's still like a public person that people talk about and is like on TV and is doing like, fucking America's American Great American Makeover

but then also like that's today or good morning America but then also like SEC college football pregame you know like he's still like a celebrity

that's lived on Tyler Hansbrow is he just like farming in Iowa? I mean what's he doing he's eating chili somewhere right now he's eating chili right now

you can just tell bro hey absolutely insane that both him and his brother played for the Pacers at the same time. Anyways. Oh, that's in, wait, what?

Oh my God. Wait, he has a brother? Yeah, Ben Hensbrough. Psycho B. Okay, one more thing that's not about sports. What's the top football college college football rivalry that isn't actually a rivalry?

Then we'll stop talking about sports for the rest of time. Promise. promise ladies. Okay, so define this a little bit more. Like the game that like... No, like the game that you're like, dude, this is such a sick game every year. They don't,

but they don't play for like a trophy, you know what I mean? It's not like the Michigan, Ohio State, but it's like, oh, dude, like why is it, why are, why when these teams play, is it like a little, something's going on?

I don't know. Maybe it's a dumb question, but I was just thinking about it. Dude, whenever, whenever, Whenever Ohio State in Texas had that little like home and home Ooh That was like groundbreaking

That was just a two years thing I remember I think so I remember where I was When that like When Dudes remembering where they were It's so funny

Dude when Vince Young tossed that fucking corner ball To Lime's Sweet I think in the horseshoot to win in their national championship year. Never forget. And then I remember I was at Stacey Clintony's basement for a party

when Texas hosted Ohio State the next year. Oh my God. Oh, that's so sick that game was on. Dude, it was on in the basement. And I was just like, dude, what do we do? Are you guys seeing this? Do you know what's happening right now? Ohio State is playing at Texas in an actual not NCAA game.

on PS2. That's insane. Yeah, when they started doing that, you're like, how are they playing each other right now? And then Ohio State and USC had the same thing? I don't remember that.

But I believe you. So those are, what, do you have any? For some reason, I feel like when Penn State plays like West Virginia, it's like, is that a rivalry game?

I feel like they hate each other. And I'm like, I like that you guys hit. Pitt in West Virginia. Burby Boy Times, too. Pit in West Virginia. There you go. I think there's one in the backyard brawl, dude. Okay, I like that, yeah.

Yeah, that's kind of what I mean. Yeah, that's what I was just thinking of. Because I saw like a, I don't know what was going on, but I saw an NFL game and I was like, those two teams are like rivals and nobody really talks about it. It was Steelers Titans. I'm like, dude, that's a rivalry in the NFL for some reason. maybe I mean it probably is I'm just like I just haven't paid attention to the NFL

in a long time but I'm like every time the Steelers and Titans play I'm like dude this is like this is like Patriots Colts yeah there's something there dude Patriots Colts definitely more way more way more than that but I know what you I know what you I know what you mean I know I know it's not like Steelers bangles or Steelers Browns or Steelers but I'm just like dude the Titans are just they hate each other. They just hate each other. You know, it's low-key, actually, like a real actual rivalry

between the Steelers and the same team in that division. The Steelers and the Jags. Oh, oh, dude, when the Steelers and Jaguars play, bro, that is the sickest. I love that. Yeah. I mean, not that this is a sports podcast,

or I'm excited about that or anything, but... No love lost there, dude. Those teams do not like each other. That's the best. Really fucking annoying. But what are you going to do? All right.

What else do you have? Could be it. I have a bullet point that just says Keith Bullock. And then I have, who are you in the NFL? And then I just have in all caps, walk on, brothers and sisters, walk on, walk on. And then I have Avril Levine Skater Boy is shot in a champs at the mall and there's so many jerseys in the background.

Check that out. Is it really? For some reason, it might be a foot lock or a foot action. I don't know what was going on at that time, but they're in a mall for, he was a skater boy. And I saw the red Eddie George Titans jersey in the background and I was like, oh, wow. He wasn't gone enough for her.

And now me. It's a lamb on his guitar. Yeah, that'll make you cry. What was the one that you said? Who were you in the NFL? Who were you in the NFL? Yeah, what? So, like, comparable in terms of look in terms of...

Maybe just who do you want to be? God, we're fucking 13 years old, dude. Mark Sanchez. 13 year old, 13 years old to sleep over in a basement. Who would you want to be? Boy, tough to not say Travis Kelsey right now. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Hall of Fame career, $100 million podcast that's about to be sold.

Probably going to marry Taylor Swift. Like, just has a buzz cut. You can pretty much do whatever you want, guy. Pretty much do whatever you want. Sick is. I wish I could have gone to Cincinnati. That would make a lot of sense. God, I love Cincinnati.

That would have made a lot. Love Cincinnati. Jordan, red, black, white. Get out of here. God, it's so sick. Then they went to Adidas. I was like, what are you doing? Never fails.

Why is that always the follow-up? Why is that the rebound that people go to? Adidas ruined so many, so many schools. And I mean that Michigan, when they were, I was like, dude. Yeah, you stopped being a Michigan You were pretty anti-Wilverine I stopped watching football

I was like I cannot This is disgusting dude Just ruining everything Notre Dame is Adidas And that's pretty much it Like that's it Dude now Notre Dame has been with Under Armour I feel like longer than they were with Adidas

But they're still Adidas deep down Yeah you're right But they're still Adidas Under Armour single handedly ruining Notre Dame football for the past 10 years. I like, yeah, I liked, I liked Indy Adidas way more than Indy Under Armour. The gold pants,

matching the helmet? Duh. Mm-hmm. Anyways. Shit, what I was I to say? Something about Adidas? I don't know. We got a lot from, we got a lot from the clubhouse, so.

Talk. Team these guys at gmail.com.com.com. did you see you didn't you didn't get to catch our guy on the Colts call did you oh no I didn't not bet for a fat guy

it was a great watch I had somebody I put that on my Instagram story and a dude responded station know about this I just go perfect perfect

station now every time something happens Station now about this? From D.D. Drop your pen. Station now about this. Hey, station out about that.

Pops up while you're pissing in the urinal. Station about this? Bro, his head, he just slides out from underneath the... Station now about this? Fuck. Every single thing. Even when you're not like at the station. I'll take extra cheese on my eggs.

Stations, know about this? God damn it. Stations know about this? That is so, can that please be in a movie? God, why are we not writing a movie?

Station now? I know. You know, but does the station now, you know, but does the station now? Dude, there's another one. Hold on,

I know you're trying to get to the question. I'm sorry, but there's another thing we quote and someone said it on, like commented it. I forget where it was, but it's there's another little thing out there that we say during the podcast and it's a thing and we don't know it's a thing yet but clubhouse is catching on dang it i know i'll never think of it

but i'll i'll text you it go ahead sorry okay good morning to you in the clubhouse thanks for always taking questions from us it's a really cool part of the show and you guys make it more fun and engaging by doing this boom if you could be both be a substitute teacher for a week in a classroom what subject would you choose and how do you think the classes would go? You choose the grade level on subject excluding PE weightlifting or anything like that. Thanks guys. Slop my ass with a gross little cafeteria, burrito, and let the food fight begin. Well, thank you, Dedy.

And funny story that you may not know. I take it you don't. Me and Ben actually both did substitute to eat. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my God. talk about the like the most nervous i've ever been in my life yeah so this was back when me and ben had just started doing like espresso videos together and everything we're working all these weird hours of the radio at the station and we were just doing whatever we could so like subbing like

during the day you're there for you know it's like a fine little paycheck then go afterwards go to the radio station or whatever. And so, yeah, Ben was up at Cathedral. I was at Ron Colley. And we did that. We lived that life. Just getting there at noon. Substitute teaching all day and then coaching JV football practice after.

Just it should be my life. It should still be my life. I'm convinced. It was so nervous the first day I substitute taught that I left my car running the whole entire time. just got out to my car at 3 p.m. it was still on. I was like,

just three straight hours, my alternator. Probably got a ticket, too. Who knows? Yeah, mine would be history, though. That's an easy one. Oh, yeah.

You just pop on, like, men who built America on a history channel or something. You just put your feet up, you know, make sure a kid doesn't fall asleep or something if he does.

who cares, whatever. History is a pretty good one. I'd be down to teach like an art class. I think I could, I could rock with an art class, you know? That's not bad. Yeah.

Artistic. Probably have to be like a pretty low level one, but I think I could get down with that. A little, maybe a computer class. That'd be cool with that. Typing class. It's always nice and cold in the computer lab.

So cold in the computer lab. And why do we call it a lab? Like what was happening in there that was like lab worthy But I think that's part of like the placebo effect is we called it a computer lab So our brain is like lab cold like lights You know there's like I think that's part of what did it The AC in your computer room always 20 degrees colder than any other room in your school I put on my pole or my my my my crew neck sweatshirt

We have computer. Yeah. Always taking a nap in there. I ripped ass in the computer lab one time so badly. Why was I just thinking about that? And I, because it was, it was on those comfy ass,

like, you know, soft computer chairs. Swivel chair. So I just, yeah, the swivel chair. And so I just, a little SBD,

I just little SBDed it, you know, and there's this chick named Jessica sitting next to me. Always, and it was rank, dude. It was rank and I was just sitting there, like working on my shit. I was like, oh, man, is there like, what's going to happen here?

Because this is like, this isn't one that's just flying under the radar. This isn't a school fart. This is an at-home fart. Yeah. Luckily, it just was silent though. And all of a sudden after about six and a half seconds. What's going to happen? What's going to happen? I might have to get up.

I might have to get up. I would have bailed. But I was like, I was like, you know, I'm not going to. I'm obviously known. noise was made, so I'm not gonna, I'm just gonna fucking go about my business. I'm not gonna claim. I'm not gonna file a claim on this. But Michelle said she's gonna. I, dude, I've never, I don't know if I can do this right now.

Say it, say it's a get it over with. I don't, I do not. Do it in the Jessica voice. Please. Oh my God. He just goes. Okay, it seriously smells like shit. And I just, bro, my face got so red, but I just kept looking forward. It didn't even... I can't imagine the look on your face. You didn't even react. You didn't even give her one of these. It's why is it so funny?

It seriously smells like shit. Dude, if so... And she had the look on her face. Like, you know, when you're like, it's like a pungent smell and you're looking like this. You're like... Yeah.

Bro, I don't think I'd ever say that. If somebody farted, I don't think I'd ever say that. You could cut open a deer next to me and I'd be like, yo, just shut the fuck up. just don't make it a big deal please just one of the boys like just please dude

you said why not do this because you do that that's an admission of guilt bro I know I always like agree with him I'm like literally but seriously smells like shit for real I was wondering the same I thought it was like just my nose literally

dude i was asleep i was asleep one time in religion class just letting them fly dude just green light hey and the reverb off those school chairs man no but these these were silent like couldn't even tell couldn't even tell bro and i was like sitting in a way that it was just they're all green lighted bro they're all green lighted and it was like a nap class after lunch religion football teacher nap class and I was just in the back of the room just thinking that they didn't smell

and somebody goes okay it smells like crap back here and I was like just pretended to be asleep it's like you do man yeah no admission of guilt letting them fly oh god this is from

this from Kindle subject line Pringles man, Mr. Monopoly, Mr. Peanut, Mark Dantone, same guy? Wait, who is the last one? Mark Dan Tony. Who's that?

The coach at Michigan State, the old coach at Michigan State. Why do I think it was Dan Tony? When they won the Rose Bowl. I don't know. Says, hey, Benny and Jojo, hope all is all. I know this is not a sports podcast,

but I just have to ask, what are some of your niche down bad highlight bids? The ones no one, just seems to think about are ones that you feel like you only know about i have a few which are the following but are not limited to dennis dixon statue of liberty of play versus michigan in 2007 johnny mansell doing the check sign versus rice the sean foster super bowl td dive to wrap it all up i have to give my sports asmr and what i had asked god for asmr i think it works best for me to have things that have never been said or heard by human ears give me just gus johnson's

March Madness voice yelling nothing but Greg Jannings. He put the team on his back though. And I'm asking God if Pittsburgh had an NBA team, would the team colors also be black and yellow? And also bonus question for God, why did the Tennessee Titans get rid of the white helmet? Oh my God. I was just thinking about that. And make sure it leaves an actual triangle on my left cheek. Dude, I was just thinking about that. Titans white helmet was so so obviously the best. decision. God, I love it with the white pants and the Navy jerseys with the

go back. It's Don't even man. Navy helmets? Yeah, Pittsburgh's I know. So not tighties, good. Pool ball ass helmets.

Bro, it's so like forced lets me a cool team. No. Don't have to mess with something that's not broke guys. Don't have to. I promise. I promise. Pittsburgh's NBA team would be black and yellow though For sure No doubt about it

What would they be though? What would the nickname be? That's a good question All right You got the penguins Alliteration You got the pirates You got the Steelers obviously

For the town's history It's a lot of pressure here You don't have to answer Maybe think about it I really don't want to mess it up either. I don't want to say something really lame and yeah. I really have nothing off the top. Maybe next week or he can send in what you think it would be.

This is from Frankie, not my son. Bartender! These guys love the show. Joey nailed the Neil Everett bartender Jack that eventually just became bartender call. But he had another baseball one too. It was two lines that eventually just became one. It only worked for solo home runs, but he'd say, Sammy Sosa, solo shot, he drinks alone, which later became Sammy Sosa, he drinks alone. Also, who is your Mount Rushmore of Sports Center anchors?

For me, I think it would be Stuart Scott, Scott Van Pelt, Neil Everett, and Stan Verrett, and Stan Varet, with special shoutouts to John Bucci Gras, Kenny Mayne, and John Anderson. Slap my ass with a goal post-padding that Joe Horn moved to get his cell phone. Keep doing your things, guys. Laverteus Coles. That goalpost pad was like 800 pounds. You ever try to pick up a goal post pad? They're so heavy. I'm like for what?

Crazy. Crazy. Remember when Pac-Man Jones slid down at like a fire pole? Never forget it. And then Antonio Brown tried to do it against the Steelers and he got, against the Colts and he got flagged for it. So lame. Yeah, that's a pretty good.

It's tough to beat that. I think I would go, I'd go Neil Everett, Kenny Maine, Chris Berman. Kenny Maine, low-key second. Dan Patrick. This is Sports Center anchors, man. Scott Van Pell got to be in there for me. Stewart's got 100% duh, lock, stone cold lock. Kenny Maine for sure.

And the fourth guy, I don't really know. I do not know. Yeah, take Dan Patrick out for me and put Stuart Scott in there. I mean, if he is, we're doing the faces on the hill, Stuart Scott is on that. Yeah, I mean, Dan Patrick's solid, but like not really wowing me by any means. I know there's people out of the, I don't know. God, dang, I can't think of the fourth. I like Jonathan Coachman for a while.

I was like, dude, when he subs in. he was wild he was just like loud and like WWE and I was like I kind of like this yeah it was different for sure

when coach was in there the coach I was like I fucking love that guy I think now Adam Scott's pretty funny I think it's his name I gotta look through

I want to see all this it's just so different now I want to see all the Sports Center anchors like in a list because I know there were some bangers back when Sports Center was like ripping

had to be the number one show on TV every morning at like 8 a.m. I'll just look it up right now. John Anderson definitely real good. Smooth. Bootsha grass. Booch grass is great. Dude, what do you think about

I feel like Steve Levy had some funny one-liners in there? Oh, he did. He's low-key, very funny. he would do he would do random bowl games too yep he would randomly do like the Notre Dame weird bowl at

the Yankee Stadium and shit and I'd be like hell yeah he was nice with Rich Eisen was a Rich Eisen yeah um Steve Levy was good with like hockey you know the guys

does that The guys had their, like, their sports, you know? Oh, yeah. I'm like, oh, that dude's like a hockey guy, you can tell. Right. It's like Carl Ravich. You're like, oh, baseball tonight's about to come on. Ravich is sneaking in the studio early?

Hey, who's like... Ravich is foxing us? All right, all right. Station, how about this? I'm like, okay, he just slipped into the other side of the desk, like... Far pan to Ravich all the sudden? Yeah, okay. Barry Melrose.

Is that the other guy? The hockey guy? Oh, yeah. Every time he came on screen, I was like, I hope my mom's now watching. It's the hottest guy I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, Tim Legler, too,

for some reason. Tim Legler? Hey, he's still got the swoop? The O2 swoop spike? Legs, dude. Always super tan. About his business. He's a good one.

All right. This is from Mark. Or, no, this is from Walker. The subject line is Mark Pryor. How goes it, gentlemen, piggybacking off of a combo last week where y'all disputed whether the beach is overrated. I'll take it one step further, a day at the lake or a day at the beach. Both scenarios are with your best friends, drinking your favorite beverages, eating your favorite snacks. Personally, give me the lake.

Nothing better than a lukewarm seltzer and a soggy turkey sandwich, only to be talking to a fringe guy about how the sick of Devin Hester era was in Chicago. Slapped my ass with the ASU Trident while I scream, fuck the pack 12 with tears running down my face, Let's the loop of Pat Tillman's statue in front of Mount America Stadium. Signed William the Fridge Perry. Appreciate it, Walker. Crazy. Tears running down my face. Lake is, to me, beach is like so family.

Lake is so friend. Yeah, that's some Indiana shit, I think. Yeah, probably. But like, you're out there on a pontoon. There's randomly fried chicken there for some reason. that's also kind of soggy. Somebody's got the sick lake house, you know, that like you're trying to have a party at there

that me and Ben never get invited to. Yeah. Just never. It's easier to go home from a lake too. Yeah, wants to get through all the winding hills that are narrow as shit. I'm like, where are we going?

Every lake I've ever been to, I'm like, how did we get here? Like, how did anyone know how to get here? And how are, their houses built upon this ledge. Who's living here? Who's just living here? It doesn't make any...

Lake culture doesn't make any sense to me. You just put your boat out there and it's just there? With the tarp all over it? Who snapped that up? You? You don't live... Your grandma lives in that. Who did that for? Everything about a leg. You got to tie up the boat. What?

Okay. You can't go that fast because the police. these cops on boat. I'm like, what? How do you know all these rules? You can't go back in the cove on Wednesdays, Thursdays after 3 p.m. I'm like, dude, I'd just rather live in a neighborhood.

There's too many lake rules. We might, dude, how about the people that got like arrested for going too fast? I was like, what? There's speed limits? Yeah. If you don't have a license on the boat. All the excitement of like

getting on the boat, you know, everybody's packed We got everything packed out. Everybody's good. Yeah, this is awesome Lake Day. And you pull out, and then you have to go literally like three miles an hour until you get through the wake zone. You're like, can we get there? All right, bro. Let's go.

Yeah. I'm like, I can still hear everybody and shit. We're just sitting in here. All right. Wake me up. I have a turkey sandwich in my hand. I'm like, somebody has a cast on. You're like, I don't know how you're going to do that.

The best. chips, the best chips at the lake. Every time you're on a pontoon boat, the best chips you've ever had. Hey, it's the, it's the crinkle ones. The ruffles with the ridges. Oh my God. Slice my neck open with those.

Oh, dude. How'd he die? So fucking great. Lake Day, ridge ruffles. Hey, they're kind of wet from the water from the lake. You're like, they still got a little bit of a crunch to them

you know a little bit of a snap those chips are like wet and he's literally eating them two girls talking like this laughing and shit you're like what do you what my life's over I guess this is the most embarrassed embarrassing moment of my life

I'm just sitting here eating chips two girls are laughing at me when's this over why does this happen every time I'm ever doing anything with anyone I'm just eating fucking chips. What? But then if you have that reaction, then it's like... He's like a hot head.

We're not talking about you. We're literally not talking about you. We're talking about her sister, who her boyfriend just left her and she's pregnant. Why are you looking at me? He's like so mad. Is he on the baseball team or something? He's like baseball mad.

Like day. Best chips. Hey, why is there cheese on every sandwich for Lake Day? Right. Nobody's ever heard of just a plain fucking sandwich. Can't be a turkey sandwich. Always got to be a piece of cheese on every fucking sandwich. The thickest piece of orange-ass cheese.

The orange is just the most craft single with 2% milk you've ever seen in your life. Nobody's ever heard of a plain sandwich. Hey, just a mustard on every one of them? not even just mustard fucking mayo the whole thing man do I have to have a club sandwich out here Jesus Christ

I'll just stick to my soggy chips all right he's like weird fruit that no one's eating veggie tray and their little containers it's like somebody maybe had a strawberry the ranch is open

all the veggies are there though you're like it doesn't add up Maybe somebody had a strawberry. Last thing I want to eat at a lake is a strawberry. I'm like, do I just throw the fucking other part of the strawberry in the water? Can we do that? Is this like throwing an apple out your window?

Can I just fuck toss this thing in the... Or is that littering? Am I going to go to jail for four and a half years? I don't know the water rules, guys. And how many cops are there out here? Are there snipers in the trees? All I want to do is eat an apple. People are going to be not happy about this.

people are very passionate about their lakes. Oh my God. Those are the people I hate. But I still pick Lake Lake Day over Beach Day. I still do. I know. Me too. And if you have a lakehouse and if you hate us, can we come over? It's from Ryan. The lake litterers. This is, uh, settle up here. I'm going to try to power through it. It's from Ryan.

subject line, the wrong Jake. Guys, huge fan of the pod in your social media. Long time listener. Now that summer has been over for a while, I'd like to say that the best part of my summer has been recruiting my dearest friend, Eric, from Saratoga, our beloved JV coach, to the clubhouse. Wow.

There it is. We have a real-life example now, Clubhouse. There you go, Ryan and Eric. Not a sports podcast. Listen to you guys and knowing him. I knew it would be perfect. I love what you guys do. Keep it coming.

Thanks, dude. A topic that often comes up with Eric and I is the moment several years ago while we were coaching JV football together. We ironically had about five guys on the team named, let's say, Jake. And after a big win, one of the Jakes had an amazing game and was kind of a kid of high character. On that following Monday, I accidentally gave the wrong Jake captain of the week. Prior to announcing his name, I explained how this went to a kid who I looked to as a person. I want my unborn son to be or my daughter to marry. Tough as nail is a competitor who thrives under pressure yet humble.

When I said the wrong last name, it went to a quiet scout team player and a non-contributor on game day. My question to you is, what is the proper course of action after such a mistake? One, immediately realized the mistake and tell the kid to sit down and we met the other Jake. Two, not admit your mistake. Keep the kid as captain, even though he'd probably, even though probably every kid knew I effed up. you keep him on the bench but go out for the coin toss three start him and make him a hero and pretend it happened eric and i often discussed this i went with number two it was our first year together today i would go with number one and not give a shit what would you do differently

p s ben we will 1,000% incorporate buildings exploding into our highlight film well done by coach p joey when you come to saratoga you'll find eric with a bills rob johnson jersey and me repeating every last thing he said. Slep mask with a cowboy's jersey with the name Bloodsoe on the back. Oh, that's a great jersey. Thanks, Ryan. Appreciate you, man. Appreciate that a lot. What is the proper course of action? Got to go number one.

For sure. I say number one, but don't do it in a public manner. I think you got to fix it. Because the team knows. Right when you say the wrong. Jake. They're like, oh shit, they said the wrong Jake. But I think the team, like, if, if you went and you said, like, you realized it, and then you took Jake 1 and Jake 2 and you pulled them aside, like, after the other players left,

and you're like, hey guys, you know, I appreciate what you both do. We, I just had a, a flub where I said the wrong us name. It's actually to this Jake. I'm sure you probably gathered that, whatever. And then you switch it. and then the rest of the team, I feel like, are already probably new. And then from that point, once the right Jake went out for the coin toss and all that, they were like, oh, like, did we actually make that up in our own mind?

Did coach fuck that up? Or do we just make that up? Like, then they would realize it and everything would just be good. You don't have to embarrass the kid too much in front of the whole team. And then it's just let bygones. It'll be bygones. Yeah, that's a good way to do it. and they should be JV football coaches.

All right, let's do one last one here. You guys have been, I mean, you guys have, we appreciate it. You've been emailing a lot, team these guys at gmail.com. Please don't stop. If we don't get to your email one week, we'll get to it the next week. Like, keep sending them. Please, love them so much. This is from Ryan.

He said, August is a Wednesday. Jens, love the shit. It's spelled like that. You spelled it S-H-E-W. Oh, my God, my voice is going to be dead after this. You guys are hitting me with the long-ass ones this week. Jesus Christ. All right.

Loyal clubby and love what both of you guys bring to the world. Any posts from Ben or Joey on socials is an immediate share to the masses on my end. Thanks, bro. You guys mention that months being days, and I got to say August has to be a Wednesday. It's that month slash day that you want to get over. over with so bad because you know what lies ahead. Thursday is too sexy, like you guys said, nowadays to be all of August. But the moment that first real college game hits the schedule, then it becomes Thursday, like August 23rd to the 30th. From that date on to October 20th is Thursday,

gets you pumped for what's coming. You sometimes get some action on Thursday night, like you guys said, etc. Halloween starts Friday. Halloween until Thanksgiving is maybe the best time of the year overall. football, MLB playoffs, NBA, NHHL starting up, nonstop action, excitement. It's like a good Friday night. Thanksgiving until New Year's Saturday. Just the best, bunch of time off. Thanksgiving, always a four-day weekend. Other holidays hitting on Wednesday, Thursday during the week.

Just take the rest of the week off. No worries, carefree. Nothing about pure bliss in every sense, just like a Saturday. January 1 until after the Super Bowl is Sunday. You enjoy it. It's also relaxing, but you kind of have those Sunday scaries as the Super Bowl. Well approaches because you know it lies ahead. No football.

Then March Madness and MLB opening day is Monday. Like the NFL season, it's not all doom and gloom on Mondays because sometimes a Monday can be fun and have action. Has you missing what you just went through, but it'll do. Lastly, May and June equals Tuesday, July

plus half of August is Wednesday. Rents and repeat. Thanks for reading. Curious for your thoughts. Love you guys. Slapped my ass with a Mountain Duke Code Red Stain, 2008, Robert Mathis, AFC, Hawaii Pro Bowl jersey. Oh, my God. The sign-offs are just impeccable.

But what do you say Tuesday was? He said Tuesday was May and June. Which I hear what you're saying, but that's tough because it's like, that's the start of partying. I like that's the start of summer. I hate Tuesday, but I love May and June. Yeah. It's hard.

You can't really compute it like that. May is May is the end of school May is the start of summer May is the Indy 500 here for us in Indy May is Memorial Day weekend

Three day weekend May is like Thursday Weather pools May is like Thursday energy You're like It's getting Getting sexy in here

June July Friday Saturday I think you nailed a lot of that Ryan And I appreciate the thought that went into it. I think we both have to disagree with May being Tuesday. That's a tough one for us. May is one of my top. May is Thursday or Friday for me. Mm-hmm.

So if you live... Yeah, good. If you live somewhere that's not, you know, our entire... Why it's so big for me is because it's where I live in Indy, May is a party the whole month, and it's like, it's insane. But if you live in Montana, maybe not so much. you said something else I'm trying to trying to think Wednesday Thursday yeah August you're right as a good transition point

yeah beginning up until like August 20th or so you're like eh but then football actually starts you got Labor Day weekend coming up like now we're now we're rocking and roll and now we're rock kind of rolling a little bit all right yeah we got more to get to next week

keep sending them team these guys at gmail.com that's awesome that we can't get to all of them because that just means that the clubhouse is growing and more people are emailing. So that's really good and we appreciate that a lot. And we want you to subscribe on YouTube as well. These guys Clubhouse because we put up a video episode every week. Leave us a rating. Leave us a review. Comment on our videos, mostly comment back.

Leave us a like. So more people are perusing around on YouTube. They're like, what should I do? What should I watch? Oh, these guys? Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll get down with these guys. Boom.

There you go. So that's how it works. spin? What do you got? Um, Tickies, benedictipolice.com, come out to the house, putting a little these guys tour together soon. Yeah, I'm posted on that. I promise I'm working on that. Promise I'm working on that. It's all, you know how this

goes been. It takes a while to get everything, but like there will be shows for people to come to. Put your boys, put your burpy girls onto the pod, subscribe, leave us a rating, review, comment. If you want us to bring something up on the show, show, comment on YouTube, put it in a review on Apple Pods or Spotify, help the burpee boys out, you know, but yeah. Totally. It's about it.

Cool. See you guys next week. We'll talk to you next week. Brian Belaga. Brian Finnegan.