THESE GUYS! - Superbowl Is The Fartiest Day

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

On this episode Ben and Joey talked about why Rihanna is one of he hardest words to spell🧢 These Guys Merch: https://benedictmerch.com/products/unisex-premium-sweatshirt-1

Yeah, bro. Everybody's talking about Jalen Hertz stat line from Sunday night. What was it? What was your stat line from all you were doing stupid shit? I ain't your mommy. I ain't gonna tell you what you want to hear. You come to me for straight facts. I love the guy that's like,

I'll say anything, that radio host. I don't care. I have no boundaries. Look, here's the deal. Let's say no, agenda-driven radio. This is just how it's going to be. And I'm going to tell you how it is.

fired the next day for racist comments on 937 the polls that was a sick outro that should probably be our intro these guys 21 TG 21 TG 21 listen on YouTube Apple Pod Spotify Stitcher wherever you get your podcast get your merch at

Benedictmerch.com we got some these guys hoodies over there look at this look this a throwback dude I was just panic putting on clothes and I just saw that like 17 seconds ago in my drawer. Still got it.

It's perfect because it's perfect because in indie right now it's like a solid 53 degrees sunny. I know. So it's not, you know, you're like, hey,

I don't need a coat or a jacket. Give me a nice crew. Let's go. This is a throwback here for those of the new two. I think this is like our first merch that we ever did, honestly.

We're like clean, classy, cool, simple, to do it. And we stuck to it. But yeah, I wore the these guys

the other day. And it's that, comfy as shit. It's nice. It's real comfy. Yeah, dude, I'm wearing shorts. He's wearing shorts. He's doing it. Everybody ever. You're wearing shorts? Every time you wear shorts. Shorts? I'm like, shut the fuck

up. Oh my God, he's wearing shorts again. I'm like, I just worked out. Like, people that work out in pants, too. Get a life. I work out in pants. Really? Yeah. Get a life, bro. Really? You wear pants out? I try to work up as much of a sweat as I can. I like that thinking. But some people, I don't think they're thinking.

like that. It's just a lot of clothing, but I wear a hoodie when I work out, so I get it. Yeah, and you wear the hood up. Yeah, I love that.

So, just fucking see you never. Yeah. Not talking to anyone. And people always think I have my AirPods in, and I don't. So people will just, like rip ass around me.

And I'm like, ha, I heard it though. Heard it, though. You ever say anything? No. I'll look at him and be like, hey.

Hey, you just do one of these. You just go. Pull the, pull the, pull the, Pull the hoodie back a little bit. Yeah. No headphones in.

Except for I just ripped 17 seconds ago anyway. So I'm like, same page. Had to cover. You had to cover up my fart with your fart. Deal. Dude, I think speaking of that,

this is going to be the grossest podcast ever. Good, bro. That's all anybody wants to hear. Day after the Super Bowl, got to be the fartiest day of all time. Dude, it's so hard to get going after the Super Bowl. For seven hours of the day,

I'm like, oh my God. Everything I was eating last night, all I could think about was like, man, if I was in an office tomorrow, the amount of crop dust in that would be happening, it would be insane. Do you ever think about like foods that you're about to eat? How many farts that is? I'm like, that's 280 calories probably, but that's really like six farts if I'm taking down this slice of pizza. That's just how I see food. Two donut holes? I'm like, that's four farts of bees. Last night, I mean, I'm going on like 36 hours straight of heartburn.

you've been heartburn boys since like like low key high school yeah i know it's you've been a tums titan for a while now yeah yeah now i was a tums titan now i got now i got pepsid pride i made the switch pepsid player i get the i got i get the bag i get the banner in my basement you know with the marker on it you know like the cheerleaders riding what do you mean pepsid pride oh you break out of that thing every Sunday. Yesterday, definitely. But it was like, damn, I had to keep going back to the well, brother.

Oh, you're just... I've just been going on. I've just been living with heartburn since like 2 p.m. yesterday. Damn, I got it one time when I was a kid before a Colts game. I'll never forget it. I took down a whopper in like five seconds

at a Burger King. And I was like, I was in my dad's Ford Taurus. I was like, oh! And he was like, what's going on? I was like, I don't know. He's like, you got heartburn. Yep. It's rough, dude. It's, I mean, but I can't, you know, I do it totally to myself. I mean, you know, Super Bowl Sunday. You're right. So we're just having, you know, had tiny meatballs that had jalapenos in them. Tiny jalapeno meatballs, chili bean dip. Buffalo chicken dip. My buddy ordered pizza at halftime. Let's talk about it. What pizza, what kind and who the fuck was that bold? Donados. And it really, they get. got there in like 20 minutes. It's very impressive.

I don't know if we just beat, you know, they're all just like giving high fives to each other. Like, we made through no Super Bowl Sunday. Yeah. We get one order and they're like, ah, fuck. But it won't be bad because it's just like, one, the last ones that are trickling in. So it got there in like 20 minutes, which is pretty cool.

I wonder if that's a top pizza day, Super Bowl day? Yeah. But then just like, you know, had some beers and shit. You've some beers. Yeah, dude. So, I mean,

I just absolutely just had the, had the flames going, up from my chest through my throat. Father fart. Yeah, I mean, chili bean dip. Come on. That sounds like a fart.

That's all you got to say instead of chili bean dip. What's on the menu? In some chips. Oh, okay, I'll be there. Hey, everybody's on the CBD kick of,

you know, they're taking the CBD, make yourselves feel better. I'm like, nah, I'm not on that CBD. They're like, what are you talking about?

I'm like, chili bean dip. That's my CBO. Oh my God. Do you have any CBD oil? You're like, yeah, take out a crock pot. Smoking CBD. You're just like, what's up? C.V. infused with CBD.

Sounds good to me. Yep. CBD tacos. Fuck yeah. Bring them over here. So that's what I've, that's what's been happening, man. That's where we're at. God, I want to go back to just ripping those sports talk promos. Oh, I can do it all day.

I kind of I probably understand. Raw unfiltered. We'll be back. We'll be back. Raw unfiltered sports talk. Look,

here's a deal. This is what really goes down in a locker room. He speaks the truth. I know you don't want to hear it, but this is how it is. Keep going. Keep going.

Hot, hot, hot. Hot, hot. Just all the most generic. Yeah, I'll be all the sound effects, you be the guy. That all of our father-in-laws or dads are just like, damn right. Yeah, I'm like, they're like, what time is that start? Let's go cults.

Let's go cults. They're like, what time's that start? In a world where people are afraid to say what's on their mind. Let's go. Let's go buckle up four quarters. That's why you turn it, tune into the tickets. Weekdays 12 till 3. That's how it's just gonna be.

I give you the truth. That looks like Jerry Rice out there. Yeah, that's just, it's just a right there you play that. If you just blast it out on the speakers like out to the world. Well, if you just, if you set up giant. speakers in the heart of any city who just blast that out there. It would be like it would be like a siren

that just catches all like a dog. 32 to 56 year old men. It just kept, yeah, it's like a dog whistle and they all like perk up. Dog whistle for guys with goatees. And they just instantly become curious. All of them. Their wives are like, what?

What did what just happen? They're like, I just they heard something. There's been a calling. All guys with goatees just perk up like dogs. They all just start fucking walking backwards to the same place. In their wrangler jeans and shit. All running into each other. Oh, did you hear it too? I heard it.

Let's go. Let's keep going. Let's keep going. You guys go on the ticket? Oh, yeah, man. He speaks the truth. Hot, hot, hot. This is my favorite thing.

He's not like, you know, you turn on, you turn on those ESPN shows, you know. they've just gone down away I can't listen to that man this guy just tells it how it is it's all scripted over there so what'd you end up doing for the Super Bowl? Dude I didn't watch one play

you're an asshole I swear to God I didn't watch one snap you're such a fucking asshole I had to I was like when I like realized it was on it was probably like half

it was probably like the second quarter and I was like what if I just didn't watch any of it? And then I was like, I mean, I'm already like halfway there. So I was like, I'm just not going to watch it. Just to see if I can do it. What'd you do? Like, what were you doing?

Low key. I was just like kind of, I was writing for a little bit. And then I just started listening to like Lincoln Park for some reason. And I ordered some food and started like trying to redo my website. So what, like, was there anything on the TV? No, actually, I did give in. I tried to watch it, but it was like, you need to update your app

because you need to on a different account. And I was like, okay, no. So it was the best night of my life. Oh, and then I went to the store at like 1150 and I was super down bad and bought some bananas and peanut butter. Back on, baby. I was clean for like two years off peanut butter, bro.

Yeah. You're going to be on the... You're going to be touring soon? You're going to be PBA. I'm not, dude. Because I, dude, you know what? They put me in check. TikTok put me in check.

About what? I went to sleep and I was like, and the first thing I saw was, bro, you're stepping into your bad habits again. On my TikTok, I was like, how do they know? It was just like somebody doing

one of those weird, cringe motivational things. No, it was like text where you swipe. Mm. And I was like, how the fuck? Isn't Peanut butter good for you though?

I mean, like, not the way I eat it. I'll eat like a whole entire jar. And the kind I got was peanut butter, pretzels and white chocolate. I was like, yeah, see you tomorrow. Yeah. You're a freak too. I bet you, like, dip your fingers straight up in it and, like, do one of these. Yeah.

Well, like, I cut up a banana into, like, pieces like this big. And the peanut butter I put on the banana was the size of the vinegar. Yeah, sure. Right. Yeah. So it's like, you know, this can't be healthy. Right. And, yeah.

So I was like, wow. I need to get my shit together. Too much PV. I guess. And the whole world knows. PBA tour, man. Yeah. I think you need to bring it back. It's not bad. You know, that that that needs to be a thing of merch. PBA tour. Are we torn tonight? Peanut Butter Apple tour? Oh, man. This freaking acid reflex. God. It's got you again.

It's like a mix of burpee boy and heartburn just sucks, dude. Acid reflux. I'm like, I don't want a superpower. I don't want to talk. to my doctor about it because he's going to be like, well, he's going to make you stop eating and shit. Yeah, he's going to be like, what, uh, so like, you know, kind of run me through your daily, you know, uh, what a question that is. And I'll be like, I mean, I wake up, have like three at least cups of coffee. At least three cups of coffee. He'll be like, yeah. And then, you know, throughout the day, like, you know, especially during the week and shit, I try to, you know, I'm mostly just like drinking on water, you know, I'll have some grilled chicken, some salad, some

fruits, you know, stuff like that. Like for dinner, I'll have some salmon, like some green beans. So I'll be like, okay, good, good. And then I'll be like, yeah, but I usually have like two glasses of wine and it'll be like. And I don't want to, I don't want to face that. I don't want to face not being able to have wine and coffee.

God, that's a dude. The only only two things is the reasons you're still alive. Not my son. Nope. No fucking chance, dude. You tell me if I, if coffee and wine wasn't an event. did. Yeah, I would have been dead seven years ago.

I mean, yeah, it's just, it's like, look, I'm willing to battle through and just be Pepsi and have Pepsi pride because I'm not giving that up, dude. I'm not. I'm not doing it. Like, if it comes down to it, I'll stop drinking beer. I'll stop having the Coke occasionally. If I have to do those things in order to just have wine what I want and then coffee every morning, I'll do it. I'll do it. Yeah. How about just wine and coffee just being the two grossest things ever when you're like growing up. Oh, yeah. Well, the first time you tried call,

I was like, what are we doing drinking this? Yeah, I thought it was, I thought it was like a giant scam that like, you know, every TV show, people, you know, the pile would be running, they'd be like, pouring it up.

And then a switch flips, man. Like, with so much other stuff in life. Literally, you're, you're like, I'll take, I'll take the hell on the health. I got to have coffee. Seriously. It's amazing. It's like I was... Fourth one today. Yeah. This size.

Yeah. I was... We were on a... It was nice out yesterday. It was nice out on... Flat lines. Dude, it was nice out on Sunday. And we were doing a little walk. And I was literally, like, I was walking. We were finishing up the walk. I was getting close to my house. And I was looking at my yard and literally my head, I was like, that's a bad looking yard. Like, I'm excited for this weather to start so I can start, like, mowing the lawn. Ooh. You got, you got house fever. I mean, and talk about what you didn't want to do when you were

a kid and a teenager mowing the lawn. What a chore. Uh, I don't know. Yeah, it was, but like after your third time mowing the lawn, it was like, it's kind of nice. It's kind of nice to see those lines. It is, but look, here's the deal. You get excited because you're like, oh, wow, I'm kind of like growing up. Like my dad's gonna let me mow the lawn, you know? And then like when you're doing it, you're like, oh, yeah, the lines. It's nice. It's satisfying. But then like after the second time doing it, whenever it's like, hey, need you get out there, mow the lawn.

You're like, oh, God, that takes like 40 minutes. It's hot as shit. Yeah. Probably would be bag the grass. Like, I don't know. Bag the grass. Who's bagging grass? I have shitty.

I have shitty headphones that, like, I can't even listen to music. Every two, three seconds. Can't even listen the fucking song. The volume will be all. literally to the full bar. It'll be all the way up. It's still not even hearing anything. Well, I'm getting deaf and I still can't even hear what I want to listen to. Remember the first time you mud the grass, like how your dad acted towards you after that?

Dude, my dad ripped my fucking ass. Really? Oh, because I was missing spots. Dude, I thought I was fucking Scott's turf builder out there. There's fucking blades. A loose gray. He's like, hey, dude, he took me out there. Look at this.

About this. You didn't mow the apron, the grass outside of the sidewalk. I was like, that's called an apron? I didn't know that. Bro, he fucking, he put me through it, dude. You just, what, you think that's like the fucking city's problem? Kind of a little bit. I was like, the neighborhood deals with this year, right?

No, I just forgot. I was overwhelmed. Yeah, side yard. Your mailbox is in the apron. I just kind of like spaced it because I was like, oh, I'm done. There's like a part behind our backyard that was like the ditch. Didn't cut that. Like, it was just, there's a lot of shit going on.

bro. See, I thought you're about to say it's like, you know, a cool father-son moment. You know, your dad's like proud. It's like, yeah, all right. My boy's like doing some manual labor. Dude, he made me cut it twice. And then he's like, all right, you're fucking up too much. You're done. Twice, bro. Shit looked like wriggly feel. Man, you want to talk about something you know, I was always still kind of am just fascinated by how they'd get it to where there's like the patterns in the grass. Crazy to me. Oh, wait, no. dude, I think they cut baseball fields and shit normally and then they paint like darker grass over the top.

I think they got us for a scam on that one. No, I don't think so. Really? Yeah. Riggly. I mean, really. Yeah, it's just the way they mow it. Are you sure?

Yeah. They can mow logos in that shit? Maybe not logos, but like when they have like it almost looks like checkered, right? And it's like, but it's so nice. I don't think that's painted. I think that's just had them riding out there and doing like, you know, because they could set. It's almost like when you're shaving or like you're doing a haircut. You want to, do you want a two or four on set, right?

Like you can set that. You're right, right, right. So like part of it's a little bit lower. That makes it to where it reflects differently. Dropping it down. I'll never know. I kind of don't ever want to know because I feel like, yeah, they'll be like, oh, yeah, we did just end up painting. It is just a pattern.

I'm like, ah, fuck that. I wish you just told me that it was what it was. It is like in a dude's DNA to like, always just like just looking at grass. I just remember growing up walking around the neighborhood. I'd be like, oh, they got a nice edge on that yard. You know, who's really thinking that? Now, like, I get what you're saying.

Like, you want to edge that fucking, like, with your, on the side of your cement stairs going up. Dude, I love weed eating. Not even weed eating. I love using the weed eater to fine tune the sidewalk and, like, on the fence and everything. So it's not just weeds. It's just like, it's a hard, you know,

you're hard pressed to get the mower right to that area. So you use that shit and you just nail it down. It looks pristine and nice. Or you ever use hedge clippers, bro? I grew up on those. Those little, well, whoa.

No, but, no, not the, not the, like, not these, the big scissors. I'm talking, it's almost like a chainsaw.

And it's got, it's, got the chainsaw type thing going out and you fire it up and you're just like you're going over bushes and shit you're hacking down trees man that sounds amazing why does that sound amazing hedge clipers here we fucking go Nicola coming through right there that one oh yeah when I was a kid I always used to pretend that was a chainsaw and chase like my friends oh yeah dude you can trigger yourself into thinking that it's a it's a chainsaw for a little bit that's a fun day that's a fun day it's a great day it's a great

grab that thing off the wall of your garage. Cut my knee on one of those. Yeah. Bro, I was working my summer job when I was 19. I was doing that shit. And somehow it like, I was trying to get down like low on something.

And I kind of like lost control accidentally. And that shit just like jammed into my knee. Because those blades, you know, they're like going like this. So just jammed into my knee. Was it a stitches situation? No.

It was pretty bloody. But it wasn't stitches. It was all right. your old yard work scar Clippers to me My parents never trusted me With any of that shit So I had to use like actual scissors

When I was like cutting the grass Like we had these all like hand to like We didn't have like an edger We had like a manual thing You like squeeze it and like How long would that shit take? Forever I was on my hands and knees Just like literally cutting grass with scissors around our deck

Yeah I think that was just a punishment I think they just wanted you to get the hell out of the house Nah bro Because I would have like sliced my face open if I would have a weed eater. And we never had a good weed eater either. We always had one that was like always breaking. The little string would fly off. Like, and then you see the landscapers out there with their like, you can cut a whole yard with theirs. I'm like, dude, yeah, starting up a weed eater, that shit sucks. Never can never, can never get it. I never did it. I was just like,

trying so hard. Trying so hard and then trying so hard not to get pissed while you're doing it. Even though the neighbor, like down the streets are like, holy that dumbass, he can't get it. And it's like near the end of the whole one thing. You're just checked out. You're exhausted, man. Fucking throwing it down. The amount of times I like primed a lawnmower and shouldn't have.

You know, you like press that little red button. They couldn't make that look more inviting that red button. I'm like, damn, I want to eat that button. Your thumb goes like fully into it, you know? There's like gas behind. And it's like, you're like, oh, I can feel that. That's nice. I'd prime a limower, 376 times.

Fire that bitch up still wouldn't work. Yeah, I was going to say, yeah. Like, God. No matter how primed you wear, nothing. NFL Prime. Sorry about you. Still not working. NFL primed.

Law and mower prime time. Da-da-da-da-na-na-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah, so you didn't even see the Rihanna-Haptime show or nothing? No. Well, I saw a lot of it on social media. And to be fair, for everybody who's been listening, you know, I followed through. I did exactly what Ben said. It was literally the kickoff was in the air, opening kickoff.

And I texted Ben said, you do anything for the Super Bowl? Too early, bro. Too early, dog. I said, fuck you. And I went and got more meatballs. Bro, they didn't have a Super Bowl themed cookie cake. What? I was pissed.

So I just had to get a race. regular cookie cake and like talk my way and being like, well, it's got like balloon. So it's kind of like some. It's a party for something. It's a party. It's kind of like celebrating the team. It's got a red and a yellow one on there. Yeah, I got there too late, man. I was Sunday morning. And it was shit was popping. I mean, I literally had to do four laps around the market parking lot. There wasn't a spot, man. What was not a spot? Every spot. Every spot. Every, I'm not exaggerating for parking. Four. Four laps. through to find a spot finally. That's tough. It was very tough. You kind of just want to go home.

I was thinking about it. Yeah. Like, do we even need to do this? Exactly. I was like, it's just a cookie cake and tap out quick. A six pack of blood light. Got it. Those are the two things you need, though. I know. Deep down. You're like, damn, if I just wouldn't have been a bitch at the store earlier. Like, like, you know, I was like, should have pulled the trigger on Wednesday. Should have pulled it on Wednesday. Nah, nobody's doing that. I'm just thinking like when it's near the end of the game and you really need that like whatever seventh bud light and that slice of cookie cake and you don't have it bro you just looking at yourself in the mirror like who am i i don't i think i think it's almost like impossible to get drunk on super bowl sunday uh because i was like

definitely all me and my whole like the the group of people that were over at my house like like I was consistently having beverages from six. Probably four o'clock. Ooh. Until midnight. 10. And I remember at one point, I think the start of the fourth quarter where I literally,

I had my beer in my hand. I took a drink. I like, I kind of looked at it. And I was like, what is this even? This isn't even doing anything. Oh, I hate that.

That's a horrible feeling. Horrible. You're like, what am I? This is doing nothing to me. just, I'm killing myself slowly. Right. I'm getting myself heartburn. My face is going to be all chubby. I'm going to piss 16 times tonight. You had a real moment with yourself, bro. I did.

I think I stopped after that. I think I, yeah. Did you even drink the rest of the beer? I don't think so. I was like, this is pointless. This is literally pointless. Were you pissed? Kind of. About what? About what? Just the whole beer thing? I was just like, I don't even have like a buzz. Not even Super Bowl buzz? It's weird how sometimes when you drink, you just don't even, doesn't even happen. But then sometimes I'll have three. beers and I'm like, oh my God. California. Saying some dumb shit. Exactly. Why is that happen like that?

What we're gonna do is we're gonna go in our RV together. Yeah, yeah. I wish you get one of those school buses refurbish it. We're gonna go in an RV together. We're not gonna, well, we're gonna tailgate every single Colts game in the RV. Mm-hmm. We'll just split it, man. After three bells, two-hearted.

Bro, I already bought a school bus. school bus. Look. I already bought the paint, dog. Look. Yeah. One sip. One sip. Dude, that's Super Bowl Sunday. Six hours of steady drinking. I'm literally could not be

more so mad. Mad and sober. Bloated as fuck. Dude. Just feeling like absolute shit. Just ate 94 peanuts. 17 meatballs. Somebody's mad at you. Yeah, bro. Everybody's talking about Jalen Hurst stat line from Sunday night. What was it? What was your stat line from all you were doing stupid shit?

I was about to say, stat line like jail and her drinks went fucking 24 31, 311, 341 yards, four touchdown. I'll give you my stats. I had six bud lights, four pieces of pizza, 18 meatballs, 12 pigs on a blanket and two rounds of chili bean. CBD. You're the side chick for sure going in on those sides. Mm-hmm. I was a, I was a Caesar salad double chicken and 10 wings from the tap. I had two propels, two glasses of wine, two bananas, and a full jar of peanut butter. That's an interesting one. You know what you are? You're like, you're like Debo Samuel. Yeah.

You're taking handoffs. We can do it all. Right. You're taking handoffs. You're getting screen passes. You're going deep. Yeah. Returning kicks.

Yeah. I'm just straight up like, if dare you're doing. Eric Kennery was in the Super Bowl. Running downhill, man. You don't want bowling now to start getting a full out of steam. Hey, as the game goes on, he gets stronger. Yeah, he gets stronger.

Dude, every fucking announcer ever pulled that one out of the back. I think even I did when I was calling games. Later in the game, this guy gets better and better. It's like he doesn't get fatigued. He gets more energy. All right, here we go. Second and 10. Dude.

Can we call it? game. Please. Oh my God. Wait, I would be play by play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'd be color. You'd be fire at color. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, I think the opposite. Like, I think, I mean, I think it'd be fine either way, but I think you're just more of like, you'd have the quirky, funny, dumbass comments. And I just paint the picture. Hey, we can switch it up. We can switch off. Second half. You're right. I would like, I would be able to just like fake it with like bullshit like that to like sound you know i would just basically say everything like greg olson would say perfect you know so no riana halftime show huh you see she's pregnant yeah

that's pretty wild it's all i saw yeah everybody like the whole time everybody everywhere you know it was just like that kind of quiet unspoken like is she i don't be the first one to say it but i think she is yeah why does it feel like you'd be in trouble if you said that like if i was like is she pregnant it's like oh you're rude right just wait for a woman to say it. Just text any girl you know. Like, hey, can you say this real quick so we can all talk about it? Because I'm going to get in trouble.

I'm going to get banned from my own house if I say this. Normal question. Nicole, stop. Would you talk? R-H-I-A-N-N-A? I still don't know how to spell Rihanna or Wiz Khalifa. Every time I type it in, I'm like, dog, just help me out. Just Google, help me out.

Rihanna's a tough one, bro. It's really not. Words that you still can't spell Rihanna was Khalifa for me. And similar. Every time I spend spell similar, I'm like, what am I doing? Hey, how about that similarly? Oh, get out of town, bro. The whole family of similars.

It's tough. Similar, similarly, similarities. We go on Y or IES here. I don't know, man. That's what I'm saying. A lot of, dude, I get stuck on a lot of IES or Y. If you think about how hard spelling is sometimes, it's amazing. accommodate. Yeah, a lot of one C, two Ms. What are we doing? On the, like the, the mainstream, I don't know how to spell this. I got you definitely, we all know. Restaurant. But the first time I, conscientious. Wow. I haven't even said that in like seven years. Entrepreneur. Dude, exercise gets me every time. Really? I don't know how to spell exercise. What do you? I don't know. I'm like, where's the S?

in the sea. What are we doing? Sometimes I'm like, there's not a Z, is there? Size. Exercise. How about when people spell defense with a C sometimes, you just want to slap the shit out of them. You're like, why are you from Canada? I'm like, yeah, I love how you can just tell foreign people. They just drop it you and like flavor. You're like, okay, bro. What is the deal with that? So funny. They'll tag a tag a an E at the end of shop. I'm like, okay, sign a declaration or something

while you're out of dog. Until with two L's, come on, that's not. That's down on the world. Somebody in your comments, dropping a U in a word that doesn't have a U, you're like, all right.

Oh, okay. I got some reach. You're in some UK viewers. Oh, maneuver. That's not how you spell maneuver. I don't think it is either. There's no O in there. We'll see.

bro, why did growing up definitely, why was definitely one that was like that too? Still kind of trips me up. Why do I always want to spell it defiantly? Definitely left an AIM away message when I was in like sixth grade. That was like, the Steelers are defiantly going to win this weekend.

Wow, he's serious about that. Yeah, I was going to say, no, on that shit with maneuver. M-A-N-E-U-V-E-R. right spelling bee

we can do that right now did you ever do it like when you were in grade school nah I don't think so no no no I didn't we never had the was that a thing

I was that it's true where we were it was never like we never did the thing where everybody got up on stage and then went up to the mic and we never did that we had spelling tests

but we never had that like public embarrassment of you know I got publicly, dude, I got, I should have been stoned. People should have thrown rocks at me for the way. I used to go up to the board when there was like a math problem and just butcher that shit. One time I wrote a three backwards, bro.

I was like, I'm going to just be sick tomorrow. Yeah, dude. I was just, you know, I was ready. I just, then I was like, is it that way? bro when you when it would be when you would be doing like teachers would have the games where it would you be like doing prep for a test and you would have two different teams and it was like board board races is what my worst nightmare. Oh it's terrible man. Public humiliation. Absolutely. And like you would just be out there absolutely just on an island on an island drowning and then somebody like the person

that you're going against would start writing something and you would try to be like pull it off like you're you just, it happened at the same time for you, but you're just seeing what they're writing. Yeah, you're like, then they like turn their body towards it because of course it's like the smart girl. So she knows like this dumb ass isn't going to do anything. Yeah, you're like, I would always just, yeah, I would pull the Billy Madison joke out of my ass and just put like resudo and then everybody. You know, my teacher would be pissed. I'd be like, well, whatever. Did you really pull that? Yeah, because I'm like, I mean, I'm not going to not put anything. And then, you know, that'll get a few people to at least be like, Bill Mason. That's pretty easy. pretty jeep. This is pretty slick, funny move, dude.

I don't think I was pulling that at all. Somebody would get me like, those are Zs. I'd be like, all right, cool. We're down to clown here. Oh, yeah. The kid that, like, you never really hung out with, but maybe you'd be like, maybe we could be friends. Yeah, he watches movies with his dad. Unlike weird weekends when he's over there. We're in sixth grade. He's already definitely seen Caddyshack like 18 times. Like, that kid has an Xbox. He definitely watches porn, like weirdly. Like, we're on the same page.

we're like your friend that you're like you would be best friends with but he's like kind of embarrassing right but like he gets all your jokes and shit the image you just can you can't live with it i i can't be friends with you like that that's so shitty man that sucks yeah because i know you got a bad family yeah i can't come over for sure because like your dad smokes and shit like like obviously dad smokes inside you drink so much mountain do yeah and uh all you want to do is watch Animal House and we're 11. You don't play sports either and shit. And you collect Pokemon cards and my dad doesn't know what those are,

so I can't come over tonight. But low key, like we're homies. After all that. Like, I want to sit next to you in class. Like that would be, you know, it would be cool. But that's like the extent of what we could do. Yeah, that's our relationship. And he knows.

Yeah, that is nice when like, but then sometimes, dude, I would get hit with like the kid that was like that who would literally call me out on it. Oh, damn. Like,

he would, he would be friends with me? Well, he kind of like tossed it out. I'd be like, yeah, why don't you come over? Oh,

wait, I forgot. You can't come to my house. He would do that? Joey can't come to my house. What a bad motherfucker that kid was. And I'd be like,

dude, shut up. Yeah, like it's not my call. It's my parents. Throw the old parents guard on there. They won't let me stay the night yet.

It's my, it's my parents. But do he? down you're like, I am kind of scared to go to your house. Yeah, like, are you going to stab me if I don't come over? Like, he kind of has a pocket knife on him a little bit. Like, you saw a fall out of like the front pocket of his backpack. And you're like, oh, shit.

He's real. He's definitely had a beer before. Just not afraid of all to get detention. Always wearing a little too much black undressed down day. Like, ah, you listen to a lot of bands. Can't be friends with you. Oh shit. He has a blink 182 folder.

My mom's not going to like him. Dude. The hairs parted in the middle. Oh, yeah. That sucks, dude. I do not like,

I don't want to be that way for my son. But then what if my son is that kid? And then people are like saying like, oh, you can't, I can't come over to your house because you're, you know. I just don't want to do that.

It's rough. It's rough life. It is, man. It's scary. Parents know, though, man. Like, my mom would only let me hang out with kids that, like, when she was friends with the kids' moms. Like, you can't go over his house. I don't know his mom.

It's like, because we weren't on the same basketball team. I can't, like, be friends of this. It gets to know. I don't know his mom. I'm like, uh, I mean. Get to know the mom. It's because you've never been to anything that I've done ever at school. you don't even know the day we have school

get to know the mom yeah when moms would be too close of friends though oh god all right you're get you guys hey you guys aren't in school anymore your day's done they love it way too much hey let's just you know

go to your go to go to work or take us to you know it's your day for carpool for practice all right it's it's all it's all it's all it's all it is I hated that carpool bro dude carpool okay you could at least

work out a deal with like your boys kind of to carpool with sports what year are you talking about like how old are you like high school type shit

well like grade school middle school early high school when you couldn't drive yeah yeah carpools on the way to school always the most fucked up people why is it always

just like people that you that is the only connection is that somehow they live like four streets over. And so they're like, yeah, we worked. I talked to him at, uh, parents night out and, uh, we're going to be carpooling together. You're like, what? This fuck? This kid, he's so pale I can see his veins. Like, I don't even I'm gonna get in their van. I got, let me do that. They're gonna talk to me. I don't know these fucking people. I'm gonna smell like their van for the rest of the day. Like, this is crazy. Carpooling is. toss me into the more the most awkward situation you can 100% when I'm 12 that's every car that's

every carpool to school and of course it's early in the morning nobody wants to be there already dark outside dark outside the dad's listening to really weird music or bob and tom or nothing nothing's wild we always had nothing on in the I was like oh this is horrible your dad wouldn't listen to anything uh I can't know, man, because it's just too weird. What do you mean? It's more weird not to listen to something. Well, he would listen to like Bob and Tom.

And then like when there's a bunch of kids in the car that are 10, I love you, burpee boy. Whoa, you can't listen to Bob and Tom. But damn, that shit sounded good on the way to school. Their laughs and stuff. I was like, I want to listen to that. I don't even know what they're talking about. No, so.

So crispy. Yeah, it was. In rhythm together. Oh, yeah. And every time. he like switched over to Bob and Tom accidentally they would be dying laughing and it would actually be funny to me too

and I was like I don't even know what listen to that but he's like hey you know kind of nod in the bag because of the weird carpal family that you're with can't can't put that on I'm not in charge of what they listen to they'd say like penis or something right and then they go home and tell their parents

and now it's weird your parents and their parents yeah what are we going to do on Halloween when we got to step up to the plate at their house that public shame But yeah, so my and my dad wouldn't like play popular, the popular radio station either because he wasn't on 93.1 vibes. No.

He was on like some weird like X 103, Rob Zombie shit. So I think he just, we just, I don't know, bro. He was probably relying on me to like talk to him or something. I wasn't saying a damn word. On the 6.50 a.m. Do you ever start wearing headphones yourself? My dad offered to buy me headphones. So we didn't have to listen to Chingy in the car.

not during carpools. But he was like, can you play a circus music in your own headphones? I was like, Dad, this is that shit, actually. Such a football coach. I like it when you do that right there. Turn that crap off. Holiday.

And I was like, this is the best song I've ever heard in my life. Don't you got your own little earbuds or pods or whatever the heck they got going on here? Get yourself a headset and turn that crap off. headsets. Every dad and coach somehow like their accent just totally

it's all it's one accent. It's not like a regional accent. It's just the dad coach accent when I start getting into that mode. Turn that crap off. Is that Pittsburgh? Is that what is that Buffalo? No, there's just one dad.

Yeah, it's coach dad. They just hit a different level of like, hey, coach dad. Every dad's got a little coach in them. That was just a clearing the throat. I don't want you to clear that up. I don't want you to jump in on it too much.

I was good on that. I was good on that. What else? Yeah, I'm gaming, you know, the, dude,

the, the, the, fucking, the show on Fox after the Super Bowl. What do you mean? See what it was?

Last week we were talking about the, like, the come down of like, what the hell? Yeah. It was the word, like, Fox didn't even,

try. It was just some weird Gordon Ramsey cooking show. That's what you texted me. I was like, what is he talking about? I couldn't believe it. I was like, it's not like, it's not even like a scripted drama that maybe would hold people. No, first thing, just Gordon Ramsey just been like, I have a few of the worst bakers in the world in my kitchen. And this is how we're falling up to soup. And then it's like, it went into it. I was like, it's already over. That might get some of the moms, though. I think they were trying to hold the moms over on one. Moms. Pull, pull the wool over the moms. Cooking? Moms aren't, no, they weren't. They're not in it at that point in the game.

They're gone. Super Bowl. My mom would watch the Super Bowl in the other room. Yeah. I mean, by that point, it's just, it's totally background noise or it's already off. Gotta get kids to bed. Bro, one time my dad just right when the Super Bowl ended, I think I said some dumb shit during the Super Bowl and got in trouble. You ever been in trouble there? in Super Bowl? Oh shit. I said something stupid. And right when the game ended, TV off. TV off.

Let's take Aaron home. I was like, Oh. Did something so stupid. I didn't even go home with them. You know, you like, your dad's dropping you and your homie off and you ride with them. Yeah. I couldn't even go on the trip to his house. My dad just dropped Aaron off in complete silence. Came back to the crib, dude.

Oh, you had to stay home. Dude, he's like, no. Your poor friend. And that whole time that he's gone, you just know they're just an absolute, just whooping verbally, maybe physically is waiting for you. I would try to sneak.

I'd try to go to sleep, a fake sleep, dude. You ever pull the fake sleep? Because you don't want to get yelled out? You pull the fake sleep, but then sometimes they're so mad, lights come on. Oh,

shit! They don't care. They know you're fake sleeping, but even if they aren't, they don't care. Yeah, give me the heat now because I don't want it in the morning on the way to school either that Monday morning. Or like when they try to like hold out for, you know what I mean? You're like, when is this coming?

I hate that. Like the ride to school, it's weird, but there still isn't like one of those. And then the whole day at school and then football practice, you're like what? I mean, geez. Dude, being in trouble while football practice is happening is. Can't focus on anything. I'm like, I got shit going on, coach. I don't know, but I can't do up there.

I can't do leg raises. Politsi! Scotton! Up there! Talking about in your head. You're like, honestly, do you want to know? Honestly, I think, like, I think my mom knows I watch porn. I don't know. I don't know.

I forgot the clear the search history, coach. Like, I tried to clear it and it won't clear. My mom might have, like, looked at that shit during practice. You understand the heat I'm under right now? Yeah, that was shit about saying, Pious dog? I got bigger problems.

I think it. I went to Playboy.com and that shit might be on there. Dude, I think of an eighth grader said that to me. I'd kind of be like, I'm kind of like, all right.

And I'd pull them off to the side. I'd be like, coach, give us five. Or, you know, hey, Thomas,

get in. And I'd take that kid to the side. Oh, the baller move. Captain, dude. I'd be like, hey, all right,

now, I understand. Okay, we've all been there. All right. It's going to be all right. If I need you to lock in. I'd be like,

listen, here's what's going to happen. They're going to approach you about it. All right. Stuff. Honesty is the best policy. All right, son. Be honest about it.

Okay. They'll forgive you. Be a learning experience. But not get your fucking head in the game because we got to run this pitch, this power thoughts. All right. All right. You give him a little three minute reset.

You got me. I'm ready now. I'm good. Give him a little three minute reset. Okay. And then now this kid's like, wow, coach is like on my side.

This is dope. Yeah. Like he might have my back. My parents like hold me out of the game because I'm into much trouble. See, but then honestly, you do that though. And your coach, like, what world do you think this is? I don't get a shit about what's going on at home, son. And it just makes it even worse. And then you're doing up downs. Your coach's pissed at you. Your mom's watching fucking porn that you looked up.

Dude. Oh my God. Like you ever think, how about did you, do you ever get in so much trouble that the school would call your, your house? Oh, yeah. And your mom, oh my God. And then your mom picks you up and you're like, what happened? What I meant? Did they actually talk? Or what about when it's like after school?

And you're there and you're like, yeah, I mean, like, I kind of mouthed off to my teacher. Like, I did some dumb shit, but like, I think it'll be all right. And then all of a sudden like, P. Oh, like, call her ID is like, call from Barnabas, Saint Catholic Church. And you're like, oh, man. Mrs. Kitchens is calling my house right now. I would literally- fucking mom picks up the phone.

Hello, this is Lori. This she. And then she looks at you. Kind of a bit. Done. Kind of like a what-y-do tone. Oh, man. Super fake.

And then it would be like, she would just give you a little, for me, she would just give me a little like, and then you're like, what? What's mom? Even though you know. And then it's like, and then it's like dad.

And then it's like, dad wasn't home from work yet. So it's like she had to wait until dad was back and then they were going to full on full court press you. And then dad's pissed because he's had a full day work. You know, boss is riding his ass or whatever. Didn't close the deal. He's got to come home and deal with the boy who mouthed off to his teacher. What'd you say. Man, I learned from the best, like honestly's best policy. For real. You just fessed up. bro, I lie my ass off. Because every time that I did that,

my parents would just be like, no, no. That's, no, that's not how it happened. Like, what really happened? No, but what she said, but the teacher, the teacher hates me. No, they don't.

What'd you do? What'd you do? And it's like, all right, fine, I threw erasers at her head. Ooh. At the teacher, for real? Are you just kidding?

No, I was like kind of, I don't know. I was like, I remember this one time. For us, I know. Is it a Friday? It wasn't like at her head.

Like it was one of those like she, we had kind of verbally like gotten into it a little bit. I was being a smart ass. And then we had like our dry erase boards or whatever. And like she said something that was like. The teacher? Yeah. She said something that was pretty like. You know, everybody's kind of like, ooh.

And I kind of just like flinged my eraser. And it like went up and hit the chalkboard. Yeah. It wasn't like, oh, that's crazy. I didn't like, I wasn't like throwing it at her. It was just like, yeah, yeah. You know, you're like that, you know, that's wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's wild. One of those situations. Yeah. But got the call. Got the call. Got the call. You call home. Got the call from the big leagues.

You're going, you're getting, you're being sent down, son. Rough life. Mm-hmm. All right. These guys is 21. Wait, wait. Okay. Before we wrap it up.

If we get a minute. Come on. The people want it. You know it. I don't really. Dude, I, oh,

don't, don't pull this stunt. Stunt. Don't pull this. What are you talking about? Don't pull the wall over us for this. I know you're mad at something. Why are you saying,

why are you putting that on me? The minute, bro. I know, but like, why are you like, I know you're mad at something. Something's going on.

I'm pissed off all day. There's got to be something. You're like, fuck, you know. I mean, I guess just like in a situation like last night. Like I,

I'm just so tired of every single game that isn't just a regular season game. And most of the time, even a regular season games, like if your team doesn't win, grown-ass men, just being like, she gets the refs tough when it's, you know,

Pat Mahomes gets with the refs. Tough when you're playing the refs. Got the rest. in your pocket. Yeah, the rest of your pocket. It always is like that. All right, the rest. What if you,

you came down to the refs. Dude, shut the fuck up. Like, the Eagles had a 10 point lead at half. Right? Like, they had every opportunity in the world.

Mahams was hobbled. Like, the chiefs couldn't get anything to go there, barely on the field in the first half. One call. One call. Such an easy out. Ruffs.

And I, yeah, and I know that, like, it's just like in general. Like, everybody. That's all,

every single big. game on Twitter. Rigged script. Rigged. Riffs. Riffs, bro. Riffs, bro. I'm like, if you're 12 years old,

you could be like, refs, bro. Take that L. It was the refs, bro. Hey, you're 32. Zebras dog. They got us again. Also, hold that L.

Tired of that shit. Hold that L. Man, how's that L? Hold that L. Massive L. You should. should only be literally you have to be a little fucking white kid doing a gritty contest at a party or a dance to say that to say hold that l if you're above 12 years old and you say that el

you're fucking loser that's what you are you're you're big that's your big l you're big l word hey guys to say hold that oh hold this oh exactly hold that l up on your forehead and shut the fuck up about the refs, about holding L's, about, oh, he big mad. Big mad. Nothing will piss you off more. And it's all like, I love like somebody will say something to you or just in general. It's not even to me. Like I'll just see it happening on the timeline.

Some fucking, you know, dude will say something to like Mark Schlereth. And then somebody like Slareth will literally just have like a comment. in response. That's just like, you know, pretty good rat to tat, like verbatim back to him. And then all of a sudden, they just like blow up his feed. Just be like, all the crying, laughing emojis. Oh, I got him. Oh, he big mad. Oh, ho. Clown. Yeah. I'm like, dude, you are being the clown right now. Yeah. And also, how are you going to expect for you to say some dumb shit to somebody? And then they just respond back to it. And then it's like, whoa, watch out. Hold that hell. He big mad.

fucking losers, man. Go crawl into a hole. Shut the fuck up. Man cave. TG.21. TG.21. Follow us, subscribe. Watch it on YouTube. Please.

See you next time. Bye-bye. That was a fire minute, bro.