THESE GUYS! - The Baseball House

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

this week the burpy boys realize John Elway looks exactly like a bronco🍻𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝗱𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘁Indianapolis - Dec 18 https://indianapolis.heliumcomedy.com🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 Phoenix - Dec 5 https://www.micdropmania.com/shows/264572Sacramento - Dec 15 https://concerts.livenation.com/we-own-the-laughs-in-the-sacramento-california-12-15-2024/event/1C006131DC6A4508?_gl=1*zvzgd5*_gcl_au*MTk0MzQ4MTA5NC4xNzI5MjMzNzgy&_ga=2.252934153.1611751562.1729233782-1846946392.1729233782Rutherford - Jan 9 https://www.bananascomedyclub.com/shows/285024📺 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY

They invite you over and they're sitting there and they're kind of keeping an eye on you. You know, they're coming bobbing in and out of the rooms because they're like, I got to keep an eye on Politi, man. My girl's in the same room as him. Oh, man. No chance. But that's the thing is like they think they're worried about that. Meanwhile, your dumb ass is over here and you're just like, I can't wait to steal that piggy bank.

That's definitely their grandma's. Oh, yeah. You got a bundle of bananas? No, you don't. Not bad for a fat guy. And I just woke up both your kids. TG 109. 109, feeling fine.

Hot, hot, hot. Back together again, huh, Johnson? Oh, gee, I mean, yeah. Yeah, bro. Feels good. Feels good. Your hair's looking luscious. I need to get a haircut.

It's a little too much. The graphs are working. The graphs are graphing. Good for you, man. Yeah, just if when it gets wet, though, you'd be like, okay. This is some 09 Politi right here. Oh, nine, you think? Yeah, this is the same Roncalli Polo politi every day.

The white one? White one, the hole in the armpit? Too short to tuck in, but it was like nobody was saying anything to you for some reason. That's great. I tucked one side in. I was like, maybe. I was like, I guess he's a running back. I guess that's why?

I don't know. Backplate. Third period. Wait a minute. How's you have a back man? Running R on it. God dang it. Not a sports podcast.

Not a reminiscent podcast already. No one knows what we're talking about. Nobody. Hey, who does? I don't even know. No. Cool, cool. My favorite food is pizza.

Ticks. Tickeys, December 18th. I mean, Yeah. These guys live. These guys live. These guys live. Get your tickeys right under here or at either of our websites.

Helium, December 18th. 7 o'clock. And, dude, it's going to be, it's going to be a party. It's going to be, I don't know what it's going to be, but it's going to be fun. Even my dad posted on Facebook, he reposted. No way. Week before Christmas, what better place to be? Couldn't agree more.

We're going to go stare at the tree lighting in Indy, downtown Indy, and then we're going to go and slap each other's asses. Or egg knock on my head, slap me in the face, rip all my hair out. Mm-hmm. And then. watch J.P. Loseman highlights. Kyle Buller, J.P. Lozman, same guy. What's a diff, babe? Dude, how great. How great. Doesn't sound great? And dog's barking and wife's

going to be pissed. All good. Already mad. They're both already mad anyway. So let's just do it. Dog's so stupid, dude. I hate that fucking dog so much. Same dog that was running out in the front yard and not running out in the backyard. He's just always getting me in trouble, man. He just lives to make my life worse. I love when the homie from the comedy club is like, dude, I live on Joey Street. They're always like yelling for their dog. God, dang, man.

Unbelievable. I'm not buying into this man's best friend stuff anymore. Man's biggest pain in the ass. For sure. Just kidding. That's going to get clipped and everybody's going to be like, wow, Joey Mulanero hates dogs. New I hated him. Okay.

I love my dog, but like sometimes you're just like, dude, shut up. Dogs are annoying, bro. Clip it. I don't know. It's always tough when you have the friends that you know don't like dogs for whatever reason and they come over. I got two of them. I got you. I got three of them, actually.

I got you. And I got two other buddies. I'm probably guarantee you can guess which ones they are. Like Corby and Andy Ward. You don't have to. You make I mention every week now at this point. It's all we talk about. No one knows what we're talking about.

No one knows what we're talking about. But you just tell, man, every time. And the dog can sense it too. The dog can just tell. and he just attacks, man. Blood in the water, when a dog can tell that somebody isn't a dog person for whatever reason, doesn't leave him alone the whole night, jumping up on him, jumping up on the couch trying to get in their face.

He's deep down the guys who aren't dog guys are dog guys. You know? No, I disagree. I mean, I'm not a dog guy, but I like a dog, bro. Like, it's cool. You're like a soggy dog and aluminum foil. I love soggy dogs. Give me a soggy dog and Besa Baza.

And a Bisa Baza. This dog likes pizza. That's all I've been wanting to say this whole entire time. This dog. I don't know if you know, but the dog likes pizza. This dog likes pizza. We had a review, we had a review on Applepods, which you should do if you haven't done it yet. We had a review that said my favorite podcast about Papa John's pizza.

I said, get the show. gets the show. Beets a, beats up. We want beta. Yeah, so December 18th. Great time, great time. Week 4 Christmas, these guys live and hope to see you there. It's going to be awesome.

Get your Tiggies. Thanks. What else do you? What else do you got? We got Phoenix December 5th. We got Sacramento, December 15th. Rutherford, January 9th. Tickies, Bennypilletze.com.

Dot com. Dot com. Yeah. This little. I'm throwing it back until the 90s. I feel like 90s, 80s, maybe. Maybe both. Got the Homefield.

Big shout out to Homefield. Send this over. Black Friday deals are going to be sick at Homefield. We got this awesome gear. Got this Purdue. For you watching on YouTube, we're in person. So you can tell, I'm sure, by the audio. And we're rocking fits.

We got Jake Plummer over here to my right. You're left on screen. Had to top. Got the 90s Purdue Boilermakers. pullover windbreaker, I think it's what they're calling it. And it's comfy and it smells like Christmas morning when you open up that fresh new piece of apparel from fanatics or sports fanatics, better to sports fanatics. And you're wearing it and you're like, wow, this smells so fresh and new. It smells like Christmas, dog.

It smells like the box that it came in. Talking about Christmas timestamp. Hey, did you ever, when you went shopping for Christmas, did you ever get the stuff wrapped like there? You know, there'd be like a table with a bunch of moms. Like, I did one time for an ex-girlfriend at Von Marr. How did it go? Because I'm always tempted. I'm like, should I just do that?

Like, is this a service hours thing that they're doing? Not at Von Marr. Von Mar there, you know, it was nice. Legit, they'll, like, throw a bow on there. Oh, yeah. It was sexy. It was way better than what my dumb ass can do. I'm always torn on that every time.

Even for my wife now, I'm like, you know, She's like, well, it just means a lot that you, like, put in the time and the effort to do it yourself. And I get that. But at the same time, like, it looks like a fucking two-year-old monkey did this. You know? Spit and, like, spit and tape balls everywhere. Crumpled up corners, you know? Banana.

But come on. And I try. I try. I try every year. I kind of get too into it sometimes? Like, I'm wrapping a present. like you'd be because you you're weird like that shit like you've got like good clean crisp handwriting I feel like you would be a good rapper like present rapper but I go too hard and like what does that

mean like I go too hard and I'm like ah I can do it better than that you know what I mean I'll like unwrap the present and be like I can do a little better oh so I'll rewrap a present maybe like three times I also can see you doing that I'm like like if it's all uneven I'm like I kind of want them to see that. You ever seen a therapist? Dude. Do I look like it? First guy that's ever said that to me though.

You got some deep, you got some deeper seated things. Is it like 62 girls that tell me that asked me that? That's all right. I wouldn't say it to anybody else with you. That's good. Yeah. Damn,

that's good. That's kind of a personal private thing. And I don't mean it in a bad way. Says it on a podcast. Just a thing between me and you. That's why I said I wouldn't say to anybody else But this is me and you in the clubhouse There's therapist out there

I'll go I walk in the room He's got an All-Stought jersey on I'm like let's talk What's up bro? You guys got Buffalo chicken nachos in here too I'll do therapy if you do that You know Ben

I've been listening to your podcast With that guy who does the Chris Collins Worth's impression You call him Joy Joy He's sitting like a cat in his chair when you walk in. Allstad jersey on. Oh, yo.

This is my place. I'm at home. Just everything. Gorilla gold in the corner. Everything you've wanted to say your entire life. It's kind of all you have to do to get me to open up, dude. Just comes out. Just start giving me a haircut.

I'm like, well, you know. Yeah, I don't love myself, but I'd like the back rounded. Yeah. That's good. Man, we're down to my basement. We're recording at nighttime. We don't ever do this. circumstantial things, you know, that we had to do.

And I'm drinking wine. I'm having wine during the pod. You've got wine voice on right now. I've got traveling back from Bitsberg and being at the Steelers game and having two kids that wake up at 4.30 in the morning. That's what voice I have. Kind of dad wine voice. Yeah, dude.

weird. I didn't even scream that much at the Steelers game. Really? Yeah. What? Wasn't that game like insane? It was insane, but I had Mirabella sleeping on me. Not that I... Not that you watched. No, no, not that I. Not that I saw that last. You went to Buffalo Wild Wings and requested to turn that game on. Not that I had a Cordell Stewart jersey

on backwards or anything. Half my face painted yellow. Bleeding from my ears. No, I didn't see it. What happened? But I had like, we had the kids and they're always sleeping on me or what uh during the game yeah and so it was just tough to and it just felt weird like it's a little bit of a switch you know when you become a dad and you got your kids and like your family there with you and so you're like i'm representing i can't be a total jackass here yeah you wanted to wear like a steelers license played on your oh for sure a chain yeah hey no more fan at games all i wanted to do

is just just yell obscenities at dante johnson the entire game but i couldn't because i have my i have my nine-month-old daughter on me. You know? Just, I love it. Nine-month-old, nine-month-old daughter-dad can't be doing that. I did, however, have her sleeping on me at one point, and the Ravens were coming off the field at halftime, and I just stood up, and I said, shove it, Baltimore, you suck! And then I gave her a kiss on her head after.

I wonder if you'll ever remember that. Hey, dad. She was asleep. What she, though? Low-key Ravens fan from now on I was just like wondering what the people around me Were thinking you know They're just like this dude with the baby on his chest

Just yelling obscenities at Baltimore I think it'd get a lot worse dude I know I've seen a lot worse I know The dad that like throws his kid in the air for the foul ball Yeah And catches his kid again pretty sick Yeah

Is that a good or bad move Bad My if I was at a game and my kid was there The kid would die in four innings Just throwing them on the field Oh there's a home run ball Oh my head I'm like catch

Oh Explodes in the air Oh shit Shouldn't have a kid Whoops Go Cubs Yeah It was so funny

Dude it was so Football game Middle age football fan guy These dude's sitting behind me I can't do it It's third and one Right Russ goes out of the gun

So already they're shit Like them. Already they're shitty about that, you know, because why are you going out of the gun on third and one? Which at the time, I was kind of like, you know, let's just line up and get a yard, you know. But I was like, you know, maybe they spread it out. You just hit Muth on a nice little hook route over the middle. Yeah, okay, I get it.

No backs? Empty? Oh. Cuby draw on. Not that I. So on third and one and Russ takes a shot. He honestly puts it right in his breadbasket, man. Like Calvin Austin down the left side line

Now the sports podcast Puts it right on him Austin drops it It was a tough play Like the defender was right there But Russell literally put it in his arms And Calvin Austin just dropped it And these guys behind me

They just start Millions of dollars To catch millions of dollars To drop balls I just don't get it I mean that's your job To catch passes You get paid millions of dollars

I get so embarrassed Dude You pay millions of dollars And you're dropping passes you had one job i literally this is verbatim i could pay millions of dollars to drop passes dude that's why i can't go to games man i really can't i'm like you guys have no idea huh you bro stop it or like when people in the crowd like think the team should have done something else i'm like you know you know more than they do that the coach of the team you know more i did that one

time though it's all good after the two minute warning we had all three of our timeouts right ravens have the ball at the one yard line like for sure going to score so i'm like one either just let them score or two call time out after they don't get it from the four yard line to the two yard line to save yourself you know 45 seconds when you get the ball back at the end of the half so instead of having a minute left to score you have a minute 40 left to score and so that exactly is what happened the raven's score and so i'd turn to my dad and he's we had we had we had we had We were sitting in two different rows for whatever reason. And I turned my dad and I just go,

would have been nice to have that 40 seconds. Yeah. I forgot. I got to let you Mollinard. You got to let Moulinard, Mollinard. Ooh, can we get a minute? We forgot the minute last week. What was it even about?

Oh, my God. We need to do that. We need to start clipping the minute. I texted you because I had it, but I think I lost it. Don't. Don't play that. Something will come up. Yeah, man, you got to let me have it, dude. Steelers Ravens, I'm there in person. Like, come on. Yeah, I'm going to be Molnard. How do you think this is?

Got to let Molnard Molnard at the games. Got to let Molnard Molnard Moulnard. Yeah, but that was my weekend in Bittsburg. It was insane, too. I went to that hockey game. Mm-hmm. Every hockey player just looks like Gardner Menshoe. Oh, long hair mustache? Pretty much. Yeah. I'm just like, they're all, it's just, it's Gardner Minchua. Twelve of the same guys. Garno Minshu tonight. Yeah. Mario La Munchu. Gardner Lemieux.

That's so stupid. Every guy's name. Every hockey guy's name. I'm like, I don't know. Yeah. I guess that's Ovechkin, I guess. Guy who doesn't know anything about hockey. He sounds kind of like a dick.

A lot of Vs and Js and Ws back to back. I love in hockey how they're all like, maybe not anymore, but they're all like high numbers for some reason. Oh, yeah. I'm like, why the hell is he 19? Yeah. Best player 98? We're doing that. Hockey's kind of we should that should be our shit hockey. But the names and the uniforms. NHL hits. And the never forget. Yeah, the jerseys or sweaters however you prefer. I don't really care. People are calling them sweaters. My dad kept doing that. Sorry, sweaters. I'm like, I don't, dude, is that even a thing? I don't, I feel like it's not. They're jerseys. Who fucking cares? I'm getting used to calling soccer jerseys kits. I'm like, shit. Went to the Pele store in Times Square with my dad wearing New York.

Yeah, me or we both were just like Ben, Ben, Ben. What was it looking like? Were the kits? Was it like expensive? At a store like that, I can never. It's either real cheap or it's like authentic. It was pricey. It was pricey.

Like crazy in there. But it was, I mean, it was, yeah, it was super cool. They had like the jackets of the matching sweats. Oh, man. kit. Yeah, so it's nice. But yeah, hockey. Was it crazy in there?

Was it like turt in the crowd? Sirens when they score. Oh, yeah, loudest siren you've ever heard in your life. I kind of like that. It's crazy. Yeah, Frank would look at me like, da, da, it's loud. Three periods?

Why do I love it so much? So sick. Was there a lot of people in the crowd? Like, was it back? It was a nice crowd. Saturday night, you know, Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. Gloves are penguins, right? Bittsburg.

Bittsburg and everybody's number 97, everybody has long hair and nobody has teeth. Oh my God, I love hockey players, girls. Yeah. I'm like, when have you ever seen one? Hockey players and baseball players. It was a lot of hot, oh, wrestlers too. I'm like so, you just like guys

that get hit in the face. What do you think the echelon of every time I grow... So what do you think of the echelon of athletes? that girls like is baseball's number one really yeah it is over basketball basketball

man you know when guys are 6-8 I don't think it matters and I don't even know if girls like dudes that are that tall yeah they do I know but like at a point it's like bro you're 611 well yeah I mean you know

Victor Wimbunyama is probably but they're kind of all that tall don't they're not you just ride with me on this one My God, dude. Basketball players are tall. They're really tall. They're really tall, but there's a difference between 7, 5, and 6'8.

Hey, 6'4 baseball player? Come on. Come on, babe. Fat contract, fat ass. What's up? Yeah. But see, the thing that bothers me... The thing that bothers me is that...

Come on. Girls love baseball players, but it's not like they were... loving Chris Bryant, you know, or... Who is he? You know who Chris Bryant is. But it's not like they're... It's just some guy for you, Indy, who has a mustache, right? Oh, a baseball player are you talking about?

No, I'm just saying, like, girls would love baseball players when we were growing up. But it's not... Like, looking back, it felt like they were talking about, like, oh, my God. like they love this guy who plays baseball you would think that it was Chris Brian or fucking Cal Ripon or it's just anybody it's just a guy who went to Greenwood who plays D2 baseball and dips sorry he has baseball hair love him he has baseball hair and he touches his junk all day I don't see it maybe that's just because I was a radio nerd

yeah he played bro I don't know if you knew that yeah but not in college I don't know, baseball players. Yeah, definitely not football players. A wrestler would creep in there every once in a while. I'd be like, that guy for real, damn, okay. I think it goes basketball players, baseball players, hockey players, football players. But the girls who love the football player, like, they were together since high school. They, like, were cheerleader football player in high school, carried it over into college.

Like the girls who had a guy who was a football player are definitely married with like four kids now. Football players are in it for the long run. Yeah. They're like locked in. Yeah. That's just how I see it at least. Baseball players kind of the same way, but they're probably divorced. Baseball players are sketchy relationships, dude.

They're all dicks. They're like bad too. Like I kind of want to stand up for them, but I'm like, I got nothing. got no proof. Like, you guys always cheat on your girlfriends. Baseball players always cheat on their girlfriends. Football players get married out of high school.

Then they cheat on their girlfriends. See, I don't know. I think it's, unless you're a lineman. Yeah. Linemen, don't got to worry about a damn thing.

He's painting your deck tomorrow. If you want to lock down a relationship at a high school, just get together with the linemen. See, it's kind of dangerous, though, because you have the reversal. You have the,

you have the lineman reverse. The lineman reverse curse because you're with the lineman and, you know, he's like the pudgy teddy bear and he's kind of gross, but like you love him versus personality and then he's like strong teddy bear. And then all of a sudden he stops playing. He thins out, joins CrossFit. Holy shit, he's hot. Eight pack?

Right. Hey, Brody has an eight pack? Brody has an A pack? Dude he used to like, dude used to build Legos and Channel One. an eight-pack. But you know, you get with the quarterback, right? At the beginning, he's like, oh, we're sweethearts. He's the hot guy.

He's the big man on campus. Then he stops playing ball and he loses all that, you know, the attention and the notoriety. And he gets fat because he's- Car around the telephone pole. He gets fat because he's depressed because he doesn't have that anymore. And he's mad that he's with the same girl that he's been with. D-Y-Y screaming his name anymore and he's a pudgy guy at the end of the bar and he but then what's worse though is that he all basically what I'm trying to say is they both end up being sketchy because the line he did because the lineman gets hot and confident and then the quarterback is depressed and drinks too much and he so then from that he just does.

something stupid. I hate, I hate when I see like a former college or high school quarterback like 20 years later and I'm like, damn, dog. Like, you're just this guy now? Yeah. You should be quarterback forever to me. Right, right. It's like when you think of somebody's first car, like that's just their car. Yeah. To me forever. Like if you're like a lineman guy in high school, like you're just, you can't be skinny after that, dude. You're just always going to be Brody. To me, dude, I know you deep down. Don't, don't do all this shit. Oh, going to be brodie. You're always going to be brodie to me, dog. You can't, you can't trick me. I saw you picking your nose in Channel 1. I was too. Yeah. So I don't know. It's just,

these are just observations. That's what we do. I'm just jealous of baseball players. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. And basketball players, actually. It was such a weird, they always had parties, but they were so exclusive. I know. I'm like, what VIP event is this? Do I have to have a bracelet on to get in the baseball house? Jesus Christ. Not welcoming. And like I was homies with a baseball kid like in one of my weird classes. And I was like, oh, he's on the baseball team. That's cool. I like realized it halfway through.

So we all we started to be friends. Realized he was on the baseball team. And I was like, I'm friends with a baseball kid. Maybe I got like an end. Yeah. And then they had a big like, there's a baseball house party at Texas. I was like, what are you doing? I knew he was there.

He's like nothing, bro. Just chilling. I can't even slide. Just. Well, you, you were at a disadvantage because one, you're you and you play football so those guys were definitely like Pulitzer's not coming here and stealing all our tail

stealing all the things in your house I'm not I'm not in it for the girls dude I'm telling you but I will steal a lawnmower out of your garage at 2.30 a.m. Bro, that is the dumbest shit I swear see that's what's so sneaky bad for too. Hold on peanut butter what up didn't talk to one girl

that's what's so sneaky about you too bro. they invite you over and they're sitting there and they're kind of keeping an eye on you you know they're coming bobbing in and out of the rooms because they're like I got to keep an eye on Pulitzer man my girl's in the same room as him

oh man no chance but that's the thing is like they think they're worried about that meanwhile your dumb asses over here and you're just like I can't wait to steal that piggy bank from that's definitely their grandma's

oh yeah you got a bundle of bananas no you don't just all I was always just trying to like prank people I thought it was so funny Move somebody's car down the road Dude my car got stolen

I'm just like No it did Dumbass I don't know Everybody was doing It wasn't just me doing this like stupid shit See but what sucks though You had you like

You always had like the fucking Brody friend So it was like I did love a Brody You're like this Zach Efron Fucking dude You know Hot as shit All the girls

love him and then he's like best friends with the brodie who's the biggest moron it's just like it was just such a recipe for disaster dude just like a cocktail from hell man just it's crazy your a m comes around bro what do you know what do you know i have a tribal tattoo on my arm all of a sudden i'm glad we weren't really friends until like seven years ago because because prior to that i was having a bunch of parties at my high school school house, my college house. Yeah. Lord knows what would have happened if you would have come and

my fucking we'd have a good time. My big Ben, fathead, just gone. I'm not going to do that to you. I'm not going to do that with the homies, dude. Your mom's car is just in my driveway.

Ever sewing machine for some reason? I'm like, I don't know. I had to sew my school shirt up so I don't have to tuck it in. You had the method, though, because your shirt fit so perfect. It was like it was almost tailored. It fit so perfectly that it wouldn't really go past your belt line, even if it wasn't tucked in. It was just a small hat shirt, bro. There was no strategy that I just washed it and dried it too many times for like actually five or five years.

And I think there were my sisters at one point. I was just rocking it. Yeah. Yeah, girls always have the baggy school shirts. Really weird. It's like comfy. Girls and comfy. Okay.

Good Lord. You ever worn anything not comfy? Oh, man. It's like comfy. The Instagram stories have been going crazy with the name of the game, Cozy. With like a hot, hey, feet and blanket fireplace. Hey, no shit. Do you think you invented Cozy?

Oh, okay. Oh, wow. First time being cozy? First time being comfortable. Oh shit. I've been seeing that everywhere. Pretty, pretty, uh, I just can't wait to be cozy in the fall.

Hey. Fall. Cozy's a different font. Name of the game. Cozy. Or the sparkle star thing. It's nice. It's a nice touch.

With cozy in between. Curseive. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Just in case, if you know, you know, cozy. Okay. Bluffy socks.

Not even, it's just a blanket with their feet out on like an ottoman. But you're like, damn, that doesn't go. What I do? What I do to switch places with her? You always gets me and not like it's just. Candle on? Like, all that, candle on, but then they, oh yeah. Candle on, but then they like, oh, like, if it's a video for, or even if it's not,

it'll either be a picture or if it's a video and it pans up and the TV's got like the 425 NFL game on. You're like, oh, my dude, that, that does like, that does. like that does something to me when a girl is like cozy and the packers are on TV I'm like wait a minute yeah I'm like you what are you actually doing are you watching that just like I want grandma's chilly hmm I want grandma's chilly and did not do my homework lazy sunday big fluffy blanket Christmas tree packers game on I'm like good lord I'm about to slide up what's good good go pack far forever

oh sorry I didn't mean to send that to I want to come over not to hang out I just want to steal that vase on your fireplace That's my grandma's ashes on it It's already gone It's already in my trunk Rattle around breaking and shit

Roll inside this side Ash is everywhere Well Sorry Nana What'd you call your grandparents Grandma on my mom's side my and Papa on my dad's side honestly didn't really like it

I was like hey but if everybody's doing it I think we got to do it but I had one cousin that would call I would call like Papa on my dad's side grandpa and I was like you can do that I'd be like who knew that he just disregard he said no I'm I'm foregoing that I'm foregoing Papa who knew he could do that

we got a little bit see did you guys have like a generational thing on your side like different age cousins that were the wide gap oh my god yeah i thought one of my cousins is my uncle i still do yeah i'm like that's uncle steve probably seven years older than you i'm like well that's me on my dad's side that's weird my dad has six siblings his youngest brother is 18 years younger than him that guy is four years older than me him and my kids his kids and my kids are the same age so crazy so i have You're an uncle, dude. You've been an uncle. So I'm 31. I'm the oldest grandchild on that side. My uncle's about to have his third kid. So that kid's not even born yet. So me and that kid are cousins under the same grandparents.

31 years apart. What? Like I'm the oldest, I'm the first oldest grandchild for my grandparents. He will also have the same grandparents as me. I'm 31 years older. I'm catching it. I'm catching it. I don't think they know the gender yet or have announced it.

So whatever the baby is. My cousin. He's 68. Jesus Christ. My cousin? How's that my cousin? I'm going to be old cousin. I'm going to be old cousin.

That's all the respect there. When I see my older cousin who I think is my uncle, I'm like, bro. I don't know what you've been through. I hope. But to your point about the naming of the, so I just call them Grandma and Grandpa, right? But then the generation, like two generations lower than me that were in the middle, they came up with Gigi and Pop Pop. And I was like, I damn sure I ain't calling my grandpa Pop Pop.

That's crazy, bro. And you know he doesn't want to either. But like, so now that's what my kids call. So Frankie calls his great-grandfather Pop-Pop. I'm like, that's cool because he's two. Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to walk in. 64.

Hey, pop, pop, pop, happy Thanksgiving. Pop, pop. 31. I know, man. I didn't really like it too much, to be honest. That's not bad. I mean, it's not. No papal, though, the Papa?

It's the Italian side. I don't know where it came from. It could be Italian. I don't even think it's Italian. No, it's not. But what's always so funny is that there's always like one grandkid that decides up for everyone. Like, it always one that sticks.

So, like, I had a cousin that called my grandma and grandpa, Gigi and pop pop. Or Grammy. No, it's Grammy. Grammy and Pop Pop. And so then everybody else called him Grammy and Popup. But me and my sister, Maddie, who's three years younger than me, we were before that.

So we're like, no, grandma and grandpa. Oh, geez. Yeah. You know Grammy and Pop Popop. What the fuck is this? That sucks a little bit. So they got, like, you know, they have like three different names. What are doing here?

Yeah. Can we keep it? Good Lord. I always feel like mamma and pat ball is kind of just like the steadiest. It's too kid. It's gotta be grandma and grandpa. I mean like, I'm kind of an outlier having all four of my grandparents and I'm 31. Like, I mean, unfortunately, like most people, yeah, you're, you have names like that because you're only with them for 13 years if you're lucky.

Then they pass. Oh, dang. Never really thought about that. So people don't take into consideration that are like, hey, this gets going to be 31 one day and you're all going to be alive. Luckily, I just got him, grandma and grandpa, though. There are a little G-ma in there? I always did that. What, G-Maw?

G-mo? Like, in tech? Like, what, are we going to G-Maw's? No, man. No? I've started. Try, try, try, try it. Slide to Mattie.

Yeah. G-M-A-M-W. What time you get to G-M-M-R-W? Right. She would like, G-Maw's question-mark? She would honestly be like, Don't ever say that. Please do it.

Okay, sorry, you're right. I got to do it for the clubhouse, dude. Screenshot. She said that she... My sister's a bit. Yeah. I don't know. My kids call their grandparents, my parents.

No, no, no, no. Okay. We'll see what happens there. No, Mar. It's going to be interesting because, like... You know, my parents are only in their early 50s, so chances are. that might be looking at the same situation here. Yeah, they could be 80.

Be ready, pop, pop. They could be 80 and Frank can be 30. Peepaw. You still gonna be calling them, no, no? Like, I know that's the other time, but... I don't know. I don't know. In front of your friends, grandparents' day?

Think about it. That's all I'm saying. Peepoo. Hey, people. You're 14. Jesus Christ. Get it together. Ooh, yeah.

May I set them up for failure there. Hey, I put that on my mom and dad, though. That's what they wanted to be called. So, you know, take it up with them, dude. You think they, like, had a choice? Like, you think they were like, what should we be called? Or were they just, like, left five? Oh, it was a very big process.

Oh, no way. Oh, yeah. Like a March Madness bracket. Pretty much. One seed. My mom. My mom was classic, like, I am not grandma. I do not want to be grandma.

And then my dad, he threw around all sorts of shit, man. What do you say? I don't know. He was just like, you know, like, Big Joe. He was like, not calling me your fucking. name. No. I had a few of those other,

you know, a few other ones like that. Couple Cubs players in there. Tell me, hobby bias. Call me Rizzo. It's your dog's name, Dad.

So? Grandpa. Rizzo Joe. Rizzo and what's your mom's? That would have been hers, actually, because she loves Anthony Rizzo. Baseball players, girls.

Hey, she'd be, she'd be Rizzo. should be Rizzo and dad would be Rino for Ryan Sandberg. Not sports podcast. Go Cubs go. Yeah, pretty much. Man, I'm liking this wine during recording.

This is nice. Chillin. Red lips. Hey. Red lips, red teeth. Reddest teeth ever. Every Christmas. Dude, I'm not real.

Like, I'm so ready, but I'm not ready for the holiday bender. We're in it, bro. We're in it. It's so Christmas now. It's such a great time every year. I look forward to it.

much but damn does it catch up to you when you're just like fuck we got this and we got this and we got this and i'm gonna be drinking at all of them be drinking at all of them and then now it's just like damn my kids they don't sleep past 530 so then i'm gonna be drinking and waking up at 530 you know we're tired i'm gonna start drinking again because we have another christmas party and hit the water babe hit the water man that's the only way i could ever do it water water bottle after every drink just pee in the house down but water bottle after every drink full water bottle after a single drink only way a single like a one glass no no no one glass and wine water bottle and then a full water bottle you got to stay on it though you got to be on fire you don't just do it at the end of the

night house one water bottle at the end of the night is you sure yeah dude ah man I don't know it works a little bit when you just house a pitcher of water at the end of the night but it's kind of painful because you wait it's just like not a good good moment in time i hear you but then like you can't listen to the point you can't enjoy i i would just be like damn i guess i'll finish this glass of wine and i got drink a whole bottle of water it'd be hanging over my head so water i always just like maybe what i would mix in a cup of water you know mixing in a cup of water a dixie cup of water right dude it is so like oh my god i have to drink water can i enjoy anything around here? But that's, see, my method

is different. Mine would be like maybe two glasses of wine and then like a nice red solo cup of water. Take a lap around. Come back to the wine. You know, have food in between. And then at the end of the night, I would have like a really solid full bottle of water

pop two time on or whatever. Never works. Oh for, over 257 on that one. It works a lot. Hey, it works a lot better than just fucking finishing a bottle of wine and then just going, putting head on the pillow. Oh my God. Dude.

Actually, wine, for me, was kind of no, like very minimal side effects in the morning. Like, no hangover kind of. I was kind of just like, oh, okay. Well, I guess this is why LeBron James drinks this. Yeah. I think I got that way with wine, too, until my headache and my headache and my heart. heartburn would just I had different ones wine would be like terrible headache heartburn through the night beer driest mouth have ever had my life weird sick to your stomach feeling all day

I can't no way vodka forget it see you puking through the night the next day you're just toast yeah done so I just like vodka's really not even a thing for me anymore can't No. Can't do it. Does it tomorrow night. Shots. Shots. Chats.

Tequila? Can't do that either. Can't do that either. Yeah, you'll still do it, though. Like, you know what I mean? No. You're not a good girl when it comes to tequila. Some girls in tequila, though, like, they think it's like an evil spirit.

I'm like, yo, it's tequila. You're kind of like that? I just, I've never, I've never, I've never had tequila and then afterwards been like that was a really good idea that's true you got a point there bro like wine around the holidays I'm like dude I could do this all night

it is exciting next morning you wake up and you're like yeah I might get a little headache pop some time on whatever we're fine baby headache yeah I can still go throughout the day nothing this is nothing I had a great little cozy ass fucking time last night Tequila is like, all right, then I might be fun, but the next three days, the next three days, you're going to have to reprogram your entire brain.

But then also that night you might have to as well. Getting hot in an Uber? Can't. Don't put me in the back seat of your car. Oh, shit. Don't put me. One sip of alcohol of me in the backseat of a car? Bad idea.

The hottest car you've ever been in. Never fails every time. Sweettiest face you've ever seen when we get out. Hey. Wet face. Willie wet face. It's not even so much the face. The back of the neck.

Dude, my neck's never. Hey, all red. My cheeks in my neck, all red. You show up and like, you. Three people, you good. You good. Girl gives you a hug. Her arm's wet because she.

Wrecked her arm around the back of your neck. Are you okay? Do you have like a fever? now I'm sick Now you think I'm sick I just had two tequila shots And rode here in the back of an Uber In the trunk

Oh get in the trunk Yeah Try to be that guy I'm always that guy You know you guys go ahead I like peed in the trunk Sick as shit In the trunk

Dude Feet on the ceiling God damn Haven't been recording For the last 75 minutes What's going on Hey look at mine Hey, something going on here.

They couldn't make podcasting any harder, honestly. They probably should make it harder. I was going to say, the amount of people who'd do it, you would think that it's the easiest thing ever. It's not looking good here, not going to lie. The single wave? Not good. Oh, single wave's fine.

Just blast in somebody's right ear the whole time they're listening to this. Jesus Christ. No, single will be fine. Sing will be fine, right, John? Right, right, right, right. I haven't hit a good ride, right, right in a while. Red, right. Daddy's on air.

He doesn't know what he's doing, but he's on air. I got a fake ass, baby. I'm on air. I got a fake ass. And inserts in my shoes that make me six, five, I'm on air. I got fake hair. Me. It's just me in one year.

I flirt a little too much. I'm on air. I might be an HR problem, but I'm on air. So they can't kick me off. I'm not indispensable because I'm on from 7 to 12 every day. Daddy's on air. Six through today. What's up, bitches?

I'm on air. I'm kicked up. Daddy's kicked up. Oh shit. One of these days I'm going to be working for Bleacher Report. What are these guys talking about?

Everything they say, I have no idea what they're talking about. No context kings. No context cats. Everything they say, I don't have any idea, no clue, but I like having them on in the backseat of the car because my fiancee says they just

sound like they're guys we know but we don't care what they're talking about. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Fonte's perfect Oh my God, that's perfect Perfect All right

We released an episode on Friday And we still doing Friday by the way I think so Still doing what You know what people say Friday

Oh I never No way bro I'm not a Friday guy Friday We're still got a lot In the clubhouse man So we've got a lot of

team these guys at gmail.com even though we're recording like three days after we released our last one so this is good from Joel camouflage jerseys says my local pop Warner football teams have the craziest jersey designs some of them still rock the Army digital

camouflage yeah some of them have a huge logo that sits off center on the rib cage slash chest not gonna lie it looks pretty sick but it is definitely not traditional. What are your thoughts? Slap my ass and call me Sally. I hate it when... I hate it when younger kids have cool uniforms because that's what I wanted and I never got it. So I'm just jealous of them really. Yeah, you haven't earned it yet. Kind of yeah. I hate to be that guy,

but like, yeah, it's true. But then the counter argument would be like, they're just boys. They're having fun. Let them have their fun. They're just kids. I'm like, yeah, but no. Yeah, that's the whole point. They're just kids. So throw him in a fucking mesh practice jersey that doesn't fit. It's so much cooler, too. In a bum-ass white helmet.

I'm like, your kid doesn't need to look like he's in the pros. He's 61 pounds. Yeah. He looks like a little bitch. Yeah. He doesn't need to look like Alvin Camara. Like, shut up, dude. Like, if I saw a kid, like, a fifth grader with like the turf tape, I'd be like, bro. Like, just score a touchdown first.

all of your helmets are six times too big with a visor i'm like you don't even know long division holding the ball vertically like wrapping yes holding the ball like a kid running the ball holding like a kid vertically with a visor and arm tape on fuck your mom and her being like he can be cool cooler jerseys than oregon so i'm like no no no He shouldn't be. Nah, you can't be cool until you're like in college.

And even then, depends what's going on. You can't be cool until you're good. How about that? True. V true. And you should have people telling you that too. I think that's fair.

You should have like people bullying you a little bit. Yeah, and I'm making your life better, but like, what did you do to get that? You know why Justin Jefferson can wear fucking six chains and grills and a little.

visor because he's the best receiver in the last eight years in the NFL. His first, we sound so dumb, but his first game rookie year, did he wear any of that? No. Because he had to, like, he had to prove himself, right? I would think so. And that works for everything, dude. Basketball, eight-year-old wearing a shooting sleeve. Me wearing, and that was me wearing a headband, during a game.

Sixth grade. Hey, playing like a bad team. I was like, I'm going to throw this one. I'm going to put that shit on Tuesday night, indie sports park. St. Rose of Lima? No, we're playing like Greenwood. Every time we played Greenwood, I was like, we're going to beat the shit of these guys.

Second Greenwood drop of the pod. Hey, what are they talking about? Too local, too local, too local. Let's go to Mrs. Curles after the game, too local. Playing Greenwood, dude. Let's go. My sister's dropping me off of the game, got no family at the game.

I might throw behind the back pass. Headband on second quarter of my dad pulls up goes like this Take it out I was like oh well I'm not going to score a point for the rest of the game Way to take the wind out of my sails But yeah that was that was my sleeve moment I think that's fair

But it goes for everything Baseball you don't need to have the big ass Oakley's that are legit with wrist tape And you gotta be cold Fucking black eye paint coming down your face. You're not Bryce Harper. You're 11 and like Ben said,

you weigh 72 pounds. I hate that. And you, your balls haven't dropped yet. One time I wore a sleeveless shirt. Like one of my sister's track meets. It's like fifth grade. My sister was like,

we bought you a shirt. You just, your arms are too tiny. You can't wear that shirt. And I was like, I was mad, but I was like, there.

See? Like, you got to get bullied. Polizzi sisters bully Politsi polizzi bullies me I bully my son That's a cycle of life And your dog's just got hit by a car

In the middle of the road Bottom of the total bull, man From Matthew Star Wars character or hockey player Can't wait to read this Deepie Dear Ben and Joey I wish I could come to your live show coming up

But I won't be able to Sorry daddy's on air I was going to say, like, damn. I emailed you guys a while back challenging two of you to name all the NHL teams, and I must say you did a great job. Really? That was fun. I was a little impressed with us.

Same. We were just, once we get, hey, the snowball got rolling down the hill and we were good. I have another challenge for Ben called Star Wars character or hockey player. And it's exactly what it sounds like. I know Joey's a fellow Star Wars fan, and so instead of participating, I think you should quiz Benny with the list provided below. Wow. Smack my ass with your top five Thanksgiving sides.

I love this guy. There you go. Next week. Next week, Daddy's on air. These guys on air with the Thanksgiving episode. Building in for my money. You like stuffing or you call it dressing. Get shot.

All right. Okay. Here we go. Star Wars character hockey player. Kirby Doc. It's got to be an old goalie, bro. I don't know what position he played, but he's hockey player. It's got a Kirby Doc.

That's a fake-ass name, dude. Are you going Kirby Doc? It's spelled D-A-C-H, and obviously I'm not, you know. Suck my dog. Suck my dog. Owen Lars. Gotta be a hockey player. That is Luke Skywalker's uncle.

This is a genius game. The Lars Homestead. He's the homeboy in the first movie who's getting on Luke because he's not, he's got to stay for the next farming season. He can't go off to the. No way, dude. He's a forward for the Red Wings. Lars again. Peck a Wren.

Gotta be Star Wars. Shut up. Shut up, dude. Hockey player. Yeah, hockey player. Is that what I said? He said Star Wars. Oh, my God.

I'm an idiot. Tobias Beckett Tobias sounded pretty out of this world hockey blur I'm just stuck with that you should have stuck with out of this world man Woody Harrelson plays him and Solo the origin story of Han Solo

he plays he's like his mentor plays for the flyers let's do two more please Ben Quadroneros Sick name Got to be a hockey player Quadreneros He's a pod racer in the Phantom Menace

I think he's a hockey player number four Quad Lars Eller I hate this Star Wars He's hockey player Think you went 0 for 5 All good

I think I did too Oh my God man Do people know about that game? What a game no Matthew just came up with it So Yeah like he said the Star Wars ones, I would have been fine, but hockey?

Not so much. This is from Sean. These guys podcast question is the subject. Thank you for being so descriptive. What's up, Balitzy and Bowie? Not a reminiscing podcast, but I'm wondering if you guys have any good stories from either grade school or high school of teachers just saying some super out-of-pocket shit. I also went to a Catholic grade school, and we had Wednesday morning Mass as a school.

I remember in seventh grade after the mass was over, my seventh grade teacher yelled at all the boys in our class for having our hands in our pockets and playing with our balls during the entire mess. I remember looking around at all my friends and trying so hard to not just lose it. Also, if they're supposed to sports podcasts, I would ask why the hell it seems like half the NFL has changed your uniform helmet designs over the past five to ten years. I think the old school NFL logos, uniforms slash helmet designs are almost all better than the new garbage of the teams are releasing now. As a Packers fan, I hope to God they never change anything about their combination, but it also seems inevitable. They eventually will. They already kind of started this year with the all-white winter warning uniforms. Not going to lie, those uniforms kind of go hard, but you can't change the classic Packers, green, and gold.

Of course, this isn't a sports podcast, so everyone wants to ask that question. Smack my ass with a Tyreek Stevenson jersey. I bought to troll all my friends who are depressed, lifeless Bears fans. Come to a live show in Milwaukee, Sean. Come to Indy. fly to indie it's only four and a half hour trip I think it's worth it

I promise no doubt it will be if you're like I don't I live far just fly just do it take a little step out it's gonna be an insane time

we're the only people that think exactly the way you do it's weird but it's just a thing but see on the 18th So the uniform thing, yeah, I don't think you have to worry about that. Like the Packers, the Steelers, the Giants, the Bears, teams like that,

they're always going to have the core. Like that is always going to be there with what you see is what you get. That's just how it's going to be. Now, will they add in little things like the color rush, like the Steelers with the all black? Yeah. Well, do they add in the winter warning? because that's all dollars, right? That's all going to the pro shop.

People want to get New Jersey's, new something. Still pretty classic, too. You know, the Packers were proud to pitch that one to the front office. They're like, yeah, yeah, I mean, win, win. Right, totally. Except for the middle strap on the Packers helmet, what would we, what happened? Yeah, I agree. It was, you know, don't really understand the reasoning there.

But we are seeing, and I saw, I think, a thread about this. something about how like we DMed about it the night what are you about say are you talking about you're talking about helmets and logos and stuff yeah was it the millennial thing or no we uh we we we were talking about somebody's helmet i can't remember maybe it maybe it wasn't you maybe it was my sister or something but no i think we were i think we were i can't remember i don't want to pull it up during the middle of the show but um it was i saw someone or somebody was like the Millennials and the NFL are winning because everything's going back to how it was when we were little kids. You know, we went through that era of all everybody trying out new things and trying to get kind of, they jumped the gun.

They jumped. It's like NFL teams went with, you know, when people in like 1984 would be like, what do you think the world's going to be like in 2004? I think we're going to have fun in cars. that's what NFL teams did from like 2004 until like 2013 even even longer yeah right the first thing that comes to mind is the Buccaneers uniforms like remember that before Brady like James Winston with a big ass logo on the helmet I was like this is not it all sorts of shit going on the Browns I hate to see it I love the Browns uniforms now because that's how they should be

they just look way better yeah but the Browns really I haven't like, ew, bro, like the letters on the pants, you guys are doing that? That was so bad. They had to know. It was like a darker orange then with a brown face mask, too, their helmets. It was like a matte dark orange. Yeah. With a brown face mask.

That's what it is. I hate matte helmets. It was cool for like two years just because it was something different. But now like the Broncos, I'm like, bro, get the gloss, baby. You know, you know that gloss looks way better. Get the gloss, man. We'll fucking put a little t-shirt Start a hashtag all this should get the gloss

The gloss is great Come on That is just so 1998 Fucking Broncos Falcons In the gloss A the lights on the stadium ceiling I always think about that When a team's playing and the lights

Are shredded off their helmet I'm like Playing at the Superdome in New Orleans They have the circle Think about you every time Oh A peach bowl Peach bowl

Maybe Talk to me. Talk to me. Yeah, I think it was a really sad, like the Falcons and the Broncos played this past weekend. Oh, no, they did. They did. And it was a really sad statement on what uniforms have done when you go the wrong way. They've got two of the worst. You go from 98, really shitty Super Bowl, but still that's like peak NFL when you have the L.A Broncos. The Jamal Anderson Falcons.

Hey, Chris Chandler. Chris Chandler, Falcons. That was the only game. I was like, yeah, this is going to be a blowout. Like, I was like 10, and I was like, Broncos are going to beat the shit. Yeah. Sorry. I love the Falcons.

Good story. But, hey, Cinderella's, hey, strikes midnight tonight. Where are you pulling for him? I was too young to really remember. Oh, really? I was like five or six. So I have like vague, like, in and out. Super Bowl party memories.

Mostly just like my dad's neighbor just housing Tostitos Salsa. What a guy. I was pulling for the Cardinals hard, or the Falcons hard. Yeah. The Broncos would beat the shit of the Steelers. I'm like, oh, my God.

Yeah. They're so good. I hate it. I kind of looks like their mascot. And that's what's happened with NFL uniforms. Yeah. So you go from that to where the Broncos and the Falcons are now.

and it honestly is. It's like it is like if in 2000, the year 2000, somebody was just like make an NFL movie about the year 2024. Somebody would be like,

well, the universe, I mean, it's got to be like futuristic. And they dial that up and you'd be like, you'd be watching it.

You'd be like, no, I don't want it to change. Don't go. Please. Go back to the now. That's what we're in with some teams.

But we're starting to slowly but surely, like you said, we're starting to see it come around, right? The lion's got to, fixed. The Browns got it fixed.

Burpy Boy on Wine. Oh, whoa. Wow. I think the dolphins might be coming around a little bit. The 49ers went, and the 49ers to their credit, went a long time ago. They had the Brandon Lloyd, Jeff Garcia, Terrell Owens era with the black, the black shadow. Love it. And the kind of, what was the copper and like maroon almost? Their colors. It was pretty dark, red. Yeah, and then they were like, actually, let's just go back to the pure just like Cardinal Red and Gold.

Very early, 49ers. Hey, I think you said this one time. This isn't the same thing, same subject. But how come some NFL teams, quarterbacks look like the mascot? John Elway and the Broncos. You can't tell me Peyton Manning does look like a horse, bro. That's why Peyton Manning couldn't go to any of the other teams

he recorded him in free agencies because he was just like. That was a contingency. Like, hey, you got to go to another team that has a horse too because you look like a horse. Yeah. Makes sense. Kurt Warner kind of looks like a Cardinal and you think about it. Or does he look like a ram? More of a ram.

Getting more of a ram from Kurt Warner. Yeah. Big Ben. It looks like a Steeler. Oh, my God. What's going on? Hey, let's keep going, bro. This is like cowherd.

Not a sports podcast. But Calhurt, he does have like a take kind of like this. Really? Yeah. Dude, they, but we're talking about the mascot, though. I know, but like it is. It looks like your city. Shut up.

You know, embrace the body the city. Bro, cut your dick off. Big Ben, looks like somebody you would work with in a steel mill. It's true, though, bro. It's cold. It's a blue-collar city. He's having beer. Yeah.

Why is Rich Gannon kind of look like a raider a little bit? Put an eye patch over him He's a mascot Brad Johnson Can't tell me he's not a bucking here You throw one of those pirate hats With the three prong on there Scurry

Um I don't want to stop Hey Tell me Michael Vick doesn't look like a falcon Hey Matt Hasselback back Back in the day You could have thrown his head He's flying above your grandma's palm

Damn it dude What My thing fucking This is ridiculous kills. Keep going. Keep going. All right.

All right. Doesn't know what to say. Just repeats the word four times. More teams. More teams. You can make a case for all of them. Why does it look like, why does it seem like Joe Montana? It should be just flying a jet.

Wrong guy. Joe, Joe Namath. There we go. We're back. Joe Namath. Yeah, that's a good one. It looks like a four. fighter pilot.

It's like a jet pilot. I don't think we're going to top L.A. and Manning, though. I can't think of it. I know there's a couple more. I was about to say Favre with the Packers, but still not really sure what a Packer is, but I think that's kind of more of the cowherd.

He's a guy that would wear Wrangler Blue Jeans, show up at your tailgate, drink six beers, and have a whole bunch of fucking cheese skirts. And at the tailgate, you'd be like, I think Dad's kind of shitty at Mom because she's kind of talking that guy a little too much.

Oh, wait. Why is mom talking to that guy? Do they like work together? Dad had white knuckles on the steering wheel after the tailgate because mom was talking to that guy in the Wrangler. He's a little too much. I haven't seen Dad in two weeks. Dan Marino, though, coming in and out of the water?

Come on. Dan Rayno brought up for the last 15 podcasts in a row. We need a stat guy. We have the time stamp with the Christmas. We need a name ticker. Just put a montage together. Monotage together, 45 seconds. All the times we say far from Marina.

Marino. Marino. Dude, I forgot. I know you're busy with shit. I forgot to fucking send you, but we're at this place in Pittsburgh on the south side called Zeds. It's like their version of Nap Town Thrift. Like it's a vintage.

Dude. Tommy Maddox jersey. Drew Bletsso Patriots. What? Like the 97 Drew Bletso Patriots. They have a website? They do. I don't know why I didn't buy them.

I was like, is it worth it for the bit? Yeah. Rai was right there. My mom was like siding with her. I was like, ah, it's, wow. Hey, that's a boys' trip purchase right there.

Yeah, but it was pretty unbelievable. Maddox? We just wear them every episode. Me and the Maddox. Yeah, what are we doing? Hey, was it a white, white Maddox? Black. This is from Burpee Girl Shiona.

Wow. I love you, burpy girl. Whoa. She just sent yesterday, Sunday. Subject line, holiday season joy. And then this, the email on all caps, Steelers. So I think she was just excited for me. possibly yes

with the big win the big win yesterday to go to 8 and 2 you love a fan baby uh that's from Stephen subject line Howie Long Perfect Just sends it in crick Beats is perfect

What Sean Oh man It's an encrypted link I click on it Could have been that dude Sitting on the end of bed with this dong just hanging out but it no it's just howie long ain't no dong it's

howie long howie dong hey set it as your wallpaper right now porn name porn name howie long nice no no dude howie dong howie long might be like uh should just go to ogy it might be better but howie dong just the dong just hits funny i'm typing that in the night howie dong just just Just what his highlights come up I'm like oh hell yeah Dun dun da-na-na-na Well there's a double life plays football as Howie Long

Does adult films No one's no No one figured it out yet All he did is just take his glasses off From the films He puts his hair down Oh wait I've never seen him without a flat top

Dude he was born with a flat Howie Long was born at a flat top Dude you could You can rest your drink on top You could build a skyscraper on Howie Long's head. Yep, it's not tilting. We're good. Go ahead.

Holiday party just set your glass of wine on top of the Howard. Oh, God. I can't. I got a... Right on Howie Long's head. Thank you. Dude, you can chop carrots on his head. Oh, yeah.

Cutting board. Howie Long? Dude, that's... He should come up with his own cutting board. Hey, his own... Hey, I got a new idea. I'm going to sell level. Howie Long

Kramer Oh he did Yeah That's what you're doing Oh no I was getting rid of all the furniture His apartment In his apartment

He's just building levels Like a level that you like Make sure the picture is straight Howie Long just How do you make sure they're even He's like Give me Pass me my Howie

Bubbles right in the middle every time Howie long serving trays you come out to party you're just holding his neck it's got a little fucking oh it's just his head ha ha ha oh wow

it's just got it just has fucking just uh just uh little meatballs every cutting board pig's in a blanket just on your counter all day pigs in a blanket on there

he has a switch on there too like a feature where like when you do set something on it if you turn it on it just starts playing the NFL on Fox thing Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dha. Howie Long TV stands, just in your living room on the ground.

I got a Terry Bradshaw on. Put your TV on it. Howie Long. Howie Long TV? Dude, he's missing... Howie Long coffee table! He's missing out on the whole business. You had coasters, Steelers, coasters.

At your feet on Howie Long's head. Howie Long's head? He's long, Ottoman, yeah. so much. I know he's got Skechers in NFL and Fox. Nah, dude, Howie Long Coffee tables and Cutting Boat. Your mom unwrapped it for Christmas. Level Finder.

Got you new cutting board, mom. Just unopens Howie Long's head. Imagine a Super Bowl party. You're serving appetizers on Howie Long's head and then watching a TV on Howie Long's flat top. It's honestly, that's the clubhouse furniture. You sell it as

a flat top for your flat top. a flat top for your flat screen who's not buying that like in every guy's basement you know biggest fucking smile on too just so square just trying to think what else needs to be straight right

it's the end of the bit what how long ice scraper in the winter getting the ice off your fucking windshield it comes to a point God, where's my ice scraper? Here it is. Alley Long's head on your windshield.

Just doing a bang up, hot, hot, hot. Every time you move it, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. That's too good. Just a strong. What did the inside of his helmet look like? Couldn't have been a circle in his helmet, you know? Just his helmet's a square when he played.

Pretty much. Dude has had that forever From Ball Like I'm Kobe Subject line Paul Kruger Send a screenshot of a tweet Just saw this gatorade towel

My boy's bathroom Was a hand towel This guy knows ball Wow Yeah I got that Okay Insane That's something that's so classic

Like I just So guy So college guy apartment so baseball house that's so my apartment right now hey the pink breast cancer ones

kind of cool switch it out just for October wow that's some real interior decorating right there hey it's October babe everything's pink you just like don't do anything to your house

like you don't do like there's no decorations there's no style what do you mean I'd change my hand towels in the bathroom from white to pink in October Howie Long's hair's pink now on the coffee table What are you talking about? Yeah, just every,

every time you go outside and it's cold, you put on pink breast cancer gloves or? What, babe? We're going to be the pumpkin patch. Can you just not? I'm like, it's October. Breast cancer awareness. Everything's pink that you wear.

You don't even like that color. Hey, it's October. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. Pink sunglasses, pink shoes everywhere. Like, if I walked in, I saw a Gatorade towel, it would get like a,

Nice. It would get one of those. For sure. Because that's a good towel, man. Yeah. I mean, it's drying up, you know? Always on Cam Newton's head. That towel.

Always. Every time you got off the field, see, I would have done that. I would have done that if I was like an eighth grade. I'm going to put a towel on my head like Camden. So I'm wearing a hat. Way cool. And it's like more accessible.

We got towels. Mm-hmm. Put that on my head. I'm going to yell that by my dad, but let me put it on my head. The story of my life is just like wanting to do that shit from, the time I was eight to the time I was like last year but still

but like it just it never looks the same it's like it's like trying to make a big Mac at home you know you're like you know so true I have all the things this should work but it just doesn't mm-mm this looks weird yeah fuck all right

hat on the sidelines 12 hats didn't fit my head until like last year it was like trucker I was like like a trucker yeah they still don't fit my head, but for the opposite reason. The biggest head in the world. Like, why I look like one of those

cartoon characters that just sits right on the very top and has like a propeller on it? I don't ever notice. If that's, uh, I know you don't care. Thanks, but it's just because I get giant fucking... Never notice. If you didn't tell me, I would never notice. Thanks, dude. All right, last one here from

Grayson. But you told me so I noticed all the time. Good. Ed Oliver, Paul George. Same guy. Whoa. Good afternoon, gents. First time emailing. Be fan of the show since episode one.

Oh, thanks, Grayson. Thanks for... Rocking. Joey, great job in Buffalo. My girlfriend and I were laughing her asses off. Oh, thanks. Sorry, Benny. Couldn't make it to your Buffalo show.

Too busy working night shift and construction management. Daddy's on air. Yeah, I was the poor kid. Not really, but same tendencies as one. We were friends. We're friends. You get the show, man.

You know, that's good for you. I've got a question for you guys. Is there any event sporting or non-sporting, because it's not a sports podcast, that you guys just can't get into? Great question. Mine is UFC. I've got some friends that are super into it

and know all the names of the fighters and invite me over for Saturday night pay-per-view, but I just can't keep up. I was wondering if you guys had any similar sentiments about anything. Slap my ass with a 2010 Navy-blue mesh Stevie Johnson Bill's jersey until I can correctly name

all of Ryan Fitzpatrick's team. in chronological order. That's a good one. Best wish is Grayson. What a great email. Great email. Stevie Johnson was really good, dude. Number 13.

Thanks for coming to my Shia. Buffalo was awesome. Yeah, dude. Stevie Johnson was cold. He was. For like three years, I was like, how is no one like, we need to make more of a bigger deal about this guy? Just so classic.

Big helmet. He's really good, but like, imagine what he'd be if he had like a real quarterback. Because that was way before Buffalo had Josh Allen. Who was Buffalo's quarterback before Josh Allen? Who wasn't Buffalo's quarterback before Josh Allen? Oh, he's one of those. You know, tried everybody, bring it, you know. J.

Manuel. Oh, that's a sad story. I wanted E.J. Manuel to be a dog. So good on the game. So good at Florida State, too. Three. I was like, that was like, Floor State Clemsonsons playing.

Yeah, game days there. E.J. Manuel? Brose such a FSU court. quarterback. Dun, dun da, dun, dun,

dun, dun, that's USC. Okay. Okay. Best thing Steve Johnson ever did,

drop that touchdown against Steelers in 2010. That would won the game. NASFords podcast.

Okay. Still need a minute. Minute update. Still need a minute. You don't see right now, but still need a

yeah. Great, very timely question with all the fights that happened over the weekend. And, man, maybe this is why you listen to us.

One of the reasons why you listen to us and follow us, Grayson, is because you were right on par with me in that. The fighting thing, man. I just, I don't, it's never clicked with me. I'll watch it just if everybody else is, but I don't get it. I kind of feel like it's something that they're like paying everyone to put it on their, I put on Sports Center. Yeah.

I'm like, how do you guys, how could you possibly? know who this UFC fighter is. UFC 349. This guy and this guy I'm like and people know who they are. And they care? I don't want to be that guy. I know they worked hard and they're on pay-per-view. They must have done a lot of hard work and they're good. But I'm like, how would you

ever know? I don't know one, bro. No, and the boxing is even worse because like UFC at least if you do tune in or buy it, you're like, yeah, chances are I'm probably going to get like some pretty raucous shit like they're you know there's going to be blood like literally

this is going to be a fucking street cage fight so I tip my cap to that but with boxing you know like this Tyson Paul thing I'm it is so maybe this could be the minute like but it's just

so clock it bit baffling and mind numbing to me that every time one of these things happen it's the same fucking cycle all the hype, all the promo, they fucking, something happens at the way in, somebody hits one another

or somebody's talking shit, their guys start fighting, whatever, well, this is gonna be a movie, popcorn emojis, i emojis, oh my God, can't believe it.

You ready for this fight tonight? Who's watching the fight? You guys watching the fight? Well, for the first time ever, this, this, on this fucking new streaming thing, whatever's getting together, dude.

You come over for the fight, you know, it doesn't start until fucking 1.30 in the morning. That's insane. That was crazy. Every single time, no matter what it is. I can't believe that's legal.

So then that happens. And then inevitably, every fucking time the fight sucks, they don't do anything. They just fucking sit there with each other and spar or whatever the fuck for 15 rounds. And everybody just like, you know, watching it. And then afterwards, then everybody's just like, man. That sucked. That sucked. I paid for that.

Man, what? They walked away. Man, we got duped, man. They walked away at $20 million. Yeah, because the same fucking thing happened six years ago with Pachiao and fucking Mayweather, dude. But there's been like 10 in between that. that I'm like,

bro, it's honestly the same thing. The only thing I'm watching that is Rocky. If you want to watch boxing, watch the fucking Rocky movies, dude. It's so true. Like,

but honestly, what kills me more, like, if I was those guys, I'd fucking be in on it too, and I'd make $40 million in a night because all our dumbasses and all these social media accounts,

everybody hypes it up so much. And then you watch it, you know, barely hang on because it starts at one in the morning and then you watch it and you're like, man, why did they even watch that?

That sucked. That wasn't exciting at all. Can't believe that they just robbed us for $20 million. Yeah, dude. Like, that's never happened before. It is every time. It's so true.

But I'm not going to lie, I kind of fall for it every time too. I never do, dude. I'm always kind of like, you know, what if Tyson just went crazy and, like, actually beat the hell out of them? See, and this is where it's backwards

because, you know, I'm like you when it comes like the NFL. I'm just like, then I'll fucking see it. on Instagram when I wake up at 7. Right. Yeah. I don't know. So that's never been a thing for me. Even in like high school and college when I was single, no responsibilities, it was just about hanging with the boys or whatever. If people were to get together for the fights, I was like, one, I'm not chipping in for it. Two, don't give a fuck.

So true. I mean, I'd rather watch a replay of the full game of the 2010 Steelers Ravens game than. than that bullshit. What team do you like again? So that's my answer. I can't really get into UFC. If it's on, that's cool. People go crazy. They usually have money on it.

That's why they're into it. And boxing to it, big gambling. I've never, I never bet on games. That would be, I don't know how somebody hasn't reached out to you from a much, maybe they have. I don't know, I don't know your business, but like a sports book.

It's just like, hey, we've been following you. We know you don't know jack shit, but we think it'd be funny if you did. I would love that. And you'd, like, walk through your bets and you just, like, give the reasons of why, your fuck-ass reasons of why you bet what you did. I think that would work. I'm down, dude. Soccer, kind of.

I like, I like watching, like, soccer in the Olympics, but I'm always like, I can't watch this. See, I'm such a classic week, every four years in the World Cup comes around. I'm like buying a Vivisuela Vuzali and like fucking painting my face I'm so into it I know I'm into it too but I can't watch it I'm like what happened in the game

The four years in between I'm just like Soccer never heard of her Soccer I hardly know her Goals Not anymore with hockey though dude I'm full in man Penguins hook me up up, you know, I'm riding, I'm going.

I'm in. Won't watch another game all season. Nope. Doesn't know one position. Hell no, dude. Is that the receiver? Yeah, but the fighting thing for me is just never, just never, never been a part of my life.

I remember when my first, like, real girlfriends I had. Whoa, real one. Like, you know, when it's, you know, high school and, like her dad and all of her. You know, her family. Yeah. Her dad and her, like, uncles and shit all the fucking get together for the fights. I think they might get into.

Fight! Yeah, and I was just like, I don't know, man. I don't know anything. Don't know. I don't know. Feel so dumb when you have to go to an event like that. I have no idea what's going on. Just have fun.

That's what girls feel like around us. Just at a bar. I have Buffalo Wildlings watching UFC. Like, I guess I'll just be. on my phone. Are you okay? Are you mad? No, no, no.

I'm just like chilling. Yeah, I'm just tired. Scrolling your phone. Oh, boy. Everything on your phone is what's happening on the TV? What am I doing? What's he doing over there?

I don't know. He's just like swiping through Howie Long pictures. He said something about like a business idea of howie long. He won't shut up about cutting boards. He just bought. a domain called flattops.com.

How is it even available? I don't know. He's making a Squarespace website right now. He's designing it. Howie's tops.com. Longtops.com. All along diving board. High along at a pool.

Goggles on. Pink ones, though, because it's talked over. God damn it. It's so stupid. Just imagine running off of a highway long diving board for your first time at the pool. Everybody's watching. Do a flip off the side. It'd be perfect because you know how diving boards kind of have like, like they're not like smooth. And then kind of a little bit.

It's like that's how the top of his spiky hair would be. Feels kind of good on your feet. Hey, this on a howie long diving board. Kind of feels good. All right. We're getting delusional here. Or? Is this the sharpest we've ever been?

Yeah, I know. That's what's coming on the 18th, December 18th. Helium Comedy Club. Howie Long Talk. What's our podcast about Howie Long? And that's all you say. Babe, we're going to do some business. We're going to hear these guys talk about business ideas.

It's good for our company. What's it about? It's just about this guy named Howie Long's flat tops. Pull up in a Howie Long jersey, bro. Somebody. Please do. Tickets on sale, been on sale. And the description for this show, these shows are bios as well, my bio, but Ben's website.

Yeah, these guys clubhouse on YouTube, subscribe, watch us, share it with your friends, throw it up at work at the house while you're cooking, and wear cleaning while you're leveling something on a wall thinking of how long Oh man, every time. And yeah, anything else? That's it, man, I think. Yeah, come to the shows, get the tickies. Phoenix, December 5th, coming up, December 18th, these guys, indie.

Can't wait to see you for real. For real, for real. Kind of a dream come true. Yep, a long time coming. Yeah, next week, Thanksgiving episode, hey now, one of the favorites of these guys every year. Top five sides. Daddy's on air. Daddy's on air. Daddy's on air. Daddy's talking about, Daddy's talking about banana pudding. Is that a Thanksgiving dessert? I don't know. Daddy's on air.

Daddy's got a fat ass. Daddy's got a fat ass. A smooth jawline. Oh, shit. All right, yep, that's next week. All right. Talk to you. These guys. These guys. as well. Wayne Krabet.