THESE GUYS! - The "BIG GAME" Sunday

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

A mascot could shoot me with a shotgun. I'd be like, Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, yes. Yes. City boy! Yes. Yeah, she's got a little bigger cans, huh?

You see the cans on the... Bro, that's funny as fucked me. It's better than tits. You see those tits? Hey, jugs. Dude, when people say boobs, I get weirded out, you know? Jugs and cans are funny. Tits is so aggressive.

I said if you're like, oh, okay, you're gonna try to give her one more drink. Nice tits. You're gross. These guys, 20. Oh, we've done 20 of these things. Bro, you're gonna shit yourself and you see what I have on under this. What? Show the camera.

What? I, oh my God, story time. This is like a chromed out Miami Red Hawks, big Ben jersey. Some dude was like, so you guys like the Steelers, I listen to these guys. Oh, what's your address? And I was like, really? No, I'm kidding. I was going to slap the fuck out of me. I was going to say, geez, that guy really hates me.

Yeah, so I just took it. It's mine. Oh, no, it's my homie, Derek's. I was like, do you have a football jersey that I can, like, borrow for, like, a video? And he's like, yeah, I'll dig one out. And it was fucking this one. I was like, Derek James? Yeah, bro.

He's like, I just bought, like, two jerseys one time in college. And the other one's, like, a Ledaniian. Tomlinson white which they go so fucking hard. La Danny Thompson and TCU. Dude, I've been waiting like three weeks to wear this. Dude, I've never, I've seen people have worn like, you know, the bright red Miami Red Hawks. I've seen even a white version that has the red trim, but this is a special. That's got to be like a one of one.

I knew. I knew you were going to freak the fuck out. Dude, ask Derek how much he wants for that. I will pay. It's so sports fanatics, honestly. It looks like, yeah, it's sports fanatics, but it's also looks like it's... We don't want to put it on? No.

Yeah, you do? Yes, no of all times. No, not me. No, no, no, no. No, I appreciate the offer. At least if I slide it on, then I'll just like, I'll just want it. It looks like, it looks like it would be in like a movie like Gritiron Gang, you know? The sports fanatic one, yeah, it's what it looks like.

The sports fanatic. The special ones I come out with before Christmas and you're like, Dad. Well, that, but do you remember right before sports fanatics closed? Sad day. Sad day. But right before it closed, they had all the lines of the movies and TV shows. So like every movie TV show that have to do with football, they had like the authentic ones.

So my parents got me a Bobby Boucher authentic one for my birthday. They had like Boobie Miles from Friday Night Lights. They had like Tim Riggins from the other Friday night. lights list goes on. That's what this looks like. Yeah, dude. That's incredible. Wow.

You should have told me we're doing that for the Super Bowl show. I had to surprise you, bro. The whole time you're like, well, you could have just been like, hey, we're something like football. I've been like, okay. Duh. What are you doing for the Super Bowl, bro? Can't tell you. Come on.

No, I can't tell you. Why? Because it's too early in the week. Oh, yeah. Tell me, like, tell me 10 minutes after kickoff. Tell me in the third quarter, I'll be there. no, there's nothing crazy. I just at my house,

having a few people over probably. Okay, I won't be there. I didn't even invited you, bro. I said people. I didn't say you. I was just telling you I won't be there. So, yeah,

it's good. Dude, I'm not burpee boy. I'm throw up boy right now. Oh, you're, okay. I love you. Yeah, dude, last night. I love you.

Okay. So yeah, you text me. You're like, Ben texting me on Monday morning and was like, yeah, man, I'm sick as hell. And in my mind, I don't know why immediately I just thought, no, it's probably like a like a strep throat situation, like a COVID strep throat situation. I don't know why. I don't see you being like puky boy. I was, dude, I was, I hit a hard like nine like, like big ones last night, bro. And I was kind of skating how you're kind of scared to throw up. Yeah. Isn't that weird?

It's a weird adrenaline rush right before. You're like, what the fuck? And like, and then, but once you throw up once, you're like, I got to keep, I got to keep going, bro. Don't ever want to stop. Keep ripping. It makes you feel so much better. But at the same time I had to shit. So I was like rotating.

Dude, that was one of those nights. Sleeping on the bathroom floor. Oh, on the mat. It kind of feels good, though, and you're sick. You're like, I'd rather be nowhere else. Did you bring a pillow in? I had my blanket. Okay.

So you got curled up with the blanket. Like 75 times from my room to the bathroom with the blanket. Oh, man. Did you eat something? Dude, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, it was one of those. Went to the Pacers game last night.

It's having the best night. It's just one of those nights, nothing to do. Homie took me to the Pacers game. We went for a sec. After Swung by Whole Foods, I was like, I'm just going to get some salmon, some salad, little wine maybe. Just one of those chill nights. Dude, I picked the wrong salmon.

It was called candy salmon. I was just like, I was just like, yeah, I'm going to try something new. And I was like, why is it called candy salmon? They're like,

oh, we like slap it around some molasses before we. Like, that's how they marinated it. And I was like, all right, all right.

Sounds good. Fuck it. I'll try it. Bro. That thing ruined my life. Damn. The way you started that off, I was like,

okay, he at the Pacers game, broke down and had a hot dog and a couple of beers and it just totally messed up his system. So you went, you got healthy shit. It's still messed up.

It's so bad. And you know, I slid to the Pacers game in the third quarter. I didn't have, it was already last call when I got there. So your friend invited you to the Pacers game. You showed up in the third quarter. Came started out five, got there at 630. Why? Like, how?

You just lost track of time? No, I just had shit going on. I was like, I'm going to be late, bro. They were like free tickets and shit, you know. But he was just there by himself? I was like, this is perfect. who was it? Tom Young

Oh shit He's like bro Because we like went to a Pacer's game Like not too like long ago And it was just like a fun time It was real like low key We like sat up in the nosebleeds And just like talk to it like you know

It was just chilling At a game At a game So it was the same shit I was like there's no pressure We're not like Pacers fans Although I kind of wish I was now Dude they're kind of

Pacers are cool Bro the Pacers Stadium is lit It is What the fuck is going on? Pacer's games are fun as hell They're way more fun than Colts games Bro every mascot the NBA was there.

Seriously. It was Boomer's birthday. I was like, this is the best day of my life. It was a mascot birthday party. I just like, look till my left and like the heat fucking big orange guy was like climbing up the side of a suite.

I was like, how come mascots can just do whatever the fuck they want during the game? I'm surprised that there hasn't been like a mascot that's done something totally awful. Has somebody ever beat the shit in the mascot? Just to try to see how far they can go, you know, push the line. They do though.

Just fucking, I don't know. And everybody's just like, it wouldn't even matter. Boom, are you son of a bitch? A mascot could shoot me with a shotgun. I'd be like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's scoping.

Bloody ass hands. Just think everything's part of the bit. Yeah. Part of the mascot bit. He's literally killing people in the crowd. I'm like, he's hilarious. Those big ass boomer hands. Just clapping people's heads.

Ah! Must be a prop. Right? Like everybody's still so afraid to say anything because I like don't want the kids. to be traumatized. So he's beating the shit out of some guy and they're like, don't traumatize. The kids can't know

it's a real person in there. Right, buddy? Isn't that hilarious? Bro. The Denver Nuggets and mascot went in front of this dude that was sitting here and went like this

and started picking his ass right in front of his face. And the guy just had to take it. He was like, he was like, bro. They can get away with a murder, bro. Dude, you should be a mascot. I know.

You should. Oh, my God. Would that be funny, though? Your ass. So what do you do? Purdue. What do you do? What do you do?

I'm like, um, I'm, uh, with the Pacers. Oh, yeah. And what? Uh, just the entertainment department, uh, entertainment and, um, and, uh, group, group events. Oh, that's, that's, that opens up your closet in your room. There's just like four boomer costumes. Not even the costumes, just the head. Just the, the different heads just staring at.

A girl would probably like that. Or would she not. depends on what that salary is. Dude, I think boomer's kind of up there. I fucked around and looked up like the mascot salaries. Burpy boy. I love you, burpy boy. Whoa.

You beat me to burpee boy here. This is wild. Dude, I've been. Monumental episode. If I let it rip, dude, it's not going to be a burp. I'm going to fucking puke all over the table. Melasses. Yeah, I haven't eaten anything since then.

Melassasas sounds just horrible in. general. I don't know why, but I was just like, you know what, let's just do it. Dude, you, you ever, if you ever refer to us slower than molasses, you ever hear that saying about like a player back in the day? Slower than molasses. You're like, damn. Like, am I? Group of coaches. We're out here just fucking railing us with like insults. Group of coaches is like breaking down the roster, like trying to figure out who could go where, what position and everything. You're like, how about the shoal ties? like, I can't put him there.

He's slower the molasses. You're like, shit. I'll never forget one time my coach called me Haas. That's got to be good, right? No, bro. Haas is only good when like a waiter is saying that to you.

Hey, what's up, Haas? Dude, Haas is like an overweight person. What's going on, hossie, boy? Smacking it and all your fucking fat places and shit. What's up with Husky? Husky.

Husky's pretty tough, too, dude. It's just a better way to call somebody like, you're chubby as fuck. Right. But you're a chubby kid husky. Oh, yeah. Make him sound a little... He's a little husky fella.

Yeah, make him sound a little rugged. Rugged is good though. Oh, yeah. It's just the change up, you know? He's got, you just show them out. Right. Those soft disses that people have to do. The back end of combo.

He's got husky, right? Right. Yeah. That's a chubby kid, right? Yeah, he's a little husky. Oh, okay. That's acceptable. Dude, I was a two striper over the weight limit.

and we were talking about something me and this coach and I was like, let me run the ball. He goes, hell no, you're a hoss. I was like, Jesus fucking Christ.

Worse here, my life in football. Double striper. Oh, yeah. I was like, can I quit? Stupidest rule ever.

Me jumping off sides 14 times a game. Fuck. Your ass would be like. Oh! It's literally the center. Best friend's hands in my ass for a year. How weird is that?

How weird is that? I'm like, can we go shotgun? this is so wild dude I played center too because and literally you want to know how they decided to have me

play center they just it was like it was a hand measuring contest really? They just went around they're like

all right who's got big hands and I was like I think I do fifth grade so we went it was like me and three other kids and we literally did this shit

you know like the flirty fucking yeah don't do that to me I just fell in like anytime any girls ever let me see how that your hand is

I'm like this is like two seconds right you just automatically I know I'm like I love you want to go to Starbucks tomorrow but it's literally what we did bro and they were like all right Molinaro you got those halls fans

that felt so good I'm still thinking about the fucking hand thing you got soft hands bro dude the yeah that was such a giveaway though you know like the hand thing the girl steal the hat thing you know what's happening to me a lot now that I like I think it's wrong.

Dude, when a nurse, you're giving blood and a nurse is like, oh my God, your veins. That's happened to me almost every time I go to fucking do anything at the doctor. I was like, can we keep it PG in here? Oh my God, your veins are like, yeah, all right. So we have wine after this? All right, so Cabernet at my place? This is kind of fucking overboard.

Like, you're 63, but. You give him blow a lot? What's up? Huh? You giving blood a lot? No, I just had to get my levels checked the other. And I was like, okay, fuck it, let's do it. What, do I have to do?

Scary shit ever. What, getting your blood drawn? I'm just like, what? It's so dark. Levels checked? I'm like, what am I a fucking 05 Mitsubishi? Had some wiper fluid in my fucking mouth. Is it like Madden where you're like create a roster?

Yeah, check in. It has a worst game, you know, so my speed goes down a little bit. We got to get a toggle up. Let's toggle to an 84. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your agility is down to a 72. So we're going to want to bump that up. I'm like, what, it levels.

What the hell is that? Like to make sure, like, when you take, like, medicine and stuff, they have to make sure, like, you're good to take it. You know what I mean? No. Like, can you take this medicine if you take it? Are you going to, is your body going to like, that's why they check your levels?

I think. So I got to take a, since I have my hair, I got to take a pill every single day so it all stays in my head. Do you have one of those? It's a lot going on up here, bro. That was the thing I was getting checked for. I was like, so can I keep taking this? Like, I need a refill.

They're like, let's check your levels. So they draw my blood and make sure it's all good. Then they, like, write me a script at Costco. It's a lot of insider info. But Costco's the fucking move, bro, for pharmacy. Really? Yeah. This is like some old-ass shit to talk about.

But Costco's the move. I don't even know they had a pharmacy. Bro. They got it all. Have you ever been in a Costco? You walk in a Costco. you're like, all right, see on Tuesday. I'll be in here the whole fucking week.

Yeah, you got to schedule out. You got to block out like two hours at least when you're going to Costco. Yeah, that's sure they do have everything. Literally has like a concession stand in there. The samples. It's just Sam's Club, right? Did you go to Sam's Club as a kid? Ever?

I was never rich. You're in a Sam's Club fan? I don't know. We definitely weren't either, but my mom had like a, had the little card, bro. Yeah. It is just Sam's Club. was so weird. I was like, who needs this much Raisin Brin? Every friend's house

that you went to that, like, you open up their pantry and they had a giant like cardboard box of goldfish. Oh. That big ass club. Jesus. All right. The big one? Yeah, dude. They have a giant thing of that. A huge tub of cheese

balls, puffy cheese balls. Instead of just like one box of the regular size of granola bars, there'd be like six extra large boxes. There was that double-sized granola bar. I'm like, what magical fairyland is this?

Who you guys feed, bro? Yeah, people's like pantries at their houses were insane. Just every Pop-Tart flavor. I was like, you guys are so fucking spoiled. Your pantry is lit too.

Yeah, mine was good. It still is pretty good. Your parents' house? But then... I just had to look. Right when I go to your mom and dads, I'm like, that's what I do every time too,

because I'm like, yeah, it's probably a little intimate donut in here. It's like the weird. it's like 5.15 on Sunday. Dude, I've already eaten dinner for show. That's dessert. A little mini one, pop two of those bitches. They just have candy everywhere. Oh, yeah. Peanut Eminem's.

I did something at your parents' house and I like warmed something up with like a cookie, bro. Oh, yeah. I remember that. That was the best time of my life. Yeah, you turn that into your own shit and put like icing on it and stuff. You're like, do you guys have any icing? I was asking that kind of shit. Of course. So comfortable at your house.

So where's the icing? Of course, my mom, Leo, they have like, six different things of icing for what i don't know just to have it dude those friends houses though that you'd go to where you'd open up the pantry or like you're you know you they'd be like you guys want to eat what do you want to eat and you'd be like yeah we can go good so you want something man you're like sure go down there open up the pantry it's nothing but just like canned goods and fucking noodles that's my house dude my house is the house that was like dude he doesn't have any food i think my parents said on purpose because my friends like i've had i'd have

three friends over and they'd just smash all the food. Yeah. Like I got to a point where I'd like hide all the good food in my pantry. It was like fuck Drew's coming over bro. Hide like all the Gatorade. So they'll just rip through it. So like the best thing I had at my house was like peas. Dude, I hated that. I was that guy. You opened up the fridge too and there's just nothing. The most every sort of condiment that you could want, nothing to put the condiments on. Nothing. Like what are we doing here? We might have had like a bowl of like cut up watermelon. was like the best thing. Then like some eggs, maybe.

I don't remember what I ate grown up. You had to get pretty creative at those friends' houses, though. So sometimes you'd always like somehow find you, be like, I guess I'll have this like ravioli with, you know. Oh, like late night shit? Yeah, like I'll have ravioli. I'll throw some cheese in there here, like a cheese slice. Like, I don't know if this bread's moldy or not, but I'll toast it, put some butter on

it. Yeah, whatever, that'll work. It was always my friends bringing over like bags of Taco Bell and shit. Like on the way. Or we just beg my mom for pizza. Well, I was going to say, see, I'm talking about when it's like you're not,

it's not high school or college, you know, it's like you're 11 years old. So when you're just at your friend's house, I mean, you're at the mercy of their shit. Dude, they got that second fridge,

some of those houses. I have the second fridge with all, like the mountain dude. I'm like, damn, we're just constantly having a party at this house. What? Sun Kiss?

I haven't seen this shit since 2010. It's Super Bowl Sunday every week here for you guys? Dude, the friends that had the walk-in closet pantries? Like, you wouldn't just open that shit up and there'd be, you know, there'd be levels to it. You would open it up and take steps into their pantry. But half the shit in the closet was like pointless. It was like brooms and trash bags. No, man.

I'm not the friends I'm talking about. You go in there and be like one wall would be like, Laze chips. Pop-tarts, granola bars. the kind of pastry shit. You'd look over to this wall, it'd be like gushers, fruit roll-ups,

fruit by the foot, blue Gatorade's. You look over here, you'd have every sort of lace chips with like boxes of, like, tachitos to go warm up or whatever. Like,

man, yeah. We got to have sleep over here every week. Yeah, if you see gushers or any, like, box like that in a closet, yeah, that's your best friend.

Yeah. The, The gusher house. Gushers were, that little paper package. That's the best part. Just because it was different than all the other ones. Yeah, you're like, ooh, this is like a... This feels a little more luxurious gushers, bro.

Bro, you didn't want the gusher's to be super soft to where as soon as you, you know, bit down on it. You want a little bit of that. You want to throw three of them in there and you were like... I want to chew on them for 15 minutes. Give me that. I just fucking work out my jaw. Give me some old-ass gut. that stroke

that stroke oh man so what do you think you're going to do you think you're going to do anything for the Super Bowl though I have no idea are you going to your dad's no clue

I'll probably decide day of yeah whoever peer pressures me the most that the Super Bowl during the day like Super Bowl Sunday during the day

damn might be in like top five days it's up there it's a very interesting energy that's going on Yeah. You know, like you walk by somebody on the street and you're like, I wonder he's watching. What are they having to that party? Or just like some random person here.

Is he watching the game of that? Dude, it's kind of. Who's his money on? It's kind of. You know, Chiefs? It's kind of hype a shit. He's got a hype of shit too to go into the grocery store like 1030 a. Yo, that, that no busier time at the store than Super Bowl Sunday.

10.30 a.m. on Super Bowl Sunday. I mean, it's on. everybody in there's on the same page. You're grabbing whatever left that you need or maybe you need the full funxway that you still got to give that you forgot to get. But damn,

the energy in that building on Super Bowl Sunday when you're like, oh, you're thinking your head, you're like, I'm going to go home. It's going to be 11.

There's already going to be pregame on. Pregame starts like now for the Super Bowl, doesn't it? It's already on. That's what I'm saying. There's like a ticker in the corner. It's just like seven days, 19 hours and three minutes of the Super Bowl.

I'm like, yes. But that one where it's like 1030 or 11, you're like in your head. You're like, Terry Bradshaw is talking about the game right now. It feels good to know that. It's comforting. It's crazy. Like, Howie Long's talking about the Eagles. Like, while I'm just at Kroger, like, looking at like chicklets and shit in the checkout.

I'm like, they're talking about it right now. Right now. It's come. I mean, it's here. Like today, everybody's getting together, a party. Yeah, there's something to be said for when you're like all experiencing something at the same time like that. Just because, you know, it's not just. like you or your city watching like the Colts on Sunday and I football. It's like literally,

I mean, the whole country. Everybody. We've never been more united. Every Super Bowl Sunday. 630, you know everybody. Can we say Super Bowl? Sorry, big game. So, like. But, uh, yeah. Right. They're going to dock us on YouTube because we say Super Bowl. No monetization. NFL. No Super Bowl on there. No Super Bowl on the title. Can't even say it. We have the. Yeah, but I never like I never pay attention to the game There's always way too much shit going on to pay attention to the game Well that's the great part about it too It's like you want to watch the game but you don't

It's weird like if my favorite teams in it I'm like I still can't pay attention Oh I honestly almost I kind of hate when your favorite teams It's such a love hate thing when your team's in the Super Bowl Because if you were like If I were to actually watch the game with my favorite team. I'd have to lock myself in a room. Yeah.

Like everybody shut the fuck up. Right. You don't want to be around all the festivities. You're stressed out. That guy though. That's doing that while the party's going on. Hey, stir down. Getting all mad and shit and everybody else. No one else cares. But I'd, yeah, that guy's tough. But then also the people who are like, oh, somebody likes sports. Hey, okay, somebody is a football fan. Can he like relax? Like, relax. Like, No shit, man. It's the Super Bowl. Literally how, you know, everybody says,

it's not the Super Bowl. Well, now it is. Like, everything that you freak out about in sports, doesn't matter what sport it is. You can be playing a fucking video game. What you chill out, dude? It's not the Super Bowl. Okay, well, now it is.

Now it is the Super Bowl and you're still like. This guy's insane, bro. This guy's insane. All right. I hate that, man. Relax. Did I am that guy, though, that, uh, doesn't even look at the TV.

Even halftime. Like I want to see what's going on. I can't pay attention. Dude, the social media feeds during the Super Bowl, they move so quickly. It's almost not even worth trying to get anything out there. It's like tweeting something?

It's like so active. I mean, like not only is the Super Bowl football, it's like the Super Bowl of social media. I mean, like, everybody's going to have the big tweet. Everybody's tweeting the same thing usually and about the same thing. I mean, it's impossible. It's tough. So it's just like, you know what?

Maybe get one out there and then just throw the phone down and take in Rihanna. And take in Rihanna. Dude, I didn't even watch the nip slip growing up. Remember that? Janet Jackson. Oh, yeah. Didn't even do it. Because I was doing another shit.

No, I was doing a dunk contest in the hallway with my friend. It's like the most pivotal point of everyone's life growing up. Yeah. Super Bowl halftime show. Her tit, her can came out. And I'm just fucking doing a windmill off the fucking banister. Right. Twitter wasn't around then. So you kind of just like, well, no way. And go watch it immediately. You had to see that shit. Oh, yeah. I like, I still can't find it on the internet. I still can't. I don't even think that like, you know, on the homepage of Yahoo. I don't even think that had updated it yet. Maybe Monday morning Yahoo was like, hey, did you guys see this? Now, I mean, you don't, yeah, you don't, you really don't even have to watch. You just fucking open up your phone. You don't have to watch the game. There's this play.

That's why I'm not tripping about like, I wanted to watch the Pro Bowl. But I was like, I'll just see everything I need to see on my phone in like two minutes right after. I mean, what do you want? There's not even a game.

You weren't even watching anything. Well, I just wanted to see what the fuck was going on. Like, what are they doing? This is different. Because people were like, like, I saw a bunch of stuff on social media. And I was like, should I be watching that?

They did like a catch contest? I was like, that's kind of cool. What's that all about? yeah it's just wild that we've we've literally been alive long enough to where we've outlived the pro bowl like it's dead you know like when we were kids people like Sean Taylor lighten up that punter I still watch that like every week on YouTube probably like that was in the pro bowl absolutely head hunting Wednesday morning I'll just watch it randomly we were like to get pumped up for the gym or something like fucking throw that no just I'm like I can't believe he did that every day I'm like did they like did they like did they like Did he, like, say something to the kicker? Like, I'm going to fuck you up before this play. Because I was like, it seems a little rude. Because, like, all in the Pro Bowl, it's like, all right,

we're going to, like, look out for each other a little bit. And he was just like, nah, dog. Fucking punter. See you. Yeah, it's no more. I don't know. I mean, you know, we're having people over for the Super Bowl or a handful of people. And it's a fine.

What would you say is the number of, like, what, what's the idea? ideal Super Bowl crowd, like the amount of people. Ooh, bro. This is tough. I don't like it to where it's like a small enough group that I have to like pay attention to everyone. Because like if there's six people, I'm like, oh, that girl's like not in like, she's not having a great time.

So I'd rather have it be like 20 people. So I'm like do whatever you want. Kind of bounce in and out. Yeah, you don't have to, you're not responsible for anything. But if it's like four people, you got to be like, are you good? Are you, you need a. Not when you're hosting. when you're not hosting.

I don't know. It's still like that. If I wasn't hosting, they'd be doing that to me. And I'd be like, shut the hell up. I'll go get a drink what I want to. But like under six people, it's like, ah, shit.

Yeah. Yeah, eight. Yeah, it's seven, eight, seven to ten. We had a Super Bowl party one time in your hotel lobby and that shit slapped. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah, there were like 14, 15 people there.

There's probably, Yeah, that's my ideal party. Every time I think of the Super Bowl, I think of that night. That was cool. Plenty space. Dude, it's always, every, every game watching party seating is always a nightmare. Nothing. But for the Super Bowl, I'm like, fuck I go stand in the back.

Oh, yeah, I know. But that situation worked out well because it was in that big front kind of party room at the apartment. And so you could kind of go stand in the bag. But like, you know, for an instance now, if I'm hosting at my house, it's like you got the TV and the corner you got like the L shape and the chair there you gotta pick your seats. Everything's supposed to there you gotta have a seat man and like you always feel like such a bitch if you have to get like a fold out chair or something. Dude the foldout chair guy got that you're like

fuck sorry you're like kind of in the way all the time. Yeah but you feel like such a piece of shit if you're hosting and you're like here I can get you one fold out chair right in the living room or if you don't want to bring out the fold out chair somebody's like why don't you sit down just constantly throughout the game get a chair, sit down. You're like, I don't want to be a foldout guy. I'd rather be foldout guy who is a guest who's sitting in it that's offered to me than the one who's hosting the party.

And it's like, ah, fuck, we don't have enough comfortable seating. Here's a metal, terrible, uncomfortable chair to fold out in the living room. I'll go on the floor, bro. I would rather sit on the floor than a floor is fun, bro. Nothing. You're good. You can sit however you want. Right.

snacks, drinks, you're there. You're like a kid. You're like a four-year-old kid. Like that's comfy for a while. It does look up against the couch. It does look weird because you're in like jeans and stuff though. You don't wear jeans to a Super Bowl party. Is it chill?

You don't. I would. You would not wear jeans or Super Bowl. Well, I'd be like everybody else is wearing jeans. I got to wear jeans. That might be why I don't do anything. What is everybody wearing? If you're going to a Super Bowl party where you got to wear jeans,

you don't want to go to that Super Bowl party. what are you wearing to yours just like shit like this probably this and Steelers jersey that's a good party yeah if it's too dress upy I'm a big I'm a big like wear your team on the day of the Super Bowl it's like it's like the NFL like Freedom Day it's like the NFL celebration oh so if the Steelers aren't in it you're still rocking a jersey yeah that's like the day you know every I mean it's every yeah yeah yeah like the chiefs and the eagles are in the super bowl right but i mean hey there's 30 other teams the eagles are always in the goddamn super i am i the only one like i mean they have

dude they like every three years i'm like eagles again yeah at least the nfc championship they've every year my life they've been in the nfls in the nfc chamber i think like eight or nine times since like 1999 which is insane eight or nine and of course eagles fans are still the ones that are like so pissed off. Literally been in the most NFC championships have been to two Super Bowls, have won one over the last 20 years. Pissed.

Every year, Eagles. Me watching the Eagles on the Super Bowl with like, while eating way too many like peanuts or something. It's my only memory. It's my only memory of the Super Bowl. Bro, you know what you can't do? Because I'm doing it.

I'm probably going to do it. Whatever he said. Whatever you're about to say. If you're going to a Super Bowl party, you can't bring, don't bring a two-liter. There are already two-liter there for sure. Well, I mean, just like either bring cans, bring alcohol. I hate the two-liter. It's weird.

I hate it. It's such a throwaway. Like, oh, yeah, here's some two-leaders. Pouring that shit down the sink at midnight. I don't care if you- Squeezing it too, squeezing a two-liter down the sink. It's a good feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, wow, why does it feel so good to weigh something? Squeezing a two liter? All these cows down the drain. You're like, fuck off. Whoever brought this, do not care. It's always Mountain Dew. And you're like, ew. But then you kind of want to drink it.

But then you're like, nah. Yeah, it's always, it's always Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, Coke. The amount of times I've squeezed it Mountain Dew down the sink. Full blast coming out of that thing, dude. Well, nobody's looking to. Like if somebody's looking, I'd feel guilty. Because they'd be like, well, you're wasted it. But if nobody's looking, I'm like,

I will throw so many drinks down the sink, bro. Like the next night, when you're cleaning up, bro, I'll go psycho mode. Just get a trash can and just get all the cans, all the bottles, all the two liters. Feels good. There's always, there's like dip in some of them. You're like, damn, he was doing that the whole time.

He was really just chawing out, like the whole game and his wife didn't even know. He was having a good time. time at my party. And you text him and I hope you had a good time on son. Fucking buzzed off your ass. Hope you did. Always the same amount of liquid in all the cans, too.

Just don't want the rest of it. Like, can we stop discriminating against the last quarter of our drinks, everyone? You know what I'm saying? I'm like kind of don't want to. Dude, I mean, just just, you know, bring a, bring a, I take a veggie tray over a two liter. Dude, I'm the guy that will bring the veggie tray,

eat the whole veggie. I'll eat all that shit, but not like the main course on a Super Bowl party. The nuts, I'm in. You know how much I hate veggie trays too. The fruit, I'm in. That shit ain't in veggie trays? The veggie tray, I'm in. It's just like it's in the same category of like pre-shed.

Cheese and crackers? I'm fucking that whole block of cheese up. Fruit salad? Pasta salad? Not a big pasta. There's too much liquid in it all the time. And somebody made it. I'm just like, I don't trust this.

You trust some fucking veggie tray from Marsh? Yeah. Tomatoes? Popping tomatoes like every like six seconds? You mean to tell me that like my wife makes pasta salad? You're not like, yeah, I'll throw that on the plate. I'm putting a handful of tomatoes in my pocket. I got tomatoes in my pocket.

Oh, God. Pasta salad is risky. How? Where did it come from? what's in it. How do they make it? That shit's so good. I saw somewhere that apparently

pigs in a blanket are like last on Super Bowl trays, which I found hard to believe. I thought that would be top three. So fire. Dude, a thing of pigs in a blanket with just a big old bowl of mustard. They're kind of a lost art,

it seems like. I don't see those around a lot. That's why you just buy. You're buying from Costco. Pigs in a blankie. Only kind of at like graduation open houses. That's a big deal, isn't it? Or is it the mini meatballs I'm thinking about?

All kind of the same. They can all kind of roll with. Dude, that's my ideal Super Bowl party. There's no main dish. Give me a... All sides. Dog, give me a mini crock pot of the tiny meatballs. That should be your theme.

Give me pigs in a blanket. Obviously buffalo chicken dip. Yeah. A veggie tray's cool Tostito scoops Yep Have a cookie cake that's Super Bowl themed That's it

I'm with this Not too much Have we're just doing side All right yeah Right because then What's the main course anyway pizza It's got to be pizza Yeah the pizza are wings

So many fucking wings It's so funny too How like everybody on Super Bowl Sunday is like Wings Well, wings are they're like, it's like two o'clock. They should probably put the pizza order in now. They kick us off for four and a half hours. I know, but it does seem like that.

You're like, shit. Everybody in the whole country's ordering pizza. Literally. We used to dial that shit in at halftime. And it would get to our crib. Oh, you, you tried, you went after the rush. You didn't go before. I think we were just stupid.

No, we're just stupid. We had no strategy. I was just like, when are we getting this? And my dad was like, oh, I'll call. Hold on. Go back to that. Cola. Here we are.

This is on Delish.com. Blooming Cacadier Rink. See, that shit. See, that's what's crazy. Wild. Is meatball sub? Meabal sub. Egg rolls.

This is a lot. Now, that stuff all looks phenomenal. But who has the culinary capacity to make that? Nobody really wants this shit. Pull apart spinach artich football. Nobody wants this. Also, like, the pull apart, Spinnet loaded fries would be pretty good.

But the pull apart spinach archeroke football, I would just be like, that's a decoration. That's not a food. Like that's not a trade to be eaten. That shit that literally looked like a football. This is too nice. This shit's like when you go to your rich friend's house.

And they have like a chef. Right. Like their mom didn't make it. It's a person who works for them. Right. They have a chef. I'm not ever really thinking about dessert on the Super Bowl. For some reason, it's all just food.

I get that. I'm not like, I need something sweet. I've never thought that in the Super Bowl. But that's why you, you just have like one one thing one themed cookie cake who a bunch of brownies bunch of brownies one of that rice crispy treats with the like m&Ms of the team colors oh that'd be cool let's go that be cool cupcakes with the uh the icing is the little fucking dollop of the the team it's got like one of those one of those like football like plastic

footballs in the top of it right yeah how many times do you rip that football off the icing are you kidding me make out with it bro it is it's a sex thing I've ever done. In front of everybody I know too. It's like the dirtiest thing. Taking the plastic thing off the top of a cupcake and just like talking to like your dad, someone you respect. Like talking to your mom. I'm like

really? That is so crazy. Yeah, Eagles always in the Super Bowl. I know. It's the best part of a cupcake. Trying to lick all the icing off the weird plastic thing that you kind of want to eat too. Right. You're like, that's got to be good. It has to be edible. They can't just put like fucking figurines on

desserts and expect me not to eat them. So that's what we're doing at my Super Bowl party. Then you wear it on your finger. You wear that football ring on your pinky for like two minutes. Somebody sees and you're like, okay. They're like, what is that?

And you're kind of drunk. You're like, nothing. Then I'm like, do you want one? Just so you can eat another cupcake. Oh, fuck. This is all in like the first quarter to. Yeah. He still got a whole ass game to go.

They're sitting on the ground too. You're definitely the guy sitting on the ground if you're licking the icing. Chris Cross applesauce. Oh, yeah. Happiest motherfuckerucker. Just fucking five football rings on your fingers because you just ate five cupcakes. Your hands are sticky and shit. Your teeth are blue from the icing.

That's the best time of your life. That's the best time of your life, bro. Yeah, your tongue's blue and shit. don't care about anybody. You're like playing with the dog in the house. Now, like the theme balloons. Somehow you get a hold of the football one. You're kind of like popping it around. Like the guy who's paying attention on the couch watching the game right over to him. And he's like, bro, shut the, then you start the game. The guy, it's so locked. It's so locked into his bets, dude. Shut up. We get it. You bet. I love those guys. Those guys will never learn. You know.

You just love them, though, because it's like, I'll just never get it. Can anybody ever just fucking place a bet and never speak a word of it? No, no. Are you kidding me? What's the point of doing that? You got to tell somebody that has no clue about how betting works like me. You know, I had 16 and a half on the phone. And I'm like, what the hell are you talking about, bro?

It's always like, it's always like, you know, my mom or my mother-in-law and be like, so did you bet on it? And you're like, the other one guy is like, yeah, I did a little teaser. I sprinkled a little action on plus 10 and a half at halftime. That's the first half spread. I do like how they bet on random shit during the Super Bowl though. They're like, I bet he has black cleats for the kickoff. That's cool.

Yeah. That can get people like you, me, like my wife, you know, like that gets the just average, just fun football fan in it, you know, makes it to where, like I said, like me and the wife are having it on. she's like, oh, I'll put it on that. And then she's like kind of in it, right? That's always fun. Putting money on a game is always way more interesting, though. That video you did, man, still gets me. People who bet.

That might be a good idea, dude. The guy who's so locked into his bets during the Super Bowl, everybody else is trying to have a good time. Everybody would take it too. No! I take it too personally, man. Perfect. Because it's everybody.

I can't wait to be. be guy in the Florida and the Super Bowl. Cupcakes. Cupcake hands. That's what we're doing. That's what I'm doing. I'm telling the folks. I'm telling.

You ever so excited to do somebody's house? You wear shorts under your pants, take your pants off and you just have shorts on? And everybody's like, damn, did he come here in shorts? Not since I was 11, probably. Shorts under the pants. This is a crazy plan ahead move. Not only is it a crazy plan ahead move. It's a crazy comfort move.

it's hey then you forget your pants at their house and you're like oh my pants like your house like a year later from that one weird time i took them off and just sat indians or chris grouse applesauze in my fucking my Nike basketball shorts they become like his girlfriend's sleeping pants yeah you're like whatever i'm not getting those that is so funny dude yeah see your buddy's girlfriend wearing your sweatpants that you were like on christmas the last two years you're i guess they're yours but they weren't even yours to begin with bro they're like they're like sex they're like sex they're like sex they're like Saginaw Valley State lacrosse sweatpants somehow have them. So you're like, why is she wearing?

What? Saginaw lacrosse? Yeah, I know there's only one pair of those. SVSU lax right here on the hip. And you're like, those have to be mine. Saginaw Valley State, bro. That's so fucking funny. Only on the... That's it. That's a theme for my Super Bowl party.

Saginaw Valley State lacrosse. That would be the bad. I would do. Bro, if you're like, hey, Super Bowl party, I'm like, well, that's, I don't really want to go. But it's Saginaw Valley State lacrosse theme. That'd be like, the time to start. No, no. Only like sides, right?

Okay. So only your tiny meatballs, your pigs in a blanket, all that shit. Ideal football. This is what we're doing right now? And then the theme is like you have to wear some fucky. college apparel or pro. comfy clothes. You can get me there. Funky comfy comfy. Funky comfy.

Funky comfy clothes. That sounds awesome. Fucking comfy college clothes. Yeah. Like come as you are day to my Super Bowl party pretty much. Yeah. Like what you, yes. Don't have any fashion. No fashion. The first thing you wake, like the first thing after you get out of bed that you put on when you're just like having your morning coffee. Ooh.

it's always like that's a great party center grove volleyball sweatpants with like a un d football summer camp t-shirt yeah it's like real big it doesn't fit it's like a chode shirt hair's in a messy girl's hairs and a that's that's what we're doing that's the super bowl party yeah this two different color socks i'm not wearing a steeler's jersey i'm wearing just something like that now i got to have some representation of like like i like i got to have some representation of like i I'm not going to give it away, actually. That sounds like an awesome party. Everybody's going to be comfy as hell.

Bring a blanket. B-Y-O-B. Oh, sick. You're going to Joey's Super Bowl party? Yeah, B-Y-O-B, right? Hell yeah, brother. Dude, no one's doing that, though, because the pictures. Everybody looks like shit.

Every girl is. No. Maybe, like, dude, that doesn't happen anymore. This isn't the digital camera era where they're like capturing. Yeah, no. People are snapping it up. They're doing boomerangs and shit. As long as their fucking nails are done, it's like,

got sports. That makes you want to kill myself. I hate it when people say that too. Seeing that on Super Bowl Sunday. Hey, just, you know what? Yeah, okay, it's a big day for sports. Have some respect around here. It's a big day for football.

Just let it go. You can watch The Bachelor tomorrow. I'm not going to make a big fucking deal about it. All right. How about that show that's always on after the Super Bowl and you're like, should I watch that? It's like after Patriots Eagles, da-na-na, Malcolm in the middle.

I'm like, damn, I kind of want to see that. Oh, dude, that's a weird come down. Yeah. That might, that is. That's like worse than Christmas. You're like, what's worse? Christmas, when you're like driving home on Christmas night

and you're from your grandmalls or from out of town or whatever, and it's 1159. and it's like I don't think I've ever looked at the clock Oh the holidays You can't beat home sweet home 1159 midnight comes

Yeah at the top of the hour Their fucking legal ID thing or whatever And then it's like Saturday Saturday Because it changes back to the regular Regular that or after the Super Bowl When it's like the slow mo the out the outro slomo of Patrick Mahomes holding up the Super Bowl trophy

Andy Reid you know, doing a fist pump or whatever, guy doing Snow Angels in the fucking confetti. Damn it. This has been Super Bowl 57 on Fox. And then it opens up on some weird doctor show. The Simpsons, you're like,

okay, well, this is, that's really it. I guess I got to do my chemistry homework now. Ugh. It is some homework you always have. Man. What a weird come down. I don't know what's worse. Don't be a dickhead teachers.

Don't be a, just don't. Just don't. Just let your. Students have fun on the Super Bowl. I never understood that. Yeah, let's get him a worksheet. Do Monday. I'm like, what a bitch.

Right. Dude, it's always, it's really the, Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. No. It's had a stroke. Yeah, it's the postgame concert that gets me down in the dumps,

dude. Postgame concert? There's a post-game concert at the Super Bowl. There used to be anyway. That they would play on the field? Or like outside the stadium? He was on the field. Like after the game, you know, they give the MVP like a car.

And you're like, Jesus Christ. And it's always a guy that like kind of doesn't deserve it. Why is the Super Bowl MVP always so weird? You're like, that free safety got it? They never get it like they never get it right. It's like bro, even if he didn't play that well, like give it to the quarterback. But that's the thing. like it's either a popularity contest like it was of Peyton Manning or it's yeah like the weird reserve

tied in you're like I'd rather it makes sense though because if somebody just pops off like in the Super Bowl dexter Jackson that's the weirdest weirdest Super Bowl MVP ever is dexter here we go so I was like him I don't even know what number he is he had like three picks I mean the last three I mean yeah the last weird one weird one was Malcolm Smith who the hell is that Seahawks Broncos You had like a picks, yeah, here you go. Interception for TD, fumble recovery, 10 tackles. Yep. John L. Way.

That was the first Super Bowl I remember ever. It's like the only Super Bowl that meant. That's the one though, right there. Like the John Lway, 336 passing yards and one touchdown. Okay. Like you just wanted John Lway to have a Super Bowl MVP. I don't know, 336 yards? That's a lot of...

Hey, you know, a lot of yards for a lot of scoring. one one convert one put it in the end zone that's that one where that owner's like yes odds god I just want to keep talking about this shit so bad shot dexter jackson that was fucking sick you only had two first off interceptions and he won I thought he had to pick six I thought he did too how about when there's two teams playing in the super ball and you know one's just going to beat the shit out of another one

you kind of feel bad for him the whole week we haven't had one like that in a while I'll never forget broncos and like uh falcons falcons I was like poor guy guys. The whole week, I was like, they don't stand a chance, man. Falcon Super Bowl was the week before when they beat the Vikings.

Mark Ripian. Ugh. Ripian. Oh, Dion Brand. Yeah, see the receiver. Receiver always like, weird.

It's volume. Like the receiver will have like 12 catches, but like seven of them were just little screens or like dump-offs. And it's like, oh, the damn branches have himself for quite a night. He does a good job. Like,

All right, Aikman. Just chill out. That's so true. 12 catches, 81 yards. Doesn't even have a touchdown? Yeah. Okay.

Like, he broke the record for receptions during the game, which no one knows. As if each one of them was, like contested down the sideline, like Julio Jones in him. Probably not. All right,

Treg. Hey, how about the, like, Super Bowl looking a little crispier than any other football game ever? You're like, how did that just happen all of a sudden? So all of a sudden my TVs from this year

They crank up the HD They do They definitely cranked It's a good call Yeah And it's a little foggy too It's a little foggier It's a lot of

A lot of pyro See what I hate about when they play The Super Bowl on the West Coast And this is going to happen this week No wait where's the Super Bowl Arizona So the first quarter is going to be bright Dude

So annoying I'm done with the Super Bowl Turn this shit off We're done can't watch super world the super world needs to be fucking the nightest game of all time it needs to be in a dome

yeah that's good that's good oh that's a feel are the chiefs going with yellow end zones yeah it makes you want to watch that's pretty sick

but you know what it is too about the like high deaf of it I hate it dude they like each year that a network has a Super Bowl on the Super Bowl they debut new graphics Oh

Guys like pop out of the end zone For the starting lineup and shit like that But even like the scoreboard graphic It's they debut it for the next season And they use a Super Bowl Like bam throw it out there Damn that's some that's some planning ahead I'm sad about this fox bug going away

It's like so simple so clean Is it very good Is it on Foxes here? Oh that's my shit bro Yeah cleatis is going to be everywhere Is it the robot? Yeah He's gonna be popping out of like the stands

Love that. Man, I would get so excited when the Super Bowl's on Fox growing up. It's on Fox's here? Yes! It should be. It should never be on CBS. CBS is like, oh. All I think about is science homework.

The Super Bowl should never be on CBS. It should only be on NBC, Fox and like ABC maybe. ABC is nice. No. Hell no. Ew. Fox. They're a little less HD.

It is. Yeah. CBS is less HD. You crank it up a little bit, Jim Nance. Come on. Yeah, I think that might be it too, bro. God dang. It's like for senior citizens, almost.

Yeah. CBS for seniors. Like, they wear that big, like, weird, like, grandpa patch on their jackets. Terrible. That's true, Eichmann wasn't bad. Oh, yeah, that was. That's good.

Have you not done that before? Might throw that in the arsenal. May God come and work out. They may see that this week, folks. All he ever does is say, Hey, it does a nice job. Does a good drop. That's all he says.

Better than Romo. Okay. TG20. TG20 Super Bowl episode. Subscribe. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube. Got some stuff cooking.

Thanks for listening. Yeah. Sit on the floor at your Super Bowl party. Crisscross applesauce and eat cupcakes. Okay. Then hit a balloon in somebody's face. All right. Bye.