THESE GUYS! - The Eclipse feels like December 21st
Episode Date: April 10, 2024this week the burpy boys talk about the SCARIEST jobs🎟️ 𝗕𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗬'𝗦 𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗨𝗣 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗦 https://benedictpoli...zzi.com/shows/Hartford - April 18 Omaha - May 1 Syracuse - May 30🎟️JOEY'S UPCOMING STAND UP SHOWS https://www.officialjoeymulinaro.com/BUFFALO, NY 4/17/24DETROIT, MI 4/24/24KANSAS CITY, MO 5/2/24🔺𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗕𝗘 https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗦𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗬𝗦! 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/products/these-guys-hoodie-1?variant=41218692775993
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We were doing this thing in college where we'd pop up out of Jimmy Johns when they were about to close,
and they'd give us all the bread at the end of the day.
That is, that is some college shit right there.
HG 77.
77.
Hutt, hot, hot, hot, hot, 53 is Mike, 53 is Mike.
53 is Mike. 53 is my.
Okay.
We get it.
Can we have Clubhouse?
I mean, what is that?
Why?
Every time?
Been playing football for 29 years.
Still feel like I am.
I don't get why we have to call that out.
I see it.
I don't know.
I mean,
I don't know either.
It just seems,
yeah,
it just seems like something you do.
Like,
like he's obviously the middle linebacker, right?
Is that what we're doing?
Your quarterback,
you wear like a towel down in between your legs
so you can wipe your hands off.
and you call out Mike linebacker.
It's like we don't, you know,
just part of it.
It's just what you do.
The fact that every team calls the middle linebacker Mike is just so funny,
I had a middle school football coach whose name was Mike,
and he played linebacker in high school.
Meant to be.
Like dudes with the last name Armstrong.
I'm like,
you have to be like at the end or something.
Armstrong?
How about a?
pitcher. That's pretty good,
how about a quarterback?
Oh, man. Get a good Armstrong quarterback.
Dude, my dad's got this story about this backup quarterback, his name, Justin Case.
Oh, no way. How cold is that, right? That is big. He's lying.
Just in case. I don't know if he is, bro. It's pretty good. That's a, and if he is lying,
like, it's a pretty good lie. Like, you got to give it to him. I just, I buy into the bid
every time. Hey, that's, that sounds like, like in baseball, I say like, oh, yeah, they're throwing
Johnny Holstaff today. And it's like, they're just ever, all the pitchers are available and you go,
you know what I mean? Like, yeah, that's not real just in case the backup quarterback.
And if you don't like it, if you got a problem, if you're not going to be watching film,
then you'll be sitting over there with just in case.
Dude, that's good for like a football like, uh, sketch. So excited, got laggy.
I always wanted to do one that was, like, a, like, an army guy whose name was General Soreness.
And he came in and he was like, you know, because everybody's always, yeah, he's, he's on the 10-day I-L with General Soreness.
And then General Soreness is like an actual, like a, like a, you know, like a captain in the army.
It's like, sir, did you not go through the proper procedures getting taped up?
well that's why he got general sordis on your ankle, sorry!
General soreness.
Dude, when people are out for general soreness, I'm like me too.
Yeah, every day of our life.
Okay.
My back's a little tight today.
Adrian Peterson.
You don't see me fucking just chilling.
Now, I know you got the Connecticut jersey on.
I know it's because you're going there for people for a show.
chunk right yeah yeah uh next thursday april 18th hartford let's party babe get your tickets below
then we got omaha coming up oh may 1st and uh then then syracuse after that but get all the
tickies in the description below or at uh benedictictopulitzer dot com pushing ticky man that
that that that carmelo anthony jersey is gonna look good oh we'll see
I don't know. I kind of, I don't try to go right on the nose like that.
You know what I mean? It might have to be something a little fucky.
All right. So Dwight your Franey.
Oh, ho.
Donva, McBab, okay.
I don't know. I'm thinking like Devenorf. Isn't he of Syracuse? But remember him?
Oh, yeah. Johnny Flynn.
Johnny Flynn, dude. What a name. Johnny Flynn.
Who's not hanging out with Johnny Flynn?
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Greg Paulus
football jersey
that's insane
that's insane
bro
transfer how about him
just being like
I'll play football this year
I think
I think Greg Paulus walked
so Johnny Manzell could run
at least on the field
wasn't he
wasn't he that's another one of those guys
that was a five star quarterback
coming out of high school
and was like
play basketball.
Yeah, but it was also
super good enough to be the starting
point guard as a freshman at Duke.
Him and Josh McRoberts.
Oh, you serious?
Josh McRoberts.
On the cover of ESPN.
Like, I hate you, but I want to be you.
Okay.
And you live in the same city as me.
And I'm mad.
Like, kind of excited.
It's cool, but also fuck you.
Excited because
you live in the same city as me
kind of jealous because my dad wants to go to your game
over my game.
Kind of excited because there's maybe a chance
you could run into you at a party
but also all of our girls
definitely just want to go to your house
and we won't be invited.
And I just want to go up to your room
and look at your shoes and leave.
Bro!
Dude, I'm such like that, dude,
around like famous.
people.
He's like eight years
older than me
so none of that is
even registering
but yeah
we all
we all been there
we all had those
athletes cross the town
oh my god
do you hear
she's yeah
if I somehow
oh
all right
let's keep going
push those tickies
baby
Buffalo
week from tonight
helium
um
April 17th
Detroit April 24th
Kansas City
May 2nd
And, yeah, April and May.
Big April and May run here.
Official Joey millinero.com and all over the bios.
Come on down.
Spring ball tour.
Nothing worse than spring ball, bro.
I know you, I know you know, but when I signed up, when I signed up to play college football,
I had no idea at spring ball is a thing.
Yeah.
See, I always did.
I always did because I was such a psycho college football fan.
when I was a, well, still I am, but when I was a kid,
and, like, all I wanted to do is go to, like, the blue and cold game,
you know, like the Notre Dame Blue and Gold game,
because I'm like, holy shit, you know, they're actually playing,
and you get to see the play, and it's, you know, football in spring.
So it is weird.
It's weird, it's a weird, you know, if I'm flipping around on ESPN or Fox Sports or whatever,
and I see, like, Alabama Spring game, I'm like, I guess, yeah.
Yeah.
Like, I guess I'll flip it on.
They run a reverse
and the wide receiver comes around and does one of those.
Oh.
Jerry Judy goes 62 yards.
You're like Alabama's going to be good this year.
You don't want to remember that name come the fall.
Yeah, yeah.
There's always one guy that pops off during the spring game.
Then during the regular season,
he's like not even on the team.
You're like, huh?
Didn't he do a flip and catch it one-handed and no look?
He had 4 98-yard rushing touchdowns
And he's not playing this year
I'm like what
Oh he actually wasn't even enrolled in classes
And got caught using PEDs
Got it
Damn it
Never hear from him again
Yeah
Well try to get that guy back on the team
How about the senior in high school
That graduates early
And then goes and plays in the spring game
Like that spring
Dude
I'm like can you chill
I know
I'm like, go to prom, you psycho.
Dude, have the final summer with your boys.
Like, no, I want to pick out my helmet and my number.
I'm like, bro, chill out.
Second semester, senior year?
The most like, especially when you know that's your destination?
Live it up a little bit.
Live it.
Feel it out.
Live in the moment.
You got the next four years ago be some grunt with table.
on your helmet, you know?
There's some number.
It's like, I'm just describing like a,
every coming of age football movie, you know,
like the star player in high schools, like,
well, oh, Cam, you're going to go to the NFL.
Well, I hope son.
You know, and then like it flashed forward to him,
you know, he's the biggest star in his town,
and then it flashes forward to like cuts right to practice.
He's like getting his brains beat in.
like hey finger tape some fuck ass number 41 get up so he was a quarterback in high school he's
a number 41 that's a bad feeling right there that'll make that'll drive me right out of playing football
dude i'm number one in high school cool uniform and then i'm number 49 somehow in college
i'm done yeah fuck out of space mask like you can't get a cool helmet and
far down the middle
prove yourself
earn your stride
like dude
how many goddamn times
I have to prove myself
in my life
Jesus Christ
dude just give me
some cool stuff
I'll prove myself
a lot easier
yeah
that's on the coaches
they gotta
hey you know
they got to be able
to figure out their players
what
figure out what buttons
to push
coacher
come on coacher
just in case
dude
back off
just in case.
Yeah, dude.
You know the backup,
that'll just,
hey,
that'll just sling it.
Long hair.
That dude has a lifetime deal
is just a backup quarterback.
He can market so much from that.
He didn't have to be good.
He's like good too,
you know.
Yeah,
but he doesn't even have to be.
It's like,
that's literally a sketch.
That's an S&L sketch.
Just okay.
Paul plays baseball too
doesn't really care but he's good
so uh
one big fan of the eclipse
huh
uh I don't think I even saw it
I don't think we got to see it in
West Coast
yeah I will admit
it's a yeah it was totally different
you know like if you're
if you weren't in the line of totality
it's just kind of like eh
but where we were in Indy, the way it was, it was, I was a cynic going in.
Burpee boy times two.
Not going alive.
I love you burpee boy.
Whoa.
I was a cynic going in, but it was, it was really, really cool.
I bet.
I would have been the same way.
I wouldn't have like camped out and shit.
Yeah.
It was, it was weird, dude.
It had like a, almost like an apocalyptic, but all.
also spring break feel.
It was like if the world was ending on spring break.
Wow.
Throw spring break into the mix.
I'm in.
Now I'd love spring break more than you and joke.
I know.
And I don't even like it that much.
But I'm like, yeah, it is nice, bro.
Yeah, that's what it was, though.
I have to say, like, now that I'm thinking about it,
because we lucked out and it was, like, 75 and sunny,
like, it was a great fucking day.
Yeah.
And, like, everybody was just, like, on their driveways.
drinking at 2 o'clock on a Monday.
Ooh, on a Monday.
That's a nice little,
nice little curveball for a Monday.
Yeah,
like no one was working.
Everybody,
everybody I talked to was just like,
oh yeah,
boss said that work from home day
from the eclipse.
So check the emails a couple times.
I'm like,
oh,
nice.
But,
yeah,
but then like the feel of it
because everybody was in
on the same thing,
you know,
and every channel you turned it on,
everything was there.
So it felt like the end of the world,
but also it was like,
this is a party.
I like when everybody's in on it.
That's fun.
Yeah, you could feel it in the air.
The energy in the air was different.
It's just another version of us talking about Christmas somehow.
Yeah, it's December 21st feeling.
Oh, December 21st, best day.
But it was crazy, dude.
December 21st, it's over.
It's so true.
I hate it.
Totally wrecks me.
Wrecks me every time.
That's so funny.
But like the change in the weather too, bro, it was wild because like I said, it was like 75.
And then all of a sudden, slowly mature, like when that moon started creeping in front, it got chilly.
No way.
Yeah.
And then right back to one.
Yeah.
Oh, I'd like that.
It was wild, dude.
Like, it had that weird, like, chill in the air that right before a storm is about to come, you know, when the wind cools down because the rain's coming.
You're like, man, do I need to put a crew neck on?
Yeah, I better go inside and watch a movie and never come out of my bed.
I better go watch Halloween or...
God, I better order a pizza.
Weird.
every time it gets cold
Wow
I better get a girlfriend
I guess we're just ordering pizza
I guess we'll have all the bezas
I'll take one large
pepperoni pizza
Dude so it was
God damn
It was a few weeks ago
It was a few weeks ago
I forget why
But we were going to hang out of my sisters
and
she was like
yeah, come on down.
She said,
her husband was like,
yeah,
Greg said,
all he wants is bourbon and pizza.
You throw the B on it?
They do the B on it.
So then we go down there and we're like,
because they live,
you know,
from where we live to where they live,
it's probably about,
yeah,
it's like 40 minutes.
There's,
you know,
it's not an easy,
it's an easy trip,
but like,
if you're going to,
you want to stay down there
if you're going to make the trip,
Right. So we're like, yeah, we'll just stay down there too.
Like, we'll hang so we can have some drinks and stuff.
So my brother-in-law orders Papa John.
Bapa.
And yeah, Bapa Johns.
And like it ends up is, and it is really good.
And I'm walking back to get more.
And he's right by the box still like mid bites of round two or three for him.
And with his mouthful, he just looks at me and just goes, that's some good.
basis.
I'd have to get up and leave, dude.
I'd have to take a lap.
I'd have to take a lap.
He said it with some pizza in his mouth.
That's crazy.
This guy looks like Jerry Rice out here.
So funny.
It was.
It was really good.
It was really good.
Yeah, I'm wearing a jacket down here because it's warm and indie, but, like, I guess I
forgot how basements get just so fucking cold.
I know.
No. It doesn't seem right.
Dude, I'm walking around T-shirt shorts right now in Indy.
Like, it's great.
So I come down here to record and I'm like, God, dang, I can't do this for an hour.
Breezing. Got to get a space heater.
Literally.
Those will ruin your whole electricity situation.
A space heater?
Dude, every time I plug a space heater in, I feel like half of the fucking neighborhood
goes black.
It'll take out the power.
I used to like have one in my car.
Because like the same thing would happen when I'd like when I'd like do a podcast or edit like at wave one sometimes like in that area where we did the podcast.
Like it was just be so cold.
And I plugged a space heater in in that building and all the electricity went out.
And that's happened like two other times, bro.
It happened like in one in a, in a, in a, in a.
one of my old houses I lived in,
plug a space,
it's happened at my dad's.
I'm like,
what's going on
with space heaters,
bro?
I don't know.
That's such a you thing
to have, though.
Mm-hmm.
Like,
you live by such,
like,
bare minimums,
but then you just spring
for the most random shit.
Damn,
that's,
that's a good call.
I do.
I can't be cold,
man.
And blankets,
blankets just don't cut it.
What do you mean?
Like,
I used to work the front desk
at Marion.
Like,
On a dumb college job, best job I ever had.
Only job I want moving forward.
Just sit at the desk and try to do homework while people walk in.
Just people watch.
Just 6 a.m. to 10th to noon.
Oh, you were the key card guy.
People had to come swipe their key cards in.
Like to get into the building?
No.
Yeah.
Like the AD would roll in around 9 a.m.
Like maybe two like freaks would go,
workout at like 7 a.m.
But it was just me
and the rest of the building. I just unlocked the
whole building, but it was so cold.
I bought a space heater
and plug it in, so I was just by the desk
all warm. Because that first
week, dude, it was freezing.
And the doors, people would come in
and the door to open, blow cold. I'd be like,
yo, not doing this.
Dude, those jobs would freak me out, though.
Do you ever wear when you were like just really alone?
And like, maybe it was dark out? And you were like,
I don't know about this.
Always get a little scared.
Like you'll hear something.
Real jumpy.
Or you'll see something.
I was like, was that a dog?
I hope so.
And then I close all the doors and I'm like,
bro, there's a random dog in this building.
And I'm just chilling on my laptop playing like T-Pain music out loud,
so pretending I'm not scared.
It just was preparing you for our radio job.
Oh my God, dude.
Yeah, seriously.
I've had the worst,
scariest jobs of all time.
How about working in a cemetery?
That's a good one.
I've always wondered who would ever work in a cemetery.
Yeah, it was,
again, it was like right after freshman year of college,
you know, you're just looking to have,
you're just looking for employment, man.
too young to really get like a worthwhile internship anywhere, you know,
but you can't just sit on your ass.
So you're like, yeah, I need to get one of these gigs.
Worked there Monday through Friday from like May to August until we went back to school.
And going into it, I was like, a cemetery?
Like what?
Dead people?
Crazy.
But it is great.
I know, man.
That's a fire job.
outside from May to August.
Hey, get the tan.
Hey, like shoveling, getting mold, you know, like fucking all the landscaping stuff.
It's working your shoulders and your arms and your back and you don't even realize it.
Work out.
Sweat in.
I was like on my own a lot of the times.
Like I didn't have to like be doing team projects and stuff.
They'd be like, uh, Joey, go, uh, mulch lot E.
And I'd be like, fucking great.
turning on Cowherd and ESPN
I had the whole lineup, dude.
Back then it was
it was Mike of Mike
until 10
Grady and Big Joe
locally until noon
but I would flip back and forth
eventually I crossed over and said
eh
and I went Cowherd
because he was 10 to 1 on
big ESPN radio
like national ESPN radio
Dude that was Pete Cowherd
yes it was that little ESPN studio
that was like a closet
him just going crazy in there
always the papers in his hands just like
I was like
how do you let that guy go man
dude when he left I was like
I know that was a big day dude
hey sir
sir sir
dude I'll never forget when
LeBron James went from Miami to Cleveland
and Colin Cowherd broke the news
I literally started crying
we have an announcement
I was like
And then Cowherd too
He called out the
He called out the conspiracy about
I think it was him
It might have been him or Bill Simmons or both
But he called out the conspiracy
Yeah
Literally
Same guy, different coast
He called out the conspiracy
About having that announcement
Or that article where LeBron
said he's going back to Cleveland
How he didn't say Andrew Wiggins
like he said a bunch of the different pieces that they had
like Kyrie and Tristan Thompson and stuff
and they had Andrew Wiggins and he didn't say Andrew Wiggins
and so the herd was like
look I'm no JFK conspiracy theorist but I
you're gonna leave up
number one drop-up and
so then literally like a month later
Wiggins gone traded
oh bro
to Minnesota or whatever the hell
It's so fun to talk about trades, especially in the NBA.
Dude, NBA off-season trades keep, like, ESPN radio alive.
Luckily, the NFL's getting to be like that finally, too.
That's good.
With, like, their trades and free agency and shit.
Diggs out of nowhere.
Not that we, like, we talk about sports or anything on this, but...
Dude, I really liked...
I really on some old ESPN radio.
Are we like old heads for that?
I just feel like that was like the best era.
Yeah, I mean, Mike and Mike to Cowherd to SVP?
SVP and Rosillo, bro.
That's fire.
Fired.
Bro, I'll host a sports radio show after listening to that for a week.
Yeah.
Bro, SVP, I swear to God, I think I've told you this before.
I used to like, I couldn't wait to listen to it every day.
And in the summer one time, he just left for three weeks.
Like went on vacation for three weeks.
That's, yeah, like while you're working one of those summer jobs and like that's when you need him the most.
I was like, dude, he's gone for another week.
It's just some like other guy.
You're like, God damn it.
Bro, it's right around 4th of July.
Just like in the most dead time of sports ever.
So you're like, dude, not only is there no sports or anything really happening, but I can't even get SVP to talk.
And that's when you want them.
That's when you want them when there's nothing, no sports to talk about and he's just riffing.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Our king.
SBP, my king.
He's still pretty nice on a late night ESPN.
Is he still doing that?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
Yeah, he is.
I think, though, that I saw that there's like, him and Rosillo.
we're getting back together and doing something.
Stanford Steve.
I was like...
Yeah.
Yeah, I saw something about that.
That levitard would just set it off at like 6 o'clock.
I'd be like, this is crazy.
This is crazy, bro.
You were always such a lebitard guy.
Bro, it was insane to me what they were doing.
I was like, dude, every show feels like they're trying to get fired.
And I was like, well, that's why I'm listening.
Didn't you like fucking...
No, that's what you did.
It was when Mike and Mike...
came to Indy and somehow you wheezed your way in their meat and greet and you brought
them Long's Donuts and a Jets and an Eagles hat.
Yeah, dude, you remember that shit?
That's crazy.
Yeah, because it was like, I remember it was like right when we were, right at the start
of espresso, like we'd probably been doing videos and stuff together for, I don't know,
just that year we had started.
Yep.
And I remember you being like, yeah, dude, I'm, I'm going to do that.
And I was like, one, how are you even doing that?
why, like what, you know, you're always down to go eight steps above and beyond.
And I'm always like, I'm good.
I don't think that's going to work out.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
You know?
I was like, they're here.
I might as well, like, try it.
No, I know.
That's why I, that's why I are for that.
I will weasel in, though.
I will.
was there.
You do, you have a knack.
I don't know how you find your way in,
but you got a knack.
You always have.
It's like comes from your dad too.
It's because nobody else tries.
It's because nobody else tries.
If you try, bro, you can get it.
Like,
dude, I weasled my way into Levitard studio too.
I was like, fuck it.
I remember that too.
I was like, what?
What?
I just listened every day and I was like,
they're at the Clevelander in Miami.
I was like,
bro, I'm going to email their producer and be like, yo, can I just say what's up?
Like, I'm a fan.
Went to Miami and then just popped up during the show.
And I was like, are they on right now?
And he was like, yeah, go up there and say what's up.
I was like, okay.
Wait, you got on air?
No, no, no.
On air, no.
Dead air!
They were like wrapped up after a show and Levitard and Stugats were in there.
And I was just like, bro, can I get a picture with them?
Those are like my heroes.
still are.
And the producer was like, yeah, dude.
I was like, all right.
I just don't think anybody else
was fucking with him like that.
So they're like, oh, bro, you're a fan?
And I was like, hell yeah.
Yeah, I feel like you get it from your dad too.
But like your dad doesn't seem to be that way,
but he just has an end with everything.
He does.
Yeah, I don't know what is going on with that.
But he doesn't, he doesn't outwardly like,
express it
no but
I'm surprised that you weren't back
for the All-Star game
because your dad somehow scored
like a suite from a company
damn
I didn't even ask him
I should up
I'm sure he probably had something
and was just waiting for the ask
playing in the game
it's got to be the mafia
or something
I don't know
something bro
he's got some hold of
he's like we
talking about. He's the Midwest mafia.
He's the Indiana mafia. You know, you got the East Coast, New York, and they'll kill
you. But excuse me. God dang. I love you, burpee boy.
Man, do you ever have Jimmy Johns anymore?
I'll go on little runs where I do like hardcore, but I haven't seen a Jimmy John's out here.
There's so many subways. There's everywhere you turn out here, there's a subway.
open 24 hours, too.
That's dangerous for you.
I know, but it seems a little like,
eh, 24 hours.
Like, I don't want Subway to be open for that long.
Yeah.
It seems a little sketch.
Once things start being open for 20.
I know.
Once shit starts being open 24 hours,
I start getting a little hesitant about it.
I'm like, how quality are we talking here?
But, uh, yeah,
Jimmy Johns.
Yeah.
There'll be like little spurts I go through
where that shit is just fire.
Dude, I had it today.
So,
I'm just,
I got the Jimmy Cubano.
I switched it up a little bit.
It was like ham, bacon,
cheese,
pickles, and mustard.
Fire.
Are you kidding me, man?
Hey,
and the bread?
You know,
sometimes you get Jimmy John's bread
that's like,
okay,
this is the last,
badge here.
All right.
But still pretty good.
Oh, yeah.
But this stuff, it was like,
when I would, like, grab the sandwich,
like, my fingers would, like,
fall into the bread.
You know what I mean?
Like, it was fresh.
It was dope.
Like, it was, I couldn't believe it.
Bunt cake.
Yeah.
That's what that is.
Nice.
Dude, their bread is so good.
You can kind of just get,
you could get, like, cheese on the bread and be like,
that's good.
Cheese.
some hot peppers and
or some Jimmy peppers and
mayo or mustard
I can make something out of that.
Perfect.
Snack?
Dude, the best
PR box I ever got sent
was Jimmy Johns
and they sent me just
a cardboard box
full of salt and
vinegar chips from there.
No way.
Bro, it was insane.
Did they know you liked it or something?
Yeah, I just like fucking tweeted about it or something.
Oh my God, that's a dream.
And they were, like it was in the little end of,
it was just like they went to the,
the local Jimmy Johns on the corner,
grabbed all the bags of them and just dumped them into a,
I mean,
so there was the little bags.
So I could just snag on those,
have a sandwich,
have those two,
like, oh,
I was taking care of, man.
We went through them way too quickly.
I miss them.
We were doing this thing.
in college where we'd pop up
at a Jimmy John's when they were about to close
and they'd give us all the bread
at the end of the day.
Dude.
That is some college shit right there.
Oh yeah, dude. I'd have a trash bag
of Jimmy John's bread.
It's where I got.
Like a big ass trash bag.
Don't you just want to
have somebody take that bag and smack you
over the head with it?
Oh, I probably asked. Like, bro,
hit me with this bag of bread.
It was like a Santa Claus.
Talking about Christmas again.
It was like a Santa Claus.
Like, dude, just whirl that thing around.
100%.
Bro, just knock me in the next week, bro.
Right into a river.
With those big old baguettes of Jimmy John's French bread.
Dude, we were chopping them up,
putting, making peanut butter and jelly on them.
Oh.
What?
Gas, dude, putting chips on them.
Chips on a peanut butter and jelly on Jimmy John's.
bread oh wow there you go clubhouse gas there it is hey what's your college recipe clubhouse
what's your college recipe jimmy john's bread pb and jay crunch up some chips chop it in half
best meal of your life damn that's amazing so good that uh hey was it before or after your jimmy john's trip
but you stopped by Kudoba and, you know,
picked up some,
picked up some plastic wear, too.
Oh, yeah.
Just, dude, the amount of times
I've just taken 34 forks
from Kudoba.
Stupid.
Literally.
I was living off of Jimmy John's
thrown out bread and
Kudoba plastic for.
I'll do it.
I could be a millionaire.
I'll still take all the silverware.
I mean, that silverware is no joke, man.
It's fire.
It's quality.
The Chipotle Black Forks, dude.
Yeah.
They need to, they need to downgrade.
Those bitches aren't break.
Uh-uh.
Subtle flex.
I opened up for Nikki Glazer this past weekend.
Wentner Green Room took everything in me not to steal all the plastic plates.
She's on stage.
There's nobody in the green room.
I'm like, bro,
and why is the first thing
that crosses my mind?
How much food can I steal?
You're a klepto, man.
I think I was just hungry.
No, but we talked about that
a few months ago.
You're just like, nothing more I love than stealing.
Like stealing shit that I don't need.
That's just like totally,
it's not expensive.
It's not,
just bullshit, bro.
Just bullshit, yeah.
They had, like, plastic silverware
all wrapped up in the napkins.
I was like, what if I just took, like, four of these?
You know?
Bag of, bag of peanut M&M's family size.
I was like, ooh.
Well, someone's going to notice that.
Yeah, I wasn't taking that.
Four of the wrapped-up plastic wares.
Yeah, whatever.
We want them gone anyways.
Family-sized peanut M-N-M-Ns?
Okay.
The bag wasn't opened.
I was like, can't be the first guy.
I'm just the opener guy.
Come on.
Come on.
If it would have been just like a personal, you know, just like the regular,
classic rectangle size bag.
Would I have taken it?
That'd have been more fair.
That'd have been more fair.
Yeah, yeah.
But that seems like it's somebody's, dude.
You just see a, like, an individual peanut M&M's bag laying around.
Like, somebody brought that for a reason.
I don't know if I'm, I don't know if I'm stealing that.
Fun size.
Give me that.
I was a show, though.
Went well, bro.
God,
Nikki's so funny and she's just not even trying.
And I'm like,
oh my God,
this is amazing.
Just full theater.
Insane.
Love it.
It's almost less like,
less nerve-wracking
in a theater full of people
because it's so overwhelming.
You're like,
fuck it.
Yeah.
Then I go to an open mic
with like four comedians in the crowd and I'm like
I'm gonna kill myself.
Yeah.
It's really,
it's really weird.
Like lowest stakes ever,
I'm like,
I'm gonna die.
Highest stakes ever,
I'm like,
whatever.
Yeah.
Well,
yeah,
I think a bunch of different factors happen there.
You know,
where it's like,
I think group thing comes into play on both ends.
So if it's the open mic
with super low ceilings and there's five people there
and there are all other comics,
none of them are going to laugh
and they're definitely not going to laugh,
but then they're not going to laugh
because other people aren't laughing
so it's just like fuck.
But then when you're at a big theater like that,
people are liquored up,
people are out for a night,
they're excited to see Nikki.
It's a big thing, you know, like,
there's a bunch of it.
And that's,
that's regardless of anybody's material,
in my opinion.
You know, I think that's just,
that's just kind of a factor, you know?
Oh, yeah.
It was at a casino too.
So they're just there having it.
They're just trying to have a, like a great night.
So it's like, all right, fuck it.
Right.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
Let her rip.
Dude, I'm starting to get a little baseball hair.
Let me see.
See this a little bit?
Are you going Mollet?
A little bit.
Should you try Mollet?
Yeah, dude.
I've been cut my own hair like on the sides.
I've trimmed up like I've been keeping my ears clean.
So I'm keeping the hair off my ears and like keeping it kind of tight right here and then just letting all this back.
I like it, dude.
I like it.
Hey, I do.
A little mustache?
Man, I can't do that.
You sure?
Yeah, I don't know.
My facial hair just don't work like that.
Dude, I think you got it right here at least.
I don't.
I don't.
I appreciate that.
But I don't.
Yeah, just go mullet.
Mullet mania, bro.
mullet mullet mullet nard
hey you got a minute
can we get a minute it's been a while
I know you got something
in it
Russell Wilson minute
here's an interesting situation
here we go I'm starting the timer
no it's not a minute it's not a minute
I just need your opinion
maybe we get going on this
hit me
so let's say you're at a buddy's house
and you're there watching hoops
and you're hanging
and you're there for like four hours
but then you have to leave
for a little bit
to maybe you got to go check on your dog
maybe you got to take food
to your wife maybe you got to
I don't know what you got to do but you got to leave for a little bit
but then you come back after like
40 minutes you come back
and you're staying and cracking open another beer
and you're hanging again
how long are you gone 30
45
35
40 to an hour
yeah
okay
come back
you're back
you're cracking open another beer
you really have to shit though
so on your upon your return
you come in you're like
hey he's back
hey right on
and then you go to the bathroom right away
because you really got a shit
yeah
Is that fair game?
Is that a, oh, your first thing you're doing a shitting?
I say that it's a continuation of your first appearance there.
Yeah, you've made your mark.
You've laid the groundwork in the first half.
Okay.
You've proven yourself.
So he's, oh, yeah, it was that Buffalo chicken dip you ate, huh?
You know, people know.
Okay.
But if you just walk in and have to shit, bro,
That's a little, you should have stopped off at the speedway.
Yeah.
But what you're saying is upon first arrival.
Can't shit.
But second time around first arrival.
Yes.
Thank you.
It's green light.
Why did something happen?
It's a continuation.
This exact situation happened to me at my friend.
And so I walked, I did it.
Yeah, I walked out of the bathroom and I'd been in there, you know,
He wasn't like I was just pissing.
You know, like, I'd been in there.
And so then he was like, did you just shit?
I was like, yeah.
And he kind of gave me a little.
He was just kind of joking, but kind of gave me a little bit of a hard time about how like I just got there.
And I was like, bro, I was just here for five hours.
Like, I've been here all day.
Yeah.
You're good.
Yes, I just got back here.
Yeah.
You earned it.
You stay for five hours.
You get a shit.
if you take away that 35 minute hiatus where I had to run somewhere.
Part of the family.
Yeah, moving in damn near.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're good, bro.
The coast is clear.
Cool.
I thought so, too.
I was like, yeah, if somebody, like, if that happened, I'd be, yeah, absolutely.
Okay.
This is just a, we're, we're keeping it going.
Yeah.
I like when, I'd be very happy.
if you came over and you felt comfortable enough to take a shit at my house,
I'd be like,
he feels good here.
I would never ride somebody for taking a shit at my house.
If I have a party,
I want everybody to shit.
Get comfy,
take your shoes off,
take a shit,
take a shower,
like,
let's make this home for just a couple hours.
Come on.
Do whatever you got to do.
You gotta get the hell out.
Eat all my,
yeah,
then when it's time,
get the fuck out for sure.
Yeah, it's like, I think in that situation, you know, upon second arrival after the brief half time, you know, and taking a shit like that, like, it's like when your football team, like your coach calls a time out like two minutes into the second half.
And you're like, I mean, not ideal, but you have them.
So if you need to use it, then.
Yeah.
I get that.
Oh.
Doesn't get it at all.
Stupid.
I get that equals no idea what you're talking about.
We need to go back to those, bro.
Oh, no, dude.
That was fun.
Any clubhouse?
Yeah, let me plug my laptop in here real quick.
Brief, pause.
I don't think so.
Kevin G.
He's all over-ticked out.
Pretty funny.
What is it?
I've probably seen it.
he's just like this little kid who like has a speech impediment.
I can't remember if he has something wrong with him.
But he's just called like Kevin G and he's always singing and shit.
I don't know how I miss some of the stuff on the internet.
Because I'm always on.
Yeah, I don't know.
All right.
Let's start with the Chuck.
Nice.
Chuck says idea because why not?
I love it.
A fan of y'all's content has definitely inspired things I've done with my pod.
Had an idea for the two of you.
Not sure if you've seen the Smosh video
where the two guys do the same character
and try not to laugh.
It went viral and everything,
but I think your two personalities
that could be hilarious
and also do it for a good cause.
So the idea is you both decide
on the same character or one,
you're both can't help but laugh
and obviously answer those insane questions
as them and the loser does one of the following.
Shaves their head to donate for a cancer group,
gets a tattoo decided by the winner.
Oh, wow.
But doesn't see it until it's finished.
man i don't know chuck um i'm not sure i'm familiar that's a lot of stuff to do
it's a big yeah i mean we have to be the same character and whoever laughs first
could be funny but you what i what i've always wanted to do have you seen these on ticot like
two dudes will have their mouth full of water and they'll listen to like a funny audio and
whoever laughs first or spits out the water it loses.
I want to do that so bad.
Who chooses the clips, you know?
Oh, yeah, true.
I don't know.
You'd have to have a third person probably do it.
But I laugh at the dumbest shit so easy that I,
that moment of trying not to laugh is my favorite moment, like ever.
It'd just be funny to do that.
Yeah, we could try that.
I have seen that.
I have.
From D.D.
Big Dad.
Hey, guys.
Big dads?
Big dads.
That's a subject.
That's crazy.
Hope you both had a nice weekend for Easter.
I imagine the baby's first Easter outfit was almost as fire as Kyle Vanden Bush's blazing red contact lenses.
Wow.
Question for both of you.
What individual sports moment do you remember your dad's getting the most excited about and then the one they got most pissed about?
It could be a game they watched that you were playing in or one that they were watching with you.
Slop my ass like I'm sitting.
Sebastian Janakowski trotting out to attempt another 76-yard field goal.
I can't wait.
I can't wait to hear this one from your dad.
My dad really didn't like gas me up too much.
Like if I had a good play, he wouldn't have been like all excited for me.
But one time, like we were playing St. Simon or something.
It was like sixth grade.
and I rock somebody that I didn't even know what was going on
but I just I hit somebody out of bounds and one of the dads on the sideline
the St. Barnabas sideline was like oh you hear that hit
and then it was me and my dad was like yeah that was a good moment
that was a cool moment and I was like cool like I don't even remember that really
but we were playing St. Simon and I was always scared of St. Simon
so I was like wow I hit somebody hard against St. Simon good for me
felt good to hear that.
Moment that he wasn't,
that he didn't like, bro.
I'll never forget this.
Indie Sports Park.
Seventh grade.
No?
Sixth grade.
Playing like AAU on some stupid rebels team.
Like, not that great.
We're playing Southport or something.
Like one of those games that I think we're going to win.
Bro, I go to galleons before the game.
get a black Adidas headband
and I'm hype
like bro like maybe I'll have like 10 points
you know with a headband pretty lit
dude my dad pops up at our game
I like I don't know
I like get fouled or something
I'm on the ground I look over to the side line
I see my dad he goes
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
didn't score a point for the rest of the game
yeah I knew that
going to fly the coach fee.
Bro, come on, dude.
Just let me,
let me have some drip out there for a little bit.
Let me feel myself.
Nope.
Nothing.
Hey, took the headband off,
checked back into the game,
just the worst player of all time.
Right.
So just,
you're mentally just checked out.
My friends are like,
why did you take your headband on?
I'm like,
I don't know,
I just didn't really feel like good.
Lion and shit.
I didn't,
uh,
not too much comes
of mind of like sports
that I was playing
but I could think of a lot of
like sports that we were watching together
um
oh shit
okay
wait one that they were watching
okay
um
I'd say most excited
I'd say
I'd say
who come to mind
three come to mind
three come to mind
Oh, and this is when you're watching a game or when you were playing.
Did I fuck it up?
No, you could do yours that way.
It said that you were playing in or that you were watching with it.
I got another one, but go ahead.
The excited ones are all pretty much the same.
And so are the mad ones.
But it's just so, like the examples of the games that I can remember.
2010 Steelers Ravens Sunday Night Football.
in Baltimore
Okay
What month
Oh December bro
It's like week 14
Yeah those games
Those games were like
Not safe for work
Hey Ravens are wearing
Purple Tops black pants
Best combo in the NFL
Crazy
Okay
We're down 10 to 6
With like
Less than five minutes to go
Probably less than four minutes to go
Is this the James Harrison game
no this is the
Troy Palomalu blitz off the edge
strip sack
so we can't do nothing right
like they we are offensively
can't do nothing
big Ben gets his nose broken by
Helodin Nata like it's just one of those
raven Steelers and we're like
shit man like this is we lose this game
they're going to have the north and we got to go wild
card that nobody wants to do that
Palomalu man
TP off the edge strip sack
pick it up. Both me and my dad are jumping up
in the living room.
You know, just fucking screaming.
Fuck you, black, oh, fuck you, like.
Everything you could think of.
That comes to mind.
The Steelers, randomly the Steelers Chargers
Monday night football game in 2015 that Mike Vick started.
Whoa.
Big Ben was hurt.
Mike Vick was starting.
San Diego on Monday night football,
Levion Bell at the horn,
at the gun,
last second,
like last play of the game reaches over to the goal line
and scores a touchdown to win.
Same reaction.
And then Dexter Fowler hitting the home run
in game seven of the World Series
to lead off the game.
Both me and my dad,
I remember,
like, jumping into each other's arms
during those moments.
Blackout moments.
pissed about.
I remember Hobby Baez and I think
Game 4
of the World Series.
Bays. Hobby Bays. And game four
of the World Series in 2016
is, yeah, the Cubs
were already down two games to one.
And then like we're getting our ass kicked.
And a hobby just like
fucking threw
his bat and not like just so, missed
a ball by like three feet and struck
out. And my dad
freaking just gets up. And just gets up.
just goes, no, fuck him.
And I was like, even me, I was like, he had one of his friends over and I was like,
oh, I looked at him and we were both like, damn.
I was like, come on, man.
I was like, come on, dad.
Like, come on now.
But I'm always the one doing that shit.
Real it back in pops.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let the beast out for a little bit.
Yeah.
Well, actually, he like went on a little bit of a rant about it.
He was like, no, he goes up and he does this kind of bullshit.
Fuck him.
Oh, I would love to see that, bro.
Oh, my, that would get me gassed up.
I would be so invested after that.
You want to know what to do, though, bro.
You'd be sitting like a cat on the ground just like scrolling on your phone like this because you would.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
Inside, though, I'd be like, oh, this is, we're doing this.
We're all in.
We're all in.
All right, fuck it.
Where's the face paint?
Where's your other one?
You said you had the other.
Oh, this is, um, damn it.
I forget what bowl game it was, but bowl season at my dad's house, we're like, uh, God,
I can't, not Liberty Mutual.
I can't remember the bull name.
I can't believe I can't remember it.
But Nebraska is,
The AutoZone Liberty Bowl?
No.
Oh, A, the Alamo Bowl.
Classic.
Michigan, I think it was Nebraska, Michigan, Nebraska.
Nebraska, like, it's a tight game the whole, the whole time.
It's like Lloyd Carr era at Michigan.
Like, it's just one of those can't miss, like, December 23rd night games.
Like, oh, everything's, I think Florida is playing Cincinnati after, like, that, that feel.
Maybe like 2008 or 9 or something like that.
But, so there's like two seconds left.
Michigan's doing the shit where they've got a lateral it all across the field.
You know what I mean?
You might know what I'm talking about.
Chad Henney throws it to Mike Hart.
Mike Hart throws it across the field to a lineman.
The lineman fumbles it.
Jason Avant.
No, no, no.
I forget who it was.
A Michigan wide receiver throws it up.
Throws it to Steve Breston.
Fastest guy.
Dude, like, you know, he played for the Cardinals.
He's like a good receiver.
bro catches it on like their own 30 or 40 and he's like making his way like dude he has it he has like
20 yards to go and then just some Nebraska dude just hits him out of bounds and the game's over and the
whole time he's got like two tight ends behind him dude if he would have just like pitched it you can
look it up alamo michigan final play lateral if he would have just pitched it back like
tight end would have caught it scored easy
Michigan wins like craziest bowl game ending of all time
but he just got tackled out of bounds
dude my dad was going crazy bro
pitch it back
and dude that that Chris or
the Christmas before my dad bought like the
Bob like boxing dummy
so that was just
I'm looking at it right now
that was just that the boxing dummy was just in that living room
like divorced dad house style like dude we just had shit like laying around dude and me and my dad
just started wailing on bob the the boxing dummy just but and i just caught my dad like
just slapping the shit out of the boxing dummy going pitch it back breastin just yeah i'm getting
a little too excited but my dad just beating the hell out of this boxing dummy just screaming
pitch it back breast and it's so funny to me these guys uh tickey's
in bios and on our website
official joey molanero.com, benedictictip
petlizzi.com, wherever you follow us on social
media. Leave a rating,
leave a review, send it to five people
to join the clubhouse, as always.
Watch us on YouTube as well.
Cool. Email us a team of these guys
at gmail.com. Love hearing from you guys and have you
part of the show. So cool.
Right on. Bye-bye.
Hey, what was our, what was our question
for the
college recipe?
Damn, what was? Oh, what was your
college recipe. Mine was
Jimmy John's bread, P.B. and J
with chips crumbled up what was yours. Leave it
in the comments. We'll talk about it next time.
All right. Clubhouse.
See you soon. These guys.
Freddie Mitchell.
Bye-bye.
