THESE GUYS! - The Priest Podcast

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

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No one's invoking the Santa card harder than a mom on Christmas Eve at Christmas Eve Mass. Hey, your last chance. Your last chance. TG64. The guys. Just the clubhouse and the guys. TG64. What's up, bro?

You got more Christmas decorations this week? Zero. Just the candle stuff? Rocking it, dog. That's it. And some of these and some of it. Oh. Either these are a big-ass poinds.

I love the poinsetta. I know. It's just like too... It was too much of an ordeal. God, do you remember how many pointietas would be at like the front of the church? How come that's all they cared about? Like, what was the church decoration lady?

She's like, I don't know, just poinsettas. What's the budget for December? So many of them, dude. Dude, the Christmas tree's on stage. Like on the midnight mass? Bro, midnight mass is so lit. The most lit thing the church has ever done. Who is like, bro, put that shit at midnight.

That's, that's like some, that's like a priest. A priest that used to party. It was like put that shit at midnight, dog. That should be like a priest podcast, midnight mass. Who's not listening? That's pretty tight. Why has there never been a cool priest that's just like? No, there has been.

Yeah. There has been. How would I know? I haven't been to church in 28 years. Right. can be few and far between, but there has been. Yeah, the Poinsettas, like, you can't even see the altar boys or the priest, because it's just

a jungle of Poinsettas. I like it like that. Like, cozy. How do they get so many, you know? Like, I feel like they'd run out because there's so many Catholic churches and they're all just cramming them full of fucking Poinsettas. Yeah.

Have you, what are your thoughts on, what are your thoughts on the song, the Christmas song? What do you think? It's really, it's not one of my faves, but I'll rock with it. It's got to, it's got to be like, it's got to be like 24th. All right. Yeah. You have to be at church on Christmas Eve. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's got to be like peak. This is Christmas right now. Like you can't, you can't listen to that shit today. Can't listen to that on the 11th. It's so serious.

I know. Like you have to be driving to your grandma's. Or Midnight Mass. Midnight Mass is a little too kinky, bro. I don't know. It's not that serious yet. I look at it as it's like, it's like, it's kind of like it's kind of spooky a little bit like it's at midnight obviously duh you know so you're let's say you're driving home after midnight mass and you have that song on nobody out all dark you're maybe looking up at santa but you're also like holy shit this Christmas is here holy shit like who's in the who's in the car with you uh your sister's asleep right next to you at least in my case my younger sister's asleep right next to me my mom and dad are kind of like trying to hush, hush, figure out the plan for what they got to do for when they get home for...

Oh, my God. The plan. The Christmas plan, dude. When does that go down with parents? I'm in the midst of it right now. And luckily, my son's only one, so, like, he doesn't know either way. Oh, yeah. You can just go...

You can shout it across the house. Yeah, exactly. We were already doing, like, the... You know, he's sitting right there. And it's like, Ry was Rapidson presents. And she asked the... So which ones are like coming from us and which ones are from the big man. Called them the big man.

The big man. The Christmas plan. Dude, what about when your kid's like 10? You really got to have your shit together. Well, by that point, probably he will know that what it is. Maybe like. All right. Well, then like eight, six.

Five or six. I feel like it's like peak Santa. Yeah. Damn. I was out here like 12 years old, like still believing. I was until nine. I mean, I was. I'll admit it. I probably was 10, bro. Ten's like third grade, right? I can't believe your sister's didn't ruin it for you.

No, they're in. My second oldest sister is, like, she still believes in Santa, bro. Well, it's because Tony's such a grinch that you're like, I thought for sure she would have been like. No, she was just like, he can have it, bro. My sister's sleeping on Christmas. my oldest sister would sleep Tony would sleep it on Christmas till like 3 p.m. I'd be like, get the fuck up. That is so fucks.

Are you serious, dude? It's like a literal nightmare for me. We're like, maybe like you're hungover or something. Like you don't even realize it and you, on Christmas Eve you got too drunk. And all of a sudden it's like 11 a.m. When you wake up, like, there goes. I would be so ashamed of myself. Kiss and goodbye.

I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror. No. You have a whole... I woke up late on Christmas. fuck. Can't. Even if I had zero things to do and I was with no one, I would wake up at 4 a.m. on Christmas.

Absolutely. And I know it makes me so happy thinking about, like, how I know in two weeks, I'm going to be doing the same thing, and I'll probably text your ass at like 4 a.m. and you'll text right back. Oh, yeah.

You'll be like, dude, that is the one Christmas text that I look forward to. I'm like, Joey's about to hit me with a fuck, with a dagger today. You're like, I think last year you're just like, best time. You sent it at like 11 a.m. or something.

You're like, hey, best time. Enjoy it now. Because it's, hey, hey, BF, hey, 2 p.m. It's over. Yep. That's it. It's over. It's over. Every year. The only, two p.

Hey, this, this year, 2 p.m. on Christmas Eve. It's over. No, dude. Get that shit out of it. We talked about that. It's just funny to talk about like, Damn, it's over. Right now it's peak, bro. We're in it. Yeah. There we are.

We're in it, dude. We're in the fight. Mr. Mr. Second Show, though, on the best day of the year. Wow. Two shows. Get your tickies in the description. That's cool, man. It's gonna be insane. 10.30. That's for the late, we're getting funky there. We're getting... That's the naughty show. That's the show that's like, yo. I don't know, bro. That's the food fight.

show. No holds bars. Throw it at me. Throw it at me. No holds bar! Yeah, what the fuck does that mean, dude? I can't believe you said that. No, no clue. But whenever there's something going down, any radio promo, you know, the no hold bars vent. Like, what does that mean? A gang of motorcycle dudes are going to show up?

Not holding the bars on their bike? Yeah. Maybe that's weird. Going back, though, but maybe that should be the clubhouse thing of the week for emails or comments or whatever. It's just like, lay out, lay out your game plan. Lay out your Christmas. Are you, are you waking up at 4 a.m.? Or are you one of those freaks like Tony that's like, I don't care. I'm sleeping into 11. This is my day off type shit. Christmas Day game plan. Let's hear from house. Wow, that's a good one. Yep. Wow. The time breakdown. You really did Midnight Mess? I think I did like maybe in like high school and I still

went to church, but it wasn't that serious. Or maybe I'd go with like a girl's family or something, you know what I mean? Ooh. Because you're just like, I guess they're going, so I guess I'm going. I love how that's the one mass of the year

too, where everybody's just like, got throwing a tie, got to wear a suit. Is it? Yeah, dude, I remember you know, except for the rejects in the gym just like, that is like, you're bawling out, man. I remember you know, in grade school and should have been like, oh damn, like such a such,

Let chick's wearing that Like on Christmas This Eve mask a little bit of people are showing out Yeah Christmas Eve mask was I mean it's not there It's not up with Easter is it on the fits I think it might be

I mean those are one too for sure But Christmas Eve man people are One because you're getting festive But two you're dressing up So you combine those two things together You're not really getting festive on Easter Yeah maybe you'll throw on a tie If you don't usually wear one

But like Christmas Eve you're going Tie with candy canes on it with a fucking suit jacket like it's on man like girls yeah you're so happy you're so happy on Christmas mask dude girls are wearing like little you know like kind of like you're like should you be wearing that

like that's kind of like naughty elf shit kind of but I mean really just sitting in a mask suit just like all anyone's thinking about is just like what everyone else is about to go do yeah like what what lame ass shit are the Johnson's doing bro. You know, like that weird nerdy family. You're like, they can't be having fun. Right. Was their conversation over their, you know, weird order in. Merry Christmas, Sarah. Like, ew, bro. I don't want to be part of that Christmas at all. Weird.

Everybody in the church thinks they have the best Christmas. Yeah. It's always a competent. Oh, you're not touching our Christmas. No, no. Dude, how about, will you play beer pong at yours? Ooh, cool. God, that's weird. Oh, when you were talking about, you get to church like a little later and you get shipped into the gym. Oh, dude. It's, I mean, if you're not at church on Christmas Eve, like 45 minutes at least prior to, you know, prior to the opening walkdown prior to tip off, you're in gym, dude.

Coin toss. Toin cost. Bro, I prayed to be in the gym on Christmas Eve because that's the most like, yeah, right, church ever. It's so fun, dude. Yeah. You're like, oh, we're in the gym. I'm getting in trouble and I don't even give a shit.

But you were on your shit because you're like, this is the last night I got to prove it for Santa. That's true. Yeah, it was very. And hey, and your mom was letting you know it too, dude. No one's invoking the Santa card harder than a mom on Christmas Eve at Christmas Eve Mass. Hey, your last chance. Your last chance. Yeah, he's coming the night, but he hasn't come.

It might all come down to this. Just saying, your mom before Christmas being like your coach before the big game. Hey, it's do or die. Uh-huh. Winner go home, you know? I'm saying it's literally like week 18. You're looking at like, you're looking at different results. You know what I mean?

Like saying maybe you need a little help, right? Maybe you need a little help to get. It's like the playoff picture in the hunt. Yeah. In the hunt for presents. Yeah, dude. In the hunt. You're like wild card, dude.

And then it's like clinched. My sisters were always. clinch, bro. I was always in the hunt. My sister, Maddie, was clinched by the Labor Day, if not. They have the X by their name. Like, they got a home game. They're sitting at home. They got their feet up.

They don't got anything to worry about. Joey, yeah. He's needed a little bit of help here coming down. Yeah. Joey needs the bills to lose. Yeah, your sister's got home field advantage and a buy. She's like, literally feet kicked up. She's asleep at 9 p.m. on Christmas

Eve. Bro. Her face is like this. Just peaceful as shit. Meanwhile, I'm up, like, trying to take out the trash

and shit one more time. Like, can I, like, clean the sink or, go to bed. You're making it worse. I'm like, fuck.

I'm not getting shit, bro. Always in the hunt, bro. In the hunt on the last 10 minutes of Christmas Eve, still in the hunt. Yep.

Yeah, the wild card is your cousin that, like, climbs on the furniture a little too much. Yeah. But he's a good, good kid, but he just did that that one time. And your dad was like, he was getting a little crazy.

Like he's in the picture right now, but he's a wild card. Like, you never know. He could do like a WWE move off the back of the couch and break grandma's table. Yeah. All of a sudden, he's booted. Yeah, you need your cousin to do a cartwheel or something and kick something down. So you can. That's the bill's losing right there.

Why, hey, dude, why every year, though, low key? Not on Christmas terms? Why are the bills always, they always need to lose? Every year. If the bills lose, we're in every year. The Steelers, yeah. They don't need to lose, but they need other people to. And they're always scoreboard watching.

So, fitting. Steelers during the game. The last like six years of my fandom, it's like the last week of the season, I haven't even watched their game. I'm watching the scoreboard of the other games that I need them to lose. I don't even know what happened in the,

finale. I'm like, I was watching fucking Skyler Thompson play the Pats. That is, that is fun though. Like, are they down? Oh my God. Yes. Oh, my God. They're down by two touchdown. The craziest, the craziest shit happens in that game. You're like, no way they just scored. They tied it up. Two times. Let me tell you, Ben, two times. Okay. I can't, I get away, bro. Hey, is this a minute? Can we make this the minute? Yeah. All right. All right. Let's go. 2013. Steelers are eight and eight. Okay. They beat the Browns on the last day of the year to be eight and eight, right? They needed three things to happen.

Two of the three things had happened. The third thing they needed was the chiefs to beat the Chargers in San Diego. They're in San Diego at the time. I'm dying, bro. I believe it was Cairo Santos, who was the kicker. No, maybe it was. Somebody will correct me. I know they will.

Such a kicker name. Or, yeah. He had to hit like a 40-yarder. For the chiefs to win. and then put the Steelers in the playoffs as the last wildcard. 40-yarders, time expires. I mean, it's not like a far kick.

It's not maybe a gimmie, but you should make that. It's a tough one in the playoff. It's a tough one to get in the playoffs, you know? In San Diego, though, the perfect weather. I remember it. Okay, okay. Everything. Dude fucking misses it by like a foot to the right.

Like, some of the Chiefs players are already starting to celebrate because it looks like it's going to sneak in, and then it curves of the last second, and he misses it. Chargers go on to win Steelers miss the playoffs Then in 2018 Steelers have to beat the bingles

In week 17 They do that We have to root for the Browns To beat the Ravens On the last Isn't that kind of fun though To like root for the team You hate a little bit

It was fucked up Yeah but it was kind of fun And like Baker Mayfield Was a quarterback And they're driving They're driving the last minute Of the game To go win the game

Right And they're getting into field goal range And I remember The Steelers They were showing all the Cedars players are sitting on the field we're all looking root for the Browns. Hang on on every

play for the fucking Browns like it's our team right because we needed them to be and Baker they blitz them really really hard and he just tried to get rid of it and somebody tipped it up in the air and the Ravens picked it off and there it went but and then yeah literally last year like we're playing the

Browns we got to beat them and then you needed the dolphins to beat the Pats or something like I can't Crazy. I hate that game. I hate that game. Dolphins, Patriots, I hate that game. Too bright. And it's, of course, it didn't happen. But that's what happens when you putts around and you lose two games in a row at home to two-win teams in December. Like, you got a scoreboard watch. We talked to. Hey, don't put yourself in that situation. Don't put yourself in that situation.

You carry your own business and you don't have to scoreboard watch. You won't be there. You won't be counting on the brands if you don't put yourself in that situation. You won't be counting on yourself having to behave real well at Christmas Eve. You don't put yourself in that situation. You'd be good early. You take care of it. That's right. Exactly.

So that's what Christmas Eve is now. I mean, that's what the Santa Watch is, the playoff picture. Your sister's always clenched. You're always in the hunt or in the wild card. You just hope to not be eliminated before week 16. It never happened either where like one of our sisters did something stupid on Christmas

Eve to take the pressure off us. Hmm, no. God, wouldn't that have been nice? Actually, mine did, because my baby sister, God love her, she's kind of, she is a wild card. She's a wild card. Wow, lucky for you, dude. Yeah, yeah. But she's nine years younger than me, so by that point, it was like, I was already out.

I was in high school, and she's the one that's, yeah, dude. But I'm laughing about it, but. You're in the Hall of Fame already. Now, my sister was in the Hall of Fame. I just had like a nice, yeah. A couple Pro Bowl. Pro Bowl. All NFL.

Went to Hawaii a couple times, maybe one of... Yeah. Good career, good career. But, you know, right. You know, I'm making like my high school or hometown hall thing. I'm not making Canton, you know? Like, die. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. It was street after me or something. Maybe you're on the outside of the stadium? Maybe. Opening up a box? N64. I do have that video of me getting N64.

I was literally... I'll never forget that. bro. You sent that to me and I was like that's got to be fake. That's really real. It's crazy, dude. O. G. Best present ever right there in 64. Is that number one? Yeah, dude. That's

me and all. That could be another clubhouse question. Best present. We'll save it for next week. Yeah, that's true. Because we got to, will we be able to do in studio next week? What day is it? May. Probably. Probably. Probably. Monday would be the 18th. I think so. I'll let you know later. But yeah, maybe.

It's gonna be crunched. time. The Christmas episode. It wouldn't be right if we didn't. In studio. But yeah, I know. We got to get on that. A little Santa Santa dance. I wish they played that song on like Christmas radio. That's a fire

song. It's amazing. It just makes you think how many Christmas songs are there that they aren't playing? Right. Because I'm like, you're not playing that one? That's a banger. And it's like very happy. That one. And it's quick. you know, you're only in there for like a minute and a half, minute 40.

Yeah. That one, the Christmas Vacation theme song. Yeah. Man. Dude, there's a on Serious XM radio. This is some nerd, whatever. There's like three flex channels that they turn into like seasonal ones. Yeah.

And there's three Christmas channels going all day right now, dude. One's called Jolly. And the DJ is Jimmy Fallon, bro. So, best Christmas. channel of all time. It's insane. Wow. And he's just like between songs, he's like breaking it down. He's like saying it's pre-recorded, but it's just, it's just fire. You'd love it. A little voice track. Do you ever have to do that? Um, no, but it's kind of, it's kind of my dream too. That's just fun, man. Yeah. Just when you have a little quick hit and then you hit that post,

you know, right into that song. Yeah. It is, it, why is it, why does it sound? Why does it feel so good? It's just satisfying, you know? Yeah. No lead up. No, it just sounds clean fucking bang. Yep. Right off, man. It's a send off.

Sends your sleigh right out. Dude, I went to, uh, on dancer. I had a, uh, Party City run last week. Wow. It was awesome. Yeah. It was, uh, remember the OG skit? Just standing outside of Party City.

Hey, what are you doing tonight? Hey, what are you doing tonight? anything going on? Like they have to be gone to a party. What are you doing later? You got anything? Yeah. Wow.

Yeah, it was, it felt good. It felt weird. So, yeah, for those, like, me and Ben, that was all we did

when we first started. We could go to Party City. And we, what a grind. They felt like we needed to get all sorts of, like, costumes and, like,

props and shit for our different videos. And then eventually we were like, why are we spending $82 that we definitely don't have at party city? every week for a video that, you know, doesn't need it necessarily. Nah. Stopped with it.

But still, every now and then, it's like, sometimes it's good to just go in there, you know? Sometimes you might need a wig, you know? Sometimes it'll just put it all together. Like, I went and I got my... Yep. I got my Santa beard. Trust me. Been there.

You know, it's like, this is just something that's valuable to... You never know where you're going to need this this time of year, you know? Perfect. You're hosting Christmas parties. You're going to Christmas parties. Maybe for us, we've got to do a video. We got to do a pod.

Perfect. God, that's a nice one, too. You put some pantine ProVee in there? Jesus Christ, that's bouncing. I don't want to, you know, I got the hat. What are we doing, bro? You should have had this on the whole time. Well, I was saving it because I want to, you know,

have the whole fit next week for our Christmas episode. But I mean... Oh, my God. I'd kiss you. Ho, ho, ho, baby. Let's go. Eat some cookies and slap my ass. It was kind of...

Make me fly. It was kind of barren in there, though. It was weird. Sad. That's sad. It was like, I want to say Friday at like, I don't know. 1.30 in the afternoon. Yeah, so...

It seems like it'd be popping on a Friday. But, like, even that, it felt like it had already been wiped out. Like, I don't know if there was like a Santa bar crawl or like something where... But like, yeah. Pickens was slim, man. people were out picking up their shit apparently. Party City is always interesting. Because it's like there's one aisle that has all the heat.

And then the rest of the store you're like, who's buying this? Kind of. Honestly, I'm like, dude, who's going to that last party city aisle ever? I'm like,

kind of scared. You're like, what, who or what could be back there. Right. Like weird. I don't know. Like literally cobwebs and like,

I don't know. I always have to pee so bad at Party City too. I go to the bathroom every time. there. Dude, that's a good point. Yeah. I'm like, why do I have to piss right now? My God. Because it's like aggravating. You're like, I don't know where it is. I don't want to ask one of these workers.

They're going to think I'm stupid because I don't know where the Santa Beards are. Right. Well, it's just that workers are like 16 year old sophomores in high school. Most, the scariest people of all time. They don't want to talk to people anyways. So you're like, no. I want to ask them. Yeah. Not okay. But low key, I just want, I want to ask him for a job.

You guys, uh, where are your applications? Yeah. Where are your pig noses and are you hiring? So there's three people who come in here a week. We're not hiring. We're actually dripping money. Just don't put me on balloons because that looks hectic. Oh, shit.

And there's the way, like that's a high demand. Like obviously. And then people are, I feel like everybody who's getting balloons is always in a rush for some reason. Like nobody hasn't planned out. You know, it's always the, I know. It's like they're wearing six giant balloons, but they're like... Day of. To the party.

Day of. Yeah, on the way. I'm like, are you serious? Bro. Stuck behind them in line of Party City. And I'm like, fuck, I'm just, I just have this wig. Just one wig. Self check.

Yeah. Hello? Ooh. Ooh. Party City. Get your shit together. Get a self-checkout. What are we doing?

I'm waiting in line behind Grandma for 48 minutes. She's buying Spider-Man balloons. You ever done a Santa Barcrawl? Yeah, I was going to say, I think that's, you're probably the last person on Earth who would ever do that. It's like last person or first person. Like, you never really know. It's one of those. That's, that's true.

I don't, uh, I haven't, though, no. I don't think I've ever done a bar crawl. Right, like an official one? No. You were the only people on planet Earth at this point who haven't done like an official bar crawl. Yeah. I think I got close one time and I was like, something just happened. I don't know. But it sounded fun.

And I was like, but how long? Like, I don't really, is it just like they go to like 10 bars and they spend like an hour? Yeah, that's wrong. That's wrong. I'm like, all right. So when is it like the collective? Like, all right, we check this one off. On to the next. Yeah. Who's the captain of that team? Exactly. Barcrawl captain? That's a, that's a, that's a lot of responsibility. I've never done one before. I'm going to look up like what a schedule would be. And like, I feel like you'd lose a ton of people.

you know. Oh God, yeah, after like bar two. Like, where's, uh, are they in the bat? Oh, they just, they Houdini'd us. They Irish goodbyeed. Everybody's Irish goodbyeing. I feel like there's like a, a pickle peddler involved sometimes. Oh, yeah, that's what it is.

That's the thing that takes them to the bars. That's a crazy day. Hold on. 12 bars of Christmas. Here we go. 12 bar. Whoa. On the 12. Bar of Christmas I threw up on the

12th bar of Christmas I broke the flat screen TV I threw up on the fried pickles See like it's not sure I just want to know like Okay where do you go It says 12 bars of Christmas But then it doesn't say like

Here's where we're going It's probably just like on a strip You know you just hit them Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom Boom boom boom I don't get that I'm like dude What everybody's driving drunk

Because like how else is anyone getting home? Unless you live downtown, like, bro, you live 30 minutes away. How are you getting there? Weddings, NFL games. I'm like, you guys are fucked up, man. That's why you stop seeing friends, man. That's why this happens because people, yeah, they live 20 minutes away. And they're like, well, I can't drive.

But it's kind of far to Uber. It's like, all right, well, peace. That's a far Uber, bro. I've taken some far Ubers and that's still pretty far. I had back-to-back Ubers the other night. that no, no music, no nothing. Silence in the car. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I had a Christmas Uber the other day. That was banging. Like, this is how you do it right here. On the, on the drive there, I was like, all right, I just opened up TikTok. I was like, I got to have some. This silence is, I don't like it. I need to have something breaking it here. But then on the way back, I just like noticed halfway home.

I was like, another silent Uber. I think you can pick on the app. You can pick, like, silence. music, conversation, cold, hot, temperature, you know what I mean? God, who's picking conversation? I think there's an, I don't know, bro, people are so weird. I pick quiet and one guy wouldn't shut up. He kept talking.

I was like, dude, I don't know what to tell you, but I'm out of this one. That's a way. I mean, that would make sense to have that option, but if there is a quiet or a conversation, who the hell is getting conversation? I had somebody listener of the show who's actually friends of my dad he texted me for Ben

who's buying this and it was Chucky Cheese Pizza and the Frozen Pizza aisle at a store Oh yeah and I was like I texted back I was like oh man I think you're wrong on this one dude Chuckie cheese pizza is nice I'm not gonna lie I've done that one

Oh but It was pretty good it was the pepperoni's that changed the game on that chucky cheese pizza he was like uh he was like as if anybody's going there for their pizza i'm like i can make a fair argument i mean it's like i like i told it i mean the clubhouse may not know this but you remember like me and my family we used to go to chucky cheese on christmas eve morning for like 20 years that's insane i forgot about that yeah from like 11 a m to like one or whatever we'd go over there we'd have a bunch of pizza play a bunch of games, then go get ready for fucking Christmas Eve mess.

Bro, that's a trap game right there. You better be good at Chuck E. Cheese. That's a trap game. That's why my parents did it. Yeah. Yeah, that's not a celebration. Let's see if you're on your shit. What are you going to do?

You're going to run around and hit somebody? Accidentally? You're going to run into the tunnels up above? You're going to make somebody cry? We'll see. We'll see. I don't know. I don't know.

You're going to throw up down the slide? It's on you. Crap game. When you're in the hunt, you got to play the Chiefs. Fuck. That's not a trap game, man. For the Chiefs, though, it is. Oh, okay, there you go.

Nice. There you go. Real quick, I just wanted to, sorry, I just was looking at this, and I remembered a little pub here. I put a subscribe for like an email newsletter thing on my website. So for Clubhouse, official Joey Mullinerer.com.

Go hit that up. Put your email in there. That way I can send you like as soon as my tickets for 2024 go available, you know, all that shit.

Just go to it. I'd really appreciate it and get the tickets out to you as soon as I know. So for the clubhouse. Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, a little email from Joey.

Joy, Joy in the inbox? Joy, joy in the inbox. Yeah. You ever had it? Me and Ryan are doing, We're having someone or a company come and like deep clean our house. Oh. You ever done that?

I think about it every day. I'm like, that's really the present I want is to like just have somebody just come and like just go in on my shit. Right. I'm really excited about it, but I'm kind of like, what's, you know, I don't know. You know, do we have to like, do they pick up everything? I know. I know.

And the tiles and the cabinets and shit. You know what I mean? Like, are they. picking up my clothes? I don't know. I never know what to like keep out. Like, are they going to like lift up my, my, my, my shit on top of my dresser and like. Right.

Dude, there's, yeah, they said that it's going to take like five to eight hours. Nice. I think I'd, I think, do you have to be gone? Yeah. Nah, I don't know about that. I'd check in. Oh, I forgot something. Hey, we got cameras.

We got cameras. We got cameras. So. Nice. It is a little like, that's a long. We got to be gone? gone? Because they're deep cleaning, man. That's nice, bro. That's a, that's going to be a relief.

Yeah, well, hey, it's a little early, but it's still a week of Christmas party, Friday night. So offers on the table if you're back this Friday. Okay. Friday the 15th. Wait, though, that's the part. That's, yeah, dude, I've been to that one. That's the one you came to a couple years ago. That was fun, bro. On, on some late night. Have some snacks. Have some, we're having Vitos, Italian. Catering?

Yeah. Yeah. The deep clean than the party, you guys are so ready. A lot of wine. So I told everybody, I was like, hey, you don't got to bring anything. I don't want your fucking dessert dishes. Thank God. And I said, just if you would, bring a bottle of red wine.

That it. It can be $8. It's going to be wine club. Wine club on Friday nights. all the wine mom club yep so yeah uh it's out there but it's at time it's christmas party time man it is we're in it we are in it um let's see what people are emailing us this week team these guys at gmail dot com um let's go dot com yeah uh we didn't get to sam last week so we'll get here christmas plague milky boy a dish afternoon gents after quite possible

the worst batch of sickness I've ever been through coming off the heels of Thanksgiving. I literally drove home at 3 a.m. Black Friday and went to work at 10. I woke up the next day and in the presence of imminent death. A full calendar week later, here we are, still sick, but getting there. Anyways, I get me thinking, if you had to pick, would you rather get sick before a major holiday but be fully recovered three days prior to said holiday? Or have the merry little time of your happy-ass life and then 36 hours after the holiday you wake up to the worst flu of your life. that last seven plus days

with enough strep throat covering your face to the point where it looks like you mingled with a lady of the night who went through the entire 16th century royal's naval fleet. Either way, coat my throat and oat milk, cover me in egg yolks, powder me with Italian breadcrumbs,

slap my squeaky clean ass to the frying pans of Indiana and let me run Oklahoma drills against the football team. All right, so do you get that? So be sick. Be sick leading up. Be sick leading up. up. And then you're healthy for the holiday? Yeah, but you're healthy for the holiday no matter what. But I think he's saying like right after the

holiday, you wake up and you're sick for like a week with a bad flu or you're sick leading up to. But then like two days before Christmas or three days before Christmas, you get done. Oh, bro. Leading up. Really? Yeah. Why? Because I want to, I want to be future self. Future self. Yeah, but I don't want to be... Best part. This is the happiest part. You're depressed no matter what after the holiday.

I don't know, man. I just can't... I don't like going like this and then that. I'd rather... I'd rather... Boom, you know? Okay. I don't know.

That's fair? That's a good way to look at it. I just know that we hate that week in between Christmas and New Year's so much. So I'm like, all right. Right. You know, if I need to be freaking bedridden for five days after Christmas, then... I guess that's kind of true, too, though.

I see that. On the 15th and the 18th and all these Christmas parties that are going on, I'm like feeling good and like there and not having to be like, oh,

I can't really. Yeah. Damn, that's a good question. I can see in both ways, though. I see what you, you know,

kind of battle through a little bit. Get that liquid IV. Get the, uh, what's the fucking thing your dad loves? The vitamin. Propel? No.

Well, emergency. Emergency. Get some of the emergency. sea going, a lot of fluids, fight through it. And then yeah, Christmas Eve, you're like, wow, I feel great. And I'm on to everything and I'm good. Starting the New Year's. Sometimes, like, leading into Christmas, it's so fun, like, nothing can break your spirit, you know. So even if you are sick. It's still, like, kind of fun, sick, you know? You're like, I'm sick,

but, like, yo, it was Christmas, you know, it wasn't that bad. It's like the Santa Claus trilogy and Lay Here. And then, like, it's a memory. Like, remember that one Christmas I was sick? God, that was crazy. But, like, after Christmas, it's so bad. I kind of don't want to make it worse. That's true. That's fair. All right, so a little bit of both from Zander. Benny needs a drink around the world in Epcot. Damn, this is a long one here. Hey, boys, I've always loved your material and have been fortunate enough to see Joey and Fort Wayne last year.

Great show. Thanks. I'm hoping to see show soon too. Purdue got myself and worked around the same time you boys are finishing your degrees. Neither of us went there, Zander. Boiler up, babe. My wife and I just made the move to Wisconsin a month ago, but your podcast keeps been grounded in Indiana and Midwest culture. He says he's been featured on the espresso pot before, but I'm very happy that Benny's got a newfound love with the Disney parks. Your next trip needs to be Walt Disney World in Orlando so you can tackle the drinking around the world challenge in Epcot.

I failed miserably on my own. Had a beer in Mexico, beer in Norway, beer in China, shot of Yeager in Germany, Sangria in Italy, a beer in America, a hot sake in Japan,

and I died in a bathroom in Morocco. Man, that sounds, who can... A book. I died in the bathroom of Morocco. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that, I like that.

That sounds good. Oh, Jesus. I had to be taken to a local hospital for alcohol poisoning and dehydration. The best part was my wallet fell out of my pocket in the ambulance and I had to go on a wild goose chase to track it down. Cancel my cards and everything only to find my wallet a week later. Yep. To be young and stupid, but hey, that's just the way the beer can opens. Oh, God.

Slat my ass with dry rub, rapitiling, aluminum foil, grill for an hour and a half over 180 degrees, then in to 375 degrees, unwrap and place directly overheat, lather each side with barbecue sauce, and let it cook for 10 to 20 more minutes, lather with even more sauce, and then motorboat it. That's a lot. That's a lot.

That may mean just want to order Uber Eats, bro. That's a lot of cooking. I think you would get down with, I think you would get down with drinks around the world at Epcot. It's kind of like a bar crawl. Like, you know, I'll have it. It's never an official thing. I see people that I think they're there for that like Xander was saying like they go to

Epcot they have the shirts that have like the drinking around the world in Disney fun with the map on the back and I think some people can and do like have like he said like I'm going to get a margarita in Mexico I'm going to get a wine in Italy and so it's like a it's like a almost a it's a marathon it's a marathon I'm drinking God who can I just kind of like casually I'm like yeah I have one here and if we if I'm not if I'm feeling too good if Frank stop being crazy. I'll get some more, but it is fun. So people really do it in every place and like finish? Yeah, I think I try. I'm pretty sure my wife got kicked out there when she was in college.

Well. Because she was so drunk. There's no way anybody's finishing that. Yeah, because I mean, you got to be a soldier. I'm trying to think of every country that's, it's double digits for sure. Like 16, 17? UK, Canada, Mexico, China, Japan, Morocco, Italy, United States Paris, Paris, well, I guess France.

Yeah, they have all the like Norway's, Sweden's, Germany's, all that. I mean, so it's a lot. No, that's a tough one. Yeah, I'd have to casually do it. There's no way. No. Because then you're just peeing the whole rest of the day. We're pukin.

And with that Orlando heat, like you said, like, that's a recipe for disaster there. But fun. Yeah. Yeah. But damn, man. God, I kind of want to go to Disney. You're pretty close. So many shops.

Close. It's dangerously close. From Kurt. Rick Moranis is the subject line here. It says, love you guys a long time. The podcast is amazing. And listening to the weekly episodes is one of my highlights. Sports Attire Hall of Famist.

got to include Prime Jason Terry with his long socks, Ricky Williams with the dreads and visor, lined up in the back field, felt like a TB on every carry. God damn. Inning cast, seeing Eli's quips has transformed his image from the dufous sideline faces he shows a player. Love hearing those guys banter. It got me thinking, would you rather get beers and shots

with the Kelsey bros at a hooters? Or go to the nearest cracker barrel and drink some meddillas with the Manning Bros. Thanks for the weekly entertainment and build me a time machine, go back to high school, practice shooting at cans of my papa's rifle, skip college, and become this Navy seal when I turn 18, wait

four more years until I use those skills as a marksman to shoot Osama bin Laden and slap my ass while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. You guys are getting crazy, man. This is wild. The pledge, bro. Can you imagine? I love how insane they are. They all stick the landing.

I'm like, oh, that's a... Okay, yeah. As I'm reading it, I'm genuinely, where the fuck is this going? All right, so to you first. Beers and shots of the Kelsey Bros. At Hooters or Cracker Barrel and Modellas with the Manning Bros. I think, that's a tough one. I think I'd rather do Kelsey Bros.

Because I feel like me and Kill a Trave would just be. Yeah, he goes the same guy. And Hooters is just more of a fun place. I feel like if I was with, like, Cracker Barrel's cool, but I feel like I'd have to be like on my best behavior with Peyton Manning or something like that. Yeah, a little stuffy. Yeah, like I'd have to wear a collared shirt or something. And I don't know, I mean, it'd be a good time, but I'm like, I feel a little too buttoned up.

Like, can we just, can we sit in the rocking chairs outside? Like, this is. Yeah, I feel like it's just kind of two different. Whatever, whatever environment or, like, experience are going for, they're too different, right? Like, if you're wanting to, like, fucking wild out and really get fucked up and, like, have Jason Kelsey, you know, like, you know, putting you in a headlock, like, that kind of a, day. Like I do want that. Obviously Hooters just fucking a million chicken wings, you know, just like kind of hitting on the waitresses and they're kind of feeling it. But then also like Jason kind of doing it and they're not really feeling it. I don't know. Yeah. And it gets funny

because like he's trying, you know, yeah. You know, he's the hog. Yeah. But then like if you're kind of one for more like story time, you know, some more maybe you'll learn something, some, some, some, some brighter humor, I guess, maybe than the Mannings, you know? Maybe throw on the quarters of up and you're like, yeah, let's go sit there and see the back and forth with Peyton and Eli. Yeah, let's see who can win that little like golf tee game first. Yeah. See them play checkers against each other.

God, I want to go to Cracker Row. Random memorabilia. So, fellas, I was wondering if either of you burbby little bastards have any random sports memorabilia. I still have a signed photo of 2001 fighting Aligni QB, Kurt Kittner, throwing a football on a beach. I also have the 2003 Oakland A's manager, Art Howe, and Jason Giambi's autograph on a baseball. Love the show and internet content from you both. Slop my ass with a bop it while wearing a band-aid under your eye like Nelly and force feed me gogert till I

sold my Arthur, the Art of Arcundies. Kurt Kidner, bro. Like, what the fuck? That's so random. Like, he means like sign stuff? Yeah. Jason Giambi baseball. Now we're talking, bro. Not bad. I've got a sign paid Manning jersey from when I was like in third grade, but my mom washed it and the permanent marker came off.

Yeah. Like obviously. Like I'm always like, oh, that only happens to just me, but I feel like that happens to everybody. I have a, I'm looking at it right now, a framed photo of Adam Sandler

and Henry Winkler from the Waterboy. And it's signed by Henry Winkler. Damn. Wait, who is that? He's the coach and water boy Like it's hitting the head The Fonz. Oh no he doesn't get hitting it okay When he throws the trophy

Yeah Colonel Sanders Your best best three seconds of my life Best three seconds of my life dude I found it out of an antique store It was like 70 bucks And I was like fuck yeah I'm getting this See ya yep I'll pay 2,000 Right then I have I'm actually looking at it now too

I have a personalized rich Eisen Framed photo signed by him now we're talking now we're talking to Joey best wishes Rich Eisen and it's him like smile

bro I'd put that by my bed dude right on the nightstand dude okay listen to this this is gonna blow your fucking mind all right so my aunt is from Naperville Illinois

sickest house growing up we'd always go there it'd be like a vacation Like, you know, you just have like, they had everything, that a basement, they had a pool table. They had video games. Like, I was like, they have NFL Blitz. They introduced me of that. I first watched Happy Gilmore there.

It was just like, my mind was blown, bro. At house, yeah. Amazing. And we're going to Aunt Jody's all, you know, it's crazy, dude. Waterbeds. I was like, you guys are celebrities. They won a contest to have the Bears, like, best five players come over to their house. house. And I was like no fucking way. And like this is when the bears kind of sucked a little bit,

but like still lit. And like my aunt was like, you know, like doing it right, bro. She like decorated the house, all bear stuff, like making like blue and orange like rice crispy trees just going insane. And like the guys came over probably wearing like their jerseys. This is not a dream. This is real life. And yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the not like the community relations. jerseys that they give them to wear yeah PR jerseys bro yeah baggy sleeves you're like I've never seen that guy in baggy sleeve but like they signed some stuff and like that you know it was just it was a big party amazing and no no no no no but I just heard about it and I was like what a dream yeah like floored but my uh my aunt was like had a bunch of extra memorabilia and shit

and she sent me like an orange Bears hat with the popped out logo with like three signatures on it and one of the signatures was I don't know Bears fans let me know if I get this wrong or right Curtis Conway and like one of their running backs

and like one of their linebackers it wasn't Erlai it wasn't Erlacker but like yeah because I was like there's no way but Curtis Conway bro 80 number 80 let's go let's go let's go

He's married to Muhammad Ali's daughter. Curtis Conway for the gang. That's my memorabilia story. Hell yeah. That's awesome, dude. What a party. Oh, my God. I was like, no way.

Even, dude, Mike Dicca might have fucking, I don't know what was going on or when that was, but I was like, somebody crazy was there. And I was like, damn, he was at your... He played for the Bears from 93 to 99, so...

Yeah. I think Dicka was done coaching by that point. Yeah, probably. I don't know. was going on, but I was like, but somebody big time, I think, was kind of at their house. Might have been Curtis Conway, but like, I was like, that's insane, dude. What year would you say? Like 97? Yeah. Yeah, probably like 97 or 98.

Bears roster in 98. Dave Wonstead was the coach. Wait, he's, oh, he's dolphins, right? He's dolphins. Yeah, dude. They're four and 12. So, yeah. So Bears. Who's their running back? I can't wait. him. It was definitely him because I was like, I don't know who he is, but he's probably like number 32. Eric Kramer was the quarterback. It's tough wrong. Nice. Yeah. Roster. Man. And what, linebackers? Give me, give me an OLB.

I just exited it out. That's all good. It's all good. Yeah, but with the Eisen one, it's funny because shit, I just actually clicked on somebody's. With the Eisen, like, my dad's best friend was down at the Super Bowl. in 2006, one of the Colts that Bears were in. And he just was like, his dad had VIP passes places and they got to do this thing

where he got to get on... He brought back a shit on autographs for me. So there's like little mini footballs. I have like a mini football signed by Drew Breeze. God. Love a mini football. Actually, here it is. A BQ autograph football?

What a fuck? I swear to God. Look, it's got the little mini football with the Super Bowl 41 logo on it. Who signed that? This is Jim Plunkett, Desmond Howard, Brailin Edwards. Shut up. Shut up.

This is too Joey. Braylin Edwards? I'm about to steal that shit at your Christmas party. That was a nice looking autograph. Okay, T.T. To Joey. Best wishes, Brady Quinn. Right there.

That's amazing. And there it is. Joey. Go Saints. Drew Brees. Are those little icing-dipped footballs. Sexy, right? Yeah, so I'm like 12, 11 years old.

My dad's best friend, like, brings this all back for me because he, like, didn't have kids at the time. So he was like, oh, get him all for Joey. Like, total surprise. I'm having, like, the best time of my life. And then, yeah, he's got the Rich Eisen one in there. And it's so funny that now that, like, I can text Rich Eisen. I know Rich Eisen.

And so. That's amazing that you can text them. Oh, my God. I got to put these away. But holy shit, that's hilarious. I forgot I had it literally run to my desk right there. He asked that question. Yeah, awesome.

Brady Quinn signed football. Look at his autograph, too, dude. The B in the Q? The things I would do for that in 2007. I know. Brady Quinn hanging from the goalpost? Oh, that picture. Oh, yeah.

That's the Google image. That's what everyone wanted to look like. I'm like, do not show that to the girl I kind of like, please. Holy shit. I mean, he's not that like, you start defending it. I heard he's kind of a dick, so like, and he's like always serious all the time, you know? You never, like, want to date that guy, right?

Even though he's like eight years older than you. You know, he still have to, stuff to defend a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm definitely better than him. From, uh, Dustin Morgan. Whoops. Sorry. Wait, what?

Uh, boom goes to dynamite. What's up? Hope you two are staying warm and cozy during the best month of the year. I don't know if you're allowed to play the clip or part of taking it on the pod. We'll love to hear you guys take on the absolute train wreck of a segment with the newscaster. filling in and fumbling his way through the sports segment a while back. It's all over YouTube known as the boom goes the dynamite.

So many. Oh, yeah. My man really didn't know too much about sports and gave it his best effort, which resulted in an incredibly awkward and funny clip. Love to hear your thoughts on it. Slop my ass and run the annexation of Puerto Rico for the game winning Tuddy. Oh, yeah, dude, that's like the OG YouTube video for me as boom goes the dynamite. Really?

MySpace page. Damn. And then he went. Oh, that's why, yeah. I've seen that a lot because of the ball state. Yeah. The best part about that video, like, yeah, the catchphrases and stuff that he says is funny. You know, but the best part about it is when, like, the highlights are just running for, like, a minute and a half.

And he's just not saying anything. Like, you kind of hear him being like, and then it'll just be silence while, like, the ball state baseball highlights are playing. man that's got to be tough getting pussed out to Steve Jackson and it's good like that's tough there's nothing there that was a lot of pressure

we both had to do that probably right the prompter pressure yeah I was like I want to be cool but you guys don't want me to be cool so like what do I do Steve Jackson look at see promter pressure I'm like yo can we slow it down

home boy who do you think I am yeah that was like the OG YouTube video and I remember yeah we're all like God that guy sucks that's so bad and then like it came out

to like because I went so viral and people were making fun of it so much I guess that there was like technical difficulties of course or something

to where it was like fucking up and so then obviously it made it look like he was really bad I don't know if that's true or not

I like to prefer to think that he was just really bad on camera so relatable yeah god damn these are long man

yeah keep them keep them show friendly. Right. I'm running out of breath here. This is from Joey. Subject line, Santana Moss.

So, maybe that's all we need to say. So, fellas, longtime listener and clubby, haven't missed a show. First of all, how hard do the holiday

theme scoreboards go on sports games? Oh, stop it. No, and the Lions Bears game goes to commercial break with a falling leaf

scoreboard. Bliss. Oh. The icicles hanging down? Yeah, the fall stuff is fine, but it really gets freaky when like

on that dude the fox having the Christmas lights as timeouts fuck off God damn it man who is thinking of that shit I just want to kiss them and it would like explode when they used one Are you serious? Hey

nothing beats the Fox robot Just taken out that snowman Oh Cletus dude I would be like Dad dad dad dad Like oh just wrecking them bro Oh man that was good Hey, and Cletus has a Santa hat on?

The Fox Robot. Is that still a thing? Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Remember I, like, I was out in L.A., like, two years ago, we're at the Fox Studios, and they just have a giant, life-size replica of Cletus in their lobby. Yeah.

He's like a transformer. You couldn't even do that. You'd be, like, making out with his knee. Ugh. I would. Three stories high. Second of all, what are the coolest wide receiver names outside of Santana Moss, Dwayne Bow and Roddy White

Toss the... Jesus. I'd slap my ass and stuff me into a Christmas stocking. What a... That was a good email, bro. It might not have been long enough. After all that.

James Thrash. Ooh, crazy. Somebody said this a couple of weeks ago. Ashley Lilly, that's a fire... That's a fire receiver name. From Hawaii. That's a crazy poll there.

Well, that wasn't really me. He shouts out to the clubhouse member that said that Because we were talking about NFL players with girl names, and that was Ashley Lilly Broncos. Yeah. Wait. Who was the... How about Antonio Freeman?

Just the most wide receiver name of all time. Like... It is such a... Yeah. More of a wide receiver and a movie or TV show. Like... Antonio Freeman. This guy's a wide receiver.

What's his name? Antonio Freeman. For sure. That's a great... That's a great number one receipts. receiver name. Hey, I got one for you. I can't wait. Muhammad Masacqua.

Just the way the announcers would like get hype to say it. Muhammad Massacoy, bro. Oh, Georgia, right? Who do you play for in the league? Browns. That sucks, but still good. Mario Manningham, the alliteration. The alliteration.

Nice. It's got to be kind of longer. There's so many. There's so good, dude. It's real good. I've always been a Jerome Pathan guy. I don't know why. Oh, yeah.

Hell yeah. Tim Dwight. That last name, Pathan? Crazy. There's a lot of dudes from the Titans that, like, are, there's a dude from the Titans. His last name was Bird. I remember that. And he was, by the way, R.I.P. Frank Whitechek.

Oh, man. Yeah. But who? Oh, Kevin Dyson, bro. Oh. Oh, yeah. We could probably do this for like another 10. 10 minutes.

That's well, that's, yeah, I'm just like, I'm quiet because I'm just, like, racking my brain

right now. Hey, Thai streets. Hey, Anquan Bolden. How dirty was he, dude? Nobody wanted to make him

the number, number one receiver, bro. He just, no, over the middle. Come on. See ya.

It's taking a slant to the crib. Dude, every time. Oh, no. I got to think of the team.

All right, I got one. I got one. Oz Hakim. So hard. Just returning punts for the Rams. Like, what a dream job. Ozakim. Ozhakim, all just making money over the middle

while Isaac Bruce and Tori Holt just go deep. Ozha, he's really good. Like before receivers were all like number 17 and 18. Oh, man. Antoine. Randall L. God damn.

That almost made me cry. Space and then the L. Who's? Dude, with the space and then L? That is not. That is not. That shouldn't even be allowed.

Who gave you the right, dude? Randall L? Your first name's Antoine? And you're throwing, you're throwing to other receivers? Dude, get out.

Created player. Best, best looking pass of all time, Antoine Randall, Super Bowl 40. You watch that. Really? It's the most,

perfect spiral of all time. It's insane. I need to check that out for the 98th time. Randall L. Dude, if you had a Randall L jersey, you were so real. Oh, my God. Who does? Yeah, I do, yeah.

And he wore it to an IU football game. I was like, you're the realest for that. That's hard as shit. Yeah, that's the hardest thing ever. All right. Crazy. Ending with a bang there. Keep sending the emails.

team these guys at gmail.com trying to get to all of them but you guys are awesome and you you you express it out so it's it's tough to fit all of them in and you know an hour long shut or so keep sitting and we'll always cycle back so um appreciate that be sure to subscribe on youtube um that church clip man people were people really were the gym the church i got those mentions and replies were so the comment somebody said there's like an overhang yeah dude that had me dead. Clip it every time. The, the, uh, the, the, the, the, the circle that the volleyball net had to be plugged

into that like giant fucking copper circle that would be there, you know? Yeah, the big penny. Yeah, slip on that big penny. That was great. So appreciate it. Uh, don't forget, 21st, Ben, uh, maybe me hopping in with Ben, um, but Ben, absolutely, uh, headline helium. Early show sold out.

Late show for the 21st. We're going to get the ticks. They're on the helium website. They're in my bio. They're in the description of the podcast. Grab them, babe. It's going to be fun. Grab those, be some holiday hoes.

Put your email in on my website, official joey-Muller.com so I can let you know, let the clubhouse know first when tickets are available to come see me, wherever I am, whatever I'm performing, and the new calendar year coming up. Yeah, cool. All right. It's that time. Hey, soak it in. We're the best time in the year. We're in it. Wild cards, babe. Wild cards. We're in the hunt. Bye, bye-bye. Terrence Wilkins.

Fuck you. These guys.