THESE GUYS! - Tiger Woods Gatorade

Episode Date: April 16, 2024

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They had a race in the backyard on the fourth. Like, they were just messing around. Billy beat them all by about 10 yards. Yeah. Billy Van Dyke. That's the name to watch. Hey, but they just call him BVD. Yes.

Hey, BVD on his wrist tape. BVD. TG 78. 78 or 79. Oh, shit. Really? I don't know. It happens every time.

Let me look through the files. 78 79 doesn't matter we're still still in our left tackle face left left tackle era I was just about to say that where are you broadcasting from

is this your is this your digs is this your place dude this is 78 I think I'm right for the first time but I still think I'm wrong yeah dude this is my this is my crib are we started are we going yeah we're gone

wow let me get a little let me get a little luxie. So where you've been recording from? A studio? Oh, you got the AI shit? How'd you get that? Like it moves? Like it follows you.

Just my computer, my little webcam shit. Wow. It might be a Zoom feature. I don't really know. But yeah, this is my crib. And there's like a little studio. It's just not a studio. It's like a room above a garage that I'm usually in. But the Wi-Fi was really bad.

last time. So I'm like, fuck it. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. That got all fucky. I thought about it last night and I was like, and then I was like, fuck it. Nice. Got a little TV stand. That TV volume hasn't been above two

in my entire life. But the TV's been on. Just continuous. Yeah. Never turned it off. I like walking into a little fun, a little party. Yeah. Oh yeah, the same way No TV on I can only do it though

I can only do it at the hotel room You know If I do it here Or do it at my I do it at my parents' house It's game over You get yelled at and shit for it Yeah

But it all changes when you have a dog Oh keep it on for the dog Everybody It's amazing how quickly that that switches Because the dog Yeah That flips switches real quick the way dogs actually watch TV

is a little concerning I'm like, you're paying attention to this shit more than me, bro. And I do come home after we've been away for a while during the day and Happy's lying on the couch

and we've been gone for so long that the TV's like doing one of those are you still watching this or you want to find something else? And so there's like, you know, it's just paused up there on the screen. I'm like,

damn, dude, I'm sorry. Yeah, wish I could have got it for you. That's why dogs chew up remotes. They're like, can we just, I'm trying to press okay. They can't get it, bro. It's a good call. That's a good call.

Push and ticckeys. Worst joke ever and. Push and tickies, Buffalo, Wednesday, eating wings. Going to have wings for lunch. Going to have wings for dinner after the show. Going to have wings on the airport on Thursday morning for breakfast. Buffalo, Thursday, Detroit, next week, Wednesday, right before the NFL draft, Kansas City, Thursday, May 2nd,

right before Kentucky Derby, Twin Cities, Minneapolis, St. Paul, May 7th. Twin Cities, such a cool name. Hartford, this Thursday, Omaha. May 1st, Syracuse, May 30th. Columbus, June 13th. first girlfriend's birthday don't know why I remember that but it's true

in men Portland June 26 you know is that what's is that what caught you up there a little bit yeah I was like wow happy birthday I dedicate this one to you Nicole

so true I was like wait a minute I know that date I know that date from something Tickey's in the show description in our bios on our websites you know where to find them see you there

yeah dude girlfriend's birthdays? They do. There's only a couple of them. You remember their birthday. You remember their birthday more than you remember them. Yeah. There's only a couple that stand out.

Really just that one, I think. Because like it's got to be a good birthday and a good number, you know? Summer B day? Crazy. I had a couple of September ones that were like good round numbers too. what? September's a weird month, bro. It wants to be October so bad.

It wants to be October so bad. That's because of us. It's not because of September. September's a great month. No, September's, uh, in October's shadow big time. They're holding it down, but like, they're like, they're little brother. You got Labor Day. You got football.

Wow. Wouldn't have, wouldn't have led with Labor Day. That's for sure. Why? Because I don't know what month Labor Day is still. Three day weekend. It's the last three day weekend to end the summer and to kick you off in the fall. Yeah.

I think I try not to remember it. So it's like a nice little surprise when it happens. I'm like, oh yeah, every year. That's your whole life, dude. It's true. True. Doesn't remember anything. So it's a little surprise.

Everything. Oh, Christmas. It's happening this year. it. Hey, dripping. Memorial Day. Oh shit. Sorry.

Dripping or tripping? Jet's new uniforms. I'm going drip. Yeah. Me too. Dripping. Dripping. I'm going drip.

I think that they just simplified. You know me, dude. They simplified. They got the right shade of green. It's a little bit of the vintage involved with it as well. Yeah. I'm good with it. Me too.

But I love it. But why is there a little part of me now that's like every team's just doing stripes? Well, it is really weird. Yeah. What once was comes back again. I know. It's never more prominent than with NFL uniforms right now. Damn.

I'm like Cardinals stripes. Every team just same. Like I like it, but I'm like now every single. team is going to do that? Jesus Christ. Yeah. Like people will not shut the fuck up about the dolphins throwbacks, the falcons

throwbacks. They're all nice. Yeah, they are. But, I mean, and like the cream sequels, I'm done with the cream sickles for the bucks. Really? Too much talk. I think, I think, honestly,

when I think buccaneers and when I think is the best buckingeers, is fucking Simeon Rice. Mike Allsot, Simeon Rice, fucking war done, Brad Johnson. The real Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

That is the bucks right there, dude. I don't give a shit about the cream sickles. Green Eddie's hot! Give me a, give me the pewter pants with a neck roll. Call the day. Oh my God, dude. That's the bucks, bro.

The creamsicle bucks were kind of like, eh, you guys sucked. Dude, they did suck and they're not even, they're not that great. Puter bucks. I'm Peter Papa. Hey, it was John Lynch and Mike Allstott the same guy. Definitely,

definitely brothers. Definitely related somehow. You know their wives like had a crush, like John Lynch's wife had a crush on Mike Allsot. Mike Allsot's wife had a crush on John Lynch. And it was just like, deal. Yep, yep. All pass.

Same guy. He's like kind of cute. No, what they were was the, the brother tandem in high school that John is the like, the John is more stylish and has a cooler car and like cares about his hair more, right? Probably does better with the girls.

But then Mike was like the psycho that like wanted to play without a helmet on to what headbutch you. Yeah, dude. And they're like, Lamped in with the varsity boys when he's a freshman. Right,

yeah. Yeah, when he was in eighth grade, he was like, he was like going to the high school's practice and everybody's like, who is that? Yeah.

Dude, he has an eighth grade. They have some crazy last name, like Van Dyke or something. Like, those are the Van Dykes, bro. Bro.

Are they coming here? They might go to cathedral. They're like visiting schools in the area. I'm not playing next year. Hey, somehow they're like, they're like, they're like 10 months apart. You're like,

how is that even possible? Like, just like, they're so close that they're in the same grade, but they're not twins for some reason. Yeah, it's like some huge superhuman thing, brother.

They like have that gene. There's like a big rumor going around. You know, dude, there's always that, that family in high school and you're like, Jesus Christ. Like the best.

best athletes of all time. Oh, you're drinking prime? Yeah. That shit's fired. Did they send it to you? It's ridiculously good. Yeah, it's, uh, it's, I mean, no free ads, no preads. But yeah, dude, it's so good.

It's so good for real. It's just that Fourth of July popsicle and drink form. I drink eight. I drink six in one day. Got an eight pack drink six in one day. I was like, yeah. Yeah. The Van Dykes, bro.

I can't stop thinking about them. And you're right. Both are like, yeah, John plays defense. Mike plays offense. Exactly like they did in the pros, but it's in high school. Hey. But did you hear about their younger brother? He's the best one, they say.

God damn. How much did Dad's love to say that, dude? Dude, they still, no matter what, the son could be some like musician. And they'd be like, yo. The younger, I'm hearing the younger ones the best. Yeah. Hey, do you think they're, do you think they're good? The one in fifth grade, he's already hit the ball further than them.

He's faster. I saw him all run on the 4th of July. He's faster. They had a race in the backyard on the 4th. Like, they're just messing around. Billy beat them all by about 10 yards. Yeah. Billy Van Dyke, that's the name to watch.

Hey, but they just call him BVD. Yes. Hey, BVD on his wrist tape. BVD. Student section. Students. Students change that. They don't chant anything else.

Not the team, not nothing. BVD. BVD. Hey. He plays both ways. His brothers played one played defense, one played offense.

He plays both ways. Yeah. That's the only reason I want to have kids right there, though. They come back. back the brother John and Mike come back and one because Mike is now the or John is now the DB's coach for that same high school so he's already there but then Mike comes back to to see him on senior night dude I heard all the Van Dykes are here hey and then it's the flip it's the reverse then he becomes coach Schmidty you know then then how everyone said hey

but BVD he's in fifth grade he's the best one but then when it's BVD he's in fifth grade he's the best one but then when it's BVD Senior Night then all the people are like yeah you see his older brothers you think he's good they were real legends Oh no yeah you can never get away from it All comes full circle yeah All comes full circle

Hey the oldest Van Dyke brother Like he's the most mature He has like a turtleneck on at the game He's like established now you know Yeah yeah he's like a CPA He went to Marquette for some reason He had a scholarship but just to decided to like do school, you know.

Oh, yeah, do school. He didn't want to play. He had a full ride, though. The middle two were the crazy ones, who are the partiers, who are the legends, and then the youngest one is the best one. Yeah. But that oldest one, man,

if he would have stuck with it, you never know. Bro. If he would have just, I don't know why, he just, hey, he lost his love for the game. Hey, he got burnt out. He got burnt out. Hey, where do you have And honestly

Where do you have offers from? The oldest one. Oh, Western Kentucky. Oh, yeah. But it was when they were good. So like,

Right, right. Like, Braum was there, you know. Um, and honestly, he went,

he went to some far away school. He went to like, uh, he went to like Pepperdine because he just wanted to get away from it all. And he didn't want to, he didn't want his little brothers to live. his shadow, but also he just wanted to get away from it all too. So he only comes back regularly. Like when he's here, it's like a big thing. So obviously has to be senior night.

Dude, and I heard when he was at Pepperdine, there was like an intramural game going on and he had four picks. Took two back to the house. A scout for USC was randomly there and like wanted him to come and walk on and try out. But he said no, yeah, try out with a chance at a partial scholarship. But he just said, I'm focusing on my studies. Why has that happened before? Like this is not like a... Oh, for sure. This is like a reoccurring story.

Every town has a Van Dyke family. Bro, the Van Dykes go crazy. Hey, their sister, in high school, their sister's so hot, dude. Oh,

yeah. But no one wants to, like, no one wants to approach because Mike and John will fucking kill him. Yeah. Dude, they're those brothers for sure. Oh, yeah.

They'll take you up against the locker, both of them. One on each arm. Heard you like our sister. I mean, I think she's cool. Yeah, whatever. We like study together. The Van Dykes house, bro, best basement ever. Really?

Yeah. Mr. Van Dyke does he owns his own like pavement company oh one million percent too in the garage they have like it's better than anybody else has but oh yeah

it's it's like a half workout room that's where they train in the morning and he turns he turns the heat up and they get a sweat in and they train there in the morning they can only train with sweatshirts and sweatpants on like socks socks or sweatshirt what's tucked in the stock.

Mike wants to listen to No Easy Way out from Rocky 4, but John wants to stay with the times and he's trying to mix in like a little, you know, like a little 21 Savage

and shit like that. Mr. Van Dyke makes them lift every day before school. And while they're lifting, Mr. Van Dyke is making them those protein drinks that have the egg whites. Finish your set.

Finish your sets. It's like the craziest shit ever. It's like egg yolks, eggshells, peanut shells, chocolate, peanut butter. Molasses. Molasses and like a dollop of, of,

like a dollop of yogurt to like really bring it all together. You know, that's our little treat. Yeah, they're like, what do you guys drink? Like the kids on the team are like, what is it? What do you guys drink? It's so we don't cramp on Fridays.

Did you ever drink Pediolite? Oh my God, yeah. Hey, hey, hey, doesn't work. Yeah, I was kind of wondering that. What a, the biggest scam of our entire, like, generation is Pediolite. Doesn't do shit. Does it work for hangovers even? Every time I tried, I was like...

Nothing works for hangovers. I was like, this shit is too thick. I don't like it. It's gross. It's for babies, dude. Yeah, dudes would be Rockin that for sure. They'd be drinking that on Thursday night,

Friday during the day. Yeah. Oh, yeah. How about the football... How about the football players that would come in with a two-liter jug of water? I hated that, bro.

I was never that guy. I should have been that guy, actually, because, like, I needed that much water, but... Just kind of let yourself. I was always powerade bottle. just refilling. That's good.

Had a good, like, power aid bottles are, like, sturdy. Like, you could throw a full powerade bottle, like against a brick wall real hard and nothing would happen to it. Yeah, for sure. It would fit into cup holders real tight, too. Like, you kind of had to, like,

yeah. But that was my bottle of choice. Gatorade bottle's too small. Yeah. There wasn't a, yeah, it's either, like, Gatorade bottle, you had the regular one, you know,

just like your, or you had exactly industrial size. It was like, that bigger Gatorade bottle is like, Jesus, that's not, that's crazy. Yeah, my mom doesn't sell that size anymore? I don't, I think so, but like at the time, I was like, my mom doesn't have a Sam's Club membership. That was a big, that was a family size Gatorade, dude.

I know. You needed a damn handle. It was a bucket. You weren't walking around with that carrying it in your hand. You needed a handle on top of it. the lot of I never I never

never was big water guy thank God good for you for not being big water guy I remember it became like a thing like our principal had to be like make an announcement

that hey we got to stop with these big water jugs you know because you'd have like 12 offensive linemen you know even like the sophomore who you know putts who didn't even play

it's like what huh no I know maybe one sophomore could, but like not even. Not even. Exactly.

Powerade. That's so interesting to me because you're such a Gatorade guy. I know, but Powerade, Powerade Zero. I don't know if you remember that. Nice bottle, white label.

And there were like, it was almost like... Zero sugar. Yeah, it was like, it tasted really good. I can't... There was a red one and a blue one. They were both really good.

They weren't as like, dense. Like, you know, when you drink a full, like, gatorade, you're like, Jesus Christ. A little syrupy. I was, yeah, it's almost like too much. It's like melted slushy vibe. I'm like, I need less. I need to feel like, light. Some hydration. Right. Yeah. No, definitely. It's like a Gatorade rain. I went through a red Gatorade rain phase for a while. I was never into that. But like, I wanted to be. There was a green one too that I always, it just, never tasted right, but it, it did. I wanted it so bad, but I just couldn't do it. Hey, Masters are just this weekend. You ever do the Gatorade, the Tiger Gatorade? The Tiger Woods Gatorade.

Wait a minute, dude. This is crazy. What was that? This is like unlocking something in my head right now. What did that? I got to look that up. It was like, it was like 2007-ish. Because I think it was really good. It was so good, bro. And it had him on the front doing. his fist bump. I'm sharing my screen so you can see it. Oh, you can do that. Oh, wait, did you get green, red, or perp? That green is taking me back, dude.

Oh, I was green. The red and the purple were just, they were fine, they were okay. But the green was like this like mix of lemonade and Gatorade. And it was, dude, it was. This is a really good, uh, uh, uh, uh, Like, like, what was your favorite Gatorade of all time? Was it Tiger? Like, if you could bring back one Gatorade.

Green Tiger is probably my pick. Also, like G1, red G1. Damn, I don't know that is. G what? G1. Or no, it was G2. Not G1. G1 was the guy that was like kind of a coach at Ron Cali, but kind of not.

Then no one knew. forgive, pardon me, forgive me. That's a G2 right there. Those are my shit. That was my middle, so that was my entire life in middle school. Bro, I kind of don't know if I like those either.

I'm a bitch. Hey, nothing wrong with just being, you know, just the OG. It's cool. Oh, wow,

low Cal G2. I wish I could share my screen. This is fucking annoying. Hold on. Yeah, I just asked for permission, but, uh,

host disabled participant screen sharing. So all good. Jesus Christ, I didn't mean to I promised I'm like fuck him dude He can't share his screen on mine I know, it's like Damn, okay

I uh Get this on Guess what I did on Sunday Yep there it is That middle one right there I really butchered that segment Huh Go ahead

That's all good I bought a lawnmower Pushin or riding Pushin or riding Push Nice. Staying in the game, baby. Clean, classy, cool.

Eat light. Bottle lawnmower, dude. Went to Home Depot on a Sunday. Yeah, I'm a Sunday guy. It is what it is. And bought a lawnmower. You're officially a dad. Yeah.

Having kids, you're not a dad. Going to Home Depot and buying a lawnmower on a Sunday, you're dad now. Yep. I am. And you know what? It feels great because the ones that I had, it was a rinky dink. Like, you see my lawn. It's not that big. But it was just a rinky. It was almost like it was like a toy. I was like, this isn't even a real lawn mower. Like this isn't. You had a JV. JV. Moer. Yeah. This isn't mowing grass. This isn't chopping it down. So we've, we just like, hey, you know what? Summed upgrade. It's time to go for bigger, you know. Upgrade from half an acre to an acre, you know. Go from electric to gas. Sorry, world, but.

Oh, you were rocking electric? Yeah, and we'll keep it because it's, you know, the one that we got, it was a lawnmower, uh, weed eater duo and they're both electric. So it comes with a battery and you snap the battery pack in there. Then you're just off to the races, which was nice. But at the same time, it was like,

ah, it's kind of rinky dink. Yeah. dude. You gotta get up to Varsie level. You're there. Do you prime it before? I haven't unleashed it yet. I haven't gotten it out.

I've just been doing little maintenance work around to prep for it. But you got picks? Let's go, bro. Is it red? It is, it's a blackish, it's a black with a hint of red. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Closet Falcons fan. It's a, it's, it's,

Ren inspired from Star Wars. I knew it was something, dude. Guys never stopped being guys. Guys never stop being guys, bro. Anything that's two different colors, you're like, damn, that's my Dion Sanders mower. Alternate Falcons.

You're like, hey, honey, before you mow the grass. She's like, shut the fuck up and cut the front yard. There's an orange and black one. And I'm like, ah, she's like, why? It's a great deal. It's not that expensive. Why not? I'm just like, it's fucking bingles.

I could never say that to her, though. I'd get hit with that. Grow up so hard. I don't know. Just every time I started, it reminds me of Corey Dillon. She's like, shut the fuck up. Every time I started, I just get irrationally mad at T.J. Hushman Zada for stomping on the terrible towel.

cleaning his cleats with it. Every time I pull the grass out of the blade or reminds me of his braid and it just pisses me off. Can't do it. If you want me to cut the grass, then we can't get this one if you want to cut the grass. So, what about this purple and black one then?

I just walk out. Hey, babe, Jamal Lewis. We got to get out here. So true, though, bro. So true. What about this yellow and black one that's $4,000? We'll take it. I'm liking it.

Why? It's just, you know, it's kind of kind of like it's like a bumblebee. School bus feel? Yeah, like a bumblebee. Like we're outside. It's spring. It's summer. Right?

Just, you know. Yeah. Just reminds me of like, wait, wait, wait, wait. You just want it because it's the fucking Steelers. Yeah. exactly why I want it. It's got a little blitz the house feel, a little blitzberg.

I mean blitz, yeah, yeah, I don't know what it is. It's just like, hey, bro, it's just like when you're ordering at a restaurant, like a fast food restaurant or something, and they give you a number for what your order is, that can make or break. Oh, yeah, dude. That can make or break.

Dude, if I get a, if I get a 43 at Culvers, I'm like, it's going to be the best meal ever, dude. Yeah. Heavy meal. Heavy meal. It's going to be 43. But if I get a 52, I'm like, something just feels, feels a little Ray Lewisy about this. I don't like it.

I don't like it. I feel dangerous. 84. How cool do you feel? You're like, I'm the coolest guy here. 84. Right. They're not just giving out.

That's kind of up there. Right. Yeah. That's a high. number. If you're working at Culver's, does this guy deserve 84? One time I sent it to you, I got 97 at Culvers. Simian Rice.

I sent it to Ben. I said Cam Hayward, he just goes, sub-Semian Rice, and I was like, oh! Best meal ever. Even better. Even better. It was delicious. It was insane, though.

We went on Sunday, and we bought lawnmower. And then we went to my sister and brother-in-law's house. They live in like a traditional suburban neighborhood. And we're all out in the back because it was such nice weather outside in Indianapolis or in Indiana. And I swear, there's a radius around. Everybody was cutting their yard at the same time. No way.

Yeah. Folks just become like in a trance. It's just like boom. weather hits gotta get out there what time was it it was like one one o'clock on sunday

is that peak is that peak cut your grass time one I don't know I did my front yard yesterday on Sunday I did it at like 930 in the morning oh that's it for me I was like am I kind of mean a dick

are people like sleeping I was like nah people are up people are at church people are no one's sleeping in on a Sunday this isn't fucking college That's crazy. You got to think about that. But dude, I think if I heard a lawnmower and I was still sleeping, I'd be like, hell yeah. You know, you sound.

Right. Turn that up, bro. Growing up sound machine. John Deere. Babies have white noise and brown noise. Grown men have AM talk radio and John Deere mowers. In one of those sprinklers. Dude,

put that... Is that putting me to sleep or is that like ASMR type, you know? Bro, landscaping sound effects for guys. Just pull it up on YouTube.

So good, man. A little bird chirping in the background every now and then? Yeah. Dude, give me a no cloud sky, bright sunshine,

815 on a Sunday morning. Fire up the lawnmower. Give me a little bird chirp every now and then. A dog, a dog randomly Hell yeah, dude My dog running away, getting hit by a car I haven't told you that, have I?

Happy got hit by a car. Not up for real. Is he good? Yeah, he's all right. No, he's good, I think. He got like, like hit like, like full contact or did it like just like nip the? Well, I, so.

here's a story. Here's what happened. So we're going up to Chicago for opening day. I know the title of this podcast. We're going up to Chicago for opening day at Wrigley. Me, Rye, our two kids, my mother-in-law, we're going up. My neighbor across the street who are good pals with and who helps us out a lot.

We help, you know, it's just a good neighbor relationship. You know, we take out their garbage if they're out. We get the mail. yada yada they do the same I was like hey could you come by and just let happy out

in the evening for these next two days give us some food and everything and he's like yeah no problem no big deal done it before

so we're up in Chicago Cubs is 120 first pitch should we go to the game we're at the game till like the seventh inning we leave because Frank's freaking out we're getting back to our Airbnb in Wrigleyville

I park everybody's up in the Airbnb I get all of our stuff up in the Airbnb. It's probably like 530. All of a sudden, I get a call for my neighbor. And I'm like, okay, he's probably just asking, like, where's the key to the house or do you want happy to have another thing? Whatever. So I answer it and he's like, hey, man, I can tell his voice is kind of shaky. He's like, bad news. And I'm like, oh, he's like, happy got out. And I was like, okay. I mean, no big deal.

he, you know, you've seen, he gets out. It's been established on this show. He gets out a lot. And then he goes, unfortunately, he got hit by car on college. And I was like, and my mother-in-law is sitting right there.

And it was April Fool's Day. Oh, shit, dude. My mother-in-law goes, she, like, mouse to me. She's like, it is April Fool's Day. And so in my head, I'm like, oh man, like it could be but I don't know

I know this guy I don't think he would be that cruel you know when he first just said bad news when he first said bad news and happy got out I was like oh maybe this is just a little ha ha gotcha

and they jumped he got hit by a car I was like I think this is real so we're in Chicago happy they got him in the back of their car because he's not wanting to move his back legs he's bleeding from the mouth they're taking him to the hospital they get them to the hospital.

I'm like, we're panicking in the Airbnb in Chicago because we just got unpacked with the two kids, like been there only for like 30 minutes. I'm like, do we pack back up? Do we go down? Am I happy's going to die? What the hell is going on? And so the doctor comes in

and they give them some medicine. They do x-rays. They do another round of x-rays. Give them some more medicine. My neighbor calls me and it's the doctor, the vet, on the other end, on the other line and he's on speaker and he's running me through everything that he's seeing and what's happening and what the plan is going to be.

So then my dad has to go and meet my neighbor and take happy off my neighbor's hands at the vet. And it was just a shit show, dude. It was like, oh, God, it was horrible. You're just scared to death for your dog. My dad took happy for the night because they're like, hey, he's like the x-ray, both around the x-rays came back. everything looked good. Like no, thank God somehow.

No, you know, maybe he just got clipped. I don't know, but no like structural damage. No internal bleeding. You know, he just got nicked up. And they were like, hey, general sorenness. Yeah. Happy got General soreness coming for him. That's right.

He'll be back to the playoffs. He was on the 15 day IL. But yeah, that was about two weeks ago now. And he's doing well. we've had him back at home and he's been on medicine for like two weeks but he's all good

so yeah I can't believe I hadn't told you that bro I got to see the film I know what kind of hit was it are we talking Sean Taylor Pro Bowl what are we talking well my neighbor said when they found him out there

like luckily two people had stopped and of course it wasn't the one who hit him jag off but like two other people saw it and they stopped and pulled over and like got him off to the side so he didn't just like become roadkill so like when he got to him happy he was just like laying there on his side on the side of the road and so thank god for those two people um it was just a really shitty situation bad accident but he lives he lives a tell another day bro, so we're all good. He's back.

He's back. Yeah. But that's what's been going on in our world. I've also been eating Starbursts like it's my job. Ooh. I had a pink one the other day and I was like, I really did forget how good these were. Man. Bro, I got a, I did one of those.

Like, I was at Walgreens picking up some random shit for the family. And I just peeked my head down the candy aisle and I was like, let's see what's going on here. I think the kids asleep. Like, I got some time. and I came back with an industrial size of favorite. Oh my God. Eat the whole bag already. It's so hard not to eat the whole bag.

I'm about to. I just took a handful because Frank was sleeping. And every time that Frank sees me with one of them, he's like, he wants him so badly. He's like, he has he had one? I can't. So then he gets upset.

No, he can't. I can't give him Starburst. Oh, he's done. for if you give him Starburst. No, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing it. He is on like a fruit snack phase though. Holy shit, this kid's just surviving on fruit snacks. Those Mots ones.

Jeez. Yeah, those might be the new like Scooby-Doo. They're pretty solid. And he calls him, he didn't say fruit, you didn't say fruit snack. Obviously, he says, Nudneck, new a neck. Fruit snacks are so dangerous, bro. they really are and it's a messed up situation

because you know it's like they're easy for kids kids love them you know and it's like as a parent you're it's so easy to just hey here you go everybody loves a good fruit snack but then I'm like you don't want I'm having all I don't fucking know man parenting's crazy

parenting's crazy and the mott makes you think healthy right made with real fruit shut the fuck words no way dude Yeah, so sometimes, you know, you know what though, Ben?

And for all the clubhouse out there, parenting is nothing but choosing battles, right? You got to pick your battles. And sometimes you put your foot down and you say, no, we're not having fruit snacks. You're going to have real food. And then sometimes you just give them the fucking fruit snacks. It's true, man. Damn, fruit snacks are so good. I know.

Now that's all I'm thinking about it. I know. I feel you a little, man. I could take down some of those. How about the first time you saw like the bigger fruit snacks bags like at the gas station There's like a bigger one I was like they make that because fruit snacks are so good because you only get like six and you're like Right when they had like the half baggy like the like the like the in between lock bag you're like what Like who's buying like that's dangerous like who do I what tax bracket? Like who do I what tax bracket?

it do I have to be in to get one of those there's some gushers bags there's some road trip right there's some road trip snack right there but even so it's like after you've had like nine you're like okay this is this is where it should end I don't want to keep eating this because this is where it should end it feels like that's something you only get like

you go to a different country and they have them you know like that's something you see you see on the side of the like street in New York you're like whoa that's like explicit like I'm not supposed to see that right this isn't for my Midwest ass not bro just give me four fruit snacks and let me get yelled at after you want to see

you want to check the mailbox yeah bro let's go clubhouse mailbox sitting on my balls weird sorry um this is from Joey subject Jimmy John's bread and middle school football sounds like everything

yeah all right well that's the That's the title of my life. That's the title of this show. Jimmy John's read in middle school football. Like, okay, names six words that describe your entire personality. Got him. He says, first off, huge fan of the show. Congrats on all the success.

Thanks. So in eighth grade football during halftime, we had a player whose phone started ringing us. Coach was ripping us for being down and playing like shit. The kid proceeded to answer the phone and pulled it straight out of his football pants. I think we probably ran a total five miles at the next practice. What was the funniest, weirdest,

memory you have from playing youth sports? Slap my ass with a day old bag of stale Jimmy John's bread. It's screaming at me like Peyton Manning yelling at Jeff Saturday. Remember you yelled at Donald Brown? I was like, man, that's our leader. Hell yeah.

Middle school football memory? Oh my God. Dude, the phone. The phone and the, that's crazy. We had a phone guy. We had a phone guy freshman year. Really? Yeah, because he kept it in his pants too.

Freshman football too. It was like we were in a prison yard. Like that was risky. Yeah, did he get caught? Nah, but like every water break, like the coaches weren't around. We'd be like, yo, Blake, what time is it dog? Like, what time is it? Because it was so, dude, football practice freshman year was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

For no reason. I was like, I've ran a lot. a lap around a football field. Why is this 10 times harder? It was and it was so long. Everything was uncomfortable. Everything was like 10 times like hotter. Yes, yes.

I was like this sucks. Round was harder. There was more dirt. Oh, bro. You had fucking algebra and biology homework after you. Like, what is this? No, this was still summer. We didn't even, but you were like getting ready to go to high school was like kind of like

looming. You're like, oh. I don't know my locker combo. Like, I don't know shit, dude. And you're just out here like, dude, I remember our first freshman football practice. We ran two laps around the field and stretched. And then did it all again. And it was the hardest practice in my life. I was like, we didn't even do any drills, bro.

Like, I'm in for it. But yeah, we had cell phone guy. Every time we got a drink, we're like, dude, is it almost over? What time is it? And like, they gave all the shitty equipment to the freshman and football players. So cell phone guy, Blake, he had a helmet with no face mask. And like, you couldn't complain because you're not shit.

How was that even, how was that even allowed? We weren't like, time back in 2005. We weren't doing contact anything. So we were, so our coach was just like, wear it,

you know? Yeah. So it was like, damn, I just aged you. I'm sorry. That fucked me up. What the? I was like,

you were a freshman. high school like 20 years ago. Oh yeah, dude. But it was all, dude, that seems like 40 years ago. Totally, totally different time, world, everything. Now if the coach did that, I hate to be now generational football guy, but. Dude, but we weren't like hitting. So like it was just like a power move for the coach to be like, we don't give a shit what you look like, you know? Yeah. Yeah. This isn't a Fashion contest. Bro, it was so funny looking at him, though, with no face mask on. Probably the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

How quickly did he quit in the regular season? Or do you even make it to the regular season? Well, like the day we started hitting full contact today. Like they gave him like the worst face mask ever. Bar down the middle. Did he end up playing though? Or did he quit? Nah, he ended up playing.

Wow, good for him. Usually let's tell the cell phone and pans. No face mask kid. His pants probably went down to like pass his shins. Like that's where his knee pads probably were. Like that's tell-tale that kid's done before first game. He's done, bro. Yeah.

Plays a different sport or just quits and like just kind of chills. Just does like Phil Cap homework after school. Like you haven't been to practice in like three weeks. Are you done? He's like, yeah, I quit. I work at journeys now. I probably should do the same. um we had this wasn't middle school but it was high school and it was half time and we were up but only up we were playing a shitty school and we were only up by like six at half so obviously everybody's pissed and whatnot and we had this kid who sounds a lot like who you're describing of like the kid who would have no face mask the kid who would like just not show up to practice but then show up and then sometimes be like in the locker room at the game you're like are you on the fucking team or what

I don't know. And for some reason, he's sitting like near me, kind of right by me and right by one of my best friends who we talk about on this show pretty regularly, actually. And no. And coach does this talk and whatnot. We're game playing. And hey, this is what we're going to come out with in the second half.

And the coach walks away. And this kid, the, the, the, the kid who, you know, would quit type of kid. He just goes, coach. And coach looks back at him. And he goes, have we run the double pass yet? Oh my God. Oh my God.

And the coach like just looks at him and is like just thinking of who the hell are you kind of deal. Like doesn't even respond and just walks away. And me and my buddy are both just like, no, dude, we haven't. Don't. Don't ask that. Yeah, I'd have to Oh my God, man. That would make me not want to play the rest of the game.

I'd be like, I quit. Dude, some shit like that, dude, would just Do you ever get turned off during a football game? You're like, I can't. Oh, nothing worse. I'm like, I actually don't want to do any of this anymore. That's like, that's like worse than if you're in like an intimate situation, you know, with a lady and something happens and you get turned off.

having that happen in a football game where now you're just the last thing you want to do is like playing a football game or like be competitive. Horrible. Horrible. Have we run the double? Oh no.

He's trying to help but he doesn't know. I'm like, oh my God. This sucks. I know. From Jimmy. Subject after the legend. These guys, what's up fellas? I hope all as well with both of you.

already getting that ND500 fever. Love it. Anyway, I had an interesting thought I wanted to share with y'all. What are some of the most difficult acts that had to be followed in sports history? For example, the guy that had to fill in at shooting guard after Michael Jordan retired

or the guy that had to play shortstop after Jeter left the Yankees. For me, there are two that stick out. Whoever had to follow up Tim Tebow at Florida and whoever came after Reggie Bush at USC. Jesus. Slap my ass harder than he used to on the old radio head unit in the car when the CD kept skipping.

that is insane to think about who's after reggie bush i think he was kind of good i think it was like joe mcnight and then he kind of was just like joe mcnight bro that is an insane poll he was nasty rest in peace um actually passed a few years ago um night was sick he was on he was on ESP in the magazine bro because yeah he was one of good He was one of those that was insanely crazy good in high school. And then like was, it just never panned out for him to be like, oh, LeBroner. And you know what I mean?

Like he was like a good player in college and like playing the NFL for a couple of years. But he wasn't like what his high school billing was what we thought, you know? Dude, he put the area code on his eye black. I was like, he's next, baby. In high school? Yeah Who was after Tebow Who was after Tebow?

Damn, I can't even think I think they went on like a weird run They had to have they had to have gone They're still kind of on a weird run of it I don't know but it is gonna piss me off When a good college team just can't find their quarterback I'm like man that sucks for you guys Figure it the fuck out guys

I know it's like are you guys even trying Sometimes I think that Like Michigan for a while I was like, bro. Yep. I don't know. I mean, it took LSU until Joe Burrow. And I mean, they could, they never had a quarterback, dude.

Never had a quarterback. It is so weird. I'm like, how can you guys not find the guy? Meanwhile, Nebraska has had a carbon copy of the same guy for the past 27 years. I'm like this guy, same dude, run it, ripping off 80-yard runs. I'm like, who is? Is this the same guy? Martinez every year

I'm like Jesus Christ bro so I'm looking up this Florida because this is going to piss me off any guesses I'm having the worst fucking internet of course my guess is totally wrong

but I no I don't know it I don't know it there are some funny names out there if you have any come on dude let's roll of course exit page not working fuck all the way off dude

Florida quarter 20th, Florida Gators quarterback. Oh, no. Brantley? I'm going to kill myself. John Brantley? No way. Oh, this had to be one of those weird, like,

six and six Florida teams who are playing in the literal Gator Bowl on New Year's. Hey, how about when South Carolina played Iowa and the women's national championship? I was like, so is just this the Outback Bowl or what? I don't know why, but I want to bloom in onion right now. Yeah, but where's that mascot? Either way, weird. How about the kicker who followed up Sebastian Janikowski and the Raiders?

Kickers are, I don't know. Yeah, that is, who was the shooting guard after Michael Jordan, bro? I don't know. I don't want to even look. No. It's such a bad taste in your mouth. Jail and Rose or something? I don't even think he was a shooting guard.

Hey, hey, hey. Chris Duhon. Oh, God, what a legend in college. From Duke. Such a, dude, I can just hear Dickie V saying his name. Are you serious? Are you serious? Dude, the Reggie Bush one hits hard.

Because I was like, who is going to be able to do this? I remember that next year's team, like, had like, John David Booty as a quarterback. I'm pretty sure it was Joe Magnite. I'm like this is just Bizarro USC. Like Matt Liner's like weird clone. Reggie Bush's weird clone. I'm like this just isn't. It doesn't have the magic.

Hey dude, who's after Vince Young? Was it Colt McCoy? Because Colt McCoy is kind of nice. I was like, bro, is he weirdly better than Vince Young? Yeah, because he had a run. Yeah, he was there for like four. I mean, obviously he was there for four years, but I think he was like the starter for four years.

years because they went to 08. They're ranked like number one. And then Crabtree knocked him off. And McCoy was the, so Vince Young left in 06th. So I think McCoy slid right in there. There might have been a year gap, but it was they went young to McCoy.

Colt McCoy just thrown 80 yard bombs to Lymus Sweet on Sports Center. I was like, dude, no one can beat him. No one can beat him. Jamal Charles. I was like, what are we doing? Dude, the Shipley brothers.

Gipley, oh my God. The way I wanted to be him so bad. TC bands under the knee. They did set that off. They started knee bands, I swear. The white ones, nothing is better than white bands with the Texas away jerseys.

I was like, this is a masterpiece. Red River rivalry down in Dallas, Oklahoma, Texas. The fight song's playing in my head right now, bro. Lee Corso blowing someone's brains out with the Oklahoma thing. Dude, dude, when you were, when you were Texas on the video game and you played Oklahoma,

you're like, I'm actually like sweating. Oh, yeah. This is a big deal. Half burn orange, half crimson in the stadium. Who's the Oklahoma running back?

DeMarco Murray. Dude, he followed Adrian Peterson. He was sick, dude. I was like, I don't know, he might be better. Hey, number seven. Like, I was like, if they couldn't get any cooler, like Adrian Peterson and then this is the next guy.

Oh, my God. DeMarco Murray. Best. Best podcast ever. There's a couple more. I want to keep going. Oh, this is crazy. But after Leonard Fornett at LSU, I was like, there's no way.

Then that geist, bro, remember him? There's guys. Yeah, he got in some legal trouble. Yeah, he got in some trouble. But like in college, that dude, insane. Yeah, like LSU running backs and DBEs, Ohio State,

wide receivers and DBSs. Dude, it's, it's really, it's Michigan offensive tackles. Yep. Offensive tackle you. Michigan, Wisconsin, Iowa,

Notre Dame. That's the big, that's a big, That's a big four linemen. Yep. And then LSU, Ohio State. Clemson receivers. Clemson receivers.

Yeah. I mean, Ohio State's kind of like quarterback, too, just because like they always have someone to get skill players and the quarterback's just going there and just fucking... Penn State. Oh, yeah, linebacker for sure. Hey, Paul Puzzlewsney. Like, be more of a linebacker from birth, dog.

Paul What do you want to be when he grows up? Just you know what he's going to be When he grows up. He's just going to fill the B gap Dude, what What number was Paul Puzzlezny Dude, in college?

51 No, no way. That was him in the pros. I'm pretty sure Paul Puzzlezny was 40. No. Fuck, this is going to drive me nuts. Puzzluzz, dude. You know, he's really easy to confuse

with Luke Keekely. Damn it was, no, it was 31. It was 31 in college. 51, I believe in the pros. That's a hard number, bro. And you know, they just gave him 31. He didn't ask for it, nothing. They're just like, we got 31.

He's like, I'll take it. And then just rolled with it. Just best linebacker ever, bro. Puzzlers, dude. Puzzlers. Puzzlers, a flying from sideline to sideline. That's incredible.

Incredible. Who's your sneaky team on the NCAA college video game? That's the question of the week here. Ooh. Yeah, when Penn State, on that team, they had Michael Robinson as a quarterback.

He was good. They were so good. Penn State always has a really good DB, too. JPJ, baby, Joey Porter Jr. Yep. Who's your sneaky team in college football? Like, dude,

I would take down like my friends would be like Texas or USC I'd be Iowa State and just fucking wow just something about them dude tall white receiver fast

you'd say what Texas A or Texas Tech was a a popular one what was their offense called like air attack? I was like air raid they had that on there

you can pick your offense dude is Mike Leach, baby, rest in peace bro if you went to Texas with Vince Young and then picked Texas Tech's offense Bye See ya Okay State Kind of a sneaky one

Ooh God On Big 12 Yeah they're sexy Texas A&M a little bit too I'd slide in there Texas A&M Big 12 boys. That's a good one though. Yeah, let us know. And what year?

What team and what year? What team? There's always a quarterback, bro, that just like, it was on a weird squad and he was like 96 speed and you're just like, oh. That's all he needed.

Yeah, I'm going to rock with JMU this game. So it was Marcus Vick in Virginia Tech. Oh, Marcus, oh God. Marcus Vick, dude. he got in some trouble as well what could have been right all right

good show uh team these guys at gmail dot com official joey mullinero dot com benedictipolizzi dot com uh Hartford

fall of the show Hartford Thursday for Ben Buffalo Wednesday for me wingies wingy time Joey likey Joey won wingy

so cool appreciate you guys and yeah we'll talk next week see you next time these guys these guys bye bye bye Beanie Wells

Bobby Carpenter dude who are both Ohio State guys holy shit that's pretty sick