THESE GUYS! - Time To Steal Some Candy

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

🎟 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗡 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗝𝗢𝗘𝗬 𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗔𝗧 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗜𝗧 𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗗𝗬 𝗗𝗘𝗖𝗘𝗠𝗕𝗘𝗥 𝟮𝟮https://dettickets.houseofcomedy.net/event/benedict-polizzixFIl4hVOn this episode Ben and Joey drafted foods for the holidays and talk about Joey's cameo on Family Guy

Teachers that would let you take your shoes off in class. I'm doing it right now. Dude, that's weird. The hell is that about? Bro, a people. People that take their shoes off like in a corporate job. Dude, people do that. Oh, yeah.

Bitches do that. I used to have coworkers that walk around barefoot. Where do you think you are? Santa Bell Island. Dude. But yeah, like fifth and sixth grade, we'd have some teachers. It'd be like, yeah, go ahead. You know, we're having reading time.

just take your shoes off. I never did. That's disgusting. I was like, this is weird. Because you always got one poking out. That's right. You got that storybook sock on.

Yeah. Yeah. The Hey Arnold's sock. Hey Arnold's sock with a little, with a nipple on the end of it. It's like a baby bottle. Hi. It always pissed me off.

I was like, is that supposed to be their big toe that's that big? Or did they just not put their sock on all the way? The Mickey Mousefoot. Yes. Oh. Episode 7, These guys.

These guys. It's been any Pulitzer Joey, Mullenero. Subscribe. Yes, please. Spotify, Apple podcast.

These guys. We're rocking out at wave one. Downtown Indianapolis. Awesome set up here. Awesome set up here. I can't talk you. I missed up on last name.

It's all good. One to one. Score is one to one. Both of them have strokes. I can't. Dude, keep the I can't talk meter going all podcast, baby. We got I can't talk meter and the dumb, dumb bell and burpee boy. What's dumb dumb bell? Got to ring the dumb dumbbell.

If you jumped off sides? No, we talked about it last week. Jumping off sides or, you know, fumbling. One of those big cowbells you ring at the end of a game. Your O lineman jumps off sides. 15 striper. Bing, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Dude, oh, lineman always so out of breath, too.

You feel bad for him, kind of because, you know, they never did. A part of me did because everybody would be like, come on, Simmons. And he's like, I, I can't. I never, dude, I never really thought there are that, like, out. Dude, linemen are just like a different whole entire part of football. They're like their own. There's so many fuckers on a football team, if you think about it.

There's like 90. The whole coaching staff. The whole coaching staff is like 37 people. Dude, not like Alabama. I think they have 100 coaches. Oh, yeah. More coaches than every player has its own coach. Personal coach.

That's great. That's next, bro. That's next. Got to be coach them up. Everybody's got a coach here. Everybody's got a coach here. Literally just lives with them. Goes everywhere with them.

Just in their locker right when they get there. I'd love that. In their apartment or their dorm and they're sitting in a chair right by their bed. Oh boy Personal coach PC Personal coach Is your PC or your PC?

But What was I going to say? What's up with the shoes off though? So I can put my feet up here Okay so you really just wanted to sit The shoes on the furniture Okay Yeah I remember I did that one time of your apartment

And you were like I mean I was like Damn I don't know man is one of your shitty-ass couches. I was like charging my phone. It was like two in the morning. You know, I'm not a big shoes off guy just because I think that's a pretty personal thing. And if they were hanging off, that's fine. Yeah, that's what, no. It was literally like this. Like the,

the end of the heel of my shoe was just kind of hanging on the couch. And maybe I was like doing one of these. And Ben looks at me as like, I mean, hey. And I said, yeah. And he looked at my shoes. and then kind of like tilted his head the other way like get him off and I was like oh shit my bad and he just goes I mean I'm like okay somebody had some trauma growing up from having the shoes on the furniture oh got it for sure my family me my mom my dad we don't ever take our shoes off I like I like that now god I used to go to my grandma's house and shoes a shoes on house it was such a relief Christmas day just walking in not taking them off I'm like, yes. Well, Christmas Day, you kind of want to, like,

trade those bitches in for some slippers or something. Yeah, but like Christmas, it was later in the day. It was like 4 p.m. Still. Christmas is an all-day slipper day. Is it? All-day slipper pajamas.

Dude, I just go to Target. Steelers slips. I know you got some. I do have some Steelers slips. Yeah, for sure. The moccasins. Oh, yeah. The fluffy inside.

I swear my dad still has them. Fuck, yeah, dude. Those are awesome. Dude, how cold are your feet in the morning? for real. Especially like my house. It's just ice cold. Hardwood floors. How about every girl just trying to put their feet on you because they're cold?

Like ever like sitting next to a girl on a 115 degree day in Arizona still has her feet under your thigh. Vacation. Yeah. Still. How? We're laying out on the beach. Hey, in the sand. It feels

so good to put your feet in the sand. Oh, that icy sand, the cold sand that's in a shadow. God. Wow. Just digging that's a feeling that doesn't get talked about enough. It doesn't. Dude, when I stand on the beach and talk to somebody, I just do this with my feet.

Digging. By the end of the conversation, I'm like 4-7. I'm like, I know. I know. They're just spinning you in there like a top. It is, right. I'm down in there. I'm touching weird. The sand's real cold down there. Right. There's like a salman. touching your foot or something.

It's part of it. Part of the deal. It's part of the deal. Salamander. I don't even know. Definitely not in the beach. Sounded good though. Salamanda.

It's George picking salamander mode. That's what he calls it. Yeah, I've heard a goblin mode. I haven't heard of salamander mode. That's a real thing. How does the Steelers do this past weekend? Don't want to talk about it. Actually, when this episode goes live,

they are coming off a buy. So actually, this is the best weekend of the year so far. so because they're not playing but yeah it's not great it's not great you move on you grow up you move on that's the beauty of being almost 30 years old is you know there's only one hole in the door

as compared to the whole door ripped off because you're so mad about your team you know it's the curse that we live with never forget that video of home boy fucking ripping the door off the wall we can't look at it right now but you know what I'm talking about I think it's like a wrestler or something.

Man, there's so many of those. Dude, and he just takes it... And it's how can you tell if it's real or fake? Brother, but there's some doors that you open up and you're like, man, I could fucking rip this thing on. You ever think that? And then there's some doors, you're like, ah!

You know, the hardest doors ever? Or do you ever want to just like absolutely lower your shoulder, getting a three-point stance and just fire off and just right into a door and see how much damage you can do? Hand like this. yes the fingers are wiggling when you played football you've never gone harder than

you have when you're lining up against the soft door just like this every picture picture picture football picture day there's always a kid that's like number 48 kind of sucks no I wouldn't be 48 dude to be 37 who's that impressing though

like even your mom's like it's cute but like you suck yeah I don't I don't understand why that was ever the pose the football pose for picture day It had to be the knee, one knee, hand on the helmet with a football in the other hand. That looks at least pretty like cool and athletic. Why are you on a knee? Get up.

Everything about that? Oh, it's like, tired? Get to fuck up. You're the quarterback. It's just like, no, dude. The photographer that doesn't know anything about football and they just hired him like last Oh, yeah.

And it's like the quarterback, like the best quarterback in the whole league. And he's like, all right, get in your stance. Just rocking number 12 has like the play

band on his arm. The towel. Still making him a three point stance. Quarterback. Eye black. A little lower, a little lower, a little lower like this in his picture.

How about linemen, bro? This podcast's all about linemen. Yeah. doing their linemen doing anything doing their past block yeah their their past sets I'm like dude what do you do you ever try one of those you ever try firing off a little pass block set I would love to it feels pretty good when you like rip one like hit that back foot kick you get that kick let you gave that kick back you know really fire off they can move depth

they can move those 19 strippers bro don't don't ever criticize linemen they will come for your head no they won't brother the nicest people oh not online man they take that personally like maybe like maybe if it's like in the locker room or you're like buddy buddies with them you know what I mean but yeah online you know not when you're on the defensive line and they're right now when you're on D line they're cross from you I thought you meant I was like in a

is he talking about a chat room or like the line of scrimmage or like what is he talking about not online no and he's firing off low and he's thrusting his hips through it feels good man sometimes I'll make my sister try to do a pass pass rush against me. Oh, and you got a block. See, that's fun for them. If you're like, trying to get by me, I'd be like, all right, okay. Let's do this. Yeah, yeah. Do you guys ever

you know I'd hit you with one of these though? Hey. Oh, the swim and rip? I'm all about the rip. Oh, the rip. Yeah. Had some PTSD from the swim move one time. Yeah. What happened? Dude, I was just, I don't know. It was just kind of my go-to move. Like, like actual, actual college football was kind of my go-to move coming off the edge for some stupid shit. Did they? Like field goal block. Oh, nice. And I was on the edge like this guy.

Yeah. And I did one. Got by and like I got close. And then the next play dude, the guy grabbed me right here and like sent me to the street. Yeah. And I was like, I don't even want to be on this team anymore.

No, I'm actually going to go join the swim team. I'm done with special teams. That's what drew the line. Bro, did that ball? Did you ever get one? And the ball just absolutely. fucking ricocheted off your hands.

No, I never got it. Dude, I wouldn't block a kick. Dude, when people block kicks, I think it's the most impressive thing. How great does that seem to just have an NFL kicker? Yeah, just line up for a 46-yard or somehow you get through. You get your hands in there.

Just like you said, just the double ricochet. As soon as it hits the foot, then hits your hands. Bro, oh, the feeling. Dude, you know that would feel so good. Oh. People would like that.

People said, oh, that looks like it would hurt. Nah. I was a low-key scared of it. One time I almost blocked a punt. I swear I got a little bit scared though. I was like, it's gonna hurt. Yeah, and then like the guy's literally, he's kicking.

His leg is flying through at you. I know. The coach was like, Pulitzer, you could have had that. And I was like, I know. Did I get a piece? Trust me,

I thought a lot about it. Dude, we were playing like Northern Michigan or something like crunch time. And I was like, I got to, I didn't want to get kicked in the fucking nuts. That's one of the most exhilarating things in an NFL. game too when you're watching and they have that behind the punter view and you see the rush coming and

you know, I and he goes like, oh! And then. Dude, announcers. Announcers. Oh, it's blocked. You think they practice like in key moments? Because they just are so good. No. You don't think anything it just comes to him. I've read multiple of like Joe Buck, Iron Eagle. I think like all the heavy hitters. They all said no, you like you can't practice that. You just have to react in the moment because if you practice it, then it's in your head, then all of a sudden, like, if there's one little stumble, Gus Johnson might be the only one. There's no way Gus Johnson isn't thinking his shit. He's got chasing or running from the cop speed. He's not coming up with that. Bro, I heard I was watching the Penn State, Ohio State game a couple weeks ago and Gus Johnson was on the call. I never heard

this before and I started dying because he gets. He has to be. Bro, the score is 1413. He goes, Ohio State down by a penny I like I like it I mean you never hear anybody say that it's really good you know

let's mix that in you're down by five down by a nickel dude somebody was down by seven in the NBA and they said down by a touchdown and I fucking went in my grave

I was like he's so right bro I hate dude that's so funny like local team announcers will love nothing to do more than trying to switch it up so much by saying something like that. Like instead of down seven down by a touchdown, instead of being at the Colts Complex, they're over off West 56th Street.

Tell us the truth. Instead of Lucasoil Stadium, the house that Peyton built. Yeah. Dude, that was me. Anything but the real words. Nap towns. Naptown fell asleep. last night.

Dude, everybody, man. And you know that's taught in, like, media school where they're just like, no, no, you know, get a little creative with it, right? I don't think it is, dude. I just wanted, I just didn't want to be a fucking stiff neck sports guy. So I was like, I got to say something different, dude.

Every, all that, we should just play all my sports updates. And review them. This dude, so Ben, like, like we talked about, we worked at the same. being Sports Station in indie. Flagship. And Ben would have to do overnight sports reports.

And everybody else you did and would just, you know, you're typical. It's like the one minute break that comes in when you're on your ride to work. And everybody else would, you know, the music would come on.

Everybody would be like, the Pacers fell last night until Milwaukee. 106 to 92. Coach Carlisle had this to say after the game. Ben would literally be like, like you said Nap Town wasn't snapping

last night coach talk to him he's so funny man everybody else is just a straight up sports reporter I couldn't do it dude I didn't have it in me one time I rhyme the whole thing the Colts got trounce last night by Washington Frank Reich not happy after the game Ben's like

shit wouldn't even do it just goes seven minutes of silence. Just giving people nicknames that they didn't even have. Coach McMillan for the Pacers, I'd be like, Coach Mac, what's up? Go right to the interview. You're like, since when is he coach Mac to anybody?

I was like, I don't know. Bro. Who did that? Greg Gunwell did that not too long ago. He took the liberty of calling somebody, like their name was William, him and he called him Bill. Dude,

you get what you get, bro, that's how you get a nickname. It was so random. I was like, great gumble of all people. Has anybody ever given you a nickname that you hated?

Bro, somebody calls you, uh, moles. Oh, Clint. Yeah, yeah.

And it's funny because Clint, like, he loves listening to us, so he's definitely a name. Oh, for sure. Uh, it is,

it does work when only he says it. Yeah, exactly. There's always those nicknames that everybody has, that there's only like one, maybe, two people that say it and you're like yeah it's whatever but like if you said that about get

out of here oh man yeah yeah you got to give it to the guys that just have had one nickname for you their whole entire lives and they just stand by it they're not calling you shit else yeah it's um but my name's already a nickname so it's just that's what it is you know how about you just not not transitioning to joe ever so proud. So proud of you. Nothing pisses me off more when people try to take the liberty to do that themselves. Yo, Joe!

They don't like that? How we doing, Joe? Hey, Joe. What if it's a guy that doesn't really know you too well? Not my name. See, that's a different thing. It's like I have friends also who are like, Joe, Joe, like, oh, what's up, Joe? And it's like, that's different. They can, but it's somebody who, like, I work with or somebody who... That knows your name. That knows

that I'm Joey. Stop. No one's ever said Joe. Ew, Joe Molanaro. That doesn't sound fun. Your dad. Yep, pretty much. Doesn't sound fun. Any name that's Joe, it just isn't.

Every dad's name is Joe. You're never. Was he Joey as a kid? Probably not. Too business. He's too strict to be Joey. Yeah, I don't want to play those games at the Y at the end. What are we doing here?

Do you name me this? Is your dad ever had a birthday party? Oh, I would kill myself. Like even when he was our age or a kid? Oh, dude, my dad. My dad hates his birthday so much, bro. But there wasn't never even a time where he liked it? No.

Dude, and you know us. We don't celebrate shit on the right day. Where's family of all time? Who has time? There literally needs to be a reality show on you guys. That would be the funniest reality show ever. But like, we've had Christmas in like February. That's what?

That is your Christmas. February is your Christmas. That's literally every year since I've been doing this with you, it's been like February 22nd. You'll send me a photo like at your dads or at garden table for brunch with like Christmas presents on the table. What the fuck's going on? Dude,

that's time to meet up on Christmas. We play everyone in the world. Like an hour before. I'm like, so we doing this or what? I'm in Utah. I'm in Florida. I'm like, all right, so see you never. But like, we won't go out for my birthday until like two weeks from now. How was the birthday?

Hmm. Weird. I didn't really do. I just had a bunch of other shit to do. So I was like doing that all that. I didn't really even think about anything. Yeah, I know. I texted you 16 bit tonight thinking like, oh, yeah, Ben's ready for this.

He's 16 bid Lord. And then all of a sudden, nah, I'm just chilling, man. I was like, wow. He goes so 32. Wow. someone's fucking 32. Who's going out on the nose on their birthday, though? You got to go out on your birthday the night before.

So the clock strikes midnight. You got the whole day. Yeah, well, I've done that before. But at the same time, I just, I don't know what rules you're coming up with here where you're like, who has time to celebrate Christmas? Everybody has that day off. They don't. What do you tell?

They'll have it off, but like, come on, man. Like, just you don't have to. It's too. forced. Bro, you've been at my family's on Christmas Day or Christmas year. Yeah, that feels right. It's too forced. It's all get together right now!

What about Thanksgiving? We don't postpone Thanksgiving. You got to watch the lions. Yeah, that's why. And that's why. Now, when somebody else makes the plans, like my family will be like, all right, fuck, we got to go. But if it's like under our,

like family rules. We're like, eh. You know, like we don't celebrate Christmas as a full family like with my cousins and stuff like we used to.

But if that was going down on the 25th, we'd be there. But since it's just like a my family thing, it's just like, yeah, we'll get to it when we get to it.

Did that stuff? You know, fuck it. Won't be till St. Patty's Day. Then you get two Christmases. That's perfect. Did you, did you stop going

with your cousins once your like grandfoke, grand, grandparents passed away? Yeah. Yeah, that's what happens. That's weird. Didn't know that was the deal breaker.

Hey, mom and dad aren't here anymore. Peace. Then all the families do their own. Mom and dad were like, let's keep them together. They really were. That's the only reason anybody cared. That's the fuck about these people.

Well, we're hosting Christmas Eve at my house. No. Oh, Christmas Eve. You want to come? Holy shit. Steelers Raiders. 815. I've never heard of anyone host.

That's the most huge shit ever. Let's host Christmas Eve. No one hosts Christmas. We just got a new house. I'm not shitting on it, but like I've just never heard of that idea. Yeah, we hosting Christmas is like, that's a big deal. Christmas Eve, way more fun. Seriously?

Christmas Eve is a lot of people host Christmas Eve. I didn't know that. Yeah. I'm, I like where the party goes down is Christmas Eve. And Christmas Day is like, yeah, the big Christmas dinner, hoopla. Okay. But Christmas Eve is also like, that's a good one, bro.

That's the even bigger celebration. So you're dead. So you're decorating. Yeah, I was actually just trying to get quotes for Christmas lights. Like you're going to have somebody come in and do them? Yeah, because I can't do it.

I can't do it. You on a ladder. Me with a staple gun? Gutter. You hanging onto a gutter. You know how many pictures I would take of you? Oh my God. You want a ladder.

Bro. Not a chance. Thank you for being a normal human and hiring someone to do some shit. And also they come out, they do it for you. bring a Santa Claus so Frank can meet Santa or whatever. And then, so then it's all festive because Santa's there and they're putting up the Christmas lights, but then also they come and they take them back down. It's a full thing. They have a, they just, during intermission, they have a Santa that

just, I don't know. I got a little more into it, but it said on the shit that I was looking at, it said, hey, we come out and we bring Santa too. Sounds unbelievable. Yeah, so I'm doing that. Who's not high. Right. He's not buying this. You know what's called? You know what's called? What? My guy. So it's my guy for these guys. That's such a good. That's how Christmas lights should be.

What's the lights are you getting? I don't know yet. But I got a lot of pressure on me because that one year old's birthday party my neighbor that I went to a couple weekends ago, I got informed that because it was real nice. Like these people have been on the street for a while. And so they are very, they're the neighbors that like they go out of their way to like, you know, give a little gift basket.

get welcome you to the neighborhood, invite you to their kids' birthday party to like bringing cookies to your door? Yeah. Make you like poison. When Frank was born, they brought over like a thing of diapers and like a little like six pack of beer and everything and who'd they kill. So they're super, super nice unless you're Ben. And so we go over to their birthday party for their one year old.

And I get informed during that. They're like, yeah, we have a street rule that there has to be some. sort of Christmas light representate, like, even if it's just on your doorway or whatever, you got to have some lights. We're like, we all went in on it like five years ago and we've been doing it. And I was like, oh, like, okay, cool. I was like, is there a rule? I was like, is there a rule about who has to put them up?

Because I'll hire somebody to put them up. They're like, no, just as long as they're there. And I was like, all right, cool. So I was looking into it. And like I said, we just bought this house back in February, first Christmas, first Christmas with the baby boy. We're taking over the duties from Rice parents where we usually go on Christmas Eve and we're having it at our place.

You're more than welcome to come. That's hard, bro. Probably have some lasagna or something. Shut. Oh, it is so. Everything's so Italian during Christmas. Yeah. What else can you even eat on Christmas?

I know. Is there another option? We did this on espresso, I think, like, five years ago. Remember we like literally drafted for each holiday? What food you... Bro, that's my dad's favorite segment that I've ever told him about. What you talk about in the podcast? This is the same shit.

What did you do at school today? What did you talk about on the podcast? I was like, we drafted meat for each holiday. He's like, no, what? I've never seen them like,

have a reaction like this before. Immediate download. So Christmas is, what did we just, I mean, Thanksgiving, obviously is turkey. Yeah.

Easter's obviously ham. Uh-huh. Uh, what'd we say for Christmas? Christmas. Is it like sausage or something? I don't know if we said meat. I thought it was just,

meals because Christmas, it was Christmas Eve. You had a good one for it, bro. And I was like, oh, I didn't even think of that. I, like, oh, damn. Well, now I'm trying to rack the brand. I think it might have been, we were thinking meats, maybe. I mean, but, you're forgetting meatballs, right? I mean, it's like, or no, I had stuffed shells. Oh, shit. Yeah, maybe, maybe we just did meals. I don't know. Oh, bro. Maybe. Maybe. Rosebee. No. No, wasn't that. I wasn't. I don't think you're going to. like this one, but was, I'm just thinking about something I've done. Was it like a chick-fil-a-nugget tray? I don't know. Because it's like everything else is so like fancy and done up and then it's just like

nuggets. That is good though. You have that every now and then like I think on Christmas day usually. My mom will get a nugget tray like three days before while they're still open. And then like during the day we'll have a big old nugget tray on Christmas day. But New Year's Chinese food. That's a good sleeper right there. That's a good one. I think that's it. Are there other Halloween? You're not eating shit on Halloween.

We were talking about it. That was a week ago. Anyways. Whatever. What were we just? Okay. So what lights are you getting on your house? You think?

Like, what's in your head? You know, I've seen some TikToks about this. And it's a tough dilemma on to talk with the life about it. But you have, you know, there's been the TikToks that I've seen that's like you want

Classy Christmas or do you want traditional Christmas and classy Christmas is like the all white lights, the kind of white, silver, gold theme inside. And then traditional is like the technicolor red, green, blue, yellow, yellow, purple. And then like inside is kind of like, they call it like cheesy, but I'm like, I love that. So I, I can really see both. I'm sure with the decor side and like the aesthetic that my wife is wanting, she'd probably want the. the gold, white, silver. But I'm, you know, I'm kind of cheesy traditional guy. They're all in the ugly sweater. Let's get some technicolor life. Let's roll. Yeah. I kind of like cheesy, too.

I mean, because it is cheesy. So lean into it. Right. Yeah. Because if you go to a Christmas party or a holiday party or whatever, and it's out of place to where it's like really, you know, all too nice. Everything.

Yeah, all the lights are white or gold. And you walk in, you're listening. You're like, I can't have fun here. Yeah. Do I take my shoes? off or not. If you have to think about, do I take my shoes off or not, you're not having fun. Yeah. Or like, you're like thinking about, did I bring

the wrong, should I have brought something better? Did I not bring enough? Yeah. Oh, damn. If you go into a cheesy Christmas, you're like, you got six pack of bush light, you're good. Mud on your shoes. Oh yeah. Toe poking out. Let's go. Fucking Mickey toes.

Mickey toes are on the stuffed in the couch. Stuffing in the beach. It's Stuffing in the couch. Not a care in the world. Mickey toes popping, bro. That's where I'm leaning. That's where I'm leaning.

Bro, somebody stole a bowl. This is right. Somebody stole a bowl off of our porch of candy. But literally on the ring light, have it. No way. Yeah, we went to my sisters for Halloween. They had a great little setup and, you know, the whole garage open, fire pit in there,

hot apple cider. It was tops. It was great. But while we were gone, we, you know, we had kids in our neighborhood and in our street. So we don't want to leave them hanging, right? You don't want to be that house.

I can't believe you just put it out there. So we put it out there, you know, I mean, it's on our porch and usually just take one, take a couple. We don't care. But there you go. Happy Halloween. On the way home, literally in the back seat. Somebody just stole the bowl off of our front porch.

I was like, what? You had to. In the back of your head, you had to know. I mean, that happens so many places every year on Halloween. Like everybody puts out just a bowl of candy if they're not home. home or elsewhere if they don't want to I was waiting for that house when I was a kid.

Bro, but a seventh grade little idiot kid. Bro, if there was a bowl unguarded, see ya. Well, yeah. Mom's getting a new bowl. I'm getting 30 racks of 100 grand.

You son of a bitch. Dude, I ain't. Dude, come on. But this, yeah, it was definitely like kind of a huskier kid and his dad or his parents. I think what they were doing is they were driving the kid around.

and then drive by Halloween literally it was and they it was a Dodge Charger it was a white Dodge Charger I would call it out steal my bowl was the license play I was looking pull up park kid gets out of the back seat on the driver's side runs up knocks over our sign takes the bowl turns around scurries down the stairs and says something on the way back to the car that I couldn't tell you're trying to get I was trying to yeah you got to read those lips. No, you can't read the lips. His head was back to, you know, you can hear audio, but you can hear audio. It sounds something like, oh, it's tight, or something like that. And the kid ran around, got into the backseat on the driver's side again. I wonder what

he actually said. I don't, yeah, I was a pruder filmed it. Me and I, right, last night, we were, you know, on Halloween night, we were holding up to our ear trying to be able to decipher and tell. I was like, QMF, man. Luckily, it was like, you know, way. after trick-or-treating was probably done. So all the kids who aren't jackasses came by and were able to just get some candy. With the parents, bro, that's not a good look. Yeah, I'm like, what the hell are?

I do that. That's a solo mission as a kid. Well, yeah, what are these parents who are just like, hey, Johnny, come on, let's go. You won't? You won't pussy? We're going. Time to steal some candy. Say some shit on your way out, too. Like, fuck y'all.

Fuck y'all. That's what he really said. Pretty much, man. That's what it felt like. They're going houses all around the place, man. they just pull up. Oh, that one, that one, that one's clear. A lights are off. Bull outside. Dude, the lights off house on Halloween. So funny. The guy, I just like, nah.

Nah, yeah. But they would leave it out too and always be shitty candy. Definitely a single dad there. Nah, good hell. No light, nothing, bro. Nah. Bro, I was, um, aw. Every time I ring the doorbell.

Don't think they're home. I do got to say, I know this, I know this episode is out a week after Halloween, but I do got to say the art of trick-or-treating has really been lost upon the younger generation. I don't even know what they do. They don't say trick-or-treat. They just show up. Yeah. They just show up and like if the bowl is there, they just start taking some without even acknowledging that you're there. Or if they come up to the door, they just open up the, you know, they bring the doorbell, you open up the door, and then they just kind of stand there. I'm like, yeah? I don't think I'd be, I'd be like an old man to that, you know? I was. I was kind of

Like, go what do you say? Come on. And they'd be like, that's that weird guy. But what was crazy is that their parents were like with them at the end of the driveway. I'm like, tell the kids to say trick or treat. That's weird. You bet your ass when I take Frank in like three or four years, I'll be like, this first words.

Trick or treat. What do we say? Trick or treat. What do we say? Thank you. I just shut the door right in their face if they don't say shit. And also nobody had pillowcases. That was the way to go.

That's what I was talking about on my other pot on espresso. Like, dude, the little skull, bucket, pumpkin? Not that. What are you putting that? What are you putting in there? Two houses worth a candy. Pillow case. Swing the block once.

Back home. Dump it off. One more time, dude. Lost art. Bro, the pillowcase was where it was. I think I had a black trash bag once in a year. That'd be the move. Dress up like a homeless guy for Halloween and have a trash bag.

Nice. Dude, that thing was, that thing was stretching. Yeah. Could feel the grooves. on that hefty, bro. Bro. And it's weird.

I just remember Halloween night when we were kids. It just felt like total chaos. Like it felt like there was 8,000 kids on one street. Every single house on the street had a different set of kids at that time.

Sometimes you had to wait because kids were still up there and you had to like wait for them to get done and then go up after them. Like it was that busy. It was like your first almost a party experience as a kid. Yes.

Like that feeling. Because remember you'd be like kind of hot because you'd be excited. Oh yeah, man. You're like, we're about to do that. And then, and then like, right when you get going on Halloween, you're like, ah, this is going to suck. Like, it's not going to be like last year. And then you wait like 20, 30, 40 minutes and shit's popping. Yeah. And you're like, oh shit. It's better than last year. Get one of the houses that gives you the really dope candy or big one or something. What is this going to be there again? Yeah, or the one house that scares people. So, soda. Wait, people were giving out. My grandpa, my grandpa. My grandpa

used to give away, he used to work at Mike sells and used to give away the mini bags of Mike sells chips. That's fire. Dude, if a house was giving out mini bags of chips. Yeah, we were always, we were always cleared out, that's for sure. If I got some crunchy Cheetos,

that'd be some shit my dad would take away from me. You ever get something too good? Your parents are like, no, no, no, no, no. They would have to hold on for a special time, you know? Like, I could have some that night, but if it was like, they'd be like, okay, well, you want to hold off on it until later. Yeah, you save your good shit till the end.

Yeah. I don't know. Lost, lost art there, you know? Just not many people running around anymore. Everybody said that it's, I guess because there's like a shit ton of trunk or treats and stuff nowadays.

You've heard trunk or tree where it's like at your local like, we've taught. I think you brought this up to me. Football stadium or your local church or, you know, the strip mall where your dad works, you know, where's insurance.

agency is. They're like, hey, State Farm's having the trunk or treat from one to two. Get out of here, dude. Wait, so I know this is stupid because Halloween's over, but who cares? Do people celebrate Halloween on Halloween or do they like, does like the local news? Like Halloween's going to be on Sunday night this year. Hey, when that happens. I was talking.

Yeah, I was talking with my family about that too. Dude on the day. Dude on the day. Don't matter if it's a Monday or whatever. That's prime time Halloween on a weird. weekday. Yeah, because then it gives you something to look forward to. At school, how about just wearing costumes like at your job and shit on Halloween? Big board meeting. What's our mission? Dressed as a fucking cowboy. Mustache hanging off a little bit. What's our mission? Johnson?

Dressed up as a clown. How you do anything is how you do everything. Bro. I was thinking about it. That's what I thought. I was thinking about it too. Like, that was our going into an NBA game. It was like when you were leaving, when you were leaving school on Halloween and you were head back to the car or you're heading to the house just knowing you were about to fuck up a costume and some candy. Little Benny Politi scored two full pillowcases last year. Looking for the return. Will it be able to on this cold jury Tuesday night?

I thought it was so... I think it's still kind of weird how people can just wear Halloween shit like on the day. That is funny. Yeah, at work. Dude, just like in high school. Talking so serious business.

Sitting there in Algebra 101 with a Michael Myers mask on. I'm like, I don't know, bro. Like, what are you doing in there? That's the best. That's what I did. I dressed up as Michael Myers. It's fucking hilarious.

Yeah, it was great. Scared my mom. Scared my sister. Pythagorean Theorem. Just dressed as Chuckie's bride. All right. By talking about holidays way after they're over. By you've been doing this three weeks ago.

Can't ever plan that out. That's all right. Somebody's still probably having a late Halloween party. Oh, today. Imagine. I thought about just going down my hallway like apartment last night and just knocking doors. they open up what i'm like what do you mean what trigger tree let's fucking where's the candy come on dressed up have a football jersey on not even trying a football player okay you get a hundred

grand bar jersey way too small that's what you get 100 grand bar's slap no you hate them shut up no good no no no no not you neither's milky way milky way is like would you forget Yeah. Yeah, my sister and her husband tried to tell us that Milky Ways are super good. Some people really like them. And I'm like, okay, have you had a Snickers, you idiot? I know. What the f?

The worst version of Snickers. There you go. Yeah, if they run out of Snickers and Reesies, then you have a Milky Way. Snickers plant ran out of peanuts. And they're like, we got to do something. I guess we'll just fill it with this nasty shit. It's just, it's missing something, bro. Yeah, it really is.

hate it. Milky Way's the guy on the way to work. It's like, I know, I forgot something. Milky Way is the candy that like the Monday before Thanksgiving, it's all that's left in the Halloween bowl and you're like, all right.

Here's a Halloween 1998. Put it back. I can talk about this shit forever. I know. Dude, I was on I was on Family Guy on Sunday. No!

Yeah. by the time this comes out. Bro. Yeah. They talk a pretty cool. Talk to me, baby. This is, this is sick.

What, dude, this is insane. You need to like say that again. If you haven't watched, if you didn't watch on Sunday night at 930 on Fox, um,

the episode lives on all their seasons and their episodes live on Hulu and they go live on Hulu. And they go live the next day on Hulu. So if you haven't watched when it was live, then you can go on to Hulu if you have it and check out the episode. Season 21, episode 7. Low key dream. The stew away. What was your part?

Owen Wilson. Dude, that's so he. Pretty wild. Yeah. I remember you told me about that a while ago and I was like, well, that's what it just seemed to too insane. I was like, you can't even wrap my head around this. That's what's really crazy is that, uh, so I recorded the part for this. in like early October of 2021.

Yeah. So it's been, yeah, it's been over a year. I've been over a year coming for it, but. Dude, so they're like writing episodes

a year before shit happens. Isn't that crazy? Mm-hmm. A year? Yeah. I don't know how. I don't know how they do it. Because I thought like,

I thought it was like the Monday comes out on Sunday. Yeah, yeah, right. That's what I thought too. But I guess just with all the anime, I mean, it makes sense.

Like the animation and everything would be crazy to do in that short amount of time. But don't they like keep up with like pop culture? Yeah, pretty well. But at the same time, then when you watch Family Guy after knowing that, you're like, okay, this is kind of just like ever like, like, it's the mix between evergreen and current. Yeah. You know? Okay.

So like this season, there's been like mentions of like COVID and they have like podcast jokes and stuff like that in there. And you're like, okay. It's just like kind of like. that'll live. Kind of broad. Right, right. But it's,

it's current without being like pinpoint. A year before. Yeah. Couldn't, couldn't imagine. I know. Can't even do Christmas. Can't even organize Christmas.

Imagine doing something, planning something a year before. There's definitely a woman in charge of that. Guys would be like, I don't know. We'll get it out the day of. Well, that's what's crazy is that like,

so not this past week, because that was the one that was on, but the week before, which was Halloween week, like the Sunday, yeah, it was October 30th. is when that episode came out

and it was like a Halloween centric episode. So like look at the calendar. I plan, all right, well, we got to have this one ready for that Sunday because we're going to do a Halloween one

just like I'm sure they'll do a Thanksgiving one. But yeah, I was like recording my lines. I was like, all right. So is this going to come out in like a few weeks probably? They're like, oh no.

It'd probably be like over a year. And I was like, oh, are we really doing this or is this a joke? Yeah. So this is a scam. Anyway. Thanks.

Yeah, man. So it's pretty cool. Pretty excited about it. Pretty proud of it. I can't wait for you to post that on Instagram. Oh, yeah. Bro, that's going to be so sick. Do you have like a recording of you doing the lines? No, I took some pictures. But, uh, yeah, seeing the name in the blue font. That was pretty sick. That was pretty wild. You got a picture of that. Yeah. Yeah. So that's go check it out. It's not, it's not a lot. It's just a cameo. But I'm in there. I'm in there. I'm in there. Yeah. On family guy. You're gonna put that in your bio on Instagram?

Family Guy season 21? What a sick credit though. Pretty cool credit. Yeah. First one, I think. No. I don't know.

Shut up. You've been on like ESPN 15 times, haven't you? Can you be on game day? What are they waiting on? Yeah. I'm like guys,

the guy who does every, never mind. Yeah. If you guys don't get it by now, I don't know if you will. All right. What's up? Anything else? I think we're Gucci. Dude. Well, no, never mind. We're good.

Say it. No, it's because it'll come out a week. The day we're recording is a day a takeoff got tragically killed. Oh, man, that hurt. Why is that so weird? Good Lord, 28. 28 years old. That's tough, man. That really sucks. And of course, like...

Feel bad for the boys. You know? The videos. Like we know. but I mean, you know, like, damn. The video, like videos and pictures and stuff is already leaked and it's just like, God, that's rough. That's really, really messed up.

Not to end this on a terrible no, but I just felt like, I mean, it literally happened six hours before we recorded this. First thing I saw and woke up. I was like, God damn. I know. It was one of those I did like a triple take. They're so, you know,

Amigos is just so, and they're so current, you know? Like, Culeo died earlier in the year, rest in peace. But, I mean, like, we hadn't really heard much from Culeo for a while, you know. It was like he had his heyday. Yeah. When he had his heyday on Keenan Kel.

Oh, yeah. So, you know, with those, you're kind of like, oh, well, no. But this, what? I mean, it's me guys. They're on game day every other week, you know? Like, what the hell? Yeah. Tough.

All right. These guys. These guys. Give us a subscribe on YouTube, drop every Tuesday video and audio episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, wherever you get your pods. And YouTube, of course, you can watch us, hang out with us, see Ben with his shoes off if you're into that kind of thing. She's no service. And you'll see you next week.

See you next time.