THESE GUYS! - Twin Peaks Coaching Staff

Episode Date: January 27, 2026

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Myr League Baseball team names or things that you and your buddies thought were hilarious on the Urban Dictionary in 2007. Yeah, seriously. Oh my God, I'm going to the Boston Cream Pies game. Not bad for a fat guy. TG 170. TG 170. I am in my living room because it is about negative 22 degrees outside. So the basement is just about a frozen tundra.

God. Oh, jeez. Come on. Oh, God. There's going to be a ghost in the background of that picture any second popping up. Bro, that's my family picture from Christmas. Dude, you're in a haunted house, dog. See, Ben.

That's from the Civil War. That's from the Civil War. Ben's only saying this because he's been to my house, I don't know, six times. and every time it's just straight from the front door to the basement. It doesn't even take in anything that's going on within the walls of the house other than that. Dude, it's just got to escape the dogs. You know, it's a big thing. Got to juke out the dogs.

Go downstairs. Just like it never happened. Man, a good thing you brought up to the, I mean, actually a bad thing you brought to dogs because my blood pressure is going to start to get boiling. What happened? What happened? Dude, I just, you know, we got this blizzard going on. here and really the whole country besides where you are.

And so it's just absolute cabin fever by now. I mean, it's day three. Day one, you're feeling good. Now day three. I'm like, I'm going to cook these dogs. You like it until you have a three-year-old and a two-year-old and then two big old crazy-ass dogs. And then by day three, you start to lose it a little bit.

Start to lose it a little bit. I've been so jealous. point right now. I've been so jealous, man. Oops, trapped inside. Oops, got to learn how to make sourdough bread or something. Oops. I'm like, God, dang, dude.

They're just having many COVID over there, and I'm over here running errands. First day it was like that. First day, it was like that. Wine 4 p.m. Total, total snow day. Championship Sunday, right? You know, it didn't remind you. of Vikings, Falcons, Gary Anderson

looks like a test dummy in a car game, did it? No, because that was indoors. That was at the Vikings. I was at the Metrodome. I know, but it was still like snow day outside. I remember watching that through the, like the glass door behind my house, snow falling. Well, I was having all those feelings.

You know, Ryan had just gone to the, she's just gone to the grocery early in the week. So just absolutely just stacked, you know, just stacked. everything. Frozen frozen foods, full fridge, drinks, snacks. What a ton.

The whole works. Gone in a day. Cookies to make. Pretty much. Getting excited making cookies. There's nothing better than that, dude. Yeah. So the first day was,

it was pretty much like that. And it was if it felt fresh, it felt good. You felt like you could take a play off as a parent. You know, the kids, yeah, do whatever you want. It's a snow day. We're not going anywhere.

It's a little bit different. you know. Yeah. Now. Hey, day three. Right. So like,

thoughts. Nobody's going to school around there? It's closed down on the bottom line on the news, closed. Dude, the closed down the bottom line takes forever now, man. If you're in the,

if you're in the, if you're in the, if you're in the, um, trying to think of the letter. If you're, if you're in the, if you're in the,

if you're in the ems and the ticker and you got to wait until the S's for St. Barnabas. bro that's a long way you're sweating you're sweating out that weight right now it did take eternity i remember that and i was always watching on like the smallest tv too like why couldn't we watch it on a bigger tv i was always watching on like our we had a kitchen tv it was like this big and black and white and five people my whole family man you don't see kitchen TVs too much anymore i feel like i feel like that was a big staple for a long time i couldn't believe we had one i was like

we're kind of we kind of got it like that We got a little black and white joint. Like, it wasn't looking nice. And then, like, the upgraded version, Rich Friends House, they got that TV that pulls down from underneath the, like, cup cabinet and you can swivel it. I was like, okay. All right.

Your dad's a doctor. Don't talk about Danny Allen like that. Hey, hey, hey, you know who I'm really talking about, though? Hey, that was really good guess, man. Damn, I should have just gone with it. Hey, don't talk about the Montefalco's house like that. that. Dog, when I'm

dude, rich kid, they had it all. They weren't like, you know what I mean. But they just had all the fun stuff. I had to sleep over there one time and it was just,

I opened a closet because we were playing hide and seek. The new Nike shocks, Vince Carter, BV4. I was like, you guys have everything. Wait, you were friends with Skylar Montefalco?

Zane is his older brother. Not a local podcast. But Skyler would always be there. What are these fake names we're talking about? Zane Manafano. Okay, Disney Channel. Okay, lacrosse roster. Bro, they were dope.

Wasn't complaining. War my best fit over there. And one shirt. Spill blue icy all over it. Yeah. That's one of those houses that the carpets, a little too clean. What's going on here to clean carpets? Yeah, I was nervous and I was nervous.

such a like a you know like you're you're over at your homie's house and his little brother is just tagging along everywhere I'm like you're so lucky dude you're so lucky you're just hanging out what was always so funny is I didn't have that right but I had plenty of friends pretty much like I for a while there all my friends pretty much all had brothers that were two years older than them oh that's so when I would go over to their house I remember there kind of would be some tension sometimes because I was kind of trying to put on for the older brother, right? You're like, if you can get the older brother to laugh, you're like, I'm fucking funny and cool. Mm-hmm.

You know? Don't try too hard. But then your actual friend would be like, damn, man. He's kind of my friend. You're kind of here for me. Like, you know, and there's just some weird tension.

You know, so every now and then, like the mom would kind of have to say something to the older brother to get the older brother, the part ways. But then you kind of be like, damn, I thought we were all kind of rolling. You know, you were telling us about the chicks in seventh grade. Yeah.

There's a whole thing about that. Dude, you're trying to, trying to be cool around your friend's older brother. His older brother has his friends over. You're getting your ass beat. Oh, yeah. No. You didn't want to go over to Friends House who had the older brother that was two or three years older in them when they had friends over. If it was a combined party where both, both kids, somehow their mom was like, yeah, dad's out of town or whatever.

Just have everybody over. No. I don't want anything to do with that. I'm calling mom. I'm leaving early. I stayed, but like I knew I was going to get into some trouble. I was like, okay, I'm coming over. I kind of hope your older brother is going to be home because we always do fun stuff when he's there.

But I always get hurt. And my homie was like, we're playing 21. And my older brother's having his friends over. And I was like, dude, came home. I think my jaw was fractured. Like it was. For sure. But you need to go through that, dude.

Like you play two on two football and like you got to get your you got to get pushed into a tree or something. You play pool basketball with your friends, older brother and his group of friends. That's where that that's where the real that's where the real toughness and scars and bruising comes from. Everybody says it's like. That's the calluses that makes you tough. Everybody says it's from like, you guys didn't even do play football like we used to play football. are all worried about, no, it's just your friend's older brother. That's how you get, that's how you learn like the rules when you're a kid.

Start seeing like spots in your eyes because you're getting held under by the left guard friend of your friend's older brother in the pool in like June of 2007. You think you're drowning? That's where it comes from. Because Jake Colisex sat on you for two and a half hours and he didn't make a, you didn't make a noise. You're just like, it's just part of the game. This is part of the game.

This is how you grow up. I never, I was just like, all right, dude, fart too then. Fart. I don't. Lay it all on me. Just do anything you can to be accepted, but bro, they could flip on you so quick, man. It's honestly, all my fingers are pulled back in my face. Hey, it honestly was like, it was like performance stand up.

Like, you could, you could have your old, your friend's older brother and his three friends. you could have them going for like two straight minutes, bro, then you say one thing, dead-ass face, man. You're like, oh, okay, well, I got to pivot here real quick. House of cards, bro. One wrong move. Might have to go home. Might have to pull the arm's sick.

I thought, I thought Max Schmock was feeling that bit. And turns out, I went a step too far. now he doesn't look at me at school anymore it's rough man because you never want to be you never want to be the kid that your friend's older brothers hate like yo I said you know

you're like last minute making calls your homies you got everybody there you're trying to play football game or something oh we need like two more people dude invite AJ nah he's a bitch oh I can never be that kid yeah

So then that's where you'd get mad at your friend kind of. You want to get mad at it, but you'd be like, bro, you don't understand that I have to, like, sorry, but like, you're always going to be my friend. Your brother's more important in this situation. Yeah. Like, I've already got you. We're already good. We know what we got here. Right.

But if I'm AJ the bitch kid to your older brothers, that sends me back like five years, dude, because we're about to go to high school with them and then probably college, right? everybody's going to go to the varsity villas and shit. What am I going to do if I'm still a.J. bitch kid going down to IU. You got to prove yourself again? It's too much ground to make up. He's telling dudes from other schools you're a bitch. I'm like, oh my God. I got to go to Perry.

Now I got to go to Perry. You never make, yeah, then you just have to become rivals with them. You just have to double down. Yeah, still, yeah. You're playing against them. Week two. Junior year. Hey, you're still a bitch.

God damn it. Still can't shake him. You know, so why? You went to that school like all those years and then obviously you decided to come here. Like what, what was that about? What happened? Just one of my buddies's older brothers, him and his friends thought was a bitch. So.

Yeah, we were playing pickle one day in the backyard and I didn't slide. Dude, TV. TVs and kitchens, though. I'm so glad. So glad you went back to that. Nobody had a better kitchen setup. Nobody had better TV kitchen setup in my mind ever than my grandma who would always have Sunday dinner and it would always be like she'd be making everything at about 455.5.15, you know, dinner is going to be served at about 545. You can smell it.

And then you look over and she would always have the fox. NFL game the week on. God. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry right now. Damn. Like where was a table?

And was it, you could just, so you weren't watching the game on the kitchen TV. Where are you? Or were you watching on the living room TV from the kitchen? You had Best of both worlds

because in their living room, they had the regular TV that had the game on. Big back. Yep, big back. But the grandma, she loves ball,

you know? And so while she's making all the food and everything in there, it was like they had, She had a window that she could peek out of the kitchen to the big TV. But then there's like an L-shaped in the kitchen and then all the pantries and all the drawers and the sink and everything was on the other side. And in that corner right above like the Lazy Susan was the little kitchen TV. And that's where she was, she had her back to it and she was making the food right there.

She was getting everything set up right there. She could just have some eyes on what was going on with the Packers, Buccaneers. Oh, my God. Warren Sapp and Breff Harb just all smiles in the backfield every time. Like they're best friends, they're best friends. That was like, there's so much ingrained into my childhood and like not wanting to go to school the next day. And my uncle at the time always like giving me a hard time about it because he knew that I was going to try to fake sick. So you'd always be like, stomach starting hurt, you know, and shit like that.

Like, hey, yeah, Uncle Jeff. actually you're kind of blowing my cover here dude don't you shut the fuck up don't you see I got a game plan here already planning the seat I went to the bathroom kind of came back Tommy was hurting I'm not eating all my food don't blow my cover Jeff

yeah there's nothing like it though I don't know we don't have one we have now I feel like a bunch of people just have phone well phone or like an Alexa screen you know like Alexa tablet that's in there at least we do and my in-laws do and everything but i can't even i haven't seen it in a long time

always you got to always regis kitchen like that go ahead sorry always regis and kelly on there in the morning big yeah all day regis and kelly and i'd be watching it too yeah rich rich rich friends house mom's making a killer breakfast you go up there on their huge island regis and Kelly on the corner TV. God, who's not watching it. HGTV somehow on there. I'm like, we got cable on that? We got cable on that? That's next. Right. You come back in for like a midday snack, you know? Like it's one of those where like summertime, you stay overnight and you have breakfast, but then you're just kind of like, I don't know, my parents will pick me up like three, I guess, whatever, who cares?

And you go back in there for a little snack and a Gatorade, HGTV on. Yeah. Ty, Ty Pennington's on there, blowing up a half. house, yeah. And that's where he fell in love. I mentioned it, Ben, that we, like you guys really, I don't know if it's the Blizzard or, you know, everybody just, everybody just starting to get the show. But got a lot of emails, a lot of emails, team these guys at gmail.com. So, when I dive right into those, appreciate it. We'll start with Will, team these guys at gmail.com just says slam ball.

fellas long time second time one of your thoughts on bringing back slam ball the thought of having trampolines on a full basketball court is just too good this has to be the closest thing to NBA jam will ever get what past and present college or NBA players would dominate this game slap my ass with a putter from the academy sports

putting green that I just drained three putts with when my mom was yelling at me to put it down will they actually did bring back slam ball recently. I thought I remember that on some what is it like I don't know

IFC or some shit some random Spike TV probably something like that I can't remember but it was cool that was the original Spike TV was the original

everybody knows where they were when they first saw slam ball I was at a hotel and I was like can't believe it yeah unbelievable when you're a kid

like especially a young like seventh grade dude you're like wow you can that isn't option for me? Oh my gosh, I wanted to so bad. I remember where I was when I first saw it because I was at a house where I was like,

ooh, I don't think he's going to be able to watch that. Like, you know how like slam ball is kind of like, it just seemed a little too aggressive. It seemed a little too much like there'd be South Park promos on during it, you know? Yeah, girls gone wild for sure. the family's not sitting down watching slam ball no that was one of my so the first initial shock was oh my god they can't believe and the second one was

man he's not I might not be able to because he's definitely not going to be able to watch that God it was just too loud it was too aggressive it was too yeah to XFL yes

two Jersey mics yeah it was so sick to watch though. God, the padded rim. Just let me, how come there's a slam ball courts anywhere? Yeah. Well, I can't mean the boys just rent out a slam ball court.

Do they have those at like the trampoline parks? Never been to one somehow. Never been to a trampoline park either. So there are parks that's just made up of trampolines that you can go to that are like in the ground. I see him on TikTok a lot, but I've never seen like been to one. Hmm. Guess we're all seeing them now. Yeah

Yeah Yeah yeah yeah The padded That's right It was like because you were like It's so It looks so dangerous But so safe

Like everything's padded And there's like fences around and shit It's like three on three There's like some real floor in there But people are Zones Yeah there were zones of the trampoline Cool team names

You know what it was You know what did it Is where we all got screwed from it is that we all got super we got so excited when we saw the promos for that that then we decided to create our own slam ball

at sleepovers you know like one friend in the basement would have like one of those tiny trampolines that like the mom would do like aerobics on and shit and so then all of a sudden like right right how come everybody right right right every

every right right right right right right right right right right Right, right, right. Slim ball. Oh. God, I want to hear his take on that so bad. Not for me, but right, right, right. Every house you went to had a mini trampoline.

My grandma had one. We had one. For what? What were we doing? They were just there, like in the corner. I think because majority of moms probably asked for it for Chris. But it was like having a treadmill, you know, or like a stair stepper. You know, it's just like, yeah, collect laundry.

You know, like that's kind of what a trampoline was. Everybody had one because there's always that one Christmas. It was like, your mom has been really into that aerobics with the, right. And so instead of the aerobics, you know, that lasted for six weeks, if that all of a sudden it became slam ball. Mm-hmm. With the little Tykes hoop in the corner. Mm-hmm. Raise that thing all the way up.

Jumping off the trampoline. Yep. The trampoline. And you would kind of try to put some fake ass padding around, you know, like put hoodies and stuff at the base of the wall. Pillows. Pills. Grabbing all the pillows off your mom's bed.

17 of them. I'll just because you can't wait to just absolutely send one of your homies through the fucking wall. Oh yeah. Somebody ended up with a bloody head. For sure. Yeah. He had to get staples.

But we played. we'll probably do it again. He had to get seven staples in his head. Well, let's see, once it died at one house, then yeah, that house is off limit, so then you go to the next room.

Dude, I'll bring my hoop over if you don't have one. Oh, you have one? Hell yeah. I'll bring mine over anyway so we can make it full court. Throwing people into the brick wall

by the stairs. Rapping them around basement poles. Dude, slam ball didn't die because of lack of marketing or viewership, it died because everybody's getting concussed from ages 8 to 13 when that came out. Like, we got to stop. Why do you breathe like that?

Slam ball. 2004, slam ball. Head took one too many shots to the white brick in Danny Cox's basement. Can't remember my phone number. Will wants to know with that, what past and present college or NBA players would dominate this game. Nate Robinson.

Jesus Christ. Can you imagine stopping that? He can do it in real life. Him on a trampoline? I think the smaller compact dudes are better at slam ball for some reason. See, it's got to be smaller compact. They're just like one of those,

just one of those freak athletes that are just super lengthy. They're not like, you wouldn't consider him like big men tall but they're just super like who's that dude who went to lSU who was like the fourth overall pick by the bulls he was on the final four team with like uh big baby davis his first and last name started with a tea i'm pretty sure oh dang tyrod ls u basketball 2006 but he was like the next coming fourth overall pick, like a lottery pick, guy could just do

it all. So I'm like, Tyrus Thomas, bro. Swing man. Tyrus Thomas Final Fork in Indian numbers. Slashing. Slashing. Yeah. Yeah, he's one of those dudes that's like he's 6'9, but he plays like he's 6'3.

Mm-hmm. Those guys are so, yeah. I think Tyrus Thomas, Nate Robertson, another one like that. Who's it? Was it there's another dude exactly like this from Arizona? With, like, T.J. McConnell, he was also a lottery pick that, like, didn't really pan out. All of them are the same.

I wish I knew basketball players from that era. I only know basketball players from 2002. Hold on. I'm looking at a right. Derek Williams, bro. There's so many Derek Williams. How would I ever know? 54 Eric Williams.

Derek Williams. who's Tyrus Thomas, same guy. Oh my God. Jonathan Bender, that's what I was going to say. But actually, yeah, him too. Blake Griffin. That's insane. He came to play.

Like, he was made for slam ball. I don't know. He jumped too high, like, would throw it off. Like, how does that work? When you can jump that high in real life, I don't know if trampolines are helping at that point. But the rims were higher. That was part of it.

Were there? I think they're 10. I think they were higher. I remember they had all these different dimensions and obviously the trampolines and then the rims were a little bit higher. I think they were like 12 or 13 feet or something. There we go.

Here we go. Oh, no. It says 10. Damn. Well, I guess I made that up. But it seems like it should be 12. Yeah, I was going to say, you guys would have believed it if been when it looked it up.

Those are mine. Nate Robinson's good. Let's go to Matthew. Politics Clubhouse. Should be interesting. I know so much about this. Hit me. This is the only time that we can actually say not a politics podcast.

It is weird. We're being for real. Okay. Dear Benny and Joey, my overly political co-worker shared a meme with me a couple of years ago after the 2020 presidential election said, quote, this year the real Super Bowl is between the Patriots and the Steelers. S-T-E-A-L-E-R-S. Obviously, it was a joke about how he believed the election was stolen.

Instead of saying something about politics, my first reaction was to say, that's impossible. They're both in the AFC. He went about his business when he realized I was more concerned with the NFL playoff format than politics, as any clubhouse member is. But this made me wonder, do political junkies have their own version of the clubhouse? Do they sit around and reminisce about neckties John F. Kennedy used to wear like Benny talks about a Danny Tomlinson's visor? Do they debate which party is

NFC and AFC? Obviously Democrats are NFC, Republicans or AFC? I think it's just because of the colors. Smack my ass with a pair of John Wall rezigs that I strongly considered buying, but never did. Love, Matthew, sent for my Sega Dreamcast. Oh, excuse me. perfect boy whoa oh yeah that's some euros for dinner it's coming back up

um well that's a perfect that's a perfect response there Matthew perfect response to trying to get politics mixed in just immediately turn back some clubhouse what are we talking about here you know

that that was a perfect thing to do um politics guys at work yo bro do you see C-Spe last night? C-SPAN top 10 before I got to work was so crazy.

There probably are people like that, man. Does C-SPAN have a top 10? C-SPAN not top 10. Oh my God. Get up on C-SPAN. I don't know what they do or where they do it or what they call themselves, but there's definitely people who

look at politics that way. Do you ever go to school with somebody? Like when they, maybe like, this happened to me like a lot like freshman or sophomore year of high school. Or not high school, college. Where you be,

everything is so like foreign and new. Like what the hell is going on? I don't know. Any of these people, where am I? What is this about? I had multiple times where there would be somebody who like dressed up super nice every day and they made it abundantly clear like first day class

that they like wanted to be United States senator. like the president or something. It was like, damn good for you, I guess. Imagine thinking that when you're like 18. Like, part of me kind of was like, damn,

I guess I should dress up a little bit more, not wear these steelers sweats. I thought that too. I thought that every day in college. I was like, should I be wearing like picture day clothes? You guys are wearing picture day clothes every day? This is crazy to me.

jeans to class in college in like a two buttoned down thermal. I'm like, why are you looking all hot every day? Yeah. Just wear like normal stuff. This is crazy. And then I was like oh, maybe people just dress like that all the time. Yeah. People do.

One of my buddies who went to college with got my ass on it. Like, I remember I kind of confronted him with the same shit because he always wore jeans. I never saw him in just like loungewear going to class. Steeler sweats. Oh, dude, for sure. You would have thought I worked for the team.

In college, like, that's all I wore. Steelers sweats, Steelers hoodie. Next day, black sweats, Steelers' quarters, zip. Is he play for them? Steelers Beanie. You know, like. See a scout.

I wanted to be so bad, God. Who's the receiver that went to Ball State, number three? Play for the... Like Sneed. Is he scouting Willie Sneed right now? But, yeah, I don't remember exactly what he said, but he was just like, yeah, I mean, just feel like it's all about how you present yourself and I feel like jeans at least comes off better than sweats. I was like, oh, he was a little mad. He was a little mad.

And I wasn't, I wasn't trying to be snarky or like make a point on him. I was just genuinely curious. I was just like, it was one of these like snowy-ass. days. You just want to be warm and comfortable and everything. Bro still showing up in a quarter zip and jeans. Damn. Wet jeans are on the bottom. No wonder he was mad.

We're in jeans on a cold day. Hey, it makes you colder. You put on jeans, everything gets colder. That's so true. They don't fucking do anything. Never been warm in jeans.

Never, man. Dude, if you are in just your house and you put on jeans, you're like, I need to put a hoodie on too. It's a little chilly in here all of a sudden. What is that chemistry? No one hates jeans more than you.

Oh, dude. I have a whole. It's been that way the entire, like, as long as I've known you, I swear. And if people are wearing jeans, I'm like, I know you don't want to wear those. I know you don't. I know you're mad right now and half the reasons because you're wearing jeans. Just cardboard boxes on your legs. When people are wearing jeans around me and we're not outside, I'm like,

here's shorts. I'll buy you shorts. Please. God, you're making me anxious. So what'd you do? Like back in the day, not a local reminiscent podcast, but what'd you do when it was like Blue Friday and you could wear your blue jeans and a Colts shirt? I hated when they said that.

Blue jeans. I'm like, would you just, would you just still wear khakis? No, I probably wore jeans, but I was like, I'd rather just wear school clothes kind of. Because, like, I wasn't feeling like I was looking cool. And everybody's wearing them. So I'm like, what? Teacher jeans. I'm like, geez, man.

Nobody, nobody wanted to wear jeans more than teachers. Oh, my God. Oh, they couldn't wait. Jeans aren't pretty. Jeans aren't pretty. Okay, Mrs. Phillips. Let's relax. Let's relax.

People who. sleeping jeans I mean we've all been there you don't do it on purpose but it's all been there sometimes I just gotta do what you do you gotta do that's one instance where it's like if you're sleeping in jeans

it better be one of those situations where all of a sudden it's 4 a.m. you didn't even realize it you look around everywhere there's nowhere else to sleep you just like cuddle up in a makeshift bed on the ground with a pillow as your blanket and you're like I just I got to sleep for like four hours here

oh gotta keep the jeans on I think if you if you find yourself sleeping in jeans You don't know how you got there You know what I mean? Like you just you don't go to sleep in jeans You just wake up in jeans You're like oh shit Yeah correct

Okay From Robert QB1 Says hey boys I think the clubhouse is in good hands Of the future quarterback Caleb Williams Drake May

Jackson Dart are gonna entertain for years to come Slap my ass with my aunt Tina's crusty old wig Vince Queens Queens Boulevard I am Queens Boulevard Volovard Stroke meter

Boulevard Just said Volovard Can't open his mouth Sounds good though Could have got me on that Could have slid by the stroke meter Do you know who any of those guys are?

Yeah Yeah Yeah yeah yeah I would just like to make sure Yeah, I mean, Drake May, time Big Ben for youngest to go to the Super Bowl. Jackson Darts pretty wild. Cool, cool clothes. Cool Instagram.

Yeah, swag lord. Caleb Williams is friends with Pekker Armstrong, so cool by me. It's just too bad. The class above them just isn't working out. Herbert. Oh. Burrow, kind of. There's like two more.

Josh Allen. Hurts. Hurts. Hurts. Hurts has been all right. I mean, it's worked out for him. Now, they're all cool. Who would you rather have if you started a franchise

class of 2020 quarterback or class of 2024 quarterback? We'll be back. Just back. Just all back. We'll be back. Go to back. Just go back. Running back.

We'll be back. My ass. Thanks, Robert. From Blake, has baseball lost its aura? Gentlemen, first time, long time. Before I begin, I'd like to shout out one of local car guys' goats in Dallas. His name is Clay Cooley, and his tagline is, Shop me first, shop me last.

Either way, come see Clay. God. That's in your head every morning, for sure. And you can just hear this guy's voice, too, at least in my head, this is what? Clay Cooley. Clay Cooley, shot me first, shot me last. Either way, come see Clay. Gotta see a pick of Clay.

You might have attached. She's got some attachments on here. Not sports podcasts, but while recently looking at vintage sports apparel online, it came across a vintage MLB All-Star game shirt, and it got me thinking, has baseball lost its aura as time has gone on. I can look at every person on the shirt and tell you who it is. If you made one of the same shirts this past year's All-Star game, I can maybe tell you a handful. The players are more accessible than ever now,

via social media. Yet every summer when I see the game, I ask myself constantly, who's that guy? Well, I admit I was more locked into baseball as a kid, but do you guys feel this way at all? I feel the NBA has this problem to a smaller extent as well. Speckmask with a Dennis Rodman, Mavs jersey,

while I'd take one last look at the same. send button before sending this a la John Tapper at the end of every bar rescue episode. BP knows what I'm talking about. Sit for my Samsung blackjack, ready to take a snap under Center in Dallas, Blake. What did he? Man, what an email.

I love to go to Dallas. Dallas is cool, but see what kind of clubhouse we'd have down there. He has an attachment on here. Yeah, I'm trying to see this is from 95. So we got a Dodgers Piazza. We got a God.

Giants, Barry Bonds. We got a Cow Ripkin. We got a Rangers Pudge Rodriguez. Braves, Fred McGriff. Cleveland, Sandy Almar. Reds, Barry Larkin. Taking that, it's got to be

Ken Griffey Jr. in the back there. Big Hurd and the White Sox, Wade Boggs and the Yankees. Yeah, I mean, so we're over the same generation it sounds like whatever that is is hard is that a shirt God

yeah I mean it's just I think it kind of all goes back to like how you know for a while there we went with all just the most like risk averse corporate friendly logos for everything whether it be for teams leagues

all star games Super Bowls and you know they have like a slight little tweak to it to give it some sort of differentiator. But none of that shit was happening back then, man. Everything was just like, be loud, be big, be your own, be colorful. So I think that definitely plays a factor. But then I also think that it comes down to as well, like, I think it almost in a way,

it kind of hurts to have that accessibility because then everybody has their own niches that they just want to follow. So there's not one collective that everybody's just like, oh, shit, it's Ken Griffey Jr. Oh shit, it's Michael Jordan or, you know, oh, man, we got to watch the All-Star game at this time because it's the only time, like, now there's just so many options for so many different things of everything you want to cater exactly to what it is that you want to watch or who you want to watch and who you want to follow. Why are you a fan of them? Why are not a fan of them? That there's no such thing is just that like one collective where everybody's just like, oh, yeah, we fucking know them.

Oh, man, we got to watch. you know what I'm saying Kind of I don't I was trying to put it together What I'm saying is that like Nobody you know Instead of just like

Oh my God The Major League Baseball All Star game Or like even the home run derby It's like well I like this guy From the home run derby So I follow him I don't really care Or know any of these other people

Even though they have I have the access to follow them But like I just want to follow this direct path of this person that I like and I'll see the you know what I mean like when we were kids there was those things that it's kind of like it kind of goes back to like why people are always talking about how there's no big TV shows huge TV hits on like cable anymore there's not any you know the the blockbuster is dying or like the movie star is dying it's like yeah because used to it has to be like man I got to watch the office on Thursday night at 9 o'clock on

NBC and that's my only time to watch the office. Not that exists anymore. Yeah, not that exists anymore. It's the same with athletes, the same with leagues, the same with anything. So it's like the accessibility has almost in a way.

Ruin it. Yeah. That happened in football though. I don't feel like it's like that for the NFL. It is a little bit, but like, that's kind of the. Maybe it's because they all play on one day.

Yeah, that's why. there's 17 games and they all you you just know i mean they own a day of the week everybody knows that sunday at 1 p.m. It is crazy that they have i mean i've i just can't believe that they still have so many games in baseball and like um i mean is that crazy i know you know you know more about baseball than me but i'm like just looking at that from like not being a baseball guy i'm like why and like people are getting hurt and they got to take days off.

I'm like, bro, it's because you just played the twins 14 times in the last 15 days. I don't know, man. I know, I know everybody's got their own reasons,

but I'm like, I don't know, cut the game. I'm not trying to fix baseball right now, but you know what I'm saying. I'm like, who's keeping track of the angels the whole year?

Who, like, I don't know. Like maybe your grandpa did at one point. Remember your, dude, my grandpa would always be like following the tigers and stuff. And I'm like, I think that's just a grandpa thing. Like, nobody's following their baseball squad. Like, are you following the Cubs like that? Like every night?

Yeah, never mind. I'm just going to fuck off. I mean, yeah. All right. Not a sports podcast. We don't get it. Thanks, Blake. Yeah, they should bring steroids back, though.

What? This is from the Dustin. The guards locker room seems. from 2005's longest yard. What up, fellas? First time, a long time. Similar to how the longest yard cast a bunch of celebrities to play football players on a team full of prisoners,

I want you guys to come up with a 2026 version of the guards versus the mean machine. Oh, man. Okay, I'll start. I'll start. 2026 version has Jason Williams and Randy Moss playing basketball when Paul Crew, played by Glenn Powell, has to come to recruit them.

Fill out the roster fellas. Alan Richardson as the lead guard slash bad guy. Love the shop. P.S. Michael Vick Eagles, Monday Night Football 2010, Bobb is Sean Jackson. What a throw. I see that every night, by the way. On my TikTok, I see that every night.

And every time still I'm like, is he going to catch that? Right. You're like, is that ball ever going to come down? It's still going. What a release. Not Sports Podcast. Hey, a play action, first play. roll out throw it as far as you can man

you got it was that his first play it was the first play that they had was like his his welcome back pretty much went off went off so big uh okay man celebrities to play football players

I'm a team full of prisoners so Jason Williams and Randy Moss all right so who's the lineup for the prisoners in a 2026 version of Longest Yard. Wow. It's a lot of people.

Gilbert Arena's receiver. I think he wants a basketball team. Yeah. Oh, it was a basketball team? I'll start 2026 version as Jason Williams or anyway. Meta World Peace. For some. People that are bad.

Let's see. Well, I don't think it's people that are bad. I think it's just like. Don't anybody clip this shit. It's a question. I think it's just like people that you could see being good characters that would make sense. Just like Terry Cruz and Nelly and that wrestler, I don't fucking know his name. Who's the guy who just had X on his jersey?

Stone Cold? Was it Stone Cold? I don't know, dude. I don't know anything about wrestling. All the listeners hate us now. I know. Chris Anderson, Heard, Birdman.

Come on. Yeah. Thinking like Jake Paul, probably. Ooh. We can pick anybody. Yeah, it's like I said, because in the movie,

it's that wrestler. It's Nellie's the running back, Terry Cruz, Michael Irvin. They had a comic, the big dude, Joey Joey Diaz

Who's like a big comic right now That could pass off as like a basketball player or guy on a squad Shane Gillis power forward Yeah Cam Patterson point guard Hmm Who's the coach who's the who's the who's the who's the who's the

Who's the who's the coach like Bert Reynolds was. Sharon Moore, Michigan. I'm playing for that team. Great art. That's not bad. That's not bad. I think you got a nice little mix there. Gilbert, MetaWorld Peace, Birdman,

Cam Patterson, Shane Gillis. Urban Meyer assistant coach. You just got to, hey, still in his 50s. The responses that I got on these guys, well, but like you see this across the clubhouse. What are you doing with Urban? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, talking to him.

I was like, guys, it's not that serious. People were like, cover my drink. I was like, I don't think he ever did that. And also, he's like not into your clientele. So I don't know what you're worried about. Go ahead, Urban. Do whatever you want. Let's watch some film.

Good question, Dustin. Thanks for the email. from Colin. Stacey now about to Rocket City Trash Pandas? So, fellas, long time listener, first time email, I always look forward to Tuesdays laugh my ass off. Thanks, bro.

You guys were discussing some seam talk, baseball. It took me back to a time where my family would hit up the Potomac Canons games. Potomac? Potomac. I'm an idiot. Pontiac. They were a Singulate affiliate of the Washington Nationals

and had maybe the craziest mascot I've ever seen. I was always terrified of it when I would go to games. I was about five to six years old at the time. I'm a 98 baby, best year ever. And I was wondering, what are some of your favorite minor league baseball names and mascots? A couple of mine are the biscuits, trash pandas, and the rubber ducks.

God. Oh, the show. Keep pounding, not a Panthers fan. And keep making people laugh. Slat my ass with a red, white, and blue 90s, Yoming jersey. Collin. Dude. Sent from my Motorola I-700 Nextel.

and he attached a picture of, I believe, the trash panda. No? Or a cannon? I don't know. So cool that every minor league team is like, yeah, let's just do whatever for the logo. Make it as goofy as you can. I'm like, all right, yeah. So cool that minor league baseball is like, yeah, let's just do whatever we can to get people in the stadium at all costs.

That too, that too. I'm like, why would you ever go? Oh, it's bring your dog to the game. All right, let's go. Bring your dog to the game with $1.50 beers and $2 hot dogs. And ludicrous is going to be there. Dude, they'll do it. They'll do it all, man.

We're reenacting the crucifixion of Jesus after the eighth inning. Okay, I'm there. Let's go. Wouldn't it be surprised at all, man? Right around Easter time? Like, we got to go. We can't miss it. Who's playing Jesus?

Doing Stations of the Cross are on the bases. Stations of the Cross now about this? That would be so funny. Come to the Indianapolis Indians game. Stations of the Cross. I swear. It's the best. There's no other,

there's no other leagues like the entirety of minor league baseball. Because you have so many teams and so many different levels all the way from, you know, rookie or A ball, all the way up to AAA and the consistent, the consistency throughout is the wild team names and logos and the just absolute disregard for caring about whatever you got to do to get people in the door. I always get really excited when I, when I like,

am in like a town, I didn't think I'd be in and I see a minor league baseball stadium. I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh, you know what I mean? You're like looking at the one, 10 caps, dude. Yeah, the stadium is always just like kind of cool. You know, it's like... They're always cool.

Every minor league team stadium, I'm like, that is... God, dang. That is, it's just perfect. It looks like the perfect stadium for you and the... For you and the boys to go and play like backyard baseball with a tennis ball and an aluminum bat. You're like, that's the dream stadium. It's like big enough to where you're like, we could maybe fill this,

but you know, it's a huge like Yankee Stadium or whatever. You know? Not too big. Just a little. Just a little bit. Everything looks super legit. You know what I mean? I just want to crush a couple of home runs there and leave.

Cool hat. The lookout. Do you remember that hat? One of my favorite parts about, oh my God. I don't know what. I don't even, maybe I made that up,

but I just remember the hat with the eyes. And I was like, I need that hat. Need that hat. No, I know what you're talking about. The lookout minor league. Baseball

Chattanooga Lookouts, dude Ooh Oh, the eyes are coming out of the sea Just Well, no, one time they had a hat With just eyes on it up here And I was like, that is a hard one

I'm looking at that one now too Yeah, it's awesome It's a whole different lifestyle, you know Like it's just, it literally is A league of its own Um I went in two summers ago when it was like the summer of me throwing out first pitches for some reason.

I, uh, well, I performed up in Green Bay and Seth, a clubhouse member, uh, he basically like runs the show for the Wisconsin timber rattlers. I think they're called.

Sorry, Seth. And so they had me out and I throw the first pitch and then dude, they do this thing like after the fourth inning where you shoot brats. It's called the Brat Zuka. Oh my God. Dude, so the person who throws out the first pitch who's like the guest of the game or whatever, if you want, you go back and they put you in the back of a pickup truck and you're back there with the mascots and you're holding this bazooka and you're literally just shooting brots into the state, into the crowd. They have buns on them?

Yeah, they're like wrapped. They come like wrapped in the aluminum. Yeah. It's not just like the straight up Me, which would be pretty funny. I thought it was just a raw dog brought. People in the crowd. Three people die at the Timber Rattler's game.

I'd be like, we got to go next week. I got to catch a bra in my mouth. Man, yeah, so many, that kind of shit, it's so fun. To your question, minor league baseball names. I'm just going to Google and see what pops up, because I know there's just absolutely insane ones. Yep, so that came up.

Trash Pandas, double A for the Angels. The Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp. Gosh, man. Montgomery biscuits. I just want to see these logos. El Paso Chihuahuas. Bowling Green Hot Rods.

Love that. Yeah, I mean, there's just, they're all insane. saying. Yeah, you want to kill some time and have some fun. Just look up minor league baseball logos on Google images. I'll keep you busy for a while. Iowa Cubs and stuff. I'm like,

you can just take the Cubs like that. Well, they're the AAA affiliate for the Cubs. Mudhands. Iron pies. Bees. Minor League Baseball team names or things that you and your buddies

that were hilarious on Urban Dictionary in 2007. Yeah, seriously. Oh my God, I'm going to the Boston Cream Pies game. I'm going to the Philly Fakeout game tonight. You guys want to go with me? Hey, is that what did every group of friends do that? I would be on Urban Dictionary looking up like fake sex things for hours after school. Yeah.

That's what that's called. You can do that? What else are you doing? What else you're doing when you're 12 years old and you're with two other buddies and you have IMC in the background and get AIM up? I guess we might as well get some material on Urban Dictionary. Come on down to $2 hot dog night at the Birmingham Booty Calls. Rochester rusty trombones played a night. 8 o'clock.

First pitch, 830. See you there. All right. All right, cool. From Isaac. Coors Light commercials. Sh, going on, Fals. The Nike High School commercial talk from last episode reminded me of those old Coors Light football commercials.

This must have been when they first introduced when the mountains turn blue. It's as cold as the Rockies. You know, the ones of Mike Ditka, Brian, Billick, Dennis Green, or Jim Mora. I linked a couple of my favorite ones below. I know it's not a reminiscent podcast, but do you guys remember these?

Isaac from Iowa. Oh, yeah, man. That just opened. up a whole flood of memories. Maybe I don't. I just remember that Coorslight love train. Remember? People all over the world.

Their beer did look so cold, didn't it? When I was a kid, I was like, what's a big deal about cold? Why does it have to be so cold? Because every beer commercial was like, the coldest. I was like, how cold do we need this? There's always like commercials of people like putting beer

on their heads. I'm like, I'm like, what is going on with the cold beer stuff? The mountains turn blue. Then you have beer and you get it. Yeah, true. I've had so much warm beer in my life though that I'm like, I mean, I like the indie 500. I'm just like, yeah, I mean, it's warm.

Warm beer right before you wake up with jeans on. Oh my God. Yeah, I'll take this down real quick. your belt ew Ben you remember these though it's the it's the ones where the guys like they like they would

like course like green screened them in to the coaches press conferences so they'd ask them questions of already preexisting footage from these coaches and they would match up the answers to something that was asked uh huh okay yeah that's so funny

God the way I just want to be one of those guys taking it back into so uh Do you think, what do you think about that? Playoffs? And he's like, Ralph. Yes, yes. Are you going to have Corso? Are you going to have Cors for the playoffs?

Playoffs? Are you kidding me? My coach, I'm sorry. Yeah. Dude, I think that's like, now I think back to it. That's like one of the origin stories for like how I, like, it sparked in my little brain that like I, maybe I want to do that. I was like, that's so sick how they, that's so funny.

That's such a cool idea. It's perfect. I know. I just want to do that. How would it become one of those guys? I'm still trying to figure it out. Seriously. All my life, I'm like, I just want to be that stupid guy asking questions, like in a funny commercial.

And that's it. And I'm good. Calling all beer brands. Johnson and Schmitty. Come on. We can be literally these guys. We could be them. We've been auditioning for five plus years.

Seriously. I think I might have. tagged all the beers in one of the videos too. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But that's what I'm talking about that. We're getting ready to go into Super Bowl week. And we mentioned this a little bit last week, but it's like, that's the shit that was pure.

That's the shit that was so good. Those kind of commercials, when the NFL was the NFL, we didn't have this whole marketing campaign that we got to do for three weeks for one 30-second ad with Matthew McConaughey. And they dropped the date to 8, 26. Okay, now I don't want to watch it at all. I want to be surprised sitting there after, you know,

Sam Darnold throws a bomb to Jackson Smith and Jigbaud and they go to commercial. All of a sudden, I just want to be, I have no idea what's about to come. I plead, we cannot get into commercial fast enough. Just four heaters in a row, too. That first commercial slot, I'm always kind of like, when do they start? Like, when do the bangers start?

Like, are they waiting for people? Is it the second break? or the first? Yeah. Is that right after the national anthem? I'm like, are these them? Are these the ones? See, now they always try to do like a whole bunch of like emotional tug on your heartstring

shit. Yeah, it's like, okay, I guess we got to wait like, you know, three minutes to go in the first half before we get like the first funny one from Budweiser. It was so fun. And then like Bud, all the beer commercials I feel like would have like three. And their third best one would be like late in the game. you'd be like, oh my, that's my favorite one. There'd be always be one with like the big Clydesdales

that would kind of be like a sad one. You'd be like, okay, well, you got to mix that into, I guess. You know, you're giving them benefit of the doubt. It's getting late and getting sad, Clydesdale. Got to make sure everyone's mom's happy. Yeah, otherwise mom gets a tearjerker one. Yeah, okay, we get it. Back to the boobs.

Yeah, just so old, just complaining about Super Bowl commercials. It's kind of all. thought about my whole entire life though. All right. This one's from Ben. Appreciate it. Fellas, been listening to the pod since the beginning. It's a staple of my weekly rotation. As a guy who worked in podcasting and thinks it's an alternate universe, he's a local

sports radio host. Everything you guys talk about hits home. I worked for my school's football team during college. Shout out the Charlotte 49ers. Yes, we're a D1FBS team. Yeah, home to Alex Highsmith. Oh, I know. Oh, I know, Ben.

This is where I've worked with. Ben's good guy. Ben's good people. The job was grueling, especially since we only got paid like $800 a semester that went straight toward tuition. But I love the people I worked with and couldn't go wrong with the free Nike swag.

I still have two pairs of shoes I got from the team like five years ago. Another favorite part of the job was getting to know all the coaching staff and building impressions of them, how they yell players wear hats, sweats, walk around the facilities. You guys are on a field day with some of the guys who were on staff, which leads me to my question. If you guys were D1 coaches at a Nike school, what would your practice travel at Game Day fit be?

Oh my gosh, man. Mine would be a T-shirt shorts and bug it had for practice. Q-Zip and the insanely comfy team issued sweats. You can't wear anything else with other than team gear because they're a weird color for practice. And a polo, dry fit Nike golf pants and a bright white shoes for game day. So I'm going to ask with a 2008-29 Chester-Taylor Vikings jersey. my sister got me for Christmas in elementary school. While Ben takes Joey and I's order at Colvers with him saying,

okay, after each of modification addition to the order. From the top of the hour, the other bin, sent for my Windows phone that I really wanted in middle school, but never got probably Dodger Bolt there. He said that, probably Dodger Bullet there. For real, dude, those Windows phones didn't last for a second. I was kind of like, what they got going on, though? You know?

Like, we all have Windows computers. right it's like the uh it's like the uh it's like the uh when the NBA switched out the they got that new weird ball and then they were like ah we we fucked out we fucked out we're going back to the old ball man i've never seen something switch so fast and like a big entity be like sorry yeah right crazy man Steve Nash was like nah dog i remember he complained he's like bro I never forget you on ESPN there just be like this video of him like on the sidelines bouncing it a couple times, like tossing it up, didn't like the feel of it.

That was it. It was over. Once Steve Nash said no. How do you change a ball, though? Like the one thing that actually matters, the ball. Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate that, Ben.

You email back anytime. Yeah, that's a good question. Okay. So it's Practice travel and game day fit All right Practice for me Easily

Some lightweight comfy shorts Longs Baggy long sleeve tucked in Baggy long sleeve tucked in Play call sheet In my waist For sure Doing the catcher squat

Behind the offense Like behind the huddle They break They get an understanding I'm watching. I'll probably go. Depends on what time of the year it is. Summer, I wanted to get some, catch some rays.

I'm not wearing a hat. You know what I mean? I'll do this. Depending on geographically where the school is, I would go with one of those straw hats in the summer. Big old straw hat in the summer. And then in the middle of the season, I would go with probably just like a lightweight,

a hat that I've had forever that's like super sweat stained you know one of my go-toes and then when it gets to be like if it got to be like super cold and then I'd mix in a beanie but that would be the practice fit for sure mm-hmm super super

comfortable practice fit I don't know if I'm going team issued shoes might try to find something a little something kind of like a something I like a little more don't gotta wear it all the time maybe on game day but like practice like let me let me let me

let me do me a little bit totally and then what was the other one game day? Travel gear oh travel gear probably go you're on a bus a lot

I'd probably go short still maybe the jacket or maybe just go hoodie just trying to be comfortable on the bus long road trip not trying to be all buttoned up and the

Yeah. I'd go like track suit fitted but like basically that Fabletics picture I posted the other day like really comfy soft big sweatpants

that the elastic's really low on so as they're on joggers it's just elastic that goes down like all the way to your ankle so you can kind of hike them just a little bit they give a little bit more of a baggy feel than a matching hoodie

good air of sweatpants right there Yeah, it's not like the new cool material. It's just like sweatpants and a hoodie from like 1990. Yeah. Yep. And then you bring the sweatpants up and they like cuff right below your knee and your ankles up. What's up?

We got sandwiches, pre-made sandwiches for the Red Trip. What's up? Yeah, this is just totally like assistant like barely on the staff, you know? So you can just kind of like fuck around and do whatever. You're not really held to any of these standards. running back running back coach right

and then game day he says dry fit Nike golf pants and bright white shoes man you what kind of pants I don't want to be wearing khakis

you kind of have to you can't do like grays or something coaching staffs all wear the same so whack yeah and the head

Coach would get so mad if he didn't, you know? Yeah. Because the head coach doesn't want to wear that either. But you got to wear khaki pants. I'd wear the polo. Everybody has to wear the same thing, which is actually pretty cool. And the defensive coordinator has to wear like a totally opposite color. So the defense can see him, you know?

You're watching like a Seahawks game and their D coordinator has a red polo on. You're like, ooh, that's kind of tough. Never seen the Seahawks logo on a red polo. I'm always like, that's so sick that he has that. Yeah, it's pretty solid, though. I think we nailed it. Caggy pants, polo, long sleeve shirt under the polo. Whoa.

Matching, matching or not matching? If it's a white polo, I'll probably wear a white longsleeve shirt. What's your least favorite thing coaches wear, like head coaches were on the sideline? Like, what's something you're just like, I hate that he wears that, you know? Because I can say like 75% of the coaches, I'm like, why would you wear that? sometimes it's like a real corny looking like team issued hoodie I'm like you pick that

there's nothing better I like like the logo huge logo like right in the middle I'm like are you a Madden coach dude big jaguar I'm like yeah yeah for a while there

Mike Tomlin would wear like he had bad like khaki pants I hated them they weren't like it was just a weird color khaki and they were so baggy I'm like you come on man

you're not like you you can just do better than that you can do better than that um yeah I dude I you know I tell you what as I hate when coaches I hate when head coaches

try to do the bullshit of like Vince Lombardi and wear like a fucking tie and a sweater Jack Del Rio don't talk about him like that PJ Fleck Oh, yeah.

It's like football is the only sport where I want my head coach to look like absolute shit. Kind of it. It's true. Didn't think of it like that. But yeah, the suits are too much. Like, yo, just come on, man. Like, you're kind of putting on it. You're kind of being a distraction, dog.

Right. You're being a distraction. And it's all like bullshit of trying to be like, we're trying to establish a standard. We're trying to set a new culture. It's like, that's all you're trying to do. it's not working. Yeah. Once you spend less time

going to the dry cleaner and more time in the film room. You know they hate putting on that suit too. Hey, yeah, taking that suit off when you take a fat L. How does that feel? Right.

Get out of here, dog. Yeah, I can't. I just... I did like it when coaches, like, have a thing. Like, I know that's probably like, all right, a while, but like the Bill Belichick hoodie was, I thought that was hard, dude.

And nobody else is doing that. And you wouldn't even expect him to do that. And it's like his thing. And like, people in the crowd are doing it. I'm like, that's kind of tough. Yeah. Well, what other coaches do stuff like that? I remember like Tony Dungey back in the day was super swagged out.

And like, the, he'd rock a vest with the col. I was like, that's him. Jim Tressel would vest it. I'm like, that's his thing. Kind of sick. A lot of guys do. You know, like the visors, you know, like Gruden, big visor.

Spurrier, dude. Spurrier. Big visor. Oh, that's hard, bro. You know. There's a couple. I know there's a couple that clubhouse is just screaming right now. I can't think of them.

Talmud was Black Air Forces. Oh, God. Was he? How did I not know about that? That's so Steelers. Yeah, he'd wear like Black Air Force. horses are like black and gold Jordans. That's tough. The black air force

that's perfect for him. Matt Patricia, is that the dude? Always has the pen and his hat. Big old school yellow two pencil. Colin plays. That's just a requirement of any Patriots coach. You should have to have like a thing. Patricia, huge pencil,

McDaniel's kind of a Pfizer, Belichick's son, crazy nasty hair. Yeah, what a staff. Coach swag. Let's finish with Nick. Nick says, Road to Glory,

AFC, Dynasty, NFC? I love it. Hey guys, first time writing in. I was always a Road to Glory guy when I was ripping NCAA football from the years 07 to 14. I would always get it when it came out in the fall. And by Christmas came around, I was asking for Madden.

so my player could continue on in the pros. It seems these days all the talk is about dynasty when discussing the newest NCAA football games. Is Road to Glory being left in the dust? Thoughts? I'll hang up and listen. Except for my Samsung Flight 1 that I got in seventh grade for my confirmation.

Wow. Got the phone. Confirmation phone? Confirmation. How about this? Did I swear? I swear the clubhouse email. are setting us up because they're putting words like that.

I know it. We've had a, we've had like four on this podcast and I'm like, yeah. Confirmation now about this? During church, Fox slips out. Confirmation.

How about this? No, no, no, on your confirmation day, station out about your confirmation. Like, you're not supposed to be there.

He pops up behind the priest or whatever. When you, like, say you're like, I do is your confirmation. I'm stationed out about confirmation. He reports he to the station It's just getting confirmed It was changing my confirmation name

Station how about that Station now you're changing your confirmation name to Dominic Station out about that Everybody was Dominic or Pierre I was Pierre That's hard Should have picked it Oh man

Road to Glory Did you ever do Road to Glory? No I didn't I, God, I don't know. That was that, that was like the Heisman campaign? That's like when you made a, you had a player that you made and then you go to a school and, right? Yeah, I never did that.

What was the, what was the game mode where you were just like a team and you just, like, I'd play to like 2035 with like Michigan. But like I'd get like, you know, you started getting like recruiting was so fun. Yeah. Go bowl games. That was my shit, man. I miss that. I'm thinking that too. And like, I don't know.

Like, the individual aspect of it to me was always just like, I mean, yeah, this is cool as my guy, but like that makes me not care as much about this, about like the team and shit. I don't know. I just, I did. I had more fun of like, I got my squad that we're going with and we got to win every freaking week, man. Yeah. You're getting five star recruits in the off season.

One time I did make a guy that was like best three. power, speed, and I recruited him. I made him like the best quarterback in the world, and I had him signed to Michigan. I was like, yep, I got it. I locked him down. Don't know where he came from. Yeah.

There we go. Gave him a cool name. Yeah. Yeah, couldn't beat Ohio State without him. I was like, I got, I got to get us. We got to get you soon. We need Gonzalez back there. Number one, QB, 6,7.

I'm like, yeah, where do you come from? Let's go blue. It's just like how Auburn got Cam Newton. Pretty much, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Juko guy. Right, right, right, right, right, right. Cam Newton's such a created player that just entered the, yeah, just right to Auburn. You know they're like Jesus Christ, we got him?

Like, you know, their coaching staff is so geeked. Biggest guy on the planet. QB, he's our QB. Unbelievable. Number two, yeah, visor, half sleeves. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, he's on our team. Half sleeves and TC bands and giant wrist bands that like just looks so cool and comfortable. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. That's our guy. Yep, yeah. Has a cadence you can hear from outer space. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Highlight tape, the first five seconds is him freestyling at his juco. Yeah, he's on our team. God dang, bro. You can't be any cooler in that. Can outrun Pat Peterson

in open field, 50 yards? Yeah. Open field. Stride for stride. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. Never forget that run. We'll take them, I guess.

Jeez. The way that, man, 2010 Cam Newton. Always diving in the end zone all crazy. I was like, God, dang. No mouthpiece, biggest teeth ever. Like, yeah.

Yeah, oh yeah. He's got 36 teeth in his mouth. We'll take him. Yeah. Dude, I can't count that high. Hey, his font on Instagram? Yeah, I guess. We'll take him. Whatever. Has his own font. Yeah, he has, yeah, yeah, yeah, he has his own letters. He doesn't come with the regular letters.

He has his own letters. Like, everything about this guy? Dude. Just no mouthpiece. I cannot believe that. Bro, like, did he didn't have one like, tucked into his face mask, didn't have one in his hand. Didn't need it.

Nothing. Nothing. Never pulling one out and then putting it back in. They do that shot that's zoomed in on the quarterback. Under center. From like the linebacker's POV, you know, like right when they're getting ready to. Just, dude. You can see all the gaps.

No gaps, but you can see the lines. You can see, dude. Unbelievable. I was like, bro, you have the ball in her hands every play you run people over. Your teeth are just perfect? No mouthpiece. So crazy. Okay.

All right. I guess I'm an Auburn fan. I mean, what do you want? What do you want for me? Russell Unis? Oh, no, they were under Armour, weren't they? Oh, they were. I don't know if more people ever rooted harder for a team

than Cam Newton's comeback against Alabama on Black Friday in 2000. I just got the chills. Dude, do you remember that? Not a reminiscent sports podcast, but... No, this is something we can talk about right here. Everybody can really... My mom's like, wait, what are they talking about? Dude, undefeated Auburn against the Alabama team, I think, had like three losses.

You know, it's kind of like a weird... We got out of Alabama year? They're coached by Sabin, you know, it's at Alabama. You know, anything could have... If Auburn's going to slip up, this is the one. And I think Bama got up 24 to nothing. You're like, it was it. Auburn's not going to the title.

Camdunes got not going to win the Heisman. And then comes all the way back. Oh, man. It was at Alabama? Yeah. Dude, Alabama's tape. I mean, they went a lot, but they've had some devastating L's that are just like, what? Like the Johnny Menzell shit.

What? 20, 2010, Auburn, 2012, Johnny Football. 2019 Joe Burrow LSU I make the argument all three of those games won those guys

the Heisman What's going on That's sports podcast Yeah and saving some God No I'm just kidding Okay I just saw Phil Rivers Withrew his name

For the Bill's head coach search Dang I was kind of just like Dude what What is that Or do you Is this like a midlife crisis What's going on?

Well, like, they asked him, right? I know, but still, it's like, so he comes back to play, and then all of a sudden he's, like, going to be a headcoat, like, huh? Just get a motorcycle like everybody else, man. Get a motorcycle and go to Twin Peaks, you know? See you there. War Eagle.

I'll be there in my Cam Noon jersey with a goatee. What's up, Phil? Got two towers over here. he looks like he would spend it some time at Twin Peaks. Old Philly. Oh, man. Pen in your hat at Twin Peaks. Patricia.

Patricia. He's there. God, the things I do to be at Twin Peaks with a whole make your own coaching staff. Who else you want there? Who else you want? If you can pick any coaches to be at Twin Peaks with you, what would you pick? Oh, my God. And this is not the identity.

of this podcast or anything like that. If that's what you're thinking, new listeners. Like, wait, they just literally talk about stuff like this. Oh, man. Me, Lane Kiffin. I mean, Lane Kiffin's got to be there. He might own the place. Urban Meyer, for sure.

It's at the bar already when you walk in. Whoa, hey. I need like a, I need like a big O-line coach or something. Hey, the dude who coach. Kansas in 2008. Wow. Having a heart attack in the corner. Hold up.

I got a revive coach. I'll be back. Charlie Weiss is there for sure. Hey, no, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, Dwight's been staring his phone all day waiting for that text. Twin Peaks later? I think I think Gruden would probably be pretty good.

He would be awesome. Yeah. He wouldn't even care. He would do that like in any restaurant. He would just act like himself totally. I get down with like Sean McVe. You need a little like young blood. Like you need like a balance out.

You like have a guy that's like does seem fit and like put together so you can have the rest be just fat slops. And you know McVeys like if they get if they give him like the wrong salad with something in it that he didn't want, he's sending it back. Like you need that guy. that's like, hey, wait, we need three more water. It's like, I'm not going to be that guy, but like, we need somebody that's on it. Coach-o for sure.

Oh, yeah. Sunburnt in there. Shirt off. So sunburn. Shirt off 17 minutes into the dinner. You're in the back. Twin Peaks have a back room? We're in there.

Board meeting Twin Peaks. Smells so bad in there, dude. If a girl walked in there, she'd feel. faint she'd pass out against a wall Hey topical Local Pacoons Oh yeah He might be number one pick

Number one pick He would he would tear it up Absolutely Tear it up Beat it up Beat it up All right Team of these guys are gmail.com

Send those in What coach you take into Twin Peaks What coach you hit up Twin Peaks with One thing They gotta have a go tee They got to have a go team. No. So more we'll get to next week.

Keep sitting in a men team. These guys are gmail.com. These guys, LOL on YouTube, Instagram. Watch us every week. Follow us for the stories, for the posts, for the clipies. Keep interacting with the show. We appreciate you guys.

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