THESE GUYS! - WEED KID + RAVENS UNIS + DO WE LIKE COWBOY HATS?

Episode Date: April 21, 2026

"I thought taxidermy was when you filed for an extension on your taxes." We map out the pure paranoia of sitting on the weed kid's couch in pitch black January weather while his three giant dogs stare you down. We talk about how cowboy hats are just guy makeup, the evolution of high school hydration stations from dirty PVC pipes to the rich kid igloo coolers, and coaches who wear bike shorts with a dedicated dip pocket. We also debate if the new Ravens and Rams uniforms are dripping or tripping before drafting the most football sounding names of all time.🤝 *JOIN THE CLUBHOUSE DISCORD*TG CLUBHOUSE https://discord.gg/7X63C4HF8y📬 *SUPPORT THE SHOW*Hit us up on the email line: [e-mail]🎧 *Listen to the full pod*https://open.spotify.com/show/0DCF4F4r78p0eXiD3fyh2Lhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/these-guys/id1649757408🍻 *Follow us on Instagram*These Guys! https://www.instagram.com/theseguyslolBenedict Polizzi https://www.instagram.com/benedictpolizziJoey Mulinaro https://www.instagram.com/joeymulinaro🧢 *50% OFF ALL MERCH with code BALD at checkout*https://www.benedictmerch.com00:01:08 - Draft Party00:02:08 - IndianaLand50000:03:37 - TG Discord00:05:00 - Draft Nerves00:08:36 - Ravens Unis00:10:56 - Brian Billick00:14:39 - Rams Unis00:16:45 - Commanders00:17:44 - Cowboy Hats00:23:54 - Mike Piazza00:26:58 - Loft Bedrooms00:31:56 - Fan House00:33:33 - Disney Dads00:36:15 - Tom Coughlin00:38:28 - Bike Shorts00:41:42 - Taxidermy00:45:25 - Water Trough00:50:49 - Nicknames00:55:11 - Weed Kid00:58:51 - Crypto Bro01:03:46 - Big Dogs01:04:51 - Paranoid Time01:11:44 - NFC Months01:13:29 - Fat Stats01:18:42 - Every Coach01:24:27 - Volunteer Guy01:30:56 - Follow TG bby

I just like love a theme. I had to for like a, for one time, I was at the country music awards in Texas and we had to wear cowboy hats, dude. It was so sick. Yeah. You automatically look hotter and taller in cowboy hats. I'm like, this is just guy makeup, dude. Not bad for a fat guy. What up, Clubhouse is Benny Plitzy and Joey Mulanaro.

On this week's T.G, we talk about when you got paranoid at Weed Kids House. Not a reminiscent pod. Our cowboy hats guy makeup. Absolutely. Ravens, Rams, commanders jerseys. Are they dripping or tripping? And the weird volunteer football coach at your high school. Let's start the show.

T. T. T.T. T.T. T.J. T. T.J. T. T.J. T. T.J. T. T.J. T. T. J.A.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T. These guys, TJ Watt, now that it's NFL draft week or anything. It's not. Do do do do do do do do. Oh my God, why they keep making that noise. Hot, hot, hot, hot, pizza hot, hot, hot, at your draft party. Draft.

I'd rather have a bottle. Let's get. Man, man. All right? This guy, 182. That's what they do. Pizza Hut at an NFL draft party on Saturday at high. high noon, 2006.

My dad, every year since 1998, draft party B, text every time. Why don't you ever tell me? I want that text. Draft party B? He'll literally do it next Wednesday. Draft party B? This one's that. Your alter ego.

Your alter ego, party B. Party B. Hey, that's, uh, you might hear some Cardi B, but you, you might hear some Cardi B, but you, you you'll see some party B at the Indiana Land 500 party. That's coming up. Party B. And yes, it is still a part of me.

Here we go. These two. I mean, I just can't take it anymore to these two. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Indiana 500 party. Right. Right. In all seriousness. In all seriousness. We'll see.

C is there Saturday, May 23rd, 2 to 6 p.m. Day party. Hey, start your engines. Kendry Gall day if you don't start in the morning. Come on. Sorry, we're just trying to weed out all the ladies. Trying to get all the ladies. He's off the podcast early.

Let's get them out. Get out of here. No girls allow! It'll be really interesting to see what everybody's Piss stop strategies are. That kind of fumbled over strategies, He's comfortable about a little bit, but that's okay. He recovered.

Before you get there, remember to top off your fluids. Yeah, but enough for all, it would be great. Can you imagine? You just listen to this for the first podcast. Yeah. Oh, my God. Sorry. Sorry, but that's why we got.

Oh, producer Mike. Producer Mike's back there pushing the ones and twos. He gave us some direction, keeping us on track here. And so we got the rundowns. So you got the Indianland 500. party at the cord jumping cord is jumping discord called it discourse one time

whoops old guy called it discourse discourse sold first it's old yeah man it's all good everything's going well you guys having strokes for the first three minutes of the podcast and that's what we do

it's just you know we're so excited for the NFL draft this week that we just can't contain ourselves and just we're We're short-circuiting. This is our week being hunties. It's the NFL draft. We become hunties for the NFL draft that we start. We start short-circuiting a little bit.

I see Mel Kiper on TV. Hi, pay lady. Oh, my God. You can't tell me the hottest girl you've ever seen in your life isn't Mel Kiper during NFL draft week. Dude, right when I see draft coverage on ESPN Monday of the draft, my hand Mm-hmm

Mm-hmm So getting A little shaky little pit sweat You know Oh yeah A little pee a little bit Mm-hmm Yeah

That nervous That nervous feeling in your belly Pit the pit in your belly Mm-hmm The butterfly is going Back sweat Not hungry for a week Because the NFL drafts on

Dude Do you ever Not a reminisce a podcast But Did you ever Have times When like You'd be so excited

but also so nervous at the same time, the combination of those things happening when you'd be in like middle school or early high school that you would start like shaking. Oh, yeah. Dude, my chest vibrating like a PS2 controller. I was like,

my whole body. It would always be, there's a variety of things that it would be. It would be like, yeah, when you'd be doing something you knew you probably shouldn't be doing. maybe there's a little chill in the air

but you're like outside of a house when it's nighttime maybe trying to sneak out something's going down like that and you're literally just like oh yeah hiding behind a bunch of chopped up logs in somebody's backyard because he snuck out of Matt Herbert's house what? Herbie he didn't strike me as that

he didn't strike me as the kind of sneak out guy Herbie goes bananas come on this guy not a fruit podcast not fruit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, I always remember that. I was always like, I was always super embarrassed by that because I was like, damn,

I am a clear giveaway right now. Getting the nervous shakes. Most giveaway guy of all time, me and you. Everybody's like, everybody good? Everybody good. We're ready to do this, right? You got to be, keep it down. It'll be quiet.

We'll be good. And I'm over there. Before games, too. For anything, dude. Yep. Hey, you're ready for the game? Me walking around and circles. Yawning.

God, dang. See, now I still get to see that somewhat because that's just you in the green room before show. Oh, my God. Cut my head off. Actually, I can't believe you've seen me like that because usually before any type of thing like that on stage, I'm just like five miles away walking around.

Yeah. I luckily somehow got to, I kept you in the building. for TG Live in Chicago and I still don't know if I regret it or not but I didn't regret it because it was just me and you there was nobody else I didn't have anybody else to bounce off

there wasn't like an opener like my wife wasn't there like my dad or your dad said nobody else is there so I can't just be here by myself I need you to be here too and you're like fine all right I remember it wasn't that it wasn't that bad

yeah There was a point, though, where, like, the screens, the, the, the YouTube song choice was messing up. The YouTube was, like, shorting out and me and Ben are just in the kitchen as Zanis downstairs. Just look at each other like, I don't know. I don't know what's happening, bro. Yeah, there's, there's some, like, African, like, ad on our YouTube. I was like, oh, my God, dude. Like, what are we?

To donate or something. I was like, dude, not. They think this is like a preview for our show. This is so crazy. Can we get ad free stuff at comedy? I know. I know. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, well. Oh, well. You got some dripping or tripping to start us off here. A little bit here. A little bit. Dripping or tripping, hey. The people are raving about them.

Baltimore. new unis. What do you think? Drippin or tripping? I obviously tripping. But like on a real note, I feel like they're tripping because I don't really know what they did. I can tell you.

Maybe maybe it was just because I was in and out down in Texas and I was kind of seeing them kind of like, I never really just got to fully see and break it down. But off the jump, I was kind of like, same thing you can made a big thing about it yeah so so i don't know a trip for me guy hates the raven so much okay absolutely doesn't even want to talk about it why did i bring it up sorry move on clubhouse emails no no no no i want to hear that i want to know because i genuinely don't i was like i think there's a little tiny accents on there that's different but the whole main thing i'm

kind of like it feels like you guys are just kind of bored and wanted to do something the office season. Yeah. Guy hates the Ravens. They have a new collar. Ravens feathers on the collar. Pretty sick. Pretty sick. Pretty sick. That was a good upgrade for me.

Pants, striping change, kind of Maryland flag on the pants. I don't know. I like the normal stripes with the Big B on the leg. They got rid of that. No more Big B? I don't think there is. I don't know.

I might have missed it. But actually, there's no more, if there's no more Big B, it's a downgrade. But the thing is, I think tripping, because they took away

the gold accents and the drop shadow on the numbers. And those numbers were hard to me. Kyle Buller died for those numbers. Yeah. But, Brian Billick's shaking his head right now. He really is. Brian Billick's so coach, dude.

Brian Billick's never been an assistant coach. Just always. head coach. We need to have a category. I'm sure it'll show up on the discord, but we need to have a category of coaches that all that coached in the NFL, but also would double as the coach slash dad of the jock athlete in a Disney high school movie. He'd be such a dad. That's Brian Bill. Come on. He's like kind of chewing gum a lot. A little bit of Kuiper in him. You see him like the kids going to have a meeting with him and he's sitting behind his big like oak wooden desk

bunch of random trophies in the background yeah dad's like I gotta talk to you about something what is about the gameplay this week because I hope so because we're a little bit behind you know and he's like really like

not wanting to play anymore but Brian Billocks across the table staring at him he doesn't want to play anymore he just wants to like skateboard with his friends yeah no he just he just wants to

it all comes back to Gerbach. Don't say it. Don't say it. We're not talking about Gerbach. What are you talking about? He just wants to follow his girl to go study theater. You fell out of love with the game?

Gerbach? No, I fell in love with the girl I met. So kiss me. Brian Bill, like Disney Dad. So tall. Is Brian Bill look 6.8. I can't tell if he like,

he can't tell me 68 or if his head and forehead. I can't tell him he's 6.3 looking 6.8 and his head makes up the fight, like he's got a massive head, I feel like. Almost a Manning-esque like forehead type with the balding hair. He does a big forehead.

Dude, Brian Billick never wore a polo. It was always just cold and he was wearing a jacket every time he coached. Yeah. One of those, oh no, it was like, he would wear like, windbreaker? Whenever him and Cower went up against each other, every game. It was like they wore dark khakis, the darkest khakis, and then a windbreaker. God, you know, I just.

Maybe a T-neck underneath. I just want to know how much like Bill Cower was talking about Bill. Brian Billick, like at home, you know, like cursing under his breath about Brian Billick. You know? Like, go damn it. Hey, but then they come together in the NFL films videos right in midfield. Yeah. Hey, man.

Let's have a good one out there today. I told my guys. That's what I said. Yeah, they start talking about a bunch of bullshit. No, no, no, no. They're laughing and everything. Then at home, coward just absolutely ripping them up and down. Wait, did they talk about coaches from like 2008?

you know what it is is it's that video that we did of the guy in the office where you're like Oh I'll sneak past you right here And then We're done and we're like God what is it with this guy

Every day with this guy Can't stand this dude Oh Got to sneak past you right here Oh That's just every NFL coach meeting at midfield They get each other so much You have a Ravens

Tripping Officially tripping Cool What else we got You're so happy they're tripping Rams Dripping or tripping Kind of same thing

What do they do Like they chefter Whoever posted the whole thing on The graphics and a new look in L.A. I literally looked around It was like Is that, am I I know.

What's going on here? Is this just like a prank being pulled on me? Yeah, it kind of got me for a second, too. I was like, wait, what did they do? But they made the horn go around like it used to. It was just over the shoulder, but now it kind of, the numbers don't fade from yellow to white on the home unis anymore. They just kind of like made them more Rams instead of like.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. But like, I think these are just, there should be a separate category. It should be like just an upgrade category. You can't brand it as new uniforms. I mean, but the fans are like die for the old RAM stuff, you know?

So like they're hype. Like more than ever. I just feel like if it's, I feel like if it's, I feel like if it's new uniforms and it's got to be like. Seahawks rebrand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That type of.

I feel like. you. Yeah, these are like slight modifications. Right, their modifications, their adjustments, you know, the Texans going from what they'd had for their entire existence to what they have now. That's a new uniform. Yeah, there you go, yeah. The big deal. But Rams making their thing around their arm a little better. Just a mod, babe. Right. And the number, the number of fade. I'll go dripping here just because it's a little bit back to the glass. classic Rams like you said. I always hated the fade in.

I didn't like the different numbers doing that. Just give me the one solid number. I'm good. I know. It's dripping. Commanders. Dripping. Yeah.

Dripping big time. Yeah. As long as they go with the glossy helmets, I bet they probably won't. I don't know how that came out. They didn't. It's the mat. Well,

that was just like somebody was like, what would you rather have Matt or glossy? and they showed like a commander's black helmet that would have been glossed and it looks so much better what are we doing? So much better. It's the only trip in part of that whole commander's rebrand.

The black uni zone hitting. Black's hard. Hey, with the spear. A little spear accent on there. Yeah. Yep, they look good. And the thing that makes them look the best,

Clubhouse knows. There's no name. The numbers are just bang right there. Like there's a couple teams in the NFL that don't have anything right here. And they're doing they're doing a good job about it. If you do have a name on the front of your jersey in the NFL, it is like smaller now. Remember it used to be like the Browns, like Cleveland. But the commanders don't have anything.

It looks good. Crispy. Yeah. We know who you are, Beth. Definitely. Definitely. I got one for you. Coming off the heels of my trip over the weekend.

Wearing cowboy hats in Texas. tripping or tripping Oh wait wait like Hold on Hold on Yeah Yeah come on Take me through

Like take me through that Take me through that Like how many days You're there for how many days Bring the cowboy hat Yeah yeah yeah Like it doesn't have to be however many days It's just say you're

You know You're going out in the town In Austin Texas You're going to some Strip into it And strip I just like like love a theme?

Nah. I had to for like a, for one time I was at the country music awards in Texas and we had to wear cowboy hats, dude. It was so sick. You automatically look hotter and taller in cowboy hats.

I'm like, this is just guy makeup, dude. Dude, I know. And I didn't. I didn't. I didn't wear when I was there for three and a half days and I didn't. And I'm glad that I didn't. But yeah, I mean, like all the popular stores down there are just stores that sell cowboy boots and all the different kinds of cowboy hats, you know? Top smell right there.

Oh. Mel's best smells, boot barn on a 95 degree day. Just walk in there. Comforting, but strong. Feel out of place a little bit. I'm like, this isn't really my like, you know. I don't know what's going. I don't know what size cowboy boots I need or anything.

you're so right though because I tried on a couple like one of the I think it's called Allen's or yeah Allen's and off like Congress down there and I was trying on a bunch of different ones and everything

because I don't want I don't need like the old 10 gallon hat the big tall one with the curly brim I don't need like that yeah right don't need any of that just like an Indiana Jones type you slide that on

like a McConaughey Indiana Jones type yeah hey my hair my hair right now oh dude I just thought was having a good was having a good hair day and it was like

falling back the right way I was kind of like flippies I don't know I just pictured you in my head with the cowboy hat glasses and flippies coming out of the back and I in my head I go

I bet he looked hot Hey I felt I felt good if it wouldn't a big floor If it wouldn't have been $499, it probably would have been walking out of there rocking that at the rest of the tree. Holy shit.

Flip over the cowboy boots, $12.99. And I'm not talking $12.99 and $0.99. Okay, come on. Hey, there's a comment there. This guy. Punctuation now about this? Ventuation.

Now about to cash cowboy, bitch? I did. I sent a picture. to the old wife and I was like, I told my buddy who I was down there with, I was like, it's going to go one or two ways. She's going to say, absolutely not. That's ridiculous. Or she's going to go, it's kind of doing something for me there.

Ooh, wow. What a text back that is. Like, yes without saying yes, that's going to feel so good. Yeah. And it did fall towards the more of the second one. So I felt validated there. But obviously wasn't dropping the cash on it. But hey, I mean, well, I didn't see too many.

fellas out and about wearing that. But every time you did, it was a moment. Yeah, you had to kind of take note and you had to kind of decide like, do I fuck with him or do I not? I'll take it. Yeah. Not bad. What's it?

Ladies, just doing this. Oh, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. Yeah, I'm 6'5. Tightest jeans ever. Oh, man. Just glued to your ass. Uh-huh. Yep. How I have quads now?

All right. Oh, you can see my hamstrings. Mm-hmm. So true about the makeup for guys. I mean, sometimes you got to accessorize a little bit. Sometimes you got to help yourself out. Sleeves rolled up. Cowboy hat, boots, jeans?

Who's not kissing this guy? Cowboy hat, boots, jeans, baseball shirt. Oh, he's... Oh, bro. Hey, a building the hottest guy in the world, us right now. Hey, we're bringing the ladies back.

Come on in, burpy girls. The water's fine. We're talking cowboy boots and asses. Burpy girls, hear me out, hear me out, hear me out, though. Jeans, cowboy boots, baseball shirt, cowboy hat,

Brady Quinn's wearing it. What's up? Ladies, it's a podcast for women. Oh, who's not double taking that? That's almost too much for me even. Bekewing a cowboy hat.

Let's talk. Now we're doing the podcast. Hey, for the older burpee girls, for the older burpee girl generation, all right? Cowboy boots. rolled up white button down jeans cowboy hat

Mike Piazza's wearing it huh you're like you're kind of like wait but you're like kind of the Italian stallion I didn't know you could roll that way too I thought Mike Piazza was handsome already until I saw him in Texas who's that guy he's with

oh my God why is he is that Mike Piazza and Jason Seahorn Dude, in times we've said Jason Seahorn on this podcast And times I've said it That's got to be three weeks in a row I'm pretty sure 79 weeks in a row Try I might need to get a Discord counter

Hey but you know what That's so true That could have kind of worked Is that could have kind of worked Circa in 1998 Seahorn Piazza They're teaming up As you know to the faces of New York sports

But all of a sudden that got like a Western theme, you know. ESPN the magazine. Yeah. Yes, yeah, ESPN the magazine. You remember the station about SI and ESP in the magazine when they would have like the different themed photo shoots, right? It'd be these guys on the cover. Us.

It'd be Mike Piazza and Jason's, Mike Piazza and Jason Seahorn on the cover. And it'd kind of be like a normal one. But they didn't go to that main story about them. There'd be like one where, yeah, they're just like cowboys in a saloon. Like, okay. Is that Mike Piazza on a mechanical bowl? All of a sudden I get scissors out.

Tape it on my door. Why does Jason Seahorn have his shirt off and a lasso in his hand? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, they always do tie it in it in some way. It's like, why these two New York stars are bringing the wild, wild west to the big apple. Who's not reading that? Why Seahorn and Piazza are looking to lasso a title

to the city that never sleeps. I'll be back on the fan. Buy your article, dude. Hey, if somebody wrote that today, God, I'd read the piss out of that. Every word. I'd probably memorize it. I'd memorize it like the,

Nicene Creed every word of that article. God, man. That really does make me. I'm pretty sure not a reminiscent podcast, but when I was in high school, I had a room in my house like junior year, sophomore junior year, the house that we lived in. We had like a loft upstairs. And so my parents gave me the upstairs room. And you just had a staircase leading up to my like lofted room. Lit.

Coolest room of all time. Mm-hmm. Like a full, a full apartment layout. I had a mini couch. I had a TV with cable so I could fire up. I vividly remember, listen to this clubhouse, vividly remember sitting on my mini couch. Mini-Cad?

This guy had a mini couch. Mini Couch watching Jaquiz Rogers tear up USC on Thursday night football on ESPN in like 2009. Fivably remember that. And I don't think life's gotten better for me since that point. Wait,

it was like, that. It was like October of 2009, a little bit of, ooh, chill in the air. Jock-E's Rogers just fucking up,

USC. He had a moment, didn't he? Oh, dude. He was number one, too. I'm like,

was he? Or three? He had a brother. Yeah. Foo. Let's just. Station, how about the Beaver?

Let's just do the church here. Jack Quiz Rogers I'm so jealous He had a loft Dude Yeah you're right He's one

He's number one Oh it was insane But I'm pretty sure All my staircase Leading up To my room Dude All those sick ass

SI posters Or not posters Magazine covers Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Got bam Bam bam had

No Sean Moreno hurtling somebody with the eye bag. That was a good good one. Mm-hmm. Good pig. I remember that.

Probably the cover of ESP and the Sports Illustrated that had Jeff Samarger, Brady Quinn and Thomas Ivakowski on it. The Florida one?

If you lived in the South. Yeah, I think that might have been that might have been up there, actually. It might have been the one I'm thinking about. Tim Tevo?

Yep. Nike pants, all blue. Dude, loft, room. Did you have a door? Yeah. Oh my God. This guy's the king of the world. He goes the king of the world.

Hey, I felt like it. Angled walls? Yep. Oh my God. Yeah, dude. Sick of it. It's amazing. It was, it was like some peak.

Yeah. Literally. Yeah. Some peak high school shit. Hey, do you have AIM in your room and you didn't tell us? No, no, no, no, no. This is past the AIM days. We moved on from the AIM days to like the I-touch days.

Utex and Carsey King, 203 a.m. Hometown names, do you know about it? If you're connecting the dots clubhouse, Joe King and Carsey King not related somehow. Three hometown names referenced. Oh. Yeah, still trying to figure that one out, but Hey, still scared to talk to her.

That's true. Yeah. Yeah, Sports Illustrated magazine covers, man. That just, hey, honey, we don't need an interior designer. Mm-mm. Just go grab a bin of ESP in the magazines. From 2002 to 2009. Hey, if you can even find those.

No, I know. Dude, those on eBay would be like a lot of money. Guy interior designing. Decorative towels, Gatorade towels. Britta, Gatorade cooler. Art on the wall. Vince Young running into the end zone in the Rose Bowl. Angle socks.

Sounds perfect for me. Wait, that's what they talk about on this podcast. Don't get any fucking ideas Hey every trash can is like the team trash cans Yeah throw it away in the kid Where's your kitchen trash can? Is it like under uh yeah it's It's under the sink you open it up just a South Carolina Gamecox trash can

For no reason Take the trash out honey FSU trash can All right one sec Hey this is just the house that is in the college game day commercial that we came up with this is a fan house every trash can dude yes yeah every clubhouse couple listening to this the three of them that exist don't get any ideas okay i really like these guys until this turn this off pool your pool in the backyard's green

green wave green wave two lane two lane pool Why is the water in our pool green, honey? On the first Saturday in football season? They're talking like it was murky. You got like fake lily pads in there and shit. Blown up Gator. Tim Tebow swimming laps. He's been in there for two months.

They're back to building fake worlds. Here we go. That's our new stamp. Do this all day, boy. Not talking Christmas or Halloween. I don't just do that We also build fantasy lands For

guys who are 27 to 38 years old We need to call pool maintenance Shows up, just Percy Harvin Jeff Demps and Percy Harvin They get it done in five seconds They're so fast He asked him a question

They're just like You know, here's our card Best to call our manager, called the manager, Urban Meyer. Dude, Urban, I think Urban Meyer is just always wearing a visor. Hey, Disney Dad, Urban Meyer. Ooh, that's a, that's a good one, man. God's a rough and tough dad.

Set you straight. Buckle down. I think, yeah, I think this current version of Urban Meyer, Ohio State version of Urban Meyer. Florida Urban Meyer was a little too like. you're probably banging a few moms you know Isle state probably was doing the same thing looked a little bit more just like Disney Dad

A little more buttoned up For the bucks All right so Disney Disney football dads coaches Brian Billick Urban Meyer It's just every coach I don't know I disagree Jim Harbaugh

This is a certain. No, he's too weird. Too weird, yeah. Jim Harbaugh. Jim Harbaugh would be the football coach on like a parody movie, like a not another teen movie or something. He's like super weird. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Like over the top weird. You know, that would be Harbaal. That's his role. John Harbaugh, though? Mm-hmm. How tall is John Harbaugh? We stopped looking up heights of people, didn't we?

I did. I'm going to go, I'm going to go six foot on the, on the nose. Whoa, bro. Oh my God. This got me bad. I was thinking like 510, 6.3. No. I swear to God. No. Because Jim Harbaugh is like 6, 4, 6.5 and he kind of towers over him. Wait, no, they're both, it's, why is this saying they're both 6'3 then? Oh, man, I just don't buy that. How's it going to be wrong? All right, all right.

Because if you look up a picture of John and Jim Harbaugh's standing next to each other, Jim Harbaal's not 6-7. He's like 6-5. 6-4. All right, one more, one more, and we'll move on to Clubhouse emails. All right. Guess how tall Tom Coughlin is. Oh, Tom Coughlin.

Tom Lenn. Tom Coughlin's 5.9 and a half. Six, two. What? No fucking way. I swear to go. I thought the same thing. Him like on the sidelines for the Giants, cold, red face, Coughlin?

You think when he walked in like player meetings? That's like, you know, people, you know, like, Wolf of Wall Street, people are like, like for their leaders and shit that's what they just did for him everybody started coughing so like barking or doing that started coughing 6-2

no way that's a touchdown that guy's Tom Coughlin man that guy's a gremlin 6-2 wow hey played at Syracuse

teammate of Larry Zonka all right so now all the women are gone let's go to the email Hey, said Larry Zonka Lost all the women That's all you need to do Oh Hey, Mel's best available

Football-sounding names Sarai Zonka Damn Hey, hey, give me another one Give me another one Um Hey, hey Hey, hey

Sorry Never mind I was gonna say Kenny Stabler But that sounds like a country singer Yeah Larry Zonka Bill Romanowski Rich Cannon

Just keeps naming names dude Just keeps going Mark Bolter Come on Broncoe Nogerski All right

Let's get to Let's get to some emails Here we spend some more time On the emails To these guys at gmail.com Appreciate the patience. It's good to our friend, Eric.

Eric from Saratoga, you go right ahead. Eric says bike shorts. Hey boys, I love to long time listener to the question that I'm wrestling with. People always wonder, what would they invent and think you all back in time? My answer is to go back to 1983 and invent bike football shorts with a snap pocket

dip holder in the front so coaches in the booth don't have to stand up and take the tin out of their back pocket. And it's a more comfortable sit. Or it can be Velcro. I would add a bulge and make every size extra small. Who's not buying that, Ben? Not any coach I ever played for.

Love you, boys. Eric from Saratoga. There's a picture attached in there as well. Yeah, it's definitely a moment in time that look. The coach's biker shorts. I got to see what's going on here. With the polo shirts tucked into them. Coach is tucking in polos, dude.

It's a whole move. Yeah, especially with these kind of shorts God dang it, I wish I could hold on, hold on Guy forgot to pull up the email Like he hasn't done this podcast every day of his life All right Yeah, it's just think Jimmy Johnson at the U Essentially it's what it is

Oh my God These shorts Uh huh Uh huh Uh huh Yeah Dang Dip holder

Why were they like cut off football pants? And big coaches were wearing those too? The confidence. Big boys, yeah. No shame. That's actually amazing. I can't even, I didn't even know this happened,

honestly. I didn't know that everybody was wearing those. Bike. Bike kind of a slept on brand. That's a brand? B-I-K-E, yeah. Oh my God. So like girls biker shorts,

That's what it's not because they bike in them. It's an actual brand. It's a brand, yeah, but I mean, what do they specialize in bike? Hey, I wonder if it's bikes. Bikes, yeah, we specialize in shorts. Dumbest guy ever. But they kind of do.

Okay, it's definitely bike. All right. Okay. We'll cut that part of that podcast. But, yeah, bike was, I remember I had some bike football pants one year. And I was like, he's not bad. What's bike doing making these, though? Strong, strong look, power look.

You go to coach's office and he's got some bike shorts on. You're like, all right, you're not really making a whole lot of, you're making straight eye contact or not really looking anywhere else because he's got the power bulge. Active coach, too. Like, he's not sitting back watching calling shots. He's demonstrating stuff. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. All that. about shaking going on. Hey, Coach is sitting in the office. Spread like this. Hey, why don't you come in?

Sit down. Hey, why don't you come in? Yeah, no shit. Hey, laser. His hand always like this.

Running back. Is he doing like that or is he, you know what I mean? Like that? Like a cop. A cop has a gun in a flash on it. Just every coach. kind of a cool.

I was like, I was kind of dig when a cop has, you know, like in the movies. I think it's so sick. See how clubhouse like eats now? Hey,

let me ask you something. What? What do you think taxidermy is? Man, I've, I've been down this road. But when I figured out taxidermy was like deer's heads

on walls. Oh my God. Why would you name it that? Yeah, there's taxidermy in our apartment. I'm like, you file for an extension or... It's exactly what I... We were at this... That's called taxidermy?

Dude, we had this little music venue in Austin. And they had some taxidermy on the wall. And my buddy's wife, who was there with us, she said that and I was like that that's what it's called that's what that is she's like yeah it's like

man I thought I was getting ready to file like look up a taxidermist right I thought that was taxis government's name taxidermy the full thing yeah we call them tax are short

get your taxes done what's that stand for taxidermy makes perfect sense to me No, that's a deer's head on the wall. Right. Learn something new every day. I knew that. Right, right.

And that's what we try to do here. Be informative. Learn something new every single day. All right. Let's go to Mason. Hydration station now about this. They got two assholes talking about taxidermy. They don't know.

And they really don't know that that's what the taxidermy does. Okay. I got a private school education, my ass. See, this is the problem with these two assholes and today's generation of education. They're talking about joking. Joking about taxidermy. Okay. All right.

Let's back. Fuck. It's going to kill me. I hope. How do you die? Go to fake breaks. Go to fake breaks. Make way too much sense.

PG fake breaks. Way too much sense. Hydration station you know about this? Hey, fellas, after hearing you guys talk about hammering the Gatorade jug straight from the nozzle, no cup. It got me thinking about our setup back in high school. Our water trough was basically a six-foot PVC pipe with holes drilled in it.

sitting on saw horses and hooked up to a garden hose. Just random streams of water shooting up like a janky splash pad. Did you guys have anything like that or any minimal set-ups for your playing days? Also, going to weigh games and seeing what the other team had was always a thing. You can kind of judge a program real quick based on what their hydration sled dummy setup look like. Keep up the great work, guys, Mason. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Brother, you play CYO. football and your youth and you've definitely come across one of those makeshift water setups. Oh yeah. Stop! Just can't

fucking hate me. Can't believe it works, man. Did Mr. Adams make those for every CYO football team of the nation or what? That's it. Everybody. Third and fourth grade,

fifth, fifth and sixth grade, cadet take a sip just literally like cattle just human cattle just just waiting bumping each other getting in getting in there I get some

I was dying every time dying but that's the thing that's the beauty of it couldn't wait to get to that thing get a journey hustle back yeah yeah

I mean we had something like that I just remember not a high school football podcast, but where we went, it was similar to that. It was like, you know, you'd have it's two legs and one bar and it had a whole bunch of different.

It was almost like they were individual hoses that were all rings. They were like the yellow like ring. Oh, that's like next level. You had, what grade? I think about the time of my senior year, we had one of those.

Oh yeah, I was thinking like early football No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, I was like, damn. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We maybe, dude, in grade school, we maybe had one of those rusty-ass irons that would shoot out water, maybe. Different one every year, dude.

Yeah. Somebody stole it, broke it. You were just honestly hoping to bum off rich kid with his igloo. That water, though? That was insane. I honestly thought for a second When I was that age

That that kind of water that came out of those kind of jugs Was like the was like the water boy water Yeah like the special water that he was Yeah I was like damn I think that's that's got to be it Do you see those commercials that would like come on During NFL Sunday It'd be like those pure water filters

That you hook to your kitchen sink and you like And like the filtered water comes out of your sink That's what I was like they must have one of those. That's what they fill that up with. Because you take a hit of Rich Kids water in this igloo cooler. Mm-hmm. You're like, that's what you're sipping on during practice?

I know. Is that Sprite? I don't know what the ice. Something about their ice too. I don't know. Maybe if his mom put in a little bit of, you know, a little bit of powder, like no sugar powder, but give a little bit extra flavor or something. There was just something literally different in the water.

Something was going on that was like, I'm not drinking that. Bunch ice. On my daily basis. Ice keeps from the fridge in there, the mom before breakfast. Yeah. Spoiled brat.

Yeah, but we had those. Do you know what I'm talking about, though? Where they were all, there was probably be like, I feel like there was like eight or ten of them. And they would just hang down like fucking cow nipples,

you know? You're just like, the cow hudders. And you grab one of them and you go, real quick. Spray Gerbox ass. run away every time

just the assistant the high energy assistant coach who was like just out of college or something would always kind of

get down with it fucking around a little bit yeah then you'd be like hey let's go lock in after the coach gets that

until the big dog saw yeah then you piss Gerbach off so you're like yeah shit now I got to It's fun about Lassad, but I got to deal with this.

We're just in that we're in pro pads and he's going to fucking light me up. Sprayed Gerbox dick with the hose. Got in trouble. We got to run laps for the rest of practice. From Aaron. Nicknames for guys in high school. Dear Clubhouse. Hearing the Greg Skidmore story had me laughing in my work,

reminiscing about a classic middle school name of others would not believe. I give you Tony Strochein Naturally with our middle school sense of humor We turn into strokes shine Fast forward to ninth grade summer Playing What would you call this game now?

I don't want to get clipped saying this Oh yeah, yeah Smear the kid that you're supposed to tackle In the Bradshaw's front yard An old Stroke shine Who was known for having a temper Had an absolute meltdown after getting pummeled multiple times.

Ended with a bloody nose and him chasing after kids trying to knock their face in. Good times. Thanks for bringing the shit to us every week. Stop my ass and my backwards ravens hat that Ed Reed noticed me wearing in Las Vegas a Sunday of the Seahawks versus Patriots Super Bowl. Picture below. And here he is with Ed Reed. And Ed Reed.

Ed Reed looks blasted. Hey, when doesn't he? But That Where is that? That has to be at a casino or something. Oh, yeah. Looks like just outside,

like waiting in the, the lobby to get picked up or get a ride. He looks like he really regretted telling you, like, nice hat. He's like, God damn. No.

I'm got to your face. Stroke shine. Oh, stroke. Strokey. Stokey. Let's go. Kickoff team. Quit stroking it, strokey.

Save it for your mother's bathroom. We were actually, me and my buddy who I was down in Texas with, we were doing, we did it, but he was taking me all around Austin, so we were doing like, we were seeing a bunch of shit, doing a little bit of like hiking,

walking places, doing all this stuff. So, you know, naturally, started to add up a little bit. So in the morning, he was like, I'd get a little bit of stretching. We get a little bit of, you know what I mean? And he brought up a line that one of our linebackers slash assistant, assistant linebackers and special teams coach used to say,

save it for your marriage men when we'd be doing like, they'd be having us do like ab workouts and ab flexes for, or not ab flexes, like stretches for our hip flexors. So obviously there'd be a lot of, you know, thrusting going on. A little bridges, little bridges, little thrusting going on. So he's like, save for your marriage, save for your wedding night, man. Not Danny Cox podcast. Not a coach Shelburne podcast.

Oh, close. I don't think you had this coach. He was after your time. What you mean? He wasn't there in 76? This guy played with leather helmets. It's Coach Houser. Football name.

Call him Brickhouse. Yeah. It's tough in that interior line. Yep. Coach Houser. And he taught chemistry somehow. Wow. Mm-hmm.

What a combo. We don't see that often. Yeah. Football coach chemistry? Yeah. Can't teach that, man. had a little bit of mad scientist to him. Yeah, every coaching staff needs one of those.

He's dialed it up. He's a mad scientist. Nice. Let's go to Travis. Kevin Harlan, best commentator. So, guys, long time listener. I've been loving the Discord chat. Me too, buddy.

It's honestly, it's out of our hands. Yep. Really, you guys have taken it over. Me and Ben just kind of hop in there every now and then and start to start up a little something. But amazing to just pop in and see what's going on in there. It's just crazy. It really is.

So please join. You can find that in our bio. Link in bio. Link in the comments. Link on our Instagram bio and the description of the show. All right. Let's get back. I don't know how I'm going to get work done through the day because Clubhouse keeps dropping bangers and I don't want to miss out.

Exactly. I also loved hearing the evolution of Gerbach on last week's pod. We'd love to hear the evolution of weed kids. Is he still drive a Chevy avalanche? Does he go pro in the NFL? Does he clean up his act and become a haunti? Is this basically a story of Travis Kelsey? And on the subject of Gerbach,

what current or former NFL player gives off Gerbach vibes and why? Sent from my football landline phone. Appreciate that, Travis. What email? Appreciate it. All right, so let's start breaking down here with the evolution of weed kid. All right. All right, here's what happens with the weed kid.

Weed kid goes off to college and all of a sudden you go down and visit your buddies wherever the school is. You go and visit your buddies. And Weed kid is hanging out with them more often than he did in high school. You're kind of like, you know, what's up, you guys? Yeah. Okay. You guys smoke now? All that.

And they do. big time. And this guy kind of becomes like a central cast character among the group. You're kind of like, I might get, be getting booted out by Weep Kid. I don't go to the school. You know, I don't have the supplies. He's taken over, dude. We could be taking the place. Yeah. And it's like, he's cool. You know, he's fine because he's always high. So it's like he's never really going to be a problem. But he also doesn't really bring a whole lot to the table. Right. could be a little bit more giggly

obviously other times than not kind of a new kid on the block a little bit too so girls you know they start flocking to him a little bit he's got like really good style yeah he wears like skaters stuff like kind of hot his black jeans

skaters skaters shoes and black jeans and like a plaid long sleeve shirt that's buttoned all the way to the top I don't know there's just something about him that I just like, it's just hot. Yeah, it's like, I can't explain it. But he's like street smart, so. So weed kid fully makes his way out in the circle.

All of a sudden, weed kids like going on spring break with the crew. You're like, okay, he's fully in this. He's in. Yeah. He's just a part of this now. Mm-hmm. Right?

So that happens. And then all of a sudden, it starts to kind of wear off a little bit. like you kind of get over the newness of it and maybe one of your friends like breaks off and it becomes like stays like really really close friends with weed kid but then it just kind of starts to fizzle later on through college because everybody's kind of like

bro like yeah all right I get it but we're not 19 like we got to start kind of like yeah figuring some shit out here you know we kids like having like kind of grand grand dose visions of like just going out to Los Angeles and just like living out of a van there

and just like just living free man is we could is we can severely smart though yeah and that's where you're kind of like dude like you can you can be weed kid you can get high

and also just like I don't get your degree and go work for some tech company here's the he's the kicker. That kind of ends up exactly what he does. And then you graduate, you're like, man, I really heard from Weed Kid very much. Like, we remember like freshman sophomore year a little bit?

Like we were kind of always around him. Yeah, yeah, I do. Like, he was, yeah. I think he's doing all right. I think he's doing pretty well. You see Weed Kid now online or on LinkedIn. He's really big into like cryptocurrency. Weed Kid bought Bitcoin in 2012.

Mm-hmm. Yep, we're trying to, like, get you on it. I was trying to, you know, break it down. But you're always just kind of like, I don't know, man. Like, we were all just kind of sitting around. I think you, that was like your fifth rip of a gravity bong. Like, I don't know what you're talking about, you know. He's got that app on his phone that shows like all the like.

The stock. And you're like, what the hell are they looking at? Anytime anybody who pulls up in that app, I'm like, I have nothing in common with you. Yeah, I'm just going to sit here and, yeah, look at old pictures of the 2001 76ers. All the different colored lines. I'm like, what could that possibly mean? So I think that's, for me, that's the evolution of weed kid. It's like he starts getting into weed kid when he's in high school.

You don't really trust him. You know, he's always on the outskirts, a little bit of a loner. definitely wildcard you know but then in that year or two of college you're like oh shit like man yeah he's pretty cool and then he kind of bounces out a little bit more and like you you fall out of touch with them and then he kind of starts getting a little bit together because like I said like I think he probably works for some like startup tech company but he also is like heavy into like you see his tweets and they're like all just about Bitcoin like you know bit Nile and the crypto market and shit and you're like

okay well a lot of side quests yeah he's doing a lot of hey he owns a couple of houses that he flips too you know he's like doing all that

so we kid also handy well like he doesn't do it himself but he like rents out houses to college kids he's like doing all those like things you know I mean quick fix gotcha

yeah that is where my head initially went or second route like it just kind of stays weed kid forever

like doesn't ever get like cleaned up really just kind of like that's his life that he lives and he's chosen and that's what he's into

and ain't nothing stopping weed kid dog is he married no when kids not married no

had a girl girlfriend for a little bit and you're like, oh, what? How did they even meet? Yeah. Yeah. What do they even talk about? Amber? I think her name is Amber.

It's like a girl. No, but that's what I'm saying. That's like a girl that you went to high school with. Like you, you're all like, we all knew each other. You're in the same class. How is this happening now? Oh, yeah. Hey, and when they started dating, you got kind of jealous.

Nothing to do with her? She had no idea. You know, there was whatever anything there. But he started dating. Yeah. We could. Yeah. We could stole my girl.

If he made the play, then I could have if I just would have had the balls to do it. I just didn't even, I just didn't even think we could be something. But whatever. Off the market. Hey, no, he's, they break up. He's not married. He just has like three giant dogs. God.

Hey, one night. Well, not you and your boy who was always more closer to weed kid than you were. This is like post college. You're just like hanging out. He's just like, yo, you know, hit me up. He's like, he's like, weed kid. He's like, yeah, he said that we should come over and, you know, after if we're not going out or something, you're like, all right. So you run by there.

And he's way more, you know, way more in tune with him, way more excited to see him. But he's so like cordial to you. But there's just three just huge fucking. Oh yeah Like too big for the house dogs Yeah And you're just like I've taken my leg right before I go over to weed kids dude

He's like Yeah he's like you know He's just you're obviously just super chill about it Just like Oh man sorry about them Don't pay them no mind You're like Bro it's just staring at you the whole time

You're there sitting on the couch Weed kid and your boy are talking about all sorts of shit, like actually catching up. Going down memory lane. You just have a dog. You just have a dog from Ferris Bueller. Like ready to attack you. Eric,

I can't want to get the hell out of here. Think about where you're going on the way home. You start getting a little nervous, a little bit of that, like, you know, when you know in high school college, when you're in high school college,

nah, maybe, I mean, I don't know, maybe you do like one. You don't know, maybe you do like one little puff. But like,

Super paranoid. Yeah. Yeah, dude. When you're in a place in high school and college where you're just like, I, there's just something in my gut, like I should not be here. This is not, I don't like it, I'm uncomfortable, a little nervous now. Everything's fine, but I think my girlfriend's mad at me for some reason. I got to get out of here.

I might get better early tonight. You start getting paranoid, yeah, because you're like, man, I know at one point, I think he was moving something. I think there was some transactions going on. I don't know who's about to bust in here. Yeah, dude. You're like, I just got a cop car?

Or was that in my head? Dude, what if there's like seven cop cars outside right now? And they think I'm like part of the game. Part of this. When I'm just, hey, man, I just rolled by to see weed kids. I was just seeing what's up.

Yeah. Hey, you got to like abruptly leave his house because you're so paranoid. Text your, text your buddy. You're trying to do everything you can. You go to the bathroom.

text your buddy. Hey, dude. Can we get going? Hey, what should I say? Hey, do you coordinate a plan to leave? What should you say it or should I say it? But your buddy is like really excited to be there.

He's like so excited that he's not even checking his phone. You're like, oh my God, dude. Every time. What do I have to do? What do I have to do? I'm like, this is the one time he's not looking at his phone ever. I know. Oh my God.

you're like thinking like do I text his girlfriend tell her to call him like Are we getting that desperate It's that crazy yeah Like I'm not going to do that Front of your shirt's kind of wet Like near your stomach

Mm-hmm Oh back too Back for sure Hey what time of year is this Yeah Dude Damn man I got it.

What? You ready? It's like, it's like January 18th. Oh my God. I wasn't. Pitch black. It's so,

dude, in my head it was so dark out. It was so dark. Pitch black. He doesn't have, he doesn't have blinds on his windows for some reason. You're like, you of all people,

you're looking out the window. You're like, I have no idea who could be looking in here right now, but I can't see shit. I can't be in here anymore. I can't be in it. Dude, do you see a brake light? You think it's a cop car?

You're like... Yeah, that's why like you're wearing, like you have... You have like a Burlington Coat Factory, like, hooded jacket that you're wearing, you know, with your thermal shirt. So you're automatically... The nervousness, it's probably hot in there. Sweat, bad.

Oklahoma State Leonard. You can't find your keys. You're like, what the hell? Something like that would have. happen to. So you have to stay there even longer. I don't know where my keys are. There's a random like, like, Kansas is playing Kansas State at Allen Fieldhouse.

There is a crazy. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, dude. Oh my God. Please. Like, I'll be so grateful to just get out of here and like roll through the McDonald's

drive through and just go home. Dude, that's all you're thinking about is like, where am I going to go on the way? I got to get food on the way home. I just got to get out of here. Oh my God. I'll be the happiest little fucking birdie in the world.

If I can just go get two McDowels and orange high sea. Just go back to our house. Jesus. I just want to be in a safe place again. Yeah. Yeah. You start thinking about all that. You're like, I promise I won't ever go back to a place like this.

Like I just, I'll be so grateful to just go. to just be at my buddy's house. Not a weed kid's house. In your head, you're like, I miss my family kind of. Hey, dad always told me that, like, I could hit him up when I'm, like, really in a uncomfortable situation. Do I use this now? You ever need a ride, B, let me know. Do I take that lifeline right now?

Right. Yeah. You're scrolling on Twitter. All of a sudden, everything on Twitter is, like, super guilty. You're like. Oh, man. Hey, but then all of a sudden, like, you think you're getting right?

You think the moment is coming to where you're going to be able to leave. And your boy's like, oh, man, all right, dude. Well, I don't know. I think we're about to bounce. And then we can just like, oh, really? Well, I was going to say you guys should stay and hang. Like, I think Alyssa and a few of her friends are coming over. Your homies so into it.

You're like, oh, God. I'm going to get even more trouble here. never leaving. But then you're kind of like, okay. Am I on the turnaround here? You know? Like you just said,

really, you just at that point, you just need anything else to break up the dynamic of what it currently is. Please someone else walk in this house. Yeah. And not police.

We got it. We got us like, turn the tide. Yeah. We need a big play. We need. We need a block a punt here. boys and take it back for six.

I got to get our crowd back into it. That is the three group of girls that also show up to the house and they're coming in. They're putting on good media. We are always running for the thrill of it. You're like, all right. All right. I'm back in a little bit here. I think I'm going to be okay.

All of a sudden, just because girls show up, you dab up weed kid. Like you weren't just about to abandon. the whole situation. Good to see you again, Doug. Dude. You leaving? Hell no. The amount of January and February

nights and like 2013, 2014 that this is just describing for me. I can't even begin to tell you. Why was January and February so weed? January and February, definitely NFC. Oh, months? AFC or NFC? Yo.

January favorite most NFC months. Dang. Hey, also, weed NFC? Oh, dude. Yeah. Oh, they're growing

it over there, baby. Mm-hmm. Oh, shit. Weed NFC. Like, I can place myself. Like, obviously I just did. I just walked you guys through like 18 nights of my, I'm just 19,

20 years old. Hey, what were you wearing? Oh, yeah. Okay, no, my, Carhart, never mind,

I got that, I got it. What hat were you? What hat were you? Burlington Coat Factory, Carhart, baseball shirt underneath, a pair of Nike sweatpants,

uh, Steelers snapback. Hey, hey, fake Jordans. White ones. Fake, the fakes Jordans,

bro. Oh, yeah. You know. All right, let's get a burpy girl here. Sylvia. Only Sylvia, random fat stats. Joey Benny and Clubhouse. Been a while.

And I have a question, but I want to ask for a long time. Where and why do they come up with all the random stats week to week on ESPN? I know football is so over. But is it, though, since Kelsey just signed another year? But they'll have stats that nobody else is ever going to achieve again, such as the following. said football player leads the league all time with passing yards in the postseason playing as a lower-seated team in-away games

with the last amount of interceptions while being injured. Do they just do this for content or how do they get away with this? It's completely random, kind of annoying, and virtually impossible to fact-check. Let a girl know your thoughts. Silly-sill.

Wow. I think they're just bored right now. Bro, ESPN right now is the worst it's ever been. Ah, yeah. Hey, but next thing. This week? Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say, this week got a little NBA playoffs, NBA draft.

NFL draft. Yeah, it's about to turn up. Not that we're excited about that or anything. Yeah, my question for that is always just been like, damn, who, like, I know that all of those exist, right? Because there's been so many games and so many seasons. It's so much. But it's not so much about like if they're real or not. It's who is keeping track all those?

Like who and who is the person that's going in? and finding those different categories. Like in college, I know in the NFL, it's not the SID in the NFL, it's what it is in college, but they'd be like media relations guy or something in the NFL, head of PR, I don't know, head of media relations.

But I'm just like, damn, what do you even go about to start finding that out? Hembo, dude. Yeah, you know what I need to do, Sylvia, is we need to get some fat stats for, for the fellas. Drop some of those in there with them. That's all I really want to know.

Travis Kelsey led the league in yards after catch for tight ends last year and also wings consumed on Thursday. That'd be great. Let the league in YAC and B and G. Like, come on. How interesting would that be? You tell me you don't want to know how many,

You want to know how many packs of Scooby-Doo fruit snacks Dion Dawkins get down? All I want to know. Literally, who cares about anything he's down in the NFL? He doesn't eat the red ones? Oh, it's amazing. Yeah, but also, yeah, like, it was not, you know, not what they did just last week in the game,

but then the leak leading up to this one. How many uncrustables did they put down? That was the most amazing Instagram posts I've ever seen. The Broncos eat this many uncrustables or whatever during training camp. I was like, uh-huh. Thank you. God. Yeah.

Me and Benny be giving our fat stats on here. Let's see what you got. You know? 14 eggs a day. Part of the game. And Texas probably had no less than 13 alpastor tacos. Oh. Alpastor

Chicken NFC Chicken Alpastor AFC Alpastor man Whoever that is Love you dog I want to shake your hand Alpastor

So good So good What What This thing about what chicken Look, is his first name chicken? The last name, Al Pastor. Or is it just Al-A-L

his last name, Pastor. Al-Pastor. Al-Pastor. My friend Al, what's his last name? Pastor, he's the chicken guy. Yeah, tacos, yeah, he came up with the pineapple on there. Al? Wow.

So good. Hey, green salsa NFC, red salsa AFC? Yeah, I think so. But I think it's... It's like salsa NFC, cheese AFC. Like Koso. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Kso AFC, salsa, NFC. Okay. Chunky salsa. Giant. Chonkiest. Let's do another one here. Okay.

Let's go to Jack. Jack says 2013 Florida Gulf Coast. Gentlemen, first time, medium time. Welcome back, Jack. Part in last week's pod about high school football parents and coaches had me thinking about my senior year season last year when we had an assistant coach thinking he could take on a four-star Ohio State commit tied in. It was fall camp and said coach was holding a hand shield and an inside run drill. He proceeded to tell the Ohio State commit, give me all you got. and he got the pad shoved into his glasses

which promptly cut the skin around his eye and he had to leave practice to go to the emergency room for stitches. Have you guys ever had an assistant coach who had an ego like that who always thought he was the top dog even though all the players made fun of him behind his back? Smack my ass with football on the stick, the offensive line coach used to emulate the snap count. Appreciate it, Jack.

That's a good one. It's a funny story there. I mean, yeah, we've talked about, I wouldn't consider Coots this because he just was better than everybody. But yeah, you're medium time, so you may not have been here, but on Thursdays we used to have when we do like the two-minute drill. But we just do it against air,

just trying to get on our P's and Q's and everything. But our D-Line coach at the time, who is now the D-Line coach for the Indiana Hoosiers, he would just throw he would grab somebody's helmet one of his D-Linman's helmet and he would just throw it on and he would just be out there with nothing

it would just be everybody against him and he passed rush from different angles just like smacking the shit out of the offensive linemen's helmets and shit no pads on I never had just a helmet unbuckled too and just

throwing people too push pulling bull rushing swimming. Yeah. We didn't have anybody that like, not so much that like ego thought they were better, but definitely, I mean, God,

that's always still do is make fun of the coaches that we had. It's like the best part of it. They know what they're getting into. Absolutely. The coach you played for, you make fun of them for the rest of your life, every single one of them. Every coach that we've talked about on this show.

May not drop them by name. But it is, I would guarantee you that it is based on a real person. Yeah. Every time the Ben or I does one of these coaches or gets into character of that, I know exactly who he's doing. Oh, man. That's me. That's just like half of my day is just pretending I'm a coach of a guy that I've played for.

Yes. Yep. Coach Bart Not a Coach Bart Podcast Not a UNY football 2012 podcast Not a Glead of Division

Last week With the Last week with the Yeah The motivation from football coaches The win Coach Bart Signing

Signing every tweet With win Exclamation point Remember getting those texts sent to my phone From a computer With win At the end

I was like, I mean, it's not wrong. One thing about it, you can make fun of them all you want. It's not wrong. Effort intensity. Effort intensity. Two things you can control, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Not wrong. No, he's not. He's not. But like, yeah, some of the, I've done sketches and stuff before where it's like, we had a, like in high school, we had a, there's just so many coaches. and like it just got to a point where they were all saying like saying something so by the time that it got trickled down to the assistant special teams coach I mean bro just just turn around and just wrap it up oh after practice you mean like after practice then talk yeah coach you got anything yeah and I swear there was always one that like he would you could tell he was having an inner conversation like an inner battle

of like, should I? I kind of need to. Like, I'm a coach, right? I need to, like, say something. I need to make my voice heard. And I was just, man, you should have talked yourself out of it. Should have talked yourself out of it, my guy.

You're unlacing your shoes. You got your shoulder pads basically off. It's all that is when coaches are talking at the end of practice. But it's like, yeah, the further down the list of coaches you get, the more stuff starts. getting unbuckled and loosened and off. The head dog is going.

All right. Yeah. Don't want to fuck up here because if I do that, then who knows, he can tell us to throw him back on and go run more. So I'll lock in. Yeah. You know,

the defensive coordinator, maybe he's got something really poignant to say, something really like on the mind. All right. But dude, we start getting out of position coaches and shit. All right. Dude. What about the guy that's not even a coach?

He's just like a really big fan and he's always there. You know what I mean? That guy. You're like, what is he? What is he? He's on a coach. Do I call him coach?

I think he kind of wants me to. He's like, but he like wasn't here on the first like two weeks. I don't even know. He just like really likes a program. Kind of weird, but like, guess I should listen to him.

leaving us motivational messages in the locker room. I'm like, hey, kind of don't like that you're in the locker room when we weren't there. Hey, one time he yelled at you and you're like, what the fuck are you? Aren't you just going? Go. He yelled at you and he made fun of him and he heard you. And I, no, you're just kind of scared of him. Hey, but you were making fun of them with another coach.

Like a cool assistant coach, you know, like you get down. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I don't know what the fuck he's doing here either. Here's it. That's so funny, dude. Starts to text your position group and you're like, how and why do you have my number, dude? He's in our group message, bro. You're weird.

Might be. I don't know. I think there's somebody out there he's got that, but... What's that called, though? Like, what's that guy called? He's not an assistant. He's not like a...

What is that? Just like a volunteer. I don't know. Fucking... Volunteer coach. Doesn't do shit. A booster? I don't know.

But, like, doesn't provide anything to the program. Just like... Holds a shield a little bit for the running back sometimes. Right. Hey, that's the guy. That's just like, come on. You can, you can really give it to you. me.

Part of he's like, am I going to kill him? Yeah. I heard he was like... I only 17. Only 17, I got no offers, but like, pretty sure if I ran full speed at him with my helmet on. Wouldn't end well. I think he was in the hospital for like a couple weeks last year, too. Like, I don't know how hard I want to go.

He was like sick. Leg. Purple leg, dude. His leg Oh my God Brad Johnson Vikings helmet purple I don't know

what's going on with that thing Is he going to have to get that you like amputated Oh shit Brad Johnson That's crazy All right

Let's end with this one From Ryan Ryan Ryan says AFC NFC All one word January to June NFC,

June to December AFC that's all. I don't know the months I'm really going to have to First half of the year's NFC second half of the year's AFC Dang, dude

He's Ooh He's right October, November, December, December, they're AFC but they're kind of sneaky NFC a little bit too

for some reason. Yeah, but that's second half you get 4th of July oh it's so a FC the most

a FC thing I've ever even seen between between January and February being NFC having having no football

is honestly kind of NFC they don't need it dude they got it figured out they got it under control they've had football

they're good no football so NFC I mean yeah I'm sure I'm sure

I'm sure the you know Bears and Lambo I'm sure the cheese had chucks would debate us to the death

but chicks that's why this is our show this is our program jokes all right let's get out of there

on that appreciate it Ryan that you nailed the nail on the head of the coffin whatever they're saying these days

I don't know follow the show on X or Twitter. Whichever one is, I don't know, I can't keep up. What else you got? I asked. Nothing, bro. Let me check the old notes page. Wow.

Wow. You don't want to know what's in here. You don't want to know what's in here. Your notes or? Yeah, my notes. My notes for this show. Just like it's stupid ideas. Why don't you bring those up with a jump?

An hour to half. No, I don't know. You just said you have anything else. And I was like, let me actually see if I ever wrote anything down. But yeah, all it says were best quarterbacks who weren't quarterbacks, question mark. I think you want to do that for Mel's best. Maybe we'll do that next week. Whoa.

Well, well, Mel's best. That are best jackets. Fuck. It's your call next round. So you just tell me. All right. Follow the show. These guys, L.O.L.

on Instagram, follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcast, YouTube, these guys, L-O-L, watch us every week. Team these guys at gmail.com, boopie, boy. Ooh. Hey, there's El Pashtar coming back up for you.

Yeah, we got the Discord jump and pop and you can follow that through Instagram, the description of this show, wherever you need to find at the clubhouse on Discord. hop in there, shoot the shit, join the best group chat ever. We know you. We love you. Come talk about the scary time that you're at Weed Kids House. You didn't know if you're ever going to get out.

Clubhouse Discord never sleeps, by the way. Yeah, really. You check it. There's something in there anytime. It's nice to know. Like, you can just wake up and there's people sending pictures of, I don't know. Trent Delfare. Just boom.

Yep. Just 17 pictures over the weekend of Michigan State Stadium with a cloudy sky. I was like, this is unbelievable. Overcast, Michigan State Spring game. What do you know? Of course. Somebody said, somebody said, how bad is a sunglass hut struggling in East Lansing, Michigan? Doug.

So funny. Nobody owns a pair of sunglasses in East Lansing, not one person. no hats no visors in cars it's a point i mean i don't even know how they get crutes up there yeah it's just uh it's a good job by pat fitz-shirled um not a football podcast pat fitz pat fitz hey football names pat fitzgerald come on the guy's got a cowboy collar on oh yeah or neck roll no he's got a neck roll lacing it in the front remember seeing that for the first time you got Weird.

I'm going to be in Pittsburgh for the NFL draft. I'll be out there starting Wednesday. I'll be at Cam Hayward's event on Thursday evening. I think there's tickets still available to that. So a bunch of people are going to be there for that. It's going to be fun, but I'll be out and about. So if you see me say something, say hello. Drop me a name, whatever.

Dude, I'm going to be there, too. You're going to? Okay, I didn't know if officially. were going or anything. Yeah. To meet Johnson might be good. Same hotel. Fuck yeah.

All right. The me and Johnson might have something cooking. We might have something cooking then, which is exciting. Probably won't talk to each other. Nope. Both of those will be out there. NFL drafts, we can see her looking forward to that.

You can throw that at the Discord or YouTube comments. Just like, you know, fucking favorite NFL draft pick. Favorite NFL draft analyst, favorite, whatever you want to do. Long-witted answer. I'm just letting you guys know all the ins and outs here. And I'm just trying to find my way to get out of here.

This is when a radio host has to have hard out that he has to reach. And he's got like 15 seconds until he's got to hit that mark. And so he's just running back through the clip. So, yeah. Colts weekend. Pre-game show. Pre-game show we got you covered right here, started seven. Me.

You and a whole lot fun. me, you, Ken Dilger, and all the culture coverage you need starting at 7 we'll see it in the 5. I fit it in so quickly.

They drag it out so long and then they see it they're like, they gotta hit it. That's good. All right, cool. Yeah, a bunch of stuff to look forward to.

We appreciate you guys. Love guys. Talk to you next week. These guys. It's got. Station. Sharkfully.