THESE GUYS! - We'll Be Cool Cops

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

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His daughter was crying and he was kind of crying and he leans it down and he goes, some days you win, some days you lose. Bro, bro, bro, stop. I'll cry. Stop,

stop. Stop. TG 71. 71. Hot, hot, hot. So hot. Hey,

I think I like the Pro Bowl again. What? I do. No. Yeah, it's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad.

This is just, this is just contrarian Ben here. This is all that is. No, I mean, they were having a good time. It'd be different if they weren't into it, but they were kind of into it.

So I was like, all right. All right. Oh, just, I guess my like 2008 high school football colors are showing. But to me, it's all just grab assing.

I do kind of like some grab ass. They're just grab assing around out there. Fucking. You want to play Tug of War? They'd be in knuckleheads? Come on, dude. A bunch of knuckleheads out there. Knuckleheads grab assing for the Pro Bowl games.

Right, Frank? Easy. I mean, yeah, nothing's beating the, like, actual them playing football. But, uh, what are we going to do, bro? It's never going to, it's never going to go back to that. I think that's a load of bullshit. There's no Pro Bowl solution. Yeah, because they took the toothpaste out of the, out of the tube, man.

Now it's out. You can't stuff that stuff back in there. Now that you stop playing, which I think is, you know, I get it. Players don't want to get hurt, whatever. But I say just don't even have the games at all. Just have like the little, just have the little like events. Yeah, just have like a party. I don't know.

Just have it be, I mean, not the game game, but like the. you don't have an all pro bowl like an all pro game right they just get named to the all pro team the pro bowl is just a lesser version of that i kind of like i kind of like the little accuracy contest and stuff like that yeah do that stuff okay okay okay that's what i like that's what i like move it back to hawaii for god's sake yeah i did i was watching a clip and it was just michael vicks just doing the accuracy contest and he looked like like his NFL street character. Hey, if you're gonna like make them just

wear shorts and a t-shirt and like the visors and stuff, that's fine. But get rid of like the charcoal gray go back. Give me the red for the AFC and the blue for the NFC. Stars, maybe, give me the NFC. Stars.

Red for AFC. Blue for NFC. Burpy boy. I love you. Maybe I just like the drip. Maybe that's it. Yeah, I mean, Jail and Hurts didn't look bad, but when is Jalen Hurts not look bad? True.

I mean, they just, I don't know. I like football players wearing hats running down the sidelines. That's just what I like. No one makes a visor or a bucket hat look cooler than a football player. So even, not even fully backwards.

It's just like hanging out there. It's just like crooked is shit upside down and you're like, yeah, that plays. National Championship style. It's just like this. It's like Will Smith style. best gloves cleats

huge sunglasses yeah I have a deal with sunglasses chains yeah now we're talking now we're

now we're pro bowling now we're pro bowlin yeah yeah but funny thing like like NASCAR was back this weekend

and they were it was like I don't know 20 laps left to go on the race and so of course everybody was kind of like banging around right there's a lot of traffic right people trying to make a move and everything and one of the announcers is like man is that is this

the clash of the coliseum or are we out on the 405 right now like the interstate yeah you won't see that kind of rush hour traffic on the 405 and then there's like a beat and then the other one's like oh i don't know i've had a fair share in my day it's just like it's just like a basketball announcer when somebody pulls up like near half cord they're like whoa from Evansville oh okay yeah yeah yeah or when somebody hits a baseball

and they're just like you know they're in New York and it's like oh he got a hold of that one that one's going to the Jersey side this guy on the 405 or what yeah dude I've never I've never paid attention to NASCAR and I guess that's because I've never watching NASCAR race in my life

but I've never even heard in and out there. They're about what you'd expect. Yeah, they're, they'll got a little twang up there. They're excited to be up there. It's 4.05.

There's still nothing beating Joe the show from NBA Street for me. Come on, come on, come on. Hello, up a radar. Yeah, that's not bad. That's not bad at all. But I was just, I was sitting there Saturday night

watching that. And I was like, oh, they really did it. They really did it. They really did the 405, the interstate analogy, when doing a racing broadcast. I mean, that's what I always think about. Like, what are those guys like during real traffic, you know? Yep.

Do they get after it? I don't know if it translates, you know? Like, I don't know if there's skills, like, racing on an oval and a NASCAR translates to, like, driving a Ferrari on the interstate. You think they're cutting people off and shit? on the actual highway? Probably. Yeah.

Like if you're a cop and you see somebody like weave in and cutting people off and you pull them over and it's like Jeff Gordon, are you like, all right, God. You earned it. You earned it. Try to be cool cop there with Jeff. All right. Oh, I'd be cool cop all the time, dude. I get it.

Cool cop. I'd be so cool cop. I'd be so cool. cop. Hey. Just take it easy next time, all right? I can honestly say I've only gotten, I've only gotten warnings. I don't think I've ever gotten a ticket.

Really? Yeah, because I drive like very slow, I think. Or maybe I'm just really careful. I never wanted to say it though because I don't want to jinx myself. But I'm very just like trying to pay attention, I guess.

Because I think I know how stupid I am. Actually, I know the reason I don't want to do any of that is because I hate paperwork so much That I'm like, I don't even want to I don't even want to risk it Paperwork holds me back from a lot of things It's fair Yeah

You know buying, selling a car I'm like Uh No thanks Sounds like you're never buying a house then And I'm perfectly okay with that You buy a house You're sitting at that

you're sitting at that table for six to eight business days. Really? I thought you were going to say hours. This is the okay now here we need this. All right so now this is going to be only on your head for the next 50 years.

Why not just like one signature on an iPad and it's like copy and paste? They're kind of like reading you through it. Boom boom. Boom. We're still signing paper, babe. Paperwork Papa? I feel like for that, you know, you need it to be really official, you know?

Like, you don't want the president signing a bill into law that is on an iPad. Oh, I'd be down with that. Digital signature, a little emoji after? That's President Politi right there. Constitution? President Polici behind the behind the

the, you know, the big desk in the Oval Office and bringing them in the bills to sign Can we get a I'll just do it

my finger and I'll just like copy and paste everything Can we get to salute emoji after my name? American flag fire fire fire gas gas gas

gas gas. He's so sick who doesn't want that bill Oh shit, he's excited about signing this one. Emoges after it. You'd be the worst president. Oh my God, if I was the president.

I'd be like, I don't know, just do everything normal, I guess. What are we changing? What are we changing? Does anybody ever change anything? Doesn't feel like it. Cool. Stayed the Union. All right.

We're sending the Pro Bowl back to Hawaii. Sir, this isn't. I'm going to put double the stars on the Pro Bowl uniforms. No, no, I'm going to change everything. I'm going to change everything. New sheriff in town. This is what we're doing. The NFC is wearing their home jerseys, normal jerseys,

and away AFC is wearing their away jerseys. Just white, just home against away. We're not having Pro Bowl jerseys. That'd be cool. We're doing an NBA All-Star 2002 style. Any, so there would just be like a patch that signifies that it's the Pro Bowl or it would be a different helmet or? maybe just the cleats low key maybe just nothing

bro maybe just uh like an n or an a on their shoulder maybe but like you can tell who's who we don't the field is really where it it's pro bowl you know I'm down with that because then you get like the rivalries and play

you know like imagine back in the day if you had a home Troy Palomalu and a home Ed Reed and the same secondary together it's not like you can't tell the team apart. I mean, that's like, it's a dream. Everybody's just like, wow, can you imagine?

Boom. Steelers Ravens working together right there in the secondary. Oh my God, dude. Just, uh, I'm trying to think of a good one. Just away Thai law against a home Randy Moss. Randy Moss.

Purple jersey. Yeah. We're in some high top Jordans. High top Jordan shoes. Oh yeah, dude. I mean, why not? Let's do it. Hey, here you go.

Home Brett Favre handing off to home, Adrian Peterson. Both on the Vikings? No, no. I'm talking Packers, Brett Farrb. I know, I know. I know. I watched something on TikTok the other day, and I saw that Brett Fav and Adrian Peterson

were on the same team at the same time, and I almost lost my shit. Yeah, dude, that's the team that... Are you kidding me? That's a Super Bowl, man. Yeah I'm down with that I'm down

I like that Yeah I can get down with that For sure I think that would be I would bring the You know It would bring the

What we always look for A little class With a little cool And it's chaos too Because you're like What? Because some teams Have white pants on

And shit And you're like whoa You know what I mean Another C Yeah Classy cool chaos CCCC Can you see

See me on that Can you see See me on that Yeah Are you drinking a 7-Up? A zero-sugar Sprite. Okay, I was about to say. I haven't seen a 7-Up since like...

Oh, Beers! Yeah, 7-Up so in 1998. Last time I had a 7-Up, I was thrown up in my childhood bathroom. Yeah, with some saltine crackers. Uh-huh. It was good, man. Like Malcolm in the middle on the TV in the front room or something? With what on?

Like Malcolm in the middle? middle. Nah. It was a, it was like a weird weekend where I had like, a chiller was over and like, you ever get sick when your friend is over? Oh, that's a tough one. And I'm like, bro, I don't know what to tell you, man. I'm like actually sick. He's like trying to slip like crackers under the door. He like didn't know what to do at my house. I was like, thanks, dog, but like I'm kind of dying in here. Like, I didn't invite you in, but it like smells like throw up. Yeah. And I'm like, you know, I'm like, sleeping on the tile. trying to do everything you can to like make it through because you have been looking forward to this sleepover.

I'm like, damn, dude. I don't know what we're going to do today. Like I know we want to like our whole goal every single time. We were hanging out. When I was hanging out with a friend as a kid at my house was just to go to my neighbors and play basketball on his goal rila basketball hoop. Yep. That was like peak. Like if we can pull this off, we're good.

Yeah. Because if not, we got to play. on my weird, like, huffy basketball hoop in my driveway. The plastic backboard. Plastic backboard, but it was see-through, but it was, like, not legit, really. You know? At least you had the see-through. I didn't even have that.

Yeah. I was like, dude, I was begging my dad for a basketball hoop. Like, come on. But he didn't want to buy me one because he didn't want it to, like, kill the grass. Yeah. That little square area. He was like, I can't do it. Why can you just play with?

in the driveway, like on the slope, like at the top. I had one of those joints that like, you had to put sand in the bottom of it to like weigh it down and keep it there. So then it would rain. It would just be it would be even heavy.

You were moving that shit anywhere, dude. I know. Hey, being sick for real, though, was one thing. Those times where you were faking sick at a friend's house or even worse, you think maybe they were pulling the fake sick card on you? I don't think that ever happened to me, man.

Damn. I never... You never fake sick somewhere? Just like school and shit. I never really got to go over to my friends much so I wouldn't fake sick. I think that would be crazy because their mom would like be trying to help you. No, no, no. It's not that much of a production I'm talking about.

Because it's a fine line to I, you're faking sick when like you're somewhere and you don't want to be there anymore. Uh-huh. And you want to go home. But you can't just come out and say, hey, sorry, man. I really just want to go home. God, that would be so, that'd be so great. Dude, my mom could kind of like, she couldn't wait to pick me up.

Like, she wanted to pick me up at all times. So I could have, like, called over there and been like, can you pick me? There was not one moment in my life where I was ever out somewhere with my friends and I wanted to leave. because I think it was a rare occasion that I even got to do it. But you, you were like, you played the I want to go home card? Dude,

I can't believe you. I mean, think everybody's had a little bit of the, going to the bathroom. Oh, my stomach's just really messed up. I don't know. I think I better go home.

Have you done that on me? No. Because we're, this is only, this only habit, because at this point in our life, you're just like, I think I'm gonna bounce dog

and you're like all right yeah cool thanks for coming no big deal yeah but back when you're like 11 there's no just hey I'm gonna bounce dog I'm gonna call my mom this shit's weak

nah dude I wanted to be there forever honestly you're you're at the hands of the environment so sometimes you got fake sick everybody's house was so much more fun than mine

that I was like yo I can't believe this I would sit and play somebody else's video game system for like four hours. Like, well, they could have been like at their grandmas, bro. I would have been at their house like... Just glad to be here. Dude. Man, I guess I was just lucky then, man, because...

I'm lucky in the sense that, like, you know, I was going to my friends a lot. Like, but sometimes you just had to have those. Like, you had to... Maybe that's the email question in this week. for the clubhouse is just like a story about when you had to fake sick or when you had to leave a friend's house what extent did you go to to get the hell out of there for ben apparently nothing for me it was always just like a usually with the stomach right because it's never like a fever thing or how can you really tell stomach bug you know it's like a soft tissue issue yeah dude for a couple of times like we'd be like football in the backyard. I remember my face

was like my nose and lips were bleeding. My friend's mom was like, okay, you probably got to go home and I was like, nah, dog, fourth quarter. Like, I got to get you back out there. Like I was doing anything to stay. I think I was that kid that would like stay too long and not

know maybe. That would I think about it? Oh yeah, I've had those too. I've had those as well. I might have been that kid that's like he might not get out much. I had a few of those though. And it was always, you know, because you know my mom, she didn't handle that shit. And it was always like the kids that like their parents wouldn't send them with like any money or anything. Like so then if we like went out to eat or had

Pete, you know, whatever it was like they were putting the bill. And it was always the kid that would like, he would order an appetizer to just had no sense of awareness. Right. Like when I would go if my friend's parents took me out to dinner while I was staying the night there I'm like water all the kids meal if I have to I'm not even touching the appetizer like I'm just lucky to be here

I don't want to do any of that sometimes I'd get some pals usually from my baseball teams it was never like my homies because we're always on the same page it was like if I was having a kid sleep over from my baseball team or something we'd go to like

B-dubs or some shit like that and he'd be getting and, you know, fried pickles. As an appetizer, you're a spoiled brat, dude. Like, a thing of 15 wings and just wouldn't even just like walk out of there, barely even saying thank you. I'm like, you're a psycho. Now I feel bad and weird because my parents are like, I mean, yeah, you're with us

for the night, but like, God damn. You're going insane. You're going crazy. No, it was always very respectful. I remember I went, my uncle took me to Taco Bell one time. And I was a, when I was a kid. And I didn't know you had an uncle. Huh?

I don't even know you had an uncle. Isn't that weird? Yeah, kind of. It felt weird saying it. My uncle took me to Taco Bell, bro. And I was like, uh, we were in the drive-thor and I was real like, I was like, dude, uh, can we buy stuff that's not on the dollar menu? And he was like, yeah.

And I was like, what a revelation. And I didn't know what to get because it's like my first. first time ever I'd talk about, I was like, I'll just have what you're getting, dude. It ended up with like a nachos Belgronde with like so many peppers on it. And I was like, I don't even know what these are, you know? I don't even want it. What's your uncle's name? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, get this, get this.

All right. Hold on. Hold on. Dad's side or mom side. Mom side. Oh. Yeah, it's not going to be an Italian name. No.

Um, mom's side. Three letters, three letters. Mom's names, Amy. Your uncle's name is. Three letters. Stu. Hey, hey, hey, Pat. Uncle Pat?

Uncle Pat, bro. Not bad. Uncle Pat's a G, straight up. Cross country and track coach. You get down with an Uncle Pat? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Man, I don't know why I was blanking on Pat.

That seems like it should be. Because I was going to say Joe, but I was like, that's your dad's name. I thought you were going to nail it. I mean, there's a top. Todd, Todd. I thought you're going to go Todd. I thought T-O-D. I mean, Stu's four-letter stew, isn't it?

St-U. Oh, when you said stew, I was like, he must not have heard me say the three-letter thing. I thought I thought stew is S-T-E-W. That's like beef stew, dog. I know, I was just thinking Cordell Stewart, my bad. K-10 always on my mind.

Slash. Bro, speaking to him, I saw he posted the other day his, like, player intro, bio thing for Super Bowl 30. And it literally had

Cordell Stewart, wide receiver slash quarterback, slash running back. Somebody was thinking, wait, he made it, slash made it to a Super Bowl? Yeah,

he was, I believe, a rookie when the Steelers made it to Super Bowl 30 against the Cowboys. That Super Bowl's sad, to me for some reason.

Does the Steelers win? Because the Steelers lost. Okay, yeah. Okay, yeah. At the end of the game, Bill Cowr was like, all right, let's go home. He like had his daughter.

I was like, I'm going to kill myself. Dude, he goes, his daughter was crying, and he was kind of crying, and he was kind of crying, and he leans down, and he goes, some days you win, some days you lose.

Bro, bro, bro, stop, I'll cry. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop. With the goatee. Or he says something. You win some, you lose something.

Like one of the, along those lines. Oh my God, brother. That hit hard, bro. Clubhouse knows. Clubhouse knows what we're talking about. If any, dude, my whole family could pass away. I won't even say anything. But Bill Cowher says that on NFL films, bro.

Yeah. Good night. Good night, dog. Oh, that one hits different. That one cleared my sinuses. But then he, like, you go from that to then when they won it. in 05 at Super Bowl 40, 10 years later.

And he gets all of his daughters that are grown at this point. It gets all of them together. And they just won. They're all in the field. And he's like, all right. On three, on three, we'll do a big high five. And then he's like, one, two, three. And they all just like, ah, like it's the most awkward, weird thing ever.

But it's like a dad who just won the Super Bowl. What are you going to do? I'm good on that. Can't watch. Can't watch. You just would have walked away. I would have been out. Bro,

why are dad so weird, man? Dad's, when dad's trying to plan shit, it just doesn't work. Yeah. I think about that a lot right now as the father of a one and a half year old and really any time

newborn. And I'm like, man, like one day I'm going to be, you know, they'll be like 18 and 17 and I'll just be like the big dumb dad

right like trying to do family activities together and they'll like oblige you know because it's like a dad wanted to but they'll still be like making fun of me so hard you know. Yeah that's just that's just how it goes man because you know,

it's just a ride of passage. You're going to make fun of your son all the time and then he's got one day he's going to start getting witty I don't think I have it in me I think I'm just going to be like the big goofy lovable dad

who just like is so in love with this kids and they'll just like shit on me it's the best dad best dad big dumb funny dad come on who doesn't love that guy big dumb funny dad

everybody loves that guy except his kids oh my dad yeah yeah that's true I'm like dude your dad's the shit like I think your dad's

dope as fucking. You're like, he's not that cool, bro. I mean, I've never said that. Like, he listens to this. So now he's going to, that's going to come up the next time I see him. I've never said that, dad. I'm always, it's just what it is what it? You know, you're like, yeah, yeah, he's, he's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You always, not that you don't think he's cool. You just downplay it. And I'm like, all right, yeah. Right, right, right, right. Right, right. Right.

Did I watch the Grammys last night? What? I've never, that thought is, I've never known that the Grammys were on until it's over. And I see a bunch of shit on Twitter and I'm like, yeah, it was wild.

You watch it from start to end? Just about. I flipped on, I've been watching True Detective on HBO and they had a new episode last night. So I flipped, I watched probably a solid two and a half hours, though. really like commercials too yeah just because i mean rye wanted to watch it you know she likes it you know and then this week we got the super bowl right so it's like oh you know i'll watch that

watch the super bowl you know kind of playing both ways this sunday yeah what are you doing for it sorry i i know you're you're about to say something about the grameas no it's all right don't it's just like it's an interesting you know because for a lot of people that is their Super Bowl. The Grammys? Right. Yeah. Or like the Oscars. You know? A lot of good performances. That was cool. Like having a bunch of different performances on there that you're watching everything. Trevor Noah did a pretty decent job, I thought. Like wasn't in the way. Wasn't like, you know what he did is he won over Taylor Swift in that crowd, which automatically meant he won. because at the Golden Globes, there's a whole to do because the host there had some bad jokes about Taylor Swift

and the NFL and they all bombed. Yeah. And so then he was just screwed. But Trevor Noah and his crew learned from that. And so they flipped the script and they were very supportive of Taylor and they made a funny joke and kind of observation about the whole her and NFL thing. And they got her on camera laughing.

And so they're like, A win. That's a win. To dub. So he did a good job. But I don't know what I'm doing for the Super Bowl, bro, because I mean, the baby. Like we just,

we were literally on call at all times, like just waiting at all times. Or, that's a good scenario. So, like, we don't have any plan set in stone yet because, like, we very well could be at the hospital.

That'll be one that you remember. We should be a memorable, what should be a memorable Super Bowl, you know? No, it's good. You're just not doing it. anything. Dude, always being on call has got to be, like you never

know when it's happening. Yeah. I don't know. A Super Bowl, that's just kind of like whatever, that's good. I mean, that's what I do every single year. I'm like, I don't even know if I'm watching it or not. No, yeah, like I said, like it definitely different, interesting. Obviously, the priority

to be Rye and the baby. But got a couple options in the back pocket if the baby's either here or, you know, doesn't come. So Let's see. Nothing too crazy. Dude, I meant to tell you this.

I am fully in on, like, thinking about trying to look into all the above a smoker. Oh, dude. You're a hundred percent married guy now. You're 100% family. You're getting, oh, man, you're locked in. You're like one of those eggs. grills away from being big dumb funny dad. Nothing wrong with it, bro.

But you're locked in. That's good. I don't think that we're going to go the big green egg route. There's a couple others out there. My father-in-law has one. We've kind of looked into, we got, you know, I've got some experience. I've kind of seen how that operates a little bit. You kind of got a nice grill.

I'm thinking about it from the Fourth of July, these guys video. It's not bad. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's not, but they're just, like, I hate to say it, but I'm just really, like, I, I really into, like, smoked meats, like some, like some, like some pulled pork, you know, some brisket. Like, it's just so good. You brisket, bitch. You brisket, bitch. That's insane. I never thought I'd hear you say that, man. Not that it's bad, I just never thought you'd be. It's happening, man. That's good. I don't know. I mean, like I said, I've been making these steaks, making these pork chops, making all this stuff. And now I need to round out the, I need to round out the arsenal.

I need to get the smoke going. Brisket, bro. You know, I need to cue the smoke. Are you just going to throw a pig on there one day? I don't think that's how it works. Oh, that's not it. Dude, I remember going to like a, like an NFL tailgate and seeing just a pig all hog tied. Well, yeah, I'm not trying to like recreate Bill's Mafia in my backyard, but.

Oh, man, that's what I was gunning. I was hoping for that. If I get a big old slab of it, throw it all on there, let it simmer, let it do all that shit. Just the dude's crock pot. Yeah, you know, I think it's time. It's like, I don't know why I just, I want to wrap. So I want to marinate and wrap some of those meats. in aluminum foil and let it sit in the smoker and then open it up and just have all the delicious

and it's good like i want to do that so badly and i don't know why or when that switch flipped but it just did do you uh like how long does it take to smoke smoke no idea i it can be like overnight it can be i mean hours you can do it for depending on what you're smoking. Yeah, I'm thinking about like a Sunday where the Steelers play a night game. You go out there at like 10 a.m. coffee in hand. Lay down the Brisket, do whatever you got to do. I don't even know how

you do it, but then it just cooks all day. Pre-game starts. Now we're talking. Let's eat some hog. Let's go. See, how great does that sound? It's just the coffee in the morning for me, really. That sold me. Dude, I do anything with a coffee

And I'm like, yeah, it sounds good Do you know what I mean? I'm gonna, here, run against this brick wall, I'm gonna shoot a fucking sniper rifle. I'm like, all right, can you give me a coffee? Got one of those in a hand? Sure.

You make sure there's a straw in there too, please. Can't drink anything without a straw. You have also gotten me on the hot coffee straw gang. For some reason, I don't, I don't even know. What was I doing before that? You know? We're just drinking out of our...

From can to mouth. Yeah. Coffee cup to mouth. To no one's surprise. My sister and her husband have given me a lot of shit for it. Oh yeah. Everybody gives me shit

for drinking out of a straw. But I'm like, it's more fun. I think so too. It's easier? How many times have you gone to take a drink of your coffee with no straw

and it's got one of those lids with a little opening and something fucked up happens. You go to... quick. It kind of falls out. Like, I'm always getting coffee all over myself because I'm going to, like, pour it back.

And then it comes out of the little hole. You do a straw? Take care of it. No problem. It's easy. It's right there. And like, you can't find that little hole sometimes, you know? The teeth?

You got to do that weird thing. Trying to find the hole in the coffee. Yeah, there it is. You got to rotate. Yeah, you don't ever have to rotate with the straw. There it is, babe. You know where that shit is. Except for you do look pretty stupid when you're trying to, when you can't like jabbing yourself in the face and shit.

You were kind of trying to do that right there. Yeah, but like, you know, I was giving you the reenact. Because sometimes I am like. Right. That's some late night stuff. Roll over to side of the bed. Dude, I actually have one of the, what is it called? Damn, I can't think of the name.

The thermos thing with the water. What is it called? Stanley. Stanley. cup. I have one. Do you really? Yeah. It's fire. Is there a knockoff? Um, no. My, my hair place got it for me for Christmas. Your hair place is getting your presents. Yeah, they, you know, they send you a little, Merry Christmas, you know what I mean? It's kind of nice. Wow. A little care package.

I'm one of their VIPs. So, when did they send that? Like, what, what day did you get it? Do you remember? Um, it was just like for, for I don't know. No, I don't know. It's always interesting the timeline there. Sometimes I've gotten those packages on like December 29th. I'm like Christmas is over. Oh, yeah. That's on their part.

They fucked that up. But then I've also gotten them on like November 30th. I'm like, can I not even enjoy my turkey? What the hell's going on? Yeah, they can never hit the mark. I think it was like a December like seventh thing. Not bad.

No, it was perfect. I was like, wow, I'm never using this shit though. Thanks for nothing. for this Stanley Cup I know well I was like when am I gonna use this honestly like I used to be a guy that was just drinking out of like a water bottle you know you know what I mean

you've been through that you've been through that water bottle phase I'm like you just throw this around throw in your car throw it in your bag like it's not like high maintenance fuck it but then you get a Stanley and it's like oh dude this is kind of an event right here It keeps it cold So cold And the coffee You throw coffee in a Stanley

Or a Yeti I haven't done anything I haven't done anything besides water It sounds stupid to say Because that's what it's designed for But still the fact that You can throw coffee Hot coffee into a Yeti or a Stanley

And then you know Be riding around your car Come back to it like an hour and a half later Whatever You take a drink You're like damn This isn't like lukewarm Like, this is warm.

Yeah. It is amazing. Your timeline of coffee enjoyment just goes through the roof when you got one of those. I'm scared to put anything in it besides water. Why? Because then I got to clean it. You know, coffee in the morning, water at night. It's like, there's a lot of shit going on there.

I don't know. I don't know. I'm not really big on cold water or hot coffee. like I'll drink it just normal room temp on some weird shit. Can't drink room temperature. Bro, I am right now. I'll make coffee and then I won't finish it in the pot. It'll sit there for like a day.

And I'll come back the next day and drink the rest of the pot. Is that weird? Horrible. Really? Yeah. You don't even throw it in the microwave for a quick 30? I'm not going to lie to you, dude. I don't even have a microwave here.

I haven't needed one once. I was like, I'll get one. Like, it's not that big of a deal. I can go to the store and get one. But there hasn't been one time where I'm like, man, I really need to put that in the microwave. Do you have an air fryer at least? Nothing, dude.

Wow. I'm just rocking just like oven. Stove top oven. Stovtop. Yeah. You can play the stove top. Yeah. Throw it in the pan.

Good to go. Stovetop will play. Definitely. All day. That's mostly where I do. My shit. Get a cast iron. Dude, it's over, but I'll beat the hell out of a

Like a cast iron pan Because I, when I like cook stuff, dude, I go like highest level of heat You know what I mean? Like I don't slow cook bro I'm all, I'm guns blazing How guy is that? Just like, make it hot! Except my coffee!

Yeah Well, I just like want it to be done quick So I'm like, high, let's go Yeah, it gets too smoky in here. I smoked a little. place out and that's without even being having a smoker like oh like when you cook the whole place is yeah that's that happens every time i cook anything my whole entire i'm like this place could burn down yeah i rip my smoke detector off the wall though no hasn't done that you know it's like

it's it's crazy i'm like what do to do to like okay it's beeping it's so annoying that i'm to kill myself. I change the battery. It's still beeps. Still beeping. Take a baseball bat to it. I'm like after after I change the battery, the beeps are over right? No. Nope. They're just beginning. Huh? I said they're just beginning then. What's the secret with that? Clubhouse help us out. What like honestly it's it's more complicated than changing the battery. Jesus Christ, man. Couldn't tell you man. Not my area. Yeah, that is not your area. And I'm glad it's not. I always think about that shit sometimes.

I'm like, I wonder if Joey knows how to do that shit. Nah, probably not. Nah. Then I'm in the clear. That's your favorite thing about me. Don't know how to do that shit.

Yeah, it's nice, actually. It's like a, it's like a relief. I'm like, finally there's another guy that doesn't know how to do shit like me.

Thank God. Let's get through the clubhouse. We got quite a few this week. Hot, hot, hot, Hot, team these guys at gmail.

This is from Jacob. cutting weight. This hit a chord with a few people here this week. Nice. Jacob says, listening to y'all talking about cutting weight for junior high football made me think of when I was playing fifth grade youth football. We had a kid on the team that had to cut weight. So to cut that weight, his dad put him in garbage bags and in the attic. For context, this is South Louisiana. At the moment, nobody thought anything of it, but looking back, this seems fucked up, LMA.

I know y'all need to know the outcome, but yes, he made weight and we didn't win a game. all for not yeah dude the the bags I saw a few of those in my day I've never bagged up I've always wanted to

wrestlers bag up wrestlers bag up big time dude what something that's not okay talk about eating disorders bro wrestlers high school wrestlers are going through it

bro never met a more miserable person in your life why is that that's all the like that cannot be okay to do. Are they still doing that? I got to cut weight, dude. I think so. Sitting at lunch with the wrestler, he's eating four carrots, just like tired as fuck. I'm like, are you okay? Are you sure you should be doing this? Got to win state, dude, got to go to the next weight class. I'm like, this is so weird. Yeah. Can you just wrestle somebody that's your same size? I'm so confused.

You sacrifice a lot as a wrestler. Like, your looks. I mean, you're getting beat to shit. Oh, it's so hard too. I almost wanted to wrestle to like see what the all the hype was about. Like, because they were like, dude, our practices are so much harder than anything. And I'm like, I kind of believe it. I do for sure. Because like the heat is cranked. The coaches are crazy.

You guys are like just battered and shit coming to school the next day tired. I'm like, but I just don't know how to wrestle. I'm like, what do you do? When I think of like, we're wrestling, I'm like, so you're like, jumping off the ropes and stuff. I'm like, how do you get there? Hey, hey, jumping off the stage at a high school gym. Right.

I would wrestle if it was like that. Right. Coming out like masks and stuff. Yeah, they can really beef up high school wrestling. Just come out to like songs and everybody has a nickname. Yeah. Right. Yeah, get those numbers going there.

Right. But it was always just conditioning. you're beating each other to hell you're wearing trash bags you can't eat their practices were always like four hours long I feel like like they'd be this time of year and it would be pitch black outside

they'd still be like in the block house like shooting each other and everything I'm like what is this is insane I felt like there are no rules but did they run? Did they do cardio? Yeah oh yeah did they? Did they? Yeah like on the mat

where they running back and forth They would do like Laps around the mat Just continuously And then they would like Ressle and spar and everything between And I mean Stairs

Like they do Stadium Stairs Everything Dude wrestlers And crew neck sweatshirts Ooh What was that about? Wrestlers and just the

Gray sweatshirts Slashers slash sweatpants Heather Gray and wrestlers How come there wasn't like a swaggy wrestler ever though You know they're all just like grit Don't need it man It's not what it's about No flash no flash

Hey no flash all fire Danny Rojas was pretty swaggy Was he? He was a wrestler Yeah Okay He's more so he wasn't like He just had a hint of flash Like he was a cat

Like even for football like he was a cat that would wear all white cleats. Yeah, we're all kind of wearing like, you know, a little bit of black, a little bit of mix of, you know. The all white was ahead of its time

if you were doing that. Yeah, he was. From Tim, what's your streetball name? Does everyone not have a street ball name? Imagine my shock when I was hooping up with my new college buddies freshman year.

We're still kind of feeling each other out and getting to know each other. And when I asked them what their street ball name is, no one else had one. mine is soft serve. I worked on ice cream shop in high school. When I told them with a completely straight face,

they all burst out laughing. I wasn't expecting that because I thought it was normal to have one. What's your streetball name? Slap my ass with a soft serve ice cream comb that has a perfect curl on top. Yes. Dude,

that guy gets it, man. I mean, everybody gets it, but the perfect curl is so clubhouse. Soft serve is a great nickname. Like it a lot. I never had one, man. I just pretended I was,

like one of the guys on the N1 mixtape. Yeah, I never had one either. We didn't streetball like that, man. I wish I had one. Yeah, we weren't creative enough. We just copied. You know, we were just fucking, who's a dude who did, was it, spider something? Hot sauce. Yeah, hot sauce. Hot sauce is nice. Hot sauce is nice. And that's another great, maybe that's a key.

Just get two words from food. Coney Dog Chili dog Chili cheese Grilled cheese Grilled cheese Grilled cheese B and J

Nah Too many Too much Too much Peanut butter would be okay We're just saying food that we're hungry for now

Bread pudding I'm like scrambled eggs And a little bit of cheese In between some Texas toast Blame Mignon You're just hungry bro, you're not thinking about nicknames anymore. Did you ever have a nickname grown up?

Did it, did like... Just Joey, Doug. It was just, yeah, I mean, it was just me. You didn't know, like, nobody ever said. Dude, am I the first person to give you a nickname, Molnard? Well, I don't really count those. Like I said, you know, people would call me like, Mole. It's so stupid, I want to say.

Yeah, I didn't want to say. There was never a cool one, though? What was your fourth grade football nickname? I didn't play in fourth grade. God damn it, dude. You missed out on that? I know. Did you ever think about what would it have been?

I like to think that would have been like stallion or something. Nice. Okay, okay, okay. That's, I just needed a direction to go in. Now we got it. But that was like, that was your coolest bullet. That's not bad. I know.

I was like, I thought about the other day. I was like, that's kind of still plays. Fast hurts people. Right. I was like, it's short, it's quick, but that was a big moment for me, dude. Like I didn't... Hey, the font on your helmet could be cool, like sleek, you know? Like the bolts flying.

That's some more deeper shit, but... This is from Joey. Ben's Super Bowl party. Hey, fellas, I just want to know of Ben's plans on throwing a Super Bowl party where he doesn't watch any of the game. Ideally, just playing nothing but music on YouTube. If so, hit me with the Addy. my ass while yelling

Trappaholics, biotch. That's literally my Super Bowl party. Cute by all these people, games's not on. Nah,

just music. Just music on YouTube with a bunch of tabs up on a laptop. Like, you can watch it if you want it on your phone, I guess,

but have fun finding the Wi-Fi password. Hey, it's just remixes with music over the top of like the 90s Super Bowl's. Like it's a literal

Super Bowl party. Super Bowl party. We're just watching all the old games with music. I did do that one time for the Super Bowl. I went to a weird Super Bowl party. It was like my friends and we watched the Super Bowl, but music was playing and the game was just on mute.

You would have hated it. But it like kind of was nice at the same time. I don't know. I don't think so. As long as the game was on. Like I don't, you know. I guess it's a commentary. It's like at Super Bowl party I had to that apartment a few years back.

like the original Niners Chief Super Bowl. Like we weren't hearing anything. We just had it playing on the projector. That was a good party. I could be down. From Charlie, the big three minus Chris Bosch. These guys,

what's up, boys? Just finished it up, listening to your podcast and had to get this out while my blood was still boiling. In response to Ben's question, the sports player I hate has got to be Chris Bosch.

How is that T-Rex looking dude part of the big three? Are you kidding? You have LeBron, Dwayne, and the third is Chris Bosch. Reminds me of the three-headed dragon mean with two mean dragons and one goofy-ass dragon. Yeah, yeah, that's true. It goes on to say, it's a long one here. So he's kind of, I'm trying to see.

He kind of just Vince about that. It says that felt good to get out. I'm glad you guys asked, Teddy Bruske. So you secretly love Chris Bosch. But you got to remember, Chris Bosch was like different before he came to Miami. Remember he was like, he was like, he was like, like dreads like always dunking it Chris Bosch. Remember that?

Yep. I was like dude, Chris Bosch is a problem. Like I never like watched any of his games because like I feel like the raptors weren't on a lot. But I was like that guy is like Kevin Garnett type. Then he went to Miami and I was like, oh shit. That's kind of a him and Dwayne Wade is crazy.

And then LeBron. But then he had to like, I guess he had to switch up his style a little bit. Like once you, your hair is what you're. what your personality is. Yeah. You cut your hair from crazy to conservative. You're like,

you're gonna start just hitting some baseline jays. He kind of got relegated to the, the, the baseline jumper and just kind of a rebounding guy.

But he was kind of still doing his thing. Chris Bosch, heat 18 and 8. Who's not taking that, you know? Kind of like a putback dunk every now and then

like, all right. All right. Dude, the amount of things. My dog, does this thing? where he goes and barks to the back door,

but then backs away when you open up the door and then it's a whole thing. All right. Let's end with this one here. Damn, that's long. Damn, that's even longer. Here we go. Fellas part two from Benjamin Davis.

Yo, I'm the dude from last summer that printed out the NCAA-O-6 Desmond Howard cover and glued it to his graduation cap. buddy and I are finalist in an NFL analytics competition and we get to present our project at the combine later this month. I've never been to indie before. What are some things that my buddy, my wife, and I should do while we're in town? Well, I'm kind of more interested on, I mean, not more interested, but I'm kind of wondering about what this analytics competition is. That's sweet. Maybe you can email back and hear about that. Yeah, but I mean, the combine man,

I mean, like, I've tried to get Ben out there with me before, but now he's out in L.A. So he can't. But I mean, all the same shit, like you're going to hear, you know, Elmos, Harry and Izzy's, a bunch of the NFL people, like the NFL world essentially goes a Prime 47 almost every night. Oh, yeah. Prime 47 is like the spot where you go to like, if you want to like see like the top picks, they're going to like everybody's at Prime 47. It's actually insane. All the media people, like just a bunch. So check that out if you want.

If the Pacers are in town, hit that up. Pacers games are super cool, pretty affordable. They did a whole bunch of renovations for the All-Star game. So it's really, really like popping over there. Commission Row is a new place that's right there by GameBridge. That's a really good steakhouse with a speakeasy in the basement. What? Yeah.

Which is dope. It just opened up, but it's super good. Me and my wife went there. So, you know, just steakhouses, man. Check out Dave and Busters. You know, I don't know if you've heard of it. Hit up Needlers. Great little supermarket on Mass Ave.

Brewberger. Come on. Love it. Yeah. Mass Ave has a bunch of good bars. But yeah, steakhouses. Go to Napetown Thrift. Just saying it.

Wow. It's a gym right there. Yeah. Besides that. absolutely nothing to do. No, I'm just kidding. Hopefully see you out. All right, man. Got a stuff to do.

Yeah, dude. Seems like you're, it seems like you're kind of in between some things. Yeah. Get out of here. Got to take the boy on a walk and to the park and whatnot. So. Yeah, brough. Hopefully walk this baby out.

But yeah. Happy Super Bowl week to everybody. Enjoy your Super Bowl parties. Hey, Clubhouse, if you got a Super Bowl party, get the remote and, you know, throw on YouTube and throw on the Packers Broncos Super Bowl for a bit. The outfits before the game. Do something like that.

Pre-super Bowl, Super Bowl? For maybe in the comments or the, or email, just what you ate during the Super Bowl? What was your, what were your Super Bowl stats? What's the spread? Yeah, Super Bowl stats. Super Bowl stats. How many peanuts did you eat?

What did you, you woke up and ate what? did you starve yourself the whole day until like 630? Yeah. Let us know, bro. What's the game plan? What's the strategy? Yeah. Let us know your script.

Did you script out the top 15 things you're about to eat, you know? Yeah. First 15. That's a pretty funny. It might be a sketch. Who knows? We'll see. All right.

Yeah. You know all the things. Watch us every week on YouTube. Subscribe there for a weekly episode and video. video that you can see us and follow along with. Follow us on all your podcast platforms. Benedict Polizzi on social, Joey Molinaro on social.

Tickeys are in the bios for all of our shus. Orlando, February 28. All mine are almost on sale. Green Bay just went on sale. Everything else is official joey mullinero.com coming up in April, May. Cool. Yeah.

Appreciate it. Dwayne Bo. Adam Archelette. Bye-bye. TG 781.