THESE GUYS! - Who's The Guy Version of Taylor Swift

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

On this episode Ben and Joey talk about how emptying your bathroom trash into your kitchen trash is dehumanizing🔔 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCks0zMVeSNG0TJVxWKpjwsw

Green Eddie So hot! Green Eddie's hot I feel like the biggest piece of shit when you jump off sides I just

Don't jump Bro, I was the center in fourth grade On two Because I was too heavy I was the center in fifth grade Yeah Because I had like big hands

I was thinking about that Like isn't it funny Like When you weigh too much You're a striper Isn't it Isn't it kind of like Aren't stripes supposed to be thinning?

Or what do you mean? No, like on the helmet, like the more you weigh, the more stripes you get, it's like Jesus Christ, dude. Then you have like the biggest kid in the gray is the helmet just looked like the Bengals helmet.

You know, isn't it kind of like... I was pretty self-conscious about it. I was like... Totally different helmet than the rest of the team. Now that this 10-year-olds is a complete fast. Jesus Christ, his helmet's just literally black.

Everybody else is white. What's up with that kid? Ah, yeah. He's fat as fuck. 85 pounds overweight. I felt like, I was kind of self-conscious about it growing up. I was like, I never thought about that. I'm too fat to run the ball.

I always thought it was so stupid. And for everyone who didn't play like CYO football, because I don't even know if it's like a Pop Warner thing. You know, that's like what the public school kids played when they were younger. And anybody could run? I think. I don't, I'm not sure. Somebody wants to tell us.

It just doesn't make sense, though, because if you're a mature kid, like, bro, you're owning. Right. And but then you could be too heavy to run the ball, but then you could just be a linebacker lining up to absolutely torpedo this tiny kid. So they're like, yeah, you're too big to run the ball, but hey, go over there and just fucking knock them out.

Yeah, that was fun. It's so dumb. Because you, and then when you, that's so true. And then like, all right, so I'm on offense. I can't run the ball. So I'm like, I cannot wait to kill somebody on. defense. Like, that's my mindset. Just adding, yeah, even more fuel to the fire to this 11-year-old. He's pissed off that he can't run the ball. His girlfriend just broke up with him on AIM.

God, dude. Can't run the ball. See ya. But I was the center, dude. Oh, no. On two, don't jump, all right? Like calling people out. Zach, don't jump. You know how. Andrew, don't jump. Said hut. snapped it. I was like, oh, Fuck, I'm an idiot. Did you guys ever go out of the shotgun in fourth grade?

Maybe a couple times. Like desperation mode. No, not in, I don't even know if we did, bro. No way. Fourth grade.

Every coach and every sport has something that like, when they're really, really pissed off that they just go to to get mad at. So like in baseball, if you're not producing, if your team's down, the coach will just absolutely let the bench have it for like not being up

in the game when they really have no effect on what's going on on the field. Like what would they say? So they just like. Like if I'm on the. So so so let's say you know, you're your third base coach and usually he's like the manager at the time in like high school or whatever and you're in the third base dugout your team is and you're already

down like four to nothing in the second inning. You come out kind of flat and you're just your approach at the plate is just horrible. What do you mean approach? Like the way you walk up there? Really? No, no, I was just going with it. This is great because I don't know shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was just going with it where they're just like, you're not strutting enough. Pump that chest out. No, that's not what it is. Approach is like the mental approach. Oh, okay. Like you're going up there. Are you ready, are you ready to hit your pitch, right?

Are you having a good approach at the plate to where you're not like, okay, you're swinging at shitty pitches or you're letting two go straight down the middle and you're just not ready, right? Like, have a good approach. and so like a baseball yeah dude oh i gone for this so let's say let's do it so let's say i got my dip an hour i got my dip in the car i'll dip you just grab your shit a bunch you're yeah yeah the baseball cast but like the first two guys will just go down like looking right striking out two in a row and if the bench is kind of dead or if he there's like some chatter in the third

inning that's like not about the game all of a sudden it's not about the who's on the field just like Hey, we need to get in it. You guys got to lock in and get in it. This is your job to get up and support these guys. It starts here in the dugout. And you're like, they're the one striking out looking back to back. Yeah. But in football.

What's the dugout to do this shit? Right, right, right. But in football, it's like the coach always get pissed at the center if they weren't, Oh, no. What are we doing? It's be on the same page communicate. We're all out of whack because you're not calling huddle. The sidelines too.

Back up, pass run ball call. Yeah. We're down 45 nothing, dude. Get it clapping. Defense can't even... I don't think a pass-run ball call is going to help at this point. Pass-run ball, dude, that's so... Pass the whole sideline.

Ball! This shit really does help, though. I remember Russell got on like the Broncos for not doing that. Did he really already? Like week two. Oh, man, I miss this. He was like, pass-run call, run-run-up. Or, you know, he was saying that to the Broncos in the NFL.

In the NFL, right? It's like all that stuff ends. at high school, you know? Like eighth grade. Or eighth grade. It would kind of help though. You think about that? If you're like in major league baseball,

you know, the manager's not like looking down being like, hey, we need to get up. Hey, can we, these guys are killing? Can we sing a few chance?

Do you think the guys in the bullpen are like locked in for every fucking pitch? No. Bullpen's just, first five innings for the bullpen is non-existent, I feel like.

And then all of a sudden, it seems like a fun place to hang out. That's what I'm saying. They should name like a bar, the bullpin. Yeah. go there for hours come down here

drink some shit chew some tobacco and spit seeds all over the place I'm like sounds great the bullpen no exactly yeah they're not locked into the fifth inning at best

and then all of a sudden if the there are the pitchers in a shitty situation like the third inning they're panicking oh god what's going on with baseball right now

is it the world series yeah actually it's the Phillies and the Astros I love how the just turned into the worst podcast ever this is these guys

I was like never mind bro talking about baseball I'm not even gonna fucking no but really this is really this is these guys Joey Mulliner I've been Polizzi episode 6 6 6 thanks for being here

on YouTube we gotta get that we gotta get that pop we're gonna get those numbers out those rookie numbers we gotta get it subscribe every Tuesday drops and we're on YouTube

so yeah like we said it's just like your weekly TV show Apple Spotify all that shit watch it live. It is nice to just kind of throw on while you're, you know, doing some shit on your laptop. Throw us on in the background. We're not background music.

No. We're not like... You could study to us though, I think. Oh, you can do anything to us. Do you study the music? No. I hate when people do that. Isn't that wild?

You did that? You didn't do that. You don't... Oh, thank God, bro. I was thinking about this. Like, we don't... We actually don't agree on a lot of shit. I was thinking about that.

I was like, I was talking about this podcast on the espresso podcast. I was like, got a new podcast with Joey called These Guys. And me and him don't really agree on anything. And that's why it's a good podcast. But I thought, I thought maybe for a split second, you were one of the guys that studied music. No. No, no, no, no. You know who always does every girl. Yeah, but like surprisingly a lot more of your friends and a lot of smart ones too. They'd be like, yeah, I just throw on like, you know, a little EDM. A little jazz. There are a few buddies who did like smooth jazz. And that was the closest.

I was like, I guess that kind of, you know, there's no words. Yeah. If you somehow study to music with words. Mr. 305. Like, Jesus Christ, bro. We're on the night. How can you pay attention to those two things? You got to take a quick break. Hey, yeah, it's a good mental reset. After three math problems, you get up, you do a little, you know,

twirl, kind of smack your ass a little bit. We're on the night. I take so many breaks. So many breaks when I study, bro. Did you ever, what was your setup like as a kid? Like was it you come home from school or practice or whatever and your mom or dad or whoever was like, hey, sit right at the table, kitchen table, homework now. Yeah.

Pretty much. My shit was like, I remember just one, we had to memorize a bunch of prayers and stuff. The most Catholic school shit of all time. The longest prayers. Like literally, like, it seemed like Bible verses of prayers. and dude, I wasn't one of those. The one that's like in choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, that one.

It's just, I don't know, bro. I didn't remember him. Still doesn't know the Our Father. That's the only one I know. Jesus Christ. The extra part they had on to the Our Father, though, at the end. I can't tell you what it is. But anyway, anytime I had to study anything,

it was just like I had to pound it. For the glory of the power and the, yeah, I'm always like, why. For the glory of the power and the kingdom are yours now and forever. Yeah, I was always like, damn. That didn't, uh, how about the,

Nicene Crete? Bonus scene. Huh? How about the Nicene Creed? Nicene Creed. That'd be a sick like rapper name. Nicene Creed. Dude.

My family always judged me so hard, because I don't know the Apostles Creed when they go into that and everybody, oh, that one's tough, man. Anyways, go ahead with what you're saying.

Oh, this might be good too, though. Let's just keep going. What is it? Because I'm kind of, I still want to figure out like your homework set up. And at what point were they ever, you know, your folks are ever like, okay, you just are kind of

are on your own. We're not going to tell you to sit down. It was kind of like that. You're on your own. Get your shit done. And then you can go outside and do whatever you want. That was like my after school routine. Get your shit done.

Then you can play outside until like it gets dark. So I'd like try to get as much done as I could in school. None of it was right. I'd get home, try to finish the rest, the stuff I didn't do in school, which was the hardest part. So I'd be like, mom, how do you do this one? And then I try to get done with that. that, then I'd just do shit the rest of the day.

But if I was like memorizing prayers, which was like tough, dude, I would just like walk around my house and just pound it in my head like for hours. Like the whole, I remember a whole Sunday. I was just walking around my dining room, I'm trying to remember literally prayers. Yeah. Meanwhile, I was like, I thought, but I knew like once I even glanced at Brett Farve on TV, I was done for. So I was like, I can't even turn it on, dude.

Can't even turn it on. Man, I was always so jealous of. girls and their study habits. So organized. Colored note cards. I was like, where are you getting the money? Like, bro,

when I go school shopping with my mom, it's one and done. I'm getting all the off-brand shit. I'm getting what I need because we have the list. But like, I'm not splurging with the 64 packet cranes. I'm not crayons,

whatever you call. I'm not like, I'm not getting color-coded, not the little sticky things on top of the pages. I'm not getting gel pin. Like maybe for Christmas if I'm lucky, I'm getting different colored pins.

Laminated, good stocking stuff for two months of Christmas when we record this, by the way. Nice. Laminated binder pages. Who's doing that? And different color coordinated index cards, note cards for your studying. Fire.

You knew, I mean, like, hopefully you sat next to that girl so you could cheat off for a little bit. Yeah, like that girl's getting good grades, even if she's not smart. Because she's, dude, she's got the tools. And not just like pass. I mean, we're talking like 98 plus.

That's it. What do you mean? Like 98%? Never getting anything lower than a 98%. There were always girls that were just like, how are you all, constantly getting A plus and everything. I'm like, damn.

You don't take a day off? I was just so ahead of the game too. Like you had a project that was due like. Note cards next day. Next day or they'd already be like, yeah, I already have like my hypothesis and like the poster board with like the basis layout. I'm like, isn't that funny? I don't think about that until three days before.

Three. That's what you first start thinking about it. My mom was always get a jump on it. Get it started a weeker. I'm like, I don't give a shit about it a week before it's due. I'm like, I got to be last minute, bro. Last minute, Larry. Every parent, dude, with the, with the, you got to get ahead. Have you started that project yet? I know you have a big project coming up. Always know somehow to the teachers like send the lesson plans. Hell no. dude. My parents didn't know shit about school. It's because you were the baby. I was the oldest.

Oh, so you had to kind of keep shit in line. And you were the first one to go through. By the time they got to the third sister, bro, they were just like, get out. I don't even care what you. That's me, bro. I could have woken up and been like, hey, we don't have school today. My mom would have been like, all right, cool. One day, well, I didn't know when school started, bro. One day I went to school before school started.

Like, we had school on Monday or Tuesday that week. I went to St. Barnabas on Monday. And I was like, all right, let's do it. They're like, we don't start until tomorrow. I was like, oh, shit. Well, at least I'm ready. Hey, dude, yeah, we're just getting a jump on it. Get a jump on it, right?

Come on, mom. You can't be pisser. You have to come back and get me. First day of school, bro. Worst. Yeah, that's color coordinated note cards. I did adopt the note. I was actually thinking about this earlier this week.

Planners, how big of a deal planners were and how pissed your parents would get if you didn't use your planner and your teacher too. You didn't write it in your planner. That's why you forgot it. I'm like, who's,

what? I was writing that shit on my hand. My 40 years old, I'm not using it. But then eventually I adopted the planner. I was like, oh, that is helpful.

Yeah. It wasn't bad. In high school, it was kind of hidden. But I was still writing shit down on my arm. I'd get tackled that football pressure. I'd be like, then I look at my arm and be like,

oh, I should I have that quiz tomorrow. That sucks. Coaches would get so shitty about you having writing on your arms or your hands. Coach is so mad about, everything. Like, can we just

kill out? I'm like, I want to go back to some of those coaches now. I'm like, hey, I have half a sleeve

that's permanent kiss my ass. It's all because you didn't want me to write my math problems and what chapters to read on my arm. Coaches just relax.

God. Chill out, coaches. Do you, do you listen to the new Taylor Swift? No. Did you?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Dude, I kind of just wait till songs like get hot. Like, okay, there's 14 songs you got to sift through. And then three are making it to the big leagues. Yeah. So I'm just waiting for those three to kind of separate themselves.

Then I'll listen. It's all relative, though, depending on the artist. Because Taylor Swift, you know, everybody streams the entire thing, the first 30 minutes that it's out, that it's accessible. I've done that one time. Everybody already knows. So then like the first day that it's out, me and I didn't listen to it until like the night that it came out,

not like the midnight, which it's actually called midnight, the album, right night's hard. Yeah. And it came out then. I think like she's dropping all of her music videos and shit at midnight too, which,

ooh, they're already? No, she did like one big one that I just saw on the Today show because I watched it every that says she got jump on it. She did. New podcast name. Get a jump on it.

Our intro jump on. it joke. Jump around. Just a mashup of all those. Slip jump on it. Not even the words. I still liked it. But yeah, like, it's all relative

with the artist. So like by the, by noon the next day that it comes out with Taylor Swift, you already know what the hot ones are because everybody has already told you because they've already listened. They already have like the little stars by them.

Yeah. I like that. Yeah. It's pretty good, man. It's just crazy how. It made me think like, what's the guy version? Who's the guy version of Taylor Swift?

Because every, you know, girls from 15 to 45, whatever, Taylor Swift is like their icon, like their goddess, like they are on Twitter, they're at the release. They are streaming that shit. They're like,

she's healing my soul. This is, this is what I needed. Who is that? Did guys have one, Drake? I was kind of thing, Brett Farm. Dude, if Brett Farr, oh my God, if Brett Farr came out, oh, like, like person or artist?

Well, just person that guys are like, oh, shit. Yeah, I was like, I mean, I, I know neither of us listen to this really at all, but I don't know Joe Rogan. Oh, yeah. He's like every guy's like, oh, you listen to Rogan. Right. I'll do anything he says. Yeah. White guys especially.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Musically, yeah, I guess Drake would probably be the closest thing. That's what I thought you meant, but probably Brett Fav. Dude, if Brett, can we go back to that? Fuck whatever we're talking about. Dude, if Brett Fav went on a country music tour, who's not going, dude? Brett Favreve and Terry Bradshaw. Terry Bradshaw for real did that.

He did. Yeah, he came out with like multiple. Sold out aren't arenas. Peyton Manning's hosted. Peyton Manning, Brett Fav going or on tour? Who's not going? I'd literally buy a truck for that. I didn't sit in the tailgate, just in the, just,

out there in their jerseys bro Peyton manning you split far of manning somehow Peyton manning's hosted the CMAs he is yeah country can't lose bro Peyton man go on tour god he he should I mean that's what's insane and like I was talking about this with the ride because you know how there's sometimes like those sports icons that once they retire you kind of don't really hear from them anymore that much. You know, they kind of just like go do their thing and kind of get out of line. You would think Peyton Manning would be one of those guys. Dude, the exact opposite.

And I've never been a Colts fan that's well documented, but I'm so glad that he's not. Like Peyton Manning is just good for it. Maybe it's Peyton Manning. Such a relief. The guys were, maybe it's, maybe it's fucking Peyton Manning. Just doing all that stuff? What do you mean? No, I meant like the guy's version of Taylor Swift.

Oh, he is like a very relatable dude. Just like whatever. Just your old. Cool. I think like... I think maybe only people in Boston like really can't stand Peyton Manning. But deep down they like them.

Right. It's getting to the point where we're past that. You know, when there's things that happen, like, I can't joke about that for like a year or five years. But once it reaches a point, you're like, ah, okay, that's a fair game. I think Peyton Manning's fair game. I used to hate Shaq.

Oh, yeah. When he played for the... I was like, oh my God. Couldn't stop them. I can't with Shaq. Like, I hated him, dude. Yeah, he beat us in the finals. I would go to bed mad.

Like, fuck Shaq. Like, I hate it, dude. I would rip my fucking, oh. And then, like, I don't know, just a few. Then I was like, I love Shaq, dude. Oh, yeah. Love Shaq. Baby, love Shaq.

God, what a song, man. I can't hear you. Great wedding song. But, yeah, that's kind of the same thing. He's passed. He's past the, he's fair game. anybody. They can't look over that now. Some people can't though. You know, so you know, people are.

It's the same way with like Colts fans and Tom Brady. I'm like still? We're still like, oh, not Brady. Shut up. Not Brady. He's a cheater. If you care that much, dude, that's every guy at every Colts game. It's so funny. Every guy at every Colts game. I sat by this guy last Colts or last cold. Well, they were playing the Patriots or some shit like last season. Dude, the whole anytime the Patriots did anything good.

Cheaters. cheater. Like looking around like, right? I was like, dude, go home. You know what's hilarious to me is the guys in the stands who like turn and try to think that they're impacting the other fans around them. Get up. Come on.

Let's get loud. Like people are looking at that guy. Like, yeah, you know what? You're right. That guy, he has it right. Let's get up. Dude. You just know by the feel of the game.

When you're in a bad mood and your team's losing and that guy's doing that shit, you're like, sit the fuck. Dude, shut the, shut up. But then when your team's winning, you're like, you know, that guy though. Yeah, it kind of started when he did that. Like, if he started the wave right now, like, I would. Dude, your dad having to do the wave. Never, never. Just sitting.

The other day, I was like, how many Colts games you've been, has season tickets? How many Colts games you've been to this? this year he goes, haven't been to one. Just two empty seats every game. He's like, I like my seats, but it's the people around there.

Like, what am I supposed to high five? Yeah. It is kind of like a cutthroat section where his seats are. It's like die hard Colts fans. Oh, perfect.

So I'll bring my terrible towel in there next month. People are going to love it. We're dressing up as the biggest Steelers fans and walking up in the half yellow, half black, dude. I swear to God.

I just want to get one of those masks. That's like the Jabba Waki mask, but it's half black, half yellow. Just wear that. That'd be great. I'm already thinking the YouTube title. We got in a fight with Colts fans.

The thumbnail. Black and yelled out. No, you're like kind of punching me. Can't wait. Thumbails. How big is the size of your trash can in your bathroom? I actually took like an office trash can that was someone else's and used it. And now I use it as my bathroom trash can.

So it's a little bigger than normal. I like, I know what you're about to say and I like it. Bro, I just, I had a moment last night where I was just, you know, I'm getting ready for bed. I think like maybe a toothpaste bottle was out. so I had to toss that. Then, you know, clean on my ears or something, toss that, right?

Yeah. I had to blow them on. I mean, you know, you're getting ready for a couple things. There's a lot of shit gone on yet. The floss things. It's not the floss, but the little picks that you can,

right. Don't miss with those. Sure. Horrible look against your wall. Two floss picks and a cute tip. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Is this a frat house?

Bro, you go and you throw it away and you look in that, that bathroom trash can is always, always the littlest, most bitch trash can. And you have to throw all your shit away in there every single night. I'm like, what do we, can we get just some fucking normal size trash can? So funny.

Do when people throw like stuff in the bathroom trash that doesn't belong in the bathroom trash? Like you ever walk into your bathroom after you have some people over something? There's like a beer can in your bathroom. I'm like, what the hell's going on in here? Who was it in here? What are you doing? But right, you throw so much shit away. And like you said, you tweeted it's the size.

of like a souvenir cup in an NFL game. Dude, it's literally like a biggie drink. Yeah. You go to Lucas Oil for a cold scam. You like get the souvenir cup

because it can double as a trash can in your fucking bathroom. My bedroom trash can. Disgusting. Yeah. It's the size of... That's what I was talking about when I asked.

You got the little tiny one, that's the one in my bed. My bathroom one, I don't know for some reason I like have a bigger one. I don't know why. But it's disgusting. But the one of my room is tiny, bro.

And you never. One thing and it's, okay, time to empty it out. Every day. Bro, never have a, you only have like the little tiny Kroger bag that's like the trash bag in it. I hate that. I don't even fucking do it anymore because I hated it so much growing up. Right.

It was like that. Everybody's house too. Kroger bag. You got to tie it in a knot and take it out. There's fucking one Q-tip and one razor blade in it. I'm like, this is such a waste of time. now it was always what you did is when it was time to take the trash out you would have the normal size trash can or two that were in your kitchen right downstairs so then you you know

dad would be like hey come on trash day you got to take the trash out let's go get the trash out you're like all right did you get the one upstairs damn it you have to take the trash bag out of the normal size one go up in the big trash bag you know try to open up the trash bag get the tiny little souvenir cup one that's overflowing so much with everything from the bathroom. You got to suction it with your hands and do this

with the small trash can and the big trash bag and you're seeing everything coming out of the bathroom trash can and you're like this is disgusting! And then you get done

fucking tampon just hard. Right, we grow up up in a house and two sisters and shit disgusting shit on toilet snot. Yeah, oh dude,

yeah, snoddy fucking Kleenex and everything. But every time you get done with a trash can after your 16 shakes, you're like,

all right, I think we're good. Open to look at it. Nothing out of it. Still got half the trash cake down in there. Band-Aids sticking it all together. I'm like, oh. Dude, yeah.

Then you got to, you got, oh, oh, bro. Oh, my God. Dude, like a bandage that you, like, ripped off after a football practice from like two years ago is at the bottom still stuck on there. It's like a World War II Gauze pad. You're like, oh. Because when you throw shit or shit in away And like the bathroom trash can You think it's never going to see the light of day

Yeah Yeah, you're like, oh, get this off of me. It's just embarrassing. Bathroom trash can. No big deal. Hell. Guests aren't coming up here. Bathroom.

That's a chore, bro. If you're taking out that bathroom trash in unclogging your shower drain when you live with women. You have a bit about that, don't you? Yeah, it's the only thing I think about. You could have sworn I remember. Just, fuck.

Dude, I never had to do that. I never had to do that. But I believe it. I paid one of my friends one time. My mom was like, you got to unclog the shower drain. And I was like, oh, my, I literally paid one of my friends. I was like, I'll buy you food on the way home tomorrow. If you unclog my shower drain.

Just, you're always a magician. You at least give him gloves or anything? I was like, you take care of it. Literally out of outsource the chore. Hell yeah, dude. Only outsource that I want to do. Right there. Bro.

You ever get like, you know, I mean, I'm sure you have because you grew up with sisters just like I did. And now I'm married. But like you, your sister or now your girlfriend or wife or whatever, you know, takes a shower or two before you. Not to. That doesn't make sense. But I'm just saying like they use the shower. They shower before you. And then you get out.

And then you open up the curtain or whatever. and you look down and there's just like a creature of hair that's just in the corner. The nest? The nest of hair that's in the corner. Why? And you're like, oh, I don't know. Just stay over there. Hopefully he doesn't move.

Dude, it bugs this shit. A literal nest in the corner. Like, oh. Like, how could you forget about that? Imagine making a nest out of your hair putting in the shower and just be like, and getting out of the shower. Dude, when people leave, When people leave their nasty, like, clothes behind the door in the bathroom, I'm like, how'd you forget? Shorts are like inside out on the ground. You can just see the whole, like, crotch of shorts.

You're like, uh, the underwear that's kind of like, she'd thrown that away four years ago, but I have the same pair staring at me right now. That's kind of like, uh, what's, what's going on here? Some tracks on the train there and go, what's going on? Doug's been through those, huh? Dude, dogs and underwear. so gross. Dogs and everything, man. I love my dog so much, but he's such an idiot, man. That's why his dogs are perfect. They really are. But I mean, there's nothing. The truest thing I've ever said, and it's hit big time at the at the in-laws. They weren't the in-laws yet.

They were just the girlfriend's parents. Whoa. Big moment. Yeah. I didn't even remember how it was just, you know, how you kind of get joking about, you know, her mom. is kind of like, oh, well, he talking about her husband does this and this. And I just can't send you like, yeah, everybody's kind of laughing, right? And I'm just like, you know what? I figured it out. Me and Rye are like, she is like a cat, a sophisticated, fancy, sassy black cat. And I'm just like a golden doodle golden retriever puppy.

And that is the truest thing ever. I think that could probably for most relationships, you got just the, the cat that has it all together that's just like prancing around and just like takes care of their own shit minds their own business, you know, doesn't eat random things,

doesn't shit on the floor and then you have the puppy that's just running wild, bro, hitting himself into the wall just like getting up and moving on, you know? All cats are girls, all dogs are guys.

Yeah, that's really what it was. Like you have a, you have a boy cat. I'm like, no, it's not. It doesn't make any sense. Every time I come to your house, I'm like,

that can't be a dude. Yeah, Remy's essentially a dog. Oh, yeah, that is nice. Every once in a while, like one out of 20 cats

is like a kind of a dog a little bit. It's like, chilling. Oh, yeah. You're like, roll over.

Seriously. Shake. Like, you know, throw it around a little bit, like he's not going to, like, claw you or anything,

you know, or like, do that, none of that. Is there like a breed or is it just, is it just literally random? I don't know. Not as up to date on,

on cats. Yeah, cots. I love cots. Cots. That was always like, I feel like there's a progression from what I remember growing up from like middle school. From like grade school to middle school to high school girls that you grew up going to school with. Like grade school, I loved horses, you know. AIM name was like horse chick 72.

Too much. Like imagine like a horse that. Yeah, right? Middle school. It switched to. something. I love your burpy boy. Whoa.

Middle school. Hold on. First burpee boy. I mean, like I'm always the burpee boy. I think that might be your first burpee boy ever right there. Dr. drinking a lot of sparkling water. I saw you bring that in.

I was wild. Can't drink normal water. Sitting like a cat right now. But grade school was like horse chick 72. Then middle school. It's like starting to get into high school name. Rebel girl. Well,

well, but like the animal progression. So it was like the horses in grade school. But then it got to be. like kind of, you know, kind of a weird like penguin. Giraff. Yeah.

Right. Elephant. And then by the time they get to high school, it was just like, I just want my cat and my coffee. And then that's it. From that on. Goes like horse to like corky kind of fun,

random thing that they'll never have, you know, like a penguin or like you said, like a giraffe or a koala. A koala. And then and then it's just the cat. Cats. You ride out the cat. Ride out the cat.

And that's the beginning. of the evolution of like, you know, the crazy cat lady, the cat aunt. Everybody's got a cat aunt. You know, that has two or three of them. Do I? I don't know if I do. But, uh... You wouldn't know.

Do you? Yeah. You wouldn't know. I like these pants, man. Thanks, bro. Are these the cargoes? These are the camo cargoes in the back? Yeah.

With a little jogger right here, a little elastic? Once, I had an option not to wear jeans. Wow. I'm all over it. Hell yeah, dude. It's every day now. Sick. Why would I wear jeans?

Love it. This will come out after Halloween. Well, yeah, after Halloween. But still. Good a little Halloween recap. Still spooky season. So spooky season a little bit. What are you doing this year?

Just this classic buddy. You got a party on Saturday night. I mean, this is like when Halloween's on a Monday, it's a pretty rip-roaring weekend. Yeah. 27th, 28th. Hell even 29th. That's good.

Yeah. Thursday, dude, it's Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday is all Halloween this year. And you don't have to worry about the post. You don't have to worry about the November Halloween that we talked about a few shows ago. So annoying.

You gone as anything? I don't have a Halloween plan. I don't. The guys are trying to get me to go out to Chicago, F boys. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't know if, I don't know, we'll see. B-Day's Thursday. That's right.

Everybody thought it was last weekend. Yeah, what was the deal with that? Sick of people saying happy belated birthday. So you got ahead. of it. Yeah. You jump the birthday. So I said, all right, my, yeah. You got to jump on it. Yeah, I got a jump on it. Nice. I said my birthday is a week earlier. So everybody's now, people are saying happy belated birthday. I'm like, guess what? You're early. Sure fire away with no belated birthday. Hey. Wow. I figured it out. So did you, what did you do? Did you change it on Facebook? Could you post something? I thought. Okay. So my mom came down or came up, wherever the hell she's from now.

came here with her sisters, and it was her birthday on the 12th. So we kind of had like a, huh? Didn't get to ask about the cats. All sisters were there. He didn't get to missed opportunity. It's okay. Yeah, I could. I don't think any of them are, though.

But my mom's birthday was on the 12th, so we had like a kind of a joint, like, all right, we'll meet in the middle here. Your birthday's coming up. I was already my birthday. I was already my birthday. I was celebrating both our birthday. So we went to like a Mexican restaurant. And someone was talking.

about birthdays as we were on the table and the server just brought us like a plate of like they do churros at the Mexican red with caramel all over them powder sugar and on the plate it said happy birthday so we kind of took a little pick and I posted it and so everybody was like oh bro it's your birthday and I was just like yeah it is you got the panic birthday so so a bunch of people were like oh my god and they like spread around in a group chat and people just started like sending me stuff and I just started reposting wow like it's you you take the panic birthday text you take the group birthday celebration which is like rolled with it which is so much of just what you do when you get older right everybody's just

saying that we're not doing we're not doing the weekend every individual one we're august birthdays boom you get everybody gets one little thing that they like what's your what's your what's your what's your menu item that you want bacon cheeseburger bacon bacon cheeseburger let's go what do you want good you just have a smorgs more good you just have a smorg board of just like fucking lasagna, bacon, mac and cheeseburger, cookies for dessert. Everybody gets their one thing. There you go. Birthdays.

I've got no plan for the birthday. And that's what I think is the best. Sounds like whenever you have an Instagram story of you in Chicago. I can't, dude. I can't do it, dude. Too many F-boy parties for me. I can't do it. Your burnout?

It's just not good. It's so good that is, I just got to stop. Yeah. you're big on that. You don't want to... Stop while you're ahead. Yeah. You can jump on it.

Get a jump on stopping, bro. But if you were going to, are you going to do anything? You got any costume picked out in mind? I would be the Dr. Pepper guy, but I'm like, do I want to... That's a lot of commitment, man. That's what I'm saying.

I'm like, is there anything else I can do with this? Can I make like a YouTube video out of this? But... Hey, you know what? Sometimes you just need to just do things, you know? think? Sometimes you just need to go to a Halloween party and just fucking go to a Halloween party. I don't think it's possible.

Why? I don't know. I felt like I'd be kind of miserable. You came to the Christmas party last year and you had a great time. It was great. Wait, was that last year? Yeah. At my age.

Your old crib. Yeah. The dude, that apartment. I see you had a great time. You don't have to do it all the time. Just, you know. Yeah, you're right. But probably not.

See, we had a really good, this was a, this is, it was kind of a bummer, but at the same time, it was a very, very refreshing, you know, because so much thought and creativity and like originality now has to go into the Halloween costume for so many people, right? It's like, you don't want to just buy something Taylor made or what, you know, go, you want to be like the one that's like, oh, ha, ha, ha, you know. But with, with the. baby boy, me and Ryan. Me and I are both just like,

we're not, we don't want to think about it. We want to just literally say at Saturday at 7 o'clock, we're throwing on this already made costume and we're going. Oh, so you're picking up, like you bought a costume from a store. Spirit Halloween.

What is it? Dude, Spirit Halloween is just blow. I love it. It's so much fun. The marketing behind it. Dude. The memes, Spirit Halloween is killing.

They're crushing the game. Dude, I never wanted to leave when we were there last week buying Arcosas. So much fun. The masks, they have absolutely just gone berserk on the masks. The mask wall in the back, just in the bag, because it's like your kid's going to get scared if he comes back here. It almost needs like a security guard. I'm getting kind of scared, you know? Dude, I got, I have it on my phone, dude.

There's a mask that looks like a giant bunny and it's terrifying. flying bro. Here, look this. Is that the scariest shit you've ever seen? That seems like right up your alley. Easter bunny. I wanted it so bad. Get it just for Easter. Happy Easter. That's what I'm saying. Dude, that's what I think of when I think of the Easter bunny. I'm a little bit scared of Easter. But Spirit Halloween is so much fun, man. It really is. And the masks

have really come a long, long way. You know? It used to just be like they'd have a little miniature wall with like Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Richard Nixon masks. That's so funny. Do they have a lot of those now? They're kind of Dude, they have a full ass, well, they have everybody. Every president. Every political person. Dude, they had like eight Star Wars masks that were like movie quality.

It was insane. They have the Michael Myers mask up front. They have like four. I saw, I went there three days ago. They have the screen mask that bleeds. Yeah. I was like, oh, ha, ha, ha, almost started tearing up. And I was like, thank you.

Insane, man. Absolutely insane. So just hats off the spirit of Halloween. Masks off. I wish it was open. in year round, really. You know? Like it takes...

That's why it's so good. I know. It would take away some of it, but at the same time, like, man, you're having a blast going into Spirit Halloween. So fired.

They've got that whole rack of limbs. Yeah. Like a bag of two feet that are severed. I was like, oh, the things I would do. Every time I walk in there,

I'm like, should I? Dude, because just putting that anywhere in your house, that's the funnest thing of all time, dude, under a pile of fucking laundry.

next to the trash can of the bathroom. Yeah, put it in the trash can in the bathroom dumping it in the big bag. Oh, okay.

Kind of funny. Dude, one time I bought like a rat from Spirit Halloween, put it on the floor in the shower. Just wait, just the look in my eyes

just waiting for chiller to take a shower, bro. I've never been happier, dude. I've done that to probably four people ex-girlfriend right in the shower,

dude. Hits. I'm like, Hence the X. Yeah. I'm doing that kind of shit. You want to date me? I'm fucking you up with rats.

How do I break up in the closet? How do I break up with Trish? Well, get a fake rat and put in the shower. We can go to Spirit Halloween right now. She'll leave your ass pretty fucking quick right there. That. I don't know, bro. That shit was next.

I thought, oh my God. It was so fun. Dude, that's awesome. Spirit Halloween, better than any Christmas store. I don't know if there's that many, like, you know, everything is kind of a Christmas store. I hate the Christmas store that's all around. What's it called?

It's right. It's not what it's called. Shut the fuck up. But it's what it's called. And I'm like, get out the whole year? Bro, it's not even. And you walk in there on December 24th. There's barely any Christmas shit.

That's what I'm saying. It's not even really Christmas place. You guys sell shick shaving cream in here? Yeah. The Christmas store. Hobby Lobby's more of a Christmas store than the Christmas tree shop. Very underrated store. Hobby Lobby is a lot of fun.

Michael's a lot of fun. this is all just growing up in a household full of females, though, I feel like. Michaels, dude. I feel like there's a lot of dudes out there. You're going to listen to. Fuck that. There's always a bunch of coupon. Dude,

you ever need something at Michaels? Oh, yeah. Go online and type in Michael's coupons. You can get buy one, get one for you. Yeah. That's a hack.

If you're feeling... It's a sister hack. If you're feeling crafty. You need some poster boards? Uh-huh. Need some blank t-shirts? You want to get a jump on your school project? Yeah, you want some...

Michael. Really? You want some like high roller markers, bro? Get a jump on it. Bro, yeah, we're going, but we're just, we just made it simple. She's going as Velma. I'm going as Fred from Scooby-Doo. Yeah, you're a key. You could kill Fred. And right. That orange scarf. Yeah, and Rye kills Velma. Oh, yeah, the GLAT. Perfect. She kills Velma. And like, it's kind of funny though, because it's like, in Fred and Daphne, aren't they the ones kind of together? You think, yeah, fuck that. I'm like, Fred's like the jock and Velma's the nerdy kind of weird chick from study. Hall that they always wanted to be together. But yeah.

So that's me and right. Daphne was kind of always in the way. Very hot though. Yeah. You know, you're just like, damn. Yeah.

Makes sense Fred and Daphne, but you're kind of pulling for Fred and Velma. Velma's been on the, the upswing recently. Velma's, yeah, Velma's the chick that, you know,

they'll let the hair down chick, right? Girl next door. Yeah, takes the glasses off, lets the hair down. You're like, Velma?

In the movie? Like, that's what would happen. Yeah. Vilma. Velma, as she gets older, she's trending upward, you know? Yeah, for sure. The girl that freshman year.

You're like, I don't know. Senior year? Well, I think I'm in love with you. All right, Velma. Bro, I was thinking about it, too. Like, we're really, because last night I went and I just got one of those cravings that I know you get where you just, give me some sour, just like gummy candy. Wow. You want to see here.

Gas station run? Now I went to CVS. Oh, shit. Wait. That one by your, by your house? That CVS is dangerous, bro. 24 hours. Yep.

Brough. I've been there down bad at 2 a.m. Just buying Jack's pizza. Ice coffee in the glass bottle, Starbucks. Kind of have a nice little market, you know? It's open. It's the only thing in the city that's open 24 hours. I swear to God.

You get a Jack's pizza or like a club sandwich and like an ice cream snickers bar. Let's go. Exactly. Two for eight. on the giant bags of candy. Anyways, I was looking at the candy wall and I was like, we're really in the golden age of candy. What do you mean?

Like, think back to when we were trick or treating and stuff and it was like you were 12 years old. The kind of things where you'd be like, man, these Skittles are awesome. But wouldn't it be cool? Or these Jolly Rangers are great, but wouldn't it be sweet if they had like a chewy version of a sour Jolly Rancher?

Yeah, they really have all that shit now. have all of it. But you're thinking, what, what were they doing back when we were 12? I mean, it's just like anything else, dude. It's like,

you know, we're all just on. Stick to it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. We didn't have flip phone. Or maybe we had a flip phone or whatever. Like,

you had dial up internet and all of a sudden, everybody has iPhones and it's, you know, shit's popping. Same stuff with candy. Technology, you know, the evolution of candy. I remember when gummy lifesavers came out.

It was like, dude. And then they made those sour two? Shit! You know, you know, it's really, They have every version of Starburst and Minnie.

They have mini. They have favorites. They have all pinks. How did Minnie get better than king size? That's true. Like you want the mini. So crazy. King size candy bar for Halloween.

Now I'm like, I want the smallest goddamn snickers ever. But I want 34 of them. Give me a bag of the Reese's peanut butter cups that... The white ones. Yeah. Ooh. It's insane, man.

It's like, it's truly like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory came to where they're just like making all the fun shit. It's nuts. We've got 10. You know, it's, uh, yeah. You know, it's kind of been like a sleeper. That's kind of like recently has been really like popular. Maybe I just missed,

missed the whole thing, but just regular gummy bears. Yeah. But they have sour gummy bears too now. So good. Bro. It's insane. And, you know, it's like, I was a big truly bright crawler kid.

Yeah. For sure. The eggs? The pack. The black trolley. I was like, oh, that goes hard. You know? On a road trip?

I'm like, I don't even know if I deserve this. Doesn't even like the candy buys it for the package. All black, bro? Oh, shit. Sour Patch kids. And you know, it's like you still go back to the roots, you know? I go back to the original Skittles. You go back to the regular Reese's cup.

You've always been Skittles Lord, bro. Yeah. You go back to, you know, Kit Katz. Those aren't going anywhere, right? But it's just the fact that, like I said, back on like 06, 03, when you're like 11, 12 years old or whatever, you're going trigger, treat, and you're like, man, you want to be sick

if they did some sort of crazy combination. How many times did you look at your friends? You're like, bro, can you just get the all reds or the all pinks of Starburst, have all of them? All blues of the Sour Patch kids, have it. The all pinks, when they did that, I was kind of like, you're just showing your hand like that, you know what I mean? like, hey, whoa, can we walk it back a few steps? Starburst? Like, we're just really just putting it

out there. Okay. Yeah, there it is. But then once you have all pink, now you start to be like, I want all the other ones. I could use a yellow. Yellow could be nice. But then when you have all the colors, you're like, what are we doing with yellow? Yeah. Yellow. Hey, you always want what you don't have. Yeah. All right. So Ben's going to be in Chicago this weekend. And I'm going to be Fred. And what's Frank what's Frankie being Scooby. But he's not going to the party. He'll do it on actually Monday he's going to be

on Monday his mom got him a pumpkin outfit so like he's like going to be it's really fucking cute and awesome. Same picks bro. Yeah definitely will but he's going to have a little Scooby thing when his mom and dad are Fred and Velma can't wait. Didn't know if he's going to be Scooby or Scrappy. Oh wow.

Scrappy was really annoying to me in the cartoons. Every time Scrappy was there I was like oh here we go it's a fucking Scrappy show now. Scrappy had Little Man syndrome. It's like, okay, dude, we get it. Shut up. Scooby. It's called Scooby-Doo, man. All right. Scooby-do, the hard work.

All right. Let him do the heavy lifting. And you just fucking sit there and come in every once. Scrappy was always running the show, bro. A little fast as shit. I was like, oh. Why does he always, like, buff? He always had a big ass chest. I hate him.

I was like, what? What gym is Scrappy hitting? He was so hyper. Yeah. Scooby was just your big, dumb fucking. He's happy is what he was. He's my dog. Literally my dog.

Yeah, so Ben will be in Chicago And I'll be doing that And this is these guys Available on YouTube Give us to subscribe man We're here We do it once a week It's just an hour long

Of us just doing this Joking around shooting the shit Having fun So find us on YouTube Apple Stitcher Spotify Wherever you get your pods Leave a rating and review Yeah please do

And because you know We Our video Our videos always go stupid When we do Johnson and Shmitty Right and they go crazy and everybody loves them. So that's just Johnson and Schmitty,

but just having a conversation about, you know, getting to jump on homework. Shit like this. Exactly. These guys. Hey, we need some merch too. We'll talk about it next time. All right, cool.

All right, show. Peace. Happy Halloween. Bear of me, boy. Whoa.