THESE GUYS! - Yada Yada Yada

Episode Date: February 21, 2023

On this episode the boys discuss the time Joey punched a hole in the wall🔺 Watch on YouTube https://youtu.be/xxQ75QbyHHY🧢 These Guys Merch https://benedictmerch.com/products/unisex-premium-sweatshirt-1

On Friday, someone jumping down the street for joy. Hey, Monday. Shut up! Anytime I make any noise, any movement. Yeah, I've been doing basically just, you know, you never understood when I was younger, whenever I'd have like a mic'd up segment or, you know, hear people, a training camp of in the NFL, like, working. out and they would be like constantly making noises.

I never got that until I got older. Mic'd up adult. Getting out of your car. Dude, if I hit a bump in the road, I'm like, so weird. It's just, it's involuntary. So now I understand when a guy is like, you know, snapping off the ball, trying to get out of a break,

trying to beat press coverage or linemen are just trying to push out. You know, like I understand why they're like, I think it's a little too much. Yeah, yeah, right, yeah. I'm like, all that? When they're like basically doing that, what's that song? We just want to rock.

I just want to rock. I just want to rock. That's all that song is. Is some guy going through a ladder? Barida, I just want to rock. Whenever you're doing that, then it gets to a point.

But yeah. There's a lot going on. I'm like, is he running a route like with a, like a choker around his neck? and rap turns around. There's a knife in his back. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, it's always so funny.

I can hear and feel the pain when it's like a 33-year-old white tight end. You know that all of his joints are just totally killing. I hate when you can start seeing that an athlete. He's fighting through everything, so he has to make those noises. Dirk Nowitzky, dude. On the Mavs, like his last two years,

he was still like killing, but I was like, bro, he is best. begging to retire. He would always have that fadeaway jumper off the foot. I didn't like it though because that was like his, it's his signature shot, but I was like, that's his like I can't go down low anymore.

Like I can't bang inside. Like, fuck it. I'm doing this now. He always did that shit though. When he like he always was doing the fade away, even when he was in his prime. It was like his, that was his thing.

I know. But later on I was just like, that's all he's doing now. Gronk. Gronk's like one of those rare guys. I feel like from the, time that he came into the league. I was like, that hurts you, doesn't it? Yeah. Bro, he was insane. He didn't give a shit. Dude, people would just be like ripping his pants off and shit during

a play and he would just still run. I saw Gronk's ass like 19 times. Watching him play football physically hurt my joints. I was watching him. No wonder. Dang, man. No wonder he was taking everything to the house, bro. Everybody was like, you're too reckless. Like, every DB is like, you're too much, bro. Go ahead. The fact that he lasted as long as he did, I mean, by, yeah, you said, you said, Dirk, like, his last two years, gronk, I'd say, like, his last six years. He played, like, 10 years of league, the last six years. Like, man, you definitely need some inserts in those shoes.

He's got, like, both the, uh, like the J.J. Watt arm braces on. Literally. I'm like, how is that allowed? You, he just was shin splints. Shin splints were a person. He's grunk. 100% if a bruised tailbone

was a person you know when you bruise your tailbone you're like fuck but I gotta still do everything so inconvenient yeah just knee bone

on knee bone whatever that thing that separates the knee bones and the joints that is supposed to like cushion it is Nicola now

fired up fire up that home row boy I thought it just happened to him now we're gonna have to suffer through him hey is he's cartilage

is that what it is? Oh fuck what am I looking up I was clipping something I don't know. I don't even know how to... I don't know.

What separates your knee bones? Oh, cartilage, meniscus. I can tell you that. Okay. There you go. Granc never had a meniscus. Never had to worry about Taryn one because he never had it.

Oh, gosh, the spelling. Yeah. Here we go. Hey, let's just have him spell shit all episode. Can they see this? We got to start putting his shit on. This is amazing. You killed that though.

You crushed that. That was good. But let's just speed it up just a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Put that shit on like three times speed next time. I got you. Brunk is just knee bones. Just knee bones.

I wasn't going to say anything. But I like the show because we always, we don't let anything. We don't let anything slide, dude. No. Like if I say a word weird, you're like, bro, what you? That's my favorite kind of show.

I mean, that's, that's just my family, probably your family to it to you, dude. No, that's me and my dad and me being like, why did you say it like that? And him being like, shut the hell up. That's why. Does he return it? Does he give it back to you though? Like if you actually said knee boons instead knee bones, would he be like,

dude, it sometimes no. And I'm like, you should, though. You should. It's all fun in games. Nothing. I mean, I'm going to look directly and nothing slides with my family. Under the radar. Even if you, if you've been around my family more than three times.

I think that's the limit. First three times, you know, we'll kind of look at each other, maybe give a little, right, and we'll let it slide. After the three time mark,

if you're around us and you accidentally say like, Thanksgiving instead of Thanksgiving, it's over. I fucking hate that shit, dude. Oh, it's over, dude. Danks.

Thanksgiving, did you say? Oh! Not Thanksgiving. You're inducted into the Stroke Hall of Fame at your house? Stroke. Hall of Fame and then words they got wrong.

Oh, that's the only reason I want to have a family and buy a house now. For stroke Hall of Fame room. It's pretty fun, dude. It's really fun. Man, and everybody, like, no, but I said like when you put the emphasis on the wrong part, instead of Thanksgiving, they say Thanksgiving.

Oh, fuck off. See, that inductee. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. First ballot Hall of Famer. Nobody's safe, man. That's good. When Frank's like two, he wanted to be safe. That's fire, though, because then you don't mess up words. like you're a great public speaker coming out of your family, bro. My sister and my brother and all for sure won't let anybody.

And my mom, she's the worst because she won't let anybody, but she's the exact kind of person where she won't let anybody, but she fucks up so much. And then as soon as you call her out on it by like the second time, she's just like, no, get everybody fuck off. Get so flustered.

You got to be able to take the heat, man. Shut up, Greg. Fuck off. It's great. I love that game. It is. Game ever. Stroke meter.

Did you have a stroke or not? You always do. You can never like backpedal your way out of a stroke, you know? Did he just say? I'll go dyslexic on him, dude. Dude, I remember one time I saw you, or you did a video or you tweeted something about how like you hate when people are like, and then they start over.

Oh my God. Why? Why do you hate that? It's like a natural reaction sometimes. I know, but it's so funny. Like when you're, you're reading in class grown up and you fuck up a sentence and you're like, and you say the word,

like say you said like grass sopper instead of grass hopper. You're like grasshopper. Grasshopper. And then you read her like, you have to say it twice. So everybody's like confirmed I'm an idiot. Just so you guys know. And let's do it one more time.

That's just a natural reaction. That whatever you're speaking like that and like you're kind of you, you're, you're, it's, blah, all right. I mean to say, I can't.

I'm just sorry. Let me gather my son of it off. What I meant to say. Okay, let me start over. Let me start over. And when somebody, I hate this so much, bro, when somebody's trying to explain something

and there's like a backstory and they go, yeah, and then he went there and yada, yada, yada. I'm like, you mentioned you don't like the yada, yada yada. It makes my whole entire face turn inside out

when people say that. Sometimes you need a little, sometimes it calls for it. I think, I think it's, because a lot of times people don't want to hear the entire backstory. Oh, no, no, no, you just don't even, you just cut to the chase. Just no yadas. But what, what's the transition piece, though? Because you're like, so this one time, my brother, he went and did this thing.

And then, like, how do you cut to the chase from that? I think he's just go right. And then. Hmm. But I think the yada, yada, yada is it like, people pick up on it. They're like, okay, it's kind of like a waving a flag to. you was like, hey, I know you don't give a shit about this, but I'm telling you there's more of the story. I know you don't care. So I'm doing you a favor here. I'm throwing you a yada,

yada, yada. It's just, no, I get it, but it's just the word yada. What the fuck is yada, bro? I have respect. I'll respect to the yada yada yada yada is out there, but who's who came up with that? Okay, who's the yada god? Should we turn to home row cola? Why do people say yada, yada, yada? How's it going to spell? I just want to know how many people have searched for the... Oh, I was going Y-I-D-A. He's going to way T-A. Yeah, I think, I mean...

Is it an acronym? Yada has a past tense of Yaru to do. So when you hear someone shout, nah, that's not what we're looking for. I think it's D. I think it's D. And I think it's, I definitely know that just because of the Seinfeld episode

and the subtitle. Oh, an inkleside got in there somehow. I'm just going to pretend that it never happened. I'm embarrassed. You just had a stroke on the keyboard, dude. An equal sign? That's crazy, dude. I haven't seen an equal sign in like four months.

Foski's triumph. Oh, damn. Okay, so this guy, Lenny Bruce originated it. I don't know. I think Yada is just like... And then you got... A disparaging response

indicating that something previously said was predictable, repetitive, or tedious. Okay, repetitive tedious. That sums it up. Origin stories. Yada. Name your kid Yada. It repeats everything. Oh, that'd be a funny.

It'd be a funny name for like a character. Yada. Yada. Someone says everything twice. The origin, no. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Oh, there it goes. Yada. He didn't say everything twice. He just tells all of the minute details that nobody gives a fuck about. Here comes yada. So I was driving into work the other day. You're never going to believe this. I was driving into work the other day. And on the way, I saw a billboard that I, I, I, I, I was like, what in the heck is going on with that?

And it kind of made me almost want to turn over and get on the side of the road. So I'd get a better look at it. But then I said, no, I got someone to be. So then like everything he does is just. Yada shut the fuck up. Get to the point. That's how that.

Oh, that character would be. That character would be mine. Or you just hit him with a little LSS. Long story short. Every time though. Every time. It's a long story. Sure. I'm going to give you the longest

story. A story. Or, that was a what is it? It's popular over Zoom. Oh, no.

That was a long-winded way to say. That was a long-winded way to say, yeah, I'm interested. So I got a message the other day for my sister. Yeah.

She said, uh, Ben popped up on my Snapchat. I was like, okay what you guys snapping what's going on who's like

now with mattress mattress firm yeah nice dude yeah bro I'm a sell out I get the bag I get the I get the bag

I get the I get the hardest commercial I've ever done in my life good good stuff though right good mattresses no idea but What I hear, very good things. That's good.

I've had the same mattress since I was 12. Yeah. Literally. Same size, same everything. Hi. Hello. Wow. What?

So Friday of her? I know. Imagine on Monday somebody doing that. You just want to fucking kick him off a ledge. Oh, I would take out a shotgun. On Friday, someone jumping down the street for joy. Hey! Monday?

Shut up! for reference here as we're sitting in our studio, a young couple came walking by, and this girl was just kind of like skipping along and she was waving and everything. Looky, I think they can see it in the reflection. Oh, nice.

Yeah, for those watching on the tube, YouTube. Yeah, but people walk by here absolutely shocked that we'd be sitting here doing this. Like you would think that they saw whatever was in the sky.

over like a lot like one of those alien probes or whatever that's going around you would think that's what they saw sitting here in the studio sometimes man i'm like am i naked you ever think that no like for a split second like somebody looks at you weird in the store and you're like damn do i have pants on right now you ever think that i'm like did i really forget to put on pants or something no i look down and i'm like oh okay only if i'm only in my dream the old naked dream i don't think I've had that. Really? You're walking around stores naked and shit?

Not the stores, school. Are you like covering up or you're like, what's up? No, you're covering it up, dude, because it's like sixth grade. So you're just absolutely traumatized by everything. And you have no clothes on.

You can't do anything about it. That's kind of a recurring dream that I've had thrown. You should look that up. You, you, you look that up. Nicola can't type.

No, but so welcome back to Nicola Kantepe. All right. Yeah. a recurring dream. Oh, naked. Reoccurring.

I don't think there's an apostory on the end of that one, bro. We're just railing. Dreams of nearly in new or unfamiliar environments can indicate

that you're anxious about an upcoming change of circumstances. Yeah, that checks out. Dude, that's every, like,

every single definition of a dream ever is that. Oh, I saw a snake in my dream twice. Well, that indicates that you're anxious of your upcoming change of circumstances.

They can say that about anything. No, that does check out, though. I mean, you know, well, who's not? Pretty anxious person for a while. Still got to him. I don't know. Do you think anxiousness is overplayed?

Yeah, really. I didn't even know what it was. Yeah. Like, how come you never get anxious? I was like, I'm pretty sure I'm just anxious all the time. But I just didn't know what it was. Yeah, it's like we've gone through three generations. And now we're on to the fourth generation.

So it's like the first generation would be like our grand. grandparents to where they just suppressed everything. All that stuff was like made up. It was looked down upon. And then you get to our parents. And it's like they kind of knew about it, but it still wasn't ever really talked about. And you get to our generation. It's like openly talked about more. It's more of a thing. But then now you get to the fourth generation. And it's like everybody's just fucking slinging it around. And being anxious is just like, what is it? We've almost come like literally. flipped on its head from like what is like the young like the gen C generation now four generations

ago their great grandparents or whatever or their grandparents great grandparents maybe the grandparents i don't fucking know but like they were it's like suppress everything and now it's like you unsuppress everything i don't know we don't have to get into a psychology podcast here it's kind of it's not bad though we're touching some topics we don't ever touch touch touchy touchy boy you like my new shoes yeah what Fuck off. You have all the best new shoes now. What do you mean? I'm just saying like, it's tough. But fuck off, you know?

You know? Like, when you ever see something so cool, you're like, oh, fuck off, you know? Because I love it so much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, okay. I appreciate that. Oh, yeah. Definitely not an actual fuck. Like, get out of here right now. But like, yeah.

And I discovered these are actually the first time that I've had high top ones. I've got mid ones. Yeah. High tops makes a difference. It does. I like it better. There's like a little bit of different color on the top that you can... That pops a little bit.

That and it's more comfy. And I think for my body type, they just look better. Yeah. Just don't wear them shorts on. Hmm. Made that mistake 23 too many times. Do you wear socks that go up past the shoe or not? Sometimes.

I think that makes it better. If you just rocked shorts with high top shoes that have like ankle socks, it's a weird fucking look. Weird shit. Like, did you just go out and get the newspaper in those type of? shit. You can't really be like walking around at the mall in those. Hey, going back to last week, that's the kid that you were like,

eh, we could be school friends, but I don't really. Yeah, a car kind of smells like weed. Don't you love that kid, though? I can talk about them all day. Deep down one to be that kid. Favorite, favorite kid. A real, like a true a true

ride, rider in your life. Oh, yeah. Like he'll, he'll, he'll subscribe you're at YouTube and you only have 16 locked in. And then like he'll DM you on Instagram or Facebook. Yeah, that's what it'll be like a Facebook message.

God, Facebook. It'll be something that like he references from like 2008. And that would that you die like at the time it was so funny. And you hadn't really thought about it since. And he drops that on. You're like, oh my God.

That is yes. Wow, dude. So good. How are you? Like he doesn't. doesn't really do much else besides that. Or like you see about a bar. Just stuck in that year. Well, not even stuck in that year. It's just like he knows that like, oh, yeah, this is still, this is still heat.

I'm going to drop this in there and you're like, wow, dude, good to hear from you. And he's just like, keep killing it, bro. You're like, dang, that's what I'm talking about. It's nice. Should we get a beer soon? Probably not. But maybe. Probably not. You'll get too drunk and try to kill me. And you have weed socks on. So. Yeah, why is that? I feel like that, that kind of kid growing up or in high school, they would, when they wore high top shoes, they wore ankle socks. When they wore low cut shoes, they wore socks up to their shins. Yeah, black ones too that were pulled up real tight. You're like, what? Yeah, or they had like weed plants on. I'm like, what is that? Like,

your mom just washes those. Your mom's doing your laundry and you have like weed clothes and she doesn't like say anything. Yeah, that's why I can't come over. Yeah. And the fact that. that you're watching Digimon right now. But that's always, that always happened. I just now realized that. High top shoes, low top socks. Low top shoes, high top socks. It's always like that, isn't it?

Like, what? Weird. Some people just can't, can't do it. Right. You're like, is that by design, like, do you realize what you're doing or is that? Did it the other day. It felt so awkward in my shoes.

What, the low socks with high tops? Yeah. Because I was like, oh, I want to wear these, I'll wear these like, Jordan's with shorts. And I was like, oh, because it was really hot out the other day

for zero reason at all. So I was like, I do want to wear shorts, though. So I put on ankle socks and they're like mid-jordons. And I was like, this feels like I'm about to go

make a drug deal or something. Very weird. Yeah, I got embarrassed in my room and took my shoes off immediately. You ever get embarrassed when no one's around? Take your shoes off,

just threw them against the wall. I did. I kicked him in my closet. I still can't find the right one. The left one's just sitting there. just fell out the window down on the mass out. Perfect. Way too hot the other day for zero

reason at all, bro. You know, you got to appreciate those days. They're the days that get you through, you know? Those are the days that give you the hope. You're like, wow. Yeah, this will be really nice when it's consistently like this. I know tomorrow is going to be absolute hell. It'll be snowing like it is, but this gets us through.

This is nice. Man, those hot days, though, I'm like, guys, can we just act like we've seen the sun before? Ooh. You know? No. No? It might be in a dickhead for that a little bit.

A little bit of a cynic, but I mean, there's some, there's a, there's a bit to it. The fact that, like, as soon as a sun comes out, it could be 55 degrees. People are out on patios, having beers. Pubs are opening up their garage, like door thing. It's, it's just, every dog in the city is getting walked to the same time. Motorcycles? I'm like, come on, man. Act like you, hey, it's like Emmett Smith. Scoring Touch.

Barry Sanders, scored and touchdown. Tannenball the roof. Act like you've been there before. Hey, happy every year. Ew, dude, the other people staying out on their porch till fucking 2 a.m. Roo, roo, roo, right. They're dogs. I'm like, is it July?

Yeah. Like, it's going to go back to freezing tomorrow. Let's just take it slow. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. That's a good point.

That was a good point. You've got a chicken salad sandwich? No. Uh, no. I've only had chicken salad. And it weirdly, the last one, remembering eating had had like sliced up grapes in it.

Yeah. Okay. I didn't know if that was a my family thing. No, that's a pretty common thing. Slice of grapes are hitting in chicken salad. Dude, I've really become a chicken salad sandwich guy. You throw that on. You have it like with a croissant, like a nice fresh croissant and the chicken salad. That's a really good meal. Had it for lunch today. Have you seen that place that only sells chicken salad sandwiches?

What? Bro. Chicken salsa. Chicken salad chick. Is that what it's called? Oh, that is what it's called. You've been there, dude? No.

You need a gift card, dog. Hey, can we do a live podcast from chicken salad chick? Sounds awesome. Bro, it's in like broader... The croissant. It's in like broader... It's in like broader, dude. No way.

Yeah, we're so old for this right now. No way. Crescent chicken salad? And they put the slice, the spear pickle there too? Yeah, slice grapes on that. Oh, chicken solid BLT, though? Fuck my ass in hell. I mean, what?

Excuse me? Dude, yeah. Turkey. Oh, well, go down a little bit. Go up a little bit, sorry. A little bit of turkey pest out. Lord God. A tiny bit up.

Pimento cheese BLT. Suck my dick dry. The things I would do for that thing, dude. Toasted bread, slap me in the face. With the bread. fucking anything you got, dude. You holding a stop sign? Bash my head against it for that.

That would probably feel weirdly good. Yeah, I know. Not like, listen. I know, I know. Like the first like 10th of a second. Well, no, no, no. And your head's kind of still ringing. You're like, ah.

Hold on. Don't feel that good. Like, what I'm picturing is somebody having the stop sign by the pole. Oh, yeah. Right? Oh, yeah. And they're swinging.

And like, you, it would not. feel good to get hit in the middle of the stop sign where that has the pull behind it. It has to be one of the wings of the stop sign. Right. That flappy part that would kind of that would be fun. It would feel kind of good. It would feel kind of good. It would be pretty fun. Wake you up a little bit. Yes. It's like it's like a punch in a wall that you know is not going to hurt. It's just all. What kind of walls are those? You know like some drywall or something. Like you ever like you ever like open a door in your eye. I could rip this. fucking door right off. Yeah, that's a powerful fun. You're like, fuck it. Like one of those little

bitch-ass doors from those. That's that stop sign. Dude, those doors are fun. And if you could like rip it down by the top, you ever punched a, you ever punched a hole through a drywall? No, I haven't punched, but like, this is yada, yada, yada, long story short. I had a stroke too. Got a burp in there? Let's just get them all out. Fuck it, dude. Sound the alarms. Me and a dude in high school, Joe King,

name comes up every podcast. He was like, bro, I bet you can't get around me in my friend's basement. I was like, okay, shut the fuck up. Classic Oklahoma drill. Shut up. So we're like 98 beers in and I'm like,

and he's like, and I'm, he's already in past set. Oh, he's ready, bro. But he didn't even have to like, you know, that's illegal formation. He's got to line up on the ball

He's got to be like Not like down in his stance But he has to like he can't just be like this No that's what he's doing Okay, that's what he's doing And I come off dude I come off off the edge hard I'm giving him all I got

And he fucking takes me by my hip Into the wall Oh So that's the closest I've ever been To punch and dry wall It was just getting a whole hip check Did you hit him with a swim move No because I knew

I knew he knew And he was gonna do that thing Where you push the arm and I was gonna go flying into like that the basement bar. Yeah. I love the swim move, though. I think I tried to spin,

and then I just got a little out of control because we were on Berber, you know, carpet, Berber, carpet. It's like real low carpet. It's almost like AstroTurf. Ooh, yeah, it hurts. And I had ankle socks on. And they're a little sweaty

because I've been on all day. I got a grip. It's like being on ice, bro. So I just... Burber ankle socks combo. Watch out, baby. Oh, dude. I fucking...

Have you? Yeah, actually. Yeah, punch on. I'm straight through it. What the fuck were you met? Hey, Steelers lose? No,

no, no, it was the Cubs. It was, I was hosting a party in high school. And it was one of those who are like, just people just want to listen, bro.

Like, oh, yeah. My parents are getting pissed because, like, people kept coming up and down, up and down, up and down,

up and down. Like the music was, every time I try to turn the music a little bit down, somebody fucking, man, I'm that guy. And yeah, yeah.

And God, I'm glad you are never had one of those. Not that you would have been because it would make sense at that time. But like it kind of would have made sense. It would have been like, what the fuck? But anyways, um, I just one of those were like, I had no control. Nobody was listening.

Yeah, to set the tone. And I was just like, I just, you know, my dad was texting me, like open up the door at the top of the stairs. Kind of like, you know, talking to me from there. I had people on the base would do it stupid shit. Like. And so I just, was it like a party party or is this like I'm just having people over playing it cool.

It was a party. and I just like got so overwhelmed and pissed, man. I was just like, fuck. And just boom right through the going down the stairwell right through it. Were you solo or do you have like a friend with you? That was kind of just like, yo, we need a little tell them, you know? Bro, I think, you know how you had always had to, well, maybe you didn't because you and your friends are fucking idiots. But I at least had like, I love them, but I at least always had like, there was an always had like, there was an

was a couple of guys who like I could rely on the kind of like I'll be the uh the voice of reason or like the ones that would like know when something was like okay we need to get this on the control and so I think it was probably if I had to guess it was like David Heckman and then Will shot there's always like kind of one that like you're friends with there's always like a random party goer that like wasn't one of your like inner circle guys but like this dude was just like hey you're the host man like I got your back no matter what yeah and that was Will shot So it's like big props Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Out out there And both like Two great dudes to have on my side For you know people I mean

They're both very big humans Um But yeah They were kind of like At the bottom of the stairs with me Kind of being like We'll get into control Like we'll figure it out

You know what I mean And then I just fucking lost it So did they have to get you under control then? No I just you know I look like Did they see it? Yeah It's like I get quick bursts

And then I'm like All right I'm good I just got to get it out of me And I'm good Did you go fist to the wall or were you going here? Bottom of the fist. I think bottom.

I can go bottom of the fist. I think bottom because like straight on I still didn't. I didn't know that that was like dry wall that would break easily. I thought, you know, I was just so pissed. I was like, this is a wall and it's going to be, it's going to hurt. But I still was like, I'm not going straight in like that. But you did. Like I don't want a broken hand.

Yeah. So I just like, like, like, I think I kind of like almost like you're knocking, but like you're, it's a punch knock. Yeah. And it just went straight through. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's still a good time. I just had to fucking sand that shit over or whatever. Yeah. First and only time I'll ever look at a how-to YouTube video.

That's that is a shameful experience. Having to patch up some drywall you beat your fist through the night before. Oh, rough. Whoops. Done it four times. Chick-and-sell chick. This is all I want to go to. This is all I can think about. Just slap a tomato on anything, dude. Oh, no way, dude.

I hate tomato. Mm-hmm. I thought we had something. Only tomato I could do is like with a really sliced up shit that said like pico de gallo. Like taco? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Man, I can't wait.

I can't one of these days. You're gonna... A full ass tomato like this? Slice them up, dude. On a whopper? A whopper? Oh, it's so... You don't know.

Dude, I can eat a burger without the burger. just lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard. I'll eat the whole thing. And I'll be like, I thought there was a burger on there. I wouldn't even, it wouldn't make any difference to me. That does kind of fucking me up,

like, BLTs. That's such a popular lunch menu item. There's not even really, it's like, it's not, bacon, lettuce,

there's not even, I was like, oh yeah, BLT, but that's just like, the turkey's already on there and then it's just bacon, less tomato on top of it.

Nope. Two strips of bacon, fucking tomato and lettuce. You think they fucked around and forgot the turkey one time? And they just had this, that, that's what it is. That's what it is. You got it. Open up.

They take off the top of the top piece of bread. You got your baking the last month. BLT. So it's yours. Guys like, they had to roll with it. That's how it was birth. Type it on the menu.

We got to keep the charade going. The guy who got, the guy who got the BLT was some multi, multi-millionaire with a lot of power and influence. It was like he owns a chain of wrestling. restaurants, obviously. We're introducing this to the world. I loved it.

BLT. whole time. They totally forgot the turkey. BLT. But I always kind of want to order it. Oh, I have. You know, it's like, this has got to be like on some crunchy,

crisp bread. It's amazing. You know? It is the, you know what it is, though? You know why you want to order it? That fucking toothpick they put in it.

Or the toothpick with like the color flag on it like it's a like a pirate just marked its territory on your sandwich just holding everything together bro man without that toothpick what would society be just holding it all together as soon as you take that toothpick out sandwich completely just implodes chaos sliding everywhere you know can't get a grab by it's horrible how about every time you ate anything when you're a kid it just went fucking everywhere first time i ate a cheeseburger probably until like two years ago fucking the burger slip out the back. He'd be like, what is going on?

I need a toothpick. Bro, I hate that about cold cuts. When you're, who's going with all. Who's calling them CCs still, bro? You just slid a CC in the combo. A cold cut combo. Dude, cold cuts.

Bro, that's what it is, man. You get one, but it drives me nuts, man. When you take a bite out of straight out of the middle, the all that shit slides to the side. Shit. Then you're eating a fucking cold cut sandwich like it's a taco. Yeah, that'll ruin it for you.

Yeah. Yeah, I can't even do it anymore. Why don't even get a fork and just eat the fucking meat? Wouldn't be too bad. You ever have to take a knife and fork? When's the last time you had pizza with a knife and a fork? Pretty regularly. Man, it makes it so much better.

That's cool. Always the hardos that are like, yeah, yeah, they're kind of looking at it. They're looking at it weird, you know? Dude, people who are like, people who try to be hard asses about food. What's your problem, man? Like what else? Like what? You know, is your dad leave you when you were a kid?

Oh, it's a big dad thing. What the hell's going on? Bro, my dad won't drink anything out of a straw. Yeah, it's like you're sucking on a schvons, right? So funny, dude. It's the only way I'll drink anything. You have a straw for this through here? Middle age and older people.

Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. it's like that. I mean, I'm done with the boneless wings, bone, and shit, right? Like, people establish their whole personality. Stake their whole manhood on the fact that boneless wings are chicken nuggets. Cool, dude. There's so much better.

Like, think about it. Just this thing. Get your caveman. Put your caveman aside and think about which one you'd really rather eat. I just can't imagine sitting down at a meal with, it could be my closest friends. it could be my family or it could be usually when this type of shit happens

somebody that you don't really know that well but thinking you know I'm going to make a comment on this person how this person is eating their food that's going to go over well really man it is

it's a it's a tough one to bring up boneless and bone in wings uh what would you say before that they got me on that I can't remember. Oh, eating pizza.

The way you eat pizza, I can tell by the way someone's eating pizza if I'm gonna like them or not. How do you not like when people eat their pizza? When they stack two on top of each other

like a fucking sandwich. I'm like, I'm never talking to you. Who's doing that? Fucking joking. Just your high school friend that's so hungry. Best friend.

Just slices of pizza on top of each other. I really don't like. are they like the pizza king like the squares no there's triangles oh that's weird I know I mean you give me some squares I can that's the guy

that's wild I guess it could be kind of interesting because like you know all the the grease and the cheese and everything is tucked on the inside so then you can just really wrap it all around you don't worry about your hands getting too like messy or anything it's, yeah. I don't like the big time.

Really? The New York slice with the... I mean, you can do it, but some people are really too proud sometimes to be able to throw that index finger down. Yeah. It's like they're showing you like how to hold a pitch in baseball.

I know. I'm like, I'm not throwing any curveballs, coach. I'm just eating some fucking pizza. Sometimes you have to that, dude. You can't... If you're throwing up gang signs while you're eating pizza,

it's time for a knife and fork. Yep. knife and a fork with pizza. Sometimes you just got to, you know. Can't beat it. Yeah, it's steaming hot. You're like, you know, the first couple, first couple pieces or first couple bites. Nice.

I'm going to open it up, let it cool down a little bit. Open it up. You know? One of these, uh, what's that? The whole, it's really hot and it's drooping. So you got to put that. Oh, yeah. The really long where you didn't capitalize on the curve, on the knuckle ball.

Yeah, you don't have it in you. Yeah. do that. So you just try to do it this way, but it's flopping down too much. Now you got to, now you got to two-hand it. Yeah. Ah, the two-hand. That's tough. You know, like I just said, I won't make comments. You know, people eat how they eat or whatever. Like, enjoy your food. I don't fucking care. But at the same time, I'm like, ah, if I was in that person's spot,

I'd be like, everybody's looking at me. Yeah. Everybody's looking at me. He's got to let it cool down. That's why you just go with like the, the square pieces. Man, there's nothing better than a good old party cut. Like Donato's or Pizza King And that's what are you gonna just pop those bitches in The corners House that shit Give me a couple corners

House that shit All night long I'm gonna think a night All night long Why are you wearing jeans? I didn't know what to wear Last podcast dude I just I looked like I just woke up

So I had to really make a statement today Jeans with shoes on Yeah weird I didn't know what to wear honestly. Do you try your jeans on before you get a new pair? Or have you had the same pair since 2010? No, they all fit different. So I all, like, buying jeans is a day. I try 34 different pants. Like, I know, I'm never the same. For some reason, I'm never the same, like, around the waist or length. I don't know. We're doing, we're doing a little baggy here now. Like, but sometimes you get baggy, they still end up being tight. You got to try it. It's like, it's like a hat, like a fitted hat. You got to try it on. Yeah, I know about the hats.

It's just a certain feel. That's why I wore that same Jordan hat for like six years. Everybody was like, it's probably time for a new one. No, it's not. I was like, nah, man. Like this, it just, we have a connection. Dude, some hats are like, it's part of me. You got to have a connection with the clothes, man.

Because if you don't have a connection with their clothes, then you're out and about and you present yourself like, I don't got a connection with my clothes. You can tell when somebody doesn't have a connection with their clothes. Exactly. Like you're not vibing with your shirt. shirt right now. I can tell. Just go home and change and come back. We'll start all over again. I had to do that one time

when we were working at Emmis. I walked into Emmis. You go, I'm going home. Yeah, what was that? All my clothes came back and you're like, all right, let's do this. Fuck, I don't remember what that. I was just wearing weird shoes with weird shorts. And I was like, I'm going out on a limb here and we're going to see how it feels and I

wasn't vibing with it and you just confirmed it. You looked at me and go, but probably because I could feel something's a little off with you. Right. You know? And something like, just go, you know, it's like when a football player, they wear some cleats of the first quarter or, you know, first half and then half time they come back out, totally new cleats. Why?

Just wasn't, they didn't have the connection. It wasn't work? You think that's what it is for those guys? Or they're just trying to rock some cleats. Like multiple in one game? Kind of. But like, Jalen Hertz did that literally in the Super Bowl. So I'm like, you know, if this is week 14, you're playing the fucking Saints.

Yeah, you could probably. try to get two or three pairs in just because you want to. Super Bowl, you're probably like, I need like, you know, you're like, this isn't working, man. Like, it's more than, it's more than fashion. Right. Like, I can't get a grip. Like, I'm slipping. Like, my, my ankles are too tight. Like, you know. Oh, and there was something going on with the grass too, right? A lot of people were complaining about the turf. Yeah. Wow. People were slipping. Of course, right? Like, biggest game of the year. The one you have to have the turf right for totally fucked up. Did you see what the cardinal said? they're like, oh, before the game, this sod's been ready since 2017.

Yeah. I was like, hey, tack a few more years on just had a stroke, sorry. And I don't know. I just ruined that whole point because of my stroke. But, who, no, but yeah, I know what you're saying. But to me, I'm like, rolling out antique for the Super Bowl. It's a little much, dude. What, you want something fresh?

Turf. People don't like turf. Players apparently, like, there's, there's, there's, like a big uproar this past year. Players hate turf. It's bad on their joints. It's bad on their meniscus. The cartilage. Tell that to every high school in the country. Fuck, we got to go back to grass. I know. Yeah. The revolution of like that turf with the little, uh, pebbles in it. Yeah. From like 2006 till really now, everybody was like, yeah, got to have it. Got to have the artificial turf. Got to have the field. Do you remember when the colds?

went away from the astro turf and then they got like that kind of turf and like every time every game Reggie Wayne would have like a toe drag where like you'd literally see the black Oh so hard It's like wow That's what we've been missing

I do this something about that Like real low astro turf though Oh they're playing on concrete shit But they were just flying Yeah the bright green Flying in a parking lot Because they're playing a tennis shoes Yeah it looks so cool like visually

but playing you'd be like eh, gonna die. Dude, that would be, yeah. It would literally be hard. I don't know. That's a weird, that's a wild time. It's a weird era. You look back, everyone had AstroTurf. So dope.

Even the Steelers, dude. So, dude. So dude. So dude. I think of that every time it was that dope. That was so, dude. Dude, that's the biggest. This is the biggest stroke. I was about to say, we've been doing this as 22 episodes. That is by far, biggest stroke that is happening. It was that me or you? Me, dude. I've had a couple, I've kind of a couple of bad strokes, man. I've had a couple showstoppers.

You ever stroke so hard? Strokes so hard. So doop. So do. So do. my new goal. Looking in the eye anymore after you stroke that hard. I got, I got two goals. I got one for the two guys in the break room who don't really know each other at work to one have a burp and go,

I love you, man, being born under the breath and then one guy go, whoa, and then they become best friends. And then the second one is to have so dope catch on. People now, they go around,

they're not like, oh man, I love those jeans. Those are so dope, dude. They say, man, really,

really cool jeans. I love them. They are very dup. So dope. Dup. Six times I've kicked my phone. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Favorite video ever.

What is that? Shannon Sharp. I don't know. Can we put, can we? Shannon Sharp, whoa. Shannon Sharp, whoa. Keywords. Just hit YouTube. Nah, fuck. do like this too. There it is.

Let it rip. Shannon Sharp is crazy, bro. Dude. He is crazy. He's somebody that I would love to like have dinner with by the same time. I would be so intimidated to walk in there. Because I'm like, this dude is about to,

you know, talk about if you don't like the hat I'm wearing. I mean, he would just go in on you. Would he? I feel like it. I feel like it. I feel like unless you're, like, if you're doing that to him, he's getting you back.

But if you're just whatever, I don't think you're really good. I don't fucking know, bro. Man, I feel like he's like the locker room, like, bully. You know, the, the, the player than the locker room that just would absolutely go around and just try to fucking make everybody's life miserable. Love that guy. Especially the younger dudes. Always a tight end.

Always a tight end. Fucking huge ass, dude. That no one's going to say anything to because I can't. Don't want to either. And you don't want to because it makes it worse. I hate that. So you just sit there and you just literally have to take it. Come on, dog.

What do you got for me today? I hate that, bro. Just getting bullied. Like you're clocking in? Yeah. Like he's the boss. All right, dog. Put it on the desk.

Where are we got? Has anybody just done that to you day after day? You ever been bullied? Like, big time? Mm. And you just can't do anything about it, bro. No. No.

People probably just talk shit. People definitely just talk shit behind my back. But everybody does not by everybody. Yeah. Did you? No, not that. Did you get bullied? Dude, one time I was getting bullied when I coached football. Like one of the younger kids would bully me all day and I could obviously couldn't say anything back. That's tough.

But I was like, bro. Was he probably like a smaller kid too? I mean, he was just talk. I was like, oh my God, I wish I could just rip you to shreds. But like, I'll get fired. And it always looks bad. Oh, yeah. I'd just be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But deep down, I'd be like, damn, dog.

Don't say that too low. Don't let the running backs hear that. What would he say? What was the type of shit that you'd say? Oh, dude, he'd probably just call me like soft or something. Like, come on, man. Yeah. I am.

I am a bitch. You didn't have to say that too loud. Don't tell everybody. I know you know and we know each other know this. Well, we both used to substitute teach. Like to catch him. That's a fucking nightmare. You know, you get easy page.

check thrown in there. You're working part time in radio or whatever. So it's like, I'm doing that at, you know, three in the morning radio. So during the day, I got some time. I'll go sit around in a classroom and make 75 bucks or whatever the fuck. That was tough, dude. That's the toughest public speaking when you're like, I'm the sub and these kids at the peak of their life. 17, 18 year old dudes. I mean, you're done. You're done. You're done for it's absolutely done. It's It's walking into a trap. And he can't, like, make fun of anybody either. Can't make fun of them.

You're at your back against the wall. You can't discipline, really, because then it's like, oh, he's, he's that sub. Yeah. One time this dude just kept making this noise, bro, all class. And it was super annoying. I was like, dude. And then he did it again.

I was like, are you serious, man? And then, like, time would go by. And it was kind of a fucky Friday vibe. And he kept doing it. I was like, What'd you do? Do you write them up? I was just like,

there's a bunch of people in the class that were kind of like looking at me like, yeah, tell him like, come on. I was like, who thinks Kevin's annoying? Ooh, putting it on the kids. Fucking 20 of them hands in the air. I was like, Kevin, you're annoying.

We just kept watching the movie. And he was like, all right, I bet. After class, I was like, that was kind of funny, though, dog. I got to give you props for being a little funny too. Because it was like a song from a Disney movie. And I was like, okay, yeah. That's a vet move, though.

Putting it back on the kids. Nobody wants to be annoying or lame to their peers. I know. I was like, they don't give a shit if they're annoying or lame or anything to the sub. They're like, yeah, fuck you sub. I was only like, I mean, I was like six years older than that at the time. So it's like, bro, like, yeah.

We get it. We know, yeah. Come on. Just work with me a little bit here. I know. Bro, one time I had a substitute, this old motherfucker.

he like I was done with the work that he assigned right the busy work that subs give right I was done with it such an easy cheat I finished it my shit was done I was just like hey I there's 12 minutes left in this period which I put my head down on my 12 minutes in heaven right there I'm gonna put my head down on my desk I'm not bothering anybody nope one of these fuckers that was like took everything to the letter of the law as a substitute I'm laying there all of a sudden I just fucking get boom this dude kicked the bottom of my desk my head was down on it kicked the bottom of my desk I was do I mean you want to talk about Molnard I was fucking living because it's like he was like trying to like can you do that exactly and then he was like trying to like I think he was doing it because he thought he was like funny or something and also he just he was trying to be disciplinarian like we say yeah once you're done with this you're supposed to either read or blah blah blah I'm like dude come on but I'm like dude come on but I'm like I'm like dude come on but I'm but I'm like I'm like I'm on but I'm like I'm I mean, luckily, like, I had my, you know, my head down in my forearm and everything.

So it kind of like just ricocheted off that. But if I just been like laying my head down like that, fuck, dude. Concussed. Yeah. Can't play Friday. I think I might have even like, it's so mad. Like, I had to take a step out. That, but I think what he initially did it and I was so like taking aback by everything.

Because he just did it. And then I look up and his fucking dumb ass was just had his back to me walking away. You're still mad. I'm still mad. You know what it was? It was Mr. Kyle. I was going to ask. Yeah.

Wait, Mr. Kyle. Who is that? Well, no, no, explain a little bit. I mean,

he's like what you think of when you think of like a substitute teacher pervert. Oh, wait a minute. Old, older guy, old guy.

White hair, round frames, kind of like shaped like a Simpson, like that slithery guy and the Simpsons kind of shaped like, him. Oh, his little funny ass.

Okay, yeah. Had his back turned me. I literally think I was, I literally went by like this. I'm pretty sure I was like, what the fuck? Like, dude, I was heated. Sorry, everybody out there. Yeah, because I looked around and all my classmates, you know, they're kind of like, were they laughing? Like, they're like, were they like,

bro? I mean, they were just, they were all just taking a back because he literally kicked my fucking head. Oh, I wonder what he said before. Like, should I, should I, should, I should. Nothing. I think he kind of like looked around, probably. You know, making the show about him, right? Oh, this is Mr. Kyle's standup hour. Fucking idiot.

It was always funny the way, like an OG teacher would, like, handle that situation, though. But that would handle it in a way that you're like, Bravo, man, you're a vet. Mm-hmm. Vet move. Like, one time we had an old history teacher. Somebody was sleeping,

but it was like a kid that was like, you can get down with the jokes. So, like, somebody, she was like, okay, Kyle, behind him, drop a book, like, from the fucking ceiling. So it wasn't her. doing anything. He just dropped a history book. Smack the shit out of the ground. The kid was like, oh, that's good.

hilarious. Right. That, that's funny. Like the ones that we'll do what we're like, everybody will start clapping or whatever you've seen and like the kid to wake up and just like start clapping. I like that one. That would kill me, bro. Winding up and kicking through the desk. Like, I'm still heated about it.

If I ever see Mr. Kyle around. Kick him right in the fucking leg, dude. Remember me? You have a stroke while you're saying it, probably. Do one of those where you just like kick out his knee. Yeah, like from behind. Just collapses on the ground. And like a Qdoba.

That's my Molinar minute for the week is just Mr. Kyle's dumb ass kick of my dress. Look at you fucking slip in a Molnard minute by us. That's a, that's some vet move right there, dude. Didn't even have to ask. Didn't have to ask. I didn't even say what was going on.

It was just happening. Around. That's, that's crazy. Moulard magic. I was sexy you at like 2.15 and it was like you got a minute.

I was like he knows. Yep. Long story short. I did. All right. Did TG 22. Is it too? Yeah.

TG 22. Cool. Yeah. Listen on YouTube. Yeah. Please. On YouTube. Hit that subscribe.

And these shits are evergreen, man. So you just fucking, we're talking about bullshit from 10 years ago. We're talking about chicken salad sandwich. Oh. You know. You just. freaking run through this shit.

Benj it. You're not going to be like, wait, what a second, wait a second. What a second? Finish it with a stroke. All right, YouTube, Spotify, Apple. Leave a review. Give us some stars. Some stars, please.

Yes. All right. Bye-bye. See you next time.