Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques - 16. Quick Thinks: How to Craft Your Body Language When Confronting Objections

Episode Date: July 31, 2020

Knowing what to say to a skeptical audience is paramount, but how can your body language communicate empathy, openness, and power? In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, we revisit Matt Abrahams’s conversation with Stanford GSB lecturer Burt Alper about how to keep body language in mind when it comes to handling objections.  Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> [e-mail] Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get 50% off your first coaching session today at Strawberry.me/smartJoin our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be. 

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This is not therapy. It's not consulting. It's a thought partnership designed to help you take action with more clarity and purpose. I strongly believe in the value of coaching. All of us can benefit from the help of a coach. Visit strawberry.comme slash smart to get matched up with your coach today. That's strawberry.me slash smart and get 50% off your first coaching session. It's the most affordable time ever to see if coaching is right for you. Using analogies along with appropriate and responsive nonverbal cues can help manage tricky objections and challenges. In a prior episode, GSB lecturer Bert Alper provided several tips and techniques for handling skeptical audiences. Today, we provide a

few more useful ideas that were not included in the original episode. My name is Matt Abrahams and I teach strategic communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Welcome to a quick think's episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast. So let's jump in and learn how body language can help us in difficult communication situations. You know, we've spent a lot of time talking about what we can do with the content during an objection or or some skepticism. What are your thoughts on nonverbales, what we do with our voice and our bodies?

Because a lot of that can work against the words that we're saying if we're not careful. There's two sides to this. So the first part is, as the speaker, quite literally, have your eyes open when you can. I mean, this podcast mode, I might have to be able to see my audience, but usually when I'm dealing with contentious information,

my audience is probably going to be in the room or maybe on the video conference. observing their behavior is a first step. If you see them starting to clench up or make some manifestation of frustration, lack of clarity, even anger, that's a signal that something you just said created that reaction. And so now you know at what point you got into the contentious content of your discussion. That's a key clue to how you're going to respond to that. So it's always important to observe and read your audience.

as body language in anticipation of these moments. Your own body language in response to that is critical as well. And it's not just your body, but your voice as well. I'm glad that you keyed on both of those because they're absolutely crucial. You and I both have talked about this forever. You don't want to fight fire with fire. So if they start to raise their voice, you raising your voice to match that is not likely to lead to a happy ending.

If you can remain calm and keep the emotional tension out of your voice, As hard as that is, it does create an interesting opportunity to defuse. And your body language needs to go along with that, starting with what you're doing when they're raising the objection. You want to be an active listener. You want to communicate all of the signals that suggest you have a sincere interest in the concern they have. And you're not going to whitewash over it. It's important that they feel heard. and you want everything in your body to suggest

you're listening attentively to them. That means don't get your phone out while they're talking to you. Don't look at somebody else. Certainly don't roll your eyes as these comments are coming forward. You've got to put the best visual image of, I care about this concern, and I want to address your issues. So it's leaning in, it's standing in a neutral position, arms aren't crossed in front of your chest, those kind of things.

Absolutely. Similarly, when you start to respond, I think those same body language cues are valuable in the delivery of your response. So having a strong lower body with an active and open upper body shows that you're not wilting under the pressure, but you're also being open and vulnerable. You're willing to hear the pushback.

And for us, in a lot of my coaching situations, the difference between your lower body being solid and secure and grounded versus your upper body being open and in some ways more vulnerable physically, Go ahead and throw your spears, throw your tomatoes. I'm here to receive all that. I'm not intimidated by that. And I want to hear what you say.

The other part that we haven't talked about at all here is the importance of eye contact. And in our small studio here, I'm enjoying the fact that I can make eye contact with you. In a larger audience, it's still critical to make sustained eye contact during your delivery of the information and while the skepticism is being expressed. humanity appreciates eye contact. We trust eye contact. It is one of the things that if you change that element of your communication style, it tends to have a huge impact on people's perception of your trustworthiness and of your stability and confidence. So being able to hold eye contact as someone is challenging you, it's a very powerful position in that conversation. And then being able to maintain the eye contact as you deal with the response also shows that you.

you've got good conviction in your ideas. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, produced by Stanford University's Graduate School of Business. For more information in episodes, visit gsb.stamford.edu. Or subscribe to our show wherever you get your podcasts. Finally, find us on social media at stamford.gsp. Thanks for joining me for this quick thanks episode. If these takeaways were helpful, I'd love for you to listen to the full episode that started this conversation. There's more context, more stories, and more tools to support your

communication. Give it a listen. And as always, thanks for your support. Before we wrap up, I just want to say thank you for listening. It really means a lot to hear how people all over the world are using these ideas in their own lives. It inspires me and the whole team that brings you this show. If you want more episodes and resources, feel free to follow, subscribe, and explore past conversations. We're grateful for your support of Think Fast Talk Smart.