Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques - 253. Top 10: The Best Communication Tips from 2025

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

Our 10 favorite communication insights from 2025.The most transformative communication insights are the ones we actually remember to use. That’s why host Matt Abrahams is taking stock of his favorite communication tips from this year, so we can carry them into the next.In this annual Think Fast, Talk Smart tradition, Abrahams shares his top 10 communication insights from guests over the past year, from facilitating connection through Gina Bianchini's "proactive serendipity” to Jenn Wynn’s use of dialogue as a gateway to synergy. Whether you're looking to build trust, boost productivity, or speak more spontaneously, this year’s top 10 insights offer a reminder of all we’ve learned this year — and a roadmap for better communication in the year ahead.Episode Reference Links:Gina Bianchini: 244. Community Creates ChangeMuriel Wilkins: 240. Belief It or NotJenn Wynn: 222. Discussing Through DiscomfortRichard Edelman: 215. The New Media LandscapeAlex Rodriguez: 201. Ballpark to the BoardroomChris Voss / Peter Sagal: 197. Prep or Perish / 198. Pause and Effect / 199. Blunder Pressure / 203. No Script, No Problem Ada Aka: 191. Memorable Messages Matt Lieberman: 188. Mind Reading 101Arthur Brooks: 181. Why Happiness is a Direction, Not a DestinationLaurie Santos: 179. Finding Positive in Negative EmotionsEp.177 Don’t Resolve, Evolve: Top 10 Lessons From 2024Ep.120 A Few of Matt’s Favorite Things: 10 Communication Takeaways from 2023's TFTS Episodes  Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> [e-mail] Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (03:09) - Facilitation and Productive Serendipity (04:44) - Toxic vs. Healthy Productivity (07:07) - Dialogue as the Path to Synergy (09:39) - How Actions Build Trust (11:05) - Communication as an Unselfish Act (13:00) - Be Present and Prepare to Be Spontaneous (15:05) - Why Memorable Words Matter (18:17) - Persuasion and Identity (20:06) - Finding Meaning Through Purpose (22:01) - Listening to Negative Emotions (24:18) - Conclusion ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get 50% off your first coaching session today at Strawberry.me/smartJoin our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be. 

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to get matched up with your coach today. That's strawberry.comme slash smart and get 50% off your first coaching session. It's the most affordable time ever to see if coaching is right for you. New beginnings allow us the opportunity to reflect, learn, and grow. As we enter 2026, I hope everyone takes a moment to identify a few actions and approaches you learned in 2025 that you hope to implement in the new year. We can all benefit from a fresh start in the new year. My name is Matt Abrahams and I teach strategic communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Welcome to Think Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast. 2025 was an exceptional year.

Here at Think Fast Talk Smart, we expanded the number of episodes we release each month. We now have video for every episode. We have more detailed release notes and English language learning content for each episode. And we started a robust online learning community that keeps growing every day. But most importantly, we've had the opportunity to learn so many important and insightful skills to help us hone and develop our communication and careers. Sticking with our annual tradition, I'd like to share with you 10 ideas from this past year's episodes

that I'm working on to put into practice in my own life. In what follows, I'll share the guest's name and episode number before providing a summary of the concept and how I'm trying to apply it. I'll start with the more recent episodes and work backwards. I hope my strivings ignite some ideas for you to implement. Gina Bianchini, Episode 243, Facilitation is productive, proactive serendipity. The ability to convene people and guide them towards important, meaningful goals, regardless of if they're personal or professional, is really challenging.

I think facilitation is one of the most challenging communication skills because you have to manage so many things, timing, context, differing personalities and approaches. At times, I can be oversawful. structured in the way I run meetings or host events. Gina's advice reminds me to plan, to architect, but not to be too controlling. I'm learning to let go and allow things to happen. For my future events, I now plan to set things in motion by thoughtfully planning an agenda, organizing the environment, and providing some high-level input like initial opening questions, but then I'm going to try to step back and let the event unfold organically.

The social lubricant that exists to create networks of people and communities of people come from confidence. When you feel good, when you feel like you have something to bring to the picnic. And so a facilitator also does something really important, which is, I'm going to make sure you don't feel like you're on the spot. So in facilitating, I'm going to structure, I'm going to guide, I'm going to be, you're going to be, in charge of the experience that we are creating here together so that you get results in transformation. Muriel Wilkins, episode 240, toxic productivity. Getting things done at any cost. I am a really bad sleeper. Always have been. A lot of it has to do with not being able to turn off my brain when I try to sleep. I'm super driven and I run my life by a to-do list. Muriel helped me realize that my drive to get

things done, what she calls toxic productivity, actually works against me because it drains my energy and my productivity decreases. My new practice, based on my conversation with her, is to take time every Sunday to prioritize what I can accomplish on a given day for the upcoming week. And at the end of each day, instead of focusing on all the things I did not get done, I try to celebrate the things I did complete. I feel more energized and focused. Although I'm still not sleeping super well, I am feeling better. More work to be done on the sleep. There is healthy productivity and toxic productivity. Toxic productivity is getting things done at any cost. And it is universally applied across anything that has the notion of needing to be completed. And by the way,

the toxic productivity is really driven by a mindset of, I need it done now. There's a sense of urgency in everything and everything needs to be done. While healthy productivity is more about doing things and focusing on things that matter. So beyond that, you have to understand then what is it that matters, right? There's a certain level of prioritization that needs to happen. And the belief that will drive the healthy productivity is more around something like, I'll do the best that I can with the time that I have. So what I love about that is that it takes into a account that we have constraints, whether we like it or not. We have guardrails. And the guardrails are what is the best that I can do, meaning what is within my capabilities or my team's capabilities or

the organization's capabilities and what is the time limit that I have? And then what's doable within that timeframe. And there is a cost to both toxic and an opportunity with healthy that we can see happen within organizations, but also on ourselves. So most people don't really discern. between the two, they just think about being productive rather than shifting their mindset so that they can have one type of productivity versus the other. Jen Wynn, Episode 222. Synergy is on the other side of dialogue. I really appreciated Jen's advice on difficult conversations. I find that my initial instinct in many conflictual situations is to retreat or the opposite jump right in. The reality is that I need to engage the other person

as a partner to explore and problem-solve the issue at hand. It's about the conversation, the dialogue. When I approach a challenging conversation, I now try to start by asking an open-ended question that demonstrates I want to understand the other person's perspective and situation. I next try to paraphrase to show I appreciate what they said. I remind myself that understanding and appreciation do not mean I agree, but they do open the door for collaborating and connecting.

So sometimes the issue is not listening enough and sometimes it's not showing that we are listening. So those are two distinct skill sets. At the end of the day, I think about dialogue as the free flow of meaning. And so if I've done it well, effective dialogue grows the shared pool of understanding between us. I understand how you made meaning of a situation and you understand how I made meaning of a situation. So that means that I've got to inquire. I've got to ask enough questions to understand how you experienced to that, that client meeting, that argument my husband and I may have had. And then once I've listened, internalized the meaning you made, I've got to paraphrase it back

as a check for my understanding. A real humble attempt to say, this is my summary of what I think you experience. But is that right? Fix what I'm missing. Is it half right and I miss the other half? And once we can paraphrase, this is a skill that, honestly, I think it's like punching above its weight. Right? After I've taken all this time to really ask these open, thoughtful questions, get curious, understand your perspective. Make sure you show the person that you are internalizing what they said. And like you said, it's not agreeing. It's just acknowledging. And when they finally say, yes, that's it, then you've grown the shared pool of understanding, at least from their perspective. and then you can go share yours, and that's where you move into advocacy.

But at the end of the day, the balance you're looking for is inquiry, paraphrasing, and advocacy. And inquiry and paraphrasing are listening skills, both to understand what the other person experienced and confirm with them that my understanding was correct of their experience. Richard Edelman, episode 215. Actions build trust. If you don't do something, you can't talk about it. Trust is fundamental to all of our relationships and well-being. Last year, one of my top ten actions came from Jamil Zaki to trust loudly by speaking out my trust in people,

like saying, I trust you to act on what we discussed. Richard builds on this by reminding us that we do trust. We don't just talk about it. I'm trying to implement this advice in two ways. I now thank people when they put trust in me, and I follow up and share what I've done as a result. For example, a colleague of mine recently asked me to teach a class they need. needed to miss. I thank them for trusting me to cover their content. And after I taught the class,

I sent an email detailing what I had done and how the students had responded. I think action builds trust. If you don't do something, you can't talk about it. The second is to speak broadly, meaning talk to your employees first and then talk to other stakeholders. So inside out. And then the third is, as there's been dispersion of authority, you have to talk, but then the employees have to talk. It has to be a cadence. And there has to be a broad inclusion of forms of media, again, from creators to podcasters to mainstream. Alex Rodriguez, episode 201. Communication is an unselfish act. Arod clearly summarizes one of the most frequently cited.

bits of advice we have heard on the show. Communication is not about you. It's about your audience. It's not about what you want, but what others need. The reality is that all of us suffer from the curse of knowledge and the curse of passion, which leads us to make assumptions, go too deep, use jargon. The only antidote to the curse of knowledge and passion is empathy and curiosity. You need to be curious enough to think about what is important to your audience and empathetic enough to do something about it.

Whenever I write, teach, or present, I now try to ask myself four questions that help me tailor my messages to my audience. First, I'll ask, what is their knowledge level on my topic? What are their attitudes on the topic? Third, what are their areas of resistance, hesitation, and concern? And finally, what motivates them and how can they benefit from what I'm saying? I think someone that I would say has their 10,000 hours on whatever they're talking about, right? because you can't replace credibility.

Someone who can speak passionately and clearly, and don't speak in too many jargons and too many acronyms, really give it to me as simple as possible. And someone who can actually lead me to my next question. So there's a little bit of a revolver. Monologs are never fun. I much more have a dialogue. It's more dynamic, it's more commercial,

it's more sellable, it's better for television. Keeping it tight, I also think it's really important. I think a lot of communicators sometimes think about what do I have to do to be a great communicator to sound smart. I think you should be asking who am I talking to, who am I communicating with, and what nuggets and value can I bring them? Because it's really about them is an unselfish act. It's not a selfish act. And that's a big difference. Spontaneous speaking miniseries, episodes 197, 198, 199, and 203.

Be present and prepare to be spontaneous. I really enjoyed our four-episode mini-series on spontaneous speaking. We all got valuable advice from six guest coaches like Peter Sagal and Chris Voss. They taught us specific ways to be in the moment and to respond calmly to what is needed. The two things I'm working on the most from these episodes is to listen deeply and practice being spontaneous. I find this most helpful when I'm answering questions during a Q&A session. In the past, once I got the gist of what somebody was asking, I would simply simply, start thinking of my answer, essentially disconnecting and going inside my head. Now I really try to

listen thoroughly and either paraphrase the question or ask a follow-up question. Both paraphrasing and asking a question require deep, present listening. Additionally, to practice being spontaneous, I'll often work with an AI tool like chat GPT or Gemini to generate potential questions for me. I feel like an athlete doing practice drills so when I'm in the game of Q&A, I can be agile and prepared for whatever comes my way. It's just practice, it's preparation, it's putting in the hours ahead of time. Anything that looks easy, that somebody makes look easy, they put a lot of time in. And so like any skill, you break it down into small pieces, and you practice it live,

and then you practice it in small stakes interaction. As a hostage negotiator, I had enough confidence in a process. And I'm like, all right, I don't know sure how this is going to come out, but the best outcome is if I just follow the process. This is the best chance of success. You have to be present. I think that is the key to anything like what I do for a living is to constantly work on, as Ram Dass told as being here now and being attuned to what's happening, being attuned to the possibilities of what the future may hold, where this could go, steering it toward the choice that you prefer.

Ada Aka, episode 191, memorable words are concrete, emotional, and informal. Words matter. There are many ways to say things, but Ada shared with us certain words are more memorable. I now spend more time thinking about my word choice and my interpersonal communication and my social media. In fact, I'll let you in behind the scenes. Every Friday, the Think Fast Talk Smart team comes together and names our episodes, and we determine the two or three words that will appear on each episode's show art. It's a fun game, and I look forward to playing it every week. We always take into account Ada's guidance to use concrete, emotional, and informal wording. Next time you listen to an episode, take a look at the title and show art. How'd we do? Was it memorable?

What you can do is, at the end of everything, average all of these probabilities to say, what are the words that stick in people's minds over time? And then that's the point that I think is quite fascinating. Certain words are intrinsically more memorable than others beyond where they were presented, what they were next to, or who the person was even. And those types of things, I think we can look at two different buckets, what we call psycholinguistic variables that relate to language-related properties of the words. Things like concreteness, a word like Mountain is going to be more memorable. Of course, emotions, quite a bit as well, both in terms of valence and arousal. And then contextual diversity was another

variable that stood out. So how many different contexts things appear relate to how much you're going to remember those words later on. Informal language also stood out as being some of the words that tend to be more memorable. So if your context allows for it, I would also say incorporating, scattering some of these informal language words like oops, for example, might be relevant in terms of catching your attention and later making you remember not just that word, but that's what's around that particular word as well. We'll be right back to finish our conversation. But first, a quick word from one of our sponsors.

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That's upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's upw-w-rk.com. And now back to our conversation. Matt Lieberman, episode 188. When someone hears a persuasive message, they try on a new identity and decide if they want to be like, that kind of person or not. Matt's idea profoundly affected how I think about persuasion. Much of my persuasion simply provides all the reasons somebody should change in line with what I

want them to do. I tell my students to study so they'll get good grades. I tell my kids to get sleep so they'll be healthy. But Matt's suggestion implies that persuasion can be more effective if we invite the people we're trying to persuade to imagine themselves having made the change. In effect, invite them to try on or consider themselves doing the action or taking on the attitude we want them to have. While I haven't abandoned my old ways of just layering on reasons to do what I want people to do, I now tell more stories that paint the picture of what could be for the person. I use phrases like, what if you could, or imagine what it would be like if. Part of what is happening when someone is delivering a persuasive message is that at some level,

you're trying on a new identity. You can either choose to adopt that identity because you're like, I'd like to be that person. I'd like to be the person who smokes less, who gets more steps in every day. Like, that's an identity I would like to embrace or it's an identity where you're like, yeah, I can't see that being me.

And then that's part of rejecting things. And so I think part of what our self exists for is to allow for the influence of the social world around us. In the West, to think our identity keeps the world from getting in and making us do things we don't want to do. But I think it's a conduit for getting the world's norms into your head when you're young and then occasionally updating those when you're like, that's an identity I could try on.

Arthur Brooks, episode 181. Meaning in life has three parts, coherence, purpose, and significance. These days, I find myself being more thoughtful about how I spend my time and with whom I spend it. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and hopefully wiser, but I want my actions in time to have meaning. Arthur's articulation of the three components of what makes for a meaningful life has been very helpful. I've turned them into a decision-making tool of sorts. When a new opportunity arises, I ask myself how it aligns with my vision for what I want to focus on. What am I passion about in the task?

And I ask, does it really matter to me? So, you know, what's the meaning of life? It's too big a question. When you break it up into smaller questions, however, it's something you really can pursue pretty effectively. Meaning has three parts for people. The first is called coherence. And that's the question, why do things happen the way that they do? You need to have a belief about why things happen. The second is purpose. Purpose and meaning are not the same thing. Purpose is goals and direction. The direction in which your life is going for what particular reason. And last but not least is

significance. Why does it matter that I'm alive? What it matters? matter if I work alive. You need answers to that particular question. So I get at it with a kind of a two question quiz. You can kind of collapse that into a two question quiz that I give my students. And by the way, that I give my adult children too. The key finding meaning is to go in search of the answers and do questions. Why am I alive? And for what would I be willing to die? And that's important because the first question is who created me or for what reason or both. You need a theory about that. You need a belief about that. You need something that you're willing to stake a claim on it. And second is, what would you go to your grave with a smile on your face for? What would you give your life for?

And if the answer is nothing, or I don't know, you just block the quiz. But that's good news, because now you know it to go insert show. Lori Santos, episode 179. Negative emotions are like the engine light on your dashboard of your car. If you don't deal with them now, worse things will happen. It's so easy for me to distract myself from the negative emotions I feel. Lori's advice is to tackle them head on. She reminds us that one way to be happy is to do things that make us happy. But the other way is to reduce the things that make us unhappy. We need to do both.

Ever since having a conversation with her, I try a three-step approach. When I feel a negative emotion, being upset, frustrated, jealous, first I sit with the emotion. This is hard for me, but I try to feel it and understand it. Second, I give myself a little grace. This is also hard. I say it makes sense to feel this emotion because, and third, I come up with an action plan to address the negative feeling. Sometimes it's as simple as journaling about it. Other times it's having a challenging conversation.

But I have found this not only makes me feel better, but it makes it easier the next time I feel that negative emotion. I work with college students where just culturally right now we have these conversations about good vibes only and you know you experience any frustration or like mild sadness or fear before. test and you're like, I have to get clinically evaluated. Something's wrong. And so I think, yes, it is important that we have negative emotions, like an appropriate good life with lots of goals and values is going to have some negative emotions. And they're there to do something that's really evolutionarily important, which is that they signal how we should behave.

We know evolutionarily we have these bodily sensations that don't feel good, but that they're really important, right? You put your hand on a hot stove, you know, that's going to be painful. But it's a pain that's telling you to do something, right? It's telling you, hey, move your hand. And I like to think of negative emotions the same way, right? If you're feeling sad or feeling lonely, that means you might need to make changes in your life

that kind of deal with that loneliness or sadness. If you're feeling angry, that's often a sense that there's some sense of justice is being violated that you need to fix. A big one, if you're feeling overwhelmed, right? That's an honest signal that you need to take something off your plate. And so I think of negative emotions is kind of like the engine light on our dashboard and our cars.

It's sort of a pain in the butt, But if you don't deal with that, then, you know, worse things are going to happen later when you're on the highway. And negative emotions work the same way. Well, there you have it. The 10 concepts I'm actively working on in 2026 to hone and develop my communication and career. I hope my list has inspired you to create a list for yourself. What think fast, talk, smart tips and tools will you work on this year? Remember, you're not alone in this effort.

We have lots of great episodes and activities coming up this year to help you. And please consider joining our Think Fast Talk Smart. learning community to collaborate and learn from listeners like you around the globe at faster smarter.io slash learning. Thank you for joining us for another episode of Think Fast Talksmart the podcast. To learn my list of topics from 2025, please listen to episode 177. And the list from 24 can be found in episode 120. This episode was produced by Catherine Reed, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrams, with thanks to Podium Podcast Company. Please find us on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.

Be sure to subscribe and rate us. Follow us on LinkedIn, TikTok, and Instagram. And check out FasterSmarter.com for resources like English language learning content and our newsletter. For ad-free content, you can subscribe on Apple or at FasterSmarter.com slash premium. Finally, consider joining our global learning community at faster smarter.io slash learning. Before we wrap up, I just want to say thank you for listening. It really means a lot to hear how people all over the world are using these ideas in their own lives. It inspires me and the whole team that brings you this show.

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