Thinking Out Loud with Alan Shlemon - Diagnose before You Treat

Episode Date: April 28, 2020

What should you say to your non-Christian friend who rejects Christianity? In this episode, Alan explains an important principle to help him navigate this situation.

I worked as a physical therapist for about 10 years and I still get asked this question today. People say, hey, what exercises can I do to help my back pain? Now, this is kind of a troubling question, right? Because I wish I could simply suggest a few back bends or some stretches and then have their pain go away. But instead, almost every time I give them an answer, they're totally disappointed. I basically tell them, look, I can't give you a treatment plan unless I know what your

diagnosis is first. And this is probably why they think to themselves, yeah, this is why Alan doesn't practice physical therapy anymore, right? I mean, he can't help anybody. But the reality is that it's very difficult to solve back pain unless you know what's causing it. It could be a muscle, right? It could be a bone, a nerve, a ligament, a disc, or it could be a combination of several of those. And then even if you know, for example, that the pain is being caused by, say, a disc that's pinching a nerve, you still can't know which direction to move your back in

to reduce the pain, right? I mean, you might think, well, extension exercises might help to alleviate the pain, or it's possible they might aggravate it, right? It all depends on the type and the location of the problem. And that's why I can't offer a treatment plan unless a doctor or someone else provides a diagnosis, right? And that was the procedure when I worked at the hospital. Now, it's equally challenging to help someone who asks me, well, what should I say to my non-Christian friend who refuses to believe in Christianity?

Okay, again, this is a tough question, right? Because I need to have kind of a diagnosis, if you will, before I can provide a treatment. In other words, I can't offer something to say to that person until I have more information about their unbelief. You know, what are they thinking? Are they raising objections? And if so, what are they? Are they angry with Christians? Did they grow up with a religious background? If so, what happened? You see, there's a lot to be explored before one can know how to respond. In fact, there's a guy named John Coe. He's the director of the Institute of Spiritual Formation at Biola University. And I think he provides a very helpful distinction. He says there are reasons for unbelief and there are causes for unbelief.

So reasons for unbelief would be intellectual objections. For example, somebody might claim that there's no evidence for God or that miracles are impossible or that the Bible is wrong about sexuality or the soul doesn't exist, or something like that. Now notice, these objections can be genuine obstacles to the gospel, and they can be addressed by apologetics. In fact, they typically are addressed by apologetics. But notice, though, there can also be causes for unbelief, which are based in what I would call emotional thinking. And so when emotion is driving the will, reason oftentimes will take a back seat. And this type of unbelief can be a greater or more complex obstacle to the gospel than an intellectual objection.

Often, causes of unbelief stem from dysfunctional relationships or childhood experiences, Unbelief stem from dysfunctional relationships or childhood experiences, perhaps betrayal by a loved one or some other traumatic emotional event. And so attempting to address a cause for unbelief by treating it as a reason for unbelief will fail. I remember one time when I was attending California State University in Long Beach and talking to a student who was unwilling to follow Christ. I asked her to read an apologetics book with me. And so after we read and discussed each chapter together, I asked her, well, what's your position on the central tense of Christianity, you know, like about God and Jesus and the resurrection? Like, what do you think about these things now? And so her answers all sounded great with regards to God.

She said, yeah, I think he exists. You know, what about Jesus? Well, yeah, he's the son of God. And what do you think about the resurrection? Yeah, of course it happened. Well, do you believe we have a soul? Yes, we have a soul. And I'm thinking, oh, this is great.

She must be ready to trust Christ. Then she dropped it on me. She's like, absolutely not. And I'm like, totally confused. I'm like, well, why not? Why would you want to follow Jesus? Well, see, all of her intellectual questions had been answered. And while it's true she didn't have reasons for unbelief,

it turned out that she had causes for unbelief. She was, turned out, in an illicit sexual relationship that she didn't want to give up. By the way, she was also doing drugs with her friends and she was drinking heavily on the weekends when she went to these parties. And she told me all of this. And so she was living life for herself and it felt good to be in control. So why would she want to give up all that quote unquote fun, right? And addressing her intellectual questions about Christianity didn't move her closer to God because that wasn't what was holding her back. She was emotionally addicted to the vices in her life and her belief that she controlled it all.

You know, had I been mindful of the distinction between reasons and causes for unbelief, I may have been more productive, right? And so that's why you need to diagnose before you treat. Before we can offer advice to someone struggling with what to say to a non-Christian friend, we need to understand what's going on in their life. Is there a reason for unbelief or a cause for unbelief? And the best way to understand that about a person is to start with a loving and trustful relationship and then be intentional about spending time with them, asking them questions, learning about their life. Like I remember Francis Schaeffer once noted, he said, if I have only an hour with them, asking them questions, learning about their life. In fact, I remember Francis Schaeffer once noted, he said, if I have only an hour with someone, I will spend the first 55

minutes asking questions and finding out what is troubling their heart and their mind. And then in the last five minutes, I will share something of the truth. And so I want you to notice Schaeffer's order and his emphasis. First, he takes a lot of time to diagnose, right? He asks questions and finds out what is troubling their heart and their mind. And then he can offer a treatment, right? That would be the thing that he says in those last five minutes. He can say something significant that will help them only because he's first taking the time to know them and understand their unbelief. And so whether you're involved in health care or spiritual care, you need to diagnose before you treat. I've often suggested to people who have a friend that is reluctant to come to Christ to begin by just simply spending an evening with them at a coffee shop. to Christ to begin by just simply spending an evening with them at a coffee shop.

You know, sit down, ask them questions, listen to them, kind of unfold the story of their life, and find out what is troubling their heart and their mind. Don't plan to respond that evening. Your only motive should be to understand them. And then finally, pray and ask God to help you discover their diagnosis. Then you can know the treatment plan and how the great physician can provide that healing.