Thinking Out Loud with Alan Shlemon - WWJD? Ask a Question

Episode Date: June 3, 2018

Would you like to improve your ability to engage others in spiritual conversations? Do what Jesus did 284 times in the Gospels. Find out what that is in this episode. Download the mp3...

The next time you're discussing your Christian convictions, here's my suggestion. Do what Jesus did, and that is ask a question. In fact, Jesus did that a lot, right? I mean, he asked questions both of his friends and his foes. And the reason, I would say, is because questions are very powerful. In fact, missiologist Paul Weston, he counted the number of questions that Jesus asked during evangelistic conversations in the Gospels, and he found out that there was a total of 284. And that's a lot of questions for someone who has a lot of answers, right?

I mean, he, after all, is the creator of the universe. He has insight into the most fundamental of all of life's questions. But despite his potentially unlimited knowledge, he routinely asked questions instead of making merely statements. And he did it to help others understand his message. Now we as mere mortals and humans, of course, we know far less. And so I think we should take a cue from our master. We should try to use questions as a foundational means of communicating because it's a powerful tool that's easy to use. And in fact, there's at least four benefits to asking questions.

So here's the first one. Questions can be disarming and inoffensive. So in other words, when you tell a person what you want them to think or believe, it's common for them to get very defensive. And that's natural. Their walls go up and they become resistant to what you want to say or what you want them to believe. It's in fact almost a reflexive action. So ask a question though, and they become more open to engaging your idea. And that's because questions come across as disarming. They're not aggressive if you ask them correctly, and they can make people lower their defenses because you're not coming across as dogmatic about your beliefs. In fact, I would say it's

a mark of humility when you ask them for input through a question. Plus, it shows that you value them as a fellow image bearer of God. So that's another benefit. So here's a second reason why I think you should ask questions, and that is this. Questions can tell you what a person believes and why they believe it. Now, of course, this is the core of the Columbo tactic, which you've probably heard us at Standard Reason talk a lot about. So the two questions that are key, I would say, are what do do you mean by that and how did you come to that conclusion these are simple yet powerful questions that clarify a person's position and their reasons for holding it and by better understanding their view you'll be far less likely to misrepresent their view when and if you respond to them. Now, a third benefit to questions is that

questions can cause people to think about their view, right? I mean, think about it. When people are asked a question, it'll often cause them to think about their answer and in doing so, make them explain the rationale and the details of their view. And many times they'll see a flaw or weakness in their view simply by being asked to defend it or express it out loud. And then here's a fourth benefit to asking questions, and that is that questions can buy you valuable time. You see, you might get nervous when you're talking about your faith and your convictions. And when that happens, it's easy to lose your train of thought or have a mental freeze. Well, now you're stuck without knowing how to respond to a challenge or answer a question.

Well, when that happens, simply ask them a question that seeks to clarify their challenge. Right. And what will happen is that this will make them take a minute or two or more to answer your question. And guess what? You've now just bought yourself some valuable time to think about what they're saying and to formulate a few thoughts for your own response. So as you can see, questions are powerful, but I don't want you to forget something very important, and that is that they require a key ingredient. You see, no matter the question, you must be mindful of your tone because every question should be asked with a kind,

friendly, and inviting manner, right? Don't come across like a FBI interrogator, right? The person you're talking to is not your foe. And you should think of yourself as sitting down with a friend or a family member you love and embarking on an adventure to discover something previously unknown to you. That should be the attitude with which you approach the conversation. Like Francis Schaeffer said about the importance of questions, he said, quote, if I have only an hour with someone, I'll spend the first 55 minutes asking questions and finding out what is troubling their heart and their mind. And then in the last five minutes, I will share something of the truth, End quote. And that's amazing.

A lot of us might think that if we allowed a Muslim acquaintance of ours to take 55 minutes out of the hour to talk about their faith, their religious experience, and their opinion of Christians, and then we only shared something in the last five minutes, a lot of people might think, oh, we squandered our opportunity. Or if we allowed a friend who identifies himself as gay or lesbian to take 55 minutes out of the hour to share about his life or his experience in a church or his fears and his experience as a gay man, while we only took five minutes to share something of the truth, a lot of us might think, man, we wasted our chance. But on the contrary, says Schaefer, we should take that time to ask questions,

to find out what is really going inside their heart and their soul. And that way, when we do have a chance to say something, it'll be exactly what that person needs to hear.