This Is Important - Best Of Eps 56-60

Episode Date: February 18, 2025

The best of episodes 56 to 60. We will be back next week! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, man, what are you into? I have the hookup. The hookup? The hookup for what? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Poppers? Why are there so many poppers? All roads lead to... The hookup. You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to... Yeah, that's a word for it.

Listen to The Hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors I'm Dr. Lari Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab,

is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy to digest actionable tips. You'll learn how to handle relationships, how to be inspiring, how to find your purpose. The Happiness Labs how-to season starts January 1st. Listen on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app, search for the Happiness Labs and start listening. I'm Maura Aarons-Mealy, host of The Anxious Achiever. On the show, business leaders and experts unpack the intersection of mental wellbeing-being, neurodiversity, leadership and career. We offer tools and strategies to enjoy better mental health and

find the best way to work for you. Listen to the anxious achiever on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Let's go! Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo yo right hello nation Popo's ah Gangnam style right oh now I remember what the podcast is well I'm not clicked in until a popo's out and then I'm like oh right this is us And then this is what we do. Welcome back TII nation. And thank you for the Wampum Gangnam Style. Absolutely. Hey, what's up guys? What's up, Anders? Hi Anders. Hey. Hey Kyle. Hey, what's up Adam?

How you doing? Not much. I'm doing good. How are you Blake? I'm doing great. Hi. How are you? How are you? Hey Blake? How's it going dude? Love your smile? Hey guys. Hey, what's up youtubers? How are ya? Smash the subscribe like and subscribe Ring that Bell just watch anything on YouTube where people are you hosting it and I don't for whatever reason they all think they need to open up the episode or whatever you call it with the same like What's up, fam? Like it's the same shit. Everyone's just doing the same thing TII nation, right? It's so weird We always open up with like

No, no, no, no, I'm not saying one dude opens up the same I'm saying many different people start their YouTube I'm saying many different people start their YouTube, whatever's the exact same way. You're saying there's a universal YouTube call sign when you start. Yes. It's fucking weird. There's an art of the vlog. What is it?

Let's start doing it. It's like, Hey, what's up world? Or like, what's up guys? And you're just like, no, no, no, no, no, but it's the same cadence. There's a weird, there's a weird cadence to these YouTube hosts who are like, we're back again, y'all. I'm gonna show you guys these new nails I bought.

These are for wood. These are for drywall. Do your kids, and this goes for any y'all, maybe not Kyle, because I don't think his child is deep into the YouTube game quite yet. No, no but uh Do your kids? Durs or blake want to be youtubers when they grow up?

I think the children are like super More aware of like like just like being famous. I know like that's always been a thing but like I don't know I kind of always grew up just wanting to like be but like, I don't know, I kind of always grew up just wanting to like be in comedy and not so much caring about like the fame of it all. But it seems like that influencing and YouTube makes it. Yeah, I feel like as a little kid, I didn't even think of like being an actor. I just thought like, yeah, movies are a thing that we watch together as a family. But like, I want to be a baseball player.

A dancer. I just want to be a dancer. You want to be discovered at a wedding as a dancer. Did you say you wanted to be a baseball player. A dancer. I just want to be a dancer. You want to be discovered at a wedding as a dancer. Did you say you wanted to be a baseball player? Yeah, when I was like real young. And then by like 12, I was like, oh, I can't, you know, play baseball in the wheelchair. So yeah, it's impossible.

And everyone was like, didn't you want to play baseball? And you're like, I was joking. I tell jokes. Who the fuck are you joking? I'm a jokester. I love jokes. Who the fuck are you joking? I'm a jokester. I love jokes. Hell yeah. But it's weird.

Kids like love YouTube now. Blake, are you saying that these kids are just wanting to skip the craft and go straight to the fame? Is that what's happening on YouTube right now? Well, I think it directly is like a trickle down from like, you can see how many people view stuff. You can see how many people like stuff. You can see how many people like stuff. Like it's very monetized in that way. Like before you would just throw it into the dark. You could kind of guess how many people were on your jock, but now you know, if

you're famous or not, because the number is there. You know how many people are on your jock, right? Exactly. Right. You do have that jock counter up top. That's hells you. Right. I wish that's what the like button was called, jock counter.

I know. You can jump on my jock. How many jocks do you have? Smash that jock button. How many guys are on your jock? Smash that jock button. Come on. Smash my jock.

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! You got any more? You got another one? That's it. OK. That other one was Lil Nas X at the VMAs, though. So good. Oh! You got any more? You got another one? That's it. That other one was Lil Nas X at the VMAs though.

So good. Oh my God, can we talk about how fucking- He gave out a battle cry of a let's go and it just got me juiced, man. I bet the rest got you juiced too. Let's hear it again, let's hear it. Let's go! You can feel it, you can feel. He hit it with a Z. Let's go! You can feel it, you can feel.

He hit it with a Z. Let's go. That's great. He wanted to go. He fucking killed it. Nah, he tweaking though, he tweaking. He killed it at the BET Awards and then just when you think you can't outdo himself,

he out dead in SEALF. Well, he butt fucked a ton of dudes on stage, right? Did he? Yeah. He was just in like a little pit of men. Oh. It was very sexual. Yeah, he was in a little booty shore.

I watched her for like 30 seconds and then. And then you had to finish. I gotta go to the bathroom. I couldn't watch it anymore before jerking off, dude. It was too hot to handle, man. It was hot. There were guys like rubbing their dicks and I was like, can we do that now?

What's the deal? Oh, wait, wait. I didn't see this. What the fuck? What do you mean? How are they rubbing it? Can you show? Can you show us since this is a video pod?

Yeah. I don't know if I can. That's what I'm asking. Like, is it like a... Show us right now as friends. No, it was like a sexual... No dude. You have to watch the video It's like I watch I like I literally turned it on and I just saw a man bent over and him grabbing a dude By the waist and yeah, but fucking him and I'm like, yeah. Oh Rock it was great. Well, they're not actually butt fucking. It's obviously a pantomime of a shit.

It's a pantomime. Yeah, it's pantomime. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that's the difference between us and we can start at their penis. Things have gotten advanced. Let's go. Things have gotten advanced. I like the way it's going. Things have gotten real sexual. I'm sure you can go sore down a mountain. That's super dangerous, dude.

That's one of the scariest things, like, I always remember hearing about, like, people in San Francisco, like, bike messengers and all that. Like, when you're bombing those hills, if you hit someone, you straight up, like, you die, you kill them, you're like a missile. Yeah, you're a human missile. What's that movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt where he's like a bike messenger? Oh, damn. So missile. What's that movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt where he's like a bike messenger? Oh, damn. So good.

What was that movie? It's so good. It's called like the delivery boy or something like that? No. The messenger? Yeah, the messenger. The messenger. Yeah.

It's good. The delivery boy, I like that. He's just out there aggressively delivering sandwiches. It's about Jimmy John. I just remember the shots from the trailer were like, whoa, what the fuck? This is the most epic shit. Freaky fast.

He skids slides underneath that truck. Dude, yeah, he did. You have to drop down and slide under a truck. Wait, has anyone here actually seen it? No. No way. Oh, I've seen it. It's good.

Really? OK, all right. Oh my god. So what's the premise? He delivers packages in his thing, as he's just a fucking wild man in those streets He gets a package. He's not supposed to have or something like that And then Michael Shannon is like after him and he doesn't have a bike He's stuck running

Isn't that the same exact premise of the transporter? Yeah. And it's probably the same premises, Homer and the Odyssey. Thank you, Anders. Let's take it back to Oedipus. Look, all these stories are recycled. There's four stories, guys. There's four stories.

This is Adam and Eve, not Adam and believe me when I tell you. These are all Ace Hop's fables. Yes. Okay. Thank you, God. These are all Hans Christian Andersen's Tinder box, okay? Charles Dickens wrote four stories. Yas, Queen.

Absolutely. There's four stories in this world. The transporter. The messenger. The messenger, the transporter. Space Jam, new legacy. Castaway. And Ready Player One.

And Sopranos. Hey, forget about it. And the many saints of Newark. Forget about it. Hey. Gobble goon. Since none of us are East coasters, we're West coast and Midwesters. Midwesters.

When you heard Newark for the first time, you thought somebody was being weird and like mispronouncing New York, right? Oh, 100%. Totally, dude. Newark. When they say what? Newark. Newark.

Oh, Newark, yeah, yeah. Like when people were like, I flew into Newark, I was like, okay. Is it real? Okay, buddy, just slow it down. You could say New York. You don't need to smash the words together. That was like when Ninja Turtles came out

and it was set in New York. But then when Throw Mama from the Train came out and it was Newark. Okay, Kyle, preach. I was like, what is going on here? I know New York, cause as turtles, Throw Mama from the Train. Is that a good movie?

Is that, and that is based on the honestly. Throw Mama from the Train. Yeah, that's an iteration of The Odyssey. Throw Mama from the Train. Yeah, that's an iteration of the messenger. Throw Mama from the Train. Weirdly, I remember watching with Kyle like at your party or something. Why did we write that? Kyle famously punched his mom,

so I think this might've been his favorite movie. He's like, I gotta see this. Famously punched his mom. Throwing her from a train, is he? During that time of Kyle's life, he was just watching that movie over and over and over. I wish this were real, Mom. What the hell? I wish the title of this movie was real.

I wish it was Don't Tell the Babysitter Mom's Dead. Can I stop? I love my mother. I love her. Come on. It was so tough. You know, whatever. She had three boys in the house. We had to, we were crazy. I'm sorry, mama. It was a tough 18 years. Well, fuck you, cow. Yeah, we were crazy.

Let's go. Wow. Hello. Hello. Hi, guys. Hi. Here we go. My boys.

This is the music, your voices. Yeah, we're back baby. Alright, TII Nation, did you miss us? It's good to see my guys, Kyle, Blake and Adam in the building. Welcome back TII Nation, hit em with the freestyle brother. Hit em with the freestyle and I packed some mic to Durv's One, two, three, four, and I'm gonna Get him, five, six, seven, Durv's has the mic Now, but then I pass it to Kyle

Okay Uh, yo they call me I'm back, I'm back, I'm back Oh, Kyle's chunking My man is chunking So I'm gonna pass the mic to Blaze Going to Blake And Blake has the mic now. What up, T.I. Cypher.

We're in the building. Whoa. Okay. This is dope. T.I. Cypher, we're in the building. It's a big chunk. It's a big chunk. What up?

Let's go. Let's go. I ain't punking. I ain't punking, but I'm chunking. Welcome to the funk show. I'm chonking. Welcome to the function. Trying to function. So wait, so who has the mic? Does Blake have the mic?

Has he passed the mic? Adam has the mic. And I passed the mic to Adam. You got it. I don't want the mic. I dropped the mic. I dropped the mic. I actually lost the mic.

I no longer, I can't find the mic. You dropped the mic, guys. Yeah, on that pass, there was a mishap my drop The mic was dropped and now we don't know where the mic is and we have to stop Rapping wait, it's so cut the music you drop the mic, which is different than a mic drop. Yes. Yeah No, it was an accident. It was a fumble. We followed the mic. Yeah. Yeah, this wasn't this wasn't your your typical mic drop It was a mic fumble and that's our bad Yeah, our collective bad and that's our bad and sorry about that

But but it was it was about to be such hot. I can feel the vibe. Yeah, like we're warming up I had bars on deck. We're all feeling it Why didn't you hit us with your bars? Where yeah, what happened with that? Well, see I was about to I was about to hit you Guys with the bars, but then when Blake tried to pass the mic, there was a fumble. There was a mishap. But you have a mic currently. You currently are talking into a mic.

This is all BS. No, no, no. We're talking about the hip hop, the proverbial mic that we were passing. Right, yes. We were just warming up, man. We were just warming up, and it was going to be so fun. No, it was electric.

If I wasn't chunking. Oh, fuck. That sucks. Pizza, pizza, pizza, chunking that's pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza fresh new content yeah bring the energy TII happened to me again someone said I like your content ooh that's a good compliment yeah at the hotel bar huh someone someone said hey I really like your content mm-hmmhmm. I think I hate it I think I hate that how old is this person? Yeah, they're young. They're young. I mean they're in their 20s for sure, right?

Yeah, that's fucking nuts though. They said like blanket Lee not I like you as this. I like your content. Yeah, it's weird It's it's weird right because did you hit them? Yeah. Yeah, I why pinched him where that no one could see the bruises right you go get call you got a hit on the ears the little muffin top yeah I put him on the top of their skull good yeah as you were trained weirdly a lot of skin there like one of them dogs one of them dogs with the rumply skin our sharp head Oh, our sharp head, sharp head neck. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Hot dog neck? Oh, I love a good hot dog neck. Oh God, I hope to God. Is that, can you be a skinny guy and have hot dog neck?

Yeah. You can? You can? All right, fuck. Is hot dog neck like where you stretch, you just stretch it, you just. No, no, back of the neck. No.

No, it's the back of the head where you're. Yeah, where you get the rolls. Yeah. it's the back of the head where yeah, we get the rolls Yeah, it just pulls up on top of itself. Yeah, that's that's like maybe Maybe my biggest fear of my entire life really is hot dog neck. Oh, that's a point of pride Yeah, if you've got the hot dog neck, then you can start wearing the shades on the back of your head It's just a whole ass look dude. Yeah. Yeah, it looks like lips back there. You can put some lipstick on it. Dude, I kind of, I'm feeling back here.

I'm feeling it and I think underneath my hair I might have some hot dog neck. You have hot dog neck? I think I might have early hot dog neck. Early stages. No, I'm not buying it. You got early onset hot dog neck? Early onset, yeah. You got some little smokeys back there? got early onset hot dog neck? Early onset, yeah.

You got some little smokeys back there? The cause of hot dog neck. It could be underneath his hair. It could be there. That'd be cool. Ay, ay, ay. Happy birthday, Adam. Purple sow!

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. We don't need to pay for that. Yeah, we don't wanna. We don't wanna pay for that. Yeah, we don't need to. We don't need to. We don't want to pay for that. We don't want to pay for that. We don't want to. Remix. I don't think the birthday song is public domain.

No, no, someone bought it. Someone re-bought it. Bezos, Musk, who bought it? Yeah, Bezos. Chad Bezos. You know, my favorite, what I think we should should start and what I've been doing for the past like I'm gonna say like five or six years, you just sing the end. The whole song sucks.

Like it's too long of a song. That's true. So you just go to you just say happy birthday to you. You just do that. You do that 50 times. That just costs us $100,000. I don't do that. You do that 50 times. That just cost us $100,000. I don't like that. And I'm going to go out on a limb and say, I don't like that, Adam. I like it, Adam.

You don't like that? No, I would never do that for you. You want to see what I got you? Oh, fitness? Oh, what is that? Sporty and rich? I love it, Ders. It's coming at you, pal. It came to my house. Ders got me a hat that says fitness on it. He knows I'm a chubby fitness king and I appreciate that. Thank you, body.

Active chunkaroo. I'm an active chunk. That is huge. They call me active chunk. Whoa, hey Adam, is this something that used to happen when we lived together? Like you would have your birthday and you're the oldest out of, out of me,

you and Blake, right? And you told me that like the birthday owl comes and visits you in the evening gives you wisdom only on your birthday. Did you get any wisdom? Is that's a thing, bro? Am I like, am I making I might've said, I might've made that up. Yeah. I feel like I was smoking a lot of weed.

I feel like it was like a really bad, yeah, really bad like fucking recurring joke that we just went with. Yeah. Every like once a year? Yeah. Once a year, the birthday all comes and gives me wisdom.

Right, and then that was the bit, you couldn't tell me what the wisdom was because I hadn't turned the age yet so it was. Yeah you're not old enough. You weren't old enough. Along with age comes wisdom. Along with age comes wisdom. It was cool. That's such a big brother move. Hey yeah sorry can't tell you you're not old enough yet. Yeah and I never had a big brother so like you know that was cool for me. Adam is your brother. Yeah I I guess I kind of am your big brother. Yeah, I guess.

Yeah. I guess kinda. Yeah, you are, big bro. That's huge. My big brother was not my brother. Yeah, I am. I'm the oldest out of the three of us, because Blake, Kyle, and myself, we are the exact same age.

We graduated high school the same year. And then Ders is the oldest person that we know. And so it's cool to get wisdom. It's cool to have your grandfather with you. An elder statesman. An elder statesman. Just to ask like what it was like in the old timey times and stuff. Right.

Yeah. The grampa. The grampa. Before I just busted nuts of dust. Lordy, lordy. getting close to 40 baby. 38. Yeah, you are. Damn near 40. Damn near 40. Holy moly. Wowee wow.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately though. You have to tell. It was like a thing when we were coming up, like selling out was goofy. Like you didn't give up your art to brands because then what would happen is what we live in today where literally every single thing we see is a commercial. We're all just walking commercials now.

You tag your shit. Brought to you by Tushy. This podcast is brought to you by Manscaped. Yeah, exactly. This friendship is brought to you by Liquid IV. They're best buds. We promise. Friendship.

But I was like, I mean, I feel like the internet started because we were also sick of watching commercials in between TV shows. And now literally the internet is just commercials without you even knowing they're commercials. Dude, I was thinking about this today too because I was watching Norm's, Norm has a show on Netflix and he's always like,

you want a Red Bull? Norm MacDonald? RIP, RIP. Didn't give him flowers? But he was giving out Red Bulls. He's like, you want something from the drink thing? He's given out Red Bulls and people are drinking Red Bulls on the screen. I'm like, yeah, product placement.

Then I thought back to like, I'm pretty sure our opening shot of workaholics because of the relationship that Viacom had with Red Bull is a floating Red Bull bull in the pool. Like it is an indoor, like a commercial is our first shot. That was on purpose? Yeah. Yeah, but Red Bull was punk rock back then. Red Bull was counterculture.

I don't think that was on purpose, was it? That was 1000% on purpose because they had a deal with Viacom and I was like, I got the shot. Then I wouldn't have done the show. I'm out, I'm a monster guy. I put it in there. Then I walk. I put it in there. Then I walk.

I put it in there. Sell out. Hey, Kyle, now I pass on the show and I want you to digitally erase me from the show. Mm-hmm. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? How goes lower? I met Santi at a luau party in October. I'm Santi.

Damien. Oh, it was bizarre. The guy just disappeared one day. Santi has been missing ever since. The hookup. What is that? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now?

Like, no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to... The hookup. You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use lead to... The hookup. You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to- Yeah, that's... a word for it. This is such terrible representation, I'm so sorry. Poppers?

These aren't just... any... poppers. Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. No. My psychiatrist didn't laugh at that one either. ["I Heart Radio App," by The Bachelorette plays in background.] Listen to the hookup on the I Heart Radio App, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like

Broad City and Narcos and Roadhousehouse and so many commercials about back pain. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get Ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to tell them a buckwild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Zoe Chow.

Titanic. Charles Manson. Alcatraz. Asada Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I had radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Some people won't give you the real talk on drugs, but it's time we know the facts. Fentanyl is often laced into illicit drugs and used to make fake versions of prescription pills. You can't see it, taste it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap. And the dealer might not even know.

Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts. Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. Did you know that companies hire the most in the first two months of the year? Or that nearly half of workers are worried about being left behind? I am Andrew Siemen, LinkedIn's editor-at-large for jobs and career development. And my show Get Hired brings you all the information you need to, well, get hired.

People are forming opinions of you even before you log into the Zoom or walk into the room. And so you really have to think about what is it I want to display. You don't plant a garden and then just walk away and expect it to thrive. You are in there pulling out the weeds, you're pruning it, you're watering it. It's the same thing with your network. You should always be in there actively managing your network. If you don't feel confident to say a number, even admitting that to a recruiter is gonna be far better than saying, well what is your budget for the role? A lot is in the follow-up, right? Don't wait to follow up.

Whether you're a new grad, an established professional or contemplating a career change, Get Hired is for you. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you like to listen. How come none of us have been on Sesame Street or the Muppet Show? I think we might be a little dirtay for their style. They got Oscar the Grouch. They don't need another dirty dumpster diver like us. That's where I'd want to go. I'd want to do a camera.

Man, come on. We're dirty dogs. Let's begin the scene with Grover. Let's hang with the Grouch. I'm trying to kick it with my homies, Bert and Ernie. Are they gay together? I'll never tell. I thought that they said they were. Didn't they just announce that somebody's gay? I think so.

I think they did. Yeah, but when I'm there with them, like am I fucking all of them? Oh, are you? They go back into the closet because of Adam. Right. Hey, I don't know. I'll never tell.

I'll never tell. He's the friend that they can't be themselves around. Right. Hey, I don't know. I'll never tell. I'll never tell. He's the friend that they can't be themselves around. Right. They're like, Oh, Hey Adam. Yeah, no, man. We love watching football with you, dude. It's freaking cool. Not that gay people can't watch football. Go Huskers. Just like, uh, just don't judge us. We could do like a cool curse word section with Oscar the grouch. Oh, yeah. I feel like that's our thing Yeah, that would be where we'd get on there is like like what's the naughty words fuck you? That's the count don't say fuck

Love against the snuffle up against talk. Yeah, he had a real weird voice. I feel like he was kind of like really... No, he was hella sad. I don't think I liked him. I was like, this guy's a loser. His eyelashes were weird, dude. He was like depressing. We were on strike. We went on strike. We basically were on strike. Right. For a week.

And Adam, thank you for coming to our terms. Yeah. We appreciate it. We do appreciate it. Thanks for being flexible. We Adam, thank you for coming to our terms. Yeah. We appreciate it. We do appreciate it. Thanks for being flexible. We were negotiated against me somehow. I think both of us left the table a little angry, which means both of us are happy.

So it's a good thing. That is absolutely right. I think we found the middle. Thanks, thank you. We really did. What else? Anything else happen? Anything at all?

So you guys at home, I'm only gonna be here for seven more minutes. Contractually. It's in the contract. Contractually, that's the deal. That's part of the deal that you guys came away with? Mm-hmm. Okey dokey.

Well, it's meal breaks. We now get meal breaks on the pod. Well, thank God. Yeah, I feel like we've been snacking on the pod. Is this a meal break? There's gotta pay day right there. Oh shit, yeah it does. Oh, pay day. Damn, that's got a payday right there. Oh shit. Yeah, he does. Oh payday damn That's the biggest payday I've ever seen. Yes. This is almost as big as a

king-size It's about the size of my whatsapp. Who's that? Hold up? Who are now? Who's wait? Do you like you like paydays was that a choice or was that a gift? Yeah choice obviously nice. There's likes paydays. Yes choice Uh, I don't know. I feel like paydays is down the rung on the candy bar Hierarchy, well it for sure is but I could see durrs durrs is looking for an experience He's looking for something Special he's not no one tried and true. He wants that. Thank you. He wants that weird off, offshoot.

Or he's eating this. Yeah, he wants a lot of nuts. Cause we, look, we get Snickers all the time. We get Twix all the time. See here. I knew there, I knew there's a backstory here. And sometimes you gotta shake it up. And when's the last time you had a payday?

Bro, all the time. Every time I go to Home Depot. What? But like, hey. Right. Wait, what you do, you're true, why is payday a specific Home Depot treat? I love getting paydays, bro.

I love paydays. Yeah, I need to know your Home Depot experience. Because it does taste like sawdust a little bit. Oh, man. I just, you're inspired by the sawdust taste in there. It is kind of just like a thing of glue with sawdust wrapped around it. Yeah, I got no gripe with your choice, bro.

My gripe is with your choice of size. That's too much payday in one sitting. That's a lot of payday. Yeah, that's like a shack dick of a payday. That's a lot. That's a little greedy. You know me. Guys, I know Ders.

Ders is gonna want maybe a little leftover payday. Yeah, okay. He's gonna want some R.O. payday. Yeah, okay. He's gonna want it tomorrow payday. Oh, gross, dude. He's gonna fold it in half, all perfect-like. Payday for tomorrow. Yeah, you can't save a payday. You put a little coin in your purse.

That's what I call it. What do you mean you can't save a payday? It's a savings bar. It's the most, you can say, I bet that thing will look like a payday 2000 years from now. You put it on layaway. Wait, are paydays covered in chocolate or are they just like peanuts glued together with like nougat or something?

Blake Anderson has entered the chat. Thank you, God! That's life! Hey, have we ever told the story about what happened on our hidden camera show? Satan? I don't know. Satan?

Remember? Oh, I've... We had a hidden camera show. How crazy is that? We were the impractical jokers before the impractical jokers. Thank you. Can we start some beef with the impractical jokers?

I'm Sal. I'm Sal. No, I wanna be Sal. Yeah, hell yeah, you're Sal. I'm Sal, sorry, I'm Sal. I wanna be the other one. They rock, by the way. Impractical Jokers rock, but let's get to the story. Yeah, we've partied with them at Comic-Con.

They freaking rock. They know how to dance, too. Yeah, them hips don't lie. Okie dokie. We fucked those guys, we fucked those guys. So we did a hidden camera show in Las Vegas and We like had one scenario where we dressed up as people in a cult and we ordered a pizza and the whole thing was like Deliveries and you would come to the house. There's cameras everywhere and you'd come into like a crazy situation

And we were the crazy situation and we're in Las Vegas. Yes. Yes, yes. In BF Las Vegas, not on the strip. We were like on the outer skirts of Las Vegas. Right. We actually shot that show in the- In the house. The house that- From? From Casino.

Casino. That De Niro lived in. Yep, small world. Yeah, a lot of cum on those carpets. Yeah, it was covered in jizz, very crusty. We were dressed as a cult, and when the person came in, we tried to like lure them

into our like, um, ritual that we're doing, right? And this fucking enormous biker comes in and he does not look like he's fucking around. But one of the other people in this group was like, yeah, come on in, come on back here. And we were all like, get it, get it, get it, get it. And he was like, what's going on here. And she starts kind of spelling out what our cult is. And then the guy goes, I get it. I understand.

I've lived a thousand lives and I keep coming back to kill a woman named Catherine and we all. And she was, he was dead serious. Dead serious. He, he was, he like thought he found us. Yeah. It was a trick. Like, we are kindred spirits and he's a pizza delivery guy who was like in his 50s, grizzled,

older guy. Like a biker looking guy. Scary. Yeah, tough looking guy. Uh, absolutely insane. Yeah. And then we had to be like, oh yeah, well, uh, here, hold this and say blah, blah, blah, blah to the god of whatever. Yeah, and then we had to be like, oh, yeah Well here hold this and say blah blah blah blah to the god of whatever Yeah, and so we're like punking him and because he's on the hidden camera show and then we have to say well

Here's the tip right you're on special delivery a hidden camera show on myspace TV No, the guy has just admitted to like murders murders Yeah He said he had killed people before and he keeps coming back. And he like described how he was like a little boy and we were like, oh, huh? Okay.

What? And yeah, it was one of those moments when you're looking in his eyes and it's only truth there. Like this guy, you knew you were in a room with Satan. And when we said that line about this show on MySpaceTV, his face starts darting around like what? No, he made a noise. He went right, right, right. And he looks around at all of us and we're like, ha, like jazz hands. And then like producers

start coming out and then he starts steaming and he starts yelling at people He says I'm gonna go get my AK 47 and when I come back I'm gonna murder or can't shoot everyone here and then he took off on his Motorcycle or in a Jeep. Yeah motorcycle, right? I think it was a motorcycle which was an insane way to deliver a pizza to you Yeah, you're gonna judge him on that. It seems like it would get cold. He was really cool.

He seemed cool, but who does that? Yeah, the pizza got a little cold. I feel like the pizza would get really cold really fast on a motorcycle. Yeah, well it's in the bag, but you know. Right. And I don't even know if we wrapped. I think we were like, yeah,

we're gonna get the fuck out of here We're done all the producers were like mate. Look we would I was ready to jump in and we're like Were you to do what I know and there was no security. It's not like we had the actual security, you know What I mean, it's not like there was like we should have hired one person one Just big guy to be security someone with a gun right a shack one shack one Seven foot tall man one Kimbo slice. Yeah I went and saw Metallica last night, which was kind of a dream Yeah, I was kind of a dream concert and the awesome opening bands Greta Van Vliet, Cage the Elephant. Cool.

Didn't see either of them. Cage the Elephant? Mm-hmm. Wow. Didn't see either. Not sure I could sign off on that. Free the Elephant. Right, yeah, right, conceptually.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. They're a band, though, they're just a band. And by the way, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. That old phrase. Tune into the pleasures ours to know what we're talking about. But I got to, we, you know, it's hard to get there for an opening, the opening act. It started at seven o'clock.

I'm like, I had to work yesterday. I had to work on a Saturday. It sucked. So, I barely got home in time to make the turnaround to go see, because Greta Van Vliet fucking rules. I wanted to see them badly. And so does KG Elephant. So I was excited to see.

Is Greta Van Vliet a person? Or is that just like a weird name of a band? I think that's the little girl. Isn't that the, that's the little girl who does the, Yeah, isn't that the girl who's into, No, that's creative, no. You just really wanted to see her talk about global warming live.

The climate, yeah. Yeah, yeah. This is despicable, these lights, the wind power takes to light the stadium, must stop. I think it's pretty cool and progressive for Metallica to have her right before their turn. Yeah, that's huge. They're like, give me fuel, give me fire.

And speaking of fossil fuels, you can't. Fuels and fuel, no more fires. Kill them all. Kill them all. Well, funny you should say kill them all because the climate is- We will all die. We if uh the icebergs melt. Sleep with one eye open?

Because icebergs have to sleep with one eye open. Because the ozone's melting. Because the freaking ozone. The amount of UV rays getting through is absolutely stunning. Everybody's like, ah fucking Lars called this chicken here is really into it Freaking Lars Freaking Lars. Well, that's fucking dude. I mean, holy shit Metallica One of the greatest bands of all freaking time dude, very cool

Very cool. I went with our manager Isaac and that was awesome. He was having a great time Oh, yeah punk rock, but then also I went with Chloe and then Nina Dobrev and her friend Erica and Nina's in the movie with me in the outlaws and none of these girls knew Metallica not even like one song right they're just like whoa okay not even one not even like one song really was like, finally at the very end, they played like Enter Sandman or some shit. And they were like, okay, I kind of heard no this one. Yeah.

Really? Yeah, crazy. I feel like if you've ever been to a carnival, you've heard Metallica. Like, I feel like that's the first time. That is a good point. Yeah. Every time I'm going to a carnival. Dude, I have a very specific memory

of being on the Tilt-A-Whirl and the dude playing Metallica And I'm being like what is this band holy shit? Do you remember at the Camden Martinique where we used to live in Costa Mesa in? Costa Mesa and I had the I had a giant poster of James Dean in my bathroom Oh cool, dude, Hollywood because I think I went to Hot Topic and bought a bunch of posters. And then people, I don't know, we had some, it was like a theater thing came over to my house.

And all the gay dudes in the theater group were like, oh, I didn't know you were a gay dude. I'm like, I'm not a what? They're like, James Dean, he's a gay icon. Ugh. And they were like, whoa. Great ass. They're like, he's a gay icon like a gay icon. Ugh. And they were like, whoa. Great ass. They're like, he's a gay icon and you have it,

it was like basically over my bed, it was right there. And I'm like, I didn't know, I didn't know, it's okay. I'm fine with it. I wasn't aware. Fast forward to Little Nas X. I didn't know that, I didn't know that. I should have just had that and like Wizard of Oz shit above my bed.

Yeah, I knew about Wizard of Oz. And Little Nas X. Well. Yeah, you should have. Early, early Nas Lil Nas X. Well... Yeah, you should. Early, early Nas X. Early Nas X when he was like nine. It's super weird that I have it over my bed. Very illegal.

This kid is gonna be good. Did you say nine? Yeah, because he's so much younger than me. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? Ow. Goes lower? I met Santi at a luau party in October. I'm Santi. Damien.

Oh, it was bizarre. The guy just disappeared one day. Santi has been missing ever since. The hookup. What is that? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Like, no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to... The hookup. You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to f-

Yeah, that's a word for it. This is such terrible representation, I'm so sorry. Poppers? These aren't just any poppers. Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. No, my psychiatrist didn't laugh at that one either. ["I Heart Radio App"]

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Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. I did do a thing with Fozzie Bear and Miss Piggy. Weird, wild stuff. They're cool. What do you mean? That's on the Muppets, right? Yeah, Muppets. Okay, but not Sesame Street. Oh, we're talking Sesame Street.

There is a line there, right? Yeah. There isn't a line totally because you know who crosses the line? Who? Kermit. Kermit the Frog's on both. True. Yeah, that's true. Good point, Blake. But Kermit was like a guest.

Blake fucking shuts it down. I feel like Kermit was a guest on Sesame Street. Like he's not a part of the fucking cast. He was like a guest. Right. I'm just being real. Kermit was very in there. He was like the news reporter. He'd be like, Kermit the Frog here reporting live.

I don't think that's Sesame Street. Is that Sesame Street? He just, relax Kyle. He just wanted to do his impression. He just needed a moment. You can do it more. Do it again. What does it sound like?

Go ahead. Yeah, hello. This is Kermit the Frog here reporting live from the pond. From the pond, exactly. That was pretty good. That was honestly pretty good. Do you know Brian Henson personally? Blake's is better admittedly doing when I did that thing with Fuzzy and I think it was miss piggy

Like the people that the puppeteers were so fucking cool Of course, they're cool they're all like 70 years old Haha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm like, man, what a cool gig that they've had for 50 years. Oh man. One of the coolest things I did while I was in Atlanta shooting woke season two coming soon next year was go to the, the, the puppetry center, like the museum. And they have a whole wing dedicated to Jim Henson and they have all these photos from like the seventies where it's them like coming up with the show. And it's just like behind the scenes. So it's just like all these hippie bros with their hands up puppets, asses, just standing there. But it's like coming up with the show and it's just behind the scenes, so it's just all these hippie bros with their hands up puppets asses just standing there,

but it's like, man, what a cool time. The dream. Did you say puppet bros? Puppet bros. Why, what are you? Well, is it? You know why I can't stand fucking puppet bros? Let's go!

Just these fucking puppet bros. Puppet bros are ruining puppetry. Everyone's gotta be a fucking puppet bro now. It used to be puppet artists and now it's puppet bros. They get into the whole thing for the wrong reason. Crank anchors changed everything. Yeah, they scream let's go before every time. They're adding weights to their puppets.

Get a little shoulder workout. Just work in their lats. It drives me crazy. Okay, places please people. Let's go. Could you imagine Jim Henson just with two weighted puppets? Like, yeah, these fucking puppet bros, they stick their hand in there and they don't even ask permission.

Why is there a museum of puppetry in Atlanta? Is Jim Henson from Atlanta? I don't think he is actually. That was like the weird part of it. No, there's one up in Seattle too though. I remember seeing it up in Seattle. My follow-up question is, why is there a puppetry museum in Seattle?

Well, I think it was just coming through when I saw it up there. OK, an exhibit because I saw it in L.A. when it was at the Getty. Yeah, I think it moves like I saw like Beaker and I saw the puppets as well. It was very cool. Well, this museum is a permanent installment in Atlanta. It's very cool. It's just one wing of it is dedicated to Jim Henson and they have a ton of like sick relics.

But then the other wing is like puppets throughoutenson and they have a ton of like sick relics, but then the other wing is like puppets throughout history and of the world. And those are mad interesting too, but. There must be a huge puppet market down there in Atlanta or something. That's probably in its roots. Lot of puppet bros in Hotlanta. I don't doubt it.

That's fucking cool. The puppet bros. Pupplanta. The puppet bro scene is totally totally as Kyle would say, vibe bro in Atlanta. It's just like lifted trucks and fricking just lots of felt, just tons of felt and googly eyes. Puppet nuts.

Uh huh. Yeah. Lifted trucks and puppet nuts. Right. Bro, I love your gonzo. Your gonzo is sick. Yeah. That was fucking epic.

Gonzo was sick too. I'd love to do a scene with Gonzo. Yeahzo's sick. Yeah. I don't fucking remember. Gonzo was sick too. I'd love to do a scene with Gonzo. Yeah, hell yeah dude. Oh my god, I'd love to do a scene. Oh, so what is your, you go to a movie. What is your go to? What to movie today? What?

I feel like that is the one where you always kind of pick the same thing. Cause I get the same. Oh yeah. I got a line up for sure. I don't like to eat at the movies. But you snack, you snack, correct? What do you mean nothing?

No, I don't like to. You're not snacking? I will say this, I have. Oh my God! But I don't, I definitely don't get a drink. Because then you got to take a piss and you're sitting there for the last 20 minutes of the movie and you're just like, ugh.

Just go out and go pee. It's fine if you miss, you know when to leave. Yeah, you know. No, no, no, no. There is a website that tells you like when to go to the bathroom. You guys know about that? Really?

Yeah, it's like, if you go right now, you can go. You can feel it out. I don't want to. I want to give myself to the experience. All right, that's cool. I don't like getting the popcorn butter on my finger. It's just, it's too messy. You've already touched.

Bro. You're in a public movie theater, the dirtiest place in the world your feet are sticking okay I like this less and less the more you know just like I gave myself the experience I'd co-sign this really that's the dumbest thing I've said so far oh hey well it gives himself to the experience okay you know you want to just really concentrate on whatever movie you're watching. Okay, sure. But that's it. I don't want to be chewing and like.

Chewing? Yeah, if you get Sour Patch Kids. Yeah, Blake, what do you mean chewing? You have to chew your food. Good luck chewing a Whopper and having no one know about it. Crinkle, crinkle. Yeah, I don't know.

But what did your guys go to? Mine is a I get a medium sized soda. It's half Dr. Pepper half Coke Zero. There we go, that's my guy. Fuck with that crushed ice. Small popcorn

and large one of those very expensive Dasani waters. I like to just have it, just to treat myself. Why? You get a soda and a water. Is that to wash your hands? You pour it over your hand? So you drink tons of liquid.

I double down, and I piss three times throughout the movie. You tickle. If it's an 80 minute movie, I'm pissing three times, dude. I'm pissing so much. I'm not worried about the pee pee during the movie. I'll just run out pee, come back. Really? Yeah, yeah, I'm really? out, pee, come back. It's fine. Yeah, yeah, I ain't really.

It's not a big deal. It's all good. No, that's, movies are way too expensive to be missing even a second of the fucking film. And if you run into a friend in the bathroom. Oh yeah, and then you're chit-chatting, or if you have to rub one out. Yeah, what?

What's that? What was that, boy? Should we go outside and do a selfie next to the stand-up? I mean, like these things, you can't, yeah. Yeah, sure. What if the pee-pee turns into a poo poo and the next thing you know you're in there for a while?

Well, see, the poo poo could come out during the movie anyways, in which case you would have to go take care of it. You can't just hold in the poo poo. You can. I can hold in a poo poo. I can. Let's go.

I can't, I have to, I feel like, no, I feel like I have to hold in the poo poo. You can't hold in a poo poo long, I can hold that way longer than a pee pee. Me too. Really? No, if I have to poo poo, a thousand percent. I have to hold in the poop you can't hold in a Bool I can hold that way longer than a peepee me too really no if I have to poopoo a thousand percent go poopoo what yeah wait you guys are better at holding poop in then pee absolutely dude it's so much easier to hold a poopoo in than a peepee that shit's in yeah cuz cuz the poopoo just backs up the peepee there's nowhere it can't go anywhere it's a a bladder's full. Oh, you don't drink coffee.

This is true. You don't drink coffee. This is true. That is true. I drink a lot of coffee. Okay. And you can hold your poo-poos more than your pee-pees. Yes.

You should see it. Yeah. I would love to. Hey. I can hold my poo-poo for days if I had to. Excuse, dude, that seems like that's unhealthy. That's gonna start to hurt. It is.

You're backed up, bud. You gotta clean out them pipes. Yeah. It is unhealthy and I don't practice anymore. Yeah. Practice? I'm not a practicing holder. We're talking about practice.

Oh yeah, did we talk about this once upon a time? Did you used to see how long you could go without shitting or was that one of your homies? No, that's not me. I did have, sorry bro, no, that's not me, dog. If anything, I think the more fun thing would be like, how many shits did you take today? Well, that's not a challenge as much as it is fun.

Are we talking about a challenge? Yeah, it's like a fun thing to do with friends, like a fun game to play with friends. Hey, did you poop again? Yeah, me too. Did you? Dude, we're blowing this bathroom up today. This day is legendary.

Let's live stream it. God, we're shitting so much. Live streaming, how many poops? Just eating so much chili and coffee all day long. Dude, that TikTok don't take a shit challenge? Man, that's gonna be hot, dude. That's gonna be hot. But you have to dance.

Day six. You have to dance, so you're like. Day six. You have to dance. You're like, oh shit. You have to dance, you have to do like weird claps and jiggles with your hands. Shaking it out. So good. Oh, I love jigs.

You gotta do claps and jiggles with your fucking cheeks. No do do. Something's gonna be jiggling. I'm gonna put out one of those skinny waist, pretty face and a big base. And I'm just gonna clap my butt cheeks in front of the camera. I'm gonna do one of those.

Dude, I can see that. I could see that, yeah. That's your first TikTok? I think maybe we gotta do one for that butt challenge that we had to each other back in the day. Yeah, now that we're- If you're just joining us now. What was our butt challenge?

When we said who had the best butt, I think we gotta do the skinny waist, pretty face. I'm sure, yeah, that was pretty- Great ass! Universally, he was known as me, I feel. Well, that's not what I said. Pretty universal. Pretty universal.

Now that we're on YouTube, I feel like we can really get straight to the source. Oh, great ass. If we ever have guests on this is important, we have to have the most important guests. And by that, you mean Joe Biden? No, I mean, Taz Ande. Yeah, I got you. I'm with you. Well, then we would be kind of that's kind of what Tosh. Oh did if we could shout out to our brother in arms, let's give him flowers. Right. Let's give Tosh some flowers. Did we come on after Tosh ever work? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we did. We would do that. Absolutely. Oh yeah, he was a great lead in. Yeah, yes he was. We would hold his audience.

We did. Let's be clear though, plenty of other shows had viral video concepts where it's like, let's watch this and then we'll. Ridiculousness much? I know, but he actually added to it. He makes it better, you know what I mean? Yeah. Right, right.

Can't say the same for the rest of those shows. Okay, dang bro. Right, Tosh was very funny. I'm not saying I won't, I'm saying I can't. He physically can't. Didn't they have the surfer on and that was cool? Whoop-hap! That guy? Yeah, the whoop-hap guy.

Like whoop-hap, whoop-hap, and then he just bite the lip and then drop right in. Whoop-hap! Now that we're so deep into internet culture, there are so many great videos from the past and present. And they just keep coming. I love the internet, guys. It rocks. Yeah, you can't beat it.

I love your content. Did you guys see this thing on the internet, this content of Cardi B? And she's being interviewed by Jimmy Fallon. And Jimmy Fallon goes, what is if it's up and it's stuck? by Jimmy Fallon. And Jimmy Fallon goes, what is if it's up and it's stuck? What does that mean? What is up and stuck?

Oh, I didn't click on that. Yeah, and she goes, well, you know when you poop and it won't come out? Yeah, uh-huh, yes, I'm listening. Then it's up and it's stuck. And Jimmy Fallon's face was just like... Diarrhea. I mean, it was like.

Is that what she's talking about in the song? Evidently, and if that is true, first of all funniest thing in the world that she's just talking about constipation in a song. But it's like also so funny that like, people around the world are like in the club, like shaking their ass. To when it's up and it's stuck, and it's up and it's done. I thought you were saying when it's up, then it's up then it's up

This is what the video said man, I don't know I don't know I don't even know what song that is But I would say like when it's up and it's stuck It's like when you got a boner and it just won't go down sure then you put it in your belt loop Here comes Cardi B. Yeah, but then why is Cardi B? Rapping about that she she doesn't have a boner because she's here to take care of it Oh, she's gonna take care of the boner. All right. Yeah, I hope I assume so for her whoever what's it? Whatever? I don't know for Quavo. Yeah Quavo on and off very Yeah But she's the one saying this right she's interpreting her own song

That's what she interpreted it to Jimmy Fallon. It says about constipation Well, she I mean, I'm assuming she wrote it with those with those lyrics I don't think there was a ghostwriter writing about constipation for her that seems like yeah But there might be a ghostwriter at Jimmy Fallon who's like hey, it'd be funny to say this right true true I don't know if they're if they're pitching shit jokes on Jimmy Fallon who's like, hey, it'd be funny to say this. Right. True. True. I don't know if they're pitching shit jokes on Jimmy Fallon. Of course they are. They're like, hey, do you want to do this? This could be funny. She's like, okay, cool. That is funny. Right. It's a disgusting habit.

I do see that. If you're not a comedian, you come in, they're like, hey, do you have any stories? And we have stories. And they go great. So many stories. God damn our stories. Cardi B? Oh gosh, which by the way. What's up Blake? Okay Blake, let's hear it.

What Blake? What's up Blake? I was on Ellen, I did the Ellen show. Ellen? Oh, let's give you your flowers. Wow. No dude. I've always thought you were funny

and you deserve to go on Ellen, how was it? It was terrible. Okay. Okay. I am honestly talking about substances. I'm about to fucking fall off the wagon. Take a, take a melatonin. That's a sleep enhancer.

Yeah. Enhancer. Should we take five? Should we just take a little break here? And I mean, we all know that what I, what I stay sipping on every night, which is a Z-quill. You're still doing this. Oh, boy. A cup of Z-quill mixed with some soda water.

Do not try this at home. It's my night night. I have it every night. This is 38. Are you going to make it to 40? Come on. Are you still? Adam, hold on.

No, because this is crazy. Look at me, look at me, dude. This is 38? Fucking look at me, dude. I'm worried about the inside, not the outside. Outside's great, very kissable. Thank you. Tell me again what the concoction is. It's been a while since we ran down this, I forgot.

Okay, it is a, it is a disgusting habit. It is Z-Quil, the purple flavor, you know? So Z-Quil is where you're asking your liver to work overtime. It's not NyQuil. It's not NyQuil. Yeah, okay. And it's non-habit forming,

although I do have it every night. Right, I've got it down to a sign. Yeah, yeah. Although I can't go to sleep unless I have it. Okay. And so then I put it in like a can of La Croix over ice, you know, like a lemon La Croix over ice, and I mix it together, and every once in a while, put a little vodka in it,

you know, from... You know that's lean. You're just drinking lean. Yeah, you're purely making like homemade, like moonshine lean. That's not lean. It's not lean, it's a softened lean. It's like a over-the-counter lean, right? Yeah, it's over-the-counter. It's a little slant. It's it's like over-the-counter lean

It's a little slant because you can't get lean over the counter anymore I can't get lean over the counter, but the Z quill but I bet you the Product that's in it though is just named something else and got a different distribution channel, dude I and I'm not I'm not like I'm not drinking half a bottle I'm doing what the amount that they say to do, the one scoop. 12 liters. If you're sick, it's supposed to be for sick. No, no, no. Zequil is just for sleeping.

Yeah, Zequil's a sleep aid. Oh, okay. Nyquil is if you're sick. And I've tried that too, believe me. And it's not as good. The Zequil's actually pretty tasty. Oh, oh, ah, ah. Sorry.

Trust Adam, you can drink an entire bottle of that stuff and it just does not kick in enough. Well, what's up? You say vodka sometimes. Is that real, ma'am? Or are you hitting the vodka every night? No, that's every time. No, it's not every time.

Yeah, that's what I want to know. I want to discern this. It's not every time. It's not every time. Is it real? Not every time. I mean, this guy goes to Metallica shows, dude. Of course he's going for it.

It's not every time. So tonight, what I'm doing, cause you know, I got to wake up at 5 a.m. tomorrow, right? But for work. Six or seven of these things. Oh my God. How are you gonna get up? That's why I'm gonna take the melatonin

because I gotta fucking get down. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah, we gotta hit our Z's. Me and Ky Guy gotta go night night. We're on the East Coast. Bro, for real. Yeah.

But aren't you worried about getting up and how you feel in the morning? Won't you be sluggish? No, cause there's coffee. No, no, no, no, no. And I am up and how you feel in the morning? Won't you be sluggish? No, because there's coffee. No, no, no, no. And I am drinking a lot of coffee in the morning. Oh, my God. Your poor body is like... What I do is I exactly.

Yeah. I wake up. I have I have a pre brew pot. I just hit the little button. I take my shower. I chug one cup of coffee. Then I have three venti iced Starbucks until lunchtime. The cause of diarrhea. Then I have three venti iced Starbucks until lunchtime. The cause of diarrhea. Then I have lunch.

Then I have a Red Bull mixed with a La Croix. That's my afternoon go juice. Yeah. And then usually maybe two diet cokes to round out the day. And then I come home. You still have fucking diet cokes. You're still doing that. I can't do a diet coke.

I'll get a heartburn. Your heart must look like Freddy Krueger's face. And then I come home. Then I take pre-workout. Then I work out, learn my lines. You do pre-workout at night? Pre-workout is what's that again? After I go home. It's caffeine. And then I do that. I work out. And then usually I'll learn my lines while on the bike or whatever's whatever I have to memorize for the day. And then, uh, and then, you know, take my lane, right? This is the way my night and go to bed. That is so much caffeine.

I'm still going to send it. Why don't you skip, skip the, skip the workout, the free workout when that felt like one you could get rid of. Well, because then I won't go workout. Like I don't, I just don't have the energy after, you know, after working. Are't I just don't have the energy after you know after working Are you sure you don't have the energy? Are you sure after all the the potion? Yeah, and I don't do it I know I do I do do it every day. Are you sure you actually don't have the energy? That's my question because I know you fucking go you don't need this shit

You're divine divine run at a high octane no matter what yeah, we do You're divine, divine run at a high octane no matter what, bro. Yeah, we do. Nice. Thank you. The intervention? Thank you. And this is how it would work on me, an intervention, with just a lot of compliments being like, I know you, I know you, dude.

Dude, you're good. You're good. You don't need it. But no, I do. And then you kind of dodge it and go, but I'm going to keep doing it. Well, we're going to keep doing it. You don't though, bro. I mean, I know I'm on the grind too.

It's fucking tiring. I get it, bro. I get it, doggy. Kyle, we gotta keep doing you don't though, bro. You don't I mean I know I'm on the grind too It's fucking tiring. I need it bro. I get it doggy You're working out. No, but I mean this whole fucking wake up and I'm alive. Yeah Waking up Kyle means by the grind he means he's waking up Instead of like trying to make like a really good movie for like the next movie that we do together besides the workaholics movie, we should do we should just get a hold of like sci fi channel and go, Hey, we'll make your fucking silly little sharknado disaster movies because that seems so damn fun to do. I mean, the sharknado movies get like fucking 20 million people watching it. Absolutely

Hey, dude, maybe what about fucking let's make croctopus Let's croctopus. Is that an eight-arm alligators connected together eight crocodiles croctopus, bro. Let's go Are you coming up with that right now right now? Yeah, you just came up with croctopus. That's right. Now. That's are you fucking serious? Yep, correct. Wait, hold on. No, hang on right now. That's are you fucking serious? Yep, correct? Oh, no, hang on a second. Hang on. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this Kyle that would sell in the room dude if you if you if we went to I just you just made that up Bullshit, I just made that up bullshit. I don't believe you. What do you want me to swear on?

What do you want me to swear on anything? What do you have around you fucking cup of coffee swear on it? I mean we could do this all day and we can sell this in the room. I love croctopus What do you want me to swear on? Anything. What do you have around you? Fucking cup of coffee. Swear on it. I mean we could do this all day and we could sell this in the room. I love croctopus. Bro, let's do it. Are you seeing it as something like eight heads? Vol- Vol- Volcano Beaver. And it's just a volcano that just erupts beavers, dude.

Wait, Adam, hang on. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. Did you just make that up? I just made that up. There's no way. There's no way. You just made up Vol-Cain the Beaver? Vol-Cain the Beaver. Vol-Cain Beaver. You guys got together before this and rolled all these down.

Hey, I got one. Huricats. You're joking. You tried to be mad. See? Hey, guess what? Sold in the room. Huricats? Sold in the room, dude. Snake dog. Wait, snake dog? Snake dogs every day. We're going to have to pass.

We're going, we just, we just want to stop at Volcano Beaver. We have one budget. We have one purse and Volcano Peeper. Volcano Be we have one purse and volcano peeper. Volcano beaver has the one up there. Volcano beavers got legs, man. So are you seeing them as like- Why is there a D in there?

No one knows and no one should know, man. Duh. Volcano beavers. Volcano beavers. So are they like beavers that can swim in molten lava and they like are like damming up the lava? And then when it erupts, it erupts and then there's beavers just everywhere doing their piss.

They're pissed because they've just been in lava. Let's go! They're hella hot and bothered. By the way, this is probably how they do it. Like the executives are like, is it like a beaver that can swim in lava? You're like, hot and bothered. By the way, this is probably how they do it. The executives are like, is it like a beaver that can swim in lava? You're like, yes, absolutely it is. Absolutely.

And can these beavers come out of lava and bite through anything? Yes, yes they can, exactly. Yeah, yeah, because they're the molten lava toughen them up, exactly. And... Right, right, right yes that's right do you remember what you said the first night i came over here ow goes lower i met santi at a

luau party in october i'm santi damien oh it was bizarre the guy just disappeared one day santi has been missing ever since. The hookup, what is that? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Like, no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to... The hookup, you think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to...

Yeah, that's a word for it. This is such terrible representation, I'm so sorry. Poppers? These aren't just any poppers. Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. No, not my psychiatrist didn't laugh at that one either. ["I Heart Radio App," by The Bachelorette plays.]

Listen to the hookup on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse and so many commercials about back pain. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to tell them a buckwild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms,

Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Zoe Chow. Titanic. Charles Manson. Alcatraz. Asada Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime. Charlie Chao. Titanic. Charles Manson. Alcatraz. Asada Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime.

I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Some people won't give you the real talk on drugs, but it's time we know the facts. Fentanyl is often laced into illicit drugs and used to make fake versions of prescription pills. You can't see it, taste it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap, and the dealer

might not even know. Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts. Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica.

And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women then this is your tribe. With guests like Corinne Stephens. I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happen. And then everybody else want to get pissed off because the white said it

was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter her first day of ninth grade and I called to ask how I was doing. She was like, oh dad, all they was doing was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school. And slumflower. What turns me on is when a man sends me money. Like I feel the moisture between my legs when a man sends me money. I'm like, oh my god, it's go time.

You actually sent it? Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you go to find your podcast. Where did Fraggle Rock come from? Is that Muppet Babies? Fraggle Rock was an HBO show separate.

It's Jim Henson, but it's a completely different show. Were they in the show as cartoons? No. Skeeter was kind of, he looked like one of those Fraggles, but no. And his sister. Fraggle Rock was my shit. I loved Fraggle Rock.

Yeah, you look like a doozer. Yeah, I look like a bull doozer. Bull doozer. Bull doozer. I mean, that's where it came from. You named your wizard rap character, I mean, you met a wizard rapper named Bulldozer. Bulldozer. I mean, that's where it came from. You named your wizard rap character, I mean, you met a wizard rapper named Bulldozer and you guys hit it off.

So I'm writing my vows right now for the wedding. Oh yes. Like go! Let's go! Right now, so if I look distracted. I want you to be the fraggle to my dozer. Let's go! No, it did, the first draft of it was like a lot of references to the wizards.

Uh-huh. Uh- What do you mean? What? Shut up, bitch! I've since uh- I've since toned it- toned it back and pulled those references out. Uh-huh. Wow! This is why you should do a few drafts of your vows so you don't just uh-

No! Come in real hot. I gotta ask- Wait, what? What were these references, what and why were these references? Was it wizards never die much like love? Here we go, here we go. I mean, that was the end. I swear to you that was how I was gonna end it. And then I was gonna start it with, to quote Chloe's favorite 2006 seminal hip-hop rap syndicate from another world,

The Wizards, poof pow surprise, what's with your eyes, I'm so hypnotized and I still am. Oh my god! And then go into the vows and then end with, as they say, motherfucking wizards never die, much like our love, I love you, Chloe. Shut up! Shut up! Yeah. Pfft.

Pfft. You can't. Uh, yeah, all right. I'm glad we're talking about this. I'm glad we're talking this through. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is good. So I wrote that draft and then gave it a day,

slept on it yeah and then came back and looked at it in in the morning light and was like ah no when you say morning light it's like after you sobered up did you write it very drunk no not drunk haven't drank for like over a month okay okay no sir I don't like hey there you go yeah it sucks actually I, it sucks, actually, I hate it. It sucks. What happened? Fuck it! Why are you doing it then?

Are you trapped? Are you trapped somewhere? Yeah. I mean, good for you. A month is a long time to go without a little drink. Yeah, so it was like the bachelor party and everything and then like a few other things where I was just like kind of drinking

and eating a lot like a pig. And I was like pushing 200 pounds. a lot like a pig and I was like Pushing 200 pounds and I look at them and I'm like Jesus. I'm five foot eight. I can't be 200 pounds That's a big fucking boy. And I'm like, oh man, I got a wedding I have this movie the outlaws that I'm gonna be shooting right after the wedding I'm like I gotta roll right into that. I gotta tighten up the game. Well, then you gotta be 200 you're gonna roll into it I know yeah I did that and then and then this week I was like oh you know two weeks ago I was like I might have a drink or two you

know but you know really tighten it up so we go not a month two weeks ago no but a month ago I stopped just checking and then two weeks ago I got COVID oh whoa wait wait hold on hold on, hold on. Yeah. So you knew that. We talked about that the other day, but yeah. So then I got fucking COVID and actually like, and I'm vaccinated, which is fucked up.

Breakthrough. Breakthrough. And everyone that I've heard that has had a breakthrough, They loved it, right? They're like, oh, it was nothing, dude. It was like, it was in and out of my system in a day. It fucking knocked my ass to the ground. For like three days, I had a fever.

I was like all fucked up. Finish him. Today's my 10th day. I'm ending my quarantine today. And I'm fine, finally. Like I'm finally fine. Oh my gosh. I did hear on the same day I heard about you,

I heard about another friend of mine in New York who's a writer and he said him and his wife had a breakthrough case and it knocked him down for three weeks. Oh! Goodbye. After post vaccination, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm so glad that ours wasn't that bad. And we're both testing negative in everything already,

so that's a good thing. But for a minute I was like, am I gonna have to cancel the fucking wedding? Oh, that would be terrible. Like after everything. Terrible. This would be a goddamn nightmare. So that fucking wedding? Oh, that would be terrible. Like after everything, this would be a goddamn nightmare. So for that type. Dude, that would've been crazy.

I would've kept those tickets and still gone just to kind of celebrate for you, you know? I know, I know, everybody would have. Oh yeah. Everyone would have. And we've already paid for everything. And I was like talking to Chloe, I'm like, how do we get our money back?

Yeah. Especially for like the booze. I'm like, how do we get our money back? Yeah. Especially for like the booze. I'm like, cause the fuck it, you know, it's like a lot of money for the bar tab. And I'm like, well, they're not just going to throw away the alcohol. Right. Yeah. Alcohol stays good.

Oh, for sure. It stays. So you're saving up. You're gearing up for the wedding. That's when you're going to kind of break the seal. Yeah, basically. And also just like- Waaah! Waaah!

Waaah! I wanted to get better. So I'm not going to, Uh, yeah, basically. And also just like- WAAAHHHHH! WAAAHHHHH! WAAAHHHHH! I wanted to get better, so I'm not gonna- even though I felt fine the last four or five days, I didn't want to then like slide back into sickness because I just wanted some delicious Ashlands. Yeah. So now you're like, you're like vaccinated and you have the antibodies, so you can pretty much go anywhere, you know what I mean? Right? Yeah.

That's how it works. Yeah, which. You know what I mean, right? I'm hella strong now, but you you were like fairly good about wearing your mask and shit and like and being safe Or I think it was are we on the air? I got it. I think I got it on are we recording? So there's you went into an actual movie theater? Were you scared or what was the vibe? What do you mean? You haven't been to a movie yet? First of all, I'm always scared in a theater and that's half the rush.

Like you go to every shitty dive bar in Los Angeles. Those are sanitized. Oh, they are. No, dude, that's so much freakier than a movie theater. I used to work at a movie theater I know how they clean those theaters. They don't do shit. This is my point Okay, but you're just sitting you're not like spitting in other guys mouths Like I know you do it all those West Hollywood bars that you I definitely don't do that. Welcome to the kissing club

We're sipping tea on this episode nobody was really in the theater. I mean, there were probably like eight other people, super spread out. Super spreader? Super spreader. Super spreader. Okay. Oh my God, get out of there, get out of there. That's not good.

I saw Dune. Okay. Oh. How is it, how hot? People are saying they like it. Is it long? It's Chano May. It's long, huh? Let's just say I'm not chunking.

Oh your face isn't frozen. That's just the face you're making about the movie? Yeah. Well Ders are you a sci-fi guy though? Are you a sci-fi guy? Well he loves Avatar. It's like his favorite movie of all time. I'm like why is he even asking me? Adam, you're my fucking guy today dude. I know. Is that because we're down in the South together? It's weird.

Yeah, it might be this Southern heat. I mean, what the fuck? Do I like sci-fi? You like Avatar, that's it. You don't like any other. No, he likes fucking- Kyle, back me up. He likes fucking Dren.

He likes Dren, bro. That's kind of sci-fi. Kyle, hit him with it. And we passed the mic to Kyle. I just don't like the old Star Wars movies. I just wasn't a fan of Star Wars back in the day. Starways? Well, you watched the wrong movie.

Starways. Starways to hell with them. So you don't like Star Wars. You like Avatar. You aren't a huge fan of Dune. Have you seen the old Dune from like the 80s? Yeah, I've seen the old Dune. The old Dune's fine.

It's not like remarkable. I don't I didn't see dune I don't know what this movie's about like in the commercials don't do anything for me They don't explain what the fuck the movie's about. There's nothing to explain. We do commercials for it I know I've done. Yeah, I've read commercials for I have never I have no idea what it is, dude I'm just saying word this movie was like act one of whatever the story's gonna be. It was just like a slow build to the end and then when the credits hit, I was like,

there's not another hour. And it was already one. Oh, it didn't resolve for you. No, it was, that's the whole thing though, now. It's like everything's a TV episode. I hate that, I hate it. What is the movie about? Because from the commercials in the trailer, it just seems like they're just on a sand

dune and that's basically the entire movie. It's just like really sandy. That's it. That's why it's called dude. I know. Hated it. Do you remember MTV, MTV Sandblast or was it Beach Blast or Sandblast? I don't.

But how are you going to connect these two? It was like American Gladiators, but like on the beach with like a... Oh yeah, I kinda do remember that. And they had like the launch pad thing that they would jump off of. Yeah, that shit was hot. Well, it sounds great.

Sounds like something I would have loved. Yeah, it was worse than that. Yeah. Oh. Damn. You have a track record of actual terrible interviews. Was this like actually terrible? You have a track record of terrible interviews.

He does. Yeah, he does. What the fellas are referring to is I did do an interview the day after the Warriors one. I had to do some press for Dope, the smoothie Dope that I was in. NBA basketball team, the Warriors. NBA champion, Jeffs. Yes, yes. And it was the first time they had won and I went really crazy. I went all in. I ended up like sleeping in my garage, like passing out on the floor of my garage. Which is where he normally sleeps, so that's not that big of a deal.

Right. Captain K makes the worst sleeper. Well, custom to that. But I had to wake up at like 6 a.m. and I thought the drive was a little longer to the studio I was gonna be doing the interview in, so I thought I had like 30 to like collect myself. Wait, okay. And did you?

So first of all, you drunk drove to this interview because- No, I was picked up by a car. I was picked up by a car. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah Yeah, but I thought I was gonna snooze in the back in the back seat, but um, I didn't I got there in like seven minutes Put me right on live with like this news guy in Cincinnati He fucking skewered you. Oh, yeah, you weirdo. He got you you fucking weird I love this perspective. I don't know that I've heard Blake tell I didn't know you only had seven minutes to get ready, bro He's only told the story in counselor. Oh, yeah, we were in we were in the writers room like the next to the next day

I remember you telling this dude I was so fried and he was asking me about the movie and I'm kind of stumbling through the interview. And then- You were doing an interview for Dope, the movie that you were in. Yeah, yeah, promoting Dope. Yeah, well, cause there was hell of like radio silence when they were playing clips.

You're like, well, it's about- Oh yeah, he's like, explain the movie. And then they're showing, no, I think that they, they were showing clips of the movie. And I- You know how we get into trouble, right, Cincinnati? Right, don't you say that? I say Cincinnati, man.

Yeah, well, I mean, let's just, we're gonna cut to it now, and we're back. I feel we have to post, we have to post this. This has to be on the, on the, on the gram. We have to post this content. I end up dropping an F-bomb, they end up cutting it. He's like, oh, okay, that's your language? We're gonna just cut this short.

Yeah, you flipped on him. You flipped on him right there, I remember. And then they were like, usually when we have actors, stars come on, they're very polite, they're put together. Sometimes not. And we are apologized for his language. That's life, that's life. Hey, what happened? And we are apologized for his

Dude I also think you must have been filming Adam. I think you're filming Mike and Dave because Literally the next day that that interview came out. It's the only time that Zac Efron has ever Hit me up Zac Efron like text me like that's like from an unknown number. It's just like, hey dude, this is Zac Efron. I just watched your interview. Epic dude. I know, he loved it. I actually do remember, I thought we were in the workaholics writers room,

but no, you were right. I remember being in the, I think Isaac sent me the clip and he's like, look at Blake on Morning News. Legend, mate. And then I was in the makeup trailer and I showed Zach and he loved it. Yeah.

So I've been around people with COVID before, but then now I think it's just cause I was so run down from like the stress of like planning the wedding, my dad having, you know, brain radiation, all the shit, all the other things. You're blaming your dad. You're blaming your father. Yeah, cool.

It's most of your dad's fault. Yes, points! I blame, it's my cancer riddled father. Right, all that stuff gave you COVID. And it's his fault that shit's important. I'm living a nightmare. So I think, I think it was that. And then it just, it just fucking hit me.

That's wild. Did you have, so fever or cough, like phlegm e lung wet lung? Oh, dude. I had everything I had 100% all the symptoms. I was like, I don't know what they are. I was I I I had a Bad temp. It was like a hundred and two or something dude big temperature big hot so hot I had chills a big hot. That's a I had chills. That's a big hot. That's a big hot. Did you have a big hot? I had a big hot.

I had a headache for like days and days and days. I'm still like pretty tired. Yeah. I'm just like tired all the time. Did you have the diarrhea? It was a squirt? The diarrhea was unrelenting. The trot.

And it only lasted for one day, but it was like- The cause of diarrhea. I was like, I'm gonna shit my pants. I'm going lasted for one day. But it was like- Because of diarrhea. I was like, I'm gonna shit my pants. I'm going to shit my pants. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm just like, I watched five seasons of Friday Night Lights. Nice. That's all I did. I just turned my brain off and just watched Friday Night Lights for like a week straight. Wild. Yeah. But I'm back now, baby. Solid poops.

Good job, buddy. It's almost too solid now. Tell Solid poops. Good job, buddy. It's almost too solid now. Tell me about it. That was my problem. That was my problem. After hearing you say, I wish they made masks that had it where they would tell you if when you have encountered,

like I just wanna know my stats, like how many times I've been around COVID, like with a mask or whatever, and I've avoided it and I've dodged the bullet. It's just like always. Dozens of times, yeah. Yeah, just like in Starbucks. Cause you know, you've gone out to bars

and restaurants and stuff. If you're around a certain amount of people, you're around COVID. You're around COVID. COVID is my friend. And especially I was in the South. I was in Charleston, South Carolina. And there's a lot of unvaccinated people in South Carolina.

And I know for a fact I was. And I was like, am I superhuman? Cause I hadn't gotten it yet. That's a cool way to think. Oh well, what's your blood type, Adam? Cause that was a rumor I heard. O negative, dude. Yeah, I heard a rumor swirling that like,

O negative is like immune. Like you can't get it. Oh really? I'm O. Really? yeah yeah I'm positive what about Oh positive am I good oh baby no you could get it easier yeah you get an extra might be dead you're probably a ghost it's easier for me to get it it's easier yeah yeah I scared of you mother fucker I don't know for what I heard it was O negative I don't know about O positive but oh oh neg. You shouldn't be alive. So you have dispelled that rumor because you got it.

Well, I got it. I think I was just like, I was exhausted, dude. That last week, I was having a hard time switching to nights. One night, I got one hour of sleep. And then it was like three or four days that week where I only got like three or four hours of sleep. So I think I was just like, if I, if I wouldn't have gotten COVID, I would have just been regularly sick. So I just got that.

Dude, I did, I did hear something the other day where if you smoke a certain strain of sativa, it, uh, coach the lungs and it blocks it. There's going to be a cool CDC like warning before this. Yeah, and we're gonna put a link to that. What I'm guessing is a university research. I am gonna say allegedly, Buddy on set told me about it, but allegedly he said he read one.

It's Humboldt College. Yeah, exactly. It's all of, NorCal's like, yeah, put it out. Yeah. Hey, Bulldog from Props. It's E40 Community College. It's cookies are better. Right. Adam, how long have you been only seeing the set doctors? Like since we started workaholics? Yeah, 10 years, a decade now. So you've gone a decade now doing lean every night and all this shit and then science you haven't gone to a real doctor No, I'd say I started doing This doctor comes over you smoke her out

She's like no I've been doing I do I've been doing the the Z equal every night for Three years now four years is 38 five years something like that happy So you go to you go to this doctor the little industry doctor, right? But you haven't gotten like a legit physical from like a practicing physician Oh, the doctors practicing is practical like a blood test and shit, no. Like, like I'm saying like the whole nine yards type shit. No, you're not, you don't have to do that stuff till you're 40, dude. It's science. That's when you have to start doing it. I would agree. Your heart is a thousand years old right now though. The caffeine is, you know, it's like age is a number or whatever. I mean, there's 70 year old dudes that are in the same shape as me right now.

Ders, you don't drink caffeine. Is caffeine bad for your heart? I have been wondering. It's like caffeine is hella good for you, dude. What is the do you know what the health issues are? No, no, no, he doesn't know. I don't know. But like I remember Adam was drinking monsters all the time.

The doctor was like, well, are you drinking caffeine? He was holding a monster. Like obviously it's not good for your heart. Cause it raises your heart rate. Well, yeah, yeah. Cause you're, you're spinning it up. You're, you're no matter what the caffeine is taking your blood, like your vessels and and fucking constricting them.

That's what the caffeine does. Exactly. That's exactly what it is. Maybe that is what they're doing. I don't know. That's what happens. That's exactly what it is. Sure, maybe that is what they're doing. I don't know. No, that's what happens. That's what happens. I think it speeds your heart rate up.

Because their blood vessels are constricting. That's why. Cause you're still trying to pump blood through that shit. We're missing it. It's science like a motherfucker right now, dude. It's science. Thank you. When we started this podcast,

we knew that it was going to be even more hilarious after Adam's heart explodes and we go back and listen to these. Cause we've talked about this. We've warned this man. We're back. Yeah. Now we're having a birthday episode and it's, and we're

and guess what? Sometimes I bite off more than I can chew and I need a little go-go to get me through the day. I mean, we're lucky I'm not like a co-cat or something. Like if this were the eighties or something, I might be like a full blown co-cat, but I'm not, you know. You would probably be a cautionary tale. It's barely a different thing. You would have been a cautionary

tale in the eighties. Oh, it's definitely different. It is way different than, than Coke. I'm drinking, uh, you know, I'm drinking coffee and, and, you know, one Red Bull a day. I've, I cut it down to one sugar-free Red Bull a day. That's pretty good.

Oh, congrats, dude. Remember how many monster energy drinks I was drinking? Four cups of coffee, one Red Bull, a diet coke, and a pre-workout. Two diet cokes and a pre-workout. And Zequil. I'm still going to send it. No, Zequil. Zequil's the anti.

And Zequil and Can. Don't forget Can. Can is also a downer, no? It's a downer. This whole story's a downer. Does all of that together equal cocaine? Yeah, that's my point. You might as well just on like three rails

and then just. Yes, puns! Yeah, it might be safer for you to pick up the coke habit. And been way more cool, bro. All right, well maybe I get into cocaine then, you know? Is that what you guys are saying? This I love. The fucking dude.

That shit's important. The fucking dude. Hollywood, baby. Adam, I like that. I like that for you. I do think it's amazing that this is the new cocaine. Like this is like all the old, like, ah, fucking got on cocaine just to get through the days.

This is the new version. Guess what? Not as cool. Just not as cool. You don't say you aren't cool. You're cool. Thank you. This is not cool.. Guess what? Not as cool. Just not as cool. You're not saying you aren't cool. You're cool. But this is not cool. No, I feel,

dude, cocaine sucks. The handful of times I've done cocaine, it sucks. You feel so shitty. You did a handful of cocaine. I did a handful. I do a handful of cocaine. No, I've done it a few times, but I don't- Softball.

Bwah! I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I always feel like gross the next day. You feel like you're sick the next day. It's like, cocaine fucks you up. Yeah. Yeah.

I did it one time and then like the next, I didn't, I had no idea what the fuck I was, you know, what I was in store for. And the next day I had to like go over to my dad's house and watch football. And I just felt like a dirty fucking sack of shit. I was just like, this sucks. I couldn't sleep. Wait, before I do this line, what am I in store for? Is he with you?

Daddy. Who brought this guy? And you're like, oh, fuck it, just kidding. I'm still gonna send it. What am I in store for, sir? What am I in store for? What am I in store for, sir? What am I in store for? What am I in store for, sir? No, but I think even worse is like

anytime you're at like a Coke party or a Coke bar, it's just like the vibe is just not for me. I'm purely just um, powered by Jaeger. Coke cane is a different vibe. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? How goes lower?

I met Santi at a luau party in October. I'm Santi. Damien. Oh, it was bizarre. The guy just disappeared one day. Santi has been missing ever since. The hookup. What is that?

I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Like, no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to... The hookup? You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to- Yeah, that's a word for it. This is such terrible representation, I'm so sorry. Poppers? These aren't just any poppers.

Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. No, my psychiatrist didn't laugh at that one either. Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse and so many commercials about back pain. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys,

I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to tell them a buckwild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Zoe Chow. Titanic. Charles Manson.

Alcatraz. Asada Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get Giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. Did you know that companies hire the most in the first two months of the year? Or that nearly half of workers are worried about being left behind? I'm Andrew Seaman, LinkedIn's editor-at-large for jobs and career development. And my show Get Hired brings you all the information you need to, well, get hired. People are forming opinions of you even before you log into the Zoom or walk into the room. And so you really have to think about what is it I want to display.

You don't plant a garden and then just walk away and expect it to thrive. You are in there pulling out the weeds. You're pruning it, you're watering it. It's the same thing with your network. You should always be in there actively managing your network. If you don't feel confident to say a number, even admitting that to a recruiter is going to be far better than saying, well, what is your budget for the role? A lot is in the follow-up, right? Don't wait to follow up.

Whether you're a new grad, an established professional, or contemplating a career change, Get Hired is for you. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you like to listen. ["The Last Post," main theme, by John Williams playing in background.] Yeah, I feel the same way. And I'm sure it's even harder for you, you know, having like a young family and shit at home. Yeah, that could be a bust.

Oh, dude, yeah, with the six, like saying goodbye, like my son's just like, I wanna go with you, I wanna go with you. And I'm like, dude, I want you to roll with me. You gotta do like in White Fang, where like he starts throwing rocks at the wolf so it goes away Yeah, those are the best moments in any movie where it's a go-on-get situation You should make some songs to like make it make you leaving like a fun adventure My dad used to do that my dad used to go

My dad used to do that. My dad used to go, daddy's got to go to work to make a lot of money so he can buy Barbie dolls and baseball cards for his little honeys. And then he'd go, boop boop booch, boop boop boop booch, boop boop booch. And do like the Robin Williams doesn't know how to do hip hop with his hands dancing. That's why I never fuck with that guy. From this down fire? And he would do that open coming up star And I'm like well fucking this sounds awesome. You're gonna go away, and then when you come back I'm gonna have like baseball cards. I like that very very rarely brought me baseball cards, but away again

I like that I like making songs to for children to make them deal with a hard situation Yeah, I think I think I'm gonna use all my pitch perfect skills to be a song and dance man for these kids. Right. Dad got fired. Please don't stop the music, music. Please don't stop the music. Please stop crying.

Daddy just got fired. We're gonna lose the farm rate. Please stop crying. Yeah, yeah. Daddy just got canceled. We're gonna lose the farm, Ray. Please stop crying. Yeah, yeah. Daddy just got canceled. Old pictures from Halloween. I can't stop working.

I overextended myself and the family. Not a good role model. We have too much overhead. Need to batten down the hatches. Pictures of my nipples at work. Another good role model. We have too much overhead. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Need to batten down the hatches. Pictures of my nipples at work did not go well. My accountant stole my money.

Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. I trusted him with everything. Do you know who Bernie Manilov is? We're living in our car now. This is a fun song, daddy. What song is this? You're sleeping in the back seat. I'm hunting squirrels for food.

We'll shower at the gym. I've said traps for rats. Cooking them on the radiator. bup bup bup bup bup. Or having bugs for dessert. Or having bugs for dessert. Things went downhill. It's Caterpillar Wednesday. Caterpillar Wednesday.

It's just one of those days. Your daddy is a friggin'. Freakin'ism. Oh, man, it ain't easy. Freakin'ism, give it up. Your daddy is a free again. Oh man. It ain't easy. Give it up one time. Yeah. Freakin is a man. I believe in freaking ism, baby.

What is, what is free? Well, I don't know what fruit, what is it? You eat what's free like out of a dumpster. Exactly. It's a free lifestyle. And it's called free because it's free like out of a dumpster exactly it's a free lifestyle, and it's called free With a G. This is like a last man standing storyline for sure with a G free I'm asking how to say it. I've never heard this word before you guys are acting like I'm a fucking so you know people say vegan

You know how you say it. I've never heard this word before. You guys are acting like I'm a fucking. So you know how people say vegan. You know how you say bald beaver? So this is fregan. Yeah, yeah, fregan vegan. Oh, okay. And then you just add the ism. Thank you for breaking it down. Yeah, you just add the ism to make it seem more legit,

which is what happened with you. I said freganism and you're like, what is this? Is it a real thing? It's just a joke. Yeah, I mean, it's a real thing that's been said out loud. Yeah. Do you think I just came up with it right now? Did you just?

Do you think I did? I'll buy that in the room. People say it. It's dumpster diving. Right. Did it have a resurgence? Why was that even something that was on our map? A resurgence?

What is it, swing dancing? Like what? Like salsa? I can see it being a movement where like, where, you know, people are like, actually I live by this. I get everything. You can get everything from the dumpster. Yeah. I think it was a thing, you know, but you know. And then people were like, a lot of people got really sick.

They're like, you can't eat that. Do not eat that. It was like an episode of Vice News Tonight or some shit. And that's about it. Yeah. Yeah. I Yeah, yeah, I mean there's definitely there's definitely There's definitely something to it like yeah, you can find a lot of great shit in dumpsters There's something to it outside like forage. I just don't know if I would like I don't like how strict is is Freakism like how strict like can you buy anything? Like, or, or.

Nah, not if you're living that freeganism lifestyle. A strict freegan? Yeah, like how strict do they get? Yeah, if you're a strict freegan, you're not purchasing anything, I don't think. Zero, you, zero paying for anything. You get your electricity from the dumpsters. No, you get your electricity from like the,

the plugs that are just chilling on somebody's wall You just plug your phone in for a little bit there. I believe Freganism is just eating I believe really what you think it's a dietary thing Well, it's if it's playing off veganism. Yeah, I play on veganism. I think it's just trying to eat I never even thought about that I don't know But I think that it's just about eating. Because now you guys are all making shit up.

I mean, that makes the most sense. And that's the grossest. Yeah, I don't know. Well, yeah, because we were describing, we were starting to describe homelessness. It's not really freeganism. I'm freegan. Houselessness.

OK. Yeah, you can't say what you said. I know. I apologize. I won't repeat it. Unhoused. Yeah. Nope, can't say what you say. No, I apologize. Okay, sorry Okay, too charged over here. It's called free range human Oh, no way organic free range human. Wait, you can't you cannot say homeless anymore. You have to say free range

And you can tell hey you can say whatever you want dude. That's true. Yeah, I just I think homeless is out and Organic free range human is the new term. You're serious. It's because Organic free-range human It's cuz like the staying home is where the heart is so you can't say homeless because you got a heart that's beating You know what? I mean? Oh, wait,, why not cool? That's how I interpret this We do have to live by that saying that is on a wooden sign in my mom's house, right? But you have to live by every wooden sign in my mom's house I'm sorry mom you guys now that you've all been there can attest. There's a lot of signs

There's a lot of signs there's tons. I gave your mom a sign I brought a sign to the bachelor party. You did bring a sign. I want to thank you for that. Here's your sign. What did the sign say? I know what it said. Yeah, what was it? It was like, it's wine, something wine. It was dinner plus wine equals winner. Equals winner. Oh, pretty good.

Pretty good. Yes, points. I'm in Alabama right now, and apparently, I don't know if that was last month or last year or something, but more people died than were born in this state, mostly because of COVID. And I was like, oh, my God, sick. That's terrifying. That's terrible. Sick.

That's really scary. It is. Nobody's fucking out there or what? Nobody's having babies? Like, yeah, come on. Yeah, what's going on? I think people are like, they gave up fucking. Oh my gosh.

Well, that's the first thing we need to do is start fucking again. Right. Yeah. How's the movie going, Dersie? It's going. Does Bobby D remember you? Guys, I'm happy to report. Yeah, I'm doing a movie.

I'm down here in Mobile, Alabama. It's a Sebastian Maniscalco movie. It's kind of his like not his life story, but a story from his life. And that's why you're watching Sopranos getting in the Italian. That's what everyone says. And I was like, oh, fuck, I feel like such a weird.

But no, I'm watching the brand. Gumbelgul, yeah, and I don't know if that's a bad thing to say or not, so I'm not gonna repeat it, hey. I don't know what it even is. Chris Pratt, motherfucker, fuck you. Hey, Petaini. But we had like a table read before we started shooting and Bob rolls in and we're all kind of like sitting around. Robert De Niro, he's talking about Robert De Niro.

Robert De Niro. I know. Bobby. De Niro plays Sebastian's pops and they're like full on like Italian. It's great. Anyway, so he comes in, we're doing table read. Let's go.

Everyone's kind of introducing themselves around the table. I'm like, hey, I'm Anders, I'm playing Lucky. And he kind of leans over, looks at me and gives me the finger point like, hey. No way. Yeah, so guys. No fucking way. Let's just say he remembered me.

Forget about it, not an option. I love that. You made an impact on him. You're kidding. Mocky dokey. You're kidding me. Bobby D. He didn't forget about it.

Bobby D. didn't forget about you. Hey, I got some nice flowers from him right here. I got some orchids. You're kidding me. He's a professional. What a freaking class act. Actually, you know what? And Adam knows this from doing the intern.

When you're in the main cast, Bob sends you a little letter that says, break a leg from his stationery and stuff. And you're just like, oh. It's so cool. I have mine framed Yeah, you framing. Yeah, I thought you're gonna say he sends you a horse head in your bed Oh my god, so these are stereotypes that I'm sure he's been battling his whole life and you're just kind of joking about

Forget about me But no he is a class act. Yeah, because he knows he knows like pretty exciting to work with me. Yeah here He's like you're gonna want this. Oh, are you freaking kidding? Do you remember when he would like bring his cheese guy on the set of The Intern? I just talked about it the other day. Yeah. He's got a cheese guy?

Yeah. He had a cheese guy that would come on set. From the Bronx. He's like, he'd come up and be like, hey I don't know if you saw, but I got my cheese guy for spinning some mozzarella. And he was like homemade, like spinning mozzarella, like in the parking lot. And you come out and he'd give you like little mozzarella

balls on a stick. Oh, that sounds so nice. Mozzarella. On a stick or like a skewer? Yeah. Or like a branch? Like a skewer, like a little skewer of mozzarella. A branch.

This is Bob we're talking about. Here's another weird thing. On his birthday on the intern, his cheese guy came and he just had these giant plates of spoons full of ricotta, period. Pizza pizza. And he's coming around and then I'm like, bro, am I for real about to just eat a spoon of ricotta?

And people are like, it's pretty good. And I was like, all right, I'll grab one so I'm not like a jerk. Yeah. I eat it and instantly grab three more spoons. Yeah. It was so damn good. Don't go away from here. I'm like, it was so fucking good with like a little dollop of olive oil on it.

It was so damn good. I can't stop eating. Dude, that sounds so good. I want to get a cheese guy. Oh, I remember, I remember, uh, De Niro was he like, he'd come to set and he wasn't in wardrobe yet and he was wearing his actual watch and we were rehearsing the scene before we all went into hair and makeup and, um, he had his actual watch and it was like, I forget what it was, but I like watches. And I mentioned that I liked his watch.

And I had my watch on and he was like, oh, you like watches, huh? I'm like, uh-huh. Oh, you like time? Anders can't even tell time. My best friend Anders can't tell time, but that's cool you do. This is important.

I'm gonna remember him. He can't tell time. That's memorable. I'm going to remember him. I won't remember you. Forget about me. I'm going to forget about you. He goes, here, I'll give you my watch guy. And I like threw away the card immediately because I was like, there's no way in hell that I can afford De Niro's watch guy. Yeah. Like there's no way I would that I can afford De Niro's Watch Guy. Yeah. There's no way I would be able to afford a watch. Maybe. Maybe. Now I wish I had it. That was like, there we go. Eight years ago.

Well, Ders, can you ask Adam if he can get in touch with his watch guy one more time? Yeah. Please hook me up with De Niro's Watch Guy. He's like, I don't know what you're talking about. I'll be like, hey, your watch guy. He's like, I don't know who you're talking about. Right. Never heard of him. Not a fan. Didn't anyone tell you there's a huge black hole of my memory from that movie? Forgot about it. The whole first half of the movie. I don't remember.

Anders, your size 12 shoe, right? I remember that. Oh, yeah. Hey, I'm going to my buddy Adam's wedding. You said you're going to your buddy wedding. I missed it. It was like a part of me. I couldn't, I couldn't even hear. It's like a bad drive through speaker. You're going to your buddy wedding. So I'm old.

I have, I had tapes before that. So my first tape was Simpson sing the blues. Your first tape? Yeah. After they did the Bartman. My neighbor had that shit. My aunt gave me all of her tapes so like my first tapes were 12 Rick Springfield tapes. Oh so your musical taste is advanced. That's cool. Yeah my aunt just like gave me like a ton of Rick Springfield tapes. Wait what is his big jam do you know? Fuck if I ever remember. I Listen to it once and was like, ah, you know this I guess this isn't for me

Yeah, is that Jenny? I got your number or is that the outfields? Eight six seven five three, oh, no, Jesse girl. Oh, they're saying is Jesse's girl. Oh Jesse's girl. That's a great song That was Jesse's good Dude if that was in the band. She sees girl. How could I find a woman like that? And then it gets a little nasty with it. That's when music was sweatier, right? There was like a little, it didn't smell great, you know? Well, it was the cocaine.

Right. Yeah. Does that have a smell? Yeah, everyone had coke sweats. Does cocaine have a smell? Yeah, coke sweats. Does cocaine have a smell? Yeah, you got to smell it. You got to sniff it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, now. I remember hearing that like the new kids on the block had like to get their stomach pumped from like jizz or something. I feel like everybody it was every every person was just getting their stomach pumped because they were

swallowing too much jizz. Right like a girl at the high school down the road or whatever. We should start like an urban legend about her that actually happened to me I had to get my stomach pumped from too much jizz. Jizz, yeah. Did you guys know that? I didn't know that. I didn't know that. That's awesome. Do you know why they dropped a best of this is important this week?

Is the guys had to get their stomach pumped. They all had to go to the hospital and get their stomach pumped from jizz. Cause they swallowed too much jizz. Each other's, I think so. It was like a gallon when they took it all out. It was like a gallon. There's gallons of jizz that they, like from each other. I think, yeah, I think. Wow. That's a lot of jizz. By the way, you're hearing these rumors and you're like,

ate and you're like, it's called jizz. You're like, I think I understand like what it, it's a gallon of it though. It's a gallon, so yeah, you could just go to the hospital from, it's a thing called jizz. Right. The dudes drink too much jizz, so you're getting the best of. I remember hearing one, this is legit, one I heard in high school was that a kid, like at the other school, he was eating so much pussy that like his, the acidity, he like couldn't, he woke up and couldn't talk one day

because like it like burned his tongue. Yeah, because the pussy was too hot. It was too fire. That's life. See, this is when we need a doctor in the building that can or can't have, because I don't know. I don't feel like that could happen. Well, the classic one was Richard Gere,

what the urban legend of Richard Gere getting his, the gerbil stuck up his ass. And he had to go to the, the HR to remove a gerbil up his ass and also HR. He had to go to the HR. He had to go to the human resources, a universal studios, human resources department. No, he had to go to the ER. Kind of evolved right into like, um, it was like a tube.

And then it was a frozen gerbil, like a gerbil sickle. Well, that's because somebody into like, um, it was like a tube and then it was a frozen gerbil like a gerbil sickle. Well that's because somebody was like, well, how did he get the gerbil in his bubble? Yeah, we started questioning the reality. Bro, he froze it. He fucking froze it. This is important. Oh, well no, well that was the, that was the urban legend.

It was like, no, they put it up there and then it squirms and it feels good. Oh yeah. No, it squirms and it feels good and then it finally dies and then you can't pull it out and you're like, Oh what? Yeah. You had the urban legend where the gerbil died? I think like the urban legend was it froze it, you put the frozen one in the butt.

Yeah, it thaws out. No, I never heard that it was frozen. You put the frozen one in your butt, it thaws out and that's when you start to feel it waking up and then it crawls. What is it? Fucking Encino man? Yeah.

It just wakes up? Yeah. Yes. This is it. So wait, it came back alive after being frozen. Right. It was cryogenically frozen. Exactly.

And you put it. Hold up. What? Let me just say this. Hold up. This is the problem. Richard Gere, Richard Gere was so fucking hot. Somebody had to knock him down a pecker-tip.

They were like, I'm gonna fuck this dude over. And that's what happened to us when someone that started that rumor about us getting our stomachs pumped from swallowing each other's jizz. A gallon of each other's jizz. Hold up. Yeah, that person. Whoever started that.

That same person. I'm gonna do the nightmare. That person whose birthday may or not be today. Whoever started that. I don't know. Hey, either way, you're getting the best stuff. And Adam, this is for you right here. What is it? What is it? I see Adam's got a birthday today. Who's that? Yep. Shout out from my cousin. Oh, what's up? Shout out to Chris. What's up? Chris Sofer. We're back. Happy birthday to you. And many more on Channel 4.

No, I actually was really curious about like what, like saying homeless, like why that became a bad word, because I know it is unhoused now, but... Oh, it is? Yeah. I've never heard that in my life yeah that's that's what people are rolling with now yeah yeah politically correct thing what's cool is how Adam you could be kind of sensitive about it okay like oh you go I've never heard that in my life I mean I've never heard that ever I've never even that you've been working

you've been working you've been working got everyone home. He's been working I haven't been in Los Angeles in a long time and over over half a year, right? This is some new shit I'm catching on back Freakiness and unhoused. That's right. Welcome back Also unhoused the exact same as homeless. Yeah, no, it's not though. It's not I mean, I'm not I mean Why is on how I guess you're right it is it's like saying. It's not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, why is on how a better turn? It is.

It's like saying like it goes back to sliding the DMS. It's just we're trying to change it a little bit. Yeah. It has negative commentations. OK, just a different spin. Homeless means you're without a

home. On means you you don't have that don't have a house, a house, not a home, a house. Those are two different things. I mean, that's can, no they're not, not to me, right? I don't know. Okay, yeah. But that's what we have to realize that.

We're so charged. That's what we're supposed to be realizing right now. Okay. Is that a home is where you hang your hat. A home could be. You know what I mean? No. A house is where you hang your hat. No, but you can hang your hat in places that aren't houses.

That's what I'm saying. What, a tree? Well, sure, yeah. Yeah. Yes, you can put a hook anywhere and call that your home, but you can't call it a house. Hang on. I'm not going to say this. I'll say this. It's not any of our producers,

but we have someone in our chat who's going, drug addicts now called a substance use disorder. Hey, we're not trying to pile on people here, okay? We're not going after people changing the word. He's like, you can't call anything what it was. We're not doing that. We're just talking about this one thing of homeless versus unhoused and what the connotations are sure because to me Yeah, I I mean, I don't know I didn't see homeless as like something mean to say

But when you say like other places can be homes that aren't Houses that makes sense to me. Yeah, that's how I Like there's a ton of people who don't live in houses either And so what about those people who live in apartments or condos? We're just saying fuck you They you know, they live in apartment apartments or condos or trailers. Are they on the housed? Yeah Well, well, that's what I'm saying the semantics of it. I mean my uncle was homeless or unhoused and He just said he was camping for like three years. Well. There you go. He was like I'm camp In our driveway. Oh, there you go. We were like, are you still camping under the bridge?

He's like, yeah, I'm camping there down still for a while. I've been camping for a while Winning. I love camping call him fucking campers. Okay. Yeah, that's kind of cool. Yeah urban campers urban campers That's not bad at all urban campers is a way cooler term than on a cells in the room that right there Yeah, right there. That's it. That's sci-fi. All right Well, that might be too good damn been back for seven months and I come back swing and get me in and the fucking The room City Council, so there's some urban campers at the base of this volcano Unhoused. Quest 1.

Well nobody believes them. Quest 1. You're setting yourself up for the sequels with that one. You have to. You have to. You have to. You have to. Because everything's commercial, man.

Always pitch something with Quest 1 at the end. That's Quest 1. Well that's like with Game Over, man. We never really intended on doing a sequel, but we made sure that we had the option. Absolutely, you got to. The door is open. Keep those doors open for as many sequels as possible. That's right.

We even named it, right? Yeah, Game Over Board. Game Over Board, yeah. And then we talked about doing a third one called Game Over Mom, where the boat ends up crashing into Jamaica. That was with Shaggy. Yeah. And we with Shaggy.

Yeah. And we get Shaggy. We never made the sequel, but we had the third one. Yeah, the third one named. Netflix is like, cute. Hey guys, can we promise that every movie that we do together, we end it with a possible sequel? Absolutely.

Yeah. As long as Over overboard is in the seat that's a really good package there you got freaking game over man game over board game over mon dude oh it was game over mom no but that's comes that comes I was buying that in the room No, that's that's the straight to DVD fourth one that none of us are in yeah, that's the lower budget one Yeah, like a lifetime movie of the week Yeah, we're like this mom has to fucking like learn how to play video games

Yeah, she's like she's a bro mom for sure that yeah, it's the story the true story of a bro mom Yeah, yeah after I put the kids to bed, I just go right into modern warfare and just tear shit up. There's gotta be a mom who does that, right? Oh, absolutely, I hope so. For sure. Do you remember what you said

the first night I came over here? How goes lower? I met Santi at a luau party in October. I'm Santi. Damien. Oh, it was bizarre. The guy just disappeared one day. Santi has been missing ever since.

The hookup, what is that? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Like, no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to the hookup. You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to f- Yeah, that's a word for it. This is such terrible representation, I'm so sorry. Poppers?

These aren't just...in me, poppers. Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. No? My psychiatrist didn't laugh at that one either. ["I Heart Radio App"] Listen to the hookup on the I Heart Radio App, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Brat City and Narcos and Roadhouse, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse, and so many commercials about back pain. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get Ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and

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It's giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. How serious is youth vaping? Irreversible lung damage serious?

One in ten kids vape serious? Which warrants a serious conversation from a serious parental figure like yourself. Not the seriously know-it-all sports dad, or the seriously smart podcaster. Did you know that companies hire the most in the first two months of the year? Or that nearly half of workers are worried about being left behind? I am Andrew Seaman, LinkedIn's editor-at-large for jobs and career development.

And my show, Get Hired, brings you all the information you need to, well, get hired. People are forming opinions of you even before you log into the Zoom or walk into the room. And so you really have to think about what is it I want to display. You don't plant a garden and then just walk away and expect it to thrive. You are in there pulling out the weeds, you're pruning it, you're watering it. It's the same thing with your network. You should always be in there actively managing your

network. If you don't feel confident to say a number, even admitting that to a recruiter is gonna be far better than well, what is your budget for the role? A lot is in the follow-up, right? Don't wait to follow up. Whether you're a new grad, an established professional, or contemplating a career change, Get Hired is for you. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you like to listen. I saw Robert De Niro backstage at some award show and he comes through and I go, Hey Bob!

And he stops and just looks right at me. And I was like waiting for him to be like, Oh hey! But he didn't say anything. And then I weirdly like stood my ground and didn't introduce myself, which is admittedly a weird thing to do, but I was just like kind of like,

well, you want it. Like deer in headlights style. Yeah, you want it. And I wanted him to go like, oh, hey, how's it going? And then I'd be like, oh yeah, Adam, the intern, remember? But he didn't do that. He just stared and looked at me for, I swear to you, like 20 seconds of just like looking at me.

And then he goes, huh. And then walked away. I'm sure it was like, you lose. But it felt like looking at me and then he goes huh and then walked away I'm sure it was like you lose but it felt like you get what you give I'm gonna forget about goodbye and then Chloe was like was right next to me and she goes what what the fuck was that and I'm like I don't know I don't know what just happened to her she better be getting out all your forget about it jokes here because we bring those to said De Niro's gonna crack up too hard and my heart is tummy. Do not say Gabagool around De Niro. We don't know what it means.

We don't know what it means. I'm not gonna say Gabagools. Well, now I'm trying to think if I had like unlimited fame or in money, not that unlimited money, but like what kind of guy would I have with me? Like a cheese guy is such a specific, cool fucking flex. Oh dude. What a great poll. Well, I think if you have starred in like 10 of the biggest,

like mafia type movies of all time, you're just going to have a cheese guy. The cheese guy is going to find you and be like, Hey, I'm your cheese guy now. Well, right. Anytime you need hey, I'm your cheese guy now. Well, right anytime you you need cheese I'm your guy. Yeah, because it's like he just brings you the spoon of ricotta and he's like hey, man I'll bring the spoon of ricotta anywhere you go Love this rock. You're beating cheese guys away There's so many cheese guys. It's like well, I got got another guy. You gotta weed through them. Look, if your ricotta is better than that guy's ricotta, you could come with me. If this guy offends you, if this guy's a

Gabagool of any at all. Are you reading, are you reading in the notes in the producer? Gabagool is a nickname for pork capicola, which is- Oh yeah, I've had capicola. Pork shoulder. So you're just calling somebody a pork shoulder? Yeah. So you're just saying a food. That's a cool nickname. What's that little pork shoulder? Capacola which is So you're just saying food that's a cool nickname what's that little pork shoulder little pistol starter I just watched the Saints of Newark last night, and I swear they were like saying Gaba ghoul is like you fucking idiot Yeah, it's like calling somebody a piece of baloney. Yeah in gangs in New York isn't he a butcher though I didn't say gangs of New York I said the many Saints of Newark, which is the Sopranos prequel and we're back to it. We're back to it It's the New York New York thing, bro. I just

When they're naming towns and cities who thought it was a good idea to be like no I said Newark actually it's different And they're like you already have a New York up here here. Yeah it's like right there. Yeah right there. And you said Newark. It's just right across the bridge so it's really really close. Oh you're New York? We're Newark. I feel like you just said you were gonna start a New York but there already is one. I said Newark. No no no no no. I'm going to New York. It's a there's a G at the end. It's New York. It's right down the block. Okay. Now the bid is different because that's not even a play.

How do you know? Why do you stick in the confines of the bit? I refuse. I refuse. All right. Hey, what are the confines of the bit? Blake doesn't color in the lines, man. He goes outside of it.

I can tell. I see his. Shirts are all tie dye crazy colors. He's a crazy boy. I can tell. I see his shirts are all tie dye. Crazy colors. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Popo sound. He's a crazy boy. Well, Ders, how many other ways could we take a city by a city that sounds like a city? But it's already there. I know, but I was trying to expand on the joke and go New York.

But then you might as well just go puke dork. And it's like, hey, hey, that's funny. But puke dork doesn't exist or do your do your do your. When Mountain Dew takes over New York. Snake Bliskin. OK, guys, how how improv works is we yes. And each other. I admit that New York was a stretch.

Yeah. And and I we probably wouldn't have walked down that road if Blake didn't lead us down it. But now that Blake let us down New York, I feel like we gotta walk down this road with it, man. But Adam, let's all be honest. There is something very satisfying and funny about every once in a while just dropping a huge deny. All right, you did.

Hey, man, the crowd loves it. You love it. The crowd loves it. The crowd loves it. Lovely job. But you can take a deny and throw it right into, right into fucking New York and now come up with a Mountain Dew premise, new premise.

What happens in the future? Hey, Kyle, Kyle, what up? No, you can't. No. Oh, wow. This shit's important. Dude, someone just crashed their car listening to that shit.

So good, Anders. I'll walk it down New York if you guys want, but I'll day it. Hey, Capecolo, give me a pork shoulder. You gobbly goo. I think it's bafanguul, not gobbagool. Bafanguul? Oh, yeah, that's bafanguul. Yeah, bafanguul.

Bafanguul? What is bafanguul? Maybe that's it. What are we saying? Bafanguul. By the way, let me just preface. I don't know what I just said, so please don't cancel me. Right.

You're going to get kicked off of the movie you're on tomorrow. We're not airing this. Yeah, this is in the shitter. He doesn't know. He doesn't know what it means. He's just saying it. He doesn't know. That's what he's trying to say. It's okay. Why are we doing Bafangool? No, we want Bafangool.

I'm not finishing it. Oh, Italian wannabes. Okay. Oh perfect used by Italians to define Italian wannabes people that are posers basically Okay. Okay. So that's Blake. So that's that's what we're doing. That's what's happening right now Yeah, so where we are being a bunch of government. We are chuggy Gabagool and it's close to Halloween, so maybe I'm a gaba ghoul. Oh. Yeah. Terz, is that OK, or can you kill that? I thought it was funny.

Like, just being an old person, that's going to be the most fun thing to do. You can get away with fucking everything. Right, right, yeah. You could do. Can you put my mic down my pants? Arrgh! I'm old.

I'm just gonna take a piss right in the middle of Home Depot. What? Yeah. Are you talking about in life or are you talking about on a set? No, I'm talking in life, man. There's those toilets set up, you just act all confused like, oh, I thought this was the bathroom. Oh, dude.

No, immediately, like I feel like you never take full advantage of your youth, and it seems like most old people don't take full advantage of just being old. Right. Yeah, you can get away with everything. Because once you get over, like, 70, 75, you can do whatever the fuck you want to do. People don't know. You could be a well-put-together 90-year-old. They don't know.

Right, right. You're just old. Did I accidentally get in the wrong car and drive it away? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just huge. What was the Johnny Knoxville movie where he dressed up? It was Bad Grandpa.

No, I think that was Robert D. No, that was Dirty Grandpa. Bad Grandpa was. How's it not just a TikTok of somebody who films their fun grandpa doing insane shit all the time? There might be. I'm sure I think that's out there. That's got to be out there.

Got to join Tick Tock to find out. Yeah. None of us are plugged in enough to tick tock. Oh, you guys got to get on. They're probably very famous. They're hosting SNL next week. Right. Don't even know. Yeah, absolutely. They're out there. The real dirty grandpa.

That was like right around the time that they had to stop like having like dogs be mascots for beers and shit. Because yeah, Joe Camel. Yeah, because kids are like, that's awesome, I can't wait. Well like, yeah, Joe Camel couldn't be within like a mile. Hey uncle, I picked up all this garbage so you could buy a scarf. Yeah dude, yeah bro. A chain wallet. So you can rep your addiction. Yeah, dude. Yeah, bro chain wallet. Yeah, so you can rep your addiction

Your sleep, I mean, but you would go through those catalogs and the gear was fucking sick Oh my god, it goes for a lot on eBay, especially Marlboro. Yeah, they did whoever was doing that Marlboro gear Well, go back on some camel stuff. There's some sick tank time. Should I oh my gosh You want me to go back on that? Treat yourself. Go on and just treat yourself. Take a little peek at the camel gear. I might take the night. I don't think I would wear camel. I don't think I'd wear camel. I know that I would fucking rock Marlboro but I don't think I would wear camel. It's a disgusting habit. What are the what are the best I mean cool what are the best cigarette cigarette brands? This is for people out there

who are thinking about getting into smoking. Yeah, yeah. You don't wanna make the false step. You wanna do the right thing. Do you think smoking's ever gonna come back? Do you think it'll be almost retro to where people will be like, you know what, fuck it. Oh, it will, you're right,

because you're gonna be like, I'm off the vape, I'm onto the old school shit. Oh yeah, the vape is corny. Vape is so corny. Like vinyl, you think it'll be like vinyl, or people will be like, I'm off the vape, I'm onto the old school shit. Oh yeah, the vape is corny. Vape is so corny. Like vinyl, you think it'll be like vinyl? It will be a throwback. Oh, it just actually tastes better. Yeah.

It's like you're us listening to our parents' records, and then for our generation, it became cool to collect records. That's what I think is gonna happen with cigarettes. Like no one fucking smokes anymore. And then in like 20 years, what our fucking little shit head kids are going to be like, right. Actually, I'm a smoker. It's like people on old bicycles. You're like, congratulations. You know, bikes are way better now.

Right. Yeah, they're not 60 pounds each. Exactly. Hello. E-bike. Dude, I'm so bummed. I got the specialized bike and then I got COVID like the next day. Yeah. So specialized gave me this, gave us all these super dope E-bikes. And I haven't even been able to really ride it because I got COVID and then now I'm in Atlanta. So is this a shout out or a slam?

Kiss me outside, how about that? Or is this like introspective? They for sure gave me COVID. No, I don't think, if anything I might have gave them COVID. Oh. Yeah, no, I just realized that I have this sick ass specialized bike and I haven't even gotten to ride it. Yeah, you gotta get on that. Dude, it's awesome.

Yeah, they're game changers. Do they work in the snow? It's about to start snowing up here in Toronto. Depends on what tires you got. Yeah, get them snow tires. Mmm, dude, off-road e-biking in the snow? That sounds kind of fucking dope as shit. Zoom, zoom, baby. What was the cigarette brand where it was like, the pleasure is ours, and it was always like people like outside on bikes? That's our companion podcast, too. This is important. The pleasure is ours.

It's cool. It's cool. That's cool. You were talking about, or no, it's Newport. Or Parliament, Newport. Yeah, it was the one. It's cool. It's cool. That's cool. We're talking about or no It's new part parliament new part. Yeah, it was the way it was green I know it's green memory and it would just be like it'd be like people doing activities like sailing or see I love when they do that when it's like a megalovultra. It's like their Their beer is people Just like jogging and shit, right and you're just like, all right. No, you're not. Yeah Yeah

I think fucking cool used to do that shit with the Siggy's and Newport used to do that shit with the Siggy's hardcore. Yeah, didn't Newport, it was like, they're always like sailing or some shit. No, it's Newport. It was all water-based activities. Yeah. There you go.

Yeah, you're out and you're having fun. You're getting lung cancer. I love the idea of Virginia slims. Oh yeah. It was like longer, a little thinner. Long and lean, you know? Yeah. I love the idea of Virginia slims. Oh yeah. It was like longer, a little thinner. Long and lean. You know? Yeah. I like Paul Maul's. Paul Maul's? Paul Maul's. Yeah. I like Paul Wall's. Yeah. I like Paul Wall's cigarettes. You like candy paint drippin'? Yeah. And uh, trunks wavin'? Grills. There's something that I stumble upon every five years or so.

Look at what I found, dude. Oh dude, that's from like- The freaking original chain wallet, man. Describe to the audience what you are holding up. Okay, so I've got my leather smiley face chain wallet that I purchased from Hot Topic in probably, I don't know. Give it to me, baby. That must have been like 96? 95 or 96?

Yeah, dude. Hey, it's pretty fly for a white guy. I refine this thing like every five years, I feel. And then I tuck it away. I feel like every time you refine it, I'm right there with you when you're like... When you're like, look what I just dug out. And I'm like, oh yeah, like a smiley face chain wallet. No, that thing is fucking sick. Cool. Are we getting Carl's jr. Or not?

Did you guys rock chain wallets or what dude? Yes, there's no way Ders did He's a Muppet Babies fan. Fuck you rugrats boys No, I didn't I had a hemp necklace chain wallet, which was even Crunchier the chain was him.ier. The chain was hemp? Yeah, the chain was hemp. Fuck it. I made it. I was- What?

Kyle has hearing COVID. By the time I was a senior in high school, I think I just really wanted people to know that I smoked weed. So like I made, I had multiple hemp necklaces that I would wear. I had a hemp bracelet, I had a hemp belt, and I had a hemp chain wallet.

Right, all right. Just letting people know like this guy loves hemp. But like hemp, just being a product of like marijuana, right, but you don't, nobody smokes hemp. No, no, no, you can't smoke the hemp. Right, but you know. If you rock a lot of hemp, people are gonna assume that you smoke weed, and I think that's what I was going for or

you're just resourceful that's true Kyle yeah like hemp people have changed nowadays nowadays it's like nowadays if you're using it you're like resourceful it's a resource area and and fucking also smoking hell of weed bro yeah hemp has changed I guarantee, the percentage of people who have a hemp product, 98% of them smoke weed. Yes, they believe in the plant, it's true. And 2% of them didn't know the thing they got from their son for Christmas was made of hemp,

but he's just like, open it up, mom. It's actually a hemp made candle. Do you like your sweatshirt? It's made of weed. It's soap, but it's like hemp hemp made candle. Do you like your sweatshirt? It's made of weed. It's soap, but it's like hemp soap. Actually. Hey, grandma, put on the scarf. It's made of weed.

The grandma's like, you could have just got me CBD oil, and that would have been fire. And the grandma's like, I don't give a fuck. I rip. Right? Pulls the fucking bowl out of her butth give a fuck, I rip. Right? Pulls the fucking bowl out of her butthole. Smoke weed everyday. Hypothetically.

Cool grandma. Ripping Grammy. Yeah bro. I have a bowl in my butthole. Don't even trip bro, I'm ripping bongs. Braz. No man, I didn't know that anybody who had an actual hemp chain wallet, but uh, I went straight to hot topic to get my dude.

You should have came with me and my how long was it? How long was it? Is the question long and went down to about the knee like zoot suit style. That's the whole you don't want it to be long, right? The whole point is that that was that was a thing is like they there was when it was in style, like after Blake got that people would people would connect chains together and do Long-ass change remember that also fucking multiple two chains two chains We ain't talking titty boy. Is that why he got that name?

Chain wallet. Yeah. Yeah, I think watch a pocket watch and a chain wallet The Princess Bride is like everyone's favorite movie. Yeah, I mean, that's a great school movie. School movie? Yeah, well you watch it in school. When Harry Met Sally, Romcom. What do you mean, it's a great school movie? That every time it rained and you couldn't go outside, they put on, uh, what's it called?

Glory. Hoosiers. Glory. Yeah. Rudy. Tucker. A man in his dream. We watched glory once a week Oh, no, it was always Princess Bride. That shit was always Way they would wheel out the little TV

I mean, that's a that's a pretty cool deep cut the best movie I ever saw in school was fucking Tucker man in his dream But what's crazy Carrie Elwes, he's in both of those. What the fuck's up with that? I don't know, man. Kerry, and he's in Workaholics, so he's a true artist. What are your edibles telling you about that? Wait, what's he in? What's he in?

All right, we did it, we did it already. Kerry Elwes was in- I'm living in a nightmare. Princess Bride and Glory, Glory. Oh, okay, okay, cool. Glad we got to the bottom of that. Tight. That is...

Yeah, fuckin'. And as Adam said, more golecs. Very cool, very fun. That episode was actually fun because we had two iconic dudes from way back. We had... Biff from way back. We had Biff Biff Biff also now known as Tom Wilson being bullies. I'm not chunking. Yeah, you're like, oh, you got to, you got to flow for Tom? OK. OK.

Don't call me chicken. OK. It's a screen door into Battleship. Screen door into submarine. Acting so smooth, looking like Kerry Hilsa. Durs has the mic? Yeah. OK.

Coming to you, Adam. And I pass this to the mic player. OK. I have the mic. Mic, it's so tight. Yeah it is. I will sing. He's on the in-a-bles, incredible, un-bent-able, dab-able, dab-able, dab-able. And I pass the mic to Blake.

Yo Blake, hit him with it. He turned off the beat, Blake turned off the beat. I just don't want to get sued, man. I don't want to get sued, man. It's easier to hold in the P than to get sued man. I don't want to get sued man. It's easier to hold in the pee than poo man. To me it's way easier to hold in the pee than poo man. Let it be known, if you need two bars, we got you.

Hey I just need that one bar of payday. Is it a bar? Is it a bar? Oh, a payday bar. Wow. Okay, now we're heating up. Concept. We're heating up. Dude, I got a big fucking boner right now.

I got a boner. Do you? Whip it. Can we see? Can you whip it back and forth? I'd love to see your boner, dude. Whip the nae nae? Yeah.

Let me see it. Oh yeah, well, we talked on the pleasure is ours. I miss it. Sorry about that. I missed it. It's OK. Frozen Man. Anders was being a big time movie star and flexing on us.

Actor, huge actor. I was needed on set is what we say. And refused to do the podcast. But we're doing this one now. And we all agreed that we're all gonna get a kitchen With the thing that you weigh food on yeah scale and a scale yeah. Oh they call them scales and We're all going to weigh our cocks and see how heavy the meat is our cock is yeah

Do I have to I Do I have to? I'm a man. Do I have to? Yeah, you have to. It's a deal. We all agree. They want two numbers. Well, you don't have to do it. Well, because we were talking about, like who has the heaviest cock?

Right. I said Adam's, Adam said his cock was small and I said it rings a little heavier than mine. It seems that way. Yeah, yeah. Maybe not larger, but heavier. Right. Yeah.

Is it cool if I get a boner and then I do a handstand? It seems alright. Maybe not larger, but heavier. Right. Is it cool if I get a boner and then I do a handstand that pushes, it pushes down on the scale? Winning. Did you guys already cover this? Holy shit, this is 190 pounds. Have you covered this already?

It's a cock push up? Yeah. The first number is weight of dick, only dick, no balls. Second number is weight of dick with balls. And third number is about. All righty then. About. Well, no, the boner I might not because it'll,

it'll kind of raise off the scale. You won't be able to. Exactly. You know what I mean? Oh, you'll have to press it down. I think one of my first tweets ever was, when I was I was trying to be like what's gonna make a mark here I was like yeah content is king content. I love your content Exactly. I was like, here we go Twitter

Way more when you have a loner Yeah, do you weigh more when you have a boner? That's a great question. Suddenly, are you like, whoa, I'm tipping the scales here. And then it's like. No, no, the blood just moved from elsewhere. Yeah, the displacement theory doesn't work. Well, does ice weigh more than water? No. Yeah, I guess that is the exact same thing.

Actually, Blake, I think you're right. You're onto something scientifically, because I don't think that ice and water weigh the same. I think there's some mixture of things. They don't. Ice is filled with air. Right. It's lighter. So when you get a boner, who's to say you're not getting more air in your bloodstream? Maybe you don't have more blood. Maybe you have more air. Right? Your dick is full of air. You're a stupid dumbass. Yeah, it's like a hot air balloon. Yeah. If you found out your dick was full of air. Uh-huh. Yeah, it's science It's a balloon animal. That's why it rises. It's a it's a hot air balloon. That's right. Exactly

That's tight. I do wish when you got a boner it squeaks like a balloon animal Yeah helium fills the shaft and it rises and then that's why when if you spring a leak and somebody sucks on it They're their voice goes at high If you spring a leak and somebody sucks on it, their voice goes up high. What? My face! That's why I what? What'd you say? There's helium.

You don't get after somebody sucks on your dinghy, their voice gets all high after they do it. Wait, what's up? They're like, I gotta wash my face! I gotta wash my face! I'm trying to feel like if I remember that. I gotta go! I gotta wash my face?

Oh boy. You scoundrel. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Gotta wash my face. Oh boy. You scoundrel. Yeah. Oh Sorry, you guys sorry that's how I do it every time I don't I know either I porno raised You know, what's up, you're an aruguloid. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry dog. I always that's why I went to the fucking sizzler was to get the buffet Oh, yeah, dude. I forgot you're a gangster you go to sizzler and don't get the fucking steak door cups winning you don't get lobster Yeah, cheese up hose down that was my shit back at you know, I when I was a kid

I used to my family when it was your birthday You got to choose the restaurant that you get a go to. Yes. Must be nice. Tony Romus. Sizzling on. No, literally, I remember being a kid, I knew my family was on a budget, you know, I just, that's the thing that I hear my mom talk about.

So I remember seeing a commercial for Sizzler and they had that garnish and it looked so fucking good. And I'm like, oh man, I'm gonna, I can't believe I'm even floating this idea. So I was all I was mad nervous and I'm like, for my birthday, I hope we can afford it. I would really like to go to Sizzler. And my mom goes, yeah, I think we can swing that honey. Oh, shit. All right, man. Yeah, she like took me on a little bit of a ride. And I'm like, oh, special treat. That was a big deal to go to Sizzler. Yeah, bro. took me on a little bit of a ride and I'm like, oh Special tree that was a big deal to go to sizzler. Yeah, bro

Like I remember fucking people would always say it when they won like what are you gonna do next? I'm going to sizzler, right? I don't know. It's easy that no is Disneyland Disneyland They've literally never said wasn't that wasn't there a dance or something like I'm gonna see Said wasn't that wasn't there a dance or something like I'm gonna see Going to Disneyland you I like what you said when they won yeah, not even like a championship just like a regular game You just want the championship. I swear somebody said they're I swear somebody said they're going to Sizzler, bro. Wait, wait, you just won the fucking NBA championship. I ain't even here. Where you gonna go?

I'm going to Sizzler, Lord. Troy Aikman, you just scored the winning touchdown for the Dallas Cowboys. Where you going? I'm going to Sizzler, man. Yeah, I thought it was like some Olympians. Sizzler man. I thought some like Olympians or something. Kyle heard Disneyland and in his little brain, he heard Sizzler man.

I gotta go to Sizzler man. Yeah I swear I heard him say Sizzler man. You are so dumb. I think it was a thing to go to Sizzler for your birthday though right because there's like it's your birthday you're going to Sizzler like I feel like what are you talking about what can no one has ever said this dude. What are you talking about? What reality are you living in? Does nobody have this rough in the pipe buddy? I've been a sizzler. What is this? What's they saying to you? I Would like to compliment all of us actually because I believe we started making content together Yes, yeah, and I think we have a hell of a lot of great content in our wake.

Yeah. Yeah. That is true. You know, when we do it, we do it together, and I'm just happy to be here with you guys. Hey. Good job. I love it.

When we go, we go hard. Yeah. We go hard. I love it. Fucking good. And I love that you're saying, when we do it, we do it together. Adam is in Atlanta making something without us. I'm in Mobile, you're in Canada, but when we make it.

Yeah. I'm making it together. Hey, but look at this guys. Well, you know what I was getting at? We're all in different parts of the country and the world. Yes. But we still come together for the pod because we love making content. Yeah.

Together, together. I'm scared right now and I'm very sorry making content. Together, together. And that's it. I'm still doing it now and I'm very sorry about that. That's important. That's what you're doing, right? Oh, look at Kyle. Very, very, very, bro, I'm sorry, I'm stoned. I'm sorry, I've been stoned.

Should we do two more minutes? Kyle just took a big inhale. Shh, okay. You know, I fought through that whole one. Hi, boy. What, you fought through, yo, okay, because you weren't high? You couldn't? No, I was very high whole one. Hi, boy. What? You fought through? Yo, because you weren't high? You couldn't?

No, I was very high for pretty much the whole time. Oh, nice. Smoke weed every day. Yeah, I lost my mind on the last podcast. I got too high and I was crying from laughing for my good friends. I love you guys. I love you guys. This is important.

All right. Okay, so that's it, right? And that's it. I don't know. And we you guys. This is important. All right. Okay. So that's it, right? And that's it. I don't know. And we're done. And we are done. I don't even know.

And we are done. Last one. We rolled up really slizzard and just feeling ballsy. I'm like, pizza's on me. People were like, that macaroni and cheese. That wasn't even to dodge the line. We already bought it and you were like yeah I miss getting a slizzard with you guys. I've been slizzard with my boys and in quite a while now

We gotta get slither. Who's the last time I got was the bachelor party? Yeah, yeah, it's never enough. It's never never dude honestly Adam after your wedding I I went sober for 22 days, dude But now my this villager dropped and I had to get back on the sauce Kyle was like Kyle thought he had you know, what is it keep going go for 23 24 25? No, no How could you not enjoy a villager mango margarita? My god, it's delicious Is that just a mixed drink in a can? That's right. Yeah, that's right. It's very good. I love it Yeah, I love that. Those are becoming a thing

I I think my co-stars in in this movie about my father that I did down in mobile Yes, I want to hear more about Alabama I think they think I'm like a drunk because at dinner I would get like three or four drinks and they'd be like I'll get A I'll have a drink tonight. That could be nice. Yes Then I'd be like I need another margarita and they would be like, oh, yeah guys were we're animals. We're animals Yeah, I sometimes forget that we are little monsters. Yes, and Yeah, we just drink people out of the table. Unfortunately, yeah No, and we might be a little bit of alcoholics, but you know.

I mean, I am. We have fun with it. I'm normally keeping pace with like Ateeba and Ateeba is the, yeah, man. That's why I do that. I know, no. I mean, I'm watching you guys. It is very interesting from the, cause you know, like we came up together and fucking, I still got the rowdy in me even when I don't drink.

You know, I can still like fucking turn up with you guys, but the level at which the turn up occurs is fucking nuts, dude. Yeah, we're still turning it up to 11. I wonder when that'll stop. When you have a heart attack. Is this the podcast where we just go, what the fuck are we doing? We. We're 38 knocking on 40.

Yeah dude. Yeah, Zquill and that's, I mean, bro, there's a lot happening. There's a lot happening. There's a lot happening. It's crazy. It's Lizard and Sizzler. I love it. I love it. There's a lot happening. Yep. Yep.

I love it. Hard lessons. There's a lot happening. Yep. And I love it. There is. Well, yeah. No, thank you. Thank you. There's a lot happening, yep. And I love it. There is. Well yeah, no thank you. Thank you for giving us a week off.

I enjoyed it. This is a chore for me. Well I'll say, I enjoyed coming back and talking to you guys. My gosh, I missed the hell out of you. I did too. I missed you guys. This is an absolute chore for me.

Here's my apology, Kyle.'m sorry. We're still friends I don't want to be that black cloud over you so sorry that we're we're pressuring you into this Friendship super rough. I loved the week off. It's rough to do this with you I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I enjoy it with you guys. He's kidding. He's joking Hey, man, what are you into? I have the hookup the hookup the hookup for what I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't Made a private dick joke until now poppers Why are there so many poppers all roads lead to theup. You think it's causing people to turn aggro?

I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to... Yeah, that's a word for it. Listen to The Hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City, and Narcos, and Roadhouse, and now I'm starting a podcast, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get Ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories

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