This Is Important - Best Of: The Guys Have Baggage

Episode Date: January 24, 2023

The best of luggage talk!! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Here we go. Start your engines. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. So I'm going to Charleston, right, to shoot the righteous gemstones. Right.

So I bought all this weed. Yes. I'm going to go on the plane with this amount of weed that I'm about to show you. On the, do you want to carry it on? Why don't you just pack it? Well, I'm going to pack it. But I'm, yeah, you're fine. Okay.

Shove it up your ass. I'm going to get, I might shove some of it up my ass. No, no, no. Some of it is suppository. Okay. Tight. I got chocolate chip cookies, which I'm pretty stoked on. Yum, yum.

I got. Elastia Day. I know. I got two candy bars, you know. Should we be like saying how many years it is in prison for each item? Yeah. It's none. There's no years.

For flying with a bunch of weed to a place that's not legal? Is it not legal in Charleston? No. That's the whole, that's what we're talking about. Oh. You'll be fine. Gummies. And then a bag of these, what I'm super stoked on, are these little tiny mini joints, but

they're covered in Keef, Kyle. Remember those? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm actually Adam. Adam, I'm actually back. I'm back smoking, dude. So like.

Oh, you're back on it, dude. Wait a minute. Are you serious? Are you serious? Is that real? I swear to you guys. I swear. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Thank you, God. Yeah. I'm smoking some weed. Yeah. Will you ever mess with these little doggies?

Fuck yeah. I mess with those doggies. Yeah. Yeah. Will you tell everyone at home what those little doggies are? They're called. I haven't smoked them yet. I'm excited.

I'm kind of like saving them for Charleston because I leave Monday and what are those little doggies? They're called baby teeters. And they're little tiny joints and they're covered in keef on the outside. He's excited about it. If they're anything like the bigger ones, they taste yummy, yummy for my tummy. Yes, sir. So your preference is smoking?

I do. I like to smoke joints. 100%. Me too. But then I also like a yummy ed as well. And why do you like smoking most of all? Because you're about hashtag fitness and I'm just wondering if it like hinders or does it help?

No, smoking weed. I won't say it helps because I think I get... It's science. I think it's science. It's science. It's science. But no, sometimes I'll get a little stoned and especially if I'm doing cardio like if I'm on the bike, I just kind of get in the zone and I'm pumping them pads.

Right. Yeah, baby. But what I'm really messing with lately is the packs of these little joints called selfies and there's 12 mini pre-rolls that comes in one pack and it's perfect if you're just smoking by yourself because my girl doesn't smoke. So a lot of times it's just me getting high by myself and they're the perfect amount. But I got two giant bags full of weed and we don't think that me traveling, I'm going to get in any kind of whoopsie doozles.

Here's what I would say. If you're nervous about it, I think you could pack some of that stuff with you on your... I wouldn't just bring it with you on your carry-on in case they check it because they'll be like, yo, what the fuck? They're like, hey, that's a lot of weed. If they put it in the checked luggage, all good. The other thing you could do is just mail it to yourself. Just mail it to the fucking address.

Also illegal. Yeah, but nobody checks the fucking address. I would strap it all to your chest just under your shirt and it might puff out a little bit and... Should I write this down? Yeah. Okay. It's wear a puffy jacket.

Just wear a puffy jacket where sunglasses inside, no one will bother you. I think that'll be a good look for riding on an airplane. There you go. Well, I just came back. When I came back from Mexico after doing wedding stuff, I'm an international drug smuggler because I smuggled drugs to Mexico. Allegedly. Well, just weed.

Allegedly. I'm telling you though I did. And then... Yeah! I'm allegedly telling the truth. And then on the way back, I didn't smoke all the joints I brought. I got a little aggressive with the amount of joints that I brought to Mexico for a four-day trip.

And then on the return, I had a bunch of weed, so I brought it back with. And Chloe, as we're going through, you know how they have the drug sniffing dog that smells you when you're coming back through customs? Yeah. There's two lines. And the line that I was in, there's no dog. And it was smooth saline. And I'm like, yeah.

And then Chloe calls me back and goes, Adam! The weed that you have on you. Come look at this dog! Exactly. She goes, Adam, no, you got to have the dog smell you. And I'm like... What? And I didn't want to go, no, I'm good.

So I walked back and had this dog smell my bag, and the dog didn't give a shit. I had like three joints on me, it just didn't care. But... I mean, that dog must have been so high already from sniffing everything else. I don't think it's a thing that you really... I think people just look the other way. I've had people look the other way after looking at my marijuana on both international and on domestic flights.

Do you think that's because they recognize you as Carl from Workaholism? That has to be. It has to be. Not at all. It's just because it's not worth it. It's just like it's one little pen that's got a little weed in it, and they're like... Well, you say that until you visit Thailand, and all of a sudden you're in a hut with bamboo shoots going through your, you know, underneath your fingernails, some crazy shit.

Oh, you're saying torture. True. They're torturing you. Yeah, that's rough. Have you ever seen Locked Up in a Broad, homie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear you. I actually haven't watched that show too much.

I haven't seen it. Oh, you should watch that. That one's gnarly. It's always like... What's usually like, it's like some 20-year-old girl, and she's like, I met this guy. He was really fun. And then she said we could go to Aruba and vacation with him if I just have to stick this balloon up my ass, and I didn't know what it was, and I just thought this guy's kinky.

And then she... Is that your dick? Yes. Yeah, it's my dick. And keep my dick in you on this entire flight. It's a disgusting habit. Attachable penis. Did you just jizz?

What is that? It's my jizz. Don't make fun of me. I'm super sensitive about it. If you love me, you won't say anything about it. Okay. Yeah, and it's... But then every once in a while, it's just like a stoner, it was like she was the stoner

friend. Stephanie, the stoner friend, she wore necklaces and had beads in her hair. We all love Stephanie. And then Stephanie brings like a gram of marijuana to the Philippines or where the fuck ever. And suddenly she's locked away for like 20 years over like the tiniest amount of weed. Yeah, they don't fuck around. Yeah, the most nervous I've ever gotten was bringing weed to international places. Yeah.

Like in America, I'm not too worried about it. I felt pretty confident in going to Mexico because I'm like, hmm, yeah, it's fine. They're down. They're down. They're down. They're cool down here. I still wrap it, double wrap it, shrink it. Oh, should I do stuff to it?

I was just going to literally put it in a tie-dye hooded sweatshirt. You flip it and reverse it? I still like, you know, double shrink wrap, vacuum seal that shit and put it in the places. Yeah. I go to those lengths. Okay. Okay. I'm looking for advice here.

And you're just telling me to stick it in my luggage one second. And then when we... But you're going to Charleston. That's right. I'm not worried about America. Oh, okay. I'm talking about when you're going international. Okay.

Oh. I hope you're... I hope you're okay. I hope you're so bored, Anders, when we're talking about drugs. Can we talk about swimming or something? Jesus Christ. We're talking about packing luggage, basically. Mail it to yourself.

No, we're talking about smuggling drugs, man. Tell me a fucking story about being high. No, you know what? We're really just talking about fears. We're talking about fears here, okay? And it's okay to talk about fears with your buds. Improv, Anders. Yeah, yes, Anne, the situation.

Okay. He kind of did with a snore. He kind of did. I kind of like to talk about getting in jail and prison abroad. That's kind of fun. Now, do you have zippers on your luggage or...? Oh, back to the luggage. Okay.

Do you roll your t-shirts or do you fold them? I actually don't have zippers on my luggage. It's actually kind of a thing. Now we're talking. Wait, what do you mean it's kind of a thing? What the fuck is that? The little parts of the actual, the part that you grab when you zip. I don't know where it went, man.

I stole my little, the grabby parts. The dongle came off, the grabby parts. You know what you can do to replace that? Put a couple of paper clips in there, man. Just thread it through, twist it up, and fucking grab that shit. Yeah, I could. I could, but I don't want it to look too janky. I don't want people to be like, obviously, this guy is smuggling tons of little baby

joints covered in keef. Right. No, that's just a hot, hot tip for everybody struggling with their luggage out there. No, I mean, that's what this podcast has become. Important tips. Yeah. Hot, hot tip. How to pack your drugs.

Well, Chloe's gone. Chloe, I'm alone here in Charleston for like the next month, which I'm like a little worried about because every time she was like, he's a drug addict. I'm out of here. I'm leaving you. Yeah. Guys, that's Adam's nice way of saying Chloe left him. Yeah, she, uh, he left.

Why come to terms with his mind yet? It's like a month. I think it'll, she'll be back in a month or something. She didn't say, but she's coming back. You know, girls bring all their luggage to close with him. Gotta look nice. Yeah. She said, uh, this is scary Sunday and dit.

Yeah. Yeah. Scary Sunday. She's like, this is a Sunday scary. Adam, if I could make a suggestion, just stay away from LSD, stay away from the stove and just sit down and marathon some Jackie Chan rush hour. I think that, yeah, I think that's where my head was at. I was like, well, maybe I spent some time.

I brought all these edibles here with me. I might as well mantra on a few of them. That's right. And how did you pack those? How did you get those there? Thank you for asking. Uh, I just put it in my, by the way, McBride saw all of my edibles and he was like, how the fuck did you get all these here?

And I was like, I just put them in my luggage. He goes, you're fucking psychopath, dude. Well, let's expound on that, like zippers. There are, do you have like one of those little rainbow tassels? So, you know, it's your luggage. No, no, it's to me. It's quality shit. Oh, dude.

Yeah. But, uh, yeah, he thought I was a fucking lunatic. Your advice was just to throw it in my backpack. I agree. That's crazy. You know what? Ders is mad about luggage is because this bro used to have the roller bag and take it to school.

He wasn't a backpack kid. He was a roller bag dude. I can sense it. Let's go. Get him. Yeah. Wait, I wish. Ders, weren't you a roller bag kid?

So, this is how crazy, this is how old I am. Ders is before wheels. There's no roller bags homing. I don't know what you're talking about, Blake. You don't remember the kids that would take the roller bag to school? I think what Blake is trying to do, he's trying to paint the picture of Ders as he's that type of kid. But admittedly, roller bags came after, much after Ders finished high school.

In college. In college. I remember seeing roller bags and being like, how is this a thing? Kids can't just carry bags? What's next? Flying cars? Donald Sutherland is the greatest actor of my generation. Okay, Ders, where are you at?

Hey, leave him alone. I don't give a fuck. Come at me. Okay. All right. Fuck you. Can I make another assumption? If roller bags weren't invented yet while you were in school, were you at least a kid

who didn't rock a backpack but had one big binder? Were you just like, I have a binder kid and that's it? I don't know. No, I wasn't that kid either. I had a backpack and here's what I remember. Messenger bags became very popular. That was a little trend and I was tempted, didn't dip into it. A lot of other kids would do a backpack strap over the shoulder, messenger bag style, also

very tempting. Yes. But I held strong. The one armed. And like, I would rock it high up, everyone else would rock it super low hanging off. That's a super tending thing, the way you wore your backpack, how low did the straps go? I can see Blake wearing it below his asshole.

Like it definitely hurt his back. It was way uncomfortable. Yeah. Super low. I had a homie who wore it in the front. That was his whole fucking stains. Okay. That was kind of a girl move at my school.

Yeah, I dug that though. That was cool. If you were getting something out, you could kind of go through your index and like, you know, it's right there in front of you. Yeah. You can pull out a piece of paper, hand it. Yeah. I feel like back in those, like the low strap was a thing.

Like you, you rocked your backpack, hell of a low strap. And then if you were playing like a guitar or a bass, you rock that very low as well. Straps were hanging very low and in the 90s. The 90s. Like you're saying in the 90s. Yeah. In the 90s. No bullshit.

I've been on eBay the last like month looking for the backpack I had in high school and I can't fucking find it. I rocked with a yellow Jansport represent. Yeah. I had a bunch of Jansports with the leather bottom. What was it? Durs? First generation, new balance.

It was an Eagle Creek. I was rocking the new balances, but it was an Eagle Creek red backpack with like the flap on the top and the drawstring type shit. Right. I don't know what you call that. Like a top loader. Yeah. I feel like there was only two types of backpacks in the suburban neighborhood of Millard, Nebraska.

It was just a Jansport and like Eastman or Eastpack or something like that. Yeah. Eastpack. Yeah. You know what the big flex was? Do you remember like it was if you got a Jansport, did you have the suede bottom? Remember like some Jansports had the brown suede bottom and that was a flex. Well, it was leather.

It wasn't suede. Was it leather? Pure leather? It was leather. Right. On the bottom of your backpack, it could get fucked up immediately. No, but it's extra durable. It was just leather.

It was leather. Okay. My bad. I guess the shoes were suede. The air walks were suede. The backpacks were leather. Don't come at me with not knowing your leathers. Okay.

I'm sorry. Know your leathers around there. I'm sorry. The North Face backpack was the big flex because those were like $75 or $80 or something crazy. Oh, I don't even know if that was on my map. Yeah. It was like Jansport. It was Jansport or bus, dude.

Yeah. Or you got the cheaper one. Yeah. Kmart was wall-to-wall with Jansports. You could get black. You could get green. You could get red. I will say that when I first started to see kids with the rollerbags, I was like, nerds.

I would, yeah, for sure. For sure at my school, you're getting pumped. I don't know if you would get full on your ass kicked, but you're definitely getting pumped. Beat his ass. I feel like if you're rolling a bag around, somebody's going to kick that fucking bag. Yeah. They're kicking a bag for sure.

For sure. And you got to go up and down stairs. I don't understand. I don't understand. Well, then you can put the thing down and grab it by the handle, just like it. I know, but that's like you're going through the airport. It's a fucking nightmare. I mean, all you need is a belt to go around your books and you just carry them.

That's the sickest, dude. That is the sickest. You know, there's some dude in Brooklyn who's running around like that for sure. Absolutely. Are these roller bags that you're that you're talking about? Like, are they? I don't have a frame of reference. It's a backpack with the roller.

Roller bags. It was like the like at the airport, like a suitcase, like the airport is called a roller bag. It has two wheels at the bottom. It has the handle that goes. People fucking yes, children across America definitely did that 10 years or so ago. No frame of reference, Kyle. You don't even you don't even acknowledge the suitcase I'm talking about.

Like a roller. I don't know what you're talking about. Kyle. A roller bag. Like a carry-on suitcase. No, no, no. That's what I'm saying. I understand the carry-on suitcase.

I just don't have a frame of reference of people taking that shit to school. You don't. Mr. Dorsey had a motherfucking one, allegedly. He's a teacher. He's a fucking teacher, though. Goodbye. Well, there were there were many Dorsey's. Okay.

Click on the link. Anagis sent you something. Here they are. The roller backpacks. Roller backpacks. Here we go. I hope this fucking it's not that hard to to figure out. You know it.

Yes. I love it. Jesus Christ. I love this print. The computer forward, I'm not going to say nerds, but like the homies that were already like rocking laptops at school had roller bags. Wait, you guys had friends that had laptops at school? No, we didn't.

This is this is a false. Blake's making shit up. I remember a kid bringing one to school. Huge flex. But at the same time. Yes, there were laptops. What the fuck are you talking about? I feel like you maybe stayed in high school longer than me.

It's something, dude. Like, well, it's Paws was held back for man. Yeah, dude, there were not laptops at my high school. No one has specifically remembered. His name was Robbie. He had a lot. He had a roller back. I don't remember his last name is Robbie.

Robbie laptop roller bag, bro. Dude, this might be a made up story from your asset. Roller bag. Robbie, I feel like you're making this up like you're getting it confused with college or something because this is not a current. I don't know why you think it's still out of the realm of possibility that a homie in high school had a roller black bag and a laptop. It's the it wasn't the only bags that we're rolling.

We're fucking bowling bags, bro. That was it. All right, Blake. I think I think you're thinking of college. I mean, we all went to college and dude, we got dels. It's science. We still thought we were in high school when we were in college. So that's fair. I got a gateway computer.

Do you remember that shit? Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, gateway country with the cow with the cow. Yeah, cow box. That's a sick computer to that computer fried after like three months. I went, I think I got like three of them before I was like, can I just have my money back for real? Well, Anna is saying our producer Anna is saying that these roller backpacks, they were for kids with back problems because books were getting too heavy.

No, I don't buy it. Who the fuck are these kids? Well, that was my question. Well, for sure, books were crazy heavy, but that's why you have a locker. Kids, drop off some of these books, carry you the one or two books you need and then go back to your locker. No, only Dorsey's lockers. Because people hike around with giant fucking bags with like the

waist straps and shit and like you just strap it tight and you're fine. If anything, you're getting stronger. It's it's bullshit. And that's and that's why the youth of America is so fucking weak nowadays because they weren't strapping it tight like we were. Yeah, straps. Blake, since you remember these bags, could you put these bags on your shoulders as well or were they strictly rollers?

Yes, yes, yes, you could. What do you look at the picture? See, Blake has no fucking clue what you're talking about. She just sent it to us. We're all looking at it. Everyone at home is freaking out. Blake, you're making up stories. There is no you have Mandela affected

yourself into high school for two decades. There was no roller bag, Robbie. So I made up this guy, I made up this kid, roller bag Robbie with the laptop. He's like, hey, dude, you know what? I think it is. I think this is from when you did acid. Your acid trick and it's sort of like melted that part of your brain.

And is this my weird like fight club where Kyle would watch me go into like computer lab and then I'd be like, I wasn't there. Oh, no, I was with you guys. I'm smoking cigarettes at school. No, you never smoked cigarettes with us. You never did that. I did. I smoked Caprice, dude. You remember that?

Yeah, I do remember. That's the only. That's the only smoking smoke is tiny little Caprice, which was sick as fuck. Dude, I wanted to be friends with my homies so bad because they all smoke cigarettes that I was like, OK, I'll smoke smoke Caprice. You know how you also stayed away from it, too? Is you were like, I only smoke Caprice. And then you were like, I only smoke with my feet.

I'm sorry, I didn't have a roller bag in high school. Well, also that whole thing was kind of out of left field because Blake isn't usually one to just shit on someone from a distance. It's weird. I wasn't shitting. I was I wasn't shitting. I was assuming I'll apologize. But excuse me, you go, I bet you are one of those nerds of the roller bag. And I'm just like letting it wash over me.

Like burning others feels good. Where are you going with this? You're projecting, homie. You're the dude who's smoking with his feet. Player who was Roller Robby. I was. Yeah, you. It all comes to a. Finally, your acid haze is cleared.

And you realize that you were always Roller Robby. I know Blake got put into a roller bag by somebody. You weren't even in high school then. Kyle was my friend by default. Kyle was the guy who's like, saw me as the person who had no friends. And he's like, I'll be his friend just because I'm afraid. Kyle's your Tyler Durton. Yeah, Kyle wasn't even there.

Smoke this cigarette. Come on, man. OK, well, hey, I will apologize to Anders for assuming he was a roller bag guy. I don't know what got into me. I don't care. Hey, assume away. OK, Kyle, you know, you're down in Southern California and you are a baby. Yeah, that's right. Did you fly down with that in your suitcase?

And if so, can we talk luggage? Oh, dude, we can. Oh, no, the return of the luggage talk. Should we talk luggage and how to travel with the. I did, Adam. Thank you so much for asking. I drove down with my new Samsonite roller bag. All right, Samsonite.

How do we not have a Samsonite? Oh, my God. That is sick, dude. I was way off. It's got the hard plastic on the outside. You know the hard shell. Dude, I like those. The luggage talk is back.

I like those a lot. Dude, I've been trying to up my luggage game. Chloe got me a bunch of away stuff. Oh, talk about it. It's nice. I like it. I like it. But I want that hard talk about.

Can you charge your phone on an away luggage on the older bag? Don't you have to charge it first? Yeah, it's annoying. And then and then when you roll it on, they stop you as if you are a full blown terrorist and it's your sole purpose is to blow this plane up every time. Because it's so it's like the maximum size because they can't. They you you're not allowed to keep it in your suitcase while you travel. You're not allowed to keep.

I'm sorry. I guess I'm lost. What are we talking about? A charger? You guys are blowing my mind. I just want to pack my suitcase. Oh, my God. The charger in in the bag in the bag.

So there's one that's like it's like inside the bag. It's very handy if you could travel with it. OK, but then you go through and then every I took it out right away because I got hassled and then I just keep it in my backpack. You're not allowed to keep it in the the suitcase because I guess one got stuck and then got warm and then they like a plane somewhere like this is this is. Oh, yeah, but no fire happened. It was just warm.

Ready for this? This is a way. There we go. We got a mando. That sucks. That's too bad. Yeah, because it was a good feature, dude. And I love we're talking luggage on this almost high holiday.

Dude, I'm excited. I love some luggage talk. Dude, look at you. You're leaning in close. Oh, my God. Now, is it you zip it in half and open it and then are both sides zipped closed within the opening or just one side? Dude, I love that.

That's how I fuck. Oh, I got the one side right now, but I got another piece of luggage that has the two sides that zip. And I like that one. Oh, my God. I like that one a little bit better. Now, you're Samsonite that hard case because I've been look. I'm an eye in that one, dude.

I saw that and I'm giving it some side eye. Yeah, bro. What's that like? Oh, yeah. Loose butthole. Loose butthole. What's that one? Mary King, R.I.P.

Loose butthole. Hey, that's what all TII nations think about this luggage talk. My God, man. It's 419. It's 420 Eve. Dude, see, we're looping back around because I thought Adam was it. Were you a to me guy, Adam? What happened?

Oh, God, come on. I was a to me boy. Thank you for giving me a little about to get the barrel. No, I have a to me bag. I have a to me bag. Thank you for bringing me back in hot, hot luggage talk. Loose butthole. I was a to me guy at all to me everything.

It's too expensive. Did you have monogrammed to me? You're not that guy, pal. Trust me. Well, we said one of the first things that she was attracted to me about what attracted me to her was my monogram. And we met on an airplane. Right, right, right, right.

Was this booty, obviously. But we met on an airplane and she noticed the monogrammed matching to me luggage set that I had. And she was like, oh, this boy is an adult man. But, you know, that was like damn near a decade ago. It's time to re up my lifestyle. When you got that to me bag, I got my to me bag. I got it in grave, too.

I got the I call it engraved. I don't say monogram. I got my luggage engraved, you know. Yeah, dude. I also I also misspeak a lot and say engraved as well. Yeah, it's definitely the correct way to say it is monogram. But I don't know if it's ever engraved has to be like a stone, a hard, yeah, a hard surface.

I get it. Is that because of like a gravestone? Do you think? No, I would guess. Yeah. Do you think you put it in your grave? Do you think that it's like on grave? It's actually French.

It's like on on grave, like on guard, but on grave. Yes, well said. God, Dan, you guys are a couple of the smartest dudes I know. I believe everything you say. I'm not a smart man. This reminds me of the episode of Horcaholics when one Blake was saying the word garage comes from go rage. Right.

I'm like, absolutely. Jesus Christ, you're genius. All right, go fuck it. We remember when luggage. No, please tell us more about luggage. We remember when luggage came in with the two wheels to pull, right? And then suddenly suddenly it was for the game and you dragged it completely upright, but you can still drag it on to that blew my fucking mind.

I know, but do you drag it on for or do you drag it on to still? Well, if I have a little bit, may I speak on this? May I speak on this? I got the Samsonite with the four rollers. First roller bag I've had with four and God damn, man, I'm using all four. I'm using all four. But it makes you walk like this. I love it.

It's so smooth. Water track. You walk kind of like upright as opposed to like nice and like rugged. I know, dragging it with you. You're a man with a bag. I like it. Water track. Well, forever, for years, I'm only probably like three years into taking

an actual roller back. And by the way, Blake is laughing because he's a duffel bag boy. We'll get to that. Go ahead, Adam. Absolutely. Yeah, he is a fucking duffel bag. I'm a duffel bag boy. He's a weekender.

I was a duffel bag boy for years until I started to travel all the time. And then when I would go on tour and you stand up and you're in a different city every night, right? And then you got to have this fucking duffel bag the whole time. No, it becomes like pointless, like you're working out when you're just fucking tired. You've got to have a roller. Yeah, I got the roller, man. You've got to have the roller back, no duffels.

Sometimes I'll do a duffel every once in a while, though. Just switch it up, you know what I mean? Hey, a nice leather, dude. Oh, so it's that stinky leather? Corey duffel. A little Corey duffel, shout out. Absolutely, baby. Wait, is there Corey duffel?

Who's Corey duffel? Do you know him, man? He's a conquer, he's a conquer dude, skateboarder. Yo, shout out to Corey duffel. Yeah, big shout out to Corey duffel. It's Corey duffy, but we were we were making a pun, man. It was points. It's not very funny.

Hey, well, I know a guy named Duffy. Oh, yeah. Shout out to him. Wait, his name is Corey duffel. What are you talking about? Skater from Concord? Are you talking about the dude who fucking had the Catholic combs long in his part? See, this is why we can't. This is why we can't.

You know, we're trying to make a podcast for everybody, not specifically one guy in the Bay Area that you guys can't remember what its name is. Come on now. Happy 419, Corey duffel. Happy 419, man. Smoke weed every day. What are the two best things about Corey duffel? No, no, we're not done talking luggage.

OK, he goes hard. He goes hard. I wish we won it. And he's still in the game and he's from Concord. That's three days. He goes hard and he's still in the game. Corey duffel anyway. And he's from Concord.

He's still in the game. Corey duffel, baby. Kyle, this all goes back to happy almost holidays. And you traveled with your weed. What did you pack? How did you pack it? Did you pack it something? It's a whole different animal.

Not a big deal. Me? Did you pack it some way special or? I was driving, Playboy. So you just put it in the bag. You didn't wrap anything. I put it in the fucking passenger seat. Yeah, just in the front seat with you.

Did you buckle it? I put it in the passenger seat because I'm smoking the whole goddamn way, doggy. Did you buckle it like it's a passenger, like a baby? Yeah, I buckled it in the car seat. Dude, I had the same problem in my neighborhood. There was like a finch or something that was attacking everybody's mirrors. Bird talk, the new luggage talk. Hey, vote now if you hate pickleball talk, luggage talk or bird talk more.

Bird talk, the deciding. A finch? Go ahead. Dude, I like it. I like it. I'm all about killing these birds. I know some of us aren't about killing birds, but I if it flies, it dies. That's my whole if it flies from top gun, it was that from top gun.

No, that's saying that I made up. I want to say I tell you what. The next tour I want to go on isn't a stand up tour. It's a this is important tour. That shit's important. Yes, that shit's important. I would have that next summer. Let's put that shit on the books next summer, bro.

A stage big enough for a pickleball court. Yes, we have a luggage set up in the like we can contact Toomey and maybe they want to sell luggage in the lobby as people are walking in. Brought you by Toomey. I love it. Samsonite. Pickleball challengers in the crowd. That's what I want.

Who wants to challenge? Goodbye. The luggage company away would for sure be like we're on board. Yeah, I guess you guys are selling this tour so well. There's a lot of pickleball and we're selling luggage. Yeah, dude, but it's special. This is important luggage and we're only serving. There's no food.

Only salads. Yes, goodbye. With beans. You know, there's like a photo booth with like cardinals. They get a shit on you and you're like goodbye. Dude, this would be the sickest, like little fast, bro. TII fast. It's an important festival.

Yeah. That's great. This festival is important. Dude, I like that. You're playing in a whole festival. Are there other acts? Or no, I thought it was just like. No, but there's all these.

Well, you're talking about all these things that you could do. It feels like a carnival, I guess. Well, that's just like when people are buying beer, like in the lobby, you know, like we're doing. We're doing medium sized theaters. 2000. OK, well, we're going to be doing all four of us as the headliner. But all of us are doing stand up.

We're doing our hand up beforehand. Oh, five. OK. Yep. Tight two. Yeah, two minutes each. It's a bagel. Tight two jokes.

Yeah. A little meet and greet. I don't know. That could be cool. A little outdoor. A little outdoor fest. Ooh. Outdoor, yeah, or indoor.

It's all good. We got Lovanos cooking meats on the side, bringing us meats while we chat. We got my stepfather's beef jerky. We're selling out of stand. Yeah. Dude, I absolutely love it. I would like to give flowers to Kyle for going to our friend,

Eric Griffin's wedding. Thank you for supporting. I would have liked to have been there. So I just want to say thank you for being the one to wave the flag for Team MOC. Thank you, buddy. Yep, yep. Happy to do it.

Happy to do it. Happy to go with witness love. And did you wear your leather satchel? Yes. Yeah, of course. What do you mean? I saw pictures. I'm like, wow, you clean up nice.

And then you just had the leather satchel on top of wedding attire. I clean up nice, but then the leather satchel dirties up. This is real leather. So the leather satchel is like a purse. Is that from a wand? Yeah, this is from all-wond custom leather. Have you ever seen me rock in this?

I know, and he makes good stuff. I just didn't know if it was. It doesn't know. I don't know if it was wedding appropriate. I don't even understand what you're talking about right now. I bring this thing everywhere. I agree with you, Derz. But I looked good.

I looked good, though. I had done the pink pants. You had a great outfit on. And then I just fucking crushed. Then you were also wearing this seven-point connected man's satchel. It's got two points. And it just kind of.

Two points? Cool shape, yeah. Oh, so I'm five points off, OK? Yeah. I just thought that thing was kind of nice for, I mean, I thought it was nice for dress. Like, I wasn't wearing a suit or anything. But you wear it all the time.

I was just wearing a button-up. So I thought it fit, like kind of like Indiana Jones. I was like, basically rocking linens, you know what I mean? Right. Everyone wants Indiana Jones. And when you go to weddings, make sure you look like Indiana Jones. Absolutely.

He was ready for anything, man. Indiana Jones with pink pants. I went to the bride, saw you, and she was like, ah, fuck, I was wearing that. God damn it. I have to take off. For sure, because it's a wedding. And that's what you wear.

I have to take off my leather satchel. Honestly, though, my wife, my wife didn't wear her. She brought a purse that did not match her outfit, because we were traveling. And a lot of people were talking about it. Oh, you're going to air her out like that? OK, wow. You know what I ended up doing with my purse?

I put her stuff that she needed in my purse. So I was holding stuff for her in my purse. You had a purse on a purse? So purse on a person. And that person was me. And I'm really fucking good. And I represented the MOC. Well, none of you guys even bothered to show up.

I would have loved to have been there. We know the story. Thank you. You got your flowers. Yes, thank you. Oh, yeah. This is what I felt like when I was getting out of the car, dude.

Do you take this woman to be your bride? I was like, weddings, why didn't it have to be a wedding? Hey, Jacques, there's a bouquet up here. I had a hat on, but I took it off, because I thought it was too much. Any other takebacks? Apologies. Well, shoot, I'll apologize to Eric Griffin

for not going to the wedding. And I called him and facetimed him and apologized that way as well. And I love you, bud, and you're a really great friend. And what was the reason? What was the reason? It's just a lot of stuff. I can't even, like, some stuff I can't even say on air.

Oh, wow. A lot of secrets. Blake has a lot of secrets, suddenly. He can't. You guys let us know. This is my year of secrets. He can't let us know a lot of things. I'm excited to find your secret TikTok account.

Well, I was just thinking about, like, I think it was Vietnamese food, and it was, like, this pounded out, like, veal dish. I wish I had the name of the place. It was so freaking good. OK, OK. It's very good. When I went up to Vancouver, just I went to Bandidas.

Do you remember that place? It was, like, a vegetarian burrito place. Oh, shout out. Yeah, dude. Place. And I was like, oh, dude, was this just good when I went up there? And then I had it this last week, and it's fucking good,

bro. Yes, dude. Yes. I'll go ahead and say it. What's up? What's up? Infinitely worse than luggage talk. It's not.

No, man. This is infinitely worse than luggage talk. We're talking about places. You don't remember half of them. Blake's like, oh, I wish I could remember. It was good. It was a good meal I had once. I just remembered a restaurant.

What are you doing coming out? You remembered a restaurant. So you're calling out a restaurant, like? I am. Yeah. I am doing that, yes. And I'm conversing with two of my friends, which I believe is the job.

I know. I'm just saying it's not. Dude, it's all about the sweet content. And I'm telling you, as far as boring topics go, this is worse than luggage talk. No, I mean, right now we are the Vancouver and Canadian Board of Tourism. We are sending people to one of the best.

Dude, they're going to flock to the city and go, hey, there's like a pounded veal that you have to. I don't know where it's at. Yeah. I remember this like. Blake told me it's here. That is true. OK, OK.

I don't know, just wherever, I know there's Asian food here, but I'm here for the pounded veal. Dude, I'm really actually trying to remember this burrito joint that Sean Malto put me on. It's like next to a skate shop. It's so good. I wish I knew the name. Hey, wow.

Buggies. It's called Buggies. Shout out Buggies Burrito in Vancouver. We have two places to give flowers at the end of the episode. I'll be going there. If you are in Vancouver, please hit up Buggies. It is a delicious burrito that it's not necessarily like super Mexican authentic tasting,

but it is delicious. None of this. Yeah, pizza's inside of it. It's it's a fries and gravy on the inside of this tortilla. Did I do that? It's a poutine burrito. Blake, genuinely, bro, thank you for the recommendation because I will be visiting Vancouver.

And I will be hitting up Buggies. Buggies rocks. Because I found it interesting. Hey, but what are you putting your clothes in to get there? Oh, I haven't started talking about that, but I've been thinking about getting new luggage. I've been thinking about it. Hey, you can't do this, man.

You can't do this. I need another size. I need another size. The rats pissed and shit over a lot of my luggage. One of my favorite pieces. I have a away carry on. You know, it's a problem when you call your luggage a piece. And a way carry on that was a basketball.

I hate this. And it was gripped on the outside, much like a spalding basketball. Love it. Wow, that's actually kind of tight. They pissed and shit on it. Got to get new luggage. Sorry about that. This rocks, bro.

Oh, dude, dude, dude, if we want to talk about talks, I'm getting a new set of luggage, homie. Yeah. Oh, good. Oh, good. Wow, the huge pivot. Ramoa, Ramoa. This is this is where I'm at in my life for birthday and Christmas.

Now I get that upgrade to get them that luggage, dude. And why Ramoa and also what is that? I'm going to go take a poof. It's that hard. It's a metal case luggage. Have you seen it? It's great. Silver.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like metal. That's it. Awesome. I mean, not not like the I mean silver in color, not in like it's actual. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like a metal like traveling case to it. I'm going to look like I'm like I'm a like a roadie or something. Mm hmm.

Yeah. OK, that's it. Are you finished? I just I just transitioned into luggage talk. Actually, if we can go back to that, I just I just switched my head. It took a second. But did you say it's a metal luggage box? Is that what you said?

I can't be here for that. Did you say it's metal, Adam? I was thinking about rocks and now it's here. Shut up, bitch. Yeah, dude, we're still talking about this. Yes, I took my hood. It's where they're off. I brought it back.

Yeah, yeah, metal. Look it up. It's it's the shit, dude. Ramoa. OK, so it's it's a little pricey, but I think it's going to be worth it. Why is it the shit? The lifetime guarantee. That's pretty dope. That's huge. That's huge. What does that mean?

That's great. Your lifetime or the lifetime of the product? Yeah. Oh, I'm I'm assuming it's my lifetime. Is it? Yes, lifetime of the product. And then it's it's guaranteed. Yeah, lifetime guarantees are great. Dude, how do you know they don't have train killers that are like he's about he just asked for a new suitcase. We got to send somebody to kill him out.

He just got $5,000 for the suitcases. That's the show. Wipe him out. Send that plane into a tower. All right, because I got some. I got I got a couple zippers that have popped off. I might be in the market for some new luggage soon. Have you checked how many Ramoa bags were on the flight that ran into the tower? I didn't.

What if that was big Ramoa? What if that was big Ramoa? You might want to check that we're going to find out it wasn't bin Laden or the Taliban at all. It was big Ramoa allegedly. No, allegedly. By the way, there's no way to say that it wasn't exactly. Thank you.

There's literally there's no way to say. Thank you. Do your own research. Even if there weren't any Ramoa luggage on the on the planes. Allegedly. Why weren't they? Why weren't there? Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. That's interesting. That's interesting. Fucking things. You've got to have your take.

You've got to have your take. It's got to be new. All right. Big Samson night. It's all fucking. It's it's my bag, baby. I didn't really want new luggage until I got the Vax. Interesting. That's interesting.

That is now we're just going jokes from me. Get the Vax and suddenly I want to buy luggage Ramoa. No comment. Oh, man, it happens. Who cares? Man, yeah, I feel like a bowzer. I wonder, dude, after we talked, we did luggage talk last week. You know, I was talking Ramoa.

My Instagram, I got on it after we were done potting with so many luggage sponsored ads. Oh, you're thinking that. I mean, it aired that episode aired. No, it was just after we were done talking about it. Oh, we heard us talking. It was fucking insane. And normally I'm like because my sister explains

she works for Facebook and she's like, they say that they don't listen. It's because. Wait, yeah. And they're and it's true. And they, yeah, no, she says that they don't listen. But but the algorithm is so smart that if, for instance, I, a buddy of mine works for some clothing company that I've never heard of, a men's clothing company.

And I was at a bar and I was talking with him. And then about like, oh, where do you work? Oh, cool. You know, that's interesting. Right. Cut to the later that night. I'm on my phone and I'm getting sponsored ads for his company. And it's because our phones were in close proximity together for so long. He looks at it up a bunch on his phone. And so you guys are in proximity, so it leaped to your phone.

Yes. Wait, what? Really? Really? This shit is leaping? Yes. No way. Yeah, that's what it said. My phone was in close proximity. So that's why I'm getting all that weird porno. Yeah, that's why we got that's what you're explaining to to your girl. That's I don't know.

I must have been I was it must have been near someone that was looking at weird porno and it's on my phone. I was in the drive through a cane. I was at Canes in the drive through. That's why I'm getting all this debt. That's why I had porno stuff that's coming. I'm like, what is going on here? Well, I don't know if it's porno specific.

I know I was talking Facebook and they own Instagram. You don't think they own porno? How is it a leaping? The weird thing is, is I wasn't our phones weren't close to each other. We do this over zoom. I think they were listening. No, they're listening. It's not a leaping water.

That's what my sister says that they don't, that they do not listen. It's the algorithm knows your needs before you know the algorithm is listening. Sounds like they got to her. Yeah, for sure, because it certainly seems like they're listening. Yeah, but I guess I guess not. Did you go get an RC Cola or where'd you bounce to? Yeah, it was weird. Oh, dude, my computer was about to fucking die.

So I had to go get a very, very interesting. I had to go get a speaking of algorithms on YouTube. The other day, right under the video I was watching, it was like a click here ad kind of thing that just was a rainbow flag and said, are you gay? Yeah. And I was like, huh? I got it. I was like, why are they asking me?

And then I was like, I'm not. So I don't even need to click on it. If you click on it, you might be right because you want to know if you are. You're not. You don't trust me. But if you know that you're not, you're like, I'm not and you don't click. But I was like, what's what are the how? What is this?

Wait, there's are you gay? Can you frame? Yeah, yeah. Do your parents know your do your parents know? Is this you coming out? It's totally cool. That's totally cool. It's a old joke.

I don't understand. Yeah, I know that I know the rollerblading joke. Right. I broke my arm and I never took the pain pills when I needed them. I saved them for after I was healed so that I could get the full feeling of the pain pills because I just loved them. I dug the way it made you feel. You just started breaking your arms.

Kyle's just taking hammers to his shins. That's what I broke him a few times in high school and I saved him and I would always get reloaded and stuff like that. And then my girlfriend had back issues. So she had a whole bunch of like solar and coding and shit. And she would hook them up. You started kicking her in the back. You would specifically only date women who were previously injured and had pain pills.

Well, she hooked it up. Yeah. Kyle would cruise the nurses office being like, has anyone recently hurt themselves? You're looking real pretty today. You're beautiful. Let me carry you up those steps. Give those crutches a break. So the main headline is it made you feel Vibro.

Yeah, it made me feel Vibro. Like I really dug it. Yeah, yeah. And we are quoting you as saying it makes pain pills make me feel Vibro. Yeah. We got to get some merch, some like wraps, some like ace bandages to just say Vibro. I went on a fucking family cruise to Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta and Cabo and I bought fucking pain pills there too.

And I put them in my jacket. I got a big old bag. I got them for nothing. Put them in my jacket pocket. And as I was walking back on to the boat with my family, they were like, they patted down my pocket and I was like, oh, fuck. Your family did? No, the fucking the guys that were like making sure you didn't bring anything in.

Oh, cruise control. And they found this bag of pain pills. So what did they do? And they took it. They just took it. They took it from me and they took my name. And I did that shit on the slide. Like nobody in my family saw this happen.

And so I'm like, OK. Game point. Kyle, that episode did not get my pecker hard. I knew you were too vibro on that trip on that trip. Dude, son, I need to talk to you. I was bummed because I was like, I couldn't get vibro. And then I like at the end of the trip, we were all waiting to D board the ship or whatever it is.

And they call my name over the intercom. They're like, Kyle, new check, come to customs. Oh, did you win something? Oh, my God. And I was like and my whole family, my grandpa, my fucking they're like, what's going on? I'm like, mom, come with me. Because because I needed I knew I was about to get fucked.

And so I like I'm on the way over there. I talked to my mom. I was like, look, I smuggled some pain pills back in. I have some pills that I thought were going to get my pecker hard. But yeah, she say, sweetheart, I know at dinner last night, you were way too vibro. All right. No, she was cool, man. She honestly like vouched for me and got me off the hook.

And I just wasn't. What did she vouch for you, meaning like, oh, he needs pain kills? No, we came up because I was dating a girl that needed pain pills at the time. And so we came up with a plan that was like, look, I'm going to say that I got this from my girlfriend. And my mom actually might have not even known that I might have been lying to her and saying like, I got this from my girlfriend. Can you please help me?

I didn't know it was illegal. Kyle, I didn't like the podcast. Is it illegal? I think statute of limitations player. It's all good. Oh, gee. No, I mean, like, is it illegal to go and buy medication down there and come? People do it all the time.

I don't think it's illegal, but I think you have to have some kind of proof that you need this drug to come back into America. You were also 16. I was 17 at the time. Yeah, you were a kid. So that's another thing. Right, right. I was like, because the list was fucking extensive.

And if Chloe was like, you know, let's get out of here. What are we doing? It was like right when we first got to Mexico. Now we're just in this pharmacy instead of on a beach. And she's like, let's get out of here. And I'm like, hang on, I'm reading this, I'm reading this list. I was like, you can get true steroids. I was thinking maybe we all I bring them back.

And as like a, you know, kind of a fun thing that we do on the podcast, we all take steroids for a month and see who has the biggest arms and limits. No, we see who's got the smallest nuts. Yeah, who's nuts shrink the most? We'll all measure our nuts. And then at the end of one month of taking steroids, we measure our nuts and see who shrunk the most. We'll post and we'll have people vote on who has the smallest nuts.

What do you mean? You measure them. That's not like a vote. No, no, no, no, no, I do vote. I do vote. No, no, no, we measure and then we have people vote on like cuteness or like cuteness of the nuts. Right, there you go.

Or we have people guesstimate how many wrinkles we have combined in our scrote. Is that a real thing? Steroids shrink your balls. Is that real? Like a real thing? Well, that's is that real, bam? Get it? Is that real?

I don't know. I'm going off of like 80s, like saved by the bells, shit from AC Slater. Yeah, I'm so excited. Yeah, I don't know. Jesse and her diet pills. Spana. Damn legendary. Yeah, I bet I bet they have some good diet pills, too. Dang, I fucking blew it.

I should have been buying it up. Yeah, you could have had some shredders. But guys, I think we found a venue for the wedding. It's going to be, it's going to be kick butt. Do you want to announce it here and the date and everything? Yeah, address. Yeah, I'd like to tell everybody before I fully know. Yeah, before you've talked it over with your wife.

We made a full decision. Cool, baby. I already said it on the pod. We have to do it. We have to do it there. We have to. Yeah. Meundies is going to be pissed if...

Is the wedding going to be brought to you by meundies? Yeah, it's sponsored by our sponsors. It's manscaped. Bro. It's brought to you by Beast Mode. That's smart. And do you, Adam, take meundies? And now the ring presented by Tushy.

Because your ass needs to be washed. And now the ring brought to you by Ring. Weddings are too damn expensive for what they are. You know what I mean? Thank you, Kyle. Now, finally, we're getting into it. It's a machine. It's a whole industry now.

It is. And someone said it. Thank God for that. And the cakes? It is. It's expensive. Oh, the cakes. The cakes.

And you have to go to the certain people that work with the venue and they really just hold you over a barrel. Finally, someone taken the wedding industry to task. Thank you. And the dick pills you have to buy for your entire wedding party? All the dick pills you have to buy for the entire... I mean, it will be fun when I buy us all dick pills and make us take them one hour before the ceremony.

That'll be a ceremony. Be your own week. Dude, I'm down. That will be tight just to fucking... And we're all wearing like kilts, like those super white... Those white dude weddings are like, we're wearing kilts. Steve doesn't have anything on underneath. Fucking Steve.

That would be so funny if you like orchestrated the outfits that we had to wear so we couldn't protect our boners and then spiked our fucking... Spiked us with boner pills. See, now this is a wedding. And we're all standing up there like fucking... Uh... Protect your boners.

20 margaritas. Make sure you lick the salt. OK. You need us to lick the salt. And he made us wear these linen white pants. He made us wear these meandis. Yeah, it's a beach wedding. It makes sense.

He really wanted us in all linen. Everything. Bro, are you hard right now? I've been hard all weekend. Something has made my pecker hard. It's hurting. It won't go down. It hurts.

It hurts. I just want to be flaccid. The shrimp tacos must be an aphrodisiac because I want to fuck everything.