This Is Important - Ep 1: Shark Week to Disney Movies

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

Today, this is what’s important:Shark Week, Pinocchio, Papa Johns, Dumbo, Tattoos, Hot or Not, High School, Kids, Covid, Hard Nipple Balls, Boners, Bullies, Ejaculation, and more.  Learn more abou...t your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered
Starting point is 00:00:47 a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically,
Starting point is 00:01:42 crucially important. This week on This Is Important, Wooden Turtles? Are we all having the same idea? You also said that it lands in the back of your hair and tells you how to fuck, and you called it a rat tatooie. And I started screaming, and I'm naked just with just water in the bathtub, and my mom comes running in. They're drinking and like smoking, and they're seven years old. And here we go. What's the deal? Are you eating sushi off of people? Yes. You can't do that right now. They're sanitized. What is the fish? The fish are sanitized? The people you put the fish on and eat it off of. Welcome to the very first hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot podcast from the guys formally known as
Starting point is 00:02:30 the guys that created Workaholics. But now we're known as the This Is Important guys. I thought we were all going to say that. I thought we were going to say we're going to be podcast boys. Yeah, podcast derv. Well, we are podcast boys for sure, but I thought I'm podcast Kyle. The name of it, I'm podcast Adam. I thought the name of it is This Is Important because it is. Yeah, that's the name of it. And that's the first thing we'll talk about is how important the name is. How important it is for the four of us to have a podcast. And who's here? Just as, because I can't see you guys way over there. That's true. Hey, I'm a podcast Blake. How is everybody? I'm doing really good podcast, Blake. This is podcast Adam. All right. Doing pretty
Starting point is 00:03:10 good over here. Podcast Kyle. Hey, the podcast honors over here. Podcasters. Podcasters. And together we are podcasters. No, together we're This Is Important. Yeah, this is important. Oh, shit. And it is. I'm so sorry I should have read that. So Blake, Derz and I just recently did something pretty cool. Blake's wearing the hat. Shark Week, baby. I'm not an ad, but definitely tune in. It could be an ad if they want to, yeah, if they want to pay for it. Do you think Discovery General will drop some coin on us? I doubt it. It was pretty cool though. We got to go to the Bahamas. That was my first big outing since the Rona has struck. We got to go to the Bahamas, got fully tested before going out there. And so we all knew that everybody was Rona free.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Everyone had it. Everyone had it. You had to test positive. Heard immunity on the trail. But I caught myself just like touching people probably more than I normally would. What? Like crew guys, I was just like kind of... Oh, because of lack of human contact. Yeah, and I know that they don't have it, and you haven't touched another person in so goddamn long. Yeah, as soon as you get the green light, you're pansy. These guys did have a certain musculature that made you want to grab them. Oh my god. These professional shark divers, can we talk about how fucking hot they were?
Starting point is 00:04:32 Please do. I'm over here waiting. I wasn't there. I'm not going to stop you. Give me the description, guys. We're talking long lean. For real, there was this dude Andre that was, I mean, a local Bahaman gentleman. Bahaman? Bahamian? Bahamian? Bahamian. Bahamian. Bahamian. Ripped, dude. Just like, and he had like this wetsuit. Yeah. That fit him. Why was his wetsuit so much cooler? It was like, there was no branding, no nothing. It was like he made it.
Starting point is 00:05:05 I mean, yeah, it was very cool. He looked like Black Panther. He looked like he was trying to get cast in some shit. That's tight. And that dude is Andre. I follow him on Instagram because he was one sexy, smart, nice guy. And he would listen and give him a follow. But we got to do some truly gnarly shit. There was like a sunken ship, and then we dove right down to it, and then there was like 25 sharks. And they're swimming all around us. We got like hit in the head with a tiger shark fin,
Starting point is 00:05:32 which was a pretty gnarly. Durs got attacked. He's a shark attack survivor. Got attacked by a genuine tiger shark. That's all I'm going to say. You got to watch to see what happens. Yeah, I was going to say, it sounds like you're doing the audio version of what people should be watching after those errors. Yeah. Well, you know what? We're all about spoilers here at This Is Important. This is important to let you know what you're going to watch. Right. And it also, I think you've done enough in terms of peaking the interest of people.
Starting point is 00:05:56 Don't give it away. Make them watch the disco cheer. Yeah, there's some really crazy stuff we haven't even talked about. Right. Oh, wait, like what? Oh, the Chota for sure. What? Yeah, yeah. Just several species of sharks that you didn't even know existed. What? Oh, yeah, those alien sharks. That was crazy.
Starting point is 00:06:11 That was. What? The shark- Well, I don't want to, there was a sharknado. Oh, man. I don't want to give it away. There was. That was our reel. There was a sharknado where I was swimming past the shark, it turned around and he goes, mate, no.
Starting point is 00:06:26 Didn't like the way you were looking at him. Well, that sounds really cool. It's awesome that you guys all got to go. And I was here, you know, back in California, just in my garden. It's weird that they kept making a point that they were glad you weren't there. And I kept saying, that's not cool. But after like three or four days, I was like, I know. Yeah, you're like, this is kind of cool.
Starting point is 00:06:46 It does make sense. Yeah, well, I did some crazy stuff in my garden too. I put some fertilizer down and I went after some varmints that were getting after the tomatoes. Oh, yeah, I had this nightmare about gardening. The worms are the sharks of the garden. Absolutely, the worms and the rats and the birds. You got to pick your crop before the birds come.
Starting point is 00:07:07 I'll tell you that much. Otherwise, what, you sharing it with them? Do you believe in killing those rats? Or are you like removing them and putting them somewhere else? I'm a removing guy. By a catapult or what? No, I'll catch them in a cage and then pick them up and move them. Like where?
Starting point is 00:07:25 To another part of... Like you get in your car and taking places? Well, I got that big piece of land right next to me, so I just drop it over the fence and set them free. And they're back in 20 minutes? Yeah, but they're going to come right back to your house. You got to get in the car. Here's as close as I get.
Starting point is 00:07:37 I got some BB guns and I do take shots out. Okay. And the truth comes out. Okay. But I'm not really trying to hit them because that's nasty. I'm trying to just scare them out of there, you know what I mean? So you're wearing rat fur socks. I mean, you've changed, Kyle.
Starting point is 00:07:50 I remember the old days when we used to just murder rats left and right. Yeah, that's inside the house. I'm down with that, bro. They're not allowed inside the house in any way, shape or form, okay? I got my pets for that. You need just rat shape and form, right? Well, we used to, for some context, Kyle Blake and myself used to live together in the house that we shot,
Starting point is 00:08:12 workaholics, allegedly. Can we even say workaholics on the podcast? I think so. I don't think we're allowed. Allegedly, we got some big part of my life. If we can't, I'll take them to court. Allegedly. Allegedly, it was called workaholics.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Yeah, allegedly we had a show on for seven seasons on Comedy Central. All right, I'll go. Allegedly, it was a hit. Allegedly, we were all in it. We all were in it and created it together. Allegedly, best show on TV. If you guys are getting the vibe that we're very scared that anything we could say could be turned against us and that we can just be canceled for saying that we had a TV show.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Allegedly, we do feel that way. I don't want to get sued by Viacom. Allegedly. You might. Yeah. Allegedly, you might. Yeah. Well, we all lived in the house together and that's not allegedly.
Starting point is 00:08:56 I'm going, that's facts right there. We did all of it. And we had a serious, serious rap problem. Facts. Facts. I always forget the number. Do you guys remember the number that we called, like on the one day we called X amount? Because it's grown in my head.
Starting point is 00:09:16 I feel like it was legit 17. That seems right because I've been telling people like 32. No, I remember like there was this one crawl space in the hall that we could put a trap and it was like, I remember going outside and cracking a beer and then we were just here. And it's like, okay, there's one and then crack another beer. There's another one. And I can't remember if that was the same day or within the few days of the night that I've lost my mind and just wore my boxer shorts and killed multiple rats with Windex and Abram.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Well, that was when, I know you got one caught in the sink and it couldn't get out. It was scrambling and you grabbed the Windex and said, that was sad. That was sad. It was just like, I can't breathe. Oh, he's hitting me. No, the trick is, the trick is, and you know, allegedly I did this. Yeah, this is all legend. But when rats are in your house, I mean, they were all over.
Starting point is 00:10:06 I would come home. I'd be gone for a few weeks doing whatever and then come home to the house. And, you know, we're not going in each other's room. So that's like dead space in the house. And I'd come home and there'd be like, I don't know, 300 rat pellets on my bedspread. Just like, just fully with their pellets. That's a fucking weird ass thing. Pellets makes it sound like you laid out food.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Right. That's kind of what I thought. Well, I did. It was my room. He definitely left out tons of Jack links. Yeah, I definitely had bags and bags of Jack links. Shout out Jack links. Please sponsor us.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Yeah, you spilled monster. They were all trying. You're trying to create like ninja rats. Super rats. So much monster. Please sponsor. And so one night I like got fed up and just like sort of snapped and went into the kitchen to get some water late at night, like 2 a.m. or something.
Starting point is 00:10:55 And there was just like six rats in our kitchen. So I sat there all night with a broom and with some Windex and would spray him in the face. And then they go blind and then I beat them to death viciously. Allegedly, I did this viciously. Right. With the broom. Meanwhile, my room is closest to the kitchen. I was just trying to sleep, but I had to.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Hey, dude, I was saving your life. I believe it. Those rats are going to crawl right up in your grill. Just turn around and just drop a pellet. Pellet right on my lips. Yeah, just your guess. I just remember somebody telling a story about how they're like in their bed with their girlfriend at the time.
Starting point is 00:11:29 And the rats were like under their bed scratching around. And they were like, what was that noise? It was like, oh, no, that's just. That was me and my ex-girlfriend. And I remember I told her it was the pipes because you heard like on the hardwood floor, you heard like the rat like on the way in. And she was like, what's that? And I go, ah, it's an old house.
Starting point is 00:11:53 It's just old pipes. You just were like, rats, rats, rattling pipes, rats, rats. Dude, that was great. Dude, can you imagine, though, if it was a rat-a-toe who like jumped in your hair and like taught you how to fuck, right? There we go. I wish. There's the rat-a-toe too.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Hey guys, new movie idea. I just watched rat-a-toe for the first time very recently. What is a rat-a-toe? Well, it's a Pixar movie. It's a dish. I thought it was a food. It's a dish. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:12:24 But we're using that. I said it's a Pixar movie and you said right, but I thought it was a food. So you know it was both of those things. But you also said that it lands in the back of your hair and tells you how to fuck. And you called it a rat-a-toe. And I'm like, how does the dish land in the back of your hair and tell you how to fuck? Have you seen rat-a-toe? Oh my god, you've never seen rat-a-toe.
Starting point is 00:12:42 I do understand it's a movie. That's stars a mouse. Is the mouse named rat-a-toe? It's a rat. And the mouse. No, no, no, no, hold on. It's the mouse named, it's a rat named rat-a-toe. It's a rat.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Basically. Basically. I don't know if his name is rat-a-toe. No, that's fucking bullshit. Is it known as a rat-a-toe? No one knows. There's no way to find out. But what I'm saying is he gets in the dude's hair and controls him on how to like cook.
Starting point is 00:13:07 That's how he controls you, boss. So this was the question. Not the question is what is a rat-a-toe. The question was, what does rat-a-toe do? Well, I like what you're doing, which is playing the part of the stupid executive who's like, imagine I've never seen this movie. Well, I mean, to be perfectly honest, I did not, speaking of stupid executives, I didn't, I didn't know it was a, is it like a soup or something?
Starting point is 00:13:30 Is that right? Rat-a-toe is a dish. Yeah. It's like a stew. This is where I got confused. I think we had an argument. I don't know what the food actually is. I knew it was a food.
Starting point is 00:13:39 I definitely knew it was a movie. That's, that's where you're like, if you're the food, do you just go, this movie, it already like dwarfed our business? We got to change the name of the food. You might as well be stu lasagna or something. In my mind, when you said that, I imagined, imagine a jumbalaya jumping in the back of your hair and telling you how to fuck. And that didn't make sense to me.
Starting point is 00:13:59 That's a different movie. A good movie, but. Hey, new movie idea. Rat-a-toe is like a, a non-fancy stew type meal. And the whole movie is about being a fancy chef. And then he's like, no, we're going to make this non-fancy thing. And then the dude who's like, Mr. Fancy Critic comes in and is like, Rat-a-toe sips it and is like, holy shit.
Starting point is 00:14:19 This is exactly what I had as a broke ass kid growing up. It's the best thing I've ever had. That's a spoiler. That's a huge spoiler. That sounds beautiful. I feel like we spoiled that movie worse than Shark Week at this point. But you know what, Blake? It was important.
Starting point is 00:14:31 It was. And everything we speak about. Everything. Hey, if you haven't seen Rat-a-toe by now. Sorry. We were spoiling it. Thank you. Oh, you know what movie I watched last night?
Starting point is 00:14:43 No. What's up? What's up? I watched Allegedly. Allegedly I watched. A legend. Allegedly. starring Tom Cruise.
Starting point is 00:14:50 A great movie. I watched Pinocchio. Terrifying. Yeah, that's got a crazy part. Dude, the scariest movie. And I was high. I was super. I was like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:15:01 I'm gonna watch Pinocchio. And just, you know, eight, like six edibles. And like, smoked a joint to myself. And truly terrifying. Pig Island. I mean, it's. Yeah. It's been a minute.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Here's the story breakdown. And like, quick beats. Oh, it's been a minute. So you've never seen it. It was a 1940s movie. It's so old. Burial. And then, so, there's Giappetto.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Giappetto. He's super Italian. Kind of forgot how like, he is, even though his name's Giappetto. I think he's the basis of all Italian people from that movie. Yeah. All the stereotypes is Giappetto. Thanks, Disney.
Starting point is 00:15:37 And he's like really into, he's kind of a weirdo. He's like really into woodworking and just makes clocks. And whenever he's trying to party, he rocks all the clocks at lunch, which makes an insane, pretty annoying noise. And him and his cat dance. So he is carving this. That's how you meet the guy?
Starting point is 00:15:54 Yeah. And he's carving this Pinocchio. And he's like, I wish he was a real boy. And then he prays to like the star. This fairy comes down. It's like, it's a real boy. What do you wish upon a star? Yeah, but who's wishing upon a star?
Starting point is 00:16:05 Oh, Blake, you know. You said Giappetto. Okay. Was Jiminy Cricket? Yeah. Jiminy Cricket. He's like the host of the movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:11 He's the narrator. He's the conscience. Yes. Let him be your guide. Yeah. Get a little whistle. Is that that song? Exactly.
Starting point is 00:16:18 I remember. So anyway, so he becomes a real boy. The first thing Giappetto does, which is an insane move, is he goes, guess what? You got to go to school today. First day this kid's alive. Damn.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Doesn't even spend a day like going to have some fun, going to the water park or something. Giappetto's a working man. I guess. Yeah. He has to work. You know, he's got to earn his kids. But I mean, it was the middle of the night
Starting point is 00:16:37 that this kid came alive. You don't want him to kick with the kids. So anyways, he goes. Bad father. Go back. Hold on. Yeah, that is weird. He's like, my one wish is that you're a real boy.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Okay. Get the fuck out of my hair. Get the fuck out of here. Why don't you go to real school, my fucker? Yeah. So then he doesn't even walk him to school. He doesn't even walk the kid to school. This is a child.
Starting point is 00:16:55 This is a wooden child. First day alive. He's a real boy, you asshole. No, he's not real yet. He isn't real. You're right. That's the whole plot of the movie, right? He wants to be real.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Well, is that what it is? He's not actually real because he's still wooden? He's still wooden. So he sends him off to school. Then this gnarly fox comes and was like, oh shit, I'm going to sell this guy in his slavery, allegedly, does, sells him into this marionette, like puppeteer guy,
Starting point is 00:17:19 who's a psychopath, locks him in a cage, Jimny Cricket gets him, they sneak out, then they get spoilers. Then they get 1940s spoiler coming in hot. Welcome to This Is Disney Movies. I haven't seen it yet. On the way home, he gets kidnapped again and they go to some like island
Starting point is 00:17:38 where it's like just kids are like, just bad kids are there playing, much like a Ninja Turtle. That's basically shredders. They're drinking and like smoking. And they're like seven years old. Yeah, they're all like six, seven years old and they're just housing beers.
Starting point is 00:17:51 It is what Shredder's layer was, right? And the Ninja Turtles want it to be a real Ninja. Yeah, so it's kind of a reimagining of Pinocchio. Hey guys, movie idea, full baby turtles. Wooden turtles? Are we all having the same idea? So then after he gets out of that, he like goes and lives underwater for a while,
Starting point is 00:18:11 which is pretty weird. Maestro. And then he goes and goes back to Geppetto's house. It's covered in cobwebs. Geppetto's no longer living there. And then there's a handwritten note where it says, hey, Pinocchio, if you get back here, I'm stuck inside of a whale.
Starting point is 00:18:24 A whale has eaten me just to let you know where I'm at. How does that note get there? Pretty weird hole in the story. So then he goes and is like, I gotta find Geppetto. And then he's just back underwater with his water friends and they go inside of this whale and then they finally save him. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:18:39 When he turns into a donkey and those kids start turning into donkeys. Yeah. It is legit bizarre and scary. I'm sure a lot of younger people that weren't around, like we were youngsters that weren't around in the 1940s, like we were, who grew up on this seminal film of our childhood, are probably like, this is an insane movie.
Starting point is 00:19:01 And I'm telling you, smoke weed and watch it, it is a ride. I watched it on an airplane like five months ago, like on my iPad or whatever. And after the flight, this older gentleman comes up behind me pre-COVID. You're under arrest. He puts his hand on my shoulder and he goes, I just want to tell you, I'm so excited to see a young person
Starting point is 00:19:24 like you watching a classic movie like that. Oh my God. And I was like, get your hand off me, Rob. Thank you, patient zero. I know watching a movie like that, I was like, I wonder if like cancel culture is going to come for like Pinocchio. Because there's, you know. Well, didn't it come for Gone With The Wind?
Starting point is 00:19:41 Yeah, I don't know if I've ever seen. Yeah, but that's because Gone With The Wind is like fighting for slate. But then I know, but now it's back. They put it back and they just put a title at the beginning. They just add the context at the beginning. Which cancel it. Yeah, I'm all about that. That's what Disney Plus did too, I think.
Starting point is 00:19:56 All their old shit, they're putting titles. Yeah, but also what young kid who's impressionable is watching Gone With The Wind? No, totally. They're like, you know what? They just spent all afternoon watching TikTok and they're like, you know what I need? I need to be Gone With The Wind.
Starting point is 00:20:08 I've actually never seen Gone With The Wind. But allegedly it's about slaves. I don't know. It's my favorite movie. But yes, they put a title card at the beginning of a streaming thing. But if you catch that shit on AMC, Midway Through, then what? Right, then what?
Starting point is 00:20:23 Then your brain is turned into mush. I mean, maybe we just update these Disney movies. Pinocchio becomes Covedido. Oh, right then. Wow, that's important. I mean, that's a hit. That was important, Cavodillo. Yeah, do we end the podcast here?
Starting point is 00:20:39 Have we done our job? Covedido. I think I jumped out the window at this point. I liked it, though. Covedido, it's got a ring to it. Pacovedo. Pacovedo. Pacovedo.
Starting point is 00:20:50 All right. How about put another fucking idea out there? Oh, the classics. See, we're going to get so good at podcasting. It's the first one. That's the thing. We're not firing all cylinders quite yet. Podcasting, Neo?
Starting point is 00:21:06 They say it takes 30 to 40 podcasts to get good. They do, right? They take it, say, 40 to get good. Yeah, right? Isn't that the thing? Isn't that common knowledge? I bet you that's probably right. 40 apps to get good.
Starting point is 00:21:17 I mean, what is it, 10,000 hours? Well, that would be 14 hours long each. 10,000 podcasts. Yeah. And then we're going to be, yeah. But you're going to want to follow along for the ride. Hey, you're going to see every episode, we're going to get better and better.
Starting point is 00:21:33 We're going to get better at talking. We're going to talk real good. I'm not going to say Pacovedo anymore. No, no, you will. Keep saying it. Keep saying it. That's your thing now, Blake. We are going to develop certain things,
Starting point is 00:21:44 certain traits. First t-shirt. Yeah. Probably now. Yeah, I mean, it's double down, triple down, baby. Let's go. Blake, we're all going to have fun things that we lean into on the pod.
Starting point is 00:21:56 And yours is going to be saying, stupid shit that doesn't make sense. The thing you remember how to pronounce in 20 minutes. Bro, fuck you. Papa John's has a papadilla. I can say COVID-D, though. Excuse me? What is a papadillo?
Starting point is 00:22:12 It's like a folded up pizza. Don't you guys watch TV? After that delicious meal. OK, what are you saying? Because you're not canceled. You're just dumb. Right. But I'm saying dumb ideas aren't always bad ideas.
Starting point is 00:22:24 And what is the dumb idea that you're saying? I'm thinking of bad ideas. What's the Papa John idea? You've never heard of a papadilla? What is this? It's like a folded up pizza. I want one so bad. I want one so bad.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Delicious. I fell for it even though I don't like to support the company because the dude's a psychopath. But the papadilla spoke to me. That dude looks like fucking Pinocchio. Grew up and is like, I'm a real executive now. I'm going to eat 80 pizzas. He is fucking weird looking.
Starting point is 00:22:52 My buddy Zach, who's like, you guys all know him, who's super deep into pizza. I wish I was pizza as an Instagram handle. And he does wish he was pizza. Follows Papa John and he always sends me videos of Papa John saying the funniest shit. It's crazy. It's just, it's him going, Papa John.
Starting point is 00:23:09 And then he's like curling a, holding a pizza and curling a weight, I think. And he's like, Papa John or Papa Pump? Yeah, he's like riding a polar bear. Yeah, he's got that clock in his entry way that's like animals and it rotates. It's like needles striking. Yeah, and his description of it was completely wrong, I guess.
Starting point is 00:23:30 He says John Oliver, allegedly. Oh yeah. Get him, Johnny. He gets everybody, allegedly. Allegedly, John's going after all of them. No stone unturned. For this podcast, let's leave tons of stones unturned. Let's just kind of kick stones, walk over a lot of them.
Starting point is 00:23:49 I like that. I saw this video the other day. That's it. There we go. That is an unturned stone. Don't need to unturn that. Don't need to turn that stone. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:23:57 And see how it just made the podcast flow? Yeah, it wasn't good. This is our first. We got 40 more to go. It really is. We got 40 more before we're good, but it's still. No, 39. 39 and a half more and then we're going to be fire.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Are we already halfway done? I'm guessing so, yeah. Podcast time goes by fast. It really does. We're zipping. What else can we talk about? We're zipping. We're zapping.
Starting point is 00:24:23 I feel like Pinocchio was a really good subject. Yeah, that was a winner. What about Dumbo? You guys like Dumbo? That's a fucking cool movie. The mom beats the shit out of some kids, goes to jail, and then they're like, guess what? You're going to have to dress up like a clown
Starting point is 00:24:37 and jump out of buildings. Damn. I haven't watched Dumbo. That's based on a real story. Allegedly. I allegedly heard that all of Disney and Pixar and Marvel movies are based on real stories. Allegedly.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Like real humans? Yeah, like human stories. Allegedly. That is allegedly awesome. I really love that. Allegedly. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart.
Starting point is 00:25:06 I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion
Starting point is 00:25:30 when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it.
Starting point is 00:26:25 What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart Radio app,
Starting point is 00:26:54 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte abridged in story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me, because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions
Starting point is 00:27:38 of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte abridged in story with the creatives, the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, Thursdays on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. Here's a question.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Is it weird that all of our childhood man heroes have grown up to allegedly be pieces of shit? Every, I would say only a few haven't had some sort of weird scandal where, not even weird scandal, where they just are screaming the n-word or doing something absolutely nuts. That's a weird scandal. Yeah, not even a weird, that's not that weird.
Starting point is 00:28:26 It's just insane. Yeah, just proving to be pieces of shit. Yeah. You're like, damn, man, I thought my dad sucked, but you're way worse. Yeah, you were supposed to replace my shit dad. Yeah, that's why I killed you. And now your shit too.
Starting point is 00:28:39 It turns out my dad rocks. Yeah, dude. Arnold's really the only one. Well, he cheated on his wife with his maid and stuff. That's a little- And then he had the kid, but then he allegedly- He glazed over it and was like, it's great. I love him.
Starting point is 00:28:54 Well, he just started making so many Instagram videos with him and little ponies, miniature ponies that are in his kitchen, and you forgot all about the infidelity and the kid with the- Pony up. Arnold has an official Instagram? Yes. Are you out of your fucking mind?
Starting point is 00:29:09 I don't follow that. Oh, dude, he's got these ponies. Oh, nice knowing you. Where's his crypts like in the Palisades, and he's got ponies in the back. This is where the phrase pony up comes from. It's like, when you're in trouble, fucking pony up. He has what are they called?
Starting point is 00:29:21 Not miniature horses, but- I think they are miniature horses, right? No, but there's a dwarf. Dwarf horses. Is that okay? I'm offended. God, dude, I walked into that one. Dwarfism is a real design.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Touching the button. Cancelled. Yeah, that's- I think that's what they're called, though. Miniature was fine. There was no reason to stop the word miniature when describing before it's- Miniature?
Starting point is 00:29:43 Miniature. Miniature. But whatever. How are you not following him? I didn't. I would think that he does that. I don't know. And he runs his account, or does he have-
Starting point is 00:29:54 This is the thing. Does he have a team of people running? I think it's a little bit above. What is that matter if you're following him or not? Because otherwise, I just- We'll wait for his publicist to drop something. I want the inside story. That is always how he's done.
Starting point is 00:30:05 He's operated like that. He's like, wait for the publicist. Like he's always waiting for the publicist. Publicistist to do the publicity. Blake is known for waiting for the publicist to come out the woodwork. That's just my statistic. Arnold being a piece of shit is subjective.
Starting point is 00:30:21 That's kind of- I don't think he's a piece of shit. That's kind of- If you think fucking you're made and having a kid is a problem, then yeah, he's a piece of shit. Allegedly, some people feel that way. Some people don't. You know, I'm just-
Starting point is 00:30:33 I'm not gonna- And we don't know what their relationship was like. Maybe allegedly, there was tons of threesomes happening between the maid, the wife. Maybe the animals are in there, they're watching. I'm not sure. My opinion, my own opinion from the outside, I don't like that. I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:30:52 So he's kind of a piece of shit. And that's from the outside. That's me knowing what I know, not sitting him down and saying like, yo, were you cool with this? Like, did you guys have threesomes? Did you do this? There's a lot of nuance to this. You were not wrong.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Yes. So allegedly, he's still a hero of mine. That's good, you stuck with that. Kurt Russell. He's golden, right? Yeah, I think he's- He's the one who's still kind of like, hey man, he's clean, I'm here, I'm steady as can be.
Starting point is 00:31:21 I mean, if you're not against his lack of commitment, put a ring on it already. Did he marry Goldie Hawn? Did they not? Or like spirit? Come on, man. So you're a traditionalist, you believe in that? I am a Christian values.
Starting point is 00:31:36 You don't have sex till you're married. That is true. I forgot about the giant cross tattoo on your back. It's huge. It's huge. And it's getting bigger. I'm adding to it. Just tell him between your butt check
Starting point is 00:31:46 and then just wraps around above your dick. He's starting to go down my leg. Curls around your leg. Like if I were a serpent. It's pretty sick. I would love that if you- You're tattoo free though, right Blake? I am tattoo free.
Starting point is 00:31:57 And would you ever get tatted up? I think I would, but I do think it's a dangerous thing to start getting. Slippery slope, you mean? Slippery slope. Well, I think at our age now, we're in our mid-30s, we can get- Now is the time that if you really wanted a tattoo,
Starting point is 00:32:13 you could just get a tattoo. But also, that's the age my mom got hers and hers is like a weird son. I remember when your mom got the tattoo. That was tight. You liked it? Yeah, I thought it was cool. What is her tattoo?
Starting point is 00:32:26 Where is her tattoo? It's like a son with like a dove on her shoulder. Worth getting. Worth getting. It didn't her and your dad get at the same time? Yes, they did. Yeah, that's tight. That was love, man.
Starting point is 00:32:38 And you didn't want to get that on your chest? I mean, maybe I should get my mom's tattoo on me. Yes. Yeah, that's hard. That would be so tight. That's a beautiful thing. Yeah, I guess I'm waiting for the right moment. My mom passing away.
Starting point is 00:32:50 I've seen Blake shirtless many times and you have a nice, meaty chest. Thank you. You're welcome to tattoo. Your body would look good tattooed. I feel like skinnier people look better when they're tattooed because not better when they're tattooed, but tattoos look better on them
Starting point is 00:33:09 than like a person like me. Like I could get really fat. Like I could just like take a left and really just become and the skin's just drooping. And I've got like big old titties and now the tattoos are like underneath and you don't fully see the tattoos and it's all kind of folded up onto each other. That won't happen to you.
Starting point is 00:33:29 You don't like those like old bikers that just have like the under-titty tattoo? Stretchy tats. Or like the Vato dude who's lost 50 pounds? See, I don't think that looks that good. I'll say I don't think that looks that good. I think Blake's taut. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:33:44 Hot. Taut. God. Are you saying Blake's going to stay this taut his whole life? I think Blake is, he's never been a chubby person. He comes from thin stock. He's a thin man. True.
Starting point is 00:33:54 He's always been thin. I've never seen him get a little chubby. Okay, thank you. And just a little bit back in high school. Yeah, I had some pictures. Sophomore year was probably my awkward stage when I had a little lecture. That's your body was just gearing up for that growth spurt
Starting point is 00:34:11 that I know you hit. How well do you know the fuck? I know you hit it. This is when you find out that I've always wanted to fuck Blake. Yeah. I lost my spot. I lost my yearbook a few years ago. This is known in Hollywood, bro.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Well, you just analyze my body. That's okay. I'm down with that. That's all right. Well, I'm fine to do that right now. You analyze my bod. Rate my bod. Yeah, talk to him.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Talk to your boy. Do you remember that website, actually? Like Hot or Not? Hot or Not was the fucking funniest thing. Dude. I loved it. You had a pickup, right, Kyle? What do you mean I had a pickup?
Starting point is 00:34:49 You had a picture on Hot or Not? Oh, of course. Yeah, that's so tight. Yeah, I loved it. I lived by it. I would check it every fucking three hours and be like, dude, 7.8. Check it out.
Starting point is 00:34:57 In high school, we put a homey mind on there, and he was at like a 9% or something. We have to bring that back. Well, you guys know Hot or Not. It was like you put a picture of yourself and then the community of Hot or Not. This was like 2002, 2003, like early internet. It was like early internet.
Starting point is 00:35:14 You think anybody popped off that? You think anybody who was like the hottest person got a call from a manager and then was on like fucking? For sure. I bet you Hollywood was the last time. I mean, that's how Nick Lachey came to be. He got his 98 degree deal. Yeah, they're like they're putting it.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Lou Perelman was putting together 98 degrees. We need one more. We need one more. I would be willing to bet thousands of dollars that there's a Maxim Hot or Not issue. Best of Hot or Not. Wait, what are you willing to bet? I'm willing to bet thousands of dollars.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Thousands? The grousons. Put a number on it. Let's see. Maybe one of us wants to take this action. Yeah, let's do this. That there's a Hot or Not Maxim issue. So you're betting thousands that...
Starting point is 00:35:57 What are you doing? As your money manager. I feel like the two intersect so perfectly. Yeah, but you should have been the editor at Maxim. I don't think they were doing that. That's why nobody fucking reads that. All right, maybe not thousands, but they should have. Well, see, guys, you talked Blake off this bet
Starting point is 00:36:14 that I was about to take. You could have made money. I was about to make some calls. It's COVID times. I was ready to watch that money exchange. I was ready. I was in. I came in hot.
Starting point is 00:36:24 I was ready to put the money on the table. Yeah, I know you were. You talked me off the ledge. Dude, we used to make $10,000 bets all the time. Yeah, we each owe each other hundreds of thousands of dollars. We used to bet $10,000 on a game of fucking Wii bowling. Yeah, there's a lot of it down. But this was before we had $10,000.
Starting point is 00:36:41 So it was way easier to... Funny money. Yeah, it was funny, monopoly money. No, now you won't catch me. Not funny money, the opposite. That is non-existent. What was the website or the app that came out when we were on Workaholics?
Starting point is 00:36:55 The Ugly Meter app. Come on, let's not bring this one up, huh? I was listening to Howard Stern on the way in, and it was the funniest shit I'd ever heard because everyone was getting raided and just tearing each other apart. And I downloaded it, came into the office, and allegedly made everyone do it.
Starting point is 00:37:14 Which I guess you can't do, but I didn't make everyone do it, but I was like... Well, people were into it. But they should be fired. And we would shame you. You would be shamed and outcast. There would be a character named after you that we'd murder. I remember when you made me do it,
Starting point is 00:37:28 and I'm pretty positive that I got a 7% out of 100 or something like that. It was a real... Yeah, but you probably did something... No, I didn't. You let your eye go a little wonkier than... No, that's not gonna make it 7%. Because he came back and he was like,
Starting point is 00:37:39 let me get another one. It was one of those moments. And it was like 3% better or maybe even worse. Yeah, it was something that about my face did not agree with this app. And it hurt my ego. It's a symmetry thing. Well, when you're coming off of a...
Starting point is 00:37:52 Symmetry. What's wrong with my symmetry? When you're coming off an 8 on Hot or Not only to be knocked to a 7% on the ugly app, it's not adding up. I'm not saying I had a big ego. I'm just saying that it fucking stung. That was a solid 10, 12 years after Hot or Not dropped.
Starting point is 00:38:08 So the body and face does change. Kyle gets way uglier with age. Maybe you got way uglier in that talk. You probably had several strokes. You were a handsome high schooler. I was, I was. I was there for those of you. And let's post the pic right now.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Yeah, the bleach tip. Okay, did you guys see this at home? Are you looking at this? I think this is just audio. Is that what a podcast is? It was Homecoming Royalty. Could you be more specific, please? I was Homecoming Royalty,
Starting point is 00:38:37 but I lost to Paul Reif, the quarterback of the football team. So what does that make you? A loser. That's not hair. That's not hair. That's not royalty. No, royalty. I wasn't king.
Starting point is 00:38:50 I was royalty. I was pretty legit on that. I wasn't trying to puff myself up at all. I've seen Carrie before. I know that movie. Yeah. Oh man. He didn't win.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Pull back the pig's blood. He was the Carrie of our high school. What were you guys like in high school? Because we all didn't know each other in high school. We met right after high school when we were 18 years old. Wait. Kyle and I did go to high school uniquely enough. We've known each other since we were 10.
Starting point is 00:39:19 So it's like eight. Eight. Eight. How old were we? I didn't. Wait, I'm not a numbers guy. Wait, what? Numbers guy.
Starting point is 00:39:27 You guys knew each other since elementary school? Yes, that's right. Wow, you know someone for 20 years, you're still finding out new stuff. No, I knew that. So you guys were- Adam knew that. I did. I did know that.
Starting point is 00:39:40 I've been to your high school. You have? Uh-huh. Allegedly. Allegedly? Yeah, you don't know. How were you guys in high school? Please explain.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Kyle was super popular. I was pretty popular, I'd say. You were royalty. No, I was homecoming royalty in my senior year, so I definitely worked my way up the ranks. I'll tell you that much. I was the opposite. I was a homecoming royalty, freshman, sophomore,
Starting point is 00:40:03 and junior year. And then by senior year, they're like, we get it. You're done. I don't understand. What is that as a freshman? Every grade, at least this is how it worked in our high school, every grade elected however many, four or five people to be their royalty for their class.
Starting point is 00:40:18 Yes, but do you have a prom? No, and then you go to homecoming and you stand there like an asshole, and then they- It's just homecoming. That's what we're talking about here. Homecoming royalty. And I was it my senior year.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Okay, nice dude. And I do want to get into your guys' lives, but what's bigger, prom king or homecoming king? Prom king? I don't know. I don't remember prom king at all. I think homecoming king is at the beginning of the year in proms at the end.
Starting point is 00:40:43 You actually didn't have a senior prom. We had a senior ball. So that would have been called a ball king. I don't- Oh, the ball king. And I was the ball king of school. That's what they called me. There's your movie.
Starting point is 00:40:56 That's what they called me. That's what they called me at least. Because I would go run and get the balls that- So you guys- You guys had a freshman, sophomore, junior, senior, all different courts. Yeah, and then they give you like a- Like I won my sophomore year and it wasn't even-
Starting point is 00:41:13 Like I wasn't even a prince or anything. They gave me a sash. They gave me a sash that said attendant. Yeah. Bathroom attendant. You put your hand over it says attend. You're like, hey, I'm attending. Hey, it's just right here.
Starting point is 00:41:29 I guess I'm attending. Rochelle, you want to put those hands on buns? No. Remember how fun that was when you just go to the dance and just one girl was just whilin' out, just shaking the butt cheeks. Just a real good dancer. Yeah, that doesn't happen anymore.
Starting point is 00:41:43 When I went to dances, I pretty much just remember break dancing in the back. Yeah, I don't know. I have not. You were in that break dance circle that would break out? Absolutely, especially in middle school. I was like, yeah, whatever, let's go try and do some flares. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Can you imagine the smell of those dances now? Oh my god. Like when you're there and you're drunk and you're just like sweaty and all like your hair's wet and shit and you're just running around drinking punch. It was a lot of a- It's got a reek. Super sober for me.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Yeah, we did it wrong as well, I think. I think we were quite sober just dancing out our demons. Yeah, my senior year. No, no, Anders, wait, when did you start drinking for dances? How old were you when you started getting crunk before dances? 14. There we go.
Starting point is 00:42:26 My boy boy. For real? For sure. Oh my gosh, dude. There's party animal. I was like, junior, senior year, I used to let it slip a little, but not going in wasted because I was always so worried that I was going to have to talk to some teacher
Starting point is 00:42:39 and they're going to be like, wait a second. That's part of the whole game. See, I never, I was the same. Like I was like, nah, it's not worth it. You guys are oldest. So like you're the ones who are breaking the seal. I had older brothers who were like, here child. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Wait, you go to school sober, you dumbass. I used to smoke weed in school, allegedly. There we go. Yeah, I never would do that either. I was also very, very afraid. Yeah, that was a crazy thing I did. But it was, there was a dark room. I was a photographer, yearbook photographer.
Starting point is 00:43:13 And so it was an awesome game because you got to go in this room that no teacher could go in for like an hour a day and just be like, I'm developing field. Do not open the door. And then me and my buddy would smoke weed in there and then blow it through the vent that would go into the girl's bathroom. And we would stuff the laundry machine.
Starting point is 00:43:34 Oh, the floof. We'd floof with the toilet paper roll and then you put the dryer sheets in there and blow it through. And I remember one day the teacher's knocking on the door knocking on the door and we just finished and she comes about sitting in and she's like, oh my God, what does that smell?
Starting point is 00:43:47 Guys, do you have something to say to me? And we're like, yeah, I do. I think these girls in that bathroom have a real addiction to marijuana. And it's disgusting. I'm getting a contact tie in here. And she believed that shit. Trust worthy adults.
Starting point is 00:44:03 Hold one over on that nice person. Yeah, on that super nice woman who was just trying to do her job. You know, you think about it, but like half of them, half the time it just has to be that they don't want to deal with it. They know you're not like a total degenerate or you're not like hurting someone.
Starting point is 00:44:18 So they're just like, all right. Okay, yeah. Oh yeah, I'm sure it was the girls in the bathroom who were just- Dude, teachers are heroes. They really are, man. They should be paid so much more allegedly. That's you're not willing to stand on that plan.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Yeah, no, I think we could say that. They should. Is that okay? Yes, teachers need to be paid way more. Their jobs are insanely tough. Yeah, man. They're raising us and teaching us. I wouldn't be able to sit here and say,
Starting point is 00:44:48 put COVID though if it wasn't for you. You've earned that right. You've earned that right. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads.
Starting point is 00:45:12 On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation
Starting point is 00:45:37 of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception.
Starting point is 00:46:04 I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down and that's when I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home.
Starting point is 00:46:31 What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack
Starting point is 00:47:01 Queen Charlotte at Bridgerton's story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me, because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel. Listen to the leaps executive producer
Starting point is 00:47:19 and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast.
Starting point is 00:47:38 Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte at Bridgerton's story with the creatives, the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, Thursdays on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. How are your kids going to do with school? Blake has a daughter and Durs has two sons
Starting point is 00:48:06 that are going to school and that kind of thing. How is that going to be with this next school year where they're not going? Very serious, cool question. This is important. They're not going. There's no school yet. I have been wondering what grade do you think
Starting point is 00:48:22 would be the worst to have like be living COVID through? Like what grade? What age would suck the most? Yeah, because I feel like with any young kid, you can kind of still teach them somewhat, but imagine being a high schooler where you have to be your own teacher or whatever. That's like all the kids that didn't get to walk this year
Starting point is 00:48:42 or whatever, and it's like, that has to be so strange. But they're already done. Remember a thing called senioritis guys? You're already on the way out. You've probably, if you're going to go to college, you've already been looked at your college and all that stuff admitted. But if you were a junior, and let's say you were looking
Starting point is 00:48:58 at colleges, but you hadn't been accepted anywhere, now shit's just out the window. If you were like an athlete who's looking at scholarships, what the fuck does that look like now? If you were like going to go to a Yale for acting or something or NYU and like now that's not going to happen. What are you doing? You're totally on pause.
Starting point is 00:49:13 Or like you were set up to be the lead of the... The musical. Pinocchio? Yeah. Pinocchio. No, there's going to be a... Dope to you. Yeah, what's going to happen?
Starting point is 00:49:22 There's not even going to be any community theater for those guys. I know. I wonder if there's going to be a generation of kids that are just dumb as shit. You know what I mean? Like if they go like, if this thing lasts like two years and then they're just like, yeah, I never got around to math.
Starting point is 00:49:38 And you're like, okay. Yeah, they're all good though. By senior year, they're just like, you know what, we didn't... I never learned how to count really. So it just kind of spiraled from there. I guess like if I was in eighth grade and I was making the switch to freshman year, I'd be like kind of pumped that I get to wait another year.
Starting point is 00:49:58 You're a hell of a buff now showing up as a freshman. You get a chance to prepare like... This would be the buffest freshman. I wonder how many just yoke to ask freshmen dudes are going to roll in. Their eighth grade year was just kind of a wash and then come in freshman year. The puberty's hit because they had to hold a year.
Starting point is 00:50:16 They're so lucky. Yeah, they're so lucky. And they'll be primed by the way. Just use this time. Going into college, they'll be a year older. Their bodies will be so much more physically developed. God, I wish I would have started training one hours. Did you guys get those...
Starting point is 00:50:31 In eighth grade. Those nipple things when you were going through puberty? What's up? No, no, no, like your nipples hurt? Yeah, dude. No, I didn't. But I remember you all talking about that all the time. The hard balls and your nipples.
Starting point is 00:50:43 Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I haven't thought about them in years. Dude, I remember those so... That's why people would be like, oh, this one here, they would grab it and it would hurt. Yes, so bad. That's right. Yes.
Starting point is 00:50:53 Maybe I'm still waiting for my growth spurt because I've never heard of this. Really? You've never had that? No, I'm grabbing. You're nipples right now. I don't care. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:50:59 Right? Where I am. Tweezing our nipples. All of us are touching our nipples. And they're pretty soft at the end. Now imagine a marble in the tip and that's what it used to be. A marble in the tip.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Yeah. I specifically remember like... Also, have you guys ever put a marble in your tip? Never mind, go ahead. He also, Blake, you didn't get pit hair until you were like 30. I was a late bloomer, sure. I didn't get pit hair until college.
Starting point is 00:51:18 No way. Until like mid-college. Yeah. That's why you guys are so... But I got those nipples soft one here. I couldn't act it. Well, he's my son. I just remember grabbing either like Kyle
Starting point is 00:51:26 or my friend Teddy's nipples. And then flipping out like, dude, that hurt really bad. Dude, that hurt so bad. And it was like, whoa, I thought this was something we did, man. I loved how quiet you got when you're like, I just remember grabbing Kyle's or...
Starting point is 00:51:44 It was such a tiny marble. I was just gonna say, grab, you know, pinching, like, you know, it's like amongst friends. We pinch nipples. I just remember grabbing Kyle's. Allegedly. Did they see it that bad? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:51:55 Kyle, how did you feel when I did that? No, I haven't thought about it in forever and yet it hurts so fucking bad, man. What are those things? What was it called? What is that? That is a Google way. I think it's your body being like,
Starting point is 00:52:07 are these gonna be titties? And then your other part of your body is like, no, no, we're holding off. And it's like, wait, we were just trying to make titties. So that's like... That's a scientific... Like the testosterone, those are estrogen pods. So those could be estrogen pods.
Starting point is 00:52:17 I think that's one of these. And then the testosterone at that point is like, nah. Yeah, exactly. And so what the fuck? Right, it forms a marble. That could also be wild being correct. A milk marble. Yeah, well, this is...
Starting point is 00:52:28 No, no, no. Are you kidding? That's exactly what it is. Yeah, that's important. It is. That is important. What are those? What a bizarre time.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Do you remember how... Oh my God. Pinocchio is really a story of puberty when you think about it. I remember being so... My dick was hard all the time. Was? Yours wasn't?
Starting point is 00:52:49 Still is. No, mine... Mine is not. There's no was in that, man. No, mine is was. My dick does not work the same way. He's crying. I'll admit it.
Starting point is 00:52:59 It doesn't work. It used to be a problem. And now it's a problem. It's a problem. It's a problem. Oh, you're damned if you're hard. You're damned if you're not. Soft.
Starting point is 00:53:10 That's just it soft. It was definitely like... There was the moment where you're like, well, there goes sweatpants. Can't do that anymore. Yeah. Or if you got called up at the chalkboard when you have a boner and sweatpants
Starting point is 00:53:21 and you have to just tuck your butt back and do a little dance. Sure. Sure, I've had boners. Blake, have you had boners, Blake? I have, I have. In my freshman year of high school, I stood up and I had to tuck up.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Oh, yeah. And then one of my buddies called me out. I was like, you just had to tuck his dick up. And I snapped. I was like, I have a boner. What's it to you? We all got them. And I kind of went off.
Starting point is 00:53:49 And after that, it was a note for if you're in eighth grade, ninth grade, and you're getting a lot of boners, call your boners out. Get ahead of it. Well, this is eight miles. Get ahead of it because then as soon as I did that, all the kids were like, yeah, this guy's funny.
Starting point is 00:54:02 He's talking about boners. I'm like, so then I wouldn't shut up about my boner. Anytime I got a boner, it was an announcement that I'm making. So let me get this right. I'm stacking cans on top of it. You're going to recommend to children across America to talk about their boners. No, that's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Allegedly. Take my advice word for word, allegedly. If you have an erection. Good job. Or you have, let's say, your girl, and you've got giant nipples or something. You've got like really hard giant nipples. And it's just, it's poking out or your dick is always hard,
Starting point is 00:54:34 whatever it is, get in front of it. If you're like a fat kid, you have some fat jokes in the back pocket. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. You went too far. I'm going to stick with the nipples. If you're a fat kid with huge nipples and constant boners. I'm saying if you have a thing,
Starting point is 00:54:49 because I was a crippled kid in high school or in middle school, if you have a thing that is, that people are going to make fun of you about. Why don't we just stick to crippled kids calling it out? I think we're good. No, not just crippled kids, because crippled kids, kids with boners all the time. Kids with hard nipples constantly.
Starting point is 00:55:07 It's important that we as a people are able to talk about this stuff and not just make fun of each other for it. You know what I mean? Like what Adam did was defuse the situation. And it's like, why isn't that kid talking about boners at, you know, the dinner table with his family? So it's not a thing. It shouldn't be a thing.
Starting point is 00:55:23 Can we at least admit that the real hero here is the friend in the classroom who audibly said you just tucked your boner up to the rest of the class. Without him, we wouldn't learn a damn thing. Yeah. Well, for sure. I mean, you know, you need, you need bullies. You need someone else.
Starting point is 00:55:40 You won't know how to deal with that situation. There should be one bully per high school and you run for it just like you run for prom king. That would be all. People get devoted and you go, he gets the bully. He's the funniest bully. What he says is usually true that you are ugly. You are a nerd.
Starting point is 00:55:56 And he gets to ride on the back of everyone's wheelchair around the high school. They would. They'd always take my wheelchair and push that shit. And I'm like, this isn't your job, man. If you had an electric wheelchair at my high school, you were somebody's ride to class. That was just the deal you made with the environment.
Starting point is 00:56:14 I never got the, I think my parents didn't have enough money to just spring for the electric one. They were like, yeah, well, someone's pushing you. That's why you're so good at doing the balancing thing too though. I'm good on crutches. I'm good on, I'm good in a wheelchair. Yeah. Did you think that you weren't going to be able to have
Starting point is 00:56:29 boners after your accident? Or was this free boner? For those of you that don't know, I had like a bad accident when I was a kid. I was hit by a cement truck. I couldn't walk for almost two years. And I was mostly worried about my boner. And it was, I was worried about it,
Starting point is 00:56:44 but I was like too young to like really know. I was like going into sixth grade. So that's right. When boners are starting to peak your interest and you're like, what's going on down here? I do remember, this is a gnarly story, one of the first times I ejaculated. And I was taking a bath because I couldn't stand in a shower.
Starting point is 00:57:01 And my mom had to pick me up out of a wheelchair and place me in a bathtub. And I'm jerking off. I'm listening. I'm jerking off. Meanwhile, I jerked off like this. Jerked off like with- He's doing two fingers right now.
Starting point is 00:57:13 Dude, that was the move, by the way. And then you get to a full circle. Yeah, and then you go, okay, sorry. Then you go two hands. Never got there. Never got there. But I was jerking off in the bathtub. Two hands, wow.
Starting point is 00:57:24 Came in the bathtub. Good. You know? Good. Sure. Just sit in the middle. And then as soon as I came, I looked down and saw something floating in the bathtub.
Starting point is 00:57:33 And it was my toe. What the fuck? You got the counter. You jerked your toe off. My toe fell off. My baby toe on my left foot. You guys know how I have a little nub. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:46 My baby toe on my left foot was like charred. And they're like, this will probably just fall off at some point. And it fell off while I was in there. And I started screaming. And I'm naked just with jizz water in the bathtub. And my mom comes running in and she's like, oh my god, your toe.
Starting point is 00:58:01 And I'm like, get out of here. Get out. It is not safe for you. Wait, so when you jizz the water, are you kind of like scooching around to like dodge it? And like the ends of the flows of the water, it's like coming after you? And then like, yeah, it was like the first time.
Starting point is 00:58:16 So like, yeah, I'd done it multiple times before that. It just nothing came out. Yes. This is what we got to talk about is the pre able to come jerk off sessions. Where's just the air coming out? Yeah, what the fuck, man? That was weird.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Hey, so if any kids are listening to this and you guys are pre coming and you're not, there's no jizz coming out, get ahead of it. Scream that from the rafters at your local middle school. And if you're just turning in now, this is important. You know, it's very important. This is important. Do you guys have any take backs or apologies
Starting point is 00:58:45 that we want to get out of the way here? Because we've been talking about a lot of stuff. And I feel like we maybe stepped on a few toes. And I want to keep our friendship at a certain level with each other. Because I do, I love you guys. I do think you guys are idiots and assholes a lot of times. But I do really love you guys.
Starting point is 00:59:00 So any take backs or apologies? Maybe compliments? Or some compliments. Yeah, if you want to throw that out there. Take backs, apologies, compliments. Take backs, apologies, compliments. Well, I'd like to compliment you all for being open and sharing. That was really, really awesome.
Starting point is 00:59:13 And I'd like to take back the fact that I said that I think it will take 30 to 40 episodes for the show to be good. Now I think it's going to be closer to like 10 to 15. Wow. Yeah. Okay, that's a big upgrade. I would like to compliment on your optimism. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:59:29 But I would like to take back the fact that I was a little mean earlier to Kyle about his agriculture. I just think maybe I'm jealous because I can't do that. And I know that you can't see my face. I'm behind a mask being COVID safe right now. But I am serious. I appreciate that. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:59:50 And also, I'd like to apologize to you, Anders, for jumping down your throat about the ratatouille thing. Sure, of course. That was out of control. On my end, it was rage sneaking up. And I'm currently in therapy dealing with that. So I don't want to take it back. But I do want to apologize for it.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Okay, fair enough. That's what this is. A major clinic. It was. It was really, I got hot. Yeah. Well, watch ratatouille. It's very good.
Starting point is 01:00:18 I'd like to apologize, not to you guys. I was forthright with all my feelings to the three of you. Interesting. But to those elementary school kids and middle school kids that I was saying, hey, get out in front of it. I don't want to take that back. And I don't want to apologize for that. But I guess I want to reiterate it.
Starting point is 01:00:38 You want to compliment yourself. I would like to compliment my great advice. And start a foundation. And start a foundation called, and Derz can go in with this for me, one bully per school. Get in front of it. Get in front of it. I feel that.
Starting point is 01:00:54 That's beautiful. What a fun first podcast. And I just want to say I had a blast. And everything we said, this was important. Allegedly important. Very important. It was very important, a lot of stuff that we said. And the other podcasts you listen to,
Starting point is 01:01:09 and it might be about the news, and it might be dealing with political strife, and talking about how people went and marched. We didn't do any of that. I marched. I marched several times. Just want to get that out there. And I marched with my family.
Starting point is 01:01:26 Make sure that they understood what's happening out in the world. I'm having those tough conversations with my family. That's what I'm doing. But the show is important. So you're telling me you marched into your parents' house, and you said, I got a... I've been marching on the phone with my dad. I'm doing an individual family tree march.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Yeah, I've been marching. Been marching a lot on the phone with my father. Oh, boy. All right, guys. Good first podcast. Let's end on a high note. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart.
Starting point is 01:02:12 I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:02:39 Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal Podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see?
Starting point is 01:03:03 Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen.
Starting point is 01:03:26 I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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