This Is Important - Ep 109: Fossa Dick Energy

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

Today, this is what's important: The 90s, Linda Tripp, discipling your children, animal attack videos, animal dicks, hot air ballooning, The Rehearsal, and more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we talk about what's

obviously most critically, crucially important. Today on This Is Important, I'm looking at a goat stick right now, and it is small. Officer, if it was a fruit by the foot closer, I could have died. It was just too much of a fuckfest, and you know me. The Prude. And here we go. Three, two, one. You know, when we were doing the, we have to do a three, two, one, and then clap. We harmonize, and we harmonize with three, two, one. And that reminded me of that song. There we go. There we go. Isn't it there she goes? Yeah. Is it? I think it's she. Oh, I don't know. We're back. The Dumbest Podcast is here. And is that, that was your favorite decade that that song came out? Yeah. Sure. Sure. I think if not, it, was it not 2000? Your 2000? I have no

idea. What song even is that? It sounds like, is that like Evan Eston's? Who the fuck is that? No, it's a dude. That's definitely not Evan Eston. There she goes again. It feels like it's the same guys who sing like Stacy's mom is got it. No, it's definitely not. Oh, the Spounds of Wayne. Six, six pence, six pence, none the richer. Goodbye. Six pence, none the richer. Wow, of course. Nice. Oh, it's like a, it's a remix, or not a remix, but it's a cover of probably like an old 60s song. Yeah, I don't, maybe. How like when the Lemonheads did whatever the fuck that. We're starting off hot and I'm loving it. I don't want to wait. Is that Lemonheads? That's Lemonheads. That's the fucking Dawson's Creek. That's the woman who does the dog commercials

when they're like. That's like, was it? No, that's Sophie B Hawkins, right? Natalie Merchant. Sophie B Hawkins. No, Sophie B Hawkins does, she's good. She's got one hit. That really was Sophie B Hawkins. Didn't she do like the Dawson's Creek shit? I thought she did. She did. Oh fuck. I don't know what the Dawson's Creek, what was the Dawson's Creek? Paula Cole. Paula Cole. Paula Cole. And she also, wasn't she the one who was like kind of exposed Monica Lewinsky, like had the tapes? What? Hey, how's your guys weak? How's your guys weak? Hey, dude, we're shooting, we're fucking on fire. Dude. We're coming on fire. Wait, no, no, no, wait, who, who did you think Paula Cole is? She had the tapes for Monica. What does that even mean?

Are you talking about winning? Paula. No, no, no. Paula Cole, the singer, had the tapes. Oh, no, no. He's thinking about the woman. What is her name? Linda Tripp. Linda Tripp. Sorry, I don't know why I thought her name was Paula. Can we just talk about how fried our brains are? Well, also a different last name. Different everything. Different everything. Not music, not the name. The 90s. Dude, if you guys want to, we can try to figure out how I got there, but I think it might take a while. Yeah. I think it might take a while. Do you guys remember that show? I love the 80s. Do you remember when I love the 80s came out? On VH1? Hey today. Yeah, it was like a VH1 week long. Every like, every year was a night or something like that. I would

love to get Blake on I Love the 90s for him to be like, and then of course the Clinton scandal with Paula Cole. Just misinformation. It was all like stand-ups, regurgitating like facts about the 90s and then stand up it. Oh, that was my first ever bit in 2004 or five or something. Is your first gig? I did my first ever gig. It wasn't I love the 80s, but it was one of those 50 cutest childhood stars all grown up. Those shows killed it. Whoever was producing those for sure has some horses. Yeah, they made a co-billion dollars because I think I made $200 and was so stoked. But then it ran. It ran for like eight years or something. Like we were doing workaholics when it was still on E like late at night. People still knew you for that. And people were like, oh, shit. When you

acted like Macaulay Culkin and went, dude, Mike McCoy's on another show with a different name. Damn, man. Yeah, that's crazy. What was the big one on VH1 though? That's crazy. Oh, no, man. It's been a long, it was a long day for me, man. What was the VH1 show that was like the biggest one on VH1? Like change the two Hollywood story or behind the music pop up video. Yes, pop up video, dude. I feel like behind the music had a good room. Behind the music was actually good. But pop up video was off the chain was fucking great. Pop up video was like kind of like similar to similar to what those shows were where it was like just some joke writers just or they were spitting facts. No, that was all facts. Yes. So what pop up video was for anybody was like Rick

Astley was blah, blah, blah on your own. Yeah, they would play like VH1 style. Yeah, there's some young people that have truly never seen a music video. They are currently listening right now and saying, oh, what did you think about that podcast? Their friend is asking them and they say, hey, today, hey, let's go to Chick-fil-A. They came out talking about Pollacle, Blake's dumb ass fucking with Ada fucking Planet Mars. And then they start talking about VH1, which isn't a channel at all. Pollacle and you were thinking of Linda Tripp couldn't be more different person. I don't know how I got there. I can tell you how you got there. Dude, it's the 90s and you were six. That's true. I mean, you were just a little kid. You had no idea you were eight, nine, 10 years old.

And I'm just you don't know who the fuck Linda Tripp is. I still don't. What did she do? She found like the jizz dress. What is the story? I just remember John Goodman played her on SNL is all I remember. Yes. I definitely remember that. He did a great job at it. But basically, I think I find it offensive. Go ahead. I don't know who she was. Okay. Okay. I don't know who she was in the administration or what she was go off queen in Monica Lewinsky's life. But I think Monica called her and was like telling her not knowing that she was recording what she was saying. And she was like prying like so what was and they used it as evidence. Is this a quote from something? Wait, play the trip is a man, baby. Didn't they do that? They're like a man, baby.

That's like my reference. She should sue. I don't know. I don't. I don't know that. But the fact that Blake just pulled this fact from his knowledge makes me question the whole the whole thing. I feel like you must have gotten four things in that little explanation wrong. This is what I think I'm pulling from the John Goodman Linda trip SNL sketch. And it was always about him like like having like feedback like like recording her while he's talking like, Oh, God, what else happened? But like that's he made his voice deeper to play her. Wow. Very shaggy. What is Linda trip look like? She's cool. You're going to like what she sees. She's got a vibe. I don't even know if she was in the administration. I don't know that she was

either. I think she might have been. No, that's clear. That's clear. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, let me know. I love it. Oh, God. I mean, guys, what? She's got a bod. She has a cool haircut. Don't you have bangs? She's definitely got bangs. She bangs. Great Ricky Martin song. She looks like like one of your friends moms who you were always a little scared of. That's what she looks like. Right. Yes. You know what I mean? Like she doesn't look she doesn't have a welcoming face. She looks like she could turn on a dime. Like when she got mad, she got really fucking mad. She made bad snacks. Well, it would be like too heavy with something. It'd be like here, it's covered in mayonnaise or something. You're like, there's too much. Right. Yes. Too much

mayonnaise. Yes. A little mayonnaise would have been fine. I'm okay. Mrs. Tripp. Thanks, Mrs. Tripp. Did you ever have the friends whose parents would get like too angry in front of company? Like where they would like snap on their kids in front of you? Yeah, I've seen horrible shit. I'm not going to name names. I've seen horrible shit. Don't name names, but at least give us their home phone numbers so we could call them. But like, remember, you'd be like, you'd be like playing Nintendo and then like, and then like from the other room it'd be like Brian. God dammit. It would always be all three names. All three names. Brian Evan Johnson. Brian Austin Green. Brian Austin Green. God dammit, Brian Austin Green. Linda Evan Tripp.

Evan. What the fuck are you? Name is Evan. No. Anyways. Oh my God. All you had to do is name somebody with three names. That's it. Any other name, but Evan. And I said Evan. John C. Riley. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Evan. No, like the tide, Evan Flo. Yeah. What's Evan and Flo? Not Evan. Well, we named our daughter after the Evan Flo. And we came up with Evan. No doubt. We're really outdoors. We're outdoorsy folks. Durs, but what did you see or hear? Yeah, what did you see and what were their names in the address? In their address. I saw A, like just kids getting their asses kicked. Not like punched, but just like handled. And then like language that you're like, whoa. You little cocks.

That's how you talk to your kid. Yeah. And they'd be like, you have to go home. And you're like, yeah, dude, that was when shit got real was when the parents were like, you have to go home. Blake, you have to go home. Oh, my parents would kick my friends out all the time. Really? They'd come home and be like, I noticed the dishwasher's unloaded. John, you're leaving. Go home. What? That's a boss move. My mom would never do that constantly. Would never kick your friend out? No, be like, Kyle, you have to leave. No, no, it'd be like she'd deal with it after. Yeah, I feel like my mom also, I think our moms are very similar. But I don't think our moms ever got that man. My mom would just be like, yeah, fuck it. Yeah, mine too. I don't ever remember my mom. Our moms are very

similar. They're very sweet to like a fault. Yeah, ever getting that mad. And then the couple times she would, and I think I might have talked about this before, but what's new? But I remember my dad, she would like make sure like she wasn't a good disciplinarian. So then she'd have my dad try to discipline me when he would come home. Yeah. And you could tell he didn't want to do it. And it was like, what's it called when both your parents are disciplinary? Is there a name for that? Fuckin. I remember my dad would change his voice. He would have his normal voice in the way he talks. And then it'd be like, you would hear him, I'm listening at the top of the stairs and you hear my mom having this conversation. And then he would like drop his voice and go, Adam, get down here.

And I'm like, this is fake. You're faking this. Are you doing the wizard of Oz? You're doing like a fake voice right now to scare me. It's not working. Are you standing behind this curtain, like making the wheels like this and doing the switch up and down? That's just snapping into the dad voice. How come dads get all the stuff? Dad strength, the dad voice, like they got every, what's the mom thing? Because they have nothing else. Mom gets mom strength. Moms are moms. Because the kids actually love their moms. Yeah. And the dads are just the guy that lives there with mom. Everything in society has been created out of the men's insecurity of not being loved by their children. It's like, bro, that's true. All right, well, moms have the baby,

the baby feeds off of them, the baby goes to them, the kids love them, she's soft. And the dads just stand there. Dads are like, why the fuck am I doing here? You're just there to like live shit every once in a while and like reach, reach some shit. I'm going to go create something called the stock market and fuck around with my homies all day. And you'll love me then. You'll love me then. Right. Watch how much I can lift. That's something. Yeah. It's called the Olympics. There's all sorts of naked guys running around and someday there's going to be, you can ski and shoot a gun and that's a thing. Fine. Women can do it now too. Fine. God damn it. We had this one thing. I got one announcement guys. Chicks are here now. Yeah. But wait, I thought they were like,

you know, they had baby. Nope. Nope. No, but get it's going to be softball. It's not going to be baseball. I'll give you that much. They're not playing with us. Wait, don't they understand we're super sad and created all this stuff because what the fuck else are we going to do? I don't know if they know or care, but they're into it and it's called softball. Look out. So yeah, this is inspiring me. I'm excited to have kids. So it's fun. Yeah, man. Oh man. So your parents were all soft. My parents were pretty strict and pretty hard, but I know the moments when my kids are acting up. I get the spider sense where I'm like, this is where I would spank them. This is the moment. This is it. Wow, dude. In my mind, I just go, well, you got to hit them now.

And I don't. But there's like a ghost vision that happens where I go. You would have done that. They're like, oh, dad's going to go hit them. You just catch yourself taking your belt off and you're like, no. I look down and go, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You're just holding a belt. I do this. When the moment passes, I just go like this. And they know. They know. I just went to a place where I'm like, this is when I would light a match off your face. That's scary. I throw a lit match at you. Do you have like a voice that you snap in? Because I think I'll have the same effect on my kids that my dad had on me where I was never that scared of him. Like if he couldn't do a voice

and scare me, one of my dad would get really, really quiet. That's when I was scared of my dad. Right. This is important. Now, listen up because this is important. This is important. That shit's important. Yeah, I got I have a voice when like there's danger, right? Like if they're swinging around something super sharp, I hit him with the fucking full-throated. Hey, cut it out. Like stop. Sure. But when I'm like pissed or disappointed, I bring it. I bring it down. And I'm just like, yeah, that's the one that cuts deep. What are you doing? That's the psychological warfare. What are you doing? You know, and I make them kind of stop and think about what's happening while pulling out toenails. Thank you. Hey, what are you doing?

Crunch. That's what I really wanted to get to. I mean, you just got to think about who you want to be when you grow up. Crunch. I guess it depends. Like I feel like we have good kids, so they have like good, like, you know, they feel bad when they do bad things. But if we had like bad kids, oh, what? Then you got to reach down into some shit, man. Well, your kids are probably bad because you made them that, right? Yeah. Yeah. Nature versus nurture. For the most part. Oh, we're back. We're back. Trunks make me cool. Also, like you never know, like if they go to school and there's like this kid who is constantly wanting to cut up little animals. Yeah. But he's your friend's, he's your kid's best friend. And he's funny slamming beer. He's always like just pounding

mountain do's. And you're like, this kid seems fun. Hey, you want to drink some brewski's? Yeah. Let's just bleed out this squirrel real quick. Oh my god. Let's see what. Dumber. Hey, did it. Let's see what happens when we cut the cat's tail off. You're like, oh, I don't think that's a good idea. Did you guys ever have any friends like that? That was into shit like that. I was thinking about this recently. So we watched Dumber. Yeah, I grew up with a bunch of pussies who couldn't hang with that. None of my friends could fucking hang. No, I mean, I never had a friend that was into like torturing small animals. But I feel like a lot of my friends were shooting birds with BB guns and shit. Like we always, we carried, we were a little, we had a little fucking military

on our street, a little militia. We always were packed. Friendship. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your

reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down and that's when I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house.

He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team. To experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel, listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics.

On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the creatives, the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte the official podcast Thursdays on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. I carried a BB gun pistol in my waistband and walked around a lot of times with a pellet gun with a scope on it and just walked around my neighborhood with it. And everybody was cool with that. Yeah, everybody was fucking fine. That's the 90s, man. It was all good.

The 90s, man. Yeah. And they were, it was before they made them look fake. Yeah. But they didn't have the orange dot. Yeah. Right. They were fully black, not even an orange. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The real are looking the better. Yeah. You were like, yes. I remember you just scrape it off if it had it. Yes. I remember sharpening specifically sharpening it away as a kid. Sharpening knives. Yeah. Writing a kill list for sure. Writing a kill list. Yeah. But I don't think any of us were into, in fact, a couple of times we actually did shoot something. It was like, it was a real bummer. Yeah. Then we were like, oh fuck. It would haunt you. Yeah. Yeah. We're like, oh no. I remember somebody through, I was, I like, we were playing basketball across the street from my house and

on like a, at a school on court and like squirrels kept running. They would like dart through the court and we would stop the game and just like throw the basketball at the squirrel as like part of the game. Yeah. Okay. And then somebody showed up and they had a basketball like waiting for like the next game and then they like threw a basketball at me because I threw a basketball at the squirrel and they're like, don't fucking do that. And I was like, oh, all right. Street justice. You're like, all right. These guys like love squirrels. Just like he was saying to me like, hey, you're fucking throwing a basketball at squirrels. What do you do? Why? Was that the same kid that was at the house where the parents were like angry? Was he like, stop picking on

little guy because he saw himself? No, pretty normal kid. Probably actually really good parents. Well, yeah, really good parents taught him not to throw basketball. He's on a podcast right now. I'd be like, yes, the craziest kid in my neighborhood used to throw basketballs at squirrels. Dude, I, I mean, I had like a war with the squirrels in my neighborhood. I'm still convinced. Thank you. I am fully involved. Fuck them. They're rodents. We would have been on the same team because absolutely fucked the squirrels. Hey, forget that guy. Come with me. I know you like basketball. I love this shoots little tiny basketball. Trust me. It's a little metal basketball. Yeah. So it's just like what you do throw it by pulling this trigger right in the brain. No,

I remember one time specifically, I might have told this story, but I threw a walmart and it hit a squirrel and it was like, thank you. It hit the squirrel. It like pegged him and the squirrel was like climbing up a tree away from me. I throw it at it, it hits, it turns, it looks at me and it climbs down the tree and runs after me. And it chases me for well over a block. Girls are brave. Yeah. It's fucking like was trying to murder me, dude. Right. Chase me down an alleyway. I had to hop two fences in order to get back to safety, which was my parents backyard. Dude, that's like that. Fuck. And did you ever see that video of that guy who like encountered like a mountain lion and it just bobcat? It just kept walking like your whole thing is never turn your back on.

Is this a new video? Were the guys shoots at it? It's a few years old, I think. No, he was, he had no weapons. No. And he was walking backwards the whole time. He's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because the whole thing is like never turn your back on a wild cat. Yeah. On big cats. Right. Right. Yeah. But like that mountain lion just kept following him for so long, dude. So long. Like kept walking. Like, I don't know. You said a squirrel got two blocks. You know what you do? You stick your arm all the way down its throat. Yes. And you grab on the uvula. Who taught you that? Smart. That's what you do. Who taught you that? Very shagged in it.

It truly chased me for like a block of ass. So I get I get Derzborn and throw this fucking basketball at this. Thank you. Did you see the Bay? I know you saw it because Blake sent in our group chat the bear that attacked the mountain climber. Dude, insane. That shit was so Narnar bear. Yeah, it was like GoPro footage or something, but it was like it's kind of looked like a smaller bear, but still could fuck you up. Dude, a small bear, but like 230 pounds maybe. Right with bear. Yeah, you know, like a big ass. That's like a if a 230 pound man, that's a big man muscle is swinging on you. Yeah, you're fucked. Who's on like a fish only diet? Who's on a fish only diet? Who has like crazy long claws?

Yeah. Has five knives in each hand. It's like basically all muscle and he's starving. He's well rested. He hibernates and saves strength just to attack a new shit like this. Yeah. Yeah. A man like that. Yeah. He's unmanicured, like a lot of hair, like a lot of hair. And if this man is able to sort of sprint up and down mountain sides while you're here, as just a man who is able to do that, hanging onto the side, you'd be fucked dude. You would, but this guy wasn't. He survived the attack. He like kicked it in the fucking head and shit. Right. Well, didn't. Yeah. I couldn't tell. I thought he just kind of was like, get out of here. Get out of here. No, it's like I had to do in Vancouver. He did, you know, and then it like shoots off the hill and

he like, it comes back up and he kicks it. Oh no, he didn't shoot off the hill. He kicked it off the hill. Well, no, it starts. No, it's no, no, no, no, it overshoots him and falls down. It overshoots him. Oh, he like kind of moves out of the way and it like, you see his mouth like pass his mouth along and by just fruit fruit by the foot and he folds down. That's some, that's Adam's unit of measurement. Officer, if it was a fruit by the foot closer, I could have died. I swear to God, he was about three fruit by the foot away. Okay. All right. And two gushers. He was five sharp bites. He's five sharp bites away from me. I almost had five sharp bites in me, but he was a fruit by the foot away. And if he had gotten me out in gushing or gushing

in blood, I definitely would have been gushed. Yeah. Some teddy bears. Oh, Teddy Grahams. Teddy Grahams. Thank you. So he, he starts to run back up the mountain and then he punches them at first, which was the bad plan. Yeah. Because he hits it once and then swings again and just hits the rock twice with his hand. I'm like, probably that's probably the worst injury this fucking guy got. Yeah. Just breaking his hand on the side of the cliff. No. And then it comes up two more times and he kicks him in the head. And then he gets to safety. Yeah. And then he's like, oh, after it overshoots, you're saying he punches down twice. Yes. And then it starts to get good to him. And he's like, oh, yeah, no, he's in, he's past that octave and into survival octave where he's just

like, dude, that would be me. It wasn't like, it didn't even, I mean, maybe I'm wrong upon the rewatch, but from what I can remember, it was, it didn't even sound like a human. It didn't sound like, like, oh, no. Yeah. It was like animal mode. Yeah. You're like, yeah, dude. The last thing you're thinking is like, oh, I'm going to sound really dumb on this GoPro footage is unusable. Yeah, you got to do cool. So you're like, not today, bitch. Yeah. Not today. Homey don't play this. Fuck it. Suck this. And you've never said those things in your life. Yeah. No, that's actually worse. They're like, did you see the video? And then Adam's like, like, what are you doing? He went all in living color 1990s slogan. What are you doing? It ain't

like that. What are you even doing? He kept saying 300,000. He just went no limit soldier. Make him say sorry, dude, when a bear attacks, you never know. You never know. I mean, that is a really good point. If you are getting attacked by an animal and you are currently GoProing, you have to do cool stuff. Yeah. At least try to sound cool. So even if you die, at least the footage will live on forever. Right. You'll go viral. You'll go viral. Finally. You want this dick? You want this dick bear? So everyone's like, we don't know what happened before this footage started filming. It goes to scratch you and you're like, oh, it just got the tip of my 12 inch dick. Oh, shoot. Oh, shoot. Oh, God. Yeah. It clocks your ankle in your shin area.

And you're like, oh, the base of my dick. Oh, my dick. Do you think right where my dick ends? Do you think you can make a bear laugh? Like how in King Kong, she starts juggling and falling or whatever. And then King Kong starts laughing. Do you think you can start being like doing like physical stuff? And the bear's like, yeah, you're like eating little bugs off yourself or something. Right, right. You start like shaking your nipples and the bear's like, okay, well, what's going on here? I would try that at the zoo before you try that in the wild during an attack. And that's, hey, that's the difference between us. It doesn't end at the penis. You could start at the bear's penis. What's a bear's dick look like? Great question. I feel like a spike. Isn't there a museum of

dicks in Hollywood or something? Where they have like all the dicks in a jar? Hollywood. I think that's something only you were invited to. Hey, Holly, weird. Am I right? You guys didn't get that invite? Butthole, land of fruits and nuts, like my dad and uncle said when I moved there. Maybe at Ripley's, believe it or not. I don't know. A museum of dicks. No, there's a place where they have all the penises of every like animal. What? And they're in jars. That's Michael Douglas's house. Oh, back at him. I don't even remember what we talked about last week. Wow, dude. No, I take it back. I'm looking at bear's penises right now. Yeah, they're weird. Not that, not that cool. Yeah, they're like coiled or something. No. Is there another animal that has a better dick than humans?

Yes. Yeah, I think the animals, as far as dicks go, they, we've got, well, horses have fucking the coolest cocks. Those things are so cool. Do they? I don't know. I don't like how they kind of have their own like mind. Like they really swag. Yeah, they do. You are kind of right. They're like, it's sort of like a tongue. It's almost like their dicks are sort of like tongues. Like a tentacle. Bro, horses can't, a horses can't fuck, bro. Yeah, yeah. All mammals can. They got big ass dicks. And they, no, man, but they got, they got the length and they got the motion of the ocean. Like their dick can like, got a mind of its own, dude. No, I see what you're saying. I mean, it's cool, but it is weird. It's cool and weird. I agree with both of them. It's just,

it's like a ant either. Like it sniffs or I think it's got its own kind of life. I'll take that. Well, see what's wrong with bear dicks, because I'm currently looking at bear dicks. Yeah, what are they? They don't, they're not proportionate. At least horses, horses, dicks are almost too big. Huge. Right. They're almost too big. Right. Bear's penises. It looks like buddy, you're 800 pounds and you're packing that. Like that's not. Yeah, but you know what, wait, what does it look like? It has to be as long as the bear's vagina is for reproduction, right? Like so maybe a bear vagina is very small. True. Oh, bears have the most shallow vaginas of any animal in the animal kingdom. Is that what you're saying? You're blaming the female

bear for the male. Bear fucker. For the bear's dick size. Favorite moment in whatever the what's that movie? Super Trubers. Bear fucker. He's like fucking the bear. Do you know, just off hand, do you know the animal? Do you know the animal that has the biggest dick proportionately to their body? Because a horse has a pretty big. I know who's the biggest nuts. I think it's a rat or it's a rat, right? Proportionate to their body. Would it have to be like an elephant? Does an elephant have like an extra trunk? No, I thought it's a rat. No. A rat. The size of rat's nuts. Do we need to repeat the question? I mean, I guess so. Relative to its size, he's saying. Yes, like the size of the animal, but like the dick is so much. Yeah,

rat's penis is bigger than an elephant. It's crazy. No, but I don't know. I got, you want to know. I thought you were asking because you had the facts. I thought you were looking it up. No, I know it. No, I know it. I know it. Don't say you. It's me, bro. It's me. What is it then? It's a barnacle. Well, it's a barnacle, dude. Oh, fuck. It's a barnacle. Dude, I almost said barnacle and you didn't give me enough time. You didn't give us time to say a barnacle. It's a barnacle. Barnacles, dicks are like 10 times the size of them. We got to start saying they sound like a barnacle. You hung like a barnacle, dog. Wait, we're talking about real animals, not a fucking crustacean. What? Thank you, Adam. Mammals. They are part of the animal kingdom.

A barnacle. Yes. A barnacle, a living barnacle. They're like clams, basically. Dude, I feel like Adam knows what a barnacle is. You know what? Also, flowers. Flowers are living things. Adam, wait a minute. Barnacles are not plants. Barnacles are. Yeah, but they might as well be. I'm talking about an actual, a mammal, dude. This is getting gray. A mammal. Wait. Oh, no. I said animal, animal kingdom. A barnacle is an animal. Right. But to Adam's point, nobody at home cares about a barnacle now. Okay, cool. Interesting. You wouldn't until they make, until they make that SpongeBob SquarePants episode where they meet the barnacle, and now you're fucking in, bro. Hey, yeah, that's true. See, the R-rated SpongeBob that they're gonna, that they're doing? This dude's

got it. Barnacle dicks are that big, though, that you guys should care. Okay, now look up mammal, please, so that like people can go, oh. All right, this guy doesn't know the difference between Paula Cole and Linda Tripp, but he knows exactly the size of barnacle cocks. To Adam Burn. Fuck off. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our

realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the

hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I got to get out of the house. He's going to find out that I've seen this, he's going to come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington D.C. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can. Signed freeway fan. This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged

out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to freeway phantom on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Mammal with the biggest penis is a blue whale, but in proportion with biggest, what is my search history? Relative. Biggest penis? Relative. Mammal. Mammal. Biggest penis on their relatives? Biggest penis relative to? You're about to get some porno. It's like relatives fucking giant

penis. Mammal? The mammal with the largest penis to body size, we have it, is the Fosacryptoproteferox. It's a Puma. I was just gonna say that. Okay. It's a Puma from Madagascar. Oh boy. I like that. Dog. And you should have said that because then we all would have been stoked. You said barnacle and no one gave you shit, man. You didn't because you think barnacles are plants and they're not. They are animals. I know they're not plants, dude, but they're just a fucking thing on the side of a rock when you're scuba diving. Well, to you, but you don't watch them at night when they're fucking to each other with their big ass dicks and sucking each other's dicks, dude. That's true. I guess I didn't get really into that like, like you did over the pandemic.

Barnacles, fuck. Hey, is there time lapse footage of barnacles jamming? I bet. Yeah, of course. There's time lapse of everything. Oh, well, Blake, look it up and show it to us. And by the way, what's like, what's the street name of this Puma? Not the fucking scientific name. Um, the fucking genus supremus. What would you give me the Puma resembling carnivore? This is like not giving me. Todd is saying fossa. Fossa. Yeah, a fossa. F-O-S-S-A, a fossa. What was that so hard? Or a ferox. Oh, well, yeah, it looks like a fucking ferret. Does it? I want to see a fossa. That does not look like a Puma. Oh, it's related to a Puma, but it's a ferret. Yeah. Well, this thing looks like it has a big dick. Like, look at its eyes.

And the people also ask, is a fossa a cat or a doll? Bro, it's got a big heart. And it's just got a huge, big old swanger, dude. It ain't a cat. It ain't a dog. It's a hawk. Honestly, it's sexy as fuck, too. It is. It's eyes are- Are you looking at this one? This picture? Yeah, look at his like a yellow ass. It looks like it's trying to fuck. Every picture is like, like- Yo, this one where these two guys are on a tree, just kicking it, looking for some girls. Dude, they like over the shoulder, just like looking back like, wait, were you talking to me? Can you buy these? I hope so. These are fucking cool. They are. I love this face. Like, if you had one of these at the crib, they are very cool. And also, you are absolutely right in saying they all

look like they're really throwing out mad sex appeal, right? Yeah, their eyes are like, like they might have popped a Molly. I don't know, but they are ready. Their eyes have that come hither motion. They got a slender face. Can't tell if it's a cat or a dog. Everything wants to fuck this, bro. Fossa. Damn. Fossa, man. Look at those claws. It makes sense. Well, thank God. Thank God they didn't give the- Thank God, God didn't give- Yeah, thank God. And all of the Lord's infinite wisdom, he didn't give the giant, the biggest cock to a fucking barnacle. He gave it to this super sexy cat dog. He did give it to the barnacle, but mammal-wise. Have you guys Google image the fossa penis? No, fossa penis. We're getting there. I would say it would have been

pretty cool if slaw. It is gnarly. It's kind of scary looking. It's not like a nice nice. Oh, yeah, it's not okay. Oh, it kind of looks like alien when like, you know, when alien like opens its mouth and then another little alien comes out, it kind of looks like that. Oh, oh, you mean uncircumcised people? It's also barbed. That's a whole thing. That's a whole another can of worms. I don't like what's popping up now in my like, related images. I gotta go. Oh, look at this. What is this dick? Whose dick is this? That's Michael Douglas. Oh my gosh. Why is this dick bloody? That's a goat dick. Okay. Man. You know that was the last podcast we were talking about Michael Douglas. Yeah, we're just saying Michael Douglas talking

about his cock and stuff. Huh. I'm looking at a goat's dick right now and it is small. What are you guys dressing up for Halloween? Halloween's way over, bro. No, I was just kidding. I meant what you guys dressed up as. Beetlejuice. Nice. Nice. I have a wedding to go to on Halloween, so I won't get to, I'm not gonna be doing any, any dress ups. I did, I just, we hadn't talked about this on the podcast yet, but Chloe and I did do our hot air balloons. What? And there was, for our anniversary, there was three hot air balloons that went up. Two of them landed safely on the ground. Two of them exploded. I landed safely on the ground. I was in one of them. One of them got off course, landed in trees, landed on a bunch of trees. Oh my gosh. That sucks. That's so

scary. How fucking crazy would that be? Is that known when you get into it? They're like, okay, so obviously you're in a hot air balloon. We don't know where the fuck we're landing. I mean, they don't like give you a breakdown like that. No, I mean, they have to train you to be like, when it happens, fucking buckle in or whatever. They absolutely do not. And why two times I've done it. Well, then what do you do? Well, you don't do anything. You hang on. You're just in the basket. Like, there's nothing you can do. They don't tell you to like sit down, cross legged in the bottom of the basket or some shit to like, yeah, isn't there anything they do not tell you any of

that other helmets? I'm sure. No, there's no helmet. But I just like a bag of helmets where it's like, Hey, we're about to crash. Put this on. There's no bags in this basket. It's just you. There's no extra helmet bag. I'm going to start hot air balloon helmets. What about like a parachute? What about like, is there any form a hang glider? There's no parachutes. Blake, you're in a parachute. You're currently in a balloon floating. It's the same thing. But they sit it down gently. It's not like you could they crashed into this tree. They like sat it into this tree. But what if you did what if the yeah, what if the basket starts to tip and then you're well, sure. Yeah. And there's a bunch of fossils there. We're looking to

put a fucking landing tree full of fossils. Hey, I'm with you, dude. Oh, my God. I guess Chloe and I are wild bad boys and girls. Yeah, for sure. You're like for doing this. We're wild. We're we're that crazy couple that goes hot air balloon. You're like a biker gang. It's adrenaline seekers. You're like a hot air balloon biker gang, dude. It's sick. You start shit with other hot air balloons, like steer next to him and be like, fuck, fuck you. Jesus. Just starting beef. That being said, it is exhilarating. Is it? I wanted to go for it. It is cool, dude. You should do it. It's fun. It's super fun. Yeah, it's really cool. And then also he gave us the whole spiel that hot air balloon were invented in France and that we have to drink champagne afterwards.

But this guy was partying, man. He was like he had like eight bottles. There was like 12 people, I think, total. And he had eight bottles of champagne. He's like, we got to finish all the bottles before we can leave. And we're like, Jesus Christ. He's lighting cigarettes off the fucking He's like, here's the deal. You have to drink champagne on a hot air balloon. I just so happen to have a keg of the champagne of beers. So pour up, brother. We got Miller High life on that. It was after we landed that we did all that. But you grab another bottle of champagne out of the helmet basket. Damn, son. We had a bottle of champagne in the basket. It was it was it was dope. Yeah, that's cool, dude. And this is in South Carolina, whereas this was in Asheville, North

Carolina, beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains. Okay. It's very pretty. And that's also why it's kind of like Albuquerque is a great place to hot air balloon. That's where most of the hot air balloon mean in the country is done there. That's the puzzle I've done that Kodak puzzle with all the hot air balloons. Yeah, because there's no you can land anywhere. It's the fucking desert. Yeah, no trees, no fosters. These people got off course and just landed in the fucking in a pine tree. You know, they just landed in the woods. I mean, I guess you get a story. I wish I landed in the tree, dude. No, man, trust me, you don't want to do that. Because you know, it's in a tree. The falses. Hell of a bush of fossils or the bear.

I don't know what North Carolina has in the trees, but there is probably dangerous. Probably dangerous as hell. No, Blake, you finally watch pray. The Predators equal. I have not watched it yet. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Well, either you should watch it. It's it's I wouldn't say it's really good, but it's fucking good. Is it a series or a movie? It's a movie. It's one movie. Okay. Yeah, that's doable. Yeah, I should knock it out. It's fucking cool. They took Predator. They put it in this other world, like not other world, but like it's early. It's like Native American style. Yeah, that's such a fucking good idea. It's fucking dope. And there's a cool bear sequence. No, that's just cool, man. They finally they finally nailed something. I like

that. Right. Not an AVP guy. You know what I'm liking is the rings of power. But I was always a Lord of the Rings guy. I fucking always kind of weirdly geeked out on that stuff. I hear it's really good. It is good. If you liked Lord of the Rings, it's really, really good. Are you fucking with it more than the Game of Thrones one House of Dragons? Yes, you are. In fact, by a long shot. Really? That is interesting. It's just a little more fun. It was a little more, it was like a little brighter, a little more magical. You can see the people like the world seemed bigger. Like the few episodes of the House of Dragons I saw was just like fuckfest. It was just too much for a fuckfest. And you know me, the brood. Not for you.

No, I just, it just wasn't as fun. Like Rings of Power was a more fun show. That's cool. And Dahmer, man, that's a what a lighthearted romp that is. But does anybody party like Dahmer does? Hey, I'll drink to that. Well, wait, you guys watched the rehearsal? I mean, these are shows that have aired weeks ago, but the rehearsal was just. Well, who knows when people watch any of these things? They're all streaming. We watch it around the ledger. Who gives a shit? I'll tell you who knows. The fucking companies know they won't tell us. Yeah, that is true. But flowers to the rehearsal and to Nathan Fielder. Yes. Just operates on another level. I was texting Blake. I'm like, this is a whole new genre of comedy. Yeah. By going like, why would I write something

when I can find people and there you go and manipulate them in ways that like you make discoveries that you just can't by being like, would be a funny situation here comedically. Yeah. Fucking disaster, my guy. We should all quit. Any giveaways? No, I was just so good. Sarah worked on his show, right? Yeah, because Sarah's husband, Dave, is in cahoots. Yeah. So we kind of had the inside track on like how Nathan Fielder does it. But I remember when she like told me how he does. No spoilers. I forgot. But it's pretty real. It's just that show, they must like, I think they go like, because the shit just seems so organic. Like it all seems like it's folding in on itself. It's really a trip, man. It's a fucking trip. Linda trip. Paula Cole.

I admittedly, I'm sorry. I spent too much time watching rings of power. I didn't watch the rehearsal. I think I saw one episode. Treat yourself. Yeah, it'll just, hey, your appetite for comedy, it's going to satiate it, pal. You're going to enjoy it. Yeah, it's cool, man. Freaking gobble, gobble. It is funny. It just hits you in a whole different way, where you're like, fuck, this is crazy. Yeah, it's on some weird, weird, weird shit. Weird stuff. Well, any takeaways, givebacks, apologies. I want to give back to you guys. You know, I feel like I've taken so much. I want to give back to the community. I've taken so much. I've ridden your coattails, so I want to give back. Oh man, thank you. Off air. Off air. I'll let you know. I'll let you do it

on you. Of course, never would. But you'll see. You'll see. I mean, I want to take back calling Paula Cole, Linda trip. I don't know where that came from. Deep recess. I'll text you guys all in a couple of days. No, no, no, no, no. I would like to give you flowers for doing that, because it really started the podcast off strong, confusing, strong, it's always nice to put your foot in your mouth and within the first few minutes of the podcast, because then that's that's gold right there. So thank you for that. You gave us gold. And maybe you want to apologize for calling barnacles plants, because that's pretty weird that you thought they weren't animals. Well, I didn't really, I didn't say that. I don't think he said plants. You know,

he said it barnacle might as well be a flower. What? Well, sure. What? That's different. Because it's not like an animal that is walking around. Do it. Okay. It's more, it's more similar to a plant that is just planted right there that does nothing that you can't pet. How big is a sunflowers dick? Okay, listen, Blake, I'm not here to referee, but you're a fucking disaster. My guy. It's not true. No, that's not true. I don't want to ref, but please shut the fuck up. Dude, he called it a fucking plan. Why are you standing up for barnacles so much? Okay, you're a fucking disaster, my guy. Dicks are huge. Okay, wait, you know what? Fair enough. Adam, you asked, he answered and I'm kind of like fair enough. I'm going to stand up for any dick with a huge dick,

bro. Hey, you're absolutely right. Wow. That's my team. All right, those are my Olympics. I'm glad you finally said it. Okay, because for a while I didn't know what the fuck you were talking about. If you got a huge dick, I'm falling in line, bro. All is right with the world. If you got a huge dick, I'm falling in line. It makes a lot of sense. And that's another episode of this. What's up? This is the Arugulord. How are y'all doing, T.I.I. luncheon? Leave him wanting less. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like,

can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart Radio app,

Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. It's that freeway phantom. Listen to freeway phantom on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.