This Is Important - Ep 117: Drive Thru Pizza. That’s It. That’s the Pod.

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

Today, this is what's important: Getting in shape, saline bags, parenting, knives, kids sports, fast food drive thrus, New Years resolutions, and more.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about

what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today, we talk about watch me shove my nuts in the CPAP machine and I'll sleep like a baby, baby. You drink vodka out of a Gatorade bottle like every other kid in America. You're learning skills, you dumb fucking idiot. You're learning skills. All right, dude, here it is. That's a dog licking your dad's butthole. Here we go. Start your engines. All right, all right, all right. Happy New Year. Good job. Are you guys going to, what are your resolutions this year? You guys firing up at any

big time res? Wow. I'm not going to say any dumb shit anymore. You're still on that, too. I want to tell you right now, Blake, that I don't think that attitude is healthy for your mind. Okay, you have to give yourself yet. You have a simple mind and you're putting too much stress on it right now. Okay. Yeah, that's too much, dude. Come on. Okay. All right. Let me think of a real resolution. I'm bad with resolutions. I've never made one that I stuck to ever even tried. Okay. Well, I always say my resolution is the same every year. It's like I'm going to be in the best shape of my life this year. Really, that's only happened like one time. Right. Like 2015. Your boobs are huge. Maybe. Yeah. That was like the only time that it actually happened. Right. And there's no way

you can get into the best shape of your life now. What? Yeah, there's a way. That's not going to happen. Why not? What the hell? Like relative TRT. Yeah. He'll get on it. Why not? Lever King. Yeah, I've got to take testosterone and get jacked into it. No, but I mean like you're not going to be in better shape than when you were like 24, 25, right? No, I was in bad shape. But yeah, I was, I was in, I would say five years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. Yeah. All right. Well, okay, that's fine. I wish you the best. I love you a lot. You knew me when I was 20. There was, I was a little pudgy. Kyle, stop projecting. Yeah, it was a projection. I love you a lot. I wish you the best. It was a projection. You were in the best shape of your life, I would say,

when we were doing P90X. Correct. When you were strong and you could do pull ups and stuff. Right. Don't care. That was tight. Yeah. That was a good couple months. You guys were 24, right? We were 24. Yeah, yeah, 24 years old. And so what Kyle's projecting is that he doesn't feel like he could get back there. Oh, I bet you could, Kyle. That's what I'm doing. See, the thing is, is I never stopped. Are you? You took a decade off after P90X. That'll do it. Pizza, pizza. I think if you get on it, that'll do it. That'll do it. Well, a decade fully off. I didn't take a decade fully off. I don't do it. Okay. Well, what workout program were you? Kyle's actor. You're still walking. You're not my 600 pound life, but yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Kyle's an active. He's an active guy. Whoa, I stayed running. I stayed skateboarding. I stayed doing my cardio. No, you didn't. You stayed running. I did. Running errands. I meant eating. How many miles a week do you run? Whenever I would get in trouble, I'd throw at least four. I'd throw like three on a day, right? Get in trouble. Yeah. What are you talking about? Heart murmurs? Back, dude, at a certain weight, you got to, you know, you're like, oh, I'm in trouble. It's a little too hot. This doesn't happen to you guys. Oh, okay. What we're saying is we don't know. You don't know what it's like to get in trouble with your weight to be like, oh, this is too heavy. I'm not going to say with your wife. I got to go for a run. You know what I mean? Like

when you're considering heart health, when you're considering aging, when you're considering all of that stuff. I've never gotten to the point that I was worried for my heart health. No. I've never gotten that obese. Well, you're not worried about anything. Well, true. I've gotten to a place where I'm not thrilled. I'm not thrilled with my weight where I'm like, oh, I should probably lose 10. Yeah. Yeah. But I've never been like, I've never laid down in bed and been like scared. Your boobs are huge. I didn't say I'm scared. I just said I got in a little bit of trouble. But did that happen? Yeah, but you've definitely laid down in bed and like grabbed your chest and got scared. Or like you've woken up because you weren't breathing in your sleep.

Right. You've got sleep apnea, right? That's apnea, dude. That's apnea, bro. Do you have apnea? Because your snoring is absolutely terrible. Well, it's not that bad anymore. Once I quit smoking cigarettes, like it wasn't as bad. That gave me apnea. Oh, is that right? Yeah. Yeah. I would love to hear it. Do you have to wear the mask and everything? Or did you have to? I was issued a CPAP machine. Yes, I was. I made my own. I made my own mask. That's why I have a custom CPAP that I created. I guarantee you, you thought about doing some shit like that. It was like, all right, so it's just these tubes and all right, well, I can do this. Yeah, no problem. Absolutely. Absolutely. So, but did you use it? No, I never, I never really used it. Why not? It probably feels good.

What happened was is like, you don't put it on your dick. Yeah, you can. It goes, it goes. Watch me shove my nuts in the CPAP machine and I'll sleep like a baby baby. Now how's your dick breathe? Your dick's breathing. Dude, your dick snores a lot, bro. Wait, have you ever done an oxygen bar? Yes, in Vegas? Yes. It's wonderful. Oh, yeah. Wonderful. Those aren't real, right? Adam comes in with the, oh yeah. Oh, yeah. You guys got an hour? Uh, well, no, I mean, I straight up, I fuck with that and I fuck with a total, like the drips that you get, the like hydration drips. Sure, yeah. Dude. Oh, you've done that? Oh, I haven't done that before. The hangover drip? Oh, the hangover drip. Oh, yeah. Oh, man,

I want to do it so bad. I'd like to do that too. I would really like to do that. Just see what it feels. Does it work? Yes. Yeah. Does it make your dick bigger? No, that's a CPAP. Yeah, you got to strap the CPAP on. You're saying that's good for hangovers. Have you ever tried it just like for wellness, not, uh, what? That is wellness. Wait, what? Huh? Like, like not hung over, like not fighting out of a, out of a hole. Have you ever done it on like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I did it. I did it, uh, when I like, I, but it was for COVID. It was like, I had COVID and they gave, it was some kind of, I forget exactly what is a, what was it called? It was like, it's supposed to help you get over your symptoms faster. Johnson and Johnson. Sure. What do you,

what do you mean by that? It's a cocktail. It's like this fucking bag. A Z-Pack? Yeah, specifically, no, it's for COVID. It's not a Z-Pack. It's a COVID. I forget what it was, but then on top of it, I was like, just give me the drip. That's some celebrity shit, bro. So wait, so wait, hang on a second. I paid a ton of money for it. That's when you did it, Adam? Okay. So we, when you get hooked up with things, if you give money. So you did the, you did the drip when you got COVID. Right. I got COVID and then you've done it before or since? Yes. And I've done it before and since. Okay. I thought you were like, I fuck with that. When I got COVID, I did it. But it's only from like hangovers and shit where I've just been like,

fire one up. So how does it work? Does somebody come to your house and strap a bag to you or do you have to go to a spot? Well, both. I think you can go places, but I... You haven't come to your place? I get hooked up. Come to me. After paying the money. That's the way I've done it, of course. So do they actually stab you with a needle? Blake, yes. I believe it is intravenous. Well, yes, they're not stabbing you. Yes. What do you mean? It's an intravenous procedure. Yes. Oh man. That's... They basically are giving you fluids. Are you scared of needles, Blake? No. I mean, I can do it. I just like, I'm not... I don't like needles. His voice quivered. His voice quivered when he said, no. I don't like it. I'm not hyped. Like, I'll do it. I don't give a fuck,

bro. I don't give a fuck. Well, sure. I'm not, I'm not like, give me them needles, boy. But it's doesn't... Here's what I'll say. Now that you... Adam, it sounds like something you might say. I just want to party. I'll say, if it will take away my hangover, yes, you can fucking chop my head off. Yeah. And it's not, it's not if you are wildly hungover, you're not going to be like, oh shit, I'm ready to go play basketball, but it'll, it helps you like 50%. So if you're really hungover, you're way less hungover. But here's, here's, here's a dirty little secret. I like that. I know a person who was an EMT and when him and his homies that were also EMTs would go drinking and then they had to like drive home, they would do a salient bag to get the

blood alcohol level low so they could hit the road. Whoa. I love it. That's science. So it like flushed them. Hey guys at home, that's a life hack for you. Welcome back. Happy new year. Hey, sign me up. I'm, I'm trying to be a frickin EMT. I think the hardest part about doing that would be putting the needle in your own arm. That would be fucking insane. Okay. No, you look at your friend and you put it in his, at the same time he puts it in yours, you stare at each other. Yeah. Ready? Yeah. Set. Now. Wait. I'm three. Oh, fuck. Ow. And then you whisper. Insert. Right. Yeah. Infects me. Close it Adam. What's the, what show are you watching? Angels in the Outfield. That was me. That was Blake. It's not Angels in the Outfield. It's Angels in America.

Excellent play. It was Angels in America. And I like asked Blake, this was when we were roommates together like well over 15 years ago. Excellent play. I walked into Blake's room asking if he wanted to play NBA street and I walk in and I just see like one person go, infect me. Yes. And I'm like, Blake. Pivotal scene in Angels in America. It sounds juicy. It was. Yeah. I suggest everybody watches that play if you can see it live or you can watch the HBO special which I believe Adam walked in on watching. And admittedly, you know, I'm sure it's a good, I'm sure it's an incredible movie or show. That being said, it was a weird thing. I was not expecting to walk in on that, you know. Frickin' Sia. Oh, Frickin' Sia. It's like parent style and parents always walked in at like the sex

part of the movie and they'd be like, what are you watching? You're like, it's the only part of the movie that is. Was there ever like a song or something your parents didn't like you listening to and they were like off? They were like wrong about it? What do you mean? Yeah. Yeah. My mom's was, she was like, I don't want you to listen to Weezer. Yeah. And I'm like, Weezer. And they're like, at the beginning of some song on the blue album, it was, you know, like it's like a party and Blake might know what I'm talking about. And they're like. You going to the show? Yeah. It's a sweater song. You come to the show. Yeah, the sweater song. He's like, you come to the party after the show? Oh, so stoked. Take it easy, bro. That's literally the line. Right. My mom heard

so stoned. Take it easy, bro. And she was like, I don't like you listening to that. So stoned. And I'm like, they say stoked. Goodbye. No, they don't. No, that sounds familiar. No, they don't idiot. Did they say stoked back then? I remember my mom, me being like, what a fucking idiot, dude. Yeah. Dude, you know which one mine was? This is a freaking real poll. It was a member whoop, there it is by tag team back again. Whoop, hit your kids. She's like tag team. Your mom's like, I know what tag team is. That's when you're each fucking the same woman and you're tagging in. Blake, no. That's why you're here. I know tag team. You want to know what tag team is? I'm like, mom, I watch wrestling. She's like, that's now. That's now. Oh, no, no, no.

By the way, that would be the fucking worst tag team. You think I don't know what that is? I know what it is. Oh, I know what it is. I lived it, brother. Oh, do I know what it is? They're just partners. They're partners. They're good friends. What's that? Survivor series. I'll tell you what a survivor series is. That's what four guys. Whoa, whoa, mom. Mom, you're off base. A Royal Rumble. This is a wrestling thing. And then it's just like, no, I know. I was just telling a joke. Right. Now, my mom thought that, uh, whoop, there it is was whoop, that ass. Okay. Okay. Yeah. That's what she thought. And she's like, I don't like this song. I mean, it is whoop, day it is. It's funny when they straight up whoop, day it is. And maybe it is, by the way,

I guess after she said it, I'm like, maybe, maybe she knows. Maybe she knows something we don't. Whoop, there it is. That's kind of good. That's a good ear. Yeah. Quad City DJs. Yeah. Tag team. Tag team. What's Quad City DJs? Tootsie Roll. Tootsie Roll was Quad City DJs. Okay. Did you guys have Kyle or Anders? Yeah, did you have one? A song particular that your parents just got wrong and you're like, no. You're asking Anders if his parents paid attention to Yeah. Burn. Get him points. I remember my parents, I remember my playing music, my parents being like, who gave you that and taking it away? How dare you find enjoyment? No, no, I do. There was something where my mom completely like misread

the hook of some Tribecaw quest song or something. What's the scenario? I'll tell you the scenario. I'll tell you the scenario. The scenario is four dudes. The scenario? You want to know what the scenario is? I'll show it to you. You want to see it? I do remember one of my buddies went the other way with it where he convinced his mom on that Afro man track where it's like, uh, because I got high, he said that like, got high was a word and it was slang for something. Like I couldn't clean my room because I got high because I got high like a guy because I got high. Whatever. So here's the thing about this. I thought your friend was smart for a second. And then when you explain it, I'm like, your friend's mom's an idiot.

That makes my friend smart, right? That makes my friend smart. No, no, no. The concept is smart. Yeah. But what he said it was is stupid. Well, I don't know the exact detail. I think he was jumped or something like that. Like because I jumped. I'm a dumb ass. Or like worked out or something like that. But to say like, hi, I mean something else and to be a mom and go, all right, 12 year old person. Yeah. I just don't want to argue with that. Okay, cool. Yeah. And also like, I feel, I don't have kids and maybe I'll feel differently when I do, but I feel like I really won't care that much unless it's like truly like the most sexual thing and they're like six years old and they're singing all the words, you know, like, hey, like what,

hey, what, what age do you, would you let a kid listen to WAP a wet ass pussy? I think you have, I think you have to go through puberty, right? Right. You have to have to be through it. Some people don't go through puberty like 16. Yeah. Your friend Blake, it's science and me. I think you have to be like post puberty or the, or that age, you know what I mean? Honestly, once 10 hits, I don't give a fuck what they say. Really? 10? Really? Yeah. 10? When you're 10? I mean, I guess you can't, that's almost on the, that's on the precipice of middle school. If you don't know the shit by 10 and then you turn 12 and everyone's like, wait, what grade is 10? What grade is 10? I think 10 is fifth grade. Fourth or fifth? Sixth grade. Sixth grade is so much

different than fifth grade in my mind. Well, of course. And we've, we've covered you in Blake's mind. They don't say wash yet. There's no popcorn. No, this is a post popcorn world. That's junior high. Junior high was way different. So wait, because I went to middle school or junior high in fifth grade. Oh, really? Yeah. See, that explains so much. See, that's why it changed for you because I, I agree with Blakey. Thank you. That I think it's middle school is the, it's when you go, when you leave your elementary school and go to another school is when I'm like, all right, the grade. Yeah, you can't, you can't really stop anything. You can, you can listen to whatever and watch all the hardcore porno. That's on daddy's work computer. So you, you say,

okay, now that you're at, now that you're in middle school, now that you've changed schools, now that you're with these older kids, now you can do it. You don't want to prime them. So they already know shit before they get there. Well, no, because I don't want them to be the little creeps being like, oh, shit, you don't know about this. Yeah. I think it's okay to like feel that shit coming back, but you don't want them sending that out. It's okay for them to be like, in the mix, learning things along with their friends. I want my kids to know what Royal Rumble survivor series. I will say that it was in high school, like my friends that didn't party in high school. Like specifically, I remember the girl, she was our valedictorian and I saw her allegedly.

I just want to party. I saw her at a party in college and she was like the drunkest person and it was like early and I was like, oh, she's like, she's too sloppy for right now because you're a rookie, bro. Yeah, she was a rookie. She like hadn't party like that ever. And then she's in way over her head and in college. I'm like, you got to prep a little bit when it comes to that stuff. So you know how to slam for Zima. So you do agree with me or you disagree with me? Adam's saying he wants to build up his children's tolerance. That's what I'm saying. He went to alcohol. Yes. Okay. So I guess I'm kind of agree. You don't want them to get to middle school and no, no, no, no, no, they're saying different things. They're saying different things. Well,

it's different. I don't want my kids drinking in fifth grade, but no, no, no, I'm talking about content. I'm talking about content. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's two separate things. Yeah. Like watching workaholic. Yeah. When he's 10, I'll be like, all right, dude, here it is. That's a dog licking your dad's butt. You're going to let him see that at 10 years old? Like that's, oh, that's all good. Well, if he wants to, like, right, I don't think you're going to sit him down and go, it's time to see what daddy does. Well, how do you enter? Okay. Well, here's the other thing. How do you introduce that? Like if he wants to say, Hey, do you want to watch this episode where dad's butthole gets licked by a dog? Or do you say what you're about to see is some

weird shit with your dad? No, I go sit down. I say, you, I say, you sit down. We're watching this. Yeah. That's what it is. Sit down. You're watching this now. You're going to be on on the forefront of, and he's like, I just want to watch bluey dad. Hey, drink a beer. I want you. Hey, yo. Paw Patrol movie. Can I just watch Paw Patrol movie? No, you're not watching anything until you take that shot. Rip a bong and then watch Paw Patrol with your pops. This is what I'm saying. When he's 10 and he goes, can I watch Nightmare on Elm Street or can I watch Scream or whatever scary movies coming out? Fuck it. Barbarian. I go, yep. It's scary. Really? I see. I see what you're saying. So you're not, dude, I was watching shit like that.

Well, yeah, my, my parents actively didn't care about like movies. Okay. Her music. We were talking about music. Like he can listen to WAP when he's fucking 10. Yeah. And, and my mom was like, I don't know. And then I'm like, well, I'm going to anyways. And she's like, okay, whether they say stoned or not. Yeah. But this is like, there's, there's by your, what you're saying is like, kid goes to school, kid hears about WAP, kid comes home and says, Hey, dad, I want to listen to this song. And you're like, that's cool. You're not saying I go fine as opposed to you cannot listen to that. And now you know what he does? He goes upstairs and he listens to it secretly. Yeah. And then all the, and then what

other secrets? What other things is he hiding? Cause he thinks I want to prove that's healthy. I get behind that. Cause I was not allowed. I was censored. Well, he's, he's dissecting dead animals, but, but he's doing it with his dad. He's doing it with his dad though. So it's fine. Like Romer did the same thing. We're with you. We got it. That's life. Fucking no more dumb things. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called inner cosmos on I heart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford university. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. So we can better understand our lives and our

realities. Like does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to inner cosmos with David Eagleman on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning. And now we're sharing an all new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I scrolled down. And that's when I saw a hidden folder. And I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark. She feared for her life. She was like, Oh my God, I got to get out of the house. He's going to find out that I've seen this. He's going to come kill me. Listen to season two of betrayal on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, DC. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was

responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can sign freeway fan. This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car and thrown out of the car. The person said I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to freeway phantom on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. What age if your kids like, Hey, kids are drinking at school, like kids are drinking at school. I

want to try it, but I'm afraid to do it with them. Would you drink with them? I go with them. I go with when you drink with your kid at the party or whatever. Cheers. Hey, this is my son. You guys, he's cool. If your kid came to you at 15 years old and is like, Hey, they're drinking. I don't want to like, I want to be drunk with you guys for the first time. You have a real cool relationship with your kid. Yeah, that's I didn't do that with my parents. Well, for sure. I didn't either. Obviously, you drink vodka out of a Gatorade bottle, like every other kid in America. Right. But you hit it from everyone except for your peers. And you hit it. Yes. And it was behind the additional classrooms at your middle school, obviously. I'm still going to send it. Would you

would you go, Okay, well here, we're going to, we're going to have a few drinks and you're going to be drunk with me. Or would you say nah, like you have to wait until you're 21. Well, dude, this is a weird one for me because I'm sober. So what the fuck do I do? Oh, shit. What do I do? I've thought about that. Like, I don't know. Well, you don't have to drink with your kid to have them have a couple drinks. I mean, I would be just monitoring. That's what I would do then. Yeah, you would drink your RC colas and yeah. With some rum. Here's what I'll do. I'll go, I'll go if we're if it's just the family, and we're having some burgers, we're barbecuing, and my kid wants to have a beer. I go, why? I'm a man. And I don't know what the answer is going

to be because because I want to try it dad. Then I go, you know what here, here's half a beer. Uh huh. And you know what? Now I drink that half beer. I want the rest dad. Wait a second. Oh, shit. I take it back. I just got doxed. Oh, okay. What happens when you have more daddy? I want to be more like you and your friends. I want to be more like you and your friends. Here's what I won't do because I remember some parents doing this shit was having kids over to the house to drink or smoke weed or whatever. Oh yeah. And like the parents were upstairs. Yes. I'm not I'm not that parent. You know why? No, because that's fucking insane. That is insane. And then you got to deal with some other parents who's like, you'll have my kid drink in the basement. And the whole thing is

like I'd rather they do it here as opposed to somewhere else. And I go, I get that do that for your kid or teach your kid or instill in your kid not to be on some fucking like top of a bridge hammered, you know, like ready to fall off and die. But that is fun. Oh, we've been over this drunk driving is the most fun. Yeah. Yeah, it's super fun. Be doing dangerous shit when you're drunk is really fun. Right. Didn't the I thought the parents of the other kids who came over to the party had to be like, yeah, we are in the same boat. But that's only good up until a certain point when like then the kid OD is on gold schlager. And then the parents like, yeah, actually fuck that. Right. And then you got a death on your hands for sure. And then like that parents sues you and

you go to Yale jail. I just want to party. Right, right. Okay. That's that was my dad's stance is he like, because I had a few parties in school. And he would be like, there's no drinking. And I'm like, yeah, okay, for sure. Right. What do you mean when he's there or out of town or one time we had a party and it was like a the party that was going to start right before school started or my senior year of high school. Right. And it got way out of hand. I had like all these tents set up in my backyard. And everyone was supposed to be drinking back in these 10 and then obviously everyone just stopped doing that. And there ended up being like 500 people tents blown away. 500 people in the backyard and like the cops came and my parents and myself got 22 or 26 charges of

procuring alcohol to minors. That shit's a huge deal. And my dad was so mad because he didn't want it. And it was sort of my mom that was like, Oh, it's fine. They'll be quiet. And it got way, way, way out of hand. Right. And admittedly, like, I was terrified because I was like, my parents are going to go to jail. Like my dad might go to jail for this dumb ass party that I threw. Right. The party was very fun. But right. No, yeah, speak it like it is. The charges ended up getting dropped and like it was fine. But well, how did it get dropped? We I had to hire a lawyer and then and then they dropped it for the parents and then I got like, hey, so they paid long hair lawyer was a long hair lawyer. No, no, no, very short hair lawyer. Did you have to pay your parents back

for the lawyer? I did. Yeah. In beer. That's responsible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, bought him a house. So I mean, then now got him back. He said, I'll get you back. Yeah, I did pay them. It was like at that time, it was like $800, which to me, I'm like, it might as well be a billion dollars. Yeah, that's a lot of fucking dough. I think it was I was a good kid. You know, it's a good kid. I was like, that's what the lawyer said to the teacher. I was Adam, Adam, no, you weren't. We've been over this. No, for sure. I was a way back. You tried to poison. You tried to poison your neighbor. You were led to believe you were a good kid. Okay, through batteries at animals. Yeah, you were led to believe. I never did through batteries. I don't know. I was

making shit up now. Did you go fucking rocks at cars? Well, for sure. Everybody did that. Everyone did. I know. I did that too. I guess what I'm saying is $800 doesn't seem like a lot to pay a lawyer to get you out of how many. Yeah. 22. 22 counts. I know. And it was something like it could have been $10,000 a count. Right. My parents were looking at yet, several hundred thousand dollars. Yeah, say north of several hundred thousand dollars. North of several hundred thousand dollars. Shout out to that lawyer. Yeah, shout out to that lawyer. That dude frigging rock. Yeah, I don't know. It's not like we had money. Or your parents told you it was $800 because they're sweet people. Right. They're like pay us $800. Yeah,

maybe. But I really don't think so because they were so mad. Specifically, my dad was so mad at me. Yeah. But and it was the kind of mad that actually like scared you, scares you more because he was so mad he like wasn't looking at me or talking to me. You know, I got to go to work and everyone thinks my kids some fun party guy who people like. I got to deal with that now. Well, why didn't you cry about it? That was an award winning speech from Durst. He's some sort of leader of party guys in high school that people look up to and want to be. I got to deal with that. I got to deal with that. Making me feel good. Dude, your dad wouldn't look at you or talk to you. That's a

fucking that will rock. For how long? My dad, you guys know my dad. He's super for like maybe like a week. It was like, oh, shit, sink that sink in. All right. I was grounded for like the first month of high school, your senior year of high school. It was really bad. Oh, dude, I was grounded so much. What you didn't know is he got his tonsils pulled out that same week. And you thought it was related. He's like, he won't talk to me so fucked up. I was grounded so much in high school because I always got caught smoking cigarettes, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Cry for no time. I never, that was the only time I think I ever remember being grounded

was with that time. I was grounded half of high school, for sure, because my great my grades were dog shit. My parents were like, until you get A's and B's, you're grounded. And I was like, let's make it a blockbuster night because I ain't gone nowhere. All right. Have you guys had to ground your kids yet? Are they too young to where it's like, there's no real grounding because they're not doing shit? No, we're not. We're not even gonna ground because it's pointless. No grounding. It does. It is weird, man. It is weird. God, I hope they're not listening. They're gonna pull this up. It's pointless. It doesn't do anything. But you're going to hit them. Gunna, gunna, Adam. Yeah, you got it. I've been there.

What if you ground them in the garage? The only way they're getting ground is if I donkey come punch them on top of the head and they go into the ground. Yeah. Because sometimes when you ground kids in their room, that's their favorite fucking place to be. My move is I sit them if we're in whatever room I sit. Oh, you got to take away the iPad or whatever, right? We don't do iPads. Yeah, no iPads. I sit them on the stairs and I say, whatever they've done, let's say they called their brother or name or they hit them. I go, you stay here until you're ready to come back and be with us and not hit like your brother or whatever. I take the example and I go, you come back when you're ready to not to be the person who does that. And weirdly,

they never go, okay, fine. I feel that way now. They never come back. They have left. They've packed up. They stay on the stairs and they legit look inward to go like, can I go back? Am I ready to be that person now? That's really good parenting advice, Jersey. Yeah, did I mention the stairs have nails? Has any of your children tried to run away yet? No, I know what you're talking about. I definitely tried to run away. Yeah, I feel like I did that at about your kids age. Like, I feel like I was seven or eight and be like, I'm going to run away and pack a little backpack full of stuff for sure. Right. Triscuits. And then I walked to the end of the block and I couldn't. I wasn't allowed across the street at like this certain point. So I just

kind of stayed there for like 10 minutes. I mean, while my mom's like watching me out the window, and then I just like came back, you know what I mean? Like, did have they done tried that maneuver yet? Or I guess it's like LA. So like maybe it's scarier. There's too many coyotes. Yeah, never. Yeah, gonna get eaten by a mountain lion or a coyote. Well, when I was when I was like 10, I had already got a pocket knife. I had to be eight years old to have a pocket knife. So in my little overnight back when I was 10, I'd already gotten the pocket knife already. I had to wait. I was allowed. Well, sure. I also had a pocket knife, dude. I did too. Yeah. No, I was allowed to have a pocket knife when I was eight years old. And then at the same year, I was allowed

to walk to the store and come back. I could do both of those things the same year with the knife to school. What? There was like a lot of rules over in the new check house. Oh, dude, my house was filled with rules. Yeah, we had rules, too. It was I was also grounded because of grades, and they would take my car away because of grades. And it was why don't you write about it? A lot of rules, man. I remember I didn't have any video games in my house, none whatsoever. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was we didn't either, but we didn't want them. Like they didn't encourage it. And then so we were just kind of like there. Yeah, didn't you ever go over to a friend's house and you're like, Oh, shit, Mortal Kombat is the most fun thing. I never got into it. I just had to go to

the neighbor's house and I was not into it. I was like, this is kind of sick, but whatever. I'm going to go make a ramp. If you're a kid with no, if you don't have a video game system and you try to play video games, you suck at them so bad that you just can't. You have to have a long time with them. Right. And then you Yeah, I missed the boat on video games straight up. Like every time we would play like I was not even like so I wasn't even close to being as good as you guys or you why did you all you guys have knives though? You all had not like a Swiss army knife. Yeah. Yeah, what do you mean? Cause we're little boys, dude. What are you talking about? I didn't cup check. I don't have a knife. I don't have a fucking knife. Why would I ever

didn't have a blade homie? How old were you when you got your first blade? There's no way I would even remember that because I have no it's not significant to me. I never wanted a knife. Well, Blake, you have blades now. Well, I wanted a samurai sword. Okay. And how old were you when you got that? I was in college. Fuck it. You never had like a pocket knife. You never had a pocket knife or like a BB guns or anything like that. Nunchaku BB gun, but that's different from a knife. A knife is what the hell are you going to do with the knife? It's a tool. No, the knife is for whittling. That's what we were doing. We were whittling. Yeah, you whittle sticks whittling. What the fuck are you whittling for? You make like points on sticks and then you

so for for arrows so you could stab your friends. Squirrels. Yeah. You get a knife to make more sharp items. Yeah, exactly. I don't know. What? Yeah. Well, you need an but like you just need a knife when you're about eight years old. No, you dude, Blake, you better chill. I think you're about to get your man card revoked. Pull it. Bro, no, I do not see I what would I need a knife for? I don't know. I was a I was a I was a Cub Scout. No, you weren't. It was like the survival. I'm a dude. Yeah, the survival technique of it all. I think that's what I got mine for. It was just like a little Swiss army. Surviving what? What the fuck are you guys surviving? You're learning skills, you dumb fucking idiot. You're learning skills. What skill are you learning with a knife?

Whittling? Yes, that is. Yes, that is a skill. Blake, what is it with Blake? That's like the number one thing you could have named anything else. Whittling. Yes, I just said that. I just said it. Yes. Well, they mentioned whittling. What else are you going to do with the knife? What skills? You can cut things. You can not use it to cut cut ropes. That's what scissors are for. What the fuck? You are so embarrassing right now. I'm a man. But you don't bring scissors camping. Were you not a Cub Scout, Blake? You didn't do Cub Scouts. I was a Boy Scout for one day, literally one day. Why? And they were like, where's your knife? And you're like, I want to go home. No, I said these motherfuckers are up to something over here. What do you mean,

staying around with this? This is weird, bro. What do you mean Boy Scout? Like my cute ass. Right. They got me in an Ascot prancing around in little shorts. Nah, bro, I'm out, brother. Those shorts are dope. I got to get a pair of those. Actually, I think we had pants. Yeah, they were tight. The whole, I think the whole reason I even joined was because like hot topic was selling like Boy Scout uniform. Yeah, bro, that's it. Were they really? That was like where you would get it? No, I think they sold some. Also, dude, hot topic wasn't around when you were eight years old. There's holes in your story. It might have been in California. No, this was later. This was later. He's talking about Boy Scouts, which was, it's obviously after Cub Scouts.

So what happened? You skipped all the weeblos. You skipped all the Tiger Cubs. You skipped all the stuff. Webelos? Yeah, Webelo. Yeah. Yeah, that's what the Cub Scout leader, that's what he kept telling, telling Kyle, hey, Webelo. Yeah, we, we, we, we, we below each other. Webelo all these boys. And these little beads you get, guess where those go? Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our

realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a

terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, DC. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was

responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can. Signed freeway fan. This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Like the Pinewood Derby, you didn't do the Pinewood Derby. That's another thing that you could do. The best. When you were a Cub Scout. Dude, the Pinewood Derby was, because you were, you could weigh the car. Oh yeah, you could. And up to a certain point, my dad didn't read, he's helping me build it. He didn't read the directions. So I just had a block of wood, a painted block of wood. I came in and you do like 10 races with your car, just dead last every time. I was so, I was like devastated. I have to remember the cars that were a painted block of wood. Like there was no, there was no sculpting at all. There was zero. My dad was like, and we're done. Okay. That shit's important. Wheels are on. I remember getting the graphite and

just like blasting the graphite in the wheels so the extra slippery and kids always having on the day, having to like remove weights to like make weight or whatever. Are you guys going to put your kids in Cub Scouts? I don't know if it exists anymore. I think it like went up for, yeah, they got busted, bro. They got busted. No, it for sure exists. It's bad. It's a bad institution. Yeah, but people still are, people still are Catholic and the Catholic church was busted too. You know what I mean? Like it, hold up. Right. Yeah, but that's a different thing. People believe in God. For sure. I truly think, yeah, but don't you believe in whittling? Because we've just talked about it. I don't. Well, I'll put my kid in a whittle class. It doesn't have to

be Cub Scouts. I don't think we'll do it. I think we're so, dude, we're in soccer playoffs right now. It's going down. It's still, it's fully still a thing. Oh really? You're in soccer playoffs? Yeah, they won their game the other night. They were down four to one and then they fucking clawed back, tied the game, went through overtime, went into a shootout. Arnie fucking tagged this ball and scored a nine game winner. Super stoked. It wasn't the game winner. We won when the other team, some kid kicked left of the goal, but it was a fucking nail biter and we're going back tonight. Oh, you're saying it was like penalty shots? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like, yeah, oh, that's fucking crazy. Yeah. Is it kind of cool like your kids are getting into the age now that

they're getting kind of good at sports? Because I bet they're for a while. Yeah, I was a little worried going into it. It's a little bit like, okay, everyone's going to suck. It's like a little bit of a drag. They're looking at those clouds. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're figuring it out. And by the way, there's always one or two absolute studs on every team. Yeah. And my kids not, that was never me. That was not that either. But when they went into the penalty kicks, I was like, is he even going to get picked to shoot the ball? And he was and he tagged it. And I was like, oh, yeah, there we go. Dude, that's awesome. And as cool as you are going to remember that forever and he's going to remember that forever. Oh, yeah, that's an impressionable moment.

You know, I remember like I do a hunting trip with my dad and some of his friends and some of my friends every year. We haven't done the last few years because of COVID and cancer and all that. But we did it for like 15 or 18 years in a row, something crazy. And maybe like 10 years ago, my dad was like, do you remember? And he talked about a specific play I made in baseball where I like really it was a line drive and I jumped off the second base and I snowcoded the ball and caught it to to win the game. And right, I remember that it was like it was like I just won a championship like it was the biggest moment in my life. And I still remember it so vividly. And the fact that my dad also remembered it with like that meant the fucking world to me. I was

like, you remember that, too? And he's like, oh, yeah, that was awesome. I'm like, oh, great. It wasn't just me building up a moment in my head. Sure, I do. Right. Well, why don't you cry about it? Baseball, right? No, he brought it up to me. He was like, you remember when you did and I'm like, I remember that exactly. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah, major. Remember when I took you to the garage and we beer bonked for the first time that fucking rocks? Remember, then I sent you off to middle school. You were really you were prepared for middle school after that. Yeah, you were ready for the sixth grade. Bro, remember that? You took it like a champ, dude. By the way, my wife just walked in with a bag of canes because she heard us talking

about canes. Oh, right after this part, I'm going to get it dipping to some yummy, yummy tins. Wait, just start eating right now. Can we watch? Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to do that to the to the listeners. They add what do they call their tenders? tenders, right? Yeah, I think they just call them tenders. Do they? I thought there was some fun name. Canes sticks. Well, there's like, you could get like the Caniac box, which is like extra. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Caniac box, Caniac mode. I like that. Okay. And I think that's what I was thinking. That's great. That makes sense. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. What else is there besides Caniac? Caniac two. Yeah, candy cane, candy cane. You get a candy coated one, candy cane. Okay. Caniac cop, of course. Yeah,

cane and able. It's a biblical one, cane and able. Oh, okay. Yes, points. I'll give that to you. Hurricane. It's like a blended, blended chicken tender. Yes, points. Go off, Kyle. Adam's going to just look on the internet, but keep going. Is Adam chunking? I think he is chunking. He went to get canes, dude. He's chunking. Oh, there we go. Sorry, I keep, I'm chunking, guys. I'm sorry. Okay. They only have one really fun name. It's the Caniac combo and everything else is just like the three finger combo. Three fingers up your ass. Oh, they call them fingers. Chicken fingers. Chicken fingers. Why, by the way, weird name. Chicken fingers. Because it's shaped like a finger. Why? Why not just call them tenders? It's like buffalo wings. You're like,

is this buffalo? I don't understand. Thank you. Thank you. I've never caught that. What is this? It's a sauce, right? Are these the fingers of the chicken? Yeah, chicken fingers. It's confusing. It is. Yeah, I guess, I guess, yeah, they go, they go fingers. They don't go tenders, which crazy. Well, that makes sense because tenders is, who's got tenders? Do all the other fast foods do tenders? McDonald's does salami. No, well, Burger King, of course, does chicken sticks. No chicken fries. You already broke your resolution. Hey, scrub that, scrub that. Hey, by the way, I'm looking at there in the Los Angeles, San Diego area. Guess how many Canes there are now? There was zero when we talked about it on the pod for

the first time. There are 69. Oh, wow. The best number I hope. And now we can't start our franchise because then it would be 70. And that's not cool. We should have bought the 69. 69, dude! They'd be like, they'd be like, yo, whoa, guys, what are you doing? You're ruining a good thing. You see what we're doing here. Wait, so wait, there's one in Burbank. Where's another close one in SoCal, Los Angeles area? There's a handful down in Orange County. Right. Yeah. But it's crazy. And I think there must be a ton down in San Diego. Wow. Colleges, like near Northridge, probably, like that kind of thing. Is that the route? The Papa John's route? We're franchised. Should we pop up? Deep suburbs, bro. Deep suburbs. Portilloes. We're talking Arcadia.

Portilloes? We're talking Diamond Bar. By the way, after your birthday party, Adam, I went straight to Portilloes and got a milkshake and a hot dog. I love that. I love that for you. I had to. Is Portilloes franchisable? That's like a Chicago Italian beef spot or something? Yeah, exactly. And it is delicious, but I don't know if it would catch on in California in the way those chicken fingers did. I feel like if you open one in Pasadena, it would fly. If you open one in like Thousand Oaks, it would hit. If you open a few down in Morendown, Orange County, it would hit Temecula. Was it just people that, because obviously everyone across the globe loves chicken fingers. Will it just be people that like, that are from Chicago, that miss a little piece of home?

Hopefully not. I think Italian beef is fine. It's good. It's delicious. But when I hear it, I don't go like, oh, I got to get an Italian beef. Yeah. But once you have like six in your system, it stays there and it calls for more. Either you have diarrhea or you don't. But they have everything. They've got the fucking, obviously they got Italian beef, but they got hot dogs, burgers. It's a whole nine yards, but then it has like the specialty items. Right. Isn't it a fat menu? It's a big ass menu. Big menu. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Fat menu, doggy. We need to find one thing. Here's the question. Here is the question. Why isn't there a drive through pizza place? Drive through? Well, there is blaze. Why can't you get a fuck? Is that a drive through blaze?

Isn't drive through? I mean, it's not drive. It's not drive through, but do you want drive through pizza? Why not? Why can't you get a slice like you can on the east coast? Why can't you just drive through and grab a fucking slice? Actually, I think that's a great idea. And we should do that, dude. Drive through pizza. I don't understand why it's not a thing. And you can get a whole, you can get a whole pie if you want. Pizza, pizza. You know, you can get the whole pie. Absolutely. You could. You can call ahead. You can do that. Or you can just get a slice done. Because Kyle, that's the whole thing about beer. You fat bastard. You like to get it delivered. If you're going to go down that road, you just, you're getting it delivered. But I'm just saying

as another option, it's like, okay, I got what you're out and about. You're trying to feed the fam. No, I got fucking canes. I got this. I got to hit the drive through pizza place. Everybody pop a slice. I'm here. I'm here in what Blake is saying. They deliver. Thank you. They deliver. That's their thing. It's tough. That's the whole thing about pizza is it comes to your door. Everything delivers now because of Postmates. So like everything pizza pizza. But the pizza delivers for free. You have to tip. Okay, well, Adam, that's a great point. Since everything gets delivered now, our drive-thrus more empty at this point, like people, because people don't even leave their house. Hey, not Canes. Not Canes. That's right. Not Canes.

I'll tell you that much. They're an anomaly. Oh, what? Are there any takebacks, giveaways, epic slams? Dude, drive through pizza. Happy new year, everybody. Happy new year. Yeah. We're still, we're still debating food talk in 2023. We never really went over resolutions. Blake's, Blake's is an obvious deal. We already broke it. Kyle, mine is wait. Mine is wait. I want to get down to 215. That's it. That's what I wanted. Pizza pizza. Yeah, mine is wait. Again, I am like, the dude is proposing drive through pizzas. This is real. I'm about to eat Canes, but beyond that, he's like, you know, you drive around and you need pizza right then and there, and you can't wait to even have to block your house.

It checks out, baby. Mine is wait, even though I'm about to eat Canes in one minute. Right. Yeah. Yeah, you're waiting to eat. But yeah, I can't do cardio because my groin is still fully fucked up. We below. Dude, it sucks. We below. They won't below. We below the belt. So, uh, so yeah, so for sure, I, I, I want to, I want to get, become more of a slender man. All right, buddy. The YouTube child horror just become a nightmare. Yeah. Yeah. I want to be more like him. This one. Okay. Yep. Hey, you got it.

You know that slender man? Or slender man, like the skinny thing in the background. Yeah. I wish you the best. Yes. That the like, that the like little psycho girls like said that like, they told me to kill my friend. There's some really good YouTube horror. That's what I want to be. That's what I want to be. I wish you the best. Ders. I got none. Ders. I don't do them. Oh, all right. All right. Cool. Okay. Errol, that was another episode. Well, hey, let's buzz into the new year. Now we're talking. Hey, first buzz ball, first buzz ball of the year. Shout out.

Wait, give us another, give us another quote. Yeah, wait. Say something else to the mic. Start over. Say something else, dude. And you're choking that buzz ball down. I can tell you don't like it. Solid gold. Can you do an alt take? This new year. Let's, what would, what I say a long time ago is look behind and keep going forward. Hey, well said. Beer today, bond tomorrow. That was another episode. This is important. This is important. Oh, chili mango got me. Wow.

Hi, I'm Dave Diegelman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with Dave Diegelman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal.

Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington DC. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter.

The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can, sign Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.