This Is Important - Ep 132: Happy Four Twenty (Five)!!!

Episode Date: April 25, 2023

Today, this is what's important: Happy late 420, the guys coolest friend, rollerblading, doing the splits, the octomom, porn star guidance counselors, naked dating, the Tham Luang cave rescue, rated R movies, and more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about

what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about... No, no, no. We must paint the testies. Oh, man, I freaking love Austin Powers. I'm still high from 420, baby. Yo! Tonight, it's Butthole Episode. Here we go. Start your engines. Yo, yo, yo! Happy late 420. That's right, man. We're back and we're doing it big, like a giant, fucked a giant bitch. It had a giant kid. Happy late 420.

Happy for Twizzle a little late. I hope you guys are still stoned. I'm actually coming down. What about you guys? We just starting to come down from the high I was on. This is a 365 trip for me, dude. This is going all the way. Do you remember in high school and shit and also in college when it was like 420 and all the fellow stoners would walk around saying happy holiday? Happy holiday. That was my favorite shit. Drugs make me cool. And then seeing the fucking dorks that don't smoke weed, they got good grades and ended up getting great jobs and are contributing members of society. Be like, what holiday? And you're like, you idiot. Our teachers are allowed to be like stoned now since like,

weed is legal. Can teachers just show up? What do you think? Yeah, Blake, I don't know. What do you think? 100% 100% 100%. I used to have teachers that rolled in smelling like booze all the time. Maybe now they roll in smell like the guy. Do you think that was allowed? That was not allowed. That was not allowed. But I think you can smoke weed before you go. Do you think it's allowed now because it's legal? I would hope so. I think you can. I think you can because it's a medicine. So like, I think you can't. No, you 100% can't. No, 100% I think you can. I know, but you can. Okay, I know. Are you sure about that? Dude, you guys are about to have a thought battle. I'm positive they're not allowing teachers to roll in

stoned. It's a you can do it to after work. I think that's allowed now. Yeah. One before that was not allowed off school premises. Why couldn't you roll in on a couple mils? Like what if it's for like, you could but you can't. It's it's not allowed. I think you can. Yeah, I don't think you'll get in trouble for that. Like I was always high in school. I wasn't allowed to be high in school, but I was. I'm still gonna say that. I didn't thought he was a teacher. He was so high. He's like, yeah, when I was a teacher, I was on drugs. Wait, were you talking about a teacher? We're talking teachers. Teachers. Yeah, I think teachers. We're talking teachers. We are. Wait, teachers wearing t-shirts are allowed to be stoned while teaching.

Right. I think that's okay. Wait, what grade are we talking? Have you guys ever had a student t-shirt? Any t-shirt? No, it's like a kindergarten teacher could be stoned. Or a substitute t-shirt. If you're a substitute, I feel like if you're gonna be stoned, you want to be stoned for the younger grades. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in Billy Madison, the like kindergarten teacher was just a space kid that who was on acid, right? Right. Yeah. It was like face painting or something. Oh yeah, it was like eating glue and shit. Oh no, that was weird. That like scared me. Yeah, she was like painting glue on her face. I remember being like kind of frightened by that scene. Oh really? What's unpacked that, dude? What's up? Blake was really scared of Billy

Madison as a child. It really terrified him. It did have scary parts like the clown, the dead clown. The penguin. Hey, were you really scared of stuff when you were a kid? Did things like really throw you? That penguin in that movie too, wasn't that a little scary too when he started penguin? It was a really scary thing. I kind of thought all that stuff was kind of cool. I was like a little scary. I guess I didn't get the joke. It made me go like, do you hallucinate when you drink? Because obviously I hadn't been drunk yet. And I was like, oh shit, it's about to be on. Give me a few more years. I'm going to be saying penguins. Yeah, they really paint drinking to be really cool. And it's not cool, guys. Drugs are cool. Yeah, no. Well, drugs are allowed if you're

a teacher. Blake, I was just talking to the other day about how you got like blackout on like a Tuesday when he just was trying to have a chill night. What happened? Wait, sorry, I missed that. Blackout? What do you mean? I was just watching basketball. What the hell is he talking about? He might have. Well, it wasn't quite blackout, but it was like, yeah, you know, I wasn't even planning on time went on and Blake was like, and if you're listening right now, Blake is shooting daggers at Adam right now. Cut it out. Wait, who was this? Who said this? I missed that. Our friend Atiba, Atiba Jefferson. Yeah. Atiba Sam. Who listens to the pod. He was throwing you out of the bus dog. He was like, yeah, I was playing on having a chill night and Blake was

like, yo, dude, the basketball game's on. I've never seen Atiba have a chilled night. Yeah, right. Those don't exist. I don't feel like that's a thing. And it's not like he rolls over the Super Soaker 50 full of Yeager. Yeah, I'm not even sure what he's saying because we just watched basketball at a bar. It wasn't like we were freaking rage of hoax. No shots were poured. I'm pissed now. No shots were poured. Well, now I'm kind of let down. Maybe I heard what I wanted to hear. Maybe that's what happened. Yeah, selective hearing. Oh, yeah, I'll tell Blake about this. Oh, shit. Blackout. Yeah. Now fucking take it to the pod. So you didn't hear that, Adam? You just invented this? No, I definitely heard. He said that they went to a bar and he wasn't

really playing on drinking, but I felt like Blake wanted to let the charge. He saw the wild in your eyes. I did, but you know what? It sounds like Atiba might have played it up. He's still trying to seem cool to you, dude. He's like, dude, we went freaking hard as hell. Blake was blackout. You're about to get a phone call and a text now. Like a decade of friendship in and we're still trying to seem cool to each other. That's tight. Dude, Blake got so blackout, dude. It was crazy. That's a cool thing to say about anybody, bro. He's just trying to seem cool to you. Well, Atiba is like a super, Chloe always says that he's like our like coolest friend because he's always a professional photographer. He hangs out with rock stars all the time.

He travels the world. He's a globalist, actually. Yes, he is. So whenever I see him, I always like, I just hold on to a skateboard and I know you do that too, Blake. You have a skateboard just like locked and loaded? Yeah, you just kind of hang on to it. You don't really ever stand on it because I can't, my knees will explode and my hip will just fly out of socket. Just from laying on it. Yeah, just from if my foot gets anywhere near it, my knees will just click. My knees are chunking. My knees just exploded. My knees are chunking. Pop up. Hip tonight. I just have a pair of roller blades that are that are tied together by the shoelaces and I just keep them on my shoulder. Over the shoulder. Yeah.

Can I tell you something, Blake? I shelved that exact thought just now. I was like, hey, jump in here and say, you wear roller blades over your shoulders with the, and I didn't because I'm like, this is their thing. And then you said it. And now I'm remembering you're my son. Hey, man. Dang. You're a pretty cool guy. Yeah. You guys should kiss. Wait. Roller blades over the fucking shoulder. That's right now. That's a sick look. That's a good look. Do you guys ever, if you did roller blade, did you ever have a roller blade? It was like, I'll take your bike and then you would, they would get picked up. So you'd have to ride the bike back home with your roller blades on and

like pedal with the blades on. Well, I've definitely done that before. It wasn't like a friend thing. It was the scenario was a little different. It was a kidnapping. It was a lonely kind of look at me. It was kidnapping a child. No, my friend lived a handful of blocks away, but sounds like a friend. The roller blade there was was perilous. There was a lot of acorns, a lot of gravel on the road. It wasn't great roller bed. Dude. Oh my God. Sure. But in his backyard, he had like a little like mini ramp and then he had like a nice paved area. Fucking sick, bro. Yeah. Yes. So a friend had this. Go ahead. It does sound like a friend thing. It sounds sick as fuck. Sounds like a friend thing. And then I would ride my bike over to his house wearing my

roller blades because we were going to blade when we were there. Right. Right. But you couldn't blade there. I couldn't blade there. Dude, you are opening a deep wrinkle in my brain of like rollerblading high speeds, kind of like going one blade to the other to the other and then ahead of you seeing like a shit ton of like acorns or leaves and being like, okay, I'm going to go through this, but both blades will just stay on the ground and go right and then go back to blading after you get through. Right. That was the way to do it. And just like a you just had to commit. Yeah. Yeah, dude. That's what it's all about. You can't go half ass it because that's when you bail, dude. Right. You could do that. Even if you had a lot of gravel, you'd have to almost

sometimes go into walk mode with your blades on to try and dodge. Yes. So you didn't clip. Right. Yeah. You go real slow or you go, you know what, I'm going to I'm going into the grass. Yes. And I'm just going to high knee. I'm going to high knee it. I loved it. You run. So if there's like two sidewalks and you don't want to go like the long way around, yeah, you would just blade off into the grass, huff it, huff it, huff it, huff it, jump, walk, land, and then you're back on the sidewalk. This is gnar. Dude, are we about to go blading together? Dude, I'd be I think I think my knees might be able to handle a blade. Maybe that's what I do for exercise now. I'm a blader boy enough with the bike. Yeah. During the pandemic, I bought a pair and they're sick. Oh, you already have a

pair. I bought the ones that I had when I grew up off of eBay. Oh, shit. That's fucking sick, dude. You got the same pair. The rollerblade TRS lightning. Yeah, they're fucking sick. We'll post a picture. That's sick. Are they cozy? Are they still cozy? Yeah, they're very warm. Very warm. Good, good. Dude, they're terrible. They make your ankles feel like they're going to snap every second you're in them. They're bad. Well, no, you just got to lace them up. Yeah, you got to tighten them tight, real tight. The boot on the inside, if you got in that in the wrong place, it would dig into your fucking shin and that shit would hurt. It would cut off circulation, actually. Those are the rollerblades with the ratchets,

straps instead of the laces. Those are great. They do have a ratchet at the top. Yes, they're a ratchet, but it's hybrid. Well, they also have laces and you tuck the laces down in between the ratchets and then you... Well, Kyle and I, we were indoor hockey players, so it was all laces, no ratchets. You're thinking of the macro blades. So you guys, you guys were from rich families? What's going on? Indoor hockey? I don't know. Yeah. Were you guys wildly wealthy? What's happening? I don't remember. I remember it being a big deal to play hockey in my household. It's expensive as well. It was expensive and we had to be about it if we were playing it. It wasn't like

you're missing practice. The same exact thing. I was like, I loved rollerblading. I was a real fruit booter as the skateboarders called me and I was like, I'm going to do indoor hockey. And then my mom took me to the place to buy pads and equipment, all the stuff that they said that we needed to buy. And my mom just turned around and we walked right out of there and she said, yeah, perfect. And I was like, oh, we're poor though. You're talking about indoor roller hockey? Roller hockey, yeah. Okay, great. Because you're saying indoor hockey and I'm like... True, true, true. Because you have to buy all the fucking pads. You have to get all these pads and then if you're still growing, you have to buy them every year.

Kyle was growing and Kyle was growing, dude. I was growing. I was growing. He's got me growing. That man was growing. Every year, Kyle... We did it, man. Your parents are rich, bro. Damn. No, I think I was actually going to chime in on that and set the record straight that I think a lot of my paper route money went towards hockey gear. I think I had a budget where they were like, if you want to play hockey, we'll get the bare minimum and that was played against sports. You know, bottom level use shut. This is the way. And your brother also played hockey. Yeah, my brother played all the way through college.

He was the goalie. And he can... Can he still do the splits? He can. I don't... He can? Yes, I know he can. I'd like to see that. Yeah, let's put that on. Hey, remember when we painted your brother's nutsack yellow and then he did the splits and then there's a little yellow dot on the floor of the workaholic sauce? Okay. Now, that night I was blackout. Okay. There's some great pitchers from that night. Wow, epic pitchers from that night. Yeah, because you painted his nuts with your tongue, dude.

Yeah. Yeah, that was... No, no, did you? Nutsack. You were blackout, dude. Yeah, I remember that. Nutsack. Okay, so this is what it was. It's like your brother, we were all very hammered at the workaholic house. Was this pre or during workaholic? It was pre. I think it was like but barely. Like a little before. Barely. Barely, yeah. The inspiration. Like maybe we were shooting the presentation or something, you know, maybe around that time. Yeah.

For anybody who knows Baby Nuch, he's built like a freaking tank, but he's one of the most agile men you'll ever meet. Almost like beasts from the X-Men. You're just surprised at the shit. I feel like that's a newer check. That's consistent with all the newer checks across the board. Kyle, yeah. Yeah, Kyle does have good dexterity. Pick agility. Yeah, I mean, this guy on the pickle court, come on. Yeah, oh man. I'm saying, I'm just saying wait till you see me this weekend, buddy, because I'm about to fuck some shit up.

But Baby Nuch was a goalie in hockey. Like he could do the splits. He was like just, he was dope. He was actually really, really good. But one day, you know, it was years out from him, from us playing together, he was still claiming he could do like the splits proper. Not my bitchy like jazz splits where I took a leg back where I'm cheating. Yeah. Right. I'm glad you said that. We said if you can actually do the splits all the way down, then if we paint your testicles, yell.

Well, first we had to cut a hole. That's how you'll know he like did it properly. It will leave a mark on the floor of your testicles. Like it'll stamp the ground and then we'll have the proof. And who painted it? I did. It seems like a roundabout way to just see his nuts. It wasn't even with a brush. I like finger painted it.

Boy, I imagine you like hearing like little rumblings about how you can do the splits and you just run in from another one. They're like, I have an idea. I'll do it. I have an idea. I have the formula. I know how this can. I know how this can be proven very easily. And they're like, well, we could just use our eyes.

We could. He could just do the split so we could just view it with our eyes and tell. Or we could put like a camera down there. Yeah. Yeah. Or he can just do it in pants. Yeah. And then we could just watch with our eyes and see that he did it.

Well, that's what he ended up doing. And you're like, it's like, no, no, no, we must paint the testicles. He ended up doing it in sweats. He got a pair of old sweats and we cut the hole and pulled his balls right through it. And then that's when he painted. So it wasn't crass like all you guys are thinking. I want to paint the picture properly. It wasn't like new.

Oh no. Yeah. No, this sounds on the open up. It was not crass. Yeah. I know people are out there thinking like. It wasn't crass like everybody. They're gross out there. This is on the level. You know what? I'm going to turn the radio down. This is a little crass for me in the morning when I'm driving into work.

It wasn't bad. Yeah. Right. Oh boy. Oh God. The guys are getting crass again. A nude man. A nude man. It's a gross out pod. He wasn't nude.

He was wearing sweats. We pulled his balls through the sweats. It wasn't crass like you thought. You know that makes it worse, right? It's kind of hot. That's not better. Wait. What do you mean? We're not looking at his wiener.

Also, we could have just gotten an old pair of jeans and pulled his balls through the zipper area and he could have just. Yeah. No. Jeans through the zipper. You want to pull your balls through the zipper? No. And do the splits and jeans.

I take it back. I take it back. I take it back. He's got his take back. He's got his take back. I got my take back. I had to do the sweats. He came out of my mouth.

I'm like, you can't do the splits and jeans. We can't do the splits and jeans. We rock. Well, hey, with that said, we got to circle back to where that comes from. Oh, yeah. With that said, my boy stamped the floor and that yellow paint stayed on the floor

for the rest of the day. Through all of the workaholic seasons, we had a little yellow dot. And why did this never become a teaser for Adam to do the splits and leave the mark? But then like it's super glue and his nut sticks to the ground or something. That is right to sell.

God, don't lamb it. Wow. We need a movie. Yeah, what happened? That's a great one. Hey, man, save it for the cartoon. Dude, save it for that will never happen because Paramount Plus doesn't want anything to do with it.

I do love the idea of like we come up with the idea. We put a little super glue in the paint. Your nuts stick to the thing. We're laughing. You start crying. We feel bad. We go in to help you out. Then our fingers all get stuck to your nuts to the floor.

And then we have to like use our power. By the way, this is a perfect bottle episode. This is the whole episode. This is not just the time. It is. This is good. We have to figure out a way to get the phone from across the hall to then dial with our noses

and call 911. So like we know we have rats, right? 911 fun. Got to cut your finger off. Blake always has treats in his pocket. Yes. We use rats to bring the phone over. Yes.

To nibble the paint. The paint is actually the rat eats the paint. Oh, this is nacho cheese. Yeah, there we go. Or here, in case we didn't want a bottle episode, how about this? It's their super glue on my nuts. I drop low.

Producer hat off. No, I drop low. Like we've already done the bottle episode somewhere in the season. We can go out and about. And it was good. It could be a rom quest. No, this is the one, though.

This is the one. We do a bottle episode. I stamp the nuts. Hey, I'm brainstorming here, Kyle. Why are you being a naysayer, dude? It's OK. Let him. OK, OK.

Hit it, baby. Hit it. Exactly. Come on. Sorry. And so I'm stuck to the floor. It hurts so bad. You guys all help me get up.

My nets are fully stretched out, like a foot and a half. Your nets? OK. I don't know. Did you say nets? And you guys are like, oh, my god. And you think it's going to rip my balls. I rip the floorboard up.

And we're like, oh, my god. You just ripped the floorboard down on this piece of wood stuck to my nets. And I look underneath. There's a treasure map. Treasure map. Yeah, there's a treasure map. There's a treasure map.

Yeah, I'm right. Yeah, there was hitting under the floorboards. And then now it's Arguni's episode. So it's a, wait, what is that? What is that? OK. This is the way. Just to ground it a little so that your nuts aren't

stretching a foot and a half. What if we just, you can't get up. So we decided to saw a hole around so you can just get up with the wood and we can take it to the ER. And then. But because of what we saw, you fall through the floor. And what do we find?

X marks a spot. A door. A treasure map. A treading to. Oh, X marks a spot. A treasure map. Hey guys, I just got off the phone. Paramount's back in.

Yeah. And then there's some kind of tunnel. And we just hear like, uh, like, like I hear you guys. It's like we hear, we hear a sloth. That's Carl. Not a fan. When am I in this? That's Carl, right?

Wow, dude. Carl has been down there. Well, Carl's homies with sloths, I feel. Yeah. I'm down there for sure. Yeah. Not part of the story, but down there. Yeah.

Yeah. You, you sell him. He's like, oh, uh, human growth hormones. That's right. And he's just down there like a deadlifting trash. That's cool. By the way, can we just, can we just circle around? I don't know.

That was a good idea. Goonies and sloth for a moment. Thank you. No. Because, because what I like about, what I like about that movie is it goes, okay, this is a different looking person who to children would be frightening at first, but then the kid who's been picked on a lot himself,

you know, becomes his friend and like gets past the like bizarre face and the ears that can move on their own somehow. Yep. Yep. They share a candy bar. And, and befriends this person and, and shows him love. You couldn't make, you couldn't show that story anymore, right? Because people will be like, no, from the bat,

no one would be scared of a person who's deformed. We wouldn't have that. Because then you'd be a bad person. Or, or you'd be like, you're. Isn't that just fucking, that's just like Phantom of the Opera though, right? I mean. Oh, good Paul Kyle.

Very good Paul. Oh yeah. And I guess it's Leviticus 712, isn't it? Really? Um, this is the story of Cain and Abel. Right. It's Adam, Adam's rib. Yeah.

There are only, now there's only seven stories technically. It's beauty and the beast. But what I'm getting at is we're like post people being able to figure something out like that. It would, people would be offended. Like, why is he scared of this guy with a deformed face? I have a deformed face. People would for sure be offended.

Okay. It would be a hard sell in the room. It'd be a hard sell. Yeah. You're not getting the, you're not getting to make the man in the iron mask anymore. All right. No, wait, what was the one?

Isn't that weird? Isn't that crazy? Wait, what was the one? The Elephant Man. Elephant Man. That is weird. And, or, and what about the mask? Okay, that one was sick.

Okay. Right. Yeah. We can be a joker. Yeah. With Sharon fucking Sam Elliott. No, no. No, not, no.

The one with us sick. Maybe it's called just mask. Mask. It's just mask. Yeah. It's Sharon. It's with the dude with the face that he looks like me. Stoltz.

Yeah. Yeah. Eric Stoltz. Yeah. The one that looks exactly like, like, oh, we almost save on a makeup budget. That's nice. What was the one with Sam Elliott?

Whoa, you already went through makeup, huh? Uh, yeah. Hey, what was the one with Mel Gibson, where Mel Gibson like is in like a, like has a deformed face and like the kids are afraid of him and then like he falls in love with the, with like the neighbor or like their mom. Do you remember that?

No. None of you guys saw that? I really don't know what you're talking about. I do. The man without a face. Okay. The man without a face. Yeah.

The best movie ever. She had no face. Yeah. It was. Born without a face. It was so good. That was a great film. But what are we talking about now?

We're just talking about. Now we're just talking about movies that employ this, this tactic that would not be maybe touched today. That's it. And isn't that weird? Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University.

And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior,

your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning. And now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret.

I scrolled down and that's when I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I got to get out of the house. He's going to find out that I've seen this, he's going to come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed freeway phantom. This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter.

The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to freeway phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Point Gray just, and I retweeted it or Instagramed it,

said that it was five years ago today that Game Over Man came out. Yes, a month ago. Oh, wow. Not 425 exactly, but it was, yeah, it was like. Oh, sure. Yeah. Well, we, you know, we record these at different times, but we'll. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm still high from 420, baby. I was high from 420 last year.

Dude, I hate, it still stands. I'm still high from 420. I'm blacked out. So Point Gray, they're claiming it, huh? That's great. Yeah, dude. Yeah, they, yeah, they are. They're claiming the movie.

They're proud. All right, cool. They're proud of it. Dude, five, five years later, smoke has settled. It's dope. I'm going to repost it and say, what's your favorite part? Probably Adam's dick. Yeah, dude, obviously. Dude, today, it's not the butthole part.

It's not the butthole part. They don't like that part. Donkey! Hey, you know, if we do another movie, I feel like the balls to stay on theme with the one movie that we've done together, I should have at least part of my dick out. And I think maybe the balls on the floor.

Do you think? I just think it should take place on your dick with like ants. Oh, that's a good idea. Or little mites. You know, you're at a picnic and we're little, yes, we're mites. Thank you. Oh, your dick is a place. Yeah.

Your dick is a place. And you know what, his dick is one of the characters. It might be just the backdrop, but it really is one of the characters in the movie. Well, a lot of times the place, yeah, the setting. The setting is a character. That's just, that's just Phantom of the Opera, dude. Now you're dead.

Yeah, dude, that's true. And of course, Leviticus 712. But my dick is fully deformed and the kids don't know how they feel about it. Going back to Leviticus. Right, they're scared. It's chained up at first. And then when it gets loose and gets a little chocolate in,

it comes around. What's wrong with his dick? All of a sudden, they're all of a sudden, they're like, oh, it's a nice dick. Well, that's usually with those. Yeah, actually, it's good. It's ears are winking at us. Yeah, it can make its ears move on its own.

No, those are warts, idiot. It has a Snickers boy. It has a baby Ruth. So this Phantom of the Opera meets Sandlot. I'm in, dude. I'm in, dude. This is really good. With a little, is your dick speaking?

Right. We got to get the ball back from that dick. And it's just barking at them. I like it. Brights itself. It's just a guy who's a sleep on. He's a sleep on his lazy boy, but he always falls asleep without clothes.

And the ball rolls into his living room. Like, oh, fuck. Look at perfect. But is it like other adults or is it children that are like trying to get the ball back? No, it's adults. It has to be adults, obviously. It has to be adults.

Are we still talking? But that's not funny. Why, dude? It's a children's adventure. Yeah, that's not funny. It is funny. It's still funny. Yeah, I don't know if you're getting enough.

It's still funny to me. It has to be. It's still funny to me too. It's okay. It's still funny. You know what? It should take place 10 years ago, and it should be the Octomoms children

when they were like six years old. I don't know how old they are, but like it's the young Octomom octuplets. What are they doing again? Yeah. Remind me who the Octomom is. That's a Marvel character. She's the one who gave birth to eight children at once.

Okay, let's go. Right, right. Big pregnancy. Big, big pregnancy. And that was because of like the weird drugs that they used to go on? Yeah, she was trying to get pregnant. And uh...

Oh, John and Kate plus eight. Legendary. Wait, it was? It was... No, that's not who I'm talking about. I'm talking about Solomon. What's her name? Solomon or something.

Solmain. Solmain. Leviticus. Solomon and Gamora. I don't know her name. Leviticus Hawa. She was hella famous because she had eight babies at once. Oh, Nadja.

Nadja Solmain. Yeah. Okay. Who is this? And the fact that I have space in my brain for that and so many others, I'm like, what's the name of that director I just worked with today? Oh, yeah, the bitch.

Oh, yeah. No, Blake, no. And she does porno. You look her up on Google and it says, it says Nadja Solmain pornographic film actor. That's what she's... What? Yeah, most known as.

But it seems like she should be most known as the octamom. Octamom. I don't know, Adam. You have to revisit her line of work because she was very good. I guess you got a click on that, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess so. Oh, my God.

Octamom is a porn star. I had no idea. Is that the same? I feel like, yeah, she's got to be. That is crazy. And she has, guys, and she has 14 kids. Oh, wow. What the...

Well, when you have eight, when you have eight, you're boosted. That's a boost. What the... Yeah, when one is eight. I guess if you have eight, do you then need to have six more kids? You might as well. Puffy.

Well, that's the math, yeah. Well, like... I don't know. That's some old-school shit. That's like... She was probably going for another eight, dude. Like, because that made her famous and then she had them. And then it's like, can I, like, repeat the treepeat?

Wow, that's true. Fuck it. Yeah, yeah, you're right. How do you... Yeah. How do you care? Isn't it weird that I'm so right? Yeah, no, no, you're right.

She was like, let me repeat the treepeat. How do you parent like 14 children? And she's filming it. And she's filming it. Well, you have to. Obviously. She's filming the attempts. And that's, yeah, that's what is pornographic,

is just her having all these kids. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, she wanted a reality show. Yeah, damn. Yeah. Damn, son. And Lexington Steel is the doctor. To damn.

Oh, my God. I think I know who that is. You know what's cool? That Lexington Steel was kind of like there for us, like our generations, like... He was. He was. Yeah.

Tender, humongous dicks. Can you remember who was that? Oh, he's a porno father. Yes, of course. Porno father. Dude, hey, Blake. Quit acting like you don't know. Blake, stop it.

Come on. Say hey. He was like more... He was basically like Morpheus of porno. I'm playing the voice of the audience. There is a possibility that people listening... Hey, hey, I'm... Just think that's a superhero name.

Hey, dude. I guarantee you 98.5% of our audience knows who Lexington Steel is and might have posters on the wall. Guys, get in the comments. Tell us if you were aware of who this person was before... Just slide in Blake's DMs and say, of course we know.

I stand with Lexington. Oh, no, maybe not. I don't know. I haven't looked at what that dude does in his everything. Probably like a sick artist. Yeah, probably fucking... My guess is he's just cool as shit, but... Wheel.

Wheel. I bet he like finger paints people's balls and says, okay, now you lower down, you make a mark and then we change the color. What is Lexington Steel up to nowadays? Like if you told me he just like owns like a frozen banana stand somewhere and he's just sort of...

He's got the canes. He opened the canes. Smart. He has a chocolate frozen banana stand somewhere and he's like, get it? Yeah, funny, right? Uh-huh. Funny, right?

Uh-huh. And he's like funny because the bananas are smaller. Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah. Funny because the banana's hard. Six inches too small. That's the joke. Yeah, he's funny.

He's funny. Dude, Lexington Steel's so funny. I could probably take him into retirement, man. That would take him into a retirement. That's fine. Yeah. I mean, he's behind the camera now, right? Like he's...

You know, he's too... That's what I worry about is these porn stars. What are they retiring as? You know, what's going on? Like... Like... Well, we know Lexington Steel is owning a frozen banana stand

because it just makes perfect sense. We know that. Yeah. That's great. And is that what you do? You transition behind the camera? You have to. Yeah.

Yeah. You start to direct. You start to create. Yeah. You start to get your vision out there. And then like, who's the guy that was known for... Eaton Earth? You're in the guild, Kyle.

Kyle, you're in the guild. You're the Numbers Gruncher. You tell us. Huh? I met him. I'm not in the guild. Ders, who was the pornographic male actor? I met him once at the gym.

Oh, yeah. Peter North? Yeah. That Peter North poll. Yes, Peter North. You know what I mean? I think... He should own like...

He might be dead. Like a fondue restaurant. He might be dead. Oh, now why a fondue restaurant, Adam? What's... Well, it's because he's known for his amazing amount of ejaculate. Like, he's known for his... Actually, he's a...

Wow. ...Splurge, the delicious drink. What did they call him? They never sent it. Adam's like got great career crossover advice for porn stars. I like this. Yeah, I know what to do. Post-porno, yeah.

I feel like... I don't know if I'd know how to navigate the biz. In a porno star, but I would know what to do as soon as I hung up. What are the name of those things at... The oil. Your spurs. Hung up your spurs. What are the name of those things at school?

The people who tell you what you should do? Shooters. A counselor. A career counselor, career advisor. Yeah, yeah. I think Blake Anderson. That's the official name. Yeah, so Adam's the porno counselor.

Yeah, that would be really cool. Yeah, the guidance counselor, yeah. Well, wait, what? Yeah, guidance counselor. Guidance counselor. Yes, sir. There we go. I like how we were like,

Blake, you're a moron. It's the wrong answer. I knew when you guys were saying it, I was like, that's not clicking as what I was thinking, but guidance counselor. What a cool job. Yeah, because... Yeah, you need to...

But by the way... I mean, yeah, admittedly, that is a cool job. Guidance counselor? Imagine you just... Because you always have to be positive. Yes. Hang on. Sometimes you just meet a kid and you're like,

oh, you're fucked. You're a total idiot. You're kind of mean. Well, come on. You're still got a place in this world. Come on. No, for sure. But then you're like, you need...

Yeah, of course. The world needs dick-ditchers. Yeah. You gotta find it. You lose. Yeah, then you're just like, you have to work in a trash heap somewhere. Right, digging a ditch.

Just pick digging a ditch. Yeah, you're a ditch digger. Do you think in the history of guidance counselors, which is what I knew they were called while you guys were just gabbing on? Uh-huh. Which I totally forgot. Um, wow.

That there was a guy who was like poaching chicks out of high school and was like... Oh, gosh, yours. Of course. Right? Wait, for what? What do you mean? A guy was like, I don't know.

Like, have you ever thought of acting? And then they're like, no, not really. It's like, you're a beautiful young girl. Yeah, you know, you should be a model. And he was like, here's my guy. And then he like, and then he like, sent them to a homie who knew and just... He was like the feeder.

This is the worst. This is the worst. Blake's looking at me like, Blake's looking at me like, obviously, every school. No, Blake's... I'm just saying, if you can come up with the terrible idea about a man in some sort of position of power, yes, it has been abused.

It has. Well, for sure. But why in the news? And if you're listening, please draw a picture of what you think that guy would look like and send it to Blake's DS. Dude, I bet he's kind of hot. I bet he kind of looks like Blake.

Right, young guy. He's got to be cool. Maybe has lines shaved in the side of the head. Yeah, you know, he has long, cool, curly hair. Kind of drops it off to the side. He's got kind of a light mustache that you really have to look at to notice. Yeah, got some small, cool throwback shades.

Like some pretty... Hey, man. Does he wear those yellow lens glasses for looking at computers all day? You know what, you should be... They're like athletic glasses, but it's just clear lenses. You know what, you should work at...

Yeah, lots of throwback stuff. Yeah, he wears like all-over print, Marvel, like all-over print t-shirt, sells them on the side. He's kind of hip. He's got gloves in his bag. I'm going to tell you right now, brother, you're going to work at the water slides.

See ya. There's our guy. Blake Anderson, guidance count. And you've been guided. You've been guided, my boy. But why is it on the news lately? It's all female. It's like all the female.

Why is that? Because that's clickbait. People want to be like, was she hot? Yeah, but is it happening at the same rate with men in schools? Or... No, no, dudes are fucking way more young girls than women are like getting hand jobs

from 16-year-old dudes. What is this podcast? Wait, what did we just transition into? I'm lost. See, I don't know. I honestly, I don't know. Because it hasn't made the news. Adam has pointed out the fact that

it's not news really. In a lot of news stories, there's teachers, female teachers who are getting busted for sleeping with their young students. Nobody wants to hear about some dude molesting a young girl. But people are like, Wolf, was the teacher hot? And is the dude a stud?

Like, there's a totally different dynamic that people look at it with. That's interesting. That is an interesting thing. Yeah, you're probably true. Well, I think... You know what, guys? Like, how jacked is this guy?

Yeah. How cute is the... Hey, fucking fake news. Give me all the news, baby. Donkey! What, you just want to hear terrible? Of course. Of course.

Adam wants unfiltered. I want unfiltered. We need to start our own network. Our own news network. Oh, what? Oh, no, we do not. Oh, no, we do not. What is happening?

This is important. This is... What is happening? Is important. That's not what this is about, buddy. We need to start our own network. This is your guidance counselor. You're the worst guidance counselor ever.

Stick to porn stars, buddy. No, he's good with porn stars going into retirement. Other than that, my fucker has no clue where he's going. Who do you think are the anchors on this thing? Back to you in the studio, Lexington. Yeah. Oh, the porno news. Yeah, that's a good idea.

Damn, I did not see... Dude, I'd get all my news from Lexington Steel. That'd be sick, dude. That'd be so tight. That'd be so cool. This is a wild pivot. He could deliver some really harsh shit and I'd be like, well, all right.

Atmospheric River coming through Los Angeles. It's wetter in LA than insert fucking porno star from the 2000s. Loose butthole. I feel like there was something like on the... Wasn't there like something on the Playboy channel called the Naked News? I have something in my head that's like Naked News. Okay, wasn't there?

Oh, well, that was... That's New York. New York Access Cable, I think, Basic Cable. Well, Avalon was... Our management company was producing something like that when we first signed up with them. That's why we signed the Naked News. Hold up.

Naked News. And I think that was like maybe 80% of why we signed with our management company and have stuck with them for 15 plus years. Bro, they do the Naked News. Do you need any writers on that? It's not really a writing thing. They did the Naked News, dude.

It was a dating show for Playboy, but also Naked, though. So... Yeah, right. That's news to me. Real man of genius. Dude, have you guys... Blake's been looking for that for so long. Have you guys heard about this?

Have you guys heard about the show in Europe that's called Naked Attraction? We're basically like just regular... It's called Naked Attraction. It's... If you can YouTube it, YouTube it. It's crazy. It comes on Wednesday nights, like 9.30.

It's like one person goes out there and they're looking at three boxes. He goes out where? I'm a man! Thank you, Adam. He goes out on... There's one contestant that is going to choose their partner based solely on, first, their dick.

I'm a dude. Oh, wait, what? Yeah. Okay. Well, why aren't we watching this every week, guys? Second, hang on slow. Second, their body. And then how they move it.

So the contestants are in boxes that are blocked. And the front of it comes up, like is revealed to be like, okay, there's their dick. But you can't see their top half of their torso. And the person who's... But you can see their legs. Based on someone's legs, you can probably assume if they're ripped or not.

Okay. No? Yeah, you get a pretty good idea. Chicken legs? Oh, yeah. No, you see their bodies. You see everything. You know what's coming because you got the bottom half,

but they're just staring at their dick or their vagina. And they're staring and they're commenting. Oh, that's hilarious. How close are they allowed to get to it? The close-ups are incredible, dude. And they're like fucking pierced. And they're like, there's all sorts of... How close?

Yummy. The camera. Like, can you see the mites that are trying to paint? Very shaggy. The cameras are fucking there, bro. It's this... Matt Barry and Natasha Dimitriou showed me this and we just spent nights just watching and cracking up.

Oh, yeah. So funny. And cracking up, but also getting a little torqued. Dude, it's wild, man. Just staring at dick close-ups? Yeah. What do you got? What else?

Your boobs are huge. Well, no, they're not great-looking bodies. They're just normal bodies. They're like... Oh, so it's like real sex. HBO real sex where they would show just some regular ass naked people and you're like, oh, well, that's not as fun. Yeah, and they're being judged.

That's refreshing. That's refreshing. I'll keep watching. Oh, I'll keep watching for eight hours. I'll watch this whole marathon. This is kind of gross, but I'm nine, so this works. I think it's naked attraction. If you guys...

Naked attraction. Definitely check it. All right. Well, wait, so they're in a box and that slides up. You can see there's dick. Are there women who are also? You get to see like vagina and then it goes up a little further and you see breast, chest, like muscles, whatever,

and then you finally see the face. Yes, that's right. And then they make their choice. Do they care about the feet? Do they go like close up on the feet? They talk about everything. They are picking apart every part. Yeah, you can turn around, look at their ass.

Yeah, it's... Yes, right. You can check out their butthole. Type one. Butthole. You could ask them. They could show it if they wanted to, I guess. I don't know if you're allowed to.

Adam's in. Adam is sold. So you can. You can see the butthole. You can ask them questions. Like, you could be like, you could be like, show me a little dance. And then there's a part...

Then they turn on music and everybody's like, from the waist down, you see their lower half of their body doing the little fucking shimmy. Yeah. So how does the fucking show end? Yeah. So that's the show? You just pick one?

Yeah, you... How long is the show? Like, 10 minutes? Like... I think right out the gate, I could probably like, yeah, that one's cool. Is it like an American Idol kind of elimination thing? Like, it goes for like 24 episodes?

Yeah, it's an elimination. Yes. It's no... No, no, no. Each episode is standalone. I think there's 15 minutes each. There's like... We narrow these bodies down from 24 to one winner.

There's a bagel. There's like a boy and a girl on each episode, and they do it like that. Tonight, it's Butthole episode. Sign me up. The hammies and the fishes. They never get to meet the person or personality, or like, they don't get to answer a question,

kind of like love connection where they're like... No, I don't think they're talking. I think... I don't... Mr. Romantic up here, huh? They don't get to talk at all. So what if... What if they're just the hottest person...

They're bound. The nicest Butthole, great torso, firm... They're underwater. No knobby knees, great looking feet, and then... Right at you. Yes. Get those knobby knees out of there. And then their face is their gorgeous, just beautiful,

perfectly symmetrical face. And then they talk, and they're like... Great ass! And they just have the worst voice. I mean, that's what it is. Most of the people... Elmo's voice. Yeah, right.

They go on a date, and every episode I saw, like, they were like... And they had a great first date, and then the next thing is like... And then they never went on a date ever again. They fucked... They fucked, and then they never went on a date. Oh, I wonder why. That's pretty good.

What it resulted in every time. It checks out. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, well, maybe also... You know, maybe the person that's being... That is naked up there. Maybe the person who is the one judging. Maybe they're really bad at sex, or maybe they...

Their dick is horrific. Right. Correct. They're just trying to get their SAG card, and they're like... The Rippin' and the Terror. All right. Yeah, I'll do this. This is Europe.

I don't know if it's SAG over there. I feel like this is not Union. Yeah, I feel like this is not a Union show. Yeah, I think this is... This is a BAFTA thing, you know? I don't know. Yeah. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

That sounds even more official. Yeah, honestly. No, I know. That's why I said it. I know. I know. That's why I said it. It's like Shakespearean train.

I like that. These are some theses. Check it out. I'll send you guys some links. It's fucking sick, dude. Dude, send us a lot of links. I'll send you guys some links. Hi, I'm David Eagleman.

I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities.

Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman

on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account

when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house.

He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C.

It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others, when you catch me, if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter.

The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're reaching a point where dating shows

are getting really wild. Did you ever see that one on Netflix where it was like, they made you up like completely like like monsters and you went on a date and you couldn't tell what either one of you looked like. You look like these bizarre. You made like a, is it like the mass singer type monsters where it's plush or is it like?

No, it's more like. A man without a face, it looks very real. Yeah, it's kind of like Mel Gibson. Like melting. No, it's like, it was like prosthetics, like lizard people and like big like, but not plushy like. Their mouths could move and all that. Oh, it was weird.

No, I didn't see that. What was it called? It was like. Dude, and that was on Netflix? Netflix is doing some shit. Beauty in the eye of the beholder or something. Oh, so it's like you can't. Oh, eye of the beholder.

It's probably called eye of the beholder, right? Yeah. That sounds familiar. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That makes sense. Probably isn't called that. We're probably. So what is it?

So you're supposed to be like, and it's like, you base it on how nice they are kind of thing. Their personality because they look so bizarre. And then at the end, they like pull the thing off. And they're like, you're beautiful. You're so ugly. But also, I mean. Sexy beast.

Uh, this doesn't come off. Oh, it's called sexy beast. It's called sexy beast, which is not eye of the beholder, even a little bit. But it's called sexy beast. Nucky grandma. Blake, you were right. Well, how hilarious is it?

Because you think that they're going to cast good looking people who are also very nice kind people. Imagine they like are kind, nice people. And then they pull off their fucking thing. And they're just even worse than what they make up was. And you're like, you wish. Well, yeah. I was going to say.

They tell the people that, okay, they're wearing makeup. And then you pick who you like. And then at the end, the thing is that like it's not makeup. And they are severely deformed. It's not makeup at all. Yes. So they're like, like Jones. Like, here we go.

All right. Take that giant thing off your face. No, I do have a mega mind type skull. Yes. Pull off that pig nose. Take the bald cap off. Are you a redhead? Let's see, sweetie.

All right. No. And that third eye on your forehead. If you could just peel it off. And that's not coming off. And they're like that. And that's not coming off. It's like Austin Powers when he's trying to rip the wig off.

Why won't this thing? Austin. Austin, no. Austin. He's a man, babe. Oh, man. I freaking love Austin Powers. Todd, please make that my intro on the pod please.

Shaggadelic, babe. You want that on your tombstone? Are your kids old enough? Honors. Honors has the oldest children. Yeah. Do you do your kids? Are they old enough to appreciate Austin Powers yet?

No, I don't think so. I think that would go way over their head. I think some of that stuff went over my head and I was fucking 16 when I saw it. Yeah, but that's half the fun of watching that stuff. Very shaggadelic. Well, sure. But like the sexual stuff, it's just how goofy it is.

I feel like they would like how he's talking and like the... Yes. Adam, I just want to remind you that the whole premise is that this is a guy who can't stop fucking things in a time where that's not allowed. Weird wild stuff. Very shaggadelic. And he's talking about how condoms aren't good

and his penis pump is like... So, no, I haven't. But I showed them like bread-eater and super violent things, so I don't know who knows. Yeah, yeah. But I feel like with jokes like that, at least when I was a kid, like even watching like Naked Gun or Ace Ventura

when he gets fucked by the first... He gets the blowjob. Yeah, and the first scene. And you're like, what? Yeah. I didn't know what was happening at all. Yeah, true. That's what I think.

But then there's a scene where he's like, but you were 10 when Ace Ventura came out? I was like 14, no. Ace Ventura was like... No, Ace Ventura was like... No, Ace Ventura, we were in fifth grade, Blake. Yeah, fourth or fifth grade. Yeah, 10, right?

We were 10. Because I was 12. Yeah, fourth or fifth, yeah. And I didn't know what was happening. Hot, hot, hot, hot. I'm not saying you didn't, but like that's still older. Made me like next... I had said this to my wife.

Well, aren't your kids... Aren't they like 9 or 10 now? Almost 10. When they turn 10, floodgates are open. Oh yeah, that's... They can watch whatever the fuck they want. Faces of death. Right.

Lexington Steel. Lexington Steel. Lexington Steel. Have a seat, boys. Fouple South! Make an attraction, all good. But we just watched that documentary about the Thai soccer team.

Those boys who got trapped in the cave. And then got freed. And we watched that last night. I'd already seen it. It's fucking amazing. What is it called? Really? It's called The Rescue.

And it's on Disney. And it's essentially the story of these boys. They went hiking in these caves. And then the rain, monsoon season, showed up a month early. And they got trapped in the cave when it started raining. And the cave system's like miles long, like a couple miles long.

And they're just in there. And so like... And imagine all the Komodo dragons and stuff that are hiding in there. Oh, so many dragons. Adam, there's so many dragons that they don't show. You're like, what's up with that?

But you're always sort of looking at the water and you're like, there's a Komodo dragon lurking somewhere. And that's probably a big part of the movie. Oh, sure. Donkey! I think there's a sequel. There might be a sequel about that. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. That might be the sequel or the prequel. The rescue. But my kids are... The five and nine-year-old are just like, did the boy, did they die? Did they all die? Just tell me if they died.

I don't want to watch it if they die. Yeah, exactly. So we kept them up super late last night watching it because we were just like, we can't send them to bed without them not knowing that the kids survive. And we don't want to tell them. For sure. And they were so anxious watching this movie.

And I was like, did we fuck up? Wow. Just sweating. Wow. No, that's tidy. That's cool. Yeah, yeah. But it's an amazing story.

And they do get all the kids out. Spoiler. Maybe. I don't know. It's going to be weird when, you know, they turn 30 and 28 and they're like, yo, remember when you made us watch that? Right.

Dad, I got arrested. I still remember it very well. What I really wanted to go to bed, and you were like, no, you have to stay up. Right. Watch it. Yeah. That is something that stuck with me for a very long time.

Right. I can only watch Porno in Caves. I don't know. That's not the worst thing. Oh, yeah. OK. All right. Yeah, I guess so.

And the Komodo Dragons. Yeah. I can only watch Komodo Dragon Porno. Kyle, do you remember what I was thinking about watching Porno in a weird place? All right. When we went to the IHOP in a cave. When we went to the IHOP off Wilshire,

when we used to live together back in the day, and there was a man in a car in that little parking lot behind the IHOP of only like five parking spots. OK. Yeah. Using the IHOP's internet and jerking off in his car. Hey. Hey now.

Yeah. Hey, desperate times. As we were like walking past his car, we're like, oh, that guy has fucking pornhub up, and then we just noticed he's cranking down. Was he on? Wake up. Do you remember what kind of device he was on?

Like, did he have a laptop or was he? He had a full laptop. He had a full laptop. Yeah. Hold on. Yeah, he was very forward. He was a forward thinker. He was out there grabbing the internet from the parking lot.

That was the first time I think I saw somebody grab the internet from the parking lot. I thought so too, yeah. That was Steve Jobs testing the prototype of the iPad. And it made me go like, what's happening in this guy's home? Where he, because it was like, he was just a regular, it was like a Camry, you know what I mean? He wasn't like, hey, that ain't regular, bro.

What would tip it off to be like, oh, this guy's sketchy. What car? Like, what do you think? A van of sorts. A van is the first thought. Well, I mean, if it seemed like he was living in the car, it didn't seem like he was living in the car. And not even sketchy.

It'd be like, oh, he has to jerk off here because this is where he lives. This is the way. No, this guy had a home. I don't think he had to. Yeah, we've all been there. I'm still going to say that. I think he was just pioneering something.

I think he was just pioneering in his own mind. Thank you. Thank you. I think that's a pioneer. That's somebody who's out there. Real man of genius. I'd like to think like his in-laws are in town. They're never getting on home.

He's like, he's got a lot of things at home. He's like, I got to get out of here. I got to crank down. Right. Get me to the closest IHOP. He's like, hey, what happened? Damn, man. Maybe the parking wasn't limited.

Maybe that's why he went to the IHOP and had the internet. There you go. He got it. IHOP stands for I have to open my pants. Points. Give him some points. All right.

I'm trying to. I have to. Yes, points. First point of the day. I have to operate my penis. What's worse? What's worse? What's worse?

Yes, points. Incidentally, hands over pink. Any takebacks? Apologies. What was my take back earlier? I wanted to take back pulling the nuts. Pulling nuts. Through the zipper.

Through the zipper. Oh, yeah. Which obviously, I walked that back right away, but I would like to officially take that back. Because kids, don't do that. If you're going to paint your nuts and do the splits in front of your friends, have your, get an old pair of sweatpants,

cut a hole in it. Have your friend pull their nuts out for you and then have your friend named Blake Anderson paint your nuts like yellow. Yeah. Real quick, before we go. Your net sack. Before we go.

Interesting hand job. On Pawnee. From each of you guys, can I get a movie for when my nine-year-old turns 10 and I open the floodgates and I let him watch whatever movie he wants to watch? Can I get three recommendations from each, one from each of you,

that you're like, this is the one that's going to fucking blow his mind? Is yours Austin Powers, Adam? That's going to blow his mind? Well, that, like, he'll be like, oh my god. No. I mean, I, yeah, I, I think he would really enjoy it

because I think it's playful enough that he would like still, it wouldn't be too scary or weird and he wouldn't get most of the sexual stuff anyway. You're going to like my answer, Dirk. I would say Robocop because that's the movie that I watched way too young. Oh god.

Yes. Very shagged yelling. I watched that movie when I was like six or something. I love this. Yeah. And it was just like, there's like a rape in the first like 15 seconds. Is there?

Yeah. Where he shoots through the woman's skirt into the guy's dick. Yeah. Oh yeah. So cool. Oh yeah. Really? It's just like so violent.

Yes. Immediately. Yes. And hypersexual and all the things. And it's like a dystopian future. And you were like. And you're suggesting this. I'm too young to watch this.

Rob. I felt the same way when I saw Predator 2 in the theaters. I was like, this is insane. They were like cutting people's heads off and like, dudes are skinned. That's tight though. Yeah. Isn't it like the samurai scene?

Like in the skyscraper and it's just like some dude like with a katana and doesn't he like cut some dude's stomach open? Yeah. Yeah. It's not, it's not our best. Okay. So Robocop. Terminator 2 was, it did me right.

Seats. And then I went and saw Terminator 1. But it wasn't like crazy because it's like sci-fi. I think it was, it blew my mind in a major fucking way. T2 did. When he slices his hand off and shows the legend. There's so much cool shit in that movie. It's unbelievable.

I would have to show him Terminator before though. No. Not required. I watched it the other way. Terminator 1 is actually. I know he did but I would want to show him Terminator 1. That's going to get you bummed because T2 is way better.

Yeah, it is. No but T1 is fucking, if you're 10. It has Kyle. Kyle's sick. It's got Kyle. Kyle's the best. I know it does have fucking Kyle dude. A man named Kyle.

By the way. It does have Kyle. The name threw it off for me. Like almost ruined the movie. 69, jeans! Okay. I'll go with the first rated R movie I ever saw. You're going to like my answer.

I'm going to get you sucka. It was my first rated R movie and that is a good one. That's right. We were talking about that. Oh wow. That was a good one. Oh my god. Are we going to have,

will you pull up that link I sent you and close out the pod with it? Thank you god. Oh god. What a killer soundtrack. I just watched it the other day and it's, it fucking holds up. Damon Wands, senior. Super duper funny.

Super young. Kadim Hardison. Super young. Super funny. David Allen Greer kills it. Obviously Kenan, the fucking leader of comedy that he was, just took all these hilarious people under his wing and made the fucking best movie. So funny.

And Blake, do you have that? Well, was that pre, was that pre in living color? No, it's not on Apple music for some reason. Yes. Yes. Like super duper pre. I believe it was like several years before in the McCulloch. I don't know if I've ever seen it.

Yeah, I feel like I need to like, when you show your kids that when they turn 10, I'll come over to the crib and watch it. Yeah. Yeah. Ken Adam, I'll watch it with. Jim Brown is in the mix. Bernie Casey is like the like OG like,

it's a spoof on Blacksploitation. Basically it's like airplane, how airplanes spoofed like those disaster movies. This was spoofing Blacksploitations and even had like the guy who played Superfly. Fuck, what is his name? He's in it playing like an old. This is the fucking gym right here. Yeah. So good, dude.

Yeah. K.R.S.1 also has a fucking jam in it. Okay. Oh yeah. Isaac Hayes is in it too. Isaac Hayes. Yep. Chris Rock is in it too.

I didn't know Chris. Chris Rock, of course. Yeah. Chris Rock is in it. Sean Wayans. Dude, this cast is fucking Hawthorne James, bro. So if we leave you guys with anything, it's watch, I'm going to get you sucker.

Sucker. Robocop. I'm going to get you sucker. I'm going to get you suck up Robocop and Kyle, yours is T2. And T2. Yeah, yeah. Dude, your kid's going to be. I feel like you guys just explain like those are the three movies of who I am,

which is weird. Well, that's, you know, maybe. Hey, I think that's why we work well together. Friendship. We're trying to clone you. Kisses, kisses. And that's another episode of... Very shaggy jam.

I'm going to get you sucker. There. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Party. Oh my god.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app,

Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account, when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app,

Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can, sign Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app,

Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.