This Is Important - Ep 174: Live From San Antonio: Selena & Wembanyama Riverwalk Into A Bar

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Live from San Antonio!  Today, this is what's important: The Riverwalk, the Alamo, Thanksgiving traditions, great aunt Hazel, tamales, Victor Wembanyama, car alarms, parenting, shooting guns, Selena, songs the guys jerked off to, hot topics, Q&A, & more.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers, but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York,

since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the IHeart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How to Money. If your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back. Prices, they're still high. And the economy is all over the place.

But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional and make real progress. That's right. Each week, we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues to focus on and the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to How to Money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyankawali. And I'm Hurricane Dabolu.

It's a new year. And on the podcast, Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of IHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important bottom line critical thing happening on this planet.

Today on this is important? Take a little bit of dank, mix it with a little crank and put it in a taco shell. I love a good golden shower. If anyone even smells like Somali, I'll just sniff your hair. Adam, show us how you jerk off. Buckle up. I'm gonna buzz off real quick. Buzz off, baby.

Okay, let's let Blake do his thing. Where's all of our buzzards? What? Spusin, buddy. I'm buzzing. Spicy. Hot, hot, hot, hot. Here we go.

Bopo, bosa! Sir. Give me a hell yeah. Hell yeah. First of all, thank you guys so much for showing up. San Antonio, we didn't know what to expect. These guys got AK-47 drinks, rubber ducky drinks. Let's just talk about the riverwalk the whole damn night.

Hey, what's in the rubber ducky? I went to the riverwalk for lunch. Huge mistake. Yep. Because why? Not sober. Yep. Oh, really?

That's what happened. And would you guys rather I was like sober and gave like a fully dialed podcast for you? Or alternatively showed up drunk and maybe kind of I'm about to phone it in. Yeah. Oh, cool. I don't know if you're going to phone it in, but you might get, you might get canceled. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. When the trunders come in. I do like how encouraging you guys are to be like, don't do your job well. Drink on your job. Well, I didn't go to the. Riverwalk. I didn't go to the riverwalk. And I drove, we drove past it on the way

here, and I was like, look at this fucking magical place. I thought it was like just a basic ass river with a basic ass walk. I don't think a basic ass river with a basic act walk is called a river walk. No, that's exactly what it's called. It's like a

stroll. Dude, every city has a place called the riverwalk and you get there and there's just some fucking ducks. They're like, I guess we feed the ducks. They got Ducks. Yeah, they do have dugs. So what is it? Explain it.

I know you guys are like, I get it. I've been in the Riverwalk, but I've never been. So what is it? It's just like a magical, it's basically Bourbon Street, but it's along a river? First of all, just chill. Yeah, take it. Just chill. You're like, I've never been.

I was in the gym. I'm sorry, it's just a lunch. It's just a lunch spot, riverwalk. There's museums. Oh, Anders? Hey, Anders. Anders. What's in the rubber ducky, man?

What's in that? Now it's beer. before it was a lot of like, I guess, margarita. Oh. One of those margaritas where you're like, you get to hear and you can just, your teeth are starting to tell you like, hey, chill. And are you afraid that you have bitch-ass teeth or?

Are you questions the quality of your teeth? Well, my teeth are not real, but. That's why. It's science. But my gums, my gums are very real. And like, I see a lot of canker so. in my future here. What exactly are canker sores?

Canker sores are like fucking like... That's herpes, right? Yes. I think it is herpes, right? Yes, it is. It's herpes, simplex, it's three. I was going to say syntax too. It's herpes, simplex.

Why? No, it's like, canker soresors are like, when you drink like a lot of like pineapple juice or like acidic stuff, it hurts. And you have like a little like thing. But what, there's a sore, obviously. Why is it, what's the canker? part. What's that part? What's going down? It's like when your grandparents are being all

cancorous. Yeah, they're like, a cankeral. You're like, look at this cancarous-ass-grandpa. Which is, that's code word for racist. Are you saying, like, my grandpa is super cancorous. I would love for you to meet my grandparents. They're just a little sore, a little

cancarus. A little cancarus, if you know what I mean. Yeah, after a couple beers, he gets really cranky. No, that's a different word. That's a different word. You said, crankers. Cancarus is the long version of canc No, no, you're also, also you guys are forgetting. I'm gonna just off myself.

Yeah. There's another word that we're missing called can tankerous. Oh, okay. But I don't know what the fuck it means, and I'm assuming it's in the same world. I think that means like persnickety. For four guys that created a television show, we do not know words. Well, we don't know what they mean. We know how to say a lot of words, but we have no clue what the fuck they mean.

You're a stupid dumbass. You know what, though? like coming here, never been here, fucking sick. Yeah, it rocks. It's a beautiful city. Yeah. And now I understand why people from San Antonio

really puff out their chest about San Antonio. Yeah. Yeah, San Antonio is good. Yeah, they're like, it's good. It's almost too much. But like, when you have like a thing, like the Riverwalk, it makes me want that in Chicago.

or like L.A. Like a thing that everyone goes to to chill. Yeah. And I guess in L.A. you had the beach, but it's so like all the way on one end of the city. Yeah. Okay. That I wish there was something. There's nothing that unifies the downtown district.

There's nothing. I want to riverwalk. Also, they got the Alamo, which is sick. Well, the Alamo. Okay. Okay. One way for us to be legends in San Antonio is if we all get drunk on the river walk tonight.

And then I don't have to be drunk to do this Yeah maybe you get really Drunk or stupid Just really stupid I'm good to do this sober Yeah You can be super hammered

And then we all go take pisses on it Yeah okay Okay Is that people like that's cool Or you guys like respect the fucking alamo Yeah what's the Yeah I was telling these guys

Do you guys like the alamo Or is it kind of like A field trip Well you can't ask that No. You have, hey. No, they gave me that, eh. They said eh.

Well, it's being split about pissing on the, on the, on the Alamo as well. I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bath. See, me pissing, that's not a disrespect, okay? Yeah, that's a sign of, that's a sign of love. For me, it's marking, it's marking territory. Adam's super like golden showers positive. I love a good golden shower. I forgot about that.

Yeah. Well, just now. I'm pissed now. And I'm sorry. And now it's out. And that's one secret that I let out of the, That is, his love language is spicing. Hot, hot, yearn.

I like that. Or even lukewarm, you can leave it out, put it in a bowl. Put it in a bowl. No, dude. You put it in a bowl, let it sit out. Could you fill a plastic duck with it and would you drink it later? Honestly, he could. What the fuck are you talking about?

There's no doubt in my mind. My piss game, I don't piss on many people, but. But my piss game is mad strong. Yeah. Really? I've said this. I've said this on record. to a doctor before.

Because I'll go to a urinal and a public urinal and three other men will come and piss and I'm still pissing and I'm going like, is there something wrong? Okay, dokey. Why is it still going? So here's my question. You know, I'm holding my dick. Like fucking holes

out here. Is this about right? Yeah, I'd say one, 12th of that. Yeah. One 12th, yeah. This man's division is tight. So I'm holding my dick. Let's get hell. a reel tonight.

Okay. I'm ready. I'm ready. So here's my question. When you were younger, hit by a cement truck. In the 90s. And then you had, what's it called? Stones, right?

Kidney stones. Kidney stones. So do you think that you trained your bladder? Because that doesn't feel good, right? You. I've heard that. I've heard that. Very painful.

It hurts a lot. So you probably held your bladder because you're like, I don't want to fucking go piss. It hurts a lot. And maybe your bladder is almost the entire size of your body. Maybe that's why I'm such a beefy-ass dude, you know? Maybe that's why I'm built like a little fucking bowling ball. That's not where I'm going.

That's not what I'm taking this. No, that must be why, dude, why I'm built like a human buzz ball. This is the way. Because Dersh, you're saying his bladder is from here to here. His bladder. You can't get a joke. You need help? Holy shit.

I'm still going to send it. Holy shit. Wee. Yes, points. Fuck John Cena. Holy shit, dude. Fuck John Cena. Dude, I asked, my t-shirt

was kind of fucked up. The other one I wore, so I asked them, I was like, can you get me a medium t-shirt? And then I put this on, and Dersk goes, that's not doing you any favor. It is so tight, dude. Under a jacket, it works. It looks good.

Let's get that jacket back on. We're going to get that. jacket back on. This is a post Thanksgiving Day plump. I mean, yeah. Oh, T-Day. I haven't seen you guys. Okay.

How was Thanksgiving, you guys? How was Thanksgiving? Oh, good. Now, how was yours? Wait, are there any, like, Texas or San Antonio specific Thanksgiving traditions that, like, you're not... Well, you're not going to be able to understand.

Hang on. I think, dude, I think... Does anyone here, like, have one? I think I heard somebody say Frisbee. White cap, white cap. Get a bird. Don't fuck this up. Who cares again?

Mother fucking tamales. Okay. Mother fucking tamales. Well, yo, tamales? Tamales? Is that what you're saying? Dude, we do that on Christmas Eve in my house. We do tamales on Christmas Eve, baby.

Let's fucking go. Turns out wherever there's Mexicans, there's tamales. Dude, they're the fucking best, bro. Fucking delicious, dude. You have a Latin influence in your family. Yes, my wife. My Norwegian grandma was. He's not making tamales.

Marisa. Did you just drop up? Latino flavor. Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah. Kyle, can you do a borat impression for us real quick? My wife.

Yeah. Popoza! Damn, I thought that was going to be points, and I'm like, I need more. Well, you can give them points for something that you said. I want a lot of points. I don't know if that's a points worthy. Ders is fucking us up on points, and it's fucking me up in the head. He is, yeah.

Yeah, well, you just do it. Okay, well, Tamales rock on, we do it on Christmas Eve is when we do it. Okay. Dude. Yeah, get after me. I just had Thanksgiving, and my wife is from Louisiana. Okay. And there's, you know, that's not like super spicy, but a little spice.

And my dad, a little gumbo. Super Midwestern was just like, Jesus Christ. What? Just could. Ooh. Right. Where's the sour cream? Yeah, he was like, Jesus.

Hot, hot, hot. On what? I don't even know. It was like the fucking stuffing had a little kick to it and it wasn't shit. And I'm like, you're such a bitch, dude. Right. Go wait in the car. Yeah.

Why can older gentlemen not handle the spice? What is going on? I don't think it's older gentlemen. Older whites. I think it's gringos. Older whites. Yeah. Older gringos.

No, you got to hit whites. White. Because old whites hate being called old. whites. They are old whites. But you got to be honest, you're old whites. You're old whites. There's no if-ans about it. That's what you are. You're white. You're old whites. And they cannot handle the hot sauce. And guess what?

And it's only because, I mean, if they grew up here, I bet they can handle the hot. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. If they grew up in the south, they can handle the hot. If they grew up in Southern California, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, heat, baby. Absolutely. But you grew up in Omaha, Nebraska, or Waterloo, Iowa where my dad's from. Yeah. Assaulting crackers

a little spicy. Hot, hot, hot. So when you guys see old whites walking around, do you go... You go, that's me someday. Yeah, I go, I go, God, there I am. I'm like,

what do we call it? The end of me? Yeah. No, I say, dude, my nose is going to get all fucking chunky like that. Dude, crazy, like, blood vessels.

What are they? Ginbloss? Whenever I see an old, old, old drunk with like a bulbous nose that's really cracked and wrinkled, I go, there's Blake. Yeah. I think about that too. Why does it get all big? What is up going on

in the nose? It's alcohol? It just goes straight to your nose? That's what they call the gym blossoms. They're not only just the sickest band around. Are they from here? Dude, if you buzz off one too many times, your nose is going to look like a cranberry blast buzz ball.

Oh, okay. So yeah. Blake. My shit is going to be like this. What up, bro? Can I go? Right. You're going to be Rudolph the red nose Anderson. That's kind of a sick workaholics like Christmas movie.

Rudolph the Red Nose Anderson. Well, Blake. It's a bagel. Blake the Red Nose. Rudolph the Red Nose Anderson. What about Rudolph the Red Nose Blake? That's kind of hits pretty good. Okay.

So it's a different reindeer name of way? Oh, because you can't be. Right. I got it now. I see what you're lodging. is I'm a dumb ass. That's cool. I got it.

I was going to give you points, but. No, don't, don't, don't. Blake, the drunk red-nosed reindeer. Oh, that has a ring to it. Yeah, I feel like I'm going to age like a basset hound. I feel like everything's going to droopy. Just start to just melt off my skull. That's already happening to my neck.

I feel it as. Oh, you got a gobbler? Yeah, I can't get rid of it. I don't know what's when I turned my head. Well, you know what happened, Kyle? Yeah. It's like, there it is. It's because you.

recently lost a lot of weight. So I was holding most of my weight in my neck, it turns out. We all talked about it. You're like, look at his fat-ass neck. Yeah, big old, big old chunk of that. And now you've lost it, so you got a little turkey gobbler, and that's perfect for the season.

Fat bastard at the end of Austin Powers. When he holds up his hand, he's eating Subway, and it's like hanging? Yes. Dude, do you guys have family members that when they shake their arms like this, this goes... No. I have, oh, dude, my aunt Hazel, I was pitching the name because my wife and I are expecting our first child.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. And I'm entering the dad life. Daddy, Zaddy. Call me daddy. Just my child, though. Not you guys.

You guys call him daddy. But we're having a boy, so this was kind of a mute point. Yeah, excited. I'm a dude. But I was pitching. Hazel because my great Anne Hazel I loved her to death and my wife was like tell me stories about

Anne Hazel and I'm like oh she was the coolest she used to sit on the table like this playing cards drinking gin chain smoking cigarettes and she had a tuft of her hair that would turn yellow from all the cigarette smoke and she's like maybe another story and I go yeah and then she

her arms were super droopy because she was obese I'm going to And then I would take, she would let me take this skin and press it against my eyes because it felt good as a child. And I would play with it like it's Nickelodeon Gack. And she goes, oh, maybe we don't name her Anne Hazel. Yeah. But when I was hit by the cement truck, when I came to from the accident, because I was in a medically induced coma, when I finally came out of the coma.

Can you go back? So I sit by a cement truck. I was hit by a cement truck, and then I had a bad accident. And then when I came to two, two weeks after the accident, I woke up and I go, Anne Hazel saved me. Really? Why do you think you said that? Why do you think you said that?

Was she alive at that time? I don't know. I was fucking 11. I don't know why I made up lost. But was she alive at that time? No, she had just died. Oh. There we go.

Do you think she gave her life for you? Like, if she hadn't have died, you wouldn't have. gone back. If any woman allows you to press their underarm fat against your young, youthful eyelids? Dude, what if you rewatch the footage and like, you get hit and then all of a sudden there's like this?

What footage? No one, you know how like when you die you get to watch your whole life? Dude, it was 1995. There's cameras everywhere. They're always watching. Yeah, the footage, the footage. Go. And then you like, see you get hit by the cement truck and as you're falling, there's like a blur of a spirit and she just throws her like

fucking. Right. And you're just like, I do kind of wonder who I'm talking to right now. I see that. You in there, Hazel? A little sparkle in my eyes. You in there? She might be. She's here.

We're teasing, but she's flapping her wings around here somewhere. She's the best. We're teasing. Also, like, what, can you just go into detail, like, pressing your face against her skin again? I just want to walk out back first. You have the best arms to do this, too. So bring them up here. I do?

Yeah. Out of the three of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I'm Aunt Hazel. Yeah, that part. That's a good. Fuck off. Fuck off, mate.

You asked me to do it. Let's go to the apron. Let's go. Can we get a spotlight on these guys? Yeah, we're going to need a spotlight right here. Hey, on a scale of me to Aunt Hazel, how am I doing? Am I like, what, 10% of her? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She was a real droopy dog. You can bring us down. You can bring us down. It's here. And then. Oh, what the fuck are you doing, though? Dude, it feels magnificent. Are you, like, dabbing your eyes with my fucking arm?

Dude, I don't know why, but I love doing this as a kid, and it turns out I love doing it now. I'm going to come. Yo, this is fucking wild, man. Kyle, are you flexing? Your armpit, homie? Huh? Are you flexing? No.

Dude, your armpit, homie? Yeah. Smells fucking great, okay? And I know you thought I was going to say something else, but this guy's straight up shower. What's weird is I think I just developed the opposite side of that kink. That's what's weird? I think I want that. I want more faces being dabbed with my skin.

Dude, your wife, I'm sure would love to dab in all your roles. All right. Well, hey, I'm bringing that home. Damn. What are you going to say, baby, wear me like a hood. She just takes her fat and goes. Yeah. He just stands behind her and just,

fucking, uh, I don't, I don't want this. What? You're getting it. Blake, Blake,

Blake, your body fucking sucks, dude. It would never be able to do that. Yeah. Yeah, you're too fucking tight. Take your talk-ass body out of here.

Kyle and I are going to be able to do that someday. Yep. Very soon. Right now, I just did it. Oh, you guys just did it. Wait until Christmas is over.

I'm going to be a real troopy dog. Well, yeah, we're going to, we're going to be the same weight after Christmas. That's going to be cool. I like that. Slam some tamales, baby.

Ooh, dog. I cannot wait for that shit. You know what's crazy, though? Like, you can eat 50 tamales. Yeah. And, like, the fact that you say it like that. You sound white. Like, you're two white.

And you guys know I'm talking about two of them ruined the rest of them because those two are so good. And then you eat the rest of them, you're like, These are just okay. Well, how many tamales do you eat? I eat them all the time. Whenever I go to a restaurant, I go. But those are hot pockets.

Tusha. Points. Okay. Self points. No, but if I go to a restaurant, and you know where I had the greatest tamales in my life because you were there. Yeah, I know. Weiner snitchel.

No. But I've been chasing the taste of that tamale ever since. Where was it? I don't remember. It was when we had a sketch show called The Lemmings that went on tour. And one of the Lemmings guys had us over to his place. And this woman who lived downstairs from him made tamales to the party. It's always a magical tamale lady.

And they were un-fucking believable. And I've been like a crackhead chasing that tamale. It's always a four-foot-11 Mexican woman. That's my wife's grandma who just waddles in, drops a. some tamales on your fucking face and blows your mind. Yes, it's always hard. They can be over five feet. If you see her and she's over five feet, don't. Hit the bricks. Yeah, you're out of here.

Tamale is in her shit. I go for it though. I always, if I see a tamale in the restaurant, I ask the waiter, I'm like, are these any good? Like, what's the deal? And if they say, yeah, I go, all right. And I've never had one that was as good. No, no. I like a sweet tamale. I like a sweet one. If anyone would throw up a tamale for a durs here. If anybody would throw a tamale at us. If anyone even smells like Tamale, I'll just sniff your hair. Hey, you know what?

I'm hard up. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyanko Wali. And I'm Hurricane de Bolu. It's a new year. And on the podcast's Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed?

We talk to experts who share really. Real experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and just start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy. We human beings, all we want is connection.

We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken? But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years' experience,

helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught the name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy and compassion. If you want this to be the year, you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath listen to the mailroom on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your favorite shows new year new goals and in this economy a better money plan is more necessary than ever

i am matt and i'm joel uh we are from the how to money podcast and every week we help you to spend smarter save more and make sense of what's going on out there if you want 2026 to be the year you finally feel in control of your money we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen. Listen to How to Money on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you guys ever have like tamale pie growing up? Is that something that you all had? We didn't have that in Chicago. It was fucking trash now that I've had actual tamales, but it was like just like meat and olives and cheese. That sounds like white people took over. It was very much a white note. No, I agree. I don't like it. Oh, you fuck tomorrow.

No, we're booing you, Kyle. No, no, I'm with them. They're not booing me. I'm with them. Yeah, fuck to Molly Pie. Yeah, yeah. Fuck it. Kyle.

Yeah. We came from the same area. We went to the same school. Do you remember Taco Boats? I do remember Taco Boats. It was the exact same thing. It was just a fucking pile of olives and cheese. Yes, it was.

On like a weird, like a tostada that was curved up like a boat. Aren't you guys? You guys are from California. There's tons of... It was a hard shell, like, boat, like toastata that had been curved up, and then they just poured shit in and shoved it in the oven. It looked like a tortilla that the lunch lady stepped in to make it like kind of... Right, right.

And you know what's crazy? Like, at the meeting where they're like, so these are some of the foods, the old whites in charge, took one bite and they said, ma'am, this is delicious. No, they actually brought, like, real Mexican food, and the old whites in charge were like... That's too spicy. Lock her up.

Hot, hot, hot. Lock her up. Yeah. Can we have French onion soup? We're going to be all sorts of different old whites, aren't we? Yes, we are. Denial. We wanted to do a test for the audience, right?

You want to see if... Oh, if they... Oh, what was it? A participation? Yeah, I'm going to press something, and then we're going to see what happens. Okay. The stars at night, a big and break! Yo.

Good job. I liked that. And by the way, shout out to the House Lyser coming up. Keep in the heart of Texas. They knew what needed to happen. House Lights was like. No, I bet everybody does that. Even when Cherry Seinfeld comes, he's like,

what's the deal with the stars are bright? What? Try it again, dude. Blake. Blake, try it again. We're filming our special. Just do a take two. It's fine.

We're filming our special, we can retake this. It's all good. And I bet you should. And I don't want to. No, no, no. You're Jerry Seinfeld. That means you have to be standing up right here. You're Jerry Seinfeld.

This isn't going to be funny. And yep. Okay. So you are, you're Jerry Seinfeld. He wore his boots, everyone. And then you just have to say, what's the deal with? All right. And quiet on set.

Rolling, sound speeds, and. Right. Camera. I'll be a camera. What's the line? The stars are bright? You have to say, what's the deal? Wait, wait.

What's the deal with? Wait, and... The stars at night are big and bright. Just do that. And action. And what's the deal with the stars at night are big and bright? Yeah, that was okay. I felt you did good.

I felt that they're not a McNugget, then I'm not going to make eat it. I don't even get it. You're done, Jerry. Adam, was that worth it? I don't know what just happened. Yeah. Are you saying that like, every... who comes here does a version

of that and that was the Jerry Seinfeld version? I'm saying the dude was so quick on the trigger it seems like everybody comes out drops that and everybody's like Oh. Right. Like you could say it anywhere. You could be... I'm not going to insult him. I think that no matter where that man

is, he whips out of light and shines it on people when he hears that. And that's not an insult. That's just what he's... The stars at night are big and bright. Did you, oh. I love it. I like it better when Kyle does it, not Jerry Seinfeld.

When Kyle goes like this with his head when he says it. The stars at night are big and bright. Now this is the kind of fun I wanted to have in San Antonio, man. Sweet Texas fun! I came here to have a specific kind of fun, and that's the kind of fun I want to have. Yeah, baby. Call and response. You guys, we got a new segment.

tonight called Riverwalk Talk. And I'm making it up right now. They don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. But so like, pretty much there's no railings on the river. And like... Oh, what the fuck? And so like, hey, so I'm just wondering, like, basically people be going in the river, right?

Yeah. You have to. You have to. You have to. Are there, like, river cops that pull up up on little dingy boats? Like you're walking right here And if you're out with your homies And they're like Fuck you dude You get pushed in the river right?

Yes Yeah It has to happen all the fucking time Is it? It has to See that's what's cool about Texas Is if that were in California There would be a gate over the entire river

20 feet tall Oh yeah There'd be a homeless encampment on top of it Yeah it would be blocking all wildlife From getting into the water Yeah there would just be like a bunch of guys warming their hands over the river. Oh, did you

want to push your friend in here? This is my home. And then there would be a TikToker jumping the fence and going into the water. Driving a Tesla through it. I haven't been there. Is it far drop when you were if you were to fall in? No, it's just

a couple feet. It's just like a fucking river. It's fucking cool. But like, for sure, has anyone here been pushed into it? Four feet. Four feet. So it's half of Victor Wemagnama. Wow.

Yes, points. Yes, points. Yes, points. What do you say? I was talking about the Spurs. Okay, cool, tight, tight, tight, tight, time. Yeah. Are you guys hyped?

It's got to be pretty exciting to have that guy here. To have Victor Wemagnana here, it's got to be pretty sick. And we all have to say his name as fast as we can, Wembenyama. Wemma. Victor Webernaama. Does he have a nickname yet? Wembeny?

That's a bad nickname, Wembe? Wembe. Oh, that's kind of cool. Remember when they're calling Kevin Durantula, and he was like, I actually hate that nickname? That is the coolest nickname of all time. That's really good. Then they upgraded it.

They're like, okay, how about the Slim Reaper? And it was like, oh shit. And he's like, nah, that shit fucking sucks. Wait, what? Yes. This is both Durant? I wish he was pitching nicknames. He was like, what about just like

handsome basketball man? Yeah, and they're like, I don't know. Well, that doesn't ever ring to it. I'd love it if you would just call me nails. And you're like, we're not calling you nails. Yeah, that's a true. Yeah. It has nothing to do with basketball.

Devin Karan. Oh. No. Actually, I like that one. That's funny. Did you see what I did there, though? It's a spoonerism. And I assume this voice is hell of deep.

What, you just took the first letter. It's a spoonerism. It's a spoonerism. Yeah. What the fuck's a spoonerism? We've talked about the spoonerism before, right? You just switch the, like, front letters, a couple words. Okay, so I'm dad on.

Can you guys give us a second? A of mine. Yeah, it's hard to do yours. I'm Nile Kuichick. Right. Kind of fun. I feel like we could do this for another 20 minutes. I'm a lake.

Menderson. Yours doesn't know you work, bro. Yours doesn't work, though. I am a Lake Benderson. Benderson. Alec? Binderson. Oh, a lake.

Yes, okay. How would you pronounce Alec? Alec? Yeah, I was going to say Alec. Well, how do you do Durses? You don't, motherfucker. Tamale, San Antonio. Shut up, bitch.

You don't, mother, okay, while we're on Riverwalk talk. Riverwalk talk coming to you live from San Antonio. I don't know if any of y'all have ever been to Disneyland, but the riverwalk smells exactly like the jungle cruise. Yeah, there's a lot of bird action. What's up with the fucking pigeons?

Oh, dude, what are those fucking birds? Are pigeons? Well, there's pigeons, but there's birds that make noises that are like kind of scary. They sounded like fucking bats. I thought they were fucking bats. They sound like monkeys that, like, will eat your brains. They sound like birds to me. Oh, well, I thought they sound a little bit like bats.

They're bats? Oh, so they are bats. Oh, they fucking are bats? Dude, a level of mystery. Oh, they fucking are bats. A level of mystery has been added to San Antonio. Yeah, I like that. Don't go out like that.

I know what bats sound like, bro. I like bats a lot. Who was San Antonio? Was he cool? Is he down? Was he a good guy? Was he funny? Like, are you saying San Antonio as in the saint?

Yeah. Is that what sand means? Yeah. So if you've heard the Metallica song, enter Sandman. No. Enter Saint Man. No, San Anger. No, this is something we should have looked up before coming to San Antonio.

Yeah, of course. Whenever we go to a city and we do bad history of that city, the whole crowd is like, that's not what it's wrong. Right. Goodbye. I imagine it's a saint. And I'm wondering if, like, him and St. Louis, like, beefed or, like, we're cool. was Francisco like a fucking bitch and what's up and what's up with Diego

what's Diego's involvement in all this Diego was a G and you know that all I want to know is who Diego like started Diego Diego Diego Diego

I don't even know if you're talking about he definitely was like invented the skateboard yeah oh yeah for sure right he was like if you just break off the long part of the cross man it's a long And you take that accent for what you will, you know?

Yeah, yeah. I like that. The long part of the cross. Hey, hey. Did you go? We're talking about mine. A big and breath. Okay, real question.

The whole couple, that couple's leaving, or they're going to fuck in the bathroom. Maybe both. Get it. What just happened? I'm going to come. What just happened? The both of them. left. Well, we talked about my

dead aunt Hazel earlier. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Did you guys have any spirits that stay with you? Do you have any archangels? Does an archangel mean like an evil angel? I think an archangel is evil, right? No, that's like when you get

like a McDonald's hamburger that like Oh, that has two patties in it? When you bite into it, you see the farm it was raised on? Yeah. The cause of diarrhea. I do. I do. have, yeah, I do. I mean,

please tell me about your spirit encounters. My wife's, how did you pronounce that? And can you do it as Borat? My wife's. Okay, great. My wife's. Now I know you're going to be in.

You get him points for that? I'm going to give him points every time he does Borat, so you could rack them up. Oh, shit. What does he say? Does he say, that's nice? Yes, points. When menena.

I think it's just. That's all Kyle knows, is my wife and that's nice. Yeah. And then I'm, like, trying to think of anything else. I don't have any other ones. My men,iana. My maniana. But my wife.

Yes, points. Yo, my wife. Yes, points. I don't have a story that goes beyond this, except my wife's. Yes, points. Grandfather, has, he talks to us through car alarms. It's like an alarm clock. Woo!

Like, like, when he died, when he died. I still love you. It's just like one of those things. I love you. I love you. I'm watching. I love you. I'm watching.

I love you. I never love you. The version that the grandfather's coming back just letting you know like I never liked you. You're my least favorite grandkid. Let her go. Let her go. Is it where we know like the order. that those things come in, though?

Like, I know that after like, me, or, naeer, bann, like, and I don't even know if I've ever heard that in my life.

Dude, there was a bird, there was a bird in my neighborhood that could do that whole car alarm thing. Because when I grew up, I'd do a paper album. Your neighborhood is cool. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, did you grow up in like West Baltimore? I got a redfin. I grew up in, no, Where they shot the wire? Where did you grow up?

Have you seen Jimonji? Dude, that wasn't a bird. That was the neighbor's special kid. Oh, right. Yo, we called him a little bird. Hey, Blake, real quick, for me, because I just didn't understand that. What is special mean?

Blake? It's all I could. I don't know, man. I just want to know because everyone was laughing, so what did that mean to you? To me, it was like their number. one favorite son. To me, that's hilarious.

That's very funny. That's very funny. Like super talented kid. Like super talented kid. Take another sip of your cancel sauce, buddy. I'm laughing already. Now that's some river walk talk, boy. Hey, you...

Dude, when I was in Hawaii, I was where they shot Hunger Games, Mockingbird. Yeah. Mocking J. Mocking J. Okay. And one of the birds, I was on I was on this hike and one of the birds goes,

oh, which I think is the, maybe I'm doing it wrong, but it's the... That wasn't great, but yeah. Give it one more. That's the mocking J sound. Yeah, it's the... Yes. Yeah, it's from the movie, right? Or yes, so they must have heard it and learned it.

Yeah, these birds, man, they're fucking smart, bro. That's why I hate birds, dude. Yeah. Because they're too, you're threatening. Adam hates anything that learns more than him. Absolutely. Violent. It gets crazy. I hate him.

Yeah. He's not going to tolerate it. No, well, birds. Because you can trust him, dude. And they're always up and trees looking down on you, being like, I'm going to shit on you. Right. I'm going to dive bomb your car. Yeah?

That's why I like bats. I like bats better than birds for sure. Okay. Hot. Dude, this is fucking hot talk. Wait, so hang on. Let me just get this straight so like I can like fucking understand. You like bats more than birds?

Dude, I do. I think they're sick. Actually, I saw a video. that cracked me up. I'm gonna go take a shit. Yeah, that's fine. But you know how bats hang upside down and they like stretch their wings and shit?

There's a video floating around where somebody turned that upside down. Okay. And then it looks like they're dancing. They put in like goth. Oh, yeah, that was great. It was like, this is like a goth club in the 80s and it was like...

Yeah. Dude, it was so good. It was so good. And it was set to like Joy Division or something. Right, right. I like that, dude. I know Joy Division. So the grandfather talks to you.

through car alarms and how? He talks to us through car alarms and also anything that has to... Wait, did you say Carl Arms? Car alarms? So do you like tattoos show up on your arms? No, no, no, no, no, no. It just was like right after he died, we had some crazy instances

where the car alarms were going off, and his whole thing was like security. So now... Oh, shit. Yeah, that was his whole thing... Were his initials ADT? His initials were ADT. Yes, points.

Okay, yeah, I'll get some. Yes, points. I bet he's here. I bet he's here. Grandpa Ed, if you're here, Boop-whoop. Turn on the house lights. Boop-whoop.

Holy shit. Come on, turn them on. Holy shit. Wake up. Did you guys fucking see that? The houselights come on? Yeah, we saw that. Did you see that?

Yeah, I saw that. At the same time when I asked the spirit to turn them on. Dude, when my grandmother died in my childhood bedroom, What? Wait! She walked in and saw you beating off and was like... She was like, no grandson of mine should have that small of a cock. Yeah, come down with a sick dust.

No, she was dying. So she moved in with us. And then my mom was like, move your crippled ass out of your bedroom. And you live in the basement now. So now I'm in the basement in a hospital bed. Wait, Adam, around the house at that age, did you do a lot of, like... Dude. Hey, you...

Dude, that's a joke. It's science. Dude, that's a joke, but... Absolutely. That's how I got up and down the stairs. For real? With your arms? Yeah.

Wow. That's why these arms are so fucking jacked, bro. Yeah. Be cool. That's why these arms are so fucking jacked. Hey, durs. Dirst, that was fucking tight, bro. That was tight.

Physical comedy. There's nothing like physical comedy on a podcast. And so if you're listening in Holland. And she died in my childhood bedroom and then it kept reaching up when she was dying and talking to someone in the corner. And then my mom asked who she was talking to. Yeah. And it was like people that have already died. before.

Oh, really? So she, like, she was seeing them. Oh, my God. The night that she passed, it was a ton of, our doorbell kept ringing, and we look out the window and no one's there. Dude, electronics, man. They hold ghosts.

Electronics are where ghosts go, dude. Telling you. I love it. Dude, Adam. This is... Turned out it was my buddy Ryan, just punking us. Yeah, for sure. Well, good job, Ryan. That's really weird. sweet she's like dingna she's still alive you guys she lives in the lights what my mom is

wasted when she's telling us this she's alive she yeah wouldn't you be drunk after folks dry you're like all right i'll crack a few and then you just tell your kids like no we knew she's dead it'd be fucking terrifying if she was still alive nana's in the door bill guys so uh dude that rings that's her ghost kissing you hi i'm dr preoncowalchiwali and i'm hurry It's a new year, and on the podcast's Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that, or am I just depressed?

We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and to start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy. We human beings, all we want is connection. We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone.

Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken? But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years' experience, helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught the name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't.

aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy, as in compassion. If you want this to be the year you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath, listen to the mailroom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. New year, new goals, and in this economy, a better money plan is more necessary than ever.

I am Matt. And I'm Matt. And I'm Joel. We are from the How to Money podcast. And every week, we help you to spend smarter, save more, and make sense of what's going on out there. If you want 2026 to be the year you finally feel in control of your money, we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen. Listen to How to Money on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Now you can really Fuck with kids

Like you could like dress up like a ghost And go on the ring cam And be like whoa I'm here and I'm fucking pissed Because they have Like Because are your kids on the ring cam Well you could be like

Oh my God I just got an alert from my ring cam Right Holy shit it's Aunt Tilly Right Right And she saw what you're doing With your dick in your room

Right Yeah Okay cool Yes It's my dick in my room That's for sure. That was right around the time that I started

I started jerking off, you know? For sure, I was like... Hey, wait. Yes, points! It was in my childhood. Yeah? It was in my childhood bedroom. Yeah, dude, get over on your side.

It was in my childhood bedroom and I was like convinced that my grandma was staring at me. And I loved it. Yeah, did that just shape you? Not your grandma! Shaped your whole sexual experience. Did you say shake your hole?

I said shake, and it just shaked your hole. You ain't never see shit like this, grandma. Yes, points. I just, I'm kind of getting horny, so I gave you points. Okay. I like the idea of parents who don't know how to reprimand or parent their children doing it through spirits and ghosts, though. You know what you could do too?

You could be, like, filming your kids' Littal League game or whatever, and then take that footage and bring it in the computer and just, like, put a ghost in the background. And be like, let's watch. And this is what happens when you fucking strike out, you stupid bitch. Right. Exactly. There's just a Grim Reaper in the outfield.

Wait, I love it. I love it. I love it. Is the Grim Reaper beating off? Yeah. Oh, yeah. All the ghosts are. All the gos are.

For sure. Someone's jacking off, though, right? We're going to make such great parents. What do you mean? We're all parents. We're so deep into the parenting game. Yeah. Well, you're going to make great parents.

I'm going to get better at it. I swear. Because you're not great now. You'll get there. I'm around. I told Kyle about my long con with my kid. Oh, yeah. At the beach.

I'm still going to send it. I live on the beach. He's kind of a weirdo. Orange County. And I buried a... What's your address again? Yeah. I buried a small skeleton in my sand.

Okay. Like an actual human skeleton? No, like an Amazon, like fake plastic skeleton. Adam is a true old white already. He has sand. Dude, and so I've buried this, I buried this in the sand, and when my kid is about, like, eight or nine, and he's acting a fool, I'm going to be like,

you know you had an older brother. Popo Sa! Right? I buried this thing two years. ago just in case. And I'm like, so it's going to look way fucked up and old. Right. Well, yeah, that's going to be almost like 10 or 11 years underground

for this plastic, I want to say, plastic skeleton. I think so. Did you put like a Taylor Swift concert bracelet on his wrist? I should have. I didn't. You can always do it. Time capsule type thing. Adam, you have so much time to go put a bracelet on that skeleton's hand. It doesn't

need to be down there for 10 years. Yeah, but I wanted to look, I wanted to go untouched. Adam, wait, wait. So, hold on. I want to hear the rest of the rudes. So you're saying that you had a kid, are you saying that you murdered that child or they die?

No, no, no. Yeah, that's the whole thing. I murdered him for being naughty. Right. Right. And the younger one will end up in the sand with Oswald as well. Okay. What if the name is?

What if the name is? Well, why don't you set up a couple other things, like have like a frozen cow heart in the freezer and be like, well then that's taking up freezer space you need that it's like you haven't thought of this Blake and it's I'm sorry I should just bury more things in the sand and be like

and you had a sister and you used to have a pet lizard yeah and you know what he didn't eat his green beans either and they're right here and back when I was a kid there was dinosaurs and then just their full dinosaur bones I like that yeah I like that maybe he'd be an archaeologist I like that I do

like that like you do that And then he's 24, like, on his own in the beach in like Santa Barbara and finds just like a flip-flop. And people are like, oh, look, a lost lip-plop. And he's like, this was a person. This person had a life. And everyone's like, yo, Orlando, be cool about it. Well, what's definitely... Orlando Divine, chill, dude.

What's definitely going to happen is I'm going to forget about it. Yeah. And sell the house in 15 years or something. Yeah. And then the next owner is going to be like, you know what? Let's do something with the beach here. And they dig it up and they're like, what the fuck? Right.

Right. And it's going to be on the news. Like they found skeletons. They're going to call in some like archaeologists like Indiana Jones coming in to figure it out. Right. And then somebody from like. And then there's just like an Amazon tag still on it. It's like, oh, whoops.

They're like, this just costs 69 bucks. Oh, shit. Honestly, dude, that is insane that you did that. 69 dudes yeah oh okay hey that's insanely dope right it's wild yeah like that hey i don't know if you guys are running low isaac will you come out here with a refill is and by the way he was so close it's like he fucking knew isa rockies thank you hell yeah hell yeah dude definitely Hey, Isaac, definitely don't bring

Adam a beer. Watch this, Adam. Why you got to do that to me, Isaac? Hey, Adam. What do you do? What the fuck? Where's mine? Isaac, show your tits to the crowd.

Your boots are huge. Your boobs are huge. He did. Isaac, you have that new fresh haircut. Maybe you show them titties. Your boobs are huge. Isaac, are you kind of a nasty dude? Hello.

Very shagaddenic. 69, dudes. But real talk, like full 100% honesty, like... Yeah, because we've been lying about most of this shit. You see a guy carrying this

at the Riverwalk and you beat him up, right? Yeah. Freaking see ya. So, it's right to me, is the Riverwalk like a ton of cool bars or... Ew.

Is there like a lot of cool bars there? Or is it just like... Mostly like ladies, boutiques, where you buy like jade bracelets I went to Casarillo and fucking crushed. Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like a, it's like a tourist trap, but I'm a sucker for that shit.

It seems like a great place to have a bachelor party. Did you get anything? Did you get any shirts or anything like that? I just got this AK-40 fucking seven, bro. You're bearing the headline here, pal. I'm carrying a fucking duck, dude, I'm pretty cool.

I hate to break it to you, Blake. That's an AR-15. Is it my bad, dude? I don't know guns that well. Yeah, Adam's been involved in upwards of six school shootings. Hey, tell you what, I haven't. But I'd be so good at it. Yeah, no, to be, to be honest, this is like, you know, I don't want to joke about this. He's never obviously done a school shooting.

What board buttons do I push for this? What? Hey, Blake, play, boom, bum, bum. You know, what's weird to say, you know, just was because I don't know why you think we have to even joke about this. We can be... Blake, quit joking about school shooting. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. It's kind of weird that you think we need to make light of something so serious. I'm not trying to, man. Blake, it's not funny, dude. And let Anders cancel himself. Yeah, it's very weird. Have a little more to cancel. Last I knew we were doing Riverwalk talking now.

You're into this part of the show. Let's go. Oh, my fucking God. This... No. This episode is going to be 35 minutes long. Once we cut. Once we cut.

Once we cut. Once we get her hands in the edit bag. I promise you, it's going to be brought to you by so many new sponsors that are like, these are the binoculars

you need when you're out at night. Yeah. Just looking at your neighborhood. Do you like black rifle coffee? It's all gun related. Yeah. Yeah. It's that.

Wee. Yeah, I like it too. Is it pretty good? The, like, the flashlights that are like, what military, it's like, do you need a brighter flashlight? And you're like,

Not really. They're like, this one's super bright. You go, all right, well, what's the catch? You buy one, you get 40 free. You go, well, I don't need 40, but if it's going to save the country. But if you tape them all together, then it becomes a laser cannon. Nice. Yes, points.

I'll take them. Yes, points. I feel like San Antonio is a place we could go shoot guns, though. Yeah. I guess, I quit. Dude. I just went and I was, I just, I do a hunted trip with my family and friends in, like, the South Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska border. You don't know.

And we, we hunt pheasant, but my buddy brought this AR-15. Wait, did you say peasants or pheasants? Okay. Yeah. And we line up all these pores. And they put a, a pumpkin on this hill and filled it with tannerite, which is an explosive. And, dude, I fucking pate. You hear everyone who's small dick say, yeah?

Dude, pegs that thing. You got it? How big was the explosion when you hit it? Was it massive? Yeah, it was fucking huge, dude. Did it be sick? It was like a fucking crater in the ground? Did you come?

Tell me. Yeah, a medium-sized crater. And you came? Yeah. I like that. You came pretty hard? It was a Victor Webonyama. Oh, yeah, Victor Webonyama.

Webby. Webby. You love him? So after the big explosion, is it like all these dudes being like... Yes, exactly. Yeah! Exactly. Dude, it's such a good feeling.

And the cool thing about it, and this, I probably couldn't do this if you asked me 100 other times. Everybody took like 10 shots, and then it was my turn, and I pegged it on the first one. Can we see your hand movement one more time for how you shot? Everyone hit it, and then I fucking... And you were like, and then I went like this. Well, you hold it like this. No, but you didn't do that, though. That'd be cool if you said...

Now you're conscious. Now you know. But before you're like... And then I'm like this. I blew it a kiss, and I said, whew. And it went, cabloy, and everyone shrieked. You got me, dude. And we were in Southern Dakota.

I guess is the way. I don't like him. It's okay. He's my least favorite of the four of us. Ders is tough. He's a tough one to deal with sometimes. Sometimes he's got his own a good one tonight. That's the river.

He's doing it. He was on the river walk. He was talking about school shootings a lot. Maybe put a spotlight on him and see what happens. Maybe if we put a spotlight. He's shooting at the Tannerack with an AR-15. He put me on as like, I'm a school shooter and then kind of put that on me. That was rough.

I didn't even have the mic up. And then he gets in my space. I'm trying to tell a story. He gets in my space. I guess I'm also wondering. He's being a fucking dick. Why are he shooting at Tannerack with a semi-aut am-ax? You get it.

Wouldn't he shoot that Tanner-ack with one shot as opposed to many? I don't understand. Yeah, you're a stupid dumbass. Perfect. Is everybody here shooting at Tantor? Anirac with an automatic rifle? Or are you just shooting it with one bullet? Well, it's not automatic, so you pull the trigger and it's one bullet.

You don't have the cool thing that the Vegas shooter had? No, I don't have the cool thing the Vegas shooter had. You don't have the buck stock, dude? Nope. So, Kyle, the other thing I almost bought on the riverwalk was Selena merchandise. Oh, dude! Is she from San Antonio? What did they have?

What did they have? Because I look, I mean. Hell of T-shirts. Yeah, well, you can get those almost anywhere now. Is she from San Antonio? Yeah, Selina. Close enough. She's around the way.

I think she kicked it here a lot and, like, had a store out here or some shit. I stay up and think of you. Go ahead. This is impressive. When I wish on a star. Stand up, we get a spotlight. Spotlight. Well, I love you, well, I love you too, because I'm dreaming of you tonight.

Everybody put their phone. Their flashlight on the phone zone. We'll be holding you tight. Flashlight on your phone. Because there's nowhere in this world I'd rather be. Than here in my room. Dreaming about Kyle

That was so impressive, dude And I didn't realize You had such a beautiful voice Thanks, thanks One more time En Españo, go We La Nocche

All de Grande ball is dreaming Okay No, I can't I'm not gonna putter We literally just We just looked into Kyle's honeymoon When he fucking laid it down

Bro Is that what you were whispering to Marisa? Marisa. But, no, but for real, real talk, that song is when, is from 1994-95-ish. Okay, go off. And, like, that's when I- The best decade, the 90s.

That's when your dick first started working. Exactly. That's when my dick first started. That's when I met my wife. Okay. Hey. Because we were in fifth grade together, and so I would think about her when I, when I heard that song on the radio, dude.

So that's just a moment for love. Not one you heard it on the radio. That's a big love moment right there, you know what I mean? When your dick first started working. My dick first started coming. Sorry, my dick first started coming. Your dick first started coming in fifth grade, dude? Around there.

Whoa, I was way late to the game. When did you start coming? I was seventh grade, and you were a sophomore in college? Wait, you're going to tell me when I started coming? I could tell when your voice dropped a little bit. I had already known you. Me? I.

You were a little. You were a late bloomer, right? Were you seventh, eighth grade? Yeah, but I started coming very early. Oh, really? Do tell. Wait a second. So you're telling me that if I sucked your dick

when you were, let's say, 12, I'd get a mouthful of cum. That's what you're telling me? No, okay. Whoa. Do I need to sing Selena again? I tried to turn it the fuck around. You know what I mean?

Oh, bro. God, damn. No, I just read. Is that what you're saying? I just recall, like, in the early stages of coming. Yeah, the good old day. It would be like... It would be like one crystal Pepsi drop.

One giant sperm. A giant sperm would wriggle out and then, like, flop on the floor for a little bit. And that guy just left. Fuck! Yeah. Fuck. We had you through the... He's like, talking childhood.

Come, I'm out of here! Yeah, no, I can't... What song? when you first started coming really hit home? I think it was like something by Phil Collins. I think I know what it was. I can't dance. I can walk. Wait, Blazer.

The only thing about me is the way I jazz. Blazer. Was it Rod Stewart forever young? No, I think you know what it was, dude. Play it. How about it? Play it, boy. Can we get a spotlight?

Can we get a spotlight on our band here? What is this show? Wait, what? Hey, no one knows. I can feel it. Is that this song? So I would be like, I would, I would. I'll back you all, brother.

So this is you closing the door. Will you get away from me? In your childhood bedroom. Ew, your hair is everywhere. When you were on 12? It was pre-internet. There's no laptop. And of course, I had a BCR.

I had like. We cannot have grown this song. I had like MTV Spring Break. You had like Brooke Burke. Oh my God. Community the beach. Go ahead. Dude,

Watch this guy and I go. This is like in that movie saltburn. This is like E. E. Lorty. You're like the OG Ice Vice. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.

I'm done. I don't want to go there. The fact that. No, wait for the drop. And then I'll be like. Yeah, there it is. Yeah, the goal was always. Wait, why are you?

Why are you fingered your ass? So what? Let the guy go. You were fingering your ass? No, he was scratching. He was scratching. That's an advanced move. The goal was to make it to the drop, but he could never make it to the drums.

No, it turns out the intro is super long. Yeah, but you always came before the drum. You were trying to make it to the drums. Good, good, good, good, good, good. When the hell doesn't even hit? Oh, it's hell along, dude. It's a while. Like you guys would have been watching me get ready to jerk off for upwards of three minutes.

It's a lot of you like setting the lotion in the right place. Yeah, I'm like it's just right. At the beginning of the song, Phil Collins is still in Genesis. It's going to come in like. I literally fast forwarded it one minute and it still hasn't done it. Yeah, dude, that's classically like long. I'll just do it. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.

It is cool that Blake is like a minute later and I can't jizz. Yeah, that's okay. Do you remember? We're at 3.30 out of 5.30. Here we go. And then your mom's like, hey, Blake, you want a ham sandwich? Yeah. Yes.

Hey, Blake, you want a Capri, son, you thirsty in there? Yeah, I'm I'm, uh... I'm coming! I'm coming! If you're listening to the podcast, Blake just had a full body orgasm. And apparently jizzed all over his carpet.

No, it's just one big one. It was a pet snake. Dude, I think my song was, uh, I swear, I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky. Okay. Wow. I'll be there

That made you jizz I swear Isn't that a bunch of guys singing? Yeah, it's all for one Yeah, but they were singing about They're swearing about like the love of a woman Adam show us how you jerk off See, no you don't want to see that

Because it wasn't pretty I had to fuck something So it was Can I sing What are you making us do? I'm gonna come. Hey, whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I was waking your mind. Oh, wow. Turn the lights up. Jesus Christ!

Wait, you're flying. Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, everybody shut. For whatever we think. Because I swear. Kyle! Yeah.

Adams fly is actually open. Well, do you know why? Do you know why? Because a ghost fucking did it, bro. A ghost pulled down his fly. He was actually fucking a ghost right there. Has that been open the whole time, or did your dick just fucking try and burst out?

Dude, it heard all for one, and it did your dick just... Yeah, the ghost came through there and fucking unzipped him. Easy. Blazer. I love that. I love that your parents were just downstairs, like, listening, and they're like,

rearranging his room again? Wait. This guy can't get his day bed in the right place. The boy loves feng shui. I will say that. Blake is coming like a maniac. Adam's fucking his futon like crazy. Blazer, if you can pull up Speed Racer House

remix. First of all, what? Is this only on YouTube? So when you grow up in Chicago in the 90s. Okay. In the 90s. House music was a little bit of a thing. Would this be on YouTube? I don't know, bro. It is definitely not on iTunes.

But basically the breakdown was just like, oh, this is a fun song. And then at a certain point, like a minute and 30 in, Speed Racer and Trixie are fucking. Would it be Speed Racer Remix Alpha Team Dirty Version slash YouTube? Probably. In the 90s. And I'm like eight years old and I'm like, I guess this is.

Well, first we have to get past We got to add for Bambu-A-R. It's AI stuff about how to write your report better for work. Well, should they be a sponsor? You can fast forward to like a minute and a half in. Okay, minute and a half, okay.

I also don't remember this even a little bit. Oh, you would smack it. Yep. The old jackrabbing. I wonder if I wonder if the always sunny in Philadelphia you guys jerk off on couches during their live podcasts. Yeah, I don't know.

Freckin' doubt it. Doubt it, nerds. That being said, this is brought to you by four walls, whiskey. Go out and get yourself a bottle. Bopo, Zah! Hey, Kyle, do we cover what you jerked off to? Well, I think I, like, started with Selena. You know what I mean?

Jerking off to a... That works. It's a little disrespectful, but, yeah, it works. No, you know what it was? Do you know what song I actually jerked off two? We don't. No. It was a boys to men song, dude.

Isn't there a sexual-ass boys-to-men song? On bended knee? It's not on bended knee. It's the one with the sharp as. I'll make love to you like you want me to. And I'll hold you tight, baby, all through the night. I'll make love to you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought we were. I actually think that song did get me fucking really horrible. Yeah. See, basically, any song that it would be like a couple's skate, Jesus. Any song that would be like a couple skate, that's what you were jerking off to.

Yeah, I was into the whole love of it all, dude. I'm still him. I love, love, man. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyankowali. And I'm Hurricane de Bolo. It's a new year. And on the podcast, Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be.

I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and just start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, side and out, healthy. We human beings, all we want is connection. We just want to connect with

each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all. To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years experience, helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught to name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't

emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then, Then there comes empathy as in compassion. If you want this to be the year, you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. New Year, new goals, and in this economy, a better money plan is more necessary than ever. I am Matt.

And I'm Joel. We are from the How to Money podcast. And every week, we help you to spend smarter, save more, and make sense of what's going on out there. If you want 2026 to be the year you finally feel in control of your money, we're here to give you the tools and advice to help you make it happen. Listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Should we do some hot topics? Let's do it, baby. San Antonio Hot. The Stars are to Texas. Damn, y'all rock. Y'all fucking rock. Dude. There we go.

Okay, thank you. Texas mom 33 who pretended to be her 13-year-old daughter at middle school, where she recorded her day is found guilty of criminal trespass and sentenced to six months of probation. Where was her daughter? Do we know where her daughter was? Yeah, probably at home, chilling. Okay. So she, like, poses her seventh grade daughter. Freaking poser.

And she's a 33-year-old woman. I mean, was she just trying to be like a TikTok? It sounds like it was a... I saw a cool picture. She had like a hoodie up with sunglasses on. Oh. She just looked like a unabomber. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. Terrible pig? I would kind of enjoy that. Like to just go to high school for a day as your kid and be like... Wasn't that a Drew Barrymore movie? Yeah. Why is she on probation?

Yet Drew Barrymore is making millions of dollars. Interesting. Okay, Hollywood. Okay. And then the like, the reprimands were just some pretty bitch made. was $700 fine. Okay. And then a hundred hours community service.

Dude, you could get someone to fake ass sign off on that so quickly. Yeah. Did you say six months? Did it say, Yeah, six months, but that's fake, dude. Dude, that's a lot.

Six months? Have you ever gotten probation? And community service? I had to do 40 hours of community service because I had to do a party in my house in high school. So I did do 40 hours of community service. All I did was I pay, I went to my girlfriend's church, and I go, I'm going to build you a cross to put in the front atrium.

And they're like, do it. We're good. I took two by, like two by fours, nailed them together and painted them brown, and then turned it in. It was like, there you go. And they go, how long did this take? And I go, 40 hours. Thank you, God. Nice.

And I starved for 40 days and 40 nights. And they were like, all right, fuck. We don't care. We got this sick-ass cross now. Wait, they said all right. All right, fuck. We don't care. We have a sick-ass cross.

Yeah, it was Pastor Brozarks. Yeah. That church is sick as fuck, dude. It's like, fuck it, whatever. It's always kind of cool to hear about Adam's upbringing exactly the way it happens. It's like, yeah, man, fuck, that's fucking sick, dude. Two-by-four is nailed together.

It's a sick fucking cross. Get out of here, dude. Let's go get some fucking pizza, bro. Keep throwing more parties. But what did, why did the mom go to high school? Was she, like, what was she? probably a weirdo. I think it was a TikTok thing. I think she was trying to get the footy. A YouTube thing.

Yeah. She uploaded it to YouTube. It showed Garcia tanning her skin and dyeing her hair to resemble her then 13-year-old daughter before attending Ann M. Garcia-enrique's middle school. So did she go to be like, did she go to see if she could get away with it? Or did she go to be like, I'm going to go see what they're teaching my daughter?

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, did I just get too real? Are you here right now? Go ahead and stand up. We got a few questions. She's like, math? What the fuck are they teaching them here? This sucks. I don't know. And then she was like, we need better security at our schools.

That's what she was trying to prove. See, that's what I'm saying. Was she going to like prove a point where she's going to be like, I'm going to go see if I can be like my daughter? Because like I'm not old yet, right? Yeah, no. She for sure went to like fuck the quarterback and then she got caught and she's like, security's bad though and that's why I didn't.

I remember the name of the Drew Barrymore movie. It was never been kissed. Right. And that's about her. For sure, she was like, it's my favorite movie. I'm going to relive it. I'm going to go fuck Declan. And was never been kissed about Drew Barrymore going back.

Fucking the quarterback. It was about Drew Barrymore going to find Declan is stuck in his deck. I got to see that. Yeah. Is that your deck? And who's the quarterback? Declan. Probably Freddie Prince Jr.

Okay. Hit me with it. San Antonio Tiny Home Community goes viral on social media. Okay. I evidently they have some tiny homes here. Well, Tiny homes are fucking dope. I knew Kyle was going to be deep into this. I geek out on tiny homes.

You know what I geek out on? Bigger homes. No, but I mean like I do, I think it's cool. I think it's fucking what they do with their space. It's cool for like a tree house for your children to play in. Well, that's why I dig on it. I dig because it's like they're, have like, the way they use their space

is so efficient, okay? Hey, nice. That's why I dig it. I guess I'm kind of like maybe just live in like a home that's not tiny but then like also just like don't make a show

or like news about it. Dude, you should run for office, dude. Like nobody gives a fuck. Just go live in a tiny house and then shut the fuck up. Well, the crazy part about this. Is that like possible? or is there like a bullhorn on the top of every tiny house? That's cool.

It's the Blues Brothers attitude on the tiny house. Yes. I was referring to as the car. Essentially, the tiny homes are just like an apartment. It's a 600 square foot, one-bedroom, two-bath. They're fucking cool. And you're like, yeah, that's an apartment. Yeah, that's cool.

And then it's for $136,000, you've got to buy this tiny house. That's a lot. Yeah, it's kind of a lot. That's a lot. But compared to the bigger houses you speak so fondly of, that's pretty cheap. Yeah, but also, it would be cool if we all moved into one and just fucking did a reality show. I like that.

But that was the workaholics. That's the podcast. That was workaholics. It's just called Big Dudes in a Tiny House. So, for workaholics, we all just had one trailer that we changed in together, and it was like, fucking fine. Yeah, we didn't know on workaholics that you were allowed to have other trailers. We thought all stars of every show just changing the same trailer together for seven years straight. And then weirdly, Ders said before every scene, it's like a tradition to kiss each other.

And we're like, okay. Yeah, Ders was big into that. Yeah. Hey, and it worked. Hit me with it. Okay. So NASA plans to build a subdivision of homes on the moon. Okay.

And it may be sooner than you think. Oh, shit. Thanks, Elon. Allegedly! Yeah, allegedly. Mass is going to build civilian housing on the lunar surface using 3D printing robots within two decades. According to several of the organization scientists. I don't believe this.

Would you retire on the moon? I don't. Yeah, if it was possible, yeah, I might do that. Hell yeah. I would go to the moon. Dude, I can't wait for everyone to move to the moon. and then I finally get to like live somewhere dope. Right.

Like where would you move? Like Florida, dude. My question is, does the moon have a... Yeah, you know how many guns they have in Florida? Nice. Does the moon have a riverwalk, like a made-up, like a cool artificial riverwalk? It's going to have a crater walk. Yeah, dude.

You have the crater walk. I'm in, dude. I'm all the way in. Hey, what do you guys want me to say? Texas. Shut up. Yay. Yes, points.

What have you nerds? Yeah, I don't know. Moving to the moon, like, do they have the Criterion app? What sucks about moving to the moon, like, and being one of the first people to live there, it's going to suck. Yeah, the first crew is going to be that. Yeah, because they're like, it's going to, the infrastructure may compromise of systems, including modern surface habitats, rovers. So that means, like, shrubs. Rovers, meaning, like, shitty little vehicles.

Fucking thing sucks. Capabilities. So what? We all have to be scientists. No thanks. Power generation. Well, you have a generator? We all have generators, motherfucker. And storage.

Who, you got to shed? Great. I don't have anything. You're like, you can collect moon rocks in your storage. I feel like also the first crew that's going to live on the moon is going to be like super nerds. Like, nobody that cool, right? Yeah. No, there'll be like one really cool dude.

Is there? That's like, oh, fuck. Right. Oh, I blew it. Yeah, like, I came way too early. I really thought I was going to be the funniest guy on the moon, but this guy is hilarious. That's the movie. That's cool.

Yeah. There's just, like, nerd who just has a ton of one-liners. They're like, damn. This guy's way smarter than I am. Fucking rules, dude. And his fucking dick is huge. But that's how you measure out funny. How do you know?

How do you know? Hey, wait. Okay. How do you know his dick's so huge? You put him in the fish bowl. We're going to read them. Wait, real quick, Blake, how'd you know the guy's dick is so huge? When we do the, like, defrosting process, it's like,

dick is hell of, like, just out. Oh, right. You're like, wait, it's not, that's defrosted? That's your dick defrosted. That's defrosted. I was frozen. It was cold as fuck in there, dude. Dude, I got out of the, I.

have a coal plunger in my house. And so I was in the coal plunge. I just got out of it. And I'm about to get in the shower. And my wife comes in. And she goes, oh, my God. And I go, why? What's up? And she goes, I've never seen your dick that small. Oh, number. Dude, the head was like barely peeking out of my body. I looked down and it was just like.

Oh, yeah. I kind of like it. I think it's cool. You got to take shelter, you know? Yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, That boy was creeping, creeping, creeping. Did you tell her this is like an evolutionary property? I said, hey, welcome to your two of marriage, babe.

This is your life now. This is my, this is the real size of my dick. The more you explain it, the better. I had a strap on this entire time. That's so funny. And she was like, you only had a strap on of six other inches. You treated your dick like secret boss. You're like, the whole time it was small.

But you already married me. Ha ha. And you said it was for my personality. Yeah. And she was like, well, you had a strap on but like of just a normal size dick. Yeah. Yeah, I did.

Why weren't you hogging out, bro? Should we do some hot, hot Q&A's? I would love that, dude. So you guys got some hot cues. We got some sweet, sweet Ayes. Hot, hot, hot. So Ave asked Kyle. Can you drop the concept?

Friends of Aliens or Friends with Aliens featuring hit single, I'm fucking aliens tonight. Oh, wow. You're very shagging. So, so let's say what it is. This is an album that I made when I, well, it's an album I made when I, like, what, 2006 or something like that? No, I bet it's 2008 or nine.

Yeah, but it's like an album, it's a concept album about a guy who goes to space and he's having trouble on Earth. He's not fucking anybody on Earth. he's not having any luck, so he decides to go to space. Here's the setup is that Blake and I dated roommates. Well, the setup is a story. Blake and I dated roommates, and so we were always gone over at their house, and our house that we shared in was a sad and lonely place.

And we would come home, and Kyle's making music, and we're like, oh, what are you playing, dude? He's like, you guys want to hear the new song? And we're like, sure. And then it's a whole song about him being sad and lonely. and going to outer space, and he meets an alien. And the alien isn't man or woman.

No, it's androgynous. It's androgynous, and it's just an alien. And they fuck. Yeah. I'm fucking aliens tonight, because I'm sad and lonely. Yeah. I'm fucking, but yeah, it's tight.

It's actually a good song, and we were very worried. It's a good album. Yeah. That song, yeah. I think there is actually like 12 songs that exist right now that do take you through a bit of an arc. Drugs and tacos, tacos and drugs. Dude, take a little bit of dank, mix it with a little crank and put it in a taco shell. Mix a little ground.

Oh, I wanted to do it, but whatever. So, Ricky G. asked, who came up with what you... Wait, hang on. Is it ever going to come out? Are you going to drop it? The question was, are you ever going to drop it? Yeah, I still...

I'm learning how to play the whole fucking thing on the piano right now just because it's like, dude, you could just release it the thing you've already recorded. I could. I could. Okay. Then do that. Do that. I just don't think it's there yet. I just don't think it's fully realized yet. It's there.

It's realized. It is. Well, it's almost been 20 years. Yeah, it's realized. I know. It's that thing. It's that thing that I have that I constantly think about. I think it's fine. I think you're good to just release it.

This is like that Dr. Dre album that he's been working on since. Yeah. The one about the. The planets. He did that shit about planets too, bro. You go universal. Ricky G asks. Who came up with, well, you brought the spaghetti. We told you not to bring the spaghetti. What the fuck is that? What's the fuck are you talking about?

I don't know what that means. Ricky G., what's the fuck are you talking about? Actually, I'm going to say, what's his name, Ricky G? Ricky G. I'm going to say Ricky G came up with that. No, that's literally Ricky Gervase. And we want to say, what's up, dude? Ricky Gervase.

That's cool. He came to the show. What is that from? Is that from extras? Is that from the office? I have no clue. So Daniel R. asked, who is someone that y'all would want to work with?

Who would you guys want to work with? Each other. That's it. No one else. Fuck on. Oh. That's sweet. Wesley Snipes, mostly.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be a cool one. That's easy. That's easy. You could say that. That'd be a cool one.

Yeah, I want to kick it with Blade. I would like to work with Goldberg from Mighty Dugs. Okay. And I think that's possible. Because then he became a meth addict. Yeah. What? Yeah, he did.

And then now he's sober again. And I think that'd be a cool, like, come up story. Sure. And the story's going to be like how him and me get off meth together. Wait, are you on meth? Yeah, it's my way. You know how, like, Chris Brad did a movie and he got, like, all buff? This will be my excuse to get really skinny.

Okay. Okay. That's cool. Way, way, skinny. Okay. I think I want to work with Christian Slater. Okay. Yeah.

Perfect. I don't know. I just think so. Is there a reason? I just thought he looked cool back in the day. I think I'd like to work with him at some point in my career. Okay, cool. I get the opportunity to work with a lot of people.

So maybe I will work with Christian. I bet you will. I'd be sick. I would love to do a combo project with like Woody Allen and Mel Gibson. Okay. You know what I mean? Just like get those guys in a room and see what happens, you know? You're a fucking disaster, my guy.

You know, just to see what, you know, you know, just to see. So Savino and Marisa, they ask. Adam and Durs, can you please recreate Sweet 16? I love you all. Okay. Sweet 16 was, I don't know if we could really recreate it, but essentially. Did I yell at you as my daughter? Yeah.

What do you do? Remember you were like, it's my birthday, I want that purse. I'm wearing a wig and I'm a little girl and it's my sweet 16 and I go, Dad, if I don't get that purse, I'm just going to die. No, you say you're going to piss on the bed. I'm going to piss on the bed. And then I'm sure I say something like, well, honey, then I guess you're going to have to go piss on your bed.

And then it cuts to me going, yeah. And I'm pissing on a bed. That was our comedy. The Comedy Central execs saw that, and they were like, we got to give these guys the show. Absolutely. Absolutely. I'm still going to send it.

So Julia would like to know, Adam Devine, how was it going from workaholics to pitch perfect? Okay. And I was like, dude, it's pretty tight bottle. Please unsuff the music. Okay. Check me out. It's getting laid. Making my way over to my favorite place

I gotta get my body moving shake the sweat away A simple melody Wow We'll do a lot Yeah Please don't stop the music Oh

Yo, Durs Fucking rhythm section for that We're getting good at that When you stand up a dance I can't help but just Dude That was fucking awkward Awesome

It was. I mean, doing Pitch Perfect was super fun because, you know, on Workaholics, we had to do everything. So it was like a lot of us thinking. And on that show, on Pitch Perfect, I didn't have to do anything. I just, please just stop your thinking. I just shook my dick around, made a movie. So, uh, Catalina Roll says, The people want points. Please just say, if you were an American gladiators, what would your name be? You say American Gladiator?

If you're an American Gladiator, what would you do? I already live by it's Blazor. Blazers is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, how about, how about, a big earthquake? Yes. Oh, a big earthquake. Wow, yeah, a big earthquake.

Big earthquake. Why not like Rickter scale, first name Rick? Yeah, Rick ter scale. Rikter scale. Rickter scale. No, I think, I'm glad. I think mine's fine. I think big earthquake.

It's big earthquake. This flies on the toe. I mean, that's like a seven-year-old came up with I thinking big earthquake. I know. It made me laugh in my head, so I said it out loud, hoping others would laugh. Dude, fucking you, I'm changing mine to terrible accident.

That's good, too. Mine is too fat for spandex. See, these are good. It's a mouthful. These are good. Ders? Mine is probably going to be

Thor's brother weirdo. It's science. So this person's name is Adam. Brushing your teeth or wiping your butt. You have to give up one. Which one? Fucking why, bitches.

Well, I know exactly what I would do. I know exactly what I would do. I would give up wiping my ass Poor bad. Because I can, I can fucking, I can get into a shower and spread my ass cheeks. I can't get into a shower and fucking brush my molars. Okay.

So that's mine. Okay, here's what I would do. I would say brushing, why are you so pissed? But go ahead. There's going to be times. There's going to be times when you cannot get into a shower. Okay. There will be times.

Yeah. And that is going to be a horrible event. A horrible time. But, bro, your mouth? You would give up brushing your teeth? Here's what I would do is I would. Here we go. But then I would always carry a gang of mouthwash on me.

There you go. Okay. Mouthwash is smart. I didn't think about that. I like that life hack way better than you. He was always just near a shower ready to spread his asshole apart. Yeah, having thought about this for a little bit longer, I think I went the wrong way. Yeah. No, no, Kyle, I'm with you.

I feel like if you get on the right schedule, you're near a shower when you need. mean to be. That's what I was going to say, but they're saying there's going to be times. Hey, you have too many in San Antonio Tamales. Yeah. Say you're at a funeral in San Antonio and you had some tamales and you fucking got to take a duke and there's. I mean, Ders is right.

I'm very scheduled. I guess you can jump in the river. The river walk. That's what's there for. Yeah, they got pools everywhere. Fountains are everywhere. You're right. You're right.

Actually, Adam, I'm with Kyle. I'm going to shit and never wipe my ass ever again. It's also kind of like funnier. Yeah, it is. It's like, look, there's Blake who never wipes his ass and everyone goes, really? But if someone never brushes their teeth, you're like, really? Actually runs. Yeah.

He runs like this. This is how Blake actually runs, which makes me believe you never wipe your ass. It is interesting. Because this is how Blake runs. But that's because that's how he eats his pants up, dude. That's because he's from the bay. Yeah, because he's too much ducky, dog. And I would love to run, but I'm wearing cowboy boots, and I literally don't know how to run in these motherfuckers.

And I took to run. them into my jeans, so am I, like, the biggest, like, Texas kook in the world, or what? Yeah. Yeah. So Ryan Reyes, hello, amigos. Congrats, Adam, on becoming a father. What is the thing you look forward to the most? Punking my child and making him believe he had a dead older brother.

Yeah. Y' sir. And, guys, what has been the most rewarding experience of fatherhood? And if you don't say punking your child, you're a bitch, dude. It's the pranks. It's all the pranks. It's all the punks. It's really fun.

Dude, I had a really rewarding experience the other day. day when we went down to visit you. And my son was like, my son's into drawing and my son was like, teach me something cool. And Adam was there and he fucking pulled out the cool S from the 70s. The Stozy S. That's the Stozy S? I don't know if it was from the 70s. I think that's 90s, bro.

I know it has a Stozy S too. I did do some research and it's not a Stucie S. That is a Mandela thing. What the hell? It's not a Stucie Soutre at all. Boundella. I'm kiss now. It's a Mandela effect.

That line, line, line, line, connect, connect. Top, top, bottom. Is not from Stucie at all. I know. I was doing, well, as the elder of the crew, I was definitely doing that before Stucy existed, for sure. It's from the 70s. It's called a cool S.

Wait, so wait. Wait, did your son draw that and then you fucking rolled this story out for it? Stucy put it on shirts, though. So he told a boring story because his son drew a cool ass. after I showed him how to draw the coolest. The next day, though, he did it all by himself, and I was so fucking proud. That's you.

I love that. I love that. I love that. We used to do that for, like, if you drew, like, a, like, a superhero character with had, like, braids or whatever, you would just do that for, like, the braid of the hair. Oh, interesting.

Because they can keep going forever, dude. Did you know that? Yeah, try it when you get home. I will say, like, a rewarding moment. I was saying to the guys earlier, my kids watched Best in Show the other night. And at the very end of the movie, there's a couple that's like in therapy,

and they're like, we're glad we got rid of the other dog, and now we've got a new dog. And the therapist looks down at his leg, and the dog is humping his leg. And my kid goes, like, what's the dog doing? And I go, the dog is trying to have sex with his leg. And my son lost his mind. Dude.

And laughed so hard and, like, grabbed a pillow and, like, put it over his face. And I was, like, perfect. And then I held it on his face. I knew. And I said, if he died now, it's a perfect death. It's funny. And he can go. I think that is what's going to be their most rewarding thing, though, is them laughing at something that you actually find funny.

Right. Like, the first time that you say 69, and they go, ha. Right. You're like, you dog. Oh, yeah. You dirt dog. I'm a good dad. You know what?

I am a good dad. I am a good dad. What hotel room are we staying in? 420 and they're like, oh shit. You give a little wink? Wait a minute. I've done okay, haven't I, honey? I do think I need to chill on like the winks to my kids about things that are funny.

I'm like, and they're like, don't do that. Yeah. Well, guys, any takebacks, any apologies, any epic slams? You know, the school shooter stuff. Well, you're doubling down on that or you're taking that back? No, what I was going to say is like if we could just circle back. Yeah. That's what I thought.

Are we doing takebacks and circlebacks? Yeah, you can. Circlebacks. Yeah. Take back's apologies and circle backs. I just want to do one circle back. Yeah, that makes sense. To apologize.

Okay, that's big of you. I want to take back my Jerry Seinfeld impression. You guys made me do it. It wasn't. Made you do it. Yeah, like I. It was definitely out of nowhere. No, no, I did something.

And then you're like, oh, fucking put the spotlight. And I'm like, I don't want to. Hey, so is it a takeback or is it an epic slam on us making you do it? Yes, epic slam to you guys for me fucking not being good at that. What? Epic slam us for that. But I want to double down on everybody watching me jerk off as a young kid. Yeah.

Nice. Good. I would like to double down on me fucking the couch into oblivion, dude. And now you see a little take. of what it's like in my bedroom. Bopo, so! And I guess for like a Spotify YouTube recommendation, like go ahead and listen to that Speed Racer House remix

on your way home tonight. And guys and girls on date night, I'm not saying it's going to like get you there, but it's going to get you close. Okay. It'll get you somewhere. Okay. Probably not there, though. It's going to get you, you might not get you there,

but it's going to be like... Actually, I'm going to go. Actually, I'm going to jump out of your moving car. Kyle? Maybe I'll do like a seasonal summation. Okay, I like this. And just stay in the spirit of Thanksgiving. I'm very thankful to be up here doing this with you guys.

I'm very... That's really nice. That's really nice. Yeah, this is the first show back from Thanksgiving. It's going to air in Thanksgiving. five years. It's okay. I'm very thankful for everyone that showed up tonight. That's why I'm sick.

Yeah. Absolutely. And I ate turkey on Thanksgiving. I'm sorry. Adam says it's going to come out. Oh. You ate turkey? Wow. And I will apologize for eating turkey on Thanksgiving.

Yeah, and shout out to everybody. We're seeing your little Spotify like re-tweets to us. Yes. Thanks for listening to the Thank you guys for following. We love y'all. It says that our audience has grown by 30% this year. That's pretty fucking big.

Yeah, yeah. A lot of big one percenters out there. And the fact that anyone listens to our podcast that much is... Super dope. Well, first of all, get a life. Yeah. But it does. It means a lot to us.

And thank you guys for listening. We really appreciate you guys. And thank you, San Antonio. We got some epic giveaways right here. Let me get a couple of those. Stop! You guys, you guys. This has been a blast.

Thank you for coming out. Thank you so much. This is another episode. This is important. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers. But it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him?

I'm Josh Zeman. And this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York, since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Joel and Matt from How To Money, if your New Year's resolution is to finally get your finances in shape, we've got your back.

Prices, they're still high, and the economy is all over the place. But 2026 is the year for you to get intentional, and make real progress. That's right. Each week we break down what's happening with your money, the most important issues

to focus on and the small moves that make a big difference. Kick off the year with confidence. Listen to how to money on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Dr. Priyankawali. And I'm Hurricane de Bolu. It's a new year. And on the podcast, health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know,

what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep. in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.

Guaranteed human.