This Is Important - Ep 174: Selena & Wembanyama Riverwalk Into A Bar

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Live from San Antonio!  Today, this is what's important: The Riverwalk, the Alamo, Thanksgiving traditions, great aunt Hazel, tamales, Victor Wembanyama, car alarms, parenting, shooting guns, Selena, songs the guys jerked off to, hot topics, Q&A, & more.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm Daniel Tosh, host of new podcast called Tosh Show. I'll be interviewing people that I find interesting, so not celebrities. And certainly not comedians. We'll be covering topics like religion, travel, sports, gambling. But mostly, it will be about being a working mother. If you're looking for a podcast that will educate and inspire, or one that will really make you think, this isn't the one for you. Listen to Tosh Show in the i I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast,

or wherever you get your podcasts. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history. That's Rob Breiner, Rob called me, so would Ed O'Brien and asked me what I knew about this crime. Well, ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president? Then we'll pull the curtain back on the cover-up.

The American people need to know the truth. Listen to Who Killed JFK on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On March 16, 2000, two sheriff's deputies were shot in Atlanta. A Muslim leader and former Black Power activist was convicted. But the evidence was shaky, and the whole truth didn't come out during the trial. My name is Mosey Secret, and when I started investigating this case in my hometown, I uncovered

a dark truth about America. From Tinder for TV, Camside Media, and I Heart Podcasts, Radical is available now. Listen to the new podcast Radical, for free on the I Heart Radio app, Heart Podcasts, Radical is available now. Listen to the new podcast Radical for free on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This is Important, a production of I Heart Radio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This Is Morning. Take a little bit of dank, mix it with a little crank, and put it in a taco shell.

I love a good golden shower. If anyone even smells like Smiley, I'll just sniff your hair. Adam, show us how you jerk off. Buckle up. I got a buzz off real quick. Buzz off, baby! Okay, let's split through this thing. Let's go for you! Where's all of our buzzards?

A buzzard? Spies in, buddy. a Buzzy buddy I'm Spicy hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot here we go Sir Give me a hell yeah hell yeah. Oh my god thank you God First of all, thank you guys so much for showing up San Antonio. We didn't know what to expect. Yeah Ever here we're having a great time These guys got AK-47 drinks rubber ducky drinks. Let's just let's just talk about the river walk the whole damn night. Hey, what's in the rub

What's in the rubber ducky? I went to the river walk for lunch huge mistake. Yep Because why not sober? Yeah, oh really? That's what happened and would you guys rather I was like sober and gave like a fully Dial podcast for you or I was like sober and gave like a fully dialed podcast for you or Alternately showed up drunk and maybe kind of about to phone it in yeah In but you might get you might get canceled I do like how encouraging you guys are to be like don't do your job well drink on your job Well, I didn't go to the river walk I didn't go to the river walk and I drove we drove past it on the way here And I was like look at this fucking magical place. I didn't I thought it was like just a basic-ass

river With a basic-ass walk. I don't think a basic-ass river with a basic-ass Walk is called a river walk Exactly what it's like a stroll. It's like a stroll Every city has a place called the river walk and you get there and there's just some fucking ducks Like I guess we feed the ducks Yeah, they do have ducks. Yeah, so what is it explain it? I mean I know you guys are like I get it I've been in the river walk, but I've never been so what is it? explain it, I know you guys are like, I get it, I've been in the rubber band, but I've never been.

So what is it, it's just like a magical, it's basically bourbon, but it's all in the rubber band. First of all, just chill. Yeah, take it. Just chill, you're like, I've never been. I was in the gym. Yes, now. I'm sorry, there.

It's just a lunch, it's just a lunch spot, River Walk, there's museums. Onters. There's a lot of fun. Hey, onters, onters. What's in the rubber ducky, man? What's in that? Now it's museum. Onters. There's- They onters. Onters. What's in the rubber ducky, man? What's in that? Now it's beer.

Before it was a lot of like, I guess, margarita. Oh. Oh. One of those margaritas where you're like, you get to hear and you can just, your teeth are starting to tell you like, hey, chill. And are you afraid that you have bitch-ass teeth?

Or are you a teeth or have bitch-ass teeth or? I, I, I, my teeth are in the quality of your teeth. My teeth are not real, but that's why I'm. It's science. But, my, my gums, my gums are very real. And like, I see a lot of canker sores in my future here. Canker sores. See, exactly are canker sores.

Canker sores are like fucking like, that's herpes, right? Yes, it is it's herpes simplex Three it's a sentence to it's herpes simplex why No hurt. It's like Canker sores are like when you drink like a lot of like pineapple juice or like acidic stuff It hurts and you have like a little like thing. But what, it's a sore, obviously. Why is it, what's the canker part? What's that part?

What's going down? It's like when your grandparents are being all cankerous. Yeah, they're like a cankerous. You're like, look at this cankerous-ass grandpa. Are you trying to say this? Which is that's code word for racist. Are you saying, my grandpa is super cankerous. I would love for you to meet my grandparents.

They're just a little sore, a little kang-carrous. A little kang-carrous, if you know what I mean. Yeah, after a couple beers, he gets really cranky. No, that's what I thought of. That's a different word. You say, cranky. Cancarrous is the long version of cancarrous. No, no, you're not.

Also, you guys are forgetting. I'm going to just off myself. Yeah. There's another word that we're missing called can tankerists. Oh, can tankerists. But I don't know what the fuck it means. I'm assuming it's a word. I think that means like, Chris Nickety.

For four guys that created a television show, we do not know words. Well, we don't know what they mean. We know how to say a lot of words, but we have no clue what the fuck they mean. You're a stupid dumbass. You know what though? Like, coming here, never been here, fucking sick. Yeah, it rocks.

It's a beautiful city. Yeah. And rock. And now I understand why people from San Antonio really puff out their chest about San Antonio. Yeah, San Antonio is good. Yeah, they're like, it's good. It's almost too much. But like, when you have like a thing like the River Walk,

it makes me want that in Chicago or like L.A. Like a thing that everyone goes to to chill. And I guess in L.A. you had the beach, but it's so like all the way on one end of the city. Yeah, that I wish there was something like nothing that that unifies the downtown district. There's nothing. I want to.

Also, they got the Alamo, which is sick. Well, the Alamo. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. One way, one way for us to be legends in San Antonio is if we all get drunk on the river walk tonight and then I don't have to be drunk to do this yeah maybe you get really

drunk is stupid is really stupid yes to do this so far yeah you can be super really high and then we all go take pisses on it yeah okay okay people like that's cool or you guys like respect the fucking Alamo? Yeah, what's the, yeah. I was telling these guys, do you guys like the Alamo, or is it kind of like, ahhh, field trip? Well, you can't ask that.

Yeah, no. No, they gave me the ahhh, they said ahhh. Well, it's being split about pissing on the Alamo as well. I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I don't want to see me pissing. That's not a disrespect, okay? Yeah, that's a sign of love. For me, it's marking, it's marking territory. I forgot. Adam's super like Golden Showers positive.

I love a good Golden Shower. I forgot about that. Yeah, and I'm sorry. And now it's out. And that's one secret that I let out of the game. But that is his love languages. Is pissing. Hot, your, yeah. I like that. Or even lukewarm. You can leave it out, put it in a bowl.

Put it in a bowl. No, dude. You put it in a bowl. Let us sit out. Could you fill a plastic duck with it and would you drink it later? Honestly, he could. What the fuck are you talking about? There's no doubt in my mind. My piss game, I don't piss on many people, but my piss game is mad strong.

I've said this. I've said the ungracquered. I've actually went to a doctor before, because I'll go to a urinal and a public urinal, and three other men will come and piss. And I'm still pissing. And I'm like, going, like, is there something wrong? Bucky dogguys. Why is it still going? So here's my question.

And I'm holding my dick. Like, fucking holes out here. Oh, is this about right? Yeah, I'd say, come on. Come on. 12 of that. Yeah. 112, yeah.

This man's division is tight. So let me go, but let's get Hello real tonight. Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. So here's my question. When you were younger. Yep. Hit by a cement truck in the 90s and then you you had what's it called stones right? Kidney stones. Kidney stones. So do you think that you trained your bladder? Because that doesn't feel good, right? Her. You. I've heard that. I've heard that.

I'm very painful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It hurts a lot. So you probably held your bladder, because you're like, I don't want to fucking go piss it hurts a lot. And maybe your bladder is almost the entire size of your body. Maybe that's why I'm such a beefy ass dude, you know? You think?

So maybe that's why I'm built like a little folly ball. Oh shit. That's what I'm taking. I'm taking this. Now that must be why I'm such a beefy ass dude. You think? So maybe that's why I'm built like a little folly ball. That's what I'm taking this. Now that must be why I'm built like a human buzz ball. This is the way. Because if you're saying his bladder is from here to here, his bladder. I'm thinking you're gonna show up. You don't do.

Holy shit. I'm still gonna send it. Holy shit. Wee-oo. Yes, boys. Fuck John Cena. Holy shit, dude. Fuck John Cena. Dude, I asked my t-shirt was kind of fucked up. The other one I wore, so I asked that I'm also like,

can you give me a medium t-shirt? And then I put this on and Ders goes That's not doing you any favorite It is so tight to under a jacket it works We're gonna get that jacket back on post Thanksgiving day plump. Oh, I mean, yeah, oh T. They haven't seen you guys How was Thanksgiving guys? How was Thanksgiving, guys? How was Thanksgiving? Oh, good.

Now, how was yours? Are there any like Texas or San Antonio specific Thanksgiving traditions that like you're not? Well, you're not gonna be able to understand. I think, dude, I think there's someone. Does anyone here like have one? I think I heard somebody say first beat white cap white cap Don't fuck this up who cares again mother fucking to molle

Well, yo to Molly's to Molly's is that what you're saying dude? We do that on Christmas Eve in my house We do to Molly's on Christmas Eve baby. Let's fucking go. So turns? We're getting married. Why are we getting married? Why are we getting married? We're getting married. Let's fucking go. So turns out wherever there's Mexicans, there's tamales. But like, they're the fucking best. Well, fucking delicious, yeah.

You have a Latin influence in your family. Yes, my wife. My Norwegian grandma was not making tamales. Wait, did you just drop a teen a flavor? Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah. Kyle, can you do a borat impression for us real quick?

Cuz I was yeah Damn, I thought there was gonna be points and I'm like I need more Because you can't give them points Yeah, I want a lot of points because that's a point where there's is fucking us up on points and it's fucking me up in the head Yes, yeah, yeah, well, yeah, you still. No. Okay, well, Timolley's rock on, we do it on Christmas Eve is when we do it. I do.

Yeah, get after me. I just had Thanksgiving and my wife is from Louisiana. Okay. And there's, you know, that's not like super spicy, but a little spicy. And my dad, a little comfor- A little comfor- A little com spicy but a little spicy my dad a little Midwestern was just like Jesus Christ What just right where's the sour cream? Yeah, he was like

On what I don't even know the stuff. I had a little kick to it. It wasn't shit. I'm like you're such a bitch Right go wait in the car Like a fucking stuffy. He had a little kick to it and it wasn't shit. And I'm like, you're such a bitch. Right. Go wait in the car. Yeah. Why can older gentlemen not handle the spice? I don't think it's older gentlemen. Older gentlemen? I think it's older white.

I think it's older. Gringo's older white. Yeah. Older gringo's. No, you got to hit whites. White. Because old whites hate being called old whites. They are old whites.

But you gotta be honest, you're old whites. You're old whites. There's no ifans about it. That's what you are. You're old whites. And they cannot handle the hot sauce. And guess what? And it's only because, I mean, if they grew up here,

I bet they can handle the hot. Yeah, yeah. If they grew up here, I bet they can handle the hot. Yeah, yeah. If they grew up in the South, they can handle the hot. If they grew up in Southern California, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, heat, baby. Absolutely. But you grew up in Omaha, Nebraska, or Waterloo, Iowa, where my dad's from? Yeah. Yeah.

Assaulting crackers, a little spicy. I see. I'm on a hot, hot, hot. So when you guys see old whites walking around, do you go, that's me someday. I go, I go, God, there I am. What do we call it? The enemy. I say, dude, my nose is going to get all fucking chunky like crazy like blood vessels.

Whatever I see in old drunk with like a bulbous nose. It's really cracked and wrinkled. I go, yeah, there's Blake. Yeah, I think about that too. Why does it get all big? What is up going on? It's alcohol. It just goes straight to your nose. That's what they call the gym blossoms. They're not only just the sickest band around. Oh, really? are they from here?

Dude, if you buzz off one too many times, your nose is going to look like a cranberry blast buzz ball. You're supposed to be into a buzz ball. Okay, so yeah, that was Blake. My shit is going to be like this. What up, bro? Did I go?

Right. You're going to be rude off the red nose Anderson. What's Kyle? It's kind of a sick workaholic like Christmas movie. Rudolph the Red Nose Anderson. Well, Blake's a bagel. Blake the Red Nose. Rudolph the Red Nose Anderson.

What about Rudolph the Red Nose Blake? That's kind of hits pretty good. Yeah, so it's a different reindeer name. Oh, because you can't be right. I got it now. I see what you're logic is. I'm a dumb you can't be right. I got it now. I see what your logic is. I'm a dumbass. That's cool.

I was going to give you points, but. No, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. The drunk red nose reindeer. Oh, that has a ring to it. Yeah, I feel like I'm going to age like a bass at hand. I feel like everything's going to droopy. Just start to just melt off my skull. That's already happening to my neck. I feel like everything's gonna droopy. Just start to just melt off my skull. That's already happening to my neck.

I feel it as... Oh, you got a gobbler? Yeah, I can't get rid of it. I don't know what's, when I turn my neck... Well, you know what happened Kyle? Yeah, it's like, there it is. It's because you recently lost a lot of weight. So I was holding most of my weight in my neck.

It turns out. Yeah. You had a wheel of laughter about it. You're like, look at his fat ass neck. Yeah. Big old, big old chunky. And now you've lost it, so you got a little turkey goblet. All right, that's perfect for the bastard. For the bastard at the end of Austin Powers,

when he holds up his hand, he's eating Subway and is like, hanging. Yes. Dude, you guys have family members that, when they shake their arms like this, this goes. No. No. Oh, dude, this goes... No. I have... Oh, dude, my aunt Hazel.

I was pitching the name because my wife and I are expecting our first child. Okay. No. And... Woohoo! I'm entering the dad life, daddy, daddy.

Call me daddy. Just my child, though, not you guys. You guys call him daddy. But we're having a boy, so this was kind of a new point. But yeah, excited. But I'm a dude. But I was pitching Hazel, because my great-ann Hazel, I loved her to death.

And my wife was like, tell me stories about an Hazel. And I'm like, oh, she was the coolest. She used to sit on the table like this, playing cards, drinking gin, chain smoking cigarettes, and she had a tough of her hair that would turn yellow from all the cigarettes smoke. And she's like, maybe another story,

and I go, yeah. And then her arms were super droopy with all, because she was, or obese. I'm gonna come. And then I would take, she would let me take the skin and press it against my eyes, because it felt good as a child, and I would play with it like it's Nickelodeon Gack.

And she goes, oh, maybe we don't name her an Hazel. Yeah. But, but when I was hit by the cement truck, when I came to from the accident, because I was in a medically induced coma, when I finally came out of the coma, can you go back? Right.

So I said, by cement truck. Go ahead. I was hit by a cement truck, and then I had a bad accident. And then when I came to two weeks after the accident, I woke up and I go, and Hazel saved me. Really? Why do you think you said that?

Why do you think you said that? Why do you think you said that? Was she alive at that time? I don't know, I was fucking 11, I don't know why I made a blog. But was she alive at that time? No, she just died. Oh, there we go. Do you think she gave her life for you?

Like, as she had lived, you wouldn't have gone back. Dude, if any woman allows you to press their underarm fat against her, well that's what I thought. You're a young youthful island. Dude, what if you rewatch the footage and like, you get hit and then I'll also listen to this. What footage? What footage? No one, you know how like when you die, you get to watch your whole life. Dude, it's 1995, that was.

There's cameras everywhere. They're always watching. Yeah, the footage, the footage goes. You see, you get hit by the cement truck. And as you're falling, there's a blur of a spirit. And she just throws her fucking, right. And you're just like, oh. I do, I do kind of wonder who I'm talking to right now. I see that.

You in there, Hensley? Little sparkle in my eyes. You in there? She might be. She's here. We're there, Hanzel? Little sparkle in my eyes. You in there? She might be. You know where teasing, but she's flapping her wings around here somewhere. Also the best word teasing. Also, like, what, can you just go into detail, like pressing your face against her skin again?

I just want to walk out back. You have the best arm to do this too. So bring him up here. I do? Yeah. Out of the three of us Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, so I'm gonna have Hazel. Yeah, that part. That's a good Fuck off. No, you asked me to do it. Let's go to the apron We get a spotlight we get a spotlight on these guys. Yeah, we're gonna need a spotlight right here

Like hey on a scale on a scale of me to Aunt Hazel how am I doing? Am I like what 10% of her? Yeah, she was she was a real droopy dog. You can bring us down you can bring here. It's here and then. Oh, what the fuck are you doing though? Dude, it feels magnificent. Are you like dabbing your eyes with my fucking arm? I don't know why, but I love doing this as a kid and it turns out I love doing it now.

I'm gonna come. Yo, this is fucking wild. Kyle, are you flexing? You're armpit homie? Huh? Are you flexing? Dude, you're armpit homie? Yeah.

Smells fucking great. Okay, and I know you thought I was gonna say something else, but this guy's straight up shop work. What's weird is I think I just developed the opposite side of that kink. That's what's weird? I think I want more faces being dabbed with my skin. Dude, you're a wife, I'm sure would love to dab in all your roles.

All right, well, hey, bring it on. I'm bringing that home. Damn, what are you gonna say, baby, wear me like a hood. Yeah, she just takes her fat and goes, yeah. He just stands behind her and just fucking, I don't want this. You're taking it. Blake, Blake, your body fucking sucks dude.

It would never be able to do that. Yeah, you're too fucking tight. Take your tautas body out of here. Kyle and I are gonna be able to do that. Yeah, you're too tight. Tate your toss-task body out of here. Kyle and I are going to be able to do that someday. Yep. Very soon. Right now, I just did it. Dude, what about it?

Wait until Christmas is over, I'm going to be a real true peat dog. Well, we're going to be the same weight after Christmas. That's going to be cool. I like that. Slams some tamales, baby. Oh, dog. I cannot wait for that shit. You know what's crazy though? You can eat 50 tamales. Yeah. And the fact that you say it like that. You sound white. You're two you're two and you guys know about two of them Ruined the rest of them because those two are so good and then you eat the rest of me like these are just okay

Well, how many tamales do you eat? I eat them all the time whenever I go to a restaurant I go but cheers those are hot pockets Points okay, so points no, but if I go if I go to a restaurant to share points. Okay. Self points. No, but if I go to a restaurant, and you know where I had the greatest tamales in my life, because you were there. Yeah, I know. Weeners Mitchell. No.

But I've been chasing the taste of that tamale everywhere. Where was it? I don't remember. It was when we had a sketch show called The Lemmings that like went on tour. And one of the Lemmings guys had us over to his place. And this woman who lived downstairs from him made tamales in the party.

It's always a magical tamale. And they were un-fucking believable. And I've been like a crackhead chasing that tamale. It's always a four foot 11 Mexican woman. That's my wife's grandma. Who just waddles in, drops some tamale's on your fucking face and blows your mind. Yes, it's always.

It's always so nice. It's so big. You're here and she's over five feet. Don't hit the bridge. Yeah, you're out of here. Tamale's in the room. I go for it though. I always, if I see a Tommale in the restaurant,

I ask the waiter, I'm like, are these any good? Like, what's the deal? And he's, if they say, yeah, I go, all right. And I've never had one that was as good. No, no, no. I like a sweet Tommale. I like a sweet one. If anyone would throw a Tommale for a, for a girl's hero.

If anybody would throw a Tommale in a Tommale. If anyone even smells like Tommale, I'll just sniff your hair. Whoa, hey, you know what? I'm hard up. The End This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Every holiday season, my family has a gag gift-only rule. We like to give each other silly gifts so we can focus more

on enjoying our time together. Whether or not your family gives gifts during the holidays, you get to define how you give to yourself, and the holidays are a great time to do that. So whether it's by starting therapy, going easier on yourself during the tough moments, or treating yourself to a day of complete rest, remember to give yourself some love this holiday season. I've benefited from therapy and I've found that learning positive coping skills and setting boundaries has been very important for me. It allows me to be the best version of myself.

Therapy isn't just for those who have experienced a major trauma, it's for everyone who feels they need any sort of help in their daily lives. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. In the season of giving, give yourself what you need with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash this is today to get 10% off your first month.

That's better help H-E-L-P dot com slash this is. Hi, I'm Daniel Tosh, host of new podcast called called Tosh Show, brought to you by I Hard Podcasts. Why am I getting into the podcast game now? Well, it seemed like the best way to let my family know what I'm up to instead of visiting or being part of their incessant group text. I'll be interviewing people that I find interesting, so not celebrities, and certainly not comedians. I'll be interviewing my plumber, my stylist, my wife's gynecologist. We'll be covering topics like religion, travel, sports, gambling, but mostly it will be

about being a working mother. If you're looking for a podcast that will educate and inspire, or one that will really make you think, this isn't the one for you, but it will be entertaining to a very select few because you don't make it to your mid-40s with IBS without having a story or two to tell. Join me as I take my place among podcast royalty like Joel Olstein and Lance Bass. Those are words I hope I'd never have to say. Listen to Toss Show in the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history.

That's Rob Breiner, Rob called me, Soledad O'Brien, and asked me what I knew about this crime. I know 60 years later, new leads are still emerging. To me, an award-winning journalist, that's the making of an incredible story. And on this podcast, you're going to hear it told by one of America's greatest storytellers. Well, ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president? My dad, 5JFK, screwed us at the Bay of Pigs, and then he screwed us after the Cuban Missile

Crisis. Will reveal why Lee Harvey Oswald isn't who they said he was? I was under the impression that Lee was being has been trained for a specific operation, then will pull the curtain back on the cover-up. The American people need to know the truth. Listen to Who Killed JFK on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. That sounds like white people took over. It was very much a quiet out. I heard you go like,

you're a book to boy, boy. No, we're fooling you, Kyle. No, no, I'm with him. They're not booing me. I'm with them. You're a fuck to Molly Pie. Yeah, yeah, fuck it. Kyle.

Yeah. We came from the same area. We went to the same school. Do you remember Taco Boats? I do remember Taco Boats. It was the the same area. We went to the same school. Do you remember Taco Boats? I do remember Taco Boats. It was the exact same thing. It was just a fucking pile of olives and cheese. Yes, it was.

On like a weird, like a toastada that was curved up, like a bug. What hurts you guys? You guys are from California. There's tons of those. It was a hard shell like boat, like toastada that had been curved up. And then they just poured shit in and shoved in the oven It looked like a tortilla that the lunch lady stepped in to make it like Right, right, and you know, it's crazy like at the meeting where they're like so these are the some of the foods the old whites and charge

Took the unbiot and they said Man, this is delicious No, they brought like real Mexican food and food and the old whites in charge were like sets too spicy. Yeah, you see a locker up hot hot hot. Yeah, can we have French onion soup? We're going to be all sorts of different old whites, aren't we? Yes, we are.

We wanted to do a test for the audience, right? You want to see if this participation of what was it? A participation? Yeah, I'm going to press something and then we're going to see what happens. Okay. That's not a bad night, a big end break.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good job. I like that. I like that. And by the way, shout out to the housewives who are coming up here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, comes, he's like, what's the deal with the stars? You're bright. What? Yeah, try it again, dude.

Yeah, like, you get hit and try it again. We're filming our specials. Yeah, just do a take, too. It's fine. Do a take, too. We're filming our specials. We're taking a take, too. I bet you should.

You should probably want to. I don't know. No, no, no, no. Your face should be fine. That means you have to be standing up right here. Your face should be fine, too. This isn't going to be standing up right here if you're Jerry side film. This isn't gonna be this isn't gonna be funny And yep, okay, so you're you are your Jerry side filled

He wars boots everyone and then you just have to say what's the deal? All right and quiet on set rolling sound speeds and What what what's the line the stars are And you have to say what's the deal deal? And what's the deal with? Wait, and the stars at night are big and bright. Just do that. And action. And what's the deal with the stars at night are big and bright?

Yes. Oh. Oh. Yeah, that was OK. I felt you did good. And it is not a McNugget, then I'm not gonna make it. I don't know if you've done Jerry. I don't know. Adam was that worth it? I don't know what just happened.

Yeah. Are you saying that like everyone who comes here does a version of that? And that was the Jerry's signpost. I'm saying the dude was so quick on the trigger. It seems like everybody comes out, drops that and everybody's like, Oh, right. Like you can say it anywhere. You can be. It seems like everybody comes out, drops that and everybody's like, oh Right. Like you can say it anywhere. You can be I'm not gonna insult him. I think that it no matter where that man is He whips out a light and shines it on people when he hears that and that's not a no-insole That's that's just what he's a star is at night or big and bright Did you, whoa! I love it.

I like it better when Kyle does it, not Jerry Sinfeld. I was like, I was like, dance with his head when he says it. The stars at night? Are big and bright? Now, this is the kind of fun I wanted to have in see an Antonio man You we I came here to have a specific kind of fun, and that's the kind of fun. I want to have yeah, baby Colin response You guys we got a we got a new segment tonight called riverwalk talk

I'm And I'm making it up right now. They don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. But so, like, pretty much, there's no railings on the river. And like, oh, what the fuck? And so, like, hey, I'm just wondering, like, basically, people be going in the river, right? Yeah. Are there other ways they're like, river cops?

It's like the side of the stage. Like you're walking right here. And if you're out with your homies and they're like, fuck you dude. You get pushed in the river, right? Yes. And it has to happen all the fucking time. Is it? Can you guess too?

So that's what's cool about Texas. Is if that were in California, there would be a gate over the entire river. 20 feet tall. Oh yeah, blocking the homeless encampment on top of it. Yeah, it would be blocking all wildlife from getting into the water. Yes. There would just be like a bunch of guys warming their hands over the river.

Oh, did you want to push your friend in here? And then there would be a tick talker jumping the fence and going into the wall. Driving a Tesla through it. Is it a far drop with you were to fall in? No, it's just a couple of feet. It's just like fucking river. It's fucking cool.

But like for sure, has anyone here been pushed into it? Well, like four feet. So it's half a grand point? Been pushed into it? Well, like, four feet. So it's half a Victor Wemmonyama. Wow. Yes, points. Yes, points. Yes, points. What do you say?

He said half a big one. I was talking about the spurs. Oh, OK, four. Tight, tight. Yeah. Are you guys hyped? Are you guys hyped? Are you guys hyped? It's gotta be pretty excited to have that guy here.

To have Victor Wemmanyama here is gotta be pretty sick. And we all have to say his name as fast as we can, but it's Wemmanyama. Wemmanyama. Victor Wemmanyama. Does he have a nickname yet? Wemmanyama? That's a bad nickname.

Wembee? Oh, that's kind of cool. Remember when they're calling Kevin Durant, Durantula, and he was like, oh, I actually hate that nickname. That is the coolest nickname of all time. I like that. That's really good. Then they upgraded it. They're like, okay, how about the Slim Reaper? And it was like, oh shit, and he's like, nah, that should have fucking sucks.

Wait, what? Yes. This is what? Yes. This is both the random. I wish he was pitching nicknames. He was like, what about just like handsome basketball man? Yeah, and they're like, oh, they're like, well, that doesn't have a ring to it. I'd love that if you would just call me nails.

And you're like, we're not calling you nails, man. Yeah, that's the truth. Yeah, yeah. And I think they do with basketball. Devon Karend. No. No. No. No. Actually, I like that one.

That's funny. Did you see what I did there, though? It's a spoonerism. And I assume you like lit the first, what you just took the first letter. It's a spoonerism. It's a spoonerism. Yeah, I like that. Spoonerism.

We've talked about the spoonerism before, right? When you just switch the like front letters, a couple words. Okay, so I'm data. Can you guys give us a second? A.M. Fine. Yeah, it's hard to do yours. I'm Nile Kuhichek. Right.

Kind of fun. I feel like we could do this for 20 minutes. I am a lake. But I'm interested. Yours doesn't know your work, bro. Yours doesn't work, though, for real. I am a lake, Anderson. Benderson.

Alec? Oh, Alec. Yes, OK. Well, how would you pronounce Alec? Alec? Yeah, it was going to say Alec. Well, how do you do durses? You don't, motherfucker.

Tamalei, San Antonio! Shut up, bitch. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be the guy. Okay, well, while we're on River Walk Talk. River Walk Talk, coming to you out from San Antonio. I don't know if any of y'all have ever been to Disneyland, but the River Walk smells exactly like the jungle cruise. Yeah, there's a lot of bird action. What's up with the fucking Oh, dude, what are those fucking birds?

Do pigeons do we have some pigeons, but there's birds that make noises that are like kind of scary They sound like fucking bats. I thought they were fucking bad. They sound like monkeys that like we'll eat your brains They sound like birds to me. Oh, well, I thought they sounded a little bit like bats. They're bats? Oh, so they are bats. Oh, they fucking are bats. Dude, a level of mystery. Oh, they fucking are bats.

A level of mystery has been added to San Antonio. Yeah, like that. That's dope. Fuck it. I know what bats sound like, bro. I like bats a lot. Who was San Antonio Antonio was he cool? down

Like this was he a good guy was he funny like are you saying San Antonio has in the saint? Yeah? Is that what San means? Yeah, so if you've heard the Metallica song enter San none No enter a saint's man. No, San San anger No, this is something we should haves-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s- Lewis, like beefed or like we're cool. Like it was Francisco, like a fucking bitch. And what's up with Diego? You know what Diego's involvement in all this. Diego was a G and you know that.

All I wanna know is who's? Diego, like started. Diego. Diego. Diego. Diego. Diego. De Adonino for your time.

He definitely was like invented the skateboard. Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. Right. He's like, if you just break off the long part of the cross, man, it's a long word. And you take that accent for what you will. You know?

Yeah. I like that. The long part of the cross. Hey, hey. Did you go? I like that. The long part of the cross. Hey. Did you go? We're talking about mine. A big and big.

Yeah. Okay, real question. The whole couple, that couple's leaving, or they're going to fucking the bathroom. Maybe both. Get it. What just happened? I'm going to come.

What just happened? The both of them left. Well, we talked about my dead and hissel earlier. Uh, did you guys have any spirits that stay with you? Do you have any archangels? Is archangel mean like an evil angel? I think an archangel is evil, right? No, that's like, when you get like a McDonald's hamburger

that like, like oh that has two patties right into it you see the the farm it was raised on yeah the cause of diarrhea. I do I do have yeah I do I mean please tell me about your spirit encounters my wife's um grandpa how did you pronounce that and can you do it as my wife? Okay, great my wife now. I know you're good Grandpa was in points for that. I'm gonna give him points every time he does borat so you could wrap them up What does he say does he say that's nice? When manana, I think it's just that's all Kyle knows is my wife and that's nice Yeah, then I'm like trying to think of anything else

I don't have any other ones my man. Yeah, but my wife my wife. Yes, my wife. I don't have a story that goes beyond this except my wife grandfather Has he talks to us through car alarms We like it an alarm clock. When he died, when he died, I still love you. It's just like one of those things. I love you.

I love you. I'm watching. I love you. I'm watching. I love you. I'm watching. I love you. I never buy you. I love you. I like the version that the grand father's coming back just letting you know like I never liked you. You're my least favorite grand kid Is it where we know like the order that those things come in though Like I know that after like Like and I don't even know if I've ever heard that in my life. Dude, there was a bird in my neighborhood

that could do that whole car alarm thing. When I grew up, I'd do a few bird. Your neighborhood is cool. Yeah. Did you grow up in my West Bolshevik? I grew up in... No, it's just like they shot the wire. Dude, have you seen your monkey?

Dude, that wasn't a bird. That was the neighbor's special kid. Oh, hi. Yo, we called him Little Bird. Hey, Blake, real quick for me because I just didn't understand that. What a special man. I, Blake, it's all I could, I don't know, man.

I just want to know, because everyone was laughing, so what did that mean to you? To me, it was like their number one favorite son. To me, that's hilarious. That's very funny, that's very funny. Like super talented kid, like super talented kid. Take another sip of your cancel sauce, buddy. I'm laughing already.

Now that's some river walk talk boy. Hey dude, when I was in Hawaii, I was where they shot a hunger games, Mockingbird. Yeah, MockingJ. MockingJ. MockingJ. MockingJ. Okay, one of the birds, I was on this hike, and one of the birds goes,

oh, which I think is the, I'm maybe I'm doing it wrong, but it's the, that wasn't great, but yeah. But it's giving one more. That's the mocking chase sound. Yeah, it's them, yes. Yeah, it's from the movie, right? Or as so they must have heard it and burned it. Yeah, these birds man

they're fucking smart bro that's why I hate birds yeah cuz they're too dear to anything that learns more than him actually it gets crazy I hate him yeah he's not gonna tolerate it no but because you can't trust him dude and they're always up in trees looking down on you being like I'm gonna shit on you Right, I'm gonna dive bomb your car. Yeah, that's why like that. I like bats better than birds for sure Okay, hot dude. This is fucking hot talk wait So wait, so hey, let me just get this straight so like I can like fucking understand. Yeah, you like bats more than birds Dude, I do I think they're okay, I saw a video that cracked me up.

There's a... I'm gonna go take a shit. Yeah, that's fine. But you know how bats hang upside down and they like stretch their wings and shit. There's a video floating around where somebody turned that upside down. Okay. And then it looks like they're dancing. They put in like, God, that was sick. Oh yeah, that was sick. It was like, this is like a god-flub of the 80s and it was like...

Yeah. Dude, it was so good. It was so good Okay, it was set to like joy division or something right. I like that, dude. I know joy So the grandfather talks you through Karl arms and how He talks to us through Karl arms and also anything. Have you say Karl arms? So like tattoo show up on your arms? No, no, no, no, no. It just was like right after he died,

we had some crazy instances where the Karl Arms were going off. And his whole thing was like security. So now, like, shit. Yeah, that was his whole thing. Where his initials ADT. His initials were ADT. Yes, points. OK, yeah, I'll get some. Yes, points. Where his initials ADT Okay, yeah, I'll get some yes

I bet I bet he's here. I bet he's here grandpa. Ed if you're here Turn on the house lights Did you did you guys fucking see that the house lights come on? Yeah, we saw that did you see that? Yeah, I saw that at the same time when I asked the spirit to turn them on dude when my grandmother died in my childhood bedroom She walked in and saw you beating off and was like She was like no grandson of mine should have that soul. She had like a shit out of that. Yeah, I can come down with a said doesn't. No, she was dying.

So she moved in with us. And then my mom was like, move your crippled ass out of your bedroom. And you live in the basement now. So now I'm in the basement in a hospital bed. Wait, Adam, around the house at that age, did you do a lot of like, dude? Hey, dude, that's a joke. It's science.

Dude, that's a joke, but absolutely. That's how we got up and down the stairs. For real? With your arms? Yeah. Wow. That's why these arms up and down the stairs Real with your arms. Yeah, wow That's why these arms are so fucking jacked bro. Yeah Be cool. That's why these arms are so fucking jacked. Hey, hey, Dursdursd. That was fucking tight That was tight that was physical comedy. There's nothing like physical comedy on the podcast There's nothing like physical comedy on the podcast

And so if you're listening And then we kept reaching up that when she was dying and talking to someone in the corner and then my mom She was cappi Like people that have already died before. Oh really? Like so she was seeing them. Oh my God! The night that she passed, it was a ton of, our doorbell kept ringing and we look out the window

and no one's there. Dude, electronics man, they hold ghosts. Electronics are where ghosts go, dude. I love it. Dude, the battle. This is, this is. hold ghosts. Electronics are where ghosts go, dude. Telling you. I love it, but. Dude, can go. Addle. This is, this is.

Her nod is my buddy Ryan just pumpkin us. Yeah, for sure. Well, good job, Ryan. That's really big. Your mom was trying to be sweet. She's like, no, she's still alive, you guys. She lives in the lights. What my mom is waystained when she's telling us this.

She's telling us. She's alive. Yeah. Wouldn't you be drunk after folks die? You're like, all right, I'll crack a few. And then you just tell your kids like, no, we knew she's dead. It'd be fucking terrifying if she was still alive. Nana's in the doorbell, guys. So when that rings, that's her ghost kissing you.

I am Daniel Tosh, host of new podcast called Tosh Show, That's hernecologist. We'll be covering topics like religion, travel, sports, gambling, but mostly it will be about being a working mother. If you're looking for a podcast that will educate and inspire, or one that will really make you think, this isn't the one for you, but it will be entertaining to a very select few because you don't make it to your mid-40s with IBS without having a story or two to tell. Join me as I take my place among podcast royalty like Joel Olstein and Lance Bass. Those are words I hope I'd never have to say.

Listen to Toss Show in the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history. That's Rob Breiner, Rob called me, so would Ado Bryan and asked me what I knew about this crime. I know 60 years later, new leads are still emerging. To me, an award-winning journalist, that's the making of an incredible story. And on this podcast, you're going to hear it told by one of America's greatest storytellers. Well, ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president.

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you want me to take care of them for not doing something or paying you something like that? I said, no, what you talking about? But I had no idea who he had become. That's how he approached you. You know, he meant what he said that. Yeah, I'm thinking, murder, in a minute, you know. I think that's what he was thinking. Yeah. From Tinderfoot TV, Campside Media, and I Heart Podcasts, Radical is available now. Listen to the new podcast Radical for free on the I Heart Radio app, Apple

Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts Now you can really fuck with kids like you could like dress up like a ghost and go on the ring cam and be like Whoa, I'm here and I'm fucking pissed cuz they they have, like, because are your kids on the ring cam? Well, you could be like, oh my God, I just got an alert from my ring cam. Right. Holy shit, it's Aunt Tilly. Right. Right.

And she saw what you're doing with your dick in your room. Right? Yeah. Okay, cool. Yes. That's my dick in that room. That's for sure. That was right around the time.

Shout out to her. I started jerking off you know for sure I like it is it was in my childhood It was in my childhood bedroom Yeah, dude get over on your side It was in my childhood bedroom and I was like convinced that my grandma was staring at me. And I loved it. Yeah, that just shaped your whole... Right, Grandma!

...shaped your whole sexual experience. Did you say shake your whole? I said shake it, it just shaped your whole. Do we never see shit like this, Grandma? Yes, points. I just, I'm kind of getting horny, so I gave you points. Okay. Okay. I like the idea of parents who don't know how to reprimand or parent their children doing it through spirits and ghosts, though.

You know what you could do, too? You could be like filming your kids little e-game or whatever, and then take that footage and bring it in the computer and just put a ghost in the background. And I feel like, let's watch. And this is what happens when you fucking strike out you stupid bitch. Right, exactly.

There's just a worm reaper in the outfield. And I love it. I love it. Is the green reaper beating off? Oh, yeah. And all the ghosts are there. I love it. I love it. I love it. Is the green Reaper beating off? Oh, yeah. Oh, we add for sure. Someone's jacking off the right. Yeah, we're going to make such great parents. Yeah. What do you mean? We're all parents. We're so deep into parenting. Yeah. Well, you're going to make great parents. But I'm going to get better at it. I swear. Yeah. Because you're not great now. You'll get there.

I'm the round. I told Kyle about my long con with my kid. Oh, yeah. The beach. I'm still gonna send it. You're live on the beach. She's kind of a weirdo. Orange County.

And I buried it with you. Was your address again? Yeah. I buried a small skeleton. Yeah. And I skeleton in my sand. Okay. Like an actual human skull. Like an Amazon fake skeleton. That was a true old white already.

He has sand. Dude, I buried this in the sand. And one my kid is about like eight or nine and he's acting a fool. I'm going to be like, you know you had an older brother. Oh, I'm gonna say. Right. I buried this thing two years ago just in case. And I'm like, so it's gonna look way fucked up in old.

Right. Well, yeah, that's gonna be almost like 10 or 11 years underground for this plastic. I wanna say plastic stuff. I'm gonna say. Did you put like a Taylor Swift concert like bracelet on his wrist? I should have like in like, like, like, like,

always sort of like time capsule type thing. Adam, you have so much time to go put a bracelet on that skeleton's hand. It doesn't need to be down there for 10 years. Yeah, but I wanted to look, I wanted to go untouched. Adam, wait, wait, so I want to hear the rest of the roots. So you're saying that you had a kid, are you saying that you murdered that child, or they die, or what are you?

No, no, no. Yeah, that's the whole thing. I murdered him for being naughty. Right, right. And the younger one will end up in the sand with Oswald as well. OK, they're Oswald. What if the name is cool?

What if the name is cool? Why don't you set up a couple other things, like like a frozen cow heart in the freezer and be like? Well, then that's taking up freezer space. I need that. It's like you haven't thought of this Blake and Anything that's just very more things in the sand and be like and you had a sister and you right you used to have a pet lizard Yeah, and you know what? He didn't eat his green beans either. And they're right here. Right. And back when I was a kid, there was dinosaurs

and then just a full dinosaur bones. I like that. Yeah, I like that. Maybe he'd be an archaeologist. I like that. I do like that. Like, you do that. And then he's 24 on his own in the beach in Santa Barbara

and finds just like a flip-flop and people like, oh look, a lost flip-flop and he's like, this was a person. This person had a life. And everyone's like, yo, Orlando, be cool about it. Well, what's definitely Orlando divine, children? What's definitely going to happen is I'm going to forget about it. Yeah. And sell the house in 15 years or something.

Yeah. And then the next owner is gonna be like, you know what, let's do something with the beach here. And they dig it up and they're like, what the fuck? Right. Right. It is gonna be on the news. Like they found skeleton.

They're gonna call in some like archaeologistsologists like Indiana Jones coming in to figure it out Yeah, and then somebody's just like an Amazon tag still on it. It's like oh, whoops They're like this just got Honestly dude that is insane that you did that Okay, hey that's insanely dope, right? It's wild. Yeah, I like that. Hey, I'm not if you guys are running low.

Isaac? Well, you come out here with a refill. Isaac! And by the way, he was so close to taking fucking D. Isaac! Whoa! D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- Wow Puzzle Rockies, thank you. Oh Yeah, oh yeah, dude

Definitely a Isaac definitely don't bring Adam up here watch this out. Why you got to do that to me? I said hey Adam. What do you do? What the fuck Where's mine Isaac show your tips to the fuck? Where's mine? I say show your tits to the crowd. Your boobs are huge. I think your boobs are huge. He did a good job.

I think you're the new fresh haircut. Maybe you show them titties. Your boobs are huge. I think are you kind of a nasty dude? Hello. Very shagged, Danny. 69, dudes. Like, but real real talk like full 100% honesty like yeah cuz we've been Mind about most this you see a guy carrying this at the river walk and you beat him up, right?

So it's great to me is the river walk like a ton of cool bars or So, it's great to me, is the River Walk like a ton of cool bars or... Ew! Is there like a lot of cool bars there or is it just like... Mostly like ladies, boutiques where you buy like... Dude, I want you to cost a Rio and fucking crushed. Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like a, it's like a tourist trap, but I'm a sucker for that shit. Yeah. Yeah, did you get...

It seems like a great place to have a bachelor party. Did you, did you get anything? Did you get any shirts or anything like that? I just got this AK 40 fucking Are you this your parents the headline here pal? I'm hearing the fucking duck dude. I'm pretty cool I was breaking to you like that's an AR 15, but isn't my bad dude. I don't know guns that well Yeah, Adam's been involved in upwards of six school shootings hey tell you what I haven't but I'd be so good at it yeah no that it to be true to be honest this is like you know I don't want to joke

about this he's never obviously done a school shooting what board buttons I push for this what hey Blake Blake you Blake, bam, bam, bam, bam. You know, what's weird to say? You know, just because I don't know why you think we have to even joke about this. We can be a... Blake, quit joking about school shooting. Yeah. OK.

It's kind of weird that you think we need to make light of something so serious. I'm not trying to, man. I'm just trying to... Blake, it's not funny, dude. OK. And let Anders cancel himself. Yeah, it's very weird.

Have a little morning I'm so we were doing river walk talking now you're in this part of the show let's go oh my fucking god this no this episode this episode is going to be 35 minutes long what's Anna gets her hands on the in the edit I promise you it's gonna be brought to you by so many new sponsors that are like, these are the binoculars you need when you're out at night. Yeah. Just looking at your neighborhood.

Do you like black rifle coffee? It's all gun-related. Yeah. Yeah, it's that. Wee-oo. Yeah, I like it too. Is it pretty good? The like, the flashlights that are like what military is like they're

like do you need a brighter flashlight? You're like not really like this one's super bright. You go all right well what's the catch? You buy one you get 40 free. You go well I don't need 40 but yeah but it's gonna save the country yeah. Well if you tape them all together, then it becomes a laser cannon Nice, yes points Do you work I'll take home? Yes points So I feel like San Antonio is a place we could go shoot guns though. Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, dude I just went and I was I just I do I'll a hunting trip with my family and friends and like the South Dakota South Dakota in Nebraska border. And we hunt peasant, but my buddy brought this AR-15.

Wait, did you say peasants or peasants? Peasants. Yeah, and we line up all these pores. And they put a pumpkin on this hill and filled it with tannerite, which is an explosive. And, dude, I fucking, I fucking take that thing. You hear everyone who's small fixer, yeah! Peg that thing.

You got it? How big was the explosion when you hit it? Was it massive? Yeah, it was fucking huge. Dude, it was like a fucking crater in the ground. Did you come? Yeah, medium sized crater. And you came?

No, I don't think so. You came pretty hard. It was a Victor Rebanyama. Yeah, Victor Re crater. And you came. Yeah. And like, so you came pretty hard. It was a Victor Webinama. Yeah, Victor Webinama. Webby, webby loving. So after the big explosion, is it like all these dudes being like? Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, exactly. It's such a good feeling. And the cool thing about it, and this, I probably couldn't do this if you asked me 100 other times, everybody took like 10 shots, and then it was my my turn and I pegged it on the first one Can we see your hand movement one more time for how you shot? Everyone hit it and then I'm fucking you were like and then I went Well, you hold it like this now, but you didn't do that though. That'd be cool if you said now you're conscious now

You know before you like and then I'm like this I blew it a kiss and I said And it went cabloey and everyone shrieked You got me dude and we were in southern I don't like him. It's okay. He's my least favorite of the more of us. There's this tough He's just hey, that's a tough one to deal with sometimes. Sometimes he's got his own good one tonight. That's the river. He's on the river walk. I'm your brother. He's talking about school shootings a lot. Maybe put a spotlight on him and see what happens. Maybe if we just spotted on him. You're shooting at the Tanner Act with an AR 15. He put me on as like,

I'm a school shooter and then kind of put that on me. That was rough. I didn't even have the mic up. Then he gets to my space. I'm trying to tell a story, gets in my space. I guess I'm also wondering. He's being a fucking dick. Why are you shooting at Tannerack with semi-automatic? When he was shooting that with a rifle, wouldn't you shoot that Tannerack with one shot

as opposed to many, I don't understand. Yeah, you're a stupid dumbass. Perfect. Is everybody here shooting at Tannerack with automatic rifle? Are you just shooting it with one bullet? Well, it's not automatic, so you pull the trigger and it's one bullet. You don't have the cool thing that the Vegas shooter had? No, I don't know.

The cool thing the Vegas shooter had. You don't have the bump stock, dude. Nope. So Kyle, the other thing I almost got on the river walk was Salina merchandise. Oh, what did they have? What did they have? Because I love, I mean... Hell it's shirts. Yeah, well you can get those almost everywhere now. Yeah, what is she from? Yeah. San Antonio? Yeah, Salina... Post enough, she's around the way. I think she had...

I think she kicked it here a lot and like had a store out here, some shit. I stay up and think of you. Go ahead. This is impressive. Stand up, bring your spotlight spotlight I love you too Because I'm dreaming of

Beautiful tonight Everybody put their fun on the Felt and the fun, we'll be holding you tight Play on your pulsa There's nowhere in this world that'd rather be They're here in my room dreaming about you and me Bopolsa Damn

Bopolsa Bopolsa Bopolsa That was so impressive dude Yeah That was so impressive dude and I didn't really had such a beautiful voice. Thanks. Thanks. Yo more time in spanish go We let a no chat The grand table is dreamy. Okay. No, I can't I'm not gonna do it really just we just looked in the Kyle's honeymoon when he fucking laid it down Bro you know what you were whispering to Marisa Marisa, but no, but for real real talk that song is Is from 1994 95-ish?

Okay, go off. Okay, that's what I out the best decade that's that's when your dick first started working exactly That's what my dick first start. That's when I met my wife. Okay, hey Because we were in fifth grade together and so I would think about her when I when I heard that song on the radio Dude, so that's just a moment for love when you heard on the radio That's a big love moment right there. You know what I mean one your dick first started working My dick first started coming. Sorry my dick first started coming around you're dick first started coming in fifth grade Dude around there. Whoa. I was way late to the game. Yeah, when did you start coming? I was seventh grade and you were sophomore college. Wait, you're gonna tell me when I started coming?

No, I can just I can tell when your voice dropped a little bit. I had already known you. Me? It was on a friend. I was a cute angel. You were late, Blumma, right? Were you seventh eighth grade? Yeah, but I started coming very early.

Oh, really? Do tell. Wait a second. So you're telling me that if I sucked your dick, when you were, let's say, 12, I'd get a mouthful of cum, that's what you're telling me. No, okay, no.

Whoa. No. Do you want me to sing Selena again? Like, I tried to turn it the fuck around, you know what I mean? Huh, thank you. Oh, damn. No, I just read, Is that where you're saying it?

I just recall, like in the early stages of coming. Yeah, the good old days. It would be like, it would be like one crystal Pepsi shot. What a giant sperm. A giant sperm would wriggle out and then flop on the floor for a little bit. And that guy just left, fuck. Yeah.

Fuck. We had two times the childhood, childhood come my mother here Yeah, no, I can't what song when you first started coming really hit home Um, I think it was like something by Phil Collins Oh, I think I know it was dance I can walk Wait, please, are only a thing about me is rock Jazz Can while place are only a thing about me is right just

place or was it the forever young no, I think you know what it was, dude. How about it? How about it? Boy? We get a spotlight.

Can we get a spotlight of our man? What is the show? Wait, what? Hey, no one knows. I can feel it. Is that this song? So I would be like, I would I would I would I would I'll back you up brother. So this is you

close in the door. Will you get away from me and your childhood bedroom? Oh, Ew, you're when you're 12. It was pre-internet. There's no laptop. It was pre-internet. There's no laptop. And of course I had a VCR. I have like, we cannot afford this all. I have like MTV Spring Break. You had like, Brooke Burke, Keegan in the beach. Go ahead.

Dude, watch this guy go. This is like in that movie, Saltburn. This is like, Elordie. You're like the OG icebice. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm gonna be a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more

of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more You fingered your ass. So what? Let the guy go. You were fingering your ass. That's a new scratching. He was scratching.

That's an advanced move. The goal was to make it to the drop, but he could never make it to the drums. No, it turns out the intro is super long. Yeah, but you always came before the drum. You were trying to make it to the drums. Good, good, good, good. When the hell doesn't even hit.

Oh, it's hell along, dude. It's a while. Like, you guys would have been watching me get ready to jerk off for upwards of 30 minutes. It's a lot of you like setting the lotion in the right place. Yeah, my goodness. Just right. At the beginning of the song, Phil Collins is still in Genesis. It's gonna come in like,

I literally fast-forwarded it one minute and it still hasn't done. Yeah, dude, that's classically like, I'll just do it. How about it? Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. It is cool that the Blake is like a minute later and I can't choose.

Yeah, that's okay. Buh, do you remember? We're at 330 out of 530. Here we go. Here we go. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. After your mom's like, hey, Blake, you want to have sandwich? Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

Hey, Blake, you want to Capri sign your thirsty in there? Oh And if you're listening If you're listening to the podcast Blake just had a full body orgasm It apparently just all over his carpet. No, it's just one big one. It was a pet snake No, it's just one big one. It was a pet snake. I think my song was I swear by the moon and the stars and the sky. Wow. That's what it is.

Wait, isn't that a bunch of guys singing? Yeah, it's all for one. Yeah, but they were singing about their Shing about the woman. Adam, show us how you jerk off. See, no, you don't want to see that because it wasn't pretty. I had to fuck something, so it was. Can I sing? What are you making us do?

I'm going to sing. I'm gonna come I'm gonna come I'm gonna come I'm gonna come I'm gonna come I'm gonna come I'm gonna come

I'm gonna come I'm gonna come I'm gonna come I'm gonna come I'm gonna come Oh my Turn the lights of Jesus Christ wait your fly wait Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait every shrimp through whatever Sasway Adam's fly is actually open. Would you know why do you know why because a ghost fucking did it bro? A ghost pulled down his fly. He was actually fucking a ghost right there Has that been open the whole time or did you dig just fucking try and burst out dude? It heard all for one and it did

Just yeah, yeah the ghost came through there and fucking on zip them easy blazer I love that I love that your parents were just downstairs like listening and they're like, he's rearranging his room again. Wait, this guy can't get his shit. His day bed in the right place. The boy loves Feng Shui. I will say that. Blake is coming like a maniac.

Adam is fucking his futon like crazy. Um, Blazer, if you can pull up speed racer, house, remix. First of all, what? Is this only on YouTube? So when you grow up in Chicago in the 90s, in the 90s, house music was a little bit of a thing. Would this be on YouTube? I don't know, bro. It is definitely not on iTunes.

But basically the breakdown was just like, oh, this is a fun song. And then at a certain point, like a minute and 30 in, Speed Racer and Trixi are fucking. Would it be Speed Racer Remix Alpha Team DirtyVersion Slash YouTube? Probably! In the 90s.

And I'm like eight years old and I'm like, okay, let's see. I guess this is. Well, first we have to get past. We gotta add, we gotta add for. Bum, bam, bam. Basically, AI. Okay.

It's AI stuff about how to like write your report better for work. Well, should they be a sponsor? You get fast forward to like a minute and a half in. Okay, minute and a half, okay. Okay. I also don't remember this, give it a little bit. Move. You would smack it. Yep.

You old dad grabbing. I wonder if I wonder if the always sunny and Philadelphia guys jerk off on couches during their live podcasts. Yeah, I don't know, but that's so good. Freakin' doubt it. Doubt it nerds. That being said, this is brought to you by Four Walls Whiskey. Go out and get yourself a bottle.

Buh-buh-sau! Hey, Kyle. Do we cover what you jerked off to? Well, I think I like started with Selena. You know what I mean? I'm sure. I mean, I'm just gonna say that. I'm talking off to, uh, that works. It's a little bit very cool, but that works.

No, you know what it was? You know what song I actually jerked off to? We don't. No. It was the Boys to Men song, dude. Isn't there a sexual ass boys to men song? I'm bending the over. It's not on bend the knee.

It's, uh, the one with the sharp hands. I'm in love to you, lying you want me to. And I'll hold you tight. Baby, all through the night, I'll be loved to you. I'll the flow. Bo-bo-bo any song that it would be like a couple skate? Jesus.

Any song that would be like a couple skate? That's what you were jerking off to. Yeah, I was into the whole love of it all, dude. Yeah. I'm still in. I love love, man. Hi, I'm Daniel Tosh, host of new podcast called Tosh Show, brought to you by I Heart Podcasts. Why am I getting into the podcast game now?

Well, it seemed like the best way to let my family know what I'm up to instead of visiting or being part of their incessant group text. I'll be interviewing people that I find interesting, so not celebrities, and certainly not comedians. I'll be interviewing my plumber, my stylist, my wife's gynecologist. We'll be covering topics like religion, travel, sports, gambling, but mostly it will be about being a working mother. If you're looking for a podcast that will educate and inspire, or one that will really make you think, this isn't the one for you, but it will be entertaining to a very select few because you don't make it to your mid-40s with IBS without having a story or two to tell. Join me as I take my

place among podcast royalty like Joel Olstein and Lance Bass. Those are words I hope I'd never have to say. Listen to Tosho on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history. That's Rob Breiner, Rob called me, so let Ado Bryan and ask me what I knew about this crime. I know 60 years later, new leads are still emerging. To me, an award-winning journalist, that's the making of an incredible story.

And on this podcast, you're going to hear it told by one of America's greatest storytellers Well, ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president my dad 5J of K screwed us at the Bay of Pigs and then he screwed us after the Cuban Missile Crisis We'll reveal why Lee Harvey Oswald isn't who they said he was I was under the impression that Lee was being trained for a specific operation, then we'll pull the curtain back on the cover-up. The American people need to know the truth. Listen to Who Killed JFK on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get

your podcasts. On March 16, 2000, two sheriff's deputies were shot in Atlanta. Jamil Alamin, a Muslim leader and former Black Power activist, was convicted. But the evidence was shaky, and the whole truth didn't come out during the trial. My name is Mosey Secret, and when I started investigating this case in my hometown, I uncovered a dark truth about America He says to me you want me to take care of them for not not doing something or paying you something like I said no What you talking about right here no idea? Who you know who you have become that's how he approached you. You know, he meant what he said. Yeah, I'm thinking How he approached you, you know he meant what he said. Yeah, I'm thinking

Murder in a minute, you know, I think that's what he was thinking From Tinderfoot TV came-side media and I heart podcasts radical is available now Listen to the new podcast radical for free on the I heart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts podcasts. Should we do some hot topics? Let's do it, baby. San Antonio Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa The stars at night are big and big. Hard of Texas. Damn, y'all rock. You all fucking rock. You rock, dude.

Here we go. Okay, thank you. Texas Mom, 33, who pretended to be her 13-year-old daughter at middle school where she recorded her day is found guilty of criminal trespass in centrist to six months of probation. Well, where was her daughter? Do we know where her daughter was? Yeah, I'm probably at home chilling. Okay.

So she like it poses her seventh grade daughter. Freaking poser. And she's a 33 year old woman. I mean, was she just trying to be like a TikTok star? It sounds like it's a huge, I thought a cool picture. She had like a hoodie up with sunglasses on. Oh.

She just looked like a unibomber. OK. Yeah. I don't care about that. I would kind of enjoy that. Like to just go to high school for a day as your kid and be like, Wasn't that a Drew Barrymore movie? Yeah.

Why is she in probation yet Drew Barrymore is? Yeah, why is the information yet Drew Barrymore is making millions of dollars? Interesting. Okay, Hollywood. Okay. And then the like, the reprimands were just some pretty bitch made. It was $700 fine.

Okay, and then a 100 hours community service. Dude, you could get someone to fake ass sign off on that so quickly. Yeah, right. Did you say six months? Did it say, yeah, six months, but that's fake, dude. Dude, that's a lot. Six months.

Have you ever got a service or a box? And community service? I had to do 40 hours of community service because I had, through a party at my house in high school. So I had to do 40 hours of community service. All I did was, I went to my girlfriend's church and I go, I'm gonna build you a cross to put in the front atrium and they're like, do it.

And I took four by fours, nailed them together and painted them brown and then turned it in and was like, there you go. And they go, how long did this take and I go 40 hours? Thank you, God! Nice. And I starved for 40 days and 40 nights.

And they were like, all right, fuck, we don't care. We got this sick ass cross now. Wait, they said, we were sick ass fuck, we don't care. We have a sick ass cross. Yeah, it was Pastor Brozar. Yeah, that church is sick as fuck.

It's like, fuck it, sick as fuck It's fucking what? It's always kind of cool to hear about Adams upbringing exactly the way it happens Yeah, man fuck that's fucking sick, dude. Two by fours now together. It's a sick fucking cross get out of here, dude Let's go get some fucking pizza Keep your own more parties, but what it what why did the mom go to high school? Was she like I think I she's probably weirdo. I think it was a TikTok thing.

I think she was trying to get the YouTube thing. Yeah, she uploaded it to YouTube. Well, it showed Garcia tanning her skin and dine her hair to resemble her then 13-year-old daughter before tanning NM Garcia and Rique's middle school. So did she go to be like, did she go to see if she could get away with it? Or did she go to be like, I'm gonna go see what they're teaching my daughter.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I just get too real. I think she just right here. Right now go ahead and stand up. We got a few questions. She's like, she's like math. What the fuck are they teaching them here? This sucks. I don't know. Yeah, then she was like, we need better security at our schools. That's what she was trying to do. See, that's what I'm saying. Was she going to like prove a point where she going to be like, I'm going to go see if I can be like my daughter. Because like, I'm not old yet, right? Yeah. No. She for sure went to like, fuck the quarterback and then she got caught and she's like,

security's bad though. And that's why I remember the name of the Drew Barrymore movie. It was never been kissed. And that's about her. For sure, she was like, it's my favorite movie. I'm gonna relive it. I'm gonna go fuck Declan. Was never been kissed about Drew Barrymore going back. Fucking the quarterback.

It was about Drew Barrymore going to find Declan as stuck in his deck. I gotta see that. Yeah, you should watch this. Declan is that your deck, I'm on top of that. Yeah, you said watch this. Yeah, I'm gonna set your deck on my top set. And who's the quarterback? Jacqueline. Probably Freddie Prince Jr.

Okay. Hit me with it. San Antonio tiny home community goes viral on social media. Okay. Yeah, I've been in the ass of tiny homes here. Well, tiny homes are fucking dope. That's something that like... I knew Kyle was gonna be deep into this.

I geek out on tiny homes. You know what I geek out on bigger homes. No, but I mean like, I do, I think it's cool. I think it's fucking what they do with their space. Well, it's cool for like a, like a tree house for your children to play. Well, that's why I dig on it. I dig because it's like they have like,

the way they use their space is so efficient. Okay? I'm a nice, that's why I dig on it. I did because it's like they have like the way they use their space is so efficient. Okay. I'm Hey nice. Why I dig it. I guess I'm kind of like maybe just live in like a home that's not tiny but then like also just just like Don't make a show or like do you shout it. For office, dude. Like nobody, like nobody gives a fuck. Just go live in a tiny house. Dude, I get it and shut the fuck up. Well, the crazy part about that is that like possible

or is there like a bowl horn on the top of every tiny house? Mm. That's cool. It's the Blues Brothers attitude on the tiny house. Yeah, so what the house referring to is the car. Well, essentially the tiny homes are just like an apartment. It's a 600 square foot one bedroom, two bath. They're fucking cool.

And you're like, yeah, that's an apartment. Yeah, it's cool. And then it's for $136,000. You got to buy this tiny. That's a lot. Yeah, it's kind of a lot. That's a lot. But compared to the bigger houses, you speak so fondly of, that's a pretty cheap. Yeah, but also it would be cool if we all moved into one and just fucking did a reality show. I like that, but that was the Workaholics. And it's called Big Doods in a tiny house. So for Workaholics, we all just had one trailer that we changed in together and it was like,

fucking fine. Yeah, we didn't know on Workaholics that you were allowed to have other trailers. We thought all stars of every show just changed in the same trailer together for seven years straight. And then weirdly, Durs said like before every scene, it's like a tradition to kiss each other and we're like, okay.

Yeah, Durs was big into that. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, and it worked. Hit me with it. Okay. So NASA plans to build a subdivision of homes on the moon. Okay. And it may be sooner than you think.

Oh shit. Thanks, Elon. Right. Hello, Julie. Yeah, I'll let you do this. The mask is going to build civilian housing on the lunar surface using 3D printing robots within two decades.

According to several of the organization scientists. I don't believe this. I don't believe this. Would you retire on the moon? I don't. Yeah, if it was possible, yeah, I might do that. Oh, yeah. I want good moon. Dude, I can't wait for everyone to move to the moon. I don't yeah if it was possible yeah I might do that. Oh yeah I would go I can't wait for everyone to move to the moon and then I finally get to like live somewhere dope

Right like where would you move? Like Florida. Dude my question is does the moon have a yeah, you know, how many guns they have in Florida? Nice. Does the moon have a river walk, like a made up, like a cool artificial river walk? It's gonna have a crater walk. Yeah, do you have the crater walk? I'm in, dude. I'm all the way in. Hey, what do you guys want me to say?

Texas, shut up. Yay! Yes, points! Shut up, you nerds. Yeah, I don't know. Move into the moon. Like, did they have the criterion app? What sucks about moving into the moon? And, did they have the criterion app? Well, what sucks about moving into the moon,

like, and being one of the first people to live there, it's gonna suck. Yeah, the first crew is gonna be that. Yeah, because they're like, the infrastructure may compromise of systems, including modern surface habitats, rovers. So that means like shrubs, rovers, meaning it's like shitty little vehicles.

F**king thing sucks! Collaboratory capabilities, so what? We all have to be scientists, no thanks. Power generation, well you have a generator, we all have generators, motherfucker. I don't. And storage. Who you got a shed? Great.

I don't have anything. Yeah. You're like, you can collect moon rocks in your storage. I feel like also the first crew that's going to live on the moon is going to be like super nerds. Like, nobody that cool, right? Yeah. No, there'll be like one really cool dude that is there.

That's like, oh fuck. Right. Oh, I blew it. Yeah, like I came way too early. I really thought I was going to be the funniest guy on the moon, but this guy is hilarious. That's awesome. That's cool. There's this like nerd who just has a ton of one-liners.

Damn, this guy's way smarter than I am. It rules, dude, and his fucking dick is huge. That's how you measure out for yourself. How do you know? Hey, wait for yourself. How do you know? Hey, wait. Okay. How do you know? Boom, boom, boom, boom.

I was like, what, everybody? How do you know it's dick so huge? You put them in the fish bowl. We're gonna read them. Wait, real quick, Blake, how do you know the guy's dick is so huge? When we do the like defrosting process, it's like dick is hell of like just out. You can't- Oh right, you're like, wait, that like defrosting process, it's like dick is hell of like just out.

You can't- Oh right. You're like wait, that's defrosting. That's your dick defrosting. That's defrosting. I was frozen, it was cold as fuck in there dude. Dude, I got out of the, I have a cold plunge in my house and so I was in the cold plunge I just got out of it and I'm about to get in the shower, and my wife comes in, and she goes,

oh my God. And I go, why, what's up? And she goes, I've never seen your dick that small. Yeah, cool. Number. Dude, the head was like barely peeking out of my body. I looked down and it's just like, I know.

Oh yeah. I thought I liked it. Sometimes you gotta take shelter, you know? yeah that that boy was creeping creeping creepin Did you did you tell her this is like an evolutionary? Properly, I said hey welcome to your two of marriage babe. This is your life now This is my this is the real size of my day The boy you explain it the better I'm gonna strap on this entire time. It's so funny. It's like you only had a strap on of six other inches. You treated your dick like

secret boss. You're like the whole time it was small. But you already married me. And you said it was for my personality. And she was like, well, you had a strap on, but like, of just a normal sized dick. Yeah. Yeah, what a... Yeah, I did. Why weren't you hogging out, bro?

Should we do some hot hot Q&A? I would love that, dude. I would come. So you guys got some hot cues. We got some sweet, sweet A. Hot, hot, hot. So A, the Ask Kyle. Can you drop the concept album, Friends of Aliens?

Or Friends with Aliens featuring hit single? I'm fucking Aliens tonight. Oh, wow. You're very shagging. You're shagging, yeah. So should we say, let's say what it is. Yeah. This is an album that I made when I, well, it's,

it's album I made when I, I like what 2006 or something like that around Now that is 2008 or nine. Yeah, but it's like a album. It's concept album about a guy who goes to space and he's having trouble on Earth He's not fucking anybody on earth. He's not having any look So he decides to go to space is that Blake and I Dated roommates. Well, the setup is a story is that Blake and I dated roommates. Well, the setup is a story. Yeah, about it. Blake and I dated roommates.

And so we were always gone over at their house in our house that we shared in, was a sad and lonely place. And we would come home and Kyle's making music. And we're like, oh, what are you playing, dude? He's like, you guys want to hear the new song? And we're like, sure. And then it's a whole song about him

being sad and lonely and going to outer space and He meets an alien. Yep, and the alien isn't man or woman. No, it's a trotgenous. It's androgynous It's just an alien. Yep, and they fuck Tonight cuz I'm sad and lonely Yeah, I'm fucking but yeah, it was this time. It's a good song and we were very worried. It's a good album. Yeah, that song So I think there's there is actually like 12 songs that exist Right now that do take you through a bit of an arc drugs and tacos tacos and drugs Dude take a little bit of dank mix it with a little crank and put it in a taco shell I want to do a boat so Ricky G. Ask who came up with wait hang on what you said ever gonna come out

Huh are you gonna drop it the question was are you ever gonna drop it? Yeah, I still ice I'm learning how to play the whole fucking thing on the piano right now, just because it's like, dude, you could just release it, the thing you've already recorded. I could, I could. Okay, do that, do that. I just don't think it's near yet, I just don't think it's fully realized yet. It's there, it's realized. It is. Well, it's almost been 20 years, so. I know, it's that thing, it's that thing that I have that I constantly think about I think you're good to just release

This is like that dr. Dre album that he's been working on. Yeah, the one about the the planets. Yeah, he did that shit about planets Dude bro, so we go universal I'm working on who came up with well you brought this spaghetti, we told you not to bring this spaghetti. What the fuck is that? What the fuck are you talking about? I don't know that means. Ricky G, what the fuck are you talking about? Actually, I'm gonna say, what's his name?

Ricky G? Ricky G? I'm gonna say Ricky G came up with that. No, that was, that's literally Ricky Jervase. And we wanna say, what's up, dude? Ricky Jervase. Woo! That's cool, he came to the show.

What is that weird question? What is that from? Is that from extras? Is that from the office? I have no clue. So Daniel R.S. who is someone that Y'all would want to work with? Who do you guys want to work with? Each other.

That's it. No one else. Oh. That's sweet. Wesley Snipes, mostly. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be cool. That's easy. That's sweet. Wesley Snipes, mostly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be cool. That's easy.

That's easy. You could say that, but you know, one. Yeah, I want to kick it with blade. I would like to work with Goldberg from Mighty Ducks. OK. Because then he became a meth addict. Yeah. And now, yeah, he did.

And then now he's sober again. And I think that'd be a cool, like like come up story. Sure. And the story's gonna be like how him and me get off meth together. Wait, are you on meth? Yeah, it's my way. You know how like Chris Brad did a movie and he got like all buffed. This will be my excuse to get really skinny. Okay, okay. That's cool. Way, way skinny. Okay. I think I would I think I want to work with Christian Slater Okay, yeah Perfect. I don't know. I just think so. I just thought you look cool back in the day

I think I'd like to work with him at some point in my career I get to you know the opportunity to work with a lot of people So maybe I will work with Christian. I bet you will Let me see. I would love to do a combo project with like Woody Allen and Mel Gibson I just like get those guys in the room and see what happens, you know, I see that fucking disaster my guy You know just to see what you know, you know, you know, we Just to see so Savino and Marisa, they ask, Adam and Ders, can you please recreate,

sweet 16, I love y'all, that's what she says. Sweet 16 was, I don't know if we could really recreate it, but essentially, they yell at you as my daughter. Yeah. Yeah. What you did! No, memory you were like, it's my birthday, I want that purse. I'm wearing a wig and I'm a little girl in a special 16

I go dad if I don't get that purse I'm just gonna die No, you say you're gonna piss on the bed. I'm gonna piss on the bed And then I'm I'm sure I say something like well honey Then I guess you're gonna have to go piss on your bed. And then it cuts to me going, yeah! Yeah! And I'm pissing on a bed. I think it's our comedy.

Yeah, the Comedy Central exec saw that and they were like, we gotta give these guys the show. Absolutely, absolutely. You're still gonna send it. So Julia would like to know, Adam Devine, how was it going from workaholics to pitch? Perfect, okay, and I was like dude, it's pretty tight bottle. Please don't stop the music Check me out. It's in late

Making my way I gotta give my body moving to suck the sweat away Yo, Durs fucking rhythm section We're getting good at that. Yeah, I mean, you know, when you stand up and dance, I can't help but just, dude. That was fucking awesome. Awesome. That was, I mean, doing Bridge Perfect was super fun

because on Workaholics, we had to do everything. So it was like, a lot of us thinking. And on that show, on Pitch Perfect, I didn't have to do any thinking. I just, please just stop your thing. I just shook my dick around, made a movie. So, uh, Catalina Rull says, the people want points.

Please just say, if you are an American gladiator, what would your name be? You say American gladiator? If you're an American gladiator, what would your name be? You say American gladiator? I already lived by its blazer. Yeah, blazer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How about, how about, uh, big earthquake? Yeah.

Big earthquake. Yeah, big earthquake. Big earthquake. Why not like Richter scale, first name Rick. Richter scale. Richter scale. Richter scale. No, I think mine's fine.

I think big Earthquake. That's really good. This flies on the tail. I mean, that's like a seven year old came up with. I had thinking big earthquake. Yeah, dude. No, it made me laugh in my head. So I said it out loud, hoping others would laugh.

Dude, fucking you, I'm changing mind to terrible accident. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Mine is too fat for spandex. See, these are good. These are mouthful. These are good.

Ders. He's a good. Mine is probably going to be a fours brother weirdo. Science. So this person's name is Adam. Brushing your teeth or wiping your butt. You have to give up one. Which one? Fucking why bitches. I know exactly what I would do.

What is why? I know exactly what I would do. I would give up one. I would give up one. I would give up one. I would give up one. I would give up one. I would give up one. I would give up one. I would give up one. I would give up one. Which one? Fucking why, bitches. Well, I know exactly what I would do. What?

Why? I know exactly what I would do. I would give up wiping my ass. Oh, man. Because I can fucking get into a shower and spread my ass cheeks. I can't get into a shower and fucking brush my molars. OK? OK. So that's mine. OK. Here's what I would do. I can't get into a shower and fucking brush my molars. Okay? Okay.

Okay. So that's mine. Okay. And here's what I would do. I would say brushing. Why are you so pissed, but go ahead. But this is going to be time. Because, this is going to be time for you cannot get into a shower.

Okay. No, it will be time. Yeah. And that is going to be a horrible event. A horrible time. But to bro, your mouth. You would give up brushes. Here's what I would do is I would.

Here we go. But then I would always carry a gang of mouthwash on me. There you go. I'm always a smart, I didn't think about that. Like that life hack away better than you. Yeah, I totally. He was always just near a shower ready to spread his asshole apart.

Yeah, I haven't thought about this for a little bit longer. I think I went the wrong way. Yeah. Kyle, Kyle, I'm with you. I feel like if you get on the right schedule, you're near a shower when you need to be. That's what I was going to say, but they're saying there's going to be times.

I hate you having to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have You can't hold it. You can't hold it. San Antonio and you had some tamales and you fucking got to take a dookie and there's... I mean, there's this right up there. You can jump in the river. The river walk. That's what's there for. Yeah, they got pools everywhere. Fountains are everywhere. You're right.

Actually, Adam, I'm with Kyle. I'm going to shit and never wipe my ass ever again. It's also kind of like... Funnier. Yeah. It's like, look, there's Blake who never wipes his ass. Never goes really. But if someone never brushes their tea like runs, how he actually runs, yeah, he runs like this.

This is how Blake actually runs, which makes me believe you never wipe your ass. It is interesting. Because this is how Blake runs. But that's because that's how he eats his pants up, dude. That's because his teeth from the face. It's because it's filled with too much of that, dude. And I would love to run, but I'm wearing cowboy boots,

and I literally don't know how to run in these motherfuckers. And I tucked them into my jeans. So am I like the biggest Texas cook in the world or what? Yep. So Ryan Ray asked, Hola, amigos, congrats, Adam, on becoming a father. What is the thing you look forward to the most? Pumping my child and making him believe he had a dead old brother.

Yes, sir. And guys, what has been the most rewarding experience of fatherhood? And if you don't say punk in your child, you're a bitch. It's the pranks. It's all the pranks you pull. Yeah, all the fun. It's really fun. Dude, I had a really rewarding experience the other day when we went down to visit you. And and and my son was like, my son's into drawing and my son was like teach me something cool and Adam was there and he fucking pulled out the cool S from the 70s. This the stuC. Yes

The I don't know if it was from the 70s The stuC. I know I know it as a stuC. Yes,2. I did do some research and it's not a Stuce S. That is a Mandela thing. It's not a Stuce S at all. That's a Mandela. Oh, this now. It's a Mandela effect. That line line line line connect connect top top bottom

is not from Stuce at all. I know. I was doing well as the elder of the crew. I was definitely doing that before Stuce existed for sure. I know, it's not. I was doing well as the elder of the crew, I was definitely doing that before Stoocy existed for sure. It's from the 70s. It's called the cool S. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

But the cool, your son draw that and then you fucking rolled this story out. No, no, no, no, sorry. Yeah, Stoocy put it on the shirt though. So he told the boring story because his son drew a cool S after I showed him out of the draw, the cool S. The next day though, he did it all by himself and I was so fucking proud. That's his.

So fucking proud of my kid. Yes, cool. We used to do that for like, if you drew like a superhero character with had like braids or whatever, you would just do that for like the braid of the hair. Oh, interesting. Because they can keep going forever, dude. Did you know that? Yeah, try it when you get home. I will say like a rewarding moment. I was saying to the

guys earlier, my kids watched Best in Show the other night. And at the very end of the movie, there's a couple that's like in therapy and they're like, we're glad we got ready to the other dog. And now we've got a new dog, and the therapist looks down at his leg, and the dog is humping his leg. And my kid goes, like, what's the dog doing? And I go, the dog is trying to have sex with his leg. And my son lost his mind. And laughed so hard, and grabbed a pillow,

and put it over his face. And I was like, perfect. And and like put it over his face. And I was like perfect and then I held it on his face. I knew. And I said, come in. If he died, now it's a perfect death. It's funny. And he can go, I think that is what's going to be the most rewarding thing though is that I'm laughing at something that you actually find funny.

Like the first time that you say 69 and they go, right, you're like, you dog. Oh yeah. You dirt dog. I'm a good dad. You do. You know what, I am a good dad. I'm a good dad.

What hotel room are we staying in for 20? And they're like, oh shit. Like, you give a little way. Yeah, well, I've done okay, haven't I honey. I do think I need to chill on like the winks to my kids about things that are funny. I'm like, and they're like have an eye on honey. I do think I need to chill on the winks to my kids about things that are funny. I'm like, and they're like, what are you doing? Yeah.

Four talks. Well, guys, any takebacks, any apologies, any epic slams? Takebacks. You know, the school shooter stuff. Do I do it right? Do I do it right? Do I? Do I do it right?

Or you're taking that back? No, what I was going to say is like, if we could just circle back. Yeah. We'll do what? I thought. Are we doing takebacks and circlebacks? Yeah, you can't. Circlebacks. Yeah. Take it. Take back apology to circlebacks. I just want to do one circleback. Yeah. To apologize. Okay, that's big of you. I want to take back my my Jerry Seinfeld impression. You guys made me do it.

It wasn't. Made you do it. Yeah, like I do it out of nowhere. It was very out of nowhere. I did something and then you're like, oh, fucking put the spotlight. And I'm like, I don't want to. Hey, so is it a takeback or is it an epic slam

on us making you do it? Yes, epic slam to you guys for me, fucking not being good at that. What? Epic slam on you. Epic slam was for that. But I want to double down on everybody watching me jerk off as a young kid. Yeah.

Nice. Good. I also, I would like to double down on me fucking the couch into oblivion dude. And now you see a little taste of what it's like in my bedroom. Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh! And I guess for like a Spotify or YouTube recommendation, like go ahead and listen to that I'm gonna get you close. It'll get you somewhere. Probably not there though. You might not get you there, but it's taking you somewhere. Actually, I'm gonna go.

Yeah. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm. Okay. Probably not there though. It's gonna get you. You might not get you there. Actually, I'm gonna go. Yeah. I'm actually gonna jump

out of your moving car. Kyle. Um, Kyle, maybe I'll do like a seasonal summation. Okay, I like this. And just never been in the spirit of Thanksgiving. I'm very thankful to be up here doing this with you guys. I'll thank that. That's all I got. That's really nice. Yeah, this is the first show back for Thanksgiving. It's gonna air in five years. It's okay. I'm very thankful for everyone that showed up tonight. Yeah. That's what I'm seeing. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And I ate turkey on Thanksgiving, I'm sorry. Yeah, Adam says it's gonna come out. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Wait, turkey? Wow. Wow. And I will apologize for eating turkey on Thanksgiving. Of Rugo, what? Yeah, and shout out to everybody. We're seeing your little Spotify, like, re-tweets to us.

Yeah, thanks for listening to the fucking blog. Yeah, thank you guys for following this stuff. We love you. It says that our audience has grown by 30% this year. Yeah. It's pretty fucking big. Yeah, yeah. A lot of big 1% was out there.

And the fact that anyone listens to our podcast that much is, well, first of all, get a life. Yeah. But it does, it means a lot to us, and thank you guys for listening. We really appreciate you guys. Yeah. And thank you, CNN, too.

We have some... Let me get a couple of those. That's the best. Let's go! Let's go! Oh, we got, we got... Say it! What?

What's the... Please don't stop the music. Woo! Thank you so much, San Antonio. You guys. You guys. This has been a blast. Thank you for coming out.

Thank you so much. This is another episode of... This is... This is... So much, this is another episode of this is sported. And again. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history. That's Rob Breiner. Rob called me, so would Ed O'Brienin and ask me what I knew about this crime. Well, ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president? Then we'll pull the curtain back on the cover-up.

The American people need to know the truth. Listen to Who Killed JFK on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Daniel Tosh, host of new podcast called Tosh Show. I'll be interviewing people that I find interesting, so not celebrities, and certainly not comedians. We'll be covering topics like religion, travel, sports, gambling, but mostly it will be about being a working mother. If you're looking for a podcast that will educate and inspire

or one that will really make you think, this isn't the one for you. Listen to Toss Show in the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. On March 16th, 2000, two sheriff's deputies were shot in Atlanta. A Muslim leader and former Black Power activist was convicted.

But the evidence was shaky, and the whole truth didn't come out during the trial. My name is Mosey Secret, and when I started investigating this case in my hometown, I uncovered a dark truth about America. From Tinder for TV, Camside Media, and I Heart Podcasts, Radical is available now. Listen to the new podcast, Radical, for free on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. podcast, radical, for free on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.