This Is Important - Ep 203: Ben Franklin Had So Much Rizz

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

Today, this is what's important: Chuck town, alien art, weed, sports fans, khakis, wigs, Ben Franklin, bathing, farts and boners on planes, baby poops, getting old, & more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Justin Rutherford. Doctor, father, family man. It was the perfect cover to hide behind. Detective Weaver said, I'm sure you know why we're here. I was like, what in the world is going on? Listen to Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. More, more, more, more, more, better. Hey, I'm Melissa Fumero and I'm Stephanie Beatriz.

You may know us from television. Nine, nine. And now we're here with our very own podcast, More Better with Stephanie and Melissa. Join us as we take on topics like listening to yourself, the challenge of self-care, and making friends as an adult. We're gonna share our struggles, we're gonna speak to experts,

and we're gonna share everything we learned with you. Listen to More Better with Stephanie and Melissa on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Rachel Zoe here, and we're going back to the Rachel Zoe Project for a very special takeover on my podcast, Climbing in Heels. Come with me as I take you back to season one to give you all the behind the scenes

details and drama. I'll be joined by some special guests that'll be helping me share the real stories behind the most iconic moments in the show. So do not miss this special takeover of Climbing in Heels. It's going to be bananas. Listen to Climbing in Heels with Rachel Zoe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on This Is Important. We're all on agreeance that you get rock hard on airplanes, right? Correct?

Whoa, man, look at all this shit that's coming out of my scalp. Ben Franklin, have good dick. All I do on the way to baggage claim is fart. Let's go. We're in. Let's gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'm renting this, I'm in Charleston now, guys. Kyle, shut up. Add a chili name to it. I'm chilling in Charleston. I'm in Charleston. Go ahead.

I'm chilling in Charleston. Friendship. Sorry, holy smokes, you have a four. Kyle style. How's Charlie Town? It's great. It's great, so yeah. They call it Chuck Town, actually.

Oh, damn it. Oh, Charles Chuck. Chuck Town, makes sense. Yeah, they call it Chuck Town. I don't cosign that, I I think that's I don't like that I'd like Charlie town a little better It's a little more fun Chuck Chuck just seems like a like what I think of that movie Chuck and Buck suck and fuck Right, right, right. Yeah, had you seen that? It's not movie good. I have seen it. I think

Yeah, is it good I thought it was was good start to grow up good. It's weird. It's Let's explain. I think we've explained that movie before it comes up all the time We we talked about this movie constantly we keep repitching. Yeah, I like to watch five minutes of it before I go to bed every night What's the name of it? What is the name of it? It's Chuck and Buck. It's Chuck and Buck. Yeah It's it's the reason that I always think about it is I always think about like how fun it'd be to fuck one of my friends, you know? That's what I'm always thinking about. Cool thoughts. It rolls off the tongue. Adam, we're on live. It rolls off the tongue. We're recording. We are recording. I know Chuck and Buck second puck. It rolls off the tongue Chuck and Buck suck and fuck I bet Mike white the writer was oh He was so happy with himself when he got the truck and bucks

I feel like that might have even come before anything else where he was just like Chuck and Buck sucking fucking goes What is this movie? This is a movie. Yeah, I have to write that movie. Absolutely art with a good title So yeah, Chuck time. Yeah, I feel like you can maybe start pitching the Charlie Town thing around even though people might not like it right now But if you start to put it in the street, they call it Chuck town already, dude Yeah, Chuck towns cool, too. But you say the yo, I'm bringing Charlie town It's like when we went to Vancouver and start calling the Cove and people were like and we don't really like that But no more you say it the more you say the Cove Yeah, the more it works.

It feels good on the tongue, the Coo. But Charlie Town just feels like a half step from Charleston, Charlestown. It doesn't feel like enough. It feels like it's a... Or like a place where a bunch of like POWs still kick it in Vietnam. Oh, shit. Like, I fell in love out here. I stayed.

It's Charlie Town. Okay. I stayed here. Damn. I still haven't learned I didn't know. I feel in love out here. I stayed. It's Charlie town. I stayed here. Damn. I still haven't learned the language. Exactly. I've been here for 27 years. I have Amazon send me my ruffles and I'm good. It takes six weeks.

Not bad. Not bad for where I'm living. Try to reduce fat. Who I'm renting from, they're great people. But the woman bought Maybe two and not not a joke. Maybe two hundred pieces of art around this house The house now is covered in art, which is very cool, but it's all soon this one so that you've rented this before Yeah, I've rent I've read this my third year rent in the same house. She bought new art brand new water brand new one

So you got it got a glow up. Yeah, kinda regular, like a lot of cows, which I'm into, you know. Cows are tight, that's like far side shit, I like that. Being a bovon. Being a bovon. But now it's all from this exact same artist, and I'd say maybe 40% of it is alien based.

Like alien production. Really? Yeah. Really? So the cows are being beamed up and stuff? Yeah. And like cowboys are getting beamed up and like there's an alien driving, he's getting pulled over.

There's like an alien like eating, drinking soup. Just alien shit everywhere. This sounds like the fucking like Far Side comment. That sounds like Kyle's garage. Like here, I'll show you. Yeah, what's that? Yeah. Okay, a little walking sounds like Kyle's garage. Yeah, what's that? Yeah. Okay, a little walking tour.

I like this. If you're listening, we're seeing, does Gary Larson own this house? Oh, wow. Okay, it's a very traditional, like green-headed egg-shaped alien. Yeah, this is an alien on a plastic flying saucer that has landed into a field almost hitting a cow.

And also did look look who's in it. Yeah, this is a double whammy. There's a cow there too. The cow. So and then just in this room here's another one of like some sort of family. Oh wow. So that's like another plane's like kind of western scene with cacti in it and we have a saucer, classic saucer. Adam, can we see can you read, make out the signature there on it? Can you tell us who this is? I mean, I don't know.

I've been trying to figure it out. It looks like an M and a D somewhere. Is it the same on every piece of art? Is this like somebody just like bought the guys, the artist's estate? Yeah, did she get drunk one day at a fucking swap meet and just bought the whole booth? It's a wine and cheese fair. Dude, I was like, it has to be like a a Charleston local local artist.

Yeah, I thought so. I was like, maybe. But they're very in love. I know the husband. They're very in love. Oh, they're older. They're in their 70s. He knows about it. I'm not saying they're not in love. Oh, yeah. Maybe. Maybe it's part of the it, I'm not saying they're not in love. Oh yeah, maybe. It's part of the whole, I bet it's true.

Anything goes in Chuck Town. It's Charlie Town. Yeah, well, Charlie Town. Charlie Town, Charlie Town. Charlie Town gets weird. Charlie's town. But I guess she's bought it, she buys it, she just found it on eBay, and she says,

she's like, I've got a real problem, I've done that to our house But then I bought hundreds of pieces for other people What so she's just addicted to buying like these arts buying this one guy's art and she just I mean has to be keeping him wildly busy Just painting. I mean, that's why it keeps going back to aliens is like just painting I mean that's why he keeps going back to aliens he's like alien now he's in a grocery store alien now basically just doing like things you

would find on pogs like his next set is gonna be like poison with skulls and like eight balls we don't know yeah but it would be cool you don't know come on bro dude I was about to go in on you, but as soon as you said, like, eight balls and skulls and stuff, I was like, yeah, that that is Pog Art. I feel like every Pog was either an alien, an eight ball, or it said poison and it has skull. It's Jose Trulio. You found him?

Yeah, you just type in eBay cow alien art. Like what? There's, you're saying this guy's got it on lock over there? Well, you do, yeah, well, that's, and it just popped right up. Yeah. Yeah, it's the first one, Jose Trujillo. Trujillo, I can't pronounce it,

but not cheap these things. 36 by 36 original collectible UFO cows alien landscape. 5200 bucks. Oh my God. But that's for three by three. So we gotta assume the smaller one behind you. These are smaller. They're not like huge.

They're like this big. Those are still a G. Those are still probably 1200 bucks a pop. Oh yeah. Are they originals? Those are not prints or? No, they're paintings. These are originals. What a pop. Oh, yeah. Are they originals? Those are not prints or? No, they're, they're paint. They're paintings. These are originals.

What the hell? Oh my God. Oh, look at this. He's a young man. Okay. Okay. Like a child. Well, I don't know. I'm just describing him. No, he's like, he looks like he's probably 30 top. So like, so like our age?

Okay. Hello. Wow, okay. Hello He looks like somebody who would come up and go I grew up watching you he's our elder Yeah, that's crazy, which is cool. It's cool when that happens That just happened the other day at the grocery store for me this Grown man with a beard was like I grew up watching Yeah, a guy who looks like an accountant who would like take care of your money very well says I grew up watching you That's terrifying Yes, yeah

He's got like pleated pants and like a tucked-in shirt. That's fucking starched to the max. Yeah, he rock climbs on the weekend What else it's not until I read I meet? Charleston locals that are young people that are professionals and they seem like adults Charlie time right? Yeah. Well well they dress, they wanna, there's different signifiers, especially how people dress in the South. Like in LA, everyone's a fucking slob pixie. Okay.

Well, everyone's trying to look young. Like everyone's like trying to be like, it'll be me. Yeah, they're trendy, they're like neon colors. They're like lots of- Yeah, everyone, wait, wait, we're just explaining how Blake dresses. Wait.

Lots of busy neon colors that claim to be young. Like- Right. I see Blake kind of getting offended right now. Yeah, no, I'm waiting to hear you guys roll out what LA style is. I'm hearing neon. LA is really trendy and like bright.

Dude, which whatever Blake is wearing, whatever Blake is wearing. I'll go on the record. I think LA has the worst style possible, I think. Sure, that makes sense. It's a cornucopia of people. It's a, it's a, it's a, a melting pot. You can't really hammer it down.

Everybody's from everywhere there. Yeah. Are you doing the word of the day now too? Yeah, wait a second. Cornucopia. Did you just say melting pod? It made Adam go, oh yeah, I forgot to look up a word. That's how fucking cornucopia that shit was. Dude, I heard cornucopia, Dyrus nailed it

because I heard cornucopia and I was like, what was the word of the day again? Because I looked at it. I don't know. You guys are gonna, it's a bad word of the day because it doesn't roll off the tongue. You guys are gonna be like, what is that? Okay.

Did you say melting pod? I did, yes. Los Angeles is one big podcast in which we all gather. But is it a melting pot or a melding pot? It's melting. Because I know I sound dumb right now. Yeah, you do, you do. A melting pot?

Well, meld is like mind meld as well, so I thought. I know I sound dumb right now. Yeah, you do. You do. A melding con? What? Well, meld is like a, meld is like mind meld as well. Oh. How else do you use the word meld besides mind meld? A word that was probably made up for Star Trek. Kyle, this is one of your six joints a day. This is one we really notice the sixth, the sixth joint, okay? Is when you say things like this.

Kyle, you're saying these things out loud, Kyle. Hey, I did not smoke six joints today yet. I've just taken a blunt to the dome and then I played three hours of pickleball, all right? Oh! So what's up, dog? Oh, what's up, dog? Dude.

One blunt, that's it, one blunt. Why are you smoking a blunt? Isn't that harsh as fuck or what? What? Smoking a blunt? You took a solo blunt to the dome? Why are you smoking a blunt? Isn't that harsh as a harsh as fuck or what what smoking a blunt? You took a solo blunt to the dome. Why are you hitting a blunt as opposed to just something a little smoother? I love them I actually dislike blunt, you know why though? No, no, no, no, it's because I have them It's because they're it's because they're here from the podcast tour

I finally cracked into all the free weed that we got and And I'm like, dude, where's our weed? Where's our weed? I was thinking about this the other day. I couldn't sleep and I was like, I need my gut. Whoa, he's sitting on a whole fucking pile of gummies, your brother. Oh. Smoke weed every day.

I think he has it. I think he said he still has it. Yeah, he, Adam. I bet he does. He had it. I don't think he's ingested it if you'd like it back. Well, he might be selling it. No, he says he keeps it in his trailer.

Yeah. And every time he goes in it, it is so pungent that you feel like you're getting high just being in his trailer. And I'm like, you know what the easy thing is? Is he ascend it to us. Trailer? What does that mean? Yeah, he's got a trailer in his backyard. Yeah. So is it like melted altogether into one super? No, it's mel a trailer in his backyard. Yeah. So is it like melted all together into one super?

No, it's melded. It melded into one giant nug. It melded together. Oh yeah, yeah, your gummies are fucked. All the chocolates are fucked. Yeah, that's a melting pot. Yeah, buddy. I'm looking up melding pot.

I'm looking it up. I don't care. Fuck you guys. I know it is. It's melting for sure. Nobody got that? Yeah. That might be my greatest points of all time.

Here you go. Yes, points! Why does it say melding pot when I just look it up? It says it. Well, cause there's a lot of, there's a lot of fucking idiots out there. Mel, I'll tell you what. Hey, you mix joints.

Hey, you mix joints every day on melding pot. Did you say that already? No, I was talking about the gummies in the trailer of melting pot. Oh, okay, great. Melting pot. And here it is. Yes, points!

Oh! Okay, yeah, it's a melting pot. By the way, I'm bringing back Razor Roof, but it's kinda like pushing ghosts away. You're bringing back, you see me? I'm bringing back the backwards fitted, so we're all kinda just bringing some stuff back. Okay, yeah, yeah.

Now we're melding. Backwards fitted is good. See, when Blake says he's bringing it back though, it makes me go like he saw some cool young Twitch star. What? LA style, yeah. Yeah, bro. Yeah, some like 16, 15 year old Twitch star and he's just like writing notes of like cool fashions that he can get back into. Honey, I'll be right back. I'm gonna go cruise Melrose real quick.

Yeah, because what I lived with, because me and Kyle lived with Blake for seven years. Yes, we did. Each of us. Each of us. And it was a little overlap, but seven years together. Blake would, you would take a long time to pick out an outfit. No, no, come on. He seems like he just throws it together. But he, I think he's very Sky conscious. I think that he, his father is style conscious. Whenever I see your dad, he's always sharp dressed.

Oh yeah. They're, they're hip. Oh, and look at his internet is conveniently chunking. It's conveniently chunking. Right. He just, as soon as we kind of go in on him a little bit. He just kicks his router funny Yeah, he's unplugging something. Yeah, he's got a chunk button that he can press Chunking a boy chunking hot damn. Okay, come on in Blake speak. Go go Blake. Oh, we got you Yeah, you're my back cuz I feel like I just got I feel like I just got torched and I'm back Okay, but the fact of the matter is is I'm bringing Chuck and yeah, I feel a little hot

As soon as you guys start making fun of me my internet knows to fucking cut out Okay, we're gonna let you catch up like we're not making fun of you. That's the thing it. We're not making fun We're saying that you are the coolest dress you're gonna seem younger Yeah, when I started chunking, that's not what you were saying You said I was I was ogling fucking like twitch stars and I'm biting their style. Yeah, but you don't that's how fashion works That's how trends work. That's how you was that a bad thing to go cruise Melrose I was just saying that that's what you were doing. If you think that's a bad weird thing. I don't know you pick up on trends What's wrong with that? Yeah, you you notice you notice things Because you're definitely not the only one who's wearing a backwards fitted cap right now and you know that

Soul dude, he is actually the only one wearing a backwards fitted cap I am I mean like in on planet Earth or in LA you're definitely not you're definitely not dude. Hey Kyle great call Thank you. He's not the only one. He said he's single-handedly... He's not! And he needs to know that. He needs to know that. Allegedly! Yes, we all believe that.

No, absolutely not. But you know that the 90s are back. Yes, they are. The Oakland A's backwards hat. That's a very 90s look. And I think you know that, Blake. And that's okay. I mean, think about all the times you've seen a fitted backwards hat.

Yes, in the 90s it was Ken Griffey. Oh baby, give me that Mariners cap. 90s it's Ricky Henderson in the early 90s. This is backwards fitted caps? That's what we're talking about? Yes, yes. I'm saying it went Ken Griffey Jr. Hey Frank Thomas, I go straight to like Jay and Silent Pop.

Fred Durst guys, Fred Durst. Now we're just yelling about people that have worn backwards fitted hats? Specifically in the 90s. Yes, yeah. We are, yeah, on planet Earth and on planet Earth. This is important. The Otz was Fred Durst and then the 2020s is your boy,

Blake Anderson, I'm bringing back the backwards fitted. It's back, thank you. I would like, give yourself some applause there, Blake. Hit us with some applause. There you go, points to that. Yes, points! Durst is the king of the fitted backwards hat, right? What was his cap?

What was that? What is his cap? A red Yankees cap. It was a red Yankees. Oh, it's a red Yankees cap, oh, okay. So by the way, that's whack. Red Yankees sounds like a cool rap group. That's whack. Yeah, that's not really that cool. I feel like you could just find a red hat. It doesn that's whack red Yankees sounds like a cool rap group. That's yeah, that's yeah

That's not really that cool. I feel like you could just find a red hat It doesn't have to be Yankees. Is he from New York? I certainly don't think so. Why does it a red Yankees hat? Hey, I wait hang on. Will you guys unpack that a little bit more for me? Why why is a red Yankees hat whack and like why can it why were you like he could get a different one? That's not the color of the team. Yeah, I understand that, but so what? It's like a special color. That's not cool to me. Yeah, okay.

And also to me, Yankees hats aren't cool. I don't like the Yankees. Okay, okay. They're kinda do-do. The A's are cool because the A's suck. I'm living in a nightmare. I like to root for an underdog. So to me, the A's, I'm pro that.

The Yankees is like, yeah, I like whenever like a team wins, the Golden State, and suddenly everybody's the biggest fan ever. You know? It's bandwagon. Bandwagon, yeah. Yes, it's more fun to like the losers. Yeah. Like, Ders, in your terms, everybody's a Michael Phelps fan.

Like, OK, wow, you like Michael Phelps, but who likes the Canadian swimmer? Who likes Mike Kavik? I know what you're saying. Exactly. No, when he made it, you know what he tried to. Yeah, we all know what that means. We all know what it means. I know what it means. Touched out in 2008 by a hundredth of a second. But absolutely, it's Kavik. We're on the Kavik story. He tried to appeal.

He followed up. Big C? Big C or is it Kavik? Kavik or K? Mike Kavik. Milorad, Milorad. Yeah, he, yeah. So you get it.

So Michael Phelps is the Yankees. And then what was his name? Ryan Kavik is? Mike Kavik. The A is Mike Kavik. I mean, he grew up Mike Kavik is Mike Kavik. The A's Mike Kavik. I mean, he grew up Mike Kavik. Then he changed it. To what?

What did he change it to? Milla Rod. Cause he's got a, I don't know where he's from. He's his European parents, but I think he grew up in the States and swam for. Oh, I thought it was a gender change. Cause isn't swimming is kind of like, there's kind of like some stuff.

It's actually mandatory. Now you have to do it. Oh my God. Change your, switch gender. Yeah, it's crazy. That's a good call. Way worse than luggage talk. Way worse.

I'm glad I got out before, you know, I had to have my wiggle waggle dangle dong, you know, for sure. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and nowal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Stacey thought she had the perfect husband. Doctor, father, family man. It was the perfect cover for Justin Rutherford to hide behind.

It led me into the house, and and I mean it was like a movie. He was sitting at our kitchen table. The cops were guarding him. Stacey learned how far her husband would go to save himself. I slept with a loaded gun next to my bed. You not just say I wish he was dead, you actually gave details and explained different scenarios on how to kill him.

He to me is scarier than Jeffrey Dahmer. Listen to Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. More, more, more, more, more better. Hey, I'm Melissa Fumero. or wherever you get your podcasts. More, more, more, more, more, better. Hey, I'm Melissa Fumero and I'm Stephanie Beatriz. You may know us from television. Nine, nine. And now we're here with our very own podcast,

More Better with Stephanie and Melissa. We've known each other for thousands of years. And we've been through it all together. And we are totally killing it. We are literally the best. No notes. Life is great. None of that was true.

JK, JK, join us on our excellent adventure as we take on topics like listening to yourself. There were a lot of red flags, and it did take me eight years to get there, but I got there. The challenge of self-care. This is important, because now you're about to be a mom of two kids. And making friends as an adult.

We're gonna share our struggles, just white knuckling through life, babe. We're gonna speak to experts, and we're gonna share everything we learned with you. Listen to more better with Stephanie and Melissa as part of the Michael Duda Podcast Network, available on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. I'm Mark.

I'm Greg. I'm Brendan. And this is a trailer for a new podcast called Get It to Dutch, a Screenwriter's Journey. It's about screenwriting. And a journey. The three of us play aspiring screenwriters on a quest to get a hit Hollywood script to famous producer Dutch Huxley.

Well, I would say one of us is aspiring and the other two are sort of struggling. Which one of us is aspiring? Well, they're gonna have to listen to the podcast. Hmm, but I don't know and I made the podcast. Well, I made the podcast and I think you guys were along for the ride. Each week we bring in a script,

we read it and then we give each other notes. And you'll also hear about our adventures navigating the Hollywood system. The show features amazing guests like Tim Robinson, Lily Sullivan, Weird Al Yankovic, and Rob Hubel. And like any great blockbuster, it's filled with heartbreak, adventure, suspense, and just a little tasteful nudity.

And some distasteful nudity. Sorry about that, guys. Listen to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I will say the fashion here in Charlestown and why I feel like I'm... Chuck Town. Charlie?

Chuck Town. Why I feel like I am older feeling here, but I'm trying to look younger, like I dress younger. And then these children who look like more adult men that are like 25, but they dress like they're adults because everyone looks like they're about to go golf. Golfing. 100% of the time. I love this. It's a status thing. I love this look. It's a status thing. The boat shoes. Everybody's about to go golf. And I understand that because I live in Newport Beach, California. That's more of like a boat shoe. Like we're about to go yachting, like vibe. This is everyone's about to go golf. And if they're going out a hundred percent of the time, you're rocking your khakis.

You know what I mean? You're rocking the khakis. Oh yeah. You gotta wear khakis. Yeah. So, and I don't own khakis. Neither do I. This is a crime. Neither do I.

Maybe we should get some khakis out of them. This is a crime. No, dude dude you see my ass in a khaki Oh my Adam. We're gonna send you to the world what you're saying you could not you're saying you couldn't look good in khakis Dude khaki the color reached out and said please don't That's pretty funny. Yeah khaki the color reached out was like no take us off. Yeah. Yeah, it showed up on your phone You're like khakis off. Yeah. It showed up on your phone. You're like, khaki is calling. Yeah, khaki. The khaki family, the khaki institution. Yeah, I didn't know this existed,

but khaki actually reached out. This is Adam. Hello? Yeah, this is calling. And it's the khaki voice is the whitest sound. The whitest khaki ever. Hi, Sam Khaki. I mean, I guess that is a lot of material.

Howdy there. So what about just chinos in general of like a different color? Yes, chinos. If I do wear a chino, it's gotta be dark, dark. We gotta be a charcoal or a black. Okay, I like that. Great ass.

Like have you ever rocked dickies? Like when you moved out to California, did you ever throw down, throw on some dickies? Yeah, a little stiffer, a little workman pan? I did. I would, yeah, I rocked a workman and I would go dark gray was my color. Oh.

Dark gray is a good color. You gotta hide the tree trunks. You know, these things, if you flaunt them too much, you get a lot of unwanted attention. And Adam hates attention. I, one thing about me, one thing about me, I don't hates attention. I- Dude, one thing about me. One thing about me, I don't like attention.

So like, thank God. Well, not for the wrong reasons. Not for the wrong reasons. No, no, no. Not for the wrong reasons. And when you're wearing khakis, you got guys flagging you down like, what up with them thighs? Hey, do you guys all wear belts? Um, I not currently I've recently lost some weight And now I have to wear belts on some of my jeans, which is really sick I feel like it's a winter time winter time all wear belts, but sometimes I'm not really rocking belts

I'm just gonna say that spring summer. What is that because you're wearing shorts or you just like it's too hot to wear a belt Like are these the same pants? What, belts hold you down too much? Or what are the- Different pants, different ideologies going out. But I think like, I like the belt when I need to wear- The blood is hitting. I like the belt in the winter when you're putting on like layers and shit, I dig it.

I don't like the belt in the summer when it's hot and it's like, you just want to put on shorts and one shirt and that's it. And then you also want to maybe go into the pool during the day. You also want to go- But that's different, but you're wearing different, so you're wearing swim trunks.

Which have a last. I'm wearing like all purpose shorts kind of, right now I'm actually wearing shorts that could service a belt, that could service a belt. Show us. See, all right. It's just like, I'm still gonna send it. See, I think you're kinda.

Oh, baby. Oh, oh. Please do, nobody asked for that. God damn, okay. Damn. Oh, sorry, sorry. That's just a byproduct of what you asked for. Hello.

It worked out a little muffin top, baby. Damn, bro. The six pack is. Who's hungry? Jesus. The six pack is coming in, brother. The pack is cooking. Thank you. It's pack is coming in. The pack is cooking. Thank you.

It's summer. We're cooking the pack up. That looked like a bar, looked like a barbecue pack. It's under there, bro. Had a six pack. Thank you. It did? Yeah, it was a pack.

It's a pack. Oh, okay. It's a pack. Six, six individual packs of ground beef. Yeah. Packed in there. It's packed. It's like a bunch of sausage beef. Yeah. Yeah. Packed in there. It's packed.

It's like a bunch of sausage meat. Yeah. Yeah, man. Jimmy Dean, baby. I got body by Dean. Honestly, I can't even jump in because I'm just too disturbed to joke about it. Cow's stomach looks like a butcher counter.

Meat, bro. It's all the leftover bits, dude. It's all the leftover bits dude. It's all the leftover Yeah, Kyle your stomach looks like your chest is dripping. Yeah, dude, it looks like you look like a melted candle Okay, oh I think I might be chunking. Yeah, cut the internet, sweetheart. Cut the internet off.

Cut the internet, babe. They're going after me. Kyle's body looks like in Cape Fear when De Niro's holding the flare in his hand and it's just burning over his knuckles. Yes, points! Well, that's deep rep, but I'll have have to assume that it's time for a rewatch. Yes yeah it's time to rewatch that one. I have to assume. Anyways I'm not wearing a belt. I'm not wearing a belt. The hair and makeup women on the Righteous Gemstones went in to get my dumb Kelvin haircut. Okay looks looks normal. Yeah it looks kind of normal right now. It looks kind of good actually That's haircut he's ever had but I went to get my my Kelvin haircut and they were like wow

You're very gray now. So now I have gray hair. So that's it. They can't do that's not okay I don't know what they're doing They're supposed to are you about it, but they're supposed to talk about it later behind your back and how they have to solve the problem Yeah behind your back supposed to have secrets on set and get a like a whisper Well, I kind of I kind of brought it up because I noticed a couple like on the side like there's one There's one, you know, there's a few and I was like, yeah, I got a couple here I don't know and then she starts looking and she goes actually you you have a lot of gray. You've really grayed since the last season so You have a lot of gray. You've really grayed since the last season. So...

You're dying. It's time to get that tea. So Kelvin might just have jet black hair or something. He might dye his hair like an insane color this year, which could be kind of funny, but... Hold up. I've always wanted to dye my hair for a show. Like, just go like bleach blonde.

I mean, Kyle, when you had your blonde hair, looked great. Blonders, baby. Oh, yeah, I wanna do it again. I wanna do some shit to my hair too, like bleach blonde. I mean, Kyle, when you had your blonde hair, look great. Blonders, baby. Oh, yeah, I wanna do it again. I wanna do some shit to my hair too, like really bad. It's, I'm like, I keep struggling. I'm now struggling with having long hair, like because I want it gone.

Yeah. Well, you could just cut it, buddy. But also like, don't do too much to your hair cause it's lived a traumatic life. Don't tell me what to do. Don't tell me what to do. This is it a traumatic life don't tell me what to do this is your last ride it might just go if you if you know don't say the last ride this might be the last train out of town okay your next haircut is your last

haircut brother so make it count this dude's gonna go to the barber the dude gonna get the fucking comb and scissors out and the hair's gonna be dodging it like, oh shit. It's gonna frighten itself right out of its scalp. Loose butthole. Well, genuinely that is like, I don't wanna do it because I don't wanna look like I'm trying to be fucking young, you know what I mean?

Like I don't wanna go like blonde and I don't wanna be like, oh, I'm like, Pull a Blake? Doing the things that I did when I was a kid, you know what I mean? I wanna find my adult haircut, my tucked in polo bagel, go to Chuck town for some inspiration. Now is this kind of your roundabout way of like shitting on Blake, dude? Because I Blake's my homie, dude. Are you kind of not even that roundabout? Yeah. Are you sort of going right at Blake? I don't mean to be shitting on anyone.

Yeah. I don't have to be shitting on anyone. If, I don't have to be shitting on anyone. If I was, it was not intended, okay? Indirect diarrhea blast? Dude, I didn't feel shit on. I didn't feel shit up on. Okay, good. I will say, of all of our friends, I feel like you're the friend who could rock wigs publicly and it would work for you.

Me? Me? Yeah, yeah. I love that idea, dude. So dumb. I think you're right. And I actually take that as like, probably one of the bigger compliments I've ever gotten in my life.

Yeah, dude. Like, that is huge from you to me. Like have, get really weird eyewear and really like crazy wigs. Yeah, this is the nicest thing you could ever say to me. Wow. Dude, Kyle is spending a lot of, you know when you meet like a rich, old, like person who's into art? It's always a rich, old person who's into art.

They have very insane, very expensive looking glasses. And I could see Kyle just wearing, like one's a triangle and one's just like a tiny little, you know, tiny little like the size of a nickel. Yeah. See, that's what I need to transition into. I need to get into that type of eccentricity. And this like reaching younger.

Yeah, and then like a neon green, like bowl cut wig. A neon green bowl cut wig. Yes, Blake, you are hitting it out of the park. You really think that? That's insane, bro. I think if anybody could run it, it's you are hitting it out of the park. You really think that? That's insane, bro. I think if anybody could run it, it's you. All right. I think you're the guy.

Okay. Oh, fuck. Oh, boy. Oh, oh. Uh-oh. You're a fucking disaster, my guy. Dude, moved to Charleston, forgot all my podcast stuff, like I totally,

I packed everything else. I brought my child child I remembered him. You are so dumb. That's huge. You don't want a home alone in his head. The fact that you're not saying it is. Yeah it's a huge. Which I have caught myself in like did you grab it? And she's like our child? And I'm like yeah that yeah that's right. Yes. Yes. That happens all the time. The item known as our child. And I'm not getting the flesh nugget that I we carry around Therefore, where's that little meat mound? Yeah, where's that little pile of meat? Oh that sack that human sack that we carry. Yes Dude, I've been watching Franklin Mike the Michael Douglas show on it's all about Ben Franklin on

It's not that good. They could have done a better job Franklin on. It's not that good. They could have done a better job. But I was watching the trailer last night thinking like, should I watch this? And then I'm like, this feels like a joke. It's science. The trailer itself feels like something that is like a joke from the 90s. And now it's like a decade.

It's not that good. OK, but it's also because France is such a fucking insane place especially back then yeah like the pomp and circumstance this is like Les Mis times it was like I mean I don't know when Les Mis took place this like post revolution in France the French Revolution I don't know. No, this was Ben Franklin brokered a deal with the French to have the- Al Roker. To have them help us during the Revolutionary War. Our Revolution, sure.

And he did, our Revolutionary War. And they did. And it was like, there was a point that we weren't going to win and it was up to Ben Franklin to go. And then John Adams comes and John Adams is like a total bitch about everything really that's cool but John Adams was not a bitch when how do you know Marty played okay no he was a bitch Paul Giamatti played no he was a bitch in John and oh he was yes I thought he was like heroic well he is he is but he's just like he's not a cool

guy to hang out with like Ben Franklin was tight, dude He was getting drunk all the time. Do Ben Franklin was fucking tight, dude He's Adam Sear. I was like you want to go chase lightning dude, Ben Franklin had so much Riz bro. It was crazy He was he would like had multiple girlfriends. He was like he's on the hundred. Yeah He was in France just fucking throwing it down dude dude Yeah, that's why he got the big bill. They're like yo, we gotta give Ben the hundred bro That bro is what cuz he keeps it 100. Okay Points good points yourself. Thank you. Yes But it is it's a weird show

Everyone's wearing the most insane wigs and I'm thinking though when you said wigs I was thinking that's what Kyle should just suddenly you were wearing a powdered wig and you just fucking go for it Oh powdered wig, but didn't everybody rock those back then or no? Yeah, I think I think that that was like It was a big song. It was less in America that they say that's what the high school kids were wearing and Blake's like It was less in America that they say. That's what the high school kids were wearing. And Blake's like, you did that because I think you rocked powdered wigs because it was a way to not like take care of your hygiene because it was a way to like,

it was a way to like mask the smell because they would like, they would spruce this up. So it was like you put them, you powder your wig and then you put it on because people were only showering. They didn't shower. They took fucking baths, bro. Did they shave their head or just? No, they have hair underneath. They were all bald. Diarrhea. I think they were all showering. They didn't shower. They took fucking baths, bro. Did they shave their head or just? No, they have hair underneath. I think they were all bald. I think they were all bald early.

I would just shave my head. No, I think they had hair, but it was less in America. They were- I'd be bald out there and fully jacked. But all of our founding fathers had powdered wigs. All the pictures, they're like- Some of them- I thought it was because they all had syphilis. I thought they all had like a Disease that was making like their hair fall out and then then like they had to wear a lot of makeup because they were Like looking like corpses. I don't think everyone dude. It was like children children in Franklin the show I don't know how real authentic the show is but there's like nine-year-olds just kicking it with sick

So I doubt I doubt they have syphilis yeah probably not at all well we're getting lice in the chat so maybe it was just that like French lice just bouncing around or something yeah well lice and syphilis are a little different you know it's all bugs this shit was just masking their smell this shit is because they stank dude they stank, dude. They stank. That's what it is. They had major stink and they had to put wigs on to drop it out.

Sorry, how much does hair smell? What? Your head? Your head can smell bad if you don't take showers. You're saying your scalp, your scalp smells? Kyle, I think we're- What? Just put your hair in water.

I don't understand. Wartree diarrhea. Back in the day, they didn't do that. They didn't do that. They didn in water. I don't understand. Water diarrhea back in the day. They didn't do that They didn't do that. They didn't shower there wasn't water I know but how many days does it take for you to for your specifically just your head hair to smell? Let's ask Kyle Kyle. How long what wait? What's the question? When does your family start to do you have to wash your hair? At what point how many days I know when it is It's like four days like four or five days I would say when it's like it starts to get really greasy and you're just like whoa, man

Look at all this shit that's coming out of my scalp, right? You know what I mean? Yeah Hey Kyle, can I just say I'm so happy to have you back dude, uh-huh. I love that. You're back on the pot This is sick. Okay, that's great. I'm happy to be here. Yeah I love that you're back on the pod. This is sick. Okay, that's great. I'm happy to be here. Happy to be here. It's science.

This is tight. Because we wouldn't be able to ask this question to anyone else. Like it wouldn't be happening. I'll give you a good honest answer. And I'm honest Abe. I'm as honest as Abraham Lincoln, bro. The $5 bill.

Have you ever smelled anybody with smelly head hair over like just their body odor overpowering it, do you think? Well, I think it was to mask the entire body because there wasn't deodorant. It was to just have a good smell around you. Oh, maybe it was trickle down. Like you put on this perfect-

So you're saying the wig smell, you couldn't just spray that on yourself? I think it was fragrant. And then, so they put that on to mask everything else that was going. Yeah, everything. Your breath was also nasty. Imagine hooking, I think about was fragrant and then so they put that on to mask Everything else that was going your breath was also nasty imagine hooking I think about this all the time because all the time I'm thinking about this dude all the time Because I'm watching this Franklin show and he's just hooking up with women left and right women love 70-something-year-old Ben Franklin with gal 100 and they're throwing themselves at him and he's throwing it down dude all Riz down He fucked hella good. Thank you for saying Riz. Thank you for saying Riz Blake and bringing that good dick

Yeah, good dick. You could just tell and Ben Franklin have good dick shape like a skeleton key That's what you don't know he tied the kite to his cock How gross would it be and also like anal was a big thing and blow jobs were a big thing in France. Like that's where they were like kinky. They were like threesomes and like doing nasty shit. 69, dudes!

Yeah, it's the marquee de sade. Could you imagine like eating someone out? Yeah, I know, dude. I think about that often. During that time, there's just flies everywhere. You're like, what are you? I think about that all the time too. Like yeah, but like the expectation is lower, right? You're just it's still coochie. Well, exactly. You're just you haven't had coochie that's not that so you're just kind of like I'm in. You're like wait this is what the fuss is about?

Goddamn. I'm in. No, it's cool. I think it's cool. We were just like we were just like going after it's cool. I think it's cool. We were just like going after a very animal-like, I think that's sick. For sure they're just like, let me hit it with the wig real quick. Right. Yes, exactly.

Let me get the wig down here, little. Let me just. Psh, psh, psh, psh, psh. That's what the, that's probably what the merkin was. You know what the merkin is? That's like the pubic hair wig. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe. So what was it now? I think. Oh, the merkin is that's like the the pubic hair wig yeah yeah

so maybe so what was it now I think oh the merkin oh so you'd powder up your pubic wig yeah and you you toss some powder up in that so you're not even licking actual to use their words coochie you're not looking the coochie you're just outside you're outside licking this flavorful wig they put like a bunch of raspberry sauce on it or something kind of tasty. That's the French for you. That's France. Some marmalade.

But that's why they call it a French bath, right? It's just, you hit it with the washcloth right quick. Do they call it? Or you're doing this outside next to a river. You just go scoop two hands full of the water and you throw it at the coochie real fast. Yeah. Or you just toss some powder on it. You know what I mean? Hit it with the wig. Powder it up. Yeah, just toss some powder on it. You know what I mean?

Hit it with the wig. Powder it up. You take off your wig. Hey, I'm gonna need a couple wigs for this. Dude, you take off your wig and then you just smack, you smack your crotch with the wig. You powder it. Yeah.

Yeah. Sweetheart, we need to split the wig. Oh man, those French people got it right. Yeah. That's why back in the day they said you gotta pow-d her wig. Pow-d, it wasn't pow-d, it was like, you hit it with like a pow.

Yeah, points. Yeah, pow. Okay, that, okay. Wait, hey, you guys, hey, let's call it taking a hike. Let's take a little hike real quick. Yeah, I don't know, Ders just went on a walk and I don't know if we- I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. No points. No points.

Dude in colonial America, they were barely sponging themselves off. That's what it says. They were they were rarely using a sponge and it says here that they were not using soap. So like that's just so that's what was going on back then. Man, that's fucking wild. How different is that from your lifestyle? Yeah. Do you live a colonial lifestyle? Cause throwback to what you would say. Cause throwback. Oh, you guys, they're starting to get nasty.

They're starting to get nasty. Yeah, we don't want to get nasty. We don't want to get you. We don't want to get that You know this podcast we keep it clean on this on this podcast Yeah, I just don't clean my hair every day because it's not worth it. It ain't worth it. It was expensive I gotta wait till I'm on like another production before I get the Good shit. Yeah, and then you could ask for dude. I just went in and they were like, do you need anything? I'm like I need a razor. I need razor blades.

I need a face wash. They're like, you didn't buy anything for yourself? And I'm like, I did. I'm getting that extra. Dental floss. If you have a podcasting microphone, I'd love that. Yeah. I wish I had that.

Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Stacey thought she had the perfect husband. Doctor, father, family man. It was the perfect cover for Justin Rutherford to hide behind. It led me into the house, and I mean, it was like a movie. cover for Justin Rutherford to hide behind. It led me into the house and I mean it was like a movie. He was sitting at our kitchen table. The cops were guarding him.

Stacy learned how far her husband would go to save himself. I slept with a loaded gun next to my bed. You not just say I wish he was dead, you actually gave details and explained different scenarios on how to kill him. He to me is scarier than Jeffrey Dahmer. Listen to Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

More, more, more, more, more, better. Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. We've known each other for thousands of years. And we've been through it all together. And we are totally killing it. We are literally the best. No notes. Life is great. Ha ha ha ha. None of that was true. J.K., J.K., join us on our excellent adventure as we take on topics like listening to yourself. There were a lot of red flags

and it did take me eight years to get there, but I got there. The challenge of self care. This is important, because now you're about to be a mom I got there. The challenge of self-care. This is important, because now you're about to be a mom of two kids. And making friends as an adult. We're gonna share our struggles, just white-knuckling through life, babe.

We're gonna speak to experts, and we're gonna share everything we learned with you. Listen to more better with Stephanie and Melissa as part of the Michael Duda Podcast Network, available on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, I'm Mark. I'm Greg.

I'm Brendan. And this is a trailer for a new podcast called Get It to Dutch, a Screenwriter's Journey. It's about screenwriting. And a journey. The three of us play aspiring screenwriters on a quest to get a hit Hollywood script to famous producer Dutch Huxley.

Well, I would say one of us is aspiring and the other two are sort of struggling. Which one of us is aspiring? Well, they're gonna have to listen to the podcast. Hmm, but I don't know and I made the podcast. Well, I made the podcast and I think you guys were along for the ride. Each week we bring in a script, we read it,

and then we give each other notes. And you'll also hear about our adventures navigating the Hollywood system. The show features amazing guests like Tim Robinson, Lily Sullivan, Weird Al Yankovic, and Rob Hubel. And like any great blockbuster, it's filled with heartbreak, adventure, suspense, and just a little tasteful nudity. And some distasteful nudity.

Oh yeah, sorry about that guys. Listen to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. ["The Last Post"] Bo just took his first flight, dudes. Oh, yeah, yeah. You dropped him? Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna take his flight. It's like the Wright brothers. Yeah, he crashed. Yes, sir. Yeah, he was very good, good boy, dude. Was having a fucking blast. Like really enjoyed himself, and then dropped the largest shit he's ever taken in his life about 40 minutes in yeah That's the altitude it was something something it is. It's the compression

It's like it's like what happens to a water bottle when it squeezes that squeezing all that shit out, dude That's what's going on analogy. Is that real because I that doesn't that doesn't happen to me it's a bowing bomb you don't have to fart on an airplane no always have to fart on an airplane because you're getting squeezed you've never felt like you've had gas on the airplane no dude adam i've sat next to you on an airplane and you have farted quite often i can smell it that is not that's not true what do you mean that's not true is that wait hang on a second we've got a denial we've got to- You're belying the truth right now, Kyle. How are you going to deny that? Is that true, Kyle?

Yeah, how are you going to deny that? I don't, I can't, I, I, how are you going to deny that you've never farted on an airplane and never smelled? Allegedly! So Adam's never felt it, but the majority of humans who've flown, you feel pressure on your-

I think you guys are belying the truth in a way that- Oh, there it is. Oh, belying, yeah, that's the word. Why would you even drop it like that? Dude, because it's impossible to belie. When have you ever heard that word before? It's impossible to slip it. I don't know.

I haven't heard it, actually. But when you look off into the distance like that, it doesn't help. I know, I know, I know. But I knew you guys were gonna catch this one. It's called belie, and it's to belie something is to give a false idea or an impression Honestly, we've been talking about Ben Franklin a lot I would have like thrown it into like and then we decry that the Bly of the then then you could like sneak it in

Like with the accent colonial shit decry of the Bly yeah that but that I was trying to use it in proper context I think that's key when doing word of the day. You can't just say the word. That's true. Hey, respect, respect. Yeah. When you're doing word of the day, you do, you do have to try to make it make sense. Yeah. I also, I think when you go up, when you go higher in altitude, it expands. I think that's what's going on. Cause like if you take a bag of chips up to the mountains, when you get out, that bag of chips is like full of air.

So I think when you're up, it expands. When you come down, it contracts. I think that's the science. Right. But they press they pressurize the cabin, though, Kyle. Blake, do you do you have to shit and fart a ton on planes? Because I've never heard this. It's it doesn't happen to me. Yeah, but I think it affects you a little bit.

If the water bottles are being affected in the cabin, then you're being affected as a person. It's science. That's what I'm saying, but I think they pressurize it. I think it's, you're saying everything expands. Yeah, it's pressurized. Oh, so they're, oh, okay. So it's not the, I can't use the mountain analogy.

They do the opposite inside the plane, I believe. That's why you have to like pop your ears and shit. That's pretty sound science. right so when you go up you would they it's science yeah so Blake answer the question do you do I fart I have I farted on a plane okay there you go well I farted on a plane for sure but it like is it a thing for you are you are you on a flight just always being like okay I'm flying you know I'm gonna rip some ass like I don't like no, I'm not like boarding the plane like, oh, no, here come the farts again. But I mean, I've

had gas on a plane hold it, you can feel the bubble. Sure. But is it a thing when you you fly a lot? I we just took we just took upwards of 60 to 80 flights together in the last six months. So note that I was farting quite a bit? I, I, did you know? No. Okay, so it's 50-50. Half of us don't really notice extra gas. I fart more on land and on boats.

I fart a lot. We're talking about planes. We're talking planes. Here's what I know. When I fly and I get off the plane, all I do on the way to baggage claim is fart That's all I do. Okay loose butthole. I crop dust damn near every airport I ever landed Okay, and I think we've talked about this

I don't fart in coach in first class when the lights are out and people are laying down non-stop. Mm-hmm Really? Yeah, hold up. What do you mean? You would hold it in coach? You would hold it in coach? Cause you can't fart. You're right next to somebody. You can't just rip it right there. But you have the air thing.

You have the air thing. You just turn the air thing up. That's true, Kyle. That is true. And yet I still don't. Ders, can I ask you a question though? Are you the- Permission granted.

Do you store all your farts for travel? Like, are you a dad who farts around his family? Are you a farty, farty guy? Yeah. Okay, cool. Okay, all right. Are those two, I don't know what question you just asked. You're like, are you a dad who stores his farts?

Do you fart around your family? What do you want to know? Have I farted in front of my children? Yeah, don't, don't belie the truth, okay? Yeah. I still don't know what that means. And now he's frozen. Sorry, I was, I was chugging it a little bit cuz I thought you're making fun of me but if

you're not then I can continue Kyle I said the the definition earlier oh I don't think it was paying attention sorry bro sorry bro I guess I'll look it up over here sorry go ahead Blakey like what are you asking yeah I'm just if I fart in front of my family yeah I don I don't know. Some people don't fart around their family, right? You like save it. I will say that I don't fart that often. I do fart sometimes. I'm not a big farter and I don't really fart in front of my family. Adam denies farts more than anybody I've ever met and his way of his way of rationalizing it is he goes dude if I would fart I would tell you and. But every time he farts, he never tells us.

Allegedly! No, it's total gaslight. He gaslights all of his gassers, dude. Oh, yes. Good point. Why would I do that? Why would I do that? Adam, I don't know.

We don't know. I'm honestly so open and honest with everything else in my life. That's why it's weird. That's why it's weird. I don't know, maybe it's a character fault. These guys live with you for seven years and I know they know what I'm talking about. I mean, I do fart. I have farted. I'm not saying I don't fart. Like the fact that you're getting so worked up about it now tells me that it's a weird

issue for you. Wait, because you keep, it's cause, cause Ders, you keep saying this, you keep poking the bear. Okay. And you're riling me up. Fuck it! Well, Adam, it's simple. It's very simple. Yeah. You're a mischievous motherfucker.

And when a fart itself is not mischievous enough, then the denial of the fart is what turns the mischief up. Oh, whoa. Interesting, interesting. I know how that works. I understand that's psych. Oh, okay. But I don't know what the word beli means.

As it takes a huge bite of, what is that? just guacamole? I'm just eating avocados. You're just eating an avocado? Why are you eating it? Just wait. We're going to be done in 10, 15 minutes. You wait to eat avocados. I don't have to. Well, sure. Yeah, sure. That's how Kyle lives his life. He doesn't have to do the podcast, so he doesn't. Thank you. Adam, I'm not trying to come at you. I don't mind farting in front of my kids. I don't want to make it like a big deal. Water trash.

I don't know, I'm not gonna be like, everybody listen. Like a, you know what I mean? Really? That's my world all day. Yeah. Yeah, I believe that. That's all you have. That's all you have.

Yeah, that's what I got. That's my- Notice me, senpai. Notice me. We love farts. I've said it before, but farts are my love language. Because honestly, I don't want to be sitting on the couch and then just have a symphony of small children

farting around me, right? That's exactly right, that's exactly right. That is so wrong. I go, hey, you know you can walk away, you can leave the couch, you can go to another room or whatever and let it seep out. Just not at the table, just not at the table. That's the only rule, just don't do it when you're eating.

Literally not while I'm holding you. Like don't care if you're a six year old. You say wait till we take a family trip when we get on the airplane, we're gonna fucking unload on these people. Get off the barricade. Only in first class. Only first class.

Well I will say I don't fart on airplanes but I do get rock hard. I will say like. Yeah we've covered that for sure. And we've covered that. That that's an everybody. We're all in agreement. Agreements. Sorry, Blake. We're all in agreeance that you get rock hard on airplanes, right? Correct. I love it. What are we agreeing on? I get it when we, when I land and then I've got to like grab my bag. That's when it really strikes me. Okay. Yeah.

I haven't been on a flight without a boner in quite some time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too. Kyle's been on the no flies list. It's definitely the cabin pressure. It's the pressure, dude. It's the cabin pressure. They need to work on it. It's nothing.

It releases, it grips your dick the whole flight and then it lets go, the blood rushes in. You know what, and Blake, you didn't answer. How's your dick on flights? My dick is probably, yeah, it's probably harder than ever when it's up in the air. Yeah. Okay. Good, good, good, good.

Absolutely. When you're up in there. Can that be the new mile high club is just getting a boner on an airplane? Like, you don't have to. It's a pretty non-exclusive club. Guys, I'm in the mile high club. I'm in that club. It finally happened.

It finally happened. And by finally, I mean every time I've flown since I was 15 years old. So, yeah. Everyone in the actual Mile High Club is freaking out right now. Like, no, no, no, no, no, cause you don't understand what we had to go through

to make that happen. Yeah, do you really? It's not easy. Are any of us in the Mile High Club? Any of us? We're all in agreeance that you get rock hard on airplanes, right? No, I mean, I had my story where I j. O. to Laura Croft from Tomb Raider. Yeah.

Dude, the absolute best time to chunk because it was just slow. It was slow motion. Laura Ocean, Lara Croft, Tomb Raider magazine. And he calls it a story, not an admission. Yeah, well by the way, we've all jerked off on planes before, not in our seat, like a psychopath, you go to the bathroom. I've never done that. I don't think I've done that. You've never jerked off in a bathroom?

No. Oh, I've done that. I'm not, not all the time, but I've done it like probably three or four times. In one flight I would feel so bad like holding the bathroom for that long when somebody else probably needs to use it Is that hotter long long does it take you? Yeah? Wait, what?

How long are you taking? Dipping into something I'm not I might not be ready for what's up here Like you're not taking your sweet time. You're just handling an issue. Yeah, it's an itch for sure. I get it. There's no way. There's no way I could scratch an itch like that. It's handling a problem that you have. Your dick is too hard. You're trying to watch Lara Croft Tomb Raider, the movie, and you can't get through it. There's no way.

It's a magazine. Fair enough. Sorry. I know. I'm watching Tomb Raider, the movie, okay. Yeah. And and you can't get through it. There's no way. It's a magazine. Sorry. I know. I'm I'm watching Tomb Raider, the movie. OK. In my story. Oh, so you're watching Angelina Jolly. Do you guys think you can get put on the no fly list if you were caught masturbating in in in on a plane? 1000 percent. Hey, can I say one thing? They're not going to catch me.

Yeah. But if you were, is that is that grounds for no fly list Kyle People have been put on the no flight list for less trust me. All right for way less I saw somebody get put on the no fly list for vaping. There you go. That's annoying By the way, you're not in your seat in your seat. You should be Arrested and then shot in front of the entire plane. Okay. Well, that's a little big Uh, arrested and then shot in front of the entire plane. Okay. Well, that's a little big. Okay.

If what? If you fart in first class? No, jacking off in your seat. If you, that's an extreme example, but yeah, you should probably get arrested or you're get in trouble. If you jack off in the bathroom? No, in your seat, in your seat. Oh, in your seat, like Blake did one time?

Yeah. That's a crime. So Blake's on the no-fly list. In the bathroom and the doors closed. It's locked. It's lying Yeah Blake would be but he's a child though. So he might have are you were you a child? Oh, he's tried as a minor Yeah, he was tried as a minor. Yeah, probably got off. He's back on the streets. All right, good good. We're flying with you I guess I just don't want to spend, the bathrooms are so small, that like, I rarely ever sit to take a shit

unless I really, really have to, or it's like a crazy long flight around the world. I shit on maybe every flight that I'm on. Oh. Yeah, but you're an animal, you mark your territory, you like to let people know who they're not. Dookie drop. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

For whatever reason, I went out. And then you say you're the captain now? Yeah. And they're like, I'm the pilot. The captain? Sir, this is the cockpit? I will say, I will say that, uh, I think maybe instead of farts, that is what happens to me. I have to shit.

So that's like your son. So it's even worse, it's even more of an issue for you. It squeezes an actual dookie out. Like father like son. Yeah, but I'm not like squeezing him out of my, it's not an issue. I love shitting. I shit like four or five times a day.

I enjoy it. I sit down. Absolutely. I think you'd have to love it if you were shitting four or five times a day. I think that's too much. Yeah, I shit all the time. All the time I'm shitting.

I think it's too much, brother. I think that's too many times. I shit in the morning, I shit in the early afternoon, I shit in the evening, and I shit all the time. All the time I'm shitting. Well, I think it's too much, brother. I think that's too many times. I shit in the morning, I shit in the early afternoon, I shit in the evening, and I shit at night before I go to bed, so four times. Isn't that a song? Four times. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I shit two times in the morning. I shit two times at noon. Yes. Shit-a-merinky-dinky-dink, shit-a-merinky-doo. I shit you. Uh? Yeah, I shit a whole lot. That's a lot.

What are you eating? I just wonder. I am curious. What are you eating that may, or have you always shit four or five times a day? I've always been a big shitter. And I will say the older I've gotten, I will say that for the past maybe 10 years, I sit down to piss. To shit. Right.

To piss. And I think that's probably why. I finally, I finally did it. It's better that way. Right. I finally sit down to shit. You're peeing. So you just ring one out, whatever it's like in the chamber.

Yeah. So I just like, I'm just like, yeah, it's, you know, I'm sorry. I'm always sitting down. So I'm like, I might as well just drop a bomb right now. Yeah. I'm just imagining being your colon, and it's like, I mean, can you have, since we've been sitting to pee,

all of a sudden we're working overtime, like, what the fuck is going on here? Four times seems excessive to me. And the poop is like, we got no breaks. We can't just hang and chill and. Yeah, but guess who doesn't have the hemmies and the fissures? True, true, that's true.

That's true, brother. I know you talk about your hemmies and fissures a lot, and I've never had them. Because I don't have to squeeze one out, because it's easy peasy, baby. Yeah, no, that's good for you. I'm jealous. I'm very great for you. I'm great for you, brother. Slick Willy.

Hold up. I'll shut up about what I think about your amount of time. You just put your ass in its place right now. Yes sir, I'll shut up. I don't mind a good, like, a nice effort every once in a while where you're like, all right, what's the move here? How are we doing this?

Yeah. We can't just push it all at once. Dude, I will say that my son's bomb was wild and I took him in the, so my wife was like, see if you can save the outfit, cause we only have two, and I'm like, like okay and I go in and I save the outfit save the outfit and he shit it ran up his back all the way to his neck and then there's a pool of shit and I'm on I have the little folded table down I don't is my first time

laying a baby on one of those tables so I don't really know the angles so I'm kind of fucking up a little bit and then he has his little feet and he he's like laughing He's having a great time. He starts splashing in the liquid shit and it sprays everywhere Now my shirt's covered in shit. He's like you thought you were gonna come here and jack off Now there's shit on the mirror, on the wall, everything. So I'm wet wiping my cell, the walls. It was a wild experience. I was like, I hope this doesn't happen every time I fly.

It will happen again. Yeah, is that a normal flying with your baby? Because he was, luckily he loved that. He was not scared or crying. He was just like, ha ha ha. That's his love language. Yeah. Figured it out early.

I mean, I remember, I feel like I brought this up. Like I remember my kids, I was changing a diaper and then I could, he like bent up and I saw it start to like kind of burble out and I just put my hand under his ass and he just shat into my hand. And I was like, I'm living in a nightmare. Because I was trying to save the changing table. I was like, because then you got to wash that. You got to wash that, yeah.

With the OxyClean. And I was like, this I could just kind of go wash. You could do without. Yeah, you could do without. Yeah, changing diapers can get real nasty, man. I remember getting shot at a couple times. We've recently like, segued into having a little bit of formula. Like we've been all breast milk all the time.

And then now we're, we mix that formula. Your boobs are huge. And the shits have gotten wayo, the real deal. Like suddenly they're like, they're like mad stinky. And there's just like, it's more, it's more shit. And I'm like. Are you in the mustard, like the mustard stage yet, or is it still kind of black and sticky?

Colonel Mustard in the library? No, no, no, the black and sticky only lasts a few days. Yeah, what does that hold? What does that change? Once or twice a month, I'm still black and sticky. Yeah, dude, it still bubbles up. If I have a night of a buzz ball. It's like macorum or something like that.

Macor, Macala, not colostrum. Colostrum's like the milk thing, right? Yeah, the colostrum's the milk. That's the first. It's like that good stuff. No, that's from Marvel. Yeah, that's carnage. Yeah.

Colostrum. No, the colostrum is that good titty milk, like when it was just concentrated, like that good stuff. Yeah, so they could find it. It was like, this is where you get your stuff, bro. Yeah, that good. Wait, so is colostrum not just,

no, I think colostrum is special. No, the colostrum's at the very beginning. Yeah, super scented. And it's like an extra potent, like nutritional bomb, and it's like stickier and a little more clear. And the macron, something like that. I wish a producer would look it up. bomb and it's like stickier and a little more clear and the Something like that. I wish a producer would look it up. Is the right with like Mike? I think you're right with like myconium. I feel like you're right. I feel like you're right on the money like that

It's pretty close. It'll a brea tar shit. Oh, that's good. It's the labrea tar shit That's a good one. Yeah, that's great. My brain tar shit is fucking fantastic That's a good one, yeah, that's great. Mabrea Tarshish is fucking fantastic, god damn. Yes, points! It's Venom 3, baby. The poop, we know what the colostrum is. What is the poop? The poop, the tar poop.

Kyle just said it, it is, yeah. It's myconium? Yeah. Okay, I think that's what Adam said. That's what Isaac used to put in his hair. Ha ha ha ha, it's the best hair gel. Oh man. Yes, points!

And you looked up, you know that it's Maconium? What is it? I thought it was Mike-conium. Maconium. I love Maconium. No? Mitch Maconium. On a Tuesday.

Maconium is a newborn's first bowel movement which is thick, sticky, and dark green. Yeah, I remember it only lasted a little, a little, little bit. Yeah. But yeah, we're full on mustardy. Turning a little brown. Turning a little brown. Yeah, but yeah, we're full on we're full on Mustardy turning turning a little brown turning a little brown. It's all my congratulations That's great, dude. We're like out of we're almost out of diapers, which is something We just have like a nighttime diaper you got to run to the store No, like I don't gotta fucking change another diaper dude's been five years. It's like holy shit Too much then you start to shit

yourself and you gotta change your own diaper. Circle life. Circle life. It was right. They're out you're back in. That's why you have children so then when you're old they have to change your diapers it's the only reason. I want you to know the only reason I had you is to change my diapers. So you better get your ass over here, and then they stick you in a shitty old folks home. Dang. Or a very expensive one. Or a really, really nice one. Really, really good.

Well, you almost have to put money away for your own old folks home. Because if you leave it... Yeah, that's retirement, dude. Adam, did you just realize this? Yes, but no member of my family has ever done that. Nobody? If you leave it. Yeah. What do you that's retirement, dude? That's what I'm. Did you just realize this? That's what yes. But no member of my family has ever done that. Nobody through the lineage, through the lineage. No one has saved a dollar for when they are on death.

Store. No way. They just stayed at home in like a neighborhood where like other family was. Yes. And then like a few that live like out of state, like my great great aunt, she was 104 and she stayed in, I was a child. So I didn't really clock how like sad the old folks home was, but it was horrifically sad. Now looking back at it. Right, right. Wait, so someone has been in an old folks home? Yes. So you're a, and I can't trust anything You say yeah, but she didn't save any money for it

It was like family pitched in to get her this shitty old folks up right right and also what Social Security whatever comes from that Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, so yeah you I think we have to plan for that stuff boys We have to I mean maybe we all try to get in the same old folks home and keep the podcast going It'd be so great. Yeah, or yeah What if we all get one RV that we all stay in and we park it in Santa Fe and we just kind of know We're gonna want our own space. Did you hear what Adam is saying? They serve you food. It's I like the old folks Oh, yeah. Yeah, my grandpa would eat hot dogs. I'll make food. Yeah, dude. I'll still be able to give you guys raw hot dogs It'll be beautiful. I've seen what you eat, which is air. So we're you're not gonna make us food, homie

Yeah, we don't want a big bowl of nothing. I've got recipes I do like the idea of just going to a fucking like old folks home and just playing video games and doing like LSD for the end of days, You know what I mean? Like that seems cool. Yes, points. Honestly, Kyle, I would love to go out just doing LSD with you. I feel like that's, yeah, I would finally just go on over to your side. I'd dye my hair with you, you know.

Wear the wigs. Yeah, got wigs every day. I'd be like skateboarding in a diaper. Yeah, we're like always doing bits where we just come like one day addressed colonial, we go down to like the little commissary dress as a big Ben, big Ben, big Ben Roth. Yeah. Well, and then everyone's all the big Ben's today's Ben day. We're just come as giant clocks one day, but the lonely Island guys are there and they're like, we did that last week, you know,

we're like, yeah, they're always one step ahead. We did it louder. So we did it louder and dirtier. We talked about our buttholes more than you did. Yeah. Who cares if we were second? They're like, but we did it. But we had like a clever song and we're like, yeah, but spoofed. Political thump something It was actually way smarter what we did and we're like, yeah, but we talked about our buttholes though, so

And people liked it people other old folks they enjoyed it are there any take backs any apologies any epic slams here boys Kind of take back showing you all my pack my six pack kind of take Give us some fodder. It was fun. It was fun. Yeah, that's cool. No, I just wish I had more to show I wish I was like further on my journey. You are really lean. I will you got enough. Trust me Do you do sit-ups? I wish I'd less to show. I know I'm not doing sit-ups. I'm not doing sit-ups No, I'm not. I think you're playing a lot of pickleball and you have leaned out a lot But I think some strength training might might do you some good. Let's see again. Yeah, let's see it again No, that's it's chill. You want to see it again that will know that before we're talking about it now

I see it now. We're just getting into it. Okay, he's flexing. Okay. Goodbye Teasing before for sure. You look great. Yeah Yeah, well you did that Don't lean Wow I was getting lean. I had to show you my lean Yeah, so I think I think okay some Some strength training might might really help you My back hurts my fucking. My fucking back hurts.

That just threw your back out? That hurt me. I want Kyle to get one of those big distended abs, is that what they call it? Where it's like the abs sticks out. It's still like a six pack, but it comes out like a beer belly. The bodybuilders have that a lot

when they're gaining weight, when they're bulking fizz. Do the thing where you grab the handles up here and crunch with the extra weight, Kyle. Oh yeah. You're not gonna doking. Do the thing where you grab the handles up here and like crunch with like the extra weight. Oh, yeah. Okay. Let's just let's get you super Ninja Turtle tongue. You're not doing this. Get there. Let's get there. Let's get there. I just need a list of things to do. Yeah, I just need a list. I don't know what to do. Oh, I can send you workouts to you want me to send

you workouts. I got I got 1000s of them. He's like, all right. Yeah, throw me some dude. Throw me what you're doing. I'll stay up on it. I just don't dude. Throw me what you're doing. I'll stay up on it I just don't know. I don't have any confidence. Goodbye. I wonder I wonder why that's so weird I know Kyle just hire a trainer buddy. Just hire a trainer. Nah, okay I don't want somebody talking to me about it. I want to talk about I'm gonna take back my insults about your body I think you've come a long way. No one made. Yeah. You look great. I'm not trying to knock that dude. I wish I was working out harder.

Yeah. I can I glom on, can I do a glom on Ders? Glom it on. Yeah, for sure. Always. I would love to glom on Ders' take back. And also I am proud of you, buddy. You gained or you lost a lot of weight and you gained my respect.

There it is. Hey. Finally, finally. Yeah. I put a bunch back on in Toronto. I'm respect. There it is. Finally. Finally. Yeah. Uh, I put a bunch back on in Toronto. I'm trying to get it off. Like I put like almost, I put a bunch on. Well, how much did you lose and how much did you put back on?

Cause you're still looking pretty lean. I was sitting two 15 when we were on tour. And then when I got back from Toronto, I was two 32 because breakfast burritos all day, every day. And then what did you, that's a, that's a hell of a little swing, but also what did you start at when you got down to 215? What was, you were like 240 or what were you? No, I was up to like 260, 265, 270.

270? Woo! I was top in scales, bro. And you know what's crazy? Before we really go, you never look like 270. Right guys? Am I crazy? And I'm like, wow, I hide it well. You looked like an old professor. You're like an old English teacher. That's what you started to look like.

Yes. He had like a knitted cardigan robe type stuff to hide the situation. Yeah. Yeah. Like a flowy big, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x,

like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like a p90x, like, pterodactyl flying out of danger. That's a good idea. I wish I was around, Kyle, because I'd love to back out of trouble with you, like the pterodactyl, dude. Yeah. I'd love to back out of trouble.

Should we do 90 days? Should we do 90 days? What's the abripper X? Just start doing abripper X. Yeah, that's on YouTube now. Yeah, you could snag it. Any takebacks, any apologies, Blakey? I just want to take back my internet right now.

I feel like I'm chunking a lot and uh, we're going to figure it out next, next episode. Ooh, I like that. He's teasing it. I like it. A nice tease for the good internet. Uh, I will say that I am very sorry that I don't have the proper podcasting equipment. I hope I sound okay. Oh my God. Uh, I, I, it was a bonehead move. I packed everything my wife

And literally I only had to remember a few things and one of them being all my podcast equipment And I forgot tell you what I did bring is 400 joints and different weed other weed items, so I'm very prepared to smoke weed other weed items so I'm very prepared to smoke weed. Legal there? Wow dude! No no no, illegally sent, illegally sent via the... US postal service? US postal service.

You know, they don't care. I don't think they care. It might be all they're sending these days. Smoked weed everyday! It might be all they're sending these right yeah, we I had a like a box It was a big heavy box full of shit Weed and and cans like the weed drinks and that kind of stuff and it broke and it opened and I went last season And I went to go pick it up, and they're like the one was I'm hmm Are you gonna share and I'm like what and she's like you better share next time

And I'm like what are you talking about and I'm like what and she's like you better share next time And I'm like, what are you talking about? And she's like it popped open I saw what you have and I'm thinking like you talked one way and then she went into like Are you gonna share we'll find out next week if you went to prison you're under arrest Yeah, so and then she didn't she didn't care at all. Yeah Yeah, so and then she didn't she didn't care at all. Yeah Yeah, if every kid listening just know that you can obviously use the US Postal Service to sell weed now that's important Now that is important. Amen. Yeah.

Vow to your senses. Woo. Yee. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of betrayal. Justin Rutherford, doctor, father, family man.

It was the perfect cover to hide behind. Detective Weaver said, I'm sure you know why we're here. I was like, what in the world is going on? Listen to betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. More, more, more, more, more, better. Hey, I'm Melissa Fumero and I'm Stephanie Beatriz. You may know us from television.

Nine, nine. And now we're here with our very own podcast, More Better with Stephanie and Melissa. Join us as we take on topics like listening to yourself, the challenge of self care and making friends as an adult. We're gonna share our struggles. We're gonna speak to experts and we're gonna share everything we learned with you.

Listen to More Better with Stephanie and Melissa on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you love comedy movies and Hollywood satire, you're gonna wanna listen to a brand new podcast called Get It to Dutch. In Get It to Dutch, we play three aspiring screenwriters on a quest to get a script

to big time Hollywood producer, Dutch Huxley. Each week on the podcast, we play three aspiring screenwriters on a quest to get a script to big-time Hollywood producer Dutch Huxley. Each week on the podcast, we perform a movie script right before your ears. It's like going to a movie with your eyes closed. And we have amazing guest stars, including Tim Robinson, Rob Hubel, Lily Sullivan, Jamie Moyer, and Weird Al Yankovic. Listen to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.