This Is Important - Ep 204: Haircut My Life Into Pieces

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

Today, this is what's important: Haircuts, the three finger special, drinking, pilates, sports, Kyrie Irvings shoes, MTV Awards, lighters, Anders birthday, & more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Gary Veeder and I have a new limited series podcast, Number One Dad. Over this 10 part series, I'll go searching for the truth about my father, a con man who I haven't spoken to in 24 years. He wants me to act like my injury is even worse for a payout. He's posing as my attorney in a court. There were moments where Manny would assume the role of undercover police officer. Listen to Number One Dad on the i I heart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

If you love comedy movies and Hollywood satire, you're going to want to listen to a brand new podcast called get it to Dutch and get it to Dutch. We play three aspiring screenwriters on a quest to get a script to big time Hollywood producer Dutch Huxley. Each week on the podcast, we perform a movie script right before your ears. It's like going to a movie with your eyes closed. And we have amazing guest stars, including Tim Robinson, Rob Hubel, Lily Sullivan, Jamie

Moyer and Weird Al Yankovic. Listen to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. If someone asked you to name a queer icon, who would you say? Britney, Christina, Shirley Bassey, Tina, Madonna, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey. Bruce Springsteen. This is Because the Boss Belongs to Us, a serious journalistic quest to get Bruce Springsteen recognized as the queer icon we know that he is.

Listen to Because the Boss Belongs to Us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about... How else do you get immune to the cobra's venom if you don't take a little bit at a time? You know what I'm saying, brother?

He rode a bike so hard he had to get his fucking taint ripped open. I am saying that I am wrong and if you are a fan of the pod, do not think like me, okay? Thank you, bye. Well sure, for sure. Alcohol is poison, but also it's dope poison. Here we go! Start your engines! Rang!

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I know, I'm getting back into it. I'm getting back into it. Yeah, you didn't chime in at all. You kind of let Todd do all the work. There was no other. Nah, too many cooks in the kitchen. You know what I mean? That was... That does make sense.

See. I know when to hold them and when to fold them, as Kenny Rogers once sang, okay? Kenny Rogers. And if you're listening now, you don't know that Kyle got a haircut. Yeah, this is big time, this is big time. You're a monster.

What happened? He looks fuckin', as Adam says, he looks cute. That's not just pulled back in an epic poem. You don't got a ponytail? No, no, this is all gone, baby. Yeah, let's see. Take the headphones off. Really model this thing for us.

Oh my God. Oh shit. Get your nada surf on. No. This is, it's kind of, I like this. This is a nice length. You didn't go too short, you know? Yeah. Too short? Yeah, no, that was, I didn't even think about a nice length. You didn't go too short, you know? Yeah.

Too short? Yeah, no, that was, I didn't even think about that. I was gonna buzz it and I asked my wife to cut it and thankfully she picked the perfect length. Yeah. Yeah, because you can still hide the forehead, you know? She's good at picking the perfect length, okay? She said, you need to cut it.

Yeah. You can still comb it forward, hide whatever amount of forehead you wanna hide, you know, you can. Right, yeah. Yeah, thanks guys. No, I appreciate it. I actually like it. You can still comb it forward, hide whatever amount of forehead you wanna hide. You know, you can. Yeah, thanks guys. No, I appreciate it. I actually like it. I feel really...

Empowered? Yes, I feel better. I feel better without all that hair. Really? But we're telling you how we feel about it, okay? Like in a major way, I feel way better. I'm just chiming in. Ooh.

And why was the long hair dragging you down? Yeah, what happened? For all the long haired out there that are now in their late 30s, early 40s. Falling apart at the same time. And it's kind of dragging them down. It was sort of their identity for a while. And they feel like they have to carry it around everywhere. And they have to wear cool sunglasses on a podcast to make them feel hip and cool.

Okay, I'm chunking. I think I'm chunking right now. Yeah, you're something. I might be chunking. What would you say to a long hair like that, that maybe they wanna cut it, but they've sort of tied their whole identity into this hair?

What would you say to them, Kyle? I would say, cut it, man. What the fuck, dude? Shit grows back, bro. You need to cut it And thank you for for really going on that beautiful soliloquy and Said I'm convinced a podcasting is an audio medium at the word already. Did he already do the word? Oh, he already got it. I haven't looked up the word I haven't it is so early shut up bitch the way to be on the hunt, Anders, he's hunting.

Now he's looking it up. Yeah, he's hunting. Well, I just hear these words and I'm like, what? Now he's dropping depth chargers on us. No, Adam has a vocabulary, chill out, bro. Yeah. Chill out, my boy's got a vocab. I do have a vocab, thank you for saying that.

Yeah. Blake, you don't brush your hair, do you, Blake? Do you brush your hair? I'm very, once in a blue moon, I'll pack it with conditioner in the shower saying that. Yeah. Blake, you don't brush your hair, do you, Blake? Do you brush your hair? Um, very once in a blue moon, I'll pack it with conditioner in the shower and I will run a comb through it. Yeah. But it packs it away. So that's what you're drinking these days. What, how often is a blue moon? Two weeks. You're right. Thank you. Great question. A fortnight? Yeah, like once in a month. Like once in a month, maybe.

Once in a month. So you brush your hair once a month? Yeah, probably like once a month in the shower. Go down on me. I'm still gonna send it. Eating on the podcast, picking the nose. We're hitting home runs out the gate. Well, you gotta watch on YouTube

to really get the full experience. You do, ring that bell. Hey, this is our 200th and what like fourth episode or third episode, something like that. Absolutely. Hey, you know what? We gotta start getting better at this kind of shit. This is the way.

Someday. I was ripping hair out when I was brushing my hair. Like every time I brushed my fucking hair, which I had to do every single time I took a shower, which sucks. Why did you have to do that? Because otherwise you're talking, you're talking about knots talking about knots dude like the knots they were driving me crazy Let's do his head was a berry farm. Yeah, you're naughty boy. Okay

Knots very far. I like that So Cal Thanks for drinking a zoa man. Yeah, Thanks for repping. Yeah, get you some. I'm a company man. So Kyle, I would like for you to speak on, if you can, speak on it. You're a quarter of the podcast. Get your speak on.

Yes, ready to talk. What's up? You're here to talk. What I'm here for. To someone who is thinking about cutting their hair. And is really kind of on the fence about it. They've tied their whole identity to it, but they do want to and you've had private conversations where they've talked about maybe really wanting to cut it. Adam had an aneurysm. You said this. What would you say to them? Well, ultimately it's like you can't. I think you have to make the choice. OK, I what I did.

I. Oh, wow. What I did. Oh, my God. Totally. Yeah. But wow. Wow. Oh, my God. When you think about it, he's talking. She's talking. I thought I had a soliloquy. This is your son. I was able to fucking roll into this. What that silver tongue God do it. It's the deeds. I'm barely even do its deeds. Throw me off the goddamn tracks. Get a bash. I'm barely even starting and you guys are saying shut the fuck up.

Let that silver tongue. All right. Silver tongue. Hey, Kyle, you have the floor and you have the floor. The floor is yours. Okay, so you have to make the choice and you have to follow through. That's the big thing, okay? I wasn't, I had made the choice a lot of times and I just waited until the next day

I thought oh do it on stage for TII show that'll be by all I put it up on a fucking pedestal I kept going further and further up when really the other day five and six. You're happy Adam. I thought It's fucking grows back bro. Who cares? I've got to stop. Okay, bitch, man You know what? I mean like but oh see and thank you Kyle. That's what I was got to stop being a bitch man you know what I mean like but oh see and thank you Kyle that's what I was getting at stop being a little bitches yes yeah I know I was gonna drive there eventually just let me drive man yeah you cannot be a bitch about it you have to just cut your hair make a choice it is so this is a bitch thing okay it all comes back to being a bitch huh yeah interesting so somehow luch back to being a bitch, huh? Yeah. Interesting.

So somehow it loops back to being a bitch. So, Kyle, are you not a bitch anymore? And Blake, are you taking this personal? Because I was saying just a guy out there... Plead the fifth. Yeah. I was just saying a guy out there, this wasn't a pointed thing to you, my guy.

Absolutely not. You didn't even think about Blake at all. Yeah, no. I never do. Because my hair isn't my identity. You guys know I'm about Blake at all. Yeah, no. I never do. Cause my hair isn't my identity. You guys know I'm much deeper than that. You know that I am a whole personality. I'm a cornucopia of ideas.

Yeah, well then cut your hair. Cut your hair then, just do it. I don't want to. And seeing you with a haircut makes me want to cut my hair less, okay? That's not true. That is not true. That is not true.

That's not true. That's not what you said off air. That's not what you said off air. What are all these conversations I not what you said off air. That's not what you said off air. What are all these conversations I'm having with people off air? Yeah, this dude doesn't have conversations off air. I don't talk to you. No, I've had some conversations off air where someone might have said something about cutting

their hair if the right part came along. No. It was an acting thing. Yes, it was. I'm not saying it's you. I'm saying a person. Okay. Danny McBride, who are we talking about here? No, dude. I think...

Come on, man. The right part? Fuck that. I think we know. I think we know. Cut it for your life, dude. Cut it because you're a dad, bro. Cut it because you're a fucking dad, bro. Be responsible. What does that have to do with anything? Get a haircut. What? Well, Kyle, dad's going to have long hair. No, not anymore. Not anymore.

Yeah, that is sexist. That is dadist. I like this, Kyle. I'm gonna have long hair. No, not anymore. Not anymore. Yeah, that is sexist. That is dadist. I like this, Kyle. I'm trying to be an asshole. Plank sit up straight. Here's my thing about long hair. If it's dragging you down and you feel like you can't cut it

because of the expectations that you've built, but you want to, and you wanna turn over a new leaf, you just, you gotta fuckin' do it, as Kyle so eloquently said. And so bravely did. Gotta make the choice and you gotta commit. Very brave. What director would you cut your hair for?

Name three directors you would cut your hair for. He doesn't know three directors. I don't know that I didn't. Daniel Stern. Daniel Stern. Yeah, that's one. Daniel Stern did direct. Ben Stiller.

Okay. Okay, yep. And, hmm, who's my third? What? Ben did direct. Ben Stiller. Okay. Okay. Yep. And, um, who's my third spot? And my third spot, um. Do you know another director? Probably the Safdie Brothers. Okay.

Really? I would definitely do it for them. Really? Yeah. For days. Oh, that's, that's, let's make them do it. Let's make them, they can do it. I feel like we can make this happen.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I would do anything for those guys. I think they're frickin' geniuses. Yeah. You know that they no longer work together. Still brothers, but yeah, they don't. I would bring them together. I would bring them back together. This is important. It's a short film just about cutting your hair.

It's dark and moody though. Yeah, absolutely. The edge of your seat. It's just like the little door, the little bell that rings when you come in in the barber shop, it just keeps cutting to that, building the tension the entire time. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Right. I'm in, dude. Don't stop there. I feel like we might have to do this ourselves. By the way, I like that Kyle's not on that list. Yeah, that's fine. Sorry, brother.

But I would like to formally ask the Safdies if either one of them would attach Blake to a project that requires him to cut his hair. I would like to formally put that out into the world and ask them to really follow through because not only is he a great actor, he also looks very good with short hair and the world gotta see it. Okey dokey. So, okay. Well, see, remember when Sean White's whole thing was he's the flying tomato, he's got that long hair,

and then he just up and flipped the script and he cut it and then he's now sexier than ever. Right. Sexier than ever. You feel that way. A lot of people feel that way. Yeah, I think he is sexier. I do think Sean White got sexier with shorter hair.

He got way sexier. And I think you could too, Blake. He dialed it in. He grew up. He flipped the switch. That's what I'm saying. Grow up. But I don't really want to be sex.

I don't know that I want to be sexy. I like being, you know. I don't think there's a lot of, I don't think there's, you don't have to worry about that. You have much to worry about. Yeah, I don't think you do it. You're good. You about that. You have much to worry about. Yeah, I don't think I have a head. You're good, you're good. You're like, huh?

You still keep wearing those glasses and licking your teeth like that? What did I, I just saw some photos of you when you were like 19. Oh boy. And you were with like, me. Are we still talking about me? Yeah, with you.

This sucks. Go down on me. And you had the tiny little Afro, and that, I'm glad you pivoted out of that, because that was an awkward stage, where it was like, it wasn't tight, like when you're in high school, because that was like kind of a cute look,

like I have this cute, it's when it starts to hang, that's a bad look. Yeah, but that's transition. Well, I think anybody who makes the transition, yeah, anybody who makes the transition to long hair, you realize that halfway there, it's a really, really awkward stage, and it's not cool. So why did Kyle cut his hair into the transition?

That's the question. Exactly. Okay. Points. Very good, very good. Kyle, he's a trans activist. He's putting it out there, he's representing it. He really is, he's all about the trans. He's representing. Yeah, he really is He's all about the trends. Yeah about transitional transitional phases. Yes, really cool. It's a cool statement

I appreciate that. I think it's great. I love it. Yeah, yeah I will say I do like it because you got you got those squishy bangs. I don't know what happened man You're like an aging Bieber. Yeah, thanks, bro Aging Bieber. He looks like a 90s skate photographer. Yeah, now I actually just see that. That's cool. I'm digging on Spike Jones much. Hello. Hello. Thanks. Oh, I'll cut it for Spike to like once. Okay, I'm gonna put another formal request out there for Spike Jones, please attach

Blake to a project where he needs to cut his hair. In fact, that's a formal invitation for all of Hollywood. Let's do this. So what if it was a like a big director? Because, you know, like David, what are you there? Directs all the all the Pizza Hut commercials. It does all the pizza commercials. What if David Gordon Green's like, I want Blake in this pizza campaign,

but he's got to cut his hair. Oh, that's a great question. And it's David Gordon Green. He's a big director, you know? Do I get free Pizza Hut the rest of my life? That's the question. Of course. I think they're gonna give you enough money

that you could buy all the pizza for the rest of your life. But let's just say of course. They're giving you, they're backing the truck up on you. Let's say absolutely, of course. Yeah, yeah. They're backing the hut. Yeah. Ah, that gets me licking my lips a little bit.

Yeah, so if you're listening at home, he's licking his chops. Which we still don't know what the answer, we don't know what that means, but he's doing it. Whatever happened to licking your chops, is that something, is that a cancelable offense now? You're doing it. No, I think you can still lick chops.

Why are you doing it? Are you doing it. No, I think you can still lick chops. Why are you doing it? Are you doing it like at a teenager's tennis match, like behind the serve? No. Yeah, so context is everything. Are you at a playground sitting on top of the monkey bars? No, but how old is the, are they 19 year old? Cause then I think that would be,

I mean, you still might get canceled, but you're not getting arrested. It's still not a good look. Yeah, it's a bad look. Is it just your lips? Is licking your chops just your lips? Why is it called chops? Why do we call them your?

I don't know. It's teeth. It's your teeth. It's not licking your chomps, you goofballs. Yeah, it should be licking your chops. Oh, that, yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe it's like your sideburns. You're licking so big, you're hitting those chops.

That's what I thought. Yeah. Yeah, that was my look in high school. I had those sideburns. You're looking so big. You're hitting those. That's what I thought. Yeah. Yeah. That was my look in high school. I had those. I had those sideburns that came out to here. That was a horrific, horrific look. Adam was ready for any band member to go down and for him to just slide right in on bass. If there was a concert where someone like rolled an ankle, he's like, just give me the bass.

But I also don't know how to play a fucking instrument to save my life, so it's just, I'm just ready to like, I'll hold a guitar and then do a lot of, not even the lead singer, I'll be a backup singer, but just I'm on stage. Yeah. You were rockabilly ready, dude, and we like that about you.

People thought he was Buckethead, and he's like, I'm not, I'm not. He thought he was in the Stray Cats. Yeah, I had one of the PT kids at my physical therapy place was like Dude, what is that tattoo for? I have a nautical star tattoo and I go Well, were you cool as fuck when you were 18? Getting radical and he was like what and I'm like, were you cool as shit cuz I was and he like didn't get it He was like, oh, I guess so and I'm like

It's cuz I thought I was cool. Hey mom, the guy who gets his taint massaged was talking to me. Says he used to do. Dude, that's a different guy. I'm going, I'm going to this woman now who is fantastic and she was like the one of the head masseuses for the women's national soccer team. And we won gold and everything. Yeah. And so she's so she's great. And I was like kind of floating the three finger special.

Mia like you. She worked me his hand. Wee. Ooh, yes points. You got it, baby. And I was like trying to float the three finger. Kyle, do you even know about the three finger special? No, no, I don't know what the fuck that is.

What's the deal? So let's take 20. Quick, quick side note. Quick recap. Just in case you haven't listened seven episodes ago, I go to this masseuse. Or called your friend about his health. Who are asked about your friend's health.

He gets me butt naked. And is shaking my leg. And my dick is flapping under the cover and is hitting him in the wrist because he's up on my thigh. Oh my god. This is immediately, so I'm getting like a little half quarter chub. Yeah, it's just because he's moving. He's like I'm gonna get you into your, well you know, I wasn't like in gorge but yeah, about what yours is showing on the ruler.

Yeah, you're fluffing. I went from my steady state of 2 and 1 half to 4 inches. You need another 4 inches. We're not bad. And then he goes, I'm going to have to, you're deep so ass, I'm going to have to slide under the hood. And I go, what does that mean? He takes his hand, he scoops it under my nut sack.

No, but it's now. And he goes, I call this the three finger special. And then he presses his fingers under my nut sack to my asshole and he goes, you can't use the fourth finger because that'll breach the crest of my asshole. And then he starts to flick right there and I'm moving my leg back and forth. And I'm moving my arm my leg back and forth and I'm playing the bass

Dude I swear to I swear it was so painful Kyle Really? It was so painful like white hot paint and then he goes and Release and it felt like a guitar string broke and I felt fucking fantastic Oh really? Did that one finger lower and one finger lower and I? Have been better since going to him I started like two and a half months ago, and I'm the best I've ever been right now We're not ever but they have since my body is falling apart two years ever since that bro. That's awesome spot Yeah, yeah, that's great.

That's a no button. So I floated this to this woman, Masoos, who does all the female soccer players. And I just told her about what happened. And she's like, OK. Oh, really? Never heard of that. She's like, huh, weird.

Breached the crest, huh? Okey dokey. Definitely not doing that. Keep your underwear on. I'm like, yeah, fair enough. Put your underwear back on. No, you know yeah, fair enough. Put your underwear back on. No, you know what? I told my guy about it and he was like, yeah, there's a lot of sensitive like whatever's under there.

So he was like, yeah, whatever. He knew all about it. I don't know what he said. I'm not going to go into detail, but there's a lot of sensitive. What I couldn't make out what he was saying with his tongue in my eye. Doctor says there's a lot of fences. Oh, man, let me tell you, there's a lot of a lot of sensitive whatever's down there. Yeah, a lot of sensitive. Thank you, doctor. A little bit of ecstasy. Oh, man. I'm gonna get this chore. We like that, baby. So wait, was that to tee up a bigger thing? Adam, right? I forget what exactly we're

talking about. Because if we're not, I got a segue to a doctor thing. Yeah, segue to the doctor thing. Go, baby. Go, baby. I'm Gary Veeder, and I have a new limited series podcast called Number One Dad. It may have been the greatest scam for a sports fan. In the 90s, my dad and I ran a con for years, where we snuck into the world's most prestigious arena, New York's Madison Square Garden,

and I interviewed some of the biggest athletes in the world, even Michael Jordan. But this wasn't the only scheme my dad was pulling. He's posing as my attorney in a court. Everything my dad did was a scam. There were moments where Nanny would assume the role of undercover police officer. My father's never-ending string of lies ultimately broke apart my family. And at 15 years old, I completely cut him out of my life.

That was 24 years ago. I have no idea where he lives or what he's up to. But my goal is to track him down and get to the truth about who my father, Manny Beter, really is. My father was involved in a case from the early 90s and I'm just trying to get information. You better hope that your dad doesn't find out about this before you're ready to talk to him.

I'm sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Listen to Number One Dad on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy Pride. It's time for a brand new podcast. Do you love weird pop culture facts? Like I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well, then you're gonna love the podcast I do with my best friend,

Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. You've probably seen books at Barnes and Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I wonder what is inside of them. We've decided, because we are grown consenting adults, that we're gonna read a book every single week. And here we are. You probably don't have time to read a book every single week. And here we are. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you.

We discuss the inner workings of the minds of these authors in great detail. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic. It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree, put your glasses on. And listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Stacey thought she had the perfect husband. Doctor, father, family man. It was the perfect cover for Justin Rutherford to hide behind. It led me into the house, and I mean, it was like a movie. He was sitting at our kitchen table.

The cops were guarding him. Stacey learned how far her husband would go to save himself. I slept with a loaded gun next to my bed. He did not just say, I wish he was dead. He actually gave details and explained different scenarios on how to my bed. He did not just say I wish he was dead. He actually gave details and explained different scenarios on how to kill him. He, to me, is scarier than Jeffrey Dahmer. Listen to Betrayal on the iHeart radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. or wherever you get your podcasts. So I just turned 43. Oldest friend. Oldest friend I know. That's so old. And I've never had it so good. Yeah. But I went to the doctor the other day and it was like a new doctor, younger guy who took over for the dude who retired, who was like a vibe doctor.

Yep. You'd go in and be like, how do you feel? And you're like, good. And you'd go in and be like how do you feel and you're like good and you'd be like how's working family you're like good and he's like hey man if you're happy you're good and you're like okay all right right right new doctors like super technical like blood draw samples all this shit you got the iPad out he's typing in all sorts stuff and he's like it's it says here you drink like five or six drinks a week I'm like yeah just mostly of stuff and he's like it says here you drink like five or six drinks a week I'm like, yeah, just mostly like weekend. Hello. He's like well the new research is Saying the only good number zero numbers are low zero. I'm drunk now. Oh really?

He goes research says only new number that's good is zero. Let's try and get there and I was like What the hell I just met you sir, and then uh, he goes how's your eating? I'm like not great. It's not good at all. And then goes okay pizza pizza just switch to Mediterranean diet. You'll live longer, okay, and I was like Whoa, yeah, wait we're talking heroes. I was that's what I said. I'm like long going to Greece and he goes Okay, just don't eat any pita and I was like Listen mister Makes you calm Santa But that's the good stuff. That's why he came in. So then I got off his lap and I said, listen, mister. He makes you call him Santa? Yeah. It was a little too much.

I was like, you're... Yeah. That's like what the doctors used to say about me when I'd write that I smoke cigarettes. You know, when I would write, like, they'd be like, how about you stop that? How about you just fucking give that up, basically? And I was like, dude, no, wait, what? That's crazy that they took that stance on your five drinks a week. I didn't like it. Didn't like it. He's right. They're idiots.

But when I was looking for a new general practitioner, or a general practitioner, I know one. So I was like, it was like when I think I turned 30. And I was like, you know what, I should have a doctor like I don't have a doctor. So I go and I'm looking for a doctor and my agents recommend this guy in Beverly Hills. I go to him He's like this old-school doctor and probably the same guy. It's science. I mean maybe and He asked me how much I drank and I was just coming off to her how much I drank in the last month and I told Him and he said that we're not a good fit

He turned me down for being his doctor. Yeah. Turn me down. I don't know if I can work with that. Because you drank too much. And then they did. I was so mad. They didn't validate parking either. So I got, it cost me like $15. Yeah.

Because it's Beverly. It's the bricks. It's the bricks. It cost me like $15 to get turned down by a doctor. I was like ashamed. I was intoxicated. He was like, what was your answer? What were what was your number at that time? Because I just got off tour. It's like, well, how much have you drank in the last drinking five or six drinks a night? Yeah. If that it was like he was like

a strong one goes in the last week. And I go, oh, every night because I just gotten off tour. And then he went for a high five. And he's like, oh, what about the last month? He calls the nurses in. You hear this and I go all the last 30 days and and he was like whoa And I go why just was off to her. It's gonna slow down. He's like yeah I don't think it's gonna be a good fit Wow he turned away. That's so tight bro went for a high five He say I drink every night He's like I'm not gonna high five night. He's like, I'm not going to high five that.

I was wearing those glasses that Blake is currently wearing. Cut your hair. I'm not going to high five you, bro. You got to get out of my office. You got to go. You're having too much fun. Yeah. Then I then I seeked out my Dr. Brozarks. I'm all good now. Yeah, you got the answers. Dr. Brozarks would be like, that's what's up. That's good. That's what's up, dawg.

I'm prescribing you, Jaeger. I feel like you could get those numbers up a little bit, brother. I think you could bump those numbers up. Have you had your tetanus shot? Have you had a Jaeger shot? Absolutely. Yes, points. Ders, have you looked into it?

Is that the research? Because they said, like, they say a fucking glass of wine is good for you. Hasn't that been the general? That's old news. You know who does that research, dude? It's the wine guy. Yeah, it was my mom with big grapes.

Oh yeah, right, right. That's right. No, the new shit, I've heard that too. The new shit is they're just now saying like, now it's not even worth it. But of course not. Like, what? It's a bad idea.

Yeah, it's a poison. It's just like nicotine. Well, sure, for sure. Alcohol is poison, but also it's dope. It's dope poison. It's science. Yeah, it's a poison. It's just like nicotine. Well, sure, for sure. Alcohol is poison, but also it's dope. It's dope poison. Yeah. It's science. Yeah, it's the frickin' best.

Yeah, you're just doing a little bit of poison. That's all you're doing is just a little bit of poison here and there. That's how, how else? It worked out fine for Belle Biv De Vaux. And how else do you get immune to the cobra's venom if you don't take a little bit at a time? You don't need to say it, brother. All right. Thank a little bit at a time? You know what I'm saying, brother?

No. Thank you. So that's your, what's the, what's gonna, what's the cobra? What is the cobra? What's gonna bite you? What sort of alcohol animal is gonna? Yeah, what's the, how are you gonna get hurt from not there?

There's a good answer here. Yeah, I'm excited to hear it. What kind of animal? In my analogy, are you asking me to unpack my analogy? Yeah. Well, yeah, very much so. Very much so. Well, the Cobra is society and the venom is... Isn't there a Cobra 40 ounce, right? And then there yeah, and then most obviously the venom is the Cobra 40 ounce. Yeah. So you're sipping the Cobra 40 ounce. Ders helped you with that and it was real. Yeah, Ders helped you with that and it was a real, yeah, Ders helped you and it was a

real walk around. By the way, how great would it be if we all still just drank 40s? 40s every day to the dome? That would be sick. Not even every day, but just like casually where it was like you go in the fridge and it's definitely just Dr. Dre 40 fridge. Or you just like go to a barbecue and you like just bring like four 40 ounces. Yeah.

And you're just like, here, let's go. We used to go to parties and bring 40s all the time. Yeah, 40s were off. Yeah, but when we were young, when we were young men, now- I'm talking about now. But why can't you? Why don't you?

I don't do it because I don't drink, but why don't you do it? I don't know. Yeah, why don't you bring a 40 to the- I have no good reason. This is the question, Kyle. And I'm asking you guys. because it's a good way of saying I'm not sharing with anyone It's a good way of being like I'm taking this to myself and then no one else at the party is invited to what I brought It was that's totally yeah, but you know what you got to do you offer to share like you go

Do you want to sip exactly? No one's to say yes. My grandma was so cool. You know some annoying little girls? Not little girl, but like little woman. It's going to be like, I'll take it. And then she's deep throat in your 40 ounce. What the? I don't want to drink after this girl now. Did you guys drink 40s before they kind of

pivoted to like a wider mouth? Yeah, excuse me. Like Coors 40s? Like Coors? Yeah. Well, because they used to just be like very narrow to like a small opening and then like at some point in the 90s, they just went wide mouth with it. I don't know.

I don't remember a wide mouth. I always kind of remember a... Good. I wouldn't want it any other way. Bud Light and Budweiser had wider mouths Yeah, but the like um oldie make we were drinking big bear and was it called country club country club Yes, Oh country club. Yeah. Yes. Yes Right that was the staple dude because you're like, this is hilarious. Yeah, what genius made those?

We drank a lot of like the malt liquor. I remember going, I was just telling Chloe about Sonny's liquor store by our house on Kermomah. A little history lesson, yeah. Yeah, Sonny's liquor store. Like San Vicente. Yeah, and it was that Asian guy named Sonny and it was his liquor store and he hated everything.

He hated that you're in his store. He hated that you were buying stuff. He was never nice. Yeah, he didn't like it when he bought cigarettes. Yeah, he just. And his name was Sonny? And we were there. I know.

Real cloudy disposition. Sonny's kinda gloomy. I can't imagine owning and running a liquor store in Los Angeles though. That must be the most fucking insane job of all time. The best. It's gotta be great. Sure, yeah.

And you know this guy has seen some, he's seen some shit. He's seen some shit. If you're not getting murdered, it's the best. But we would go over there and we would get night train a lot. That was our drink of choice. Oh.

Yeah. Night train. Get some Sparks, which are, I think maybe the first energy alcohol drink, which, man. they were great. Oh, it was Thunderbird. Do you remember Thunderbird with the night train? I sure do.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was great. God, David, that was great. Welcome back, Kyle. He's back. Hey, man. Yeah, you're getting kind of chubbed up. Kyle, did you drink 40s?

What was your brand of 40? Oh, yeah. Edward Forty Hands, come on. Everybody did that. I think I would always get a Mickey's 4.0, dude. Yeah. I think that was what I wanted to do. Pull back.

I liked that. It hit a little bit harder. It slammed you quicker. Nice and cold, dude. Mickey's cold was such a fucking good taste. The little grenade bottles. Oh, the grenades. I can taste it right now just from memory. Oh God. You did have fucking good taste. The little grenade bottles. Oh, the grenade. I can like taste it right now just from memory.

Oh, God. You did have a problem. Just from a fucking memory, dude. I remember that shit. Are you all right, bro? I'm just I'm I'm in the moment with you guys. Oh, shit. If you're just listening, Kyle just took off and went on a bender.

He's back, dude. How are you? I'm in the moment with you guys. And that's all, that's my only fault. What, is being too present with us? Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy, man. Sometimes I'm like, bro, just back off a little bit.

You're too in the moment. You're too in the moment. Yeah, yeah, I know. I would say it'd be fun to have a, well, I am slowing down my drinking because it now causes my body to convulse and go into spasms. So that's, Hey, the new number for healthy is zero. Yeah. The cause of diarrhea. Well, you do, there is a certain level of like zeroing

out your equation. If you're having health issues, right? Like just being like, well, if that's fucking me up, I got to see if it's that I should, I should stop. But I'm also thinking now that we're getting going, I'm like, maybe I'm not drinking enough. There we go. Really, that's the thought process. Now this is interesting.

Maybe if I go really far, the body will, because I get, alcohol brings these spasms on in my body, the doctor told me, and I have felt it. We did a start party for righteous gemstones this weekend And the next couple days I was like zip zap zap I'm tightening up and I'm getting little zippy whips interesting. Oh, okay, and you drank at the party I drank at the party but I'm like maybe if I drink I feel like if we do like a like a

bachelor party level of drinking Mm-hmm. Maybe that'll short-circuit me out If we do like a bachelor party level of drinking, maybe that'll short circuit me out to where then I'm back on my baseline. Kyle's crying already. I like the science. No, no, no, I'm gonna actually poke a hole in the science because the science is making sense.

Here we go, Terrence Howard over here. Let's go, brother. Terrence Howard. Double helix. I just think that the thought process is a little bit circular, you know what I mean? You've been, you've done that. I've seen you do that, try and short circuit your body many times.

So I'm just saying you have performed- So you know what he's capable of. You have performed this experiment in the past. You've already experienced it with results. But that wasn't when I was having my spasms. My spasms have only come on in the last year and a half or so. Right.

Stank you, Lenny. And you have noticed them coming on because of so more of? Yeah. Yeah, going on tour didn't help. So more is like a short circuit. And when you short circuit something, also just to take the analogy, when you short circuit something,

you are fucking, you are popping it. Yeah. You are breaking it. Short circuit two is better. I agree. That'd be fun. I'd love to just break my nervous system, just be done with it.

Don't need it. No, no. Anyways. Do it right before day one of shooting. Yeah. That's tomorrow. Actually, tomorrow's my first day. No, really?

Oh, really? I'm nice. Happy first day of shooting. Good day. You got an early call. Do you know all your lines? Do you know all your lines? Yeah.

What's up? You got them? I do know them. I do know them. Are you off book? Yeah. It's one scene. I am off book, yes. Good, good, good. I'm not used to it. I'm not very confident in my ability to say these two lines that I have in this big scene.

He's got this. With like 11 characters. I always feel like that's worse. When you have two lines, I'd rather have 12, honestly. Yes, meet. Oh, I would rather have a full monologue, because then you're like really dialed in. The two lines when there's like 15,

because I think there's like eight people in this scene. So then you're just sort of standing you want to stay engaged, but you know I'm a mediocre actor So what I do is zone out What it gets like halfway through the day and especially when they come around and they don't get your coverage until like the end of The day and you're like Adam. I am worried about I'm on so much medication I get really fucking tired like yeah Like maybe really really tired in the in the late afternoon, and are you still off caffeine? Yeah? Wow, how are you doing with that? I'm not off off I'm I've dialed it back to I can have three caffeine drinks a day so no energy drinks

But so two cups of coffee yeah, and does the account so it's not an energy drink. It's green energy. It's a different thing. I can have all the zeal. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, so you're OK. That's cool. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So what are your what are your three coffee drinks? That would be hard for me to know, because I'm back on caffeine. I went back. I'm like, I'm all over. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Caffeine rocks. I just I just drink coffee. I don't I don't fuck it up. I went back. I'm like, I'm all over. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Caffeine rocks.

I just I just drink coffee. I don't I don't fuck it up. I'm just just coffee. You don't do espresso or anything like that. No, no, no. Doppio's none of that shit. And I know. Oh, damn. Maybe maybe now's the time. Get into some fucking shots, dude. Espresso shots. You're just like, check, check, check.

That's too it's too small. Yeah. He probably wants it to last. Right. I want to last a little bit. I want to savor the moments. These will fucking zing you up though, dude. They're cool. I don't want to get too zinged, Kyle. That's the thing. I'm trying to keep the zing down.

Zing levels at a, at a. Zing level at an all time low. Yeah, only time zing level can be high as if you're going to short circus it. Short circus. We, we. We're talking about the movie. I said short circus. We gotta talk about the movie short circuit. If you're gonna short circus it. Short circus, I said short circus. I said short circus.

We gotta talk about the movie short circuit. If you're gonna keep saying it, we gotta talk about it. We gotta talk about it. I love that movie. The other thing that will short circuit me is vigorous exercise. So guess what I'm doing now, dudes? Have you ever fucked with Pilates?

Ooh, I want to bad. I want to so bad. Wow. I want to. Samantha does, to so bad. You're bad. Yep, I want to. Samantha does. She's trying to get me there. Dude, I went in this place, but all the women are like 30s, 40s, 50s, just banging, just banging bods.

And I'm licking my chops. For anybody watching on YouTube, there's no chops licking. I was saying, I no longer want to look like a crossfit. That got me licking my chops. I wasn't licking my chops. There was no chops licking. He to look at my job. I wasn't looking my chops There's no chops like he's not saying you were like a man. I'm like in mine. Just hearing you say that No longer want a crossfit chick body. I want a pilate like how Adams like I wasn't licking my chops But I'm here saying that they're banging I want my I look at them

Dude, they're banging. I want my, I look at them. Sure, yeah. I look at them and I'm not saying I want to fuck them. I don't. What I'm saying is I want my body to look like me. I no longer want to look like a crossfit female. I want to look like a shredded Pilates chick. Yeah, I totally understand what you're saying. Are you on the reformer?

I'm on the reformer, dog. What's the reformer? Are they like long, long, lengthy, like dancer bodies? Yeah, but pretty taut. Stretched out. Yeah, real stretched out. Just definition. Everything's very defined.

I gotta do it, man. What's the reformer? I heard you do it man. What's the reformer? I heard you guys say that, what is that please? Reformer. Humm, made it a manna nina, new into moon now. The reformer is like, that's the stretcher. That's the thing that you connect your. Perfect.

I've never done it, but I think what I know is you connect your body to it and it helps you stretch. I think that's what I know. It's like a sliding little thing with with Bands like coils does it look like a like a treadmill sort of no, it's kind of like a bed It looks like a rack. It looks like a damn mere torture device Yeah, and then you do all I mean like I've by the way, I'm not a pro fucking thing sucks. Yeah, and then you do all kind of, I mean, like, I've, by the way, I'm not a pro, I've gone three times now, but.

Fifth time, fifth time. Can you get pro? Can you be a pro Pilates? You can go pro. Can you be pro? I'm sure you can. I'm sure you can. Dude, I'm going to, you know me, when I go into a thing,

I'm going all the way. I'm gonna be a fucking addicted to this. Adam, I would just chill, they're running out of places to finger you on Yeah, be careful I've already been fingered in a few places this dude rode a bike He rode a bike so hard yet again fucking taint ripped open Really do you like Pilates because is it like low-impact is this something that your body? It's low-impact and it stretches you out dude

Cuz I'm just was I would like a tightly wound ball For so long and you just got your legs over your head the whole time or what's going on? Who cares? Yeah every it's different shit. Blase is trying to paint a picture here You said that like it was a bad thing or it's not okay, I misread that Okay, he'sread that. Lick some chops. Okay, he's licking chops, sorry dude, my bad. Lick, let my man lick. I'm gonna have chap lips. I'm licking my damn chops so much,

I'm gonna have chap upper lips. Brought to you by CarMax. Chop steakhouse. CarMax. So your ass is in the air. What's it looking like? Okay. Just trying to picture it. My ass is all over the place.

Yeah. I just really, I don't like, does it whoop your ass? Do you feel like you got a really crazy workout or is it just yoga? The crazy thing is it's harder than yoga. Yeah. It's weird because sometimes you're like, oh, I could do this all day. And then you get in another position and it's the hardest thing that you've ever done.

But you're just moving your feet a little differently and like tilting your body a little differently. And then I've been the most sore I've been in years. From Pilates. Oh, so it's getting you. It's getting you right now. And I'm still working out. I'm still lifting weights and stuff.

And I feel like since I'm so used to that my body's like yeah We this is kind of what we do. Yeah, Pilate shit is I had that happen. I I played two-on-two Basketball the other day I was fucking rocked for four days straight like couldn't even move because I just I don't engage my body That way anymore. It's crazy. What do you mean? Like laterally? Whatever the fuck jumping is. You run. You run a lot, right? But I run a ton, but it's like going side to side.

Yeah. And it's like long distance. So it's about pacing and then like basketball is just like small sprints and jumping. Start starting stops. Oh my God. I thought I was going to die. I've never felt so old in my life. It's terrible. And who are you playing with? Young Bucks or what what were they other golden oldies or what's the deal? Tk tk, you know youthful energy staying about same age as all of us

So yeah, I just don't beat the shit out of him or like what I heard you were good, dude I heard you I heard you played well. I played well, but I I suffered around and get a triple double Yeah, what's up? I don't know if I got a triple double but I suffered the the the consequences for Literally four days my body felt like it was going to fall apart like I couldn't even walk Like you were sore or like you felt injured very sore not in yeah. Yeah. Yeah, very very sore. Oh, okay Okay, so you're just working shit that you ain't worked in a while. Yeah, it's crazy I gotta I gotta engage that's that's what happens You got a you got to mix up your your exercises and really do muscle confusion muscle confusion Fusion as our boy Tony Horton once said absolutely

I'm Gary Veeder and I have a new limited series podcast called Number One Dad. It may have been the greatest scam for a sports fan. In the 90s, my dad and I ran a con for years where we snuck into the world's most prestigious arena, New York's Madison Square Garden, and I interviewed some of the biggest athletes in the world, even Michael Jordan. But this wasn't the only scheme my dad was pulling. He's posing as my attorney in a court. Everything my dad did was a scam.

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Happy Pride. It's time for a brand new podcast. Happy Pride! It's time for a brand new podcast. Do you love weird pop culture facts? Like, I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well, then you're going to love the podcast I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. You've probably seen books at Barnes and Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I wonder what is inside of them. We've decided, because we are grown, consenting adults, that we're going to read a book every single week. And here we are.

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In season one, we told you about the murder of Gail Katz at the hands of my ex-boyfriend Bob. At one point, a woman's torso washed up on Staten Island and was misidentified as Gail Katz at the hands of my ex-boyfriend Bob. At one point, a woman's torso washed up on Staten Island and was misidentified as Gail. She spent nine years in Gail's grave, and then she just disappeared. It's almost like it's become this moral obligation to find her.

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On a basketball tip, the finals are going to start here soon. We're filming this or recording this before the finals start. It seems like, and the Timberwolves can come back and make history. Okay. Allegedly! And win the Western Conference Finals, but they're not going to. It's going to be the Mavericks. Yeah.

And it's going to be the Mavericks and Celtics. Are you excited? Do you think a new dynasty is being born with the Mavericks? Or do you think the Celtics are going to come out on top? This is a big question. I'm all in on this Mavericks or do you think the Celtics are gonna come out on top? This is a big question. I'm all in on this Mavericks team. Great question, great question, and I'd like to take it first.

Okay. I like the Mavericks. I don't know if I'm getting a dynasty vibe, but Blake, I want you to take it first after I took it. You want me to take it? I want Kyle to take it first. It's a great question. Kyle's got some great insight on the NBA season. and this is your reason we called him the Mavs and not the Ricks

Yes Dallas Ricks Got a ring dude, and they all have to have like pretty sick Ders level mustaches Yeah, the rates is kind of something. It's like almost like soot level mustaches. Yeah, the rigs. It's kind of something. It's like almost like soot. Blake, did you shave your mustache? Yeah, I did. I took it down. See, I cut hairs. I cut hairs all the time. I'm not afraid to change my identity. I look like I sneezed in front of a bowl of cinnamon or something. Yeah. Yeah, this looks... That got me licking my chops a little bit. Anyway, so wait, Kyle, do you think the Dallas Ricks are a dynasty?

Yeah. Are you down with the Boston Ticks? Ticks or Ricks? I'm down with both, man. I'm going to tell you right now, I'm down with both teams. Cool. Super helpful. You wish everybody could win? I think everybody is going to win. I think everybody's going win. I think everybody's gonna come away winners. I agree, I agree. I think that a lot of this is just,

you know, like it's just not, they're gonna come away good. Kyle, here's a question, cause you don't follow any sports, right? What do you watch? What do you follow? I watch pickleball. That's all I watch is pickleball.

Oh God. I don't have to talk about it, but you asked the question. I don't need to talk about it, but you asked the question. I don't need to talk about it, but that's all I watch. But you didn't, that's only been the last couple years. Two years. So you never were into sports, like watching any kind of sports? No, I watched baseball. I liked watching baseball.

Oh, that's right. I had a couple seasons with you guys where I watched basketball with you guys over the finals and stuff, which was fun. It was cool. We'd hit the bars. We'd see like... Drink some Mickey's. Fucking Powell. I like Powell. When Powell... Yeah, you were a Powell Gasol guy. When Powell hung up, you hung up. Okay. You're big into Powell Gasol.

That's what your haircut is. I know. I know. It's Gasol. It's Gasol adjacent. Yeah, actually that is right. You're looking more and more like Powell. You look like a Gasol. Thank you. Yeah, so. If you told me you were part of the Gasol family,

I would not even freaking bat an eye. Kyle Gasol. And what's crazy is Adam Newacek looks like the other Gasol brother, Mark Gasol. Yeah. Yeah, he really does. Dude, it's us, it's us. That's cool.

That's cool. Well Blake, who do you got? I got I got the Mavs I think I think Luca and Kyrie are gonna do it this year. Kyrie is on Fuego right now. Kyrie is yeah, he's sweet Well, I mean up until the the last game I mean now games have been played since we recorded this I thought the Mavs were close I thought they were in finals form, but they had a little hiccup last game But I do think that they had a hiccup and they lost by like five, right? Yeah, it was very was it they didn't get blown out or anything and

Minnesota was fighting for their lives. Yeah, you know cat cat balled out Yeah, I I think the Mavs are in um in in fighting shape. Can I say I absolutely don't fuck with cat? Yeah, sure Adam permission granted go for it. Oh, you said it. Yeah, I absolutely don't fuck with Kat? Yeah, sure. Adam, permission granted. Go for it. Oh, you said it. Yeah, I absolutely do not fuck with him. I think when the lights get bright, he cowers. Now, Anthony Edwards, I think he's a...

And that's why you don't fuck with him? Yeah, I think he just... You cannot count on him in the big moments to show up. Okay. That's a problem, especially when you get this far. And if I see him in the streets, we're throwing fists. Oh boy. I actually got to play Modern Warfare with Kat during a Mountain Dew tournament. He's a really nice guy.

I'll take it back then. I'm sure he's cool. Really cool dude. I like watching him in the interviews after the game. Okay, see, if you give good interview, we like you. No, what do you like about his interviews? His interviews are kinda shitty. He seems jovial,

seems fun, seems funny. Yeah, he seems like he's a nice guy, he seems friendly. I think like, but I don't, I don't see, he just will have games where he just does not show up And he's like oh for 11 and you're like, oh, yeah. Well, we really needed you to make one of those Basketball player I got questions Kyle. Yes. What is a cat in? What is the cat who was didn't you guys send something

in one of the chats where somebody's rocking a dope feather earring? Who was that? That was Kyrie Irving. He had a very long earring. When Isaac pierced his ear. Just swallow and then speak. What is happening?

Yeah. Sorry, I ate a burrito bowl right before air. Yeah, you're picking your nose, Kyle's eating, you're burping. This is a foul podcast. I had to. Do me, do me, do me out of here. You're good this podcast. Fuck yes.

Yeah, you're doing good. You're touching yourself, bro, I can see it. You're doing real good. Let loose a little bit, get a little nasty with us, bro. Come on. Okay, so that guy's cool. I'm into that. Yeah, he's cool.

People are coming around on him. You know, he's a flat earther and like he got a cool. I'm into that. Yeah, he's cool. People are coming around on him. You know, he's a flat earther and like he got a lot of flack for that. Oh, now I'm kind of like, maybe earth is flat. I mean, he jumps so damn high, he knows better than the rest of us. Yeah, defies gravity. Yeah. Well, it was when everyone was kind of losing their minds. Like it was during the time that Kyle, I think if you were to say, like, I also am a flat earther, I would have... You guys were sipping the same Kool-Aid, it

felt... It was during the pandemic. Yeah, no. The internet information was fast and loose. Yeah, it was fast and loose. People were... I wouldn't say everybody, but certain people did go down a little rabbit hole, and I think he was one of them. That's all right. And I saw... I was sitting, uh, court side, and I yelled like something about the earth is round, Kyrie, and he turns around and he just goes, I know! Oh. Oh no. He gave up. I thought you were going to say he handed you a pamphlet to like prove you otherwise. He was like, actually read up. He gave up. No, he was in the game and he turns around and starts running backwards.

He's like, I know. Yeah. Wait, what the hell? Yeah. He doesn't stand by the flat earth. He's like he was educated. No, it was like I think it was like a thing he said. He like went down like a weird.

Yeah, because you can find interviews. He was he was like, I just was going down some weird YouTube rabbit holes. And I just had a moment where I tweeted that And I you know I don't actually feel that way right it's science right I think that blowback was so fierce that you know I Nike was like come on Get out there. Let's make it. Let's let's make a statement. That's really wild. I will say I love his shoes Kyrie Irving has the sickest like Pocahontas brown yes that look like moccasins

that have the what are these called tassels? Kyle you would love them you would love it. Oh fringe it's fringe dude. Yeah it has the fringe all the way around them and so you gotta check these out they're a great shoe. It's just beautiful him running around with this fringe just flapping in the wind it's fantastic Wait, it's on his it's on the surely ballers like his shoes, too. It's on the shoe that he plays in. Yeah. And they're brown. They're brown and they're brown. They look like moccasins. What? Yeah. And when he dunks, he says to Tonka.

Yeah, he does. Yeah. But from 90s WWF, he's referencing the wrestler to what? What only wrestler I remember. Great wrestler. Yeah, and we need to look him up. He seems like he's your guy. He seems like he's your guy. Holy shit. What's the over under that Tatanka? The wrestler was actually Native American. There's no way. He's white as fuck. No. His name is Ronald McDonald or some shit dude. No doubt in my mind. Clyde Winchell. No doubt.

Oh, Tatanka Clyde Winchell of course. His name is Michael Jackson. He just has a name that's super common and somebody else's name. Dude, Tatanka was running it in the 90s. That bro, I think he- His name is Chris Chavis. Chavis, what's Chavis? Well, Chavis.

Chavis could be something. Chavis. Yeah, usually like CH's. Chavi. Yeah, that's a common in, you know, native language. Yeah, true. I just, for whatever reason, my photos popped up and these two photos were the two photos that were just there. And it's us it's Jerez and I

from the MTV Music Awards. Looking so high 21 holes. These are those photos of us sitting in front of behind Foster the People just borderline. Those pictures are really funny. Yeah, borderline blackout. Guys, clothes. Durs is wearing a purple tie, like, it's sick. We're out there. Dude, I love that Durs' look, it's like, you gotta dress up, it's the MTV Music Awards,

and he wore a purple tie. Oh yeah. And I dressed like an elementary school kid. Nah school kid or whatever free LRG we had yeah and yet here we are shout out to LRG they really like this when we sat next to Rebecca Black and we were like Friday congratulations on all your success and she's like dad help me I think so Friday yeah she was on your side and the remember the guy we've had to have told this on the podcast. Oh, jeez, Rebecca Black. It was Philippe Dumont, who was the head of Viacom at the time.

And the woman was sitting next to me. I was like, if you want champagne, I know the champagne guy. He could hook you up. I've got a good rapport with him. And she's like, do you know who you're sitting next to? And I go, no, I'm Adam. She goes, this is Ders. This is Philippe Dumont,

the head of ICOM. And he's like, hey, pleasure to meet you. Workaholics, right? And I'm like, oh yeah, wow. And then I go to the guy sitting next to him and I go, are you a Titan of industry as well? And the guy looks over and goes, I own Sprint. By the way, Philipe did not know workaholics. Let's be clear about that. No, he said workaholics. He did say it. That's fucking cool. No, Philipe's a huge holics head, dude. If there's facts, you can fact check. He's a holics head.

I swear to God, he did say it. He did say it. I hung my hat on that. He's a holllocks head dude Belieps of hollocks that we're big in France. No way in hell. He even knew Comedy Central existed I believe where the hollocks head now he did I'm not not not fibbing. I he did say it he did say it But that was a that was a very fun night these shoes are fucking unreal. Yeah, those are by him Kyle You can buy on are you should wear those when you play pickleball can you buy that version I believe so I mean I don't

know you're the sneaker guide I those might be PE player exclusives I feel like I'm gonna look so I feel like I should play them a play pickleball in them I feel like I should yeah that would be super tight I would be really high and Kyle if you could just block the entire camera with your phone, that'd be better. What's up? Yeah, for being a director, he doesn't really know lighting or camera angles or composition.

What the hell is going on? I'm doing audio. I don't think about the video when we do the pod. I'm sorry. Oh, shit. And if anything, I think of it as a secondary thing, but you gotta watch the video. All the fans out there, you gotta watch the pod. I'm sorry. I think about and if anything I think of it as a secondary thing But you gotta watch the video all the fans out there. You gotta watch the video Yeah, you have to watch the video and and I honestly go on YouTube

Don't think of it as a secondary thing because no Thousand subscribers yes almost if we get a hundred thousand we get a goddamn plaque and get a plaque We want the plaque people I'm saying I'm wrong in thinking that the visual is secondary I am saying that I am wrong and if you are a fan of the pod do not think like me. Okay. Thank you Bye. Thank you. Can we talk to the audience real quick? Yes Like what are you guys doing? Yeah Hit the subscribe button like I feel like our subs are low our subs are subs are so low guys

So we need a sub sub just based on our listeners. I'm like, do you guys not want to look at us? We got a lot of listeners. We got a lot of listeners got a lot of listeners bring it over to YouTube It doesn't even matter if you watch it. Just sub get us the plaque What so if we get to 100K, we get a plaque. We get a plaque. Yes. If you guys don't fucking do it. We're almost there.

I'm going to fucking. I guess it's a lighter that he can't figure out how to work. There it goes. Is that what you got for your birthday? That looks like a birthday present. No, this is a road trip up to Mammoth at a gas station. That is a good pickup. Good pickup, brother.

I'm a little bummed. I go to I have a new assistant that's going to be helping me on righteous gemstones and she's fantastic. But I will say a little bummed because I go hey I need five lighters for the house. Dealers choice. I want you to pick out the most fun lighters you can. That's so nice of you as a boss. Don Cain! And then she came back with the five just regular color

lighters. I was like, there's a lot. What's a regular color? There's just yellow, green, blue, black. That's fun. Is that regular? All those together is fine, dude. That's not fun.

That's not fun. Maybe that's stepping out for this person. What are you expecting? Look at Dyrs's lighter. That's what I kind of expected. For the listeners at home, we have a double barrel shotgun lighter. Double barrel shotgun lighter, dude. With two lighters. Yeah, that's fun. That's off the chain. That is fucking fun as fuck. Little disappointing, but everything else is going fantastic. Okay, yeah. And that can be

corrected. Do they at least have a little governor on them? Can you soup them up? Yeah. Dude, I have one of those lighters. No, no, no, it's big, they're big. I got one of those lighters today. Maybe you should dress her down a little bit about it. Maybe you should fire, I say let her go.

Yeah. Dude, make an example. No, we're gonna keep her around. Any take packs, any apologies, any epic slams? Yeah, I'm gonna slam your assistant. That's what you need. What Kyle's got. Cause Kyle, do you take off the top and then like open up the governor big time? So it's like, yeah, right. That was like a high school, like day one thing. You bust the, the back out and then your day one, your lighter has a huge torch.

Today one. Did you say high school? This was a junior high day one thing. Well for you, you're an advanced child. You're smoking very early. Jesus. When you're in, you start the seventh grade, they give you light. I got it off. Bust the bus, the bus, the back off and get that torch. I forgot. Kyle was a fricking pyro. Wow. Wow. Hey, impressive. Any take backs? Any? I already did. Now you see that that's the, he was. Wow, Kyle. Hey, impressive. Any take backs? Any, wow, dude, I already did one. No, you see that? That's the top right now.

I'm showing you the top, and then that's the bottom. Do your take backs. This is a visual pod. You should subscribe. You should really check out the pod. Now I'm gonna go up. Yeah, they have to check out the YouTube. It looks like they've,

they might've blocked this, Ders. They might've blocked this shit. No. No. Not if they know it's good for them. No. They prevent kids from getting large torches now. I'm having fun. Dude, I think this is blocked, man.

I'm so sorry. Any take backs, any apologies, any ethics? Yeah, I'm a slam Kyle for not figuring this shit out. I'd like to slam the lighter company. This is fucking bullshit, dude. What is this? Who is this? That sucks. Any take backs? Apologies? You're a fucking disaster, my guy. I would like to give a very special epic shout out to Anders Holm.

Happy birthday, brother. I hope it was a good one, buddy. Happy birthday yesterday, buddy. Happy birthday yesterday. Yeah, it was great. Saw Furiosa. It was alright. We'll save it for the pod. Yeah. This is what it is.

Oh yeah. This is the pod. No, nothing. I can't. CGI. So it wasn't a great birthday. You seem sad, Ders. You seem furious, though. No, birthday was perfect.

Movie kind of let me down. Because the last one was all live action. There was a lot of CGI in this one. And that sucks. I will say, for Mad Max, I was so I was kind of excited. I was like, oh, pretty cool. I love Mad Max. That that fucking rocked. Yes. Mad Max was so good.

It was brilliant. If Fury Road, right to my Fury Road, Kyle. Yeah. Yeah. Fury Road. Brilliant. Yes. It was so fucking fun. And Tom Hardy played it so like tough and real. And you're like, oh, sick. And now they have Chris Hemsworth like with this funny nose

and he's playing it big and cartoony. I'm like, this seems shit. This seems shitty. This doesn't seem like the same vibe at all. It's less than. And I kind of like how streamlined the last one. I know everyone shat on it. Cause it was like, they drive away and then they drive back.

And I'm like, well, yes. But this one's like kind of sprawling almost. Yeah, Furiosa Road. Furiosa is a little too sprawling strong a little too tangential for me There's just times where you're like, what are we doing here? And there's chapters Way to ruin Ders's birthday when they hit you with the last chapter card. You're like this isn't over This is the way right? Yeah ruining Ders's birthday. Okay

This isn't over? Jesus, this is the way. Right, yeah. Ruining Ders' birthday. Okay. Wow. Happy 43rd not. But that, I kind of feel like that's what Ders wants for his birthday.

He does. Is it a bad movie? He gets shit on. Yeah. Ders needs some hate. Oh, I want a good movie. Ders needs some hate. Dude, I watched Saving Private Ryan

with my 10 year old the other day and he was like. Daddy? That's the best movie I've ever seen. I'm like, yeah, it's really good. Well, that's good that he likes good movies. He thought Barry Pepper was like the fucking coolest ever when he's the sniper and he like kisses the cross and like says the prayers and shit

every time he kills somebody. And maybe if he's lucky, he'll grow up and be a sniper and murders a bunch of people. He probably will. And becomes like one of the best snipers. Yeah, if he's lucky. I could see that, I could see that. Oh, wow.

That took a turn. Any take backs? Any take backs? Any take backs? I could see your job being a sniper. Any take backs, any apologies? I'm going to recommend, how about a recommendation? I would re-watch, same private round.

The like, Storm of the Beats at Normandy, that whole fucking scene. Unreal. Unreal. Oh yeah, the Academy of War winner. Storm of the Beats at Normandy, that whole fucking scene, unreal. Unreal. Oh yeah, crazy. They staged that. I actually did rewatch that not too long ago. It is a good movie. I guess I'd cut my hair if they asked me to be in that.

By the way, everybody's in that movie. Who directed that? Steven? There it is, Spielberg. Spielberg, Steven Spielberg. Well, boys, that seems like another episode of... This is important! Purple South!

And... I'm Gary Veeder, and I have a new limited series podcast, Number One Dad. Over this 10 part series, I'll go searching for the truth about my father, a con man, who I haven't spoken to in 24 years. He wants me to act like my injury is even worse for a payout. He's posing as my attorney in a court. There were moments where Manny would assume the role of undercover police officer. Listen to Number One Dad on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever

you get your podcasts. If someone asked you to name a queer icon, who would you say? Brittany, Christina, Shirley Bassey, Tina, Madonna, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey. Bruce Springsteen. This is Because the Boss Belongs to Us. A serious journalistic quest to get Bruce Springsteen recognised as the queer icon we know that he is.

Listen to Because the Boss Belongs to Us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy Pride! It's time for a brand new podcast. Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We've decided, because we are grown consenting adults, that we're going to read a book every

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