This Is Important - Ep 205: Frozempic

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Today, this is what's important: Boating, witches, attempting to pronouce penguins, Teen Witch, Kendrick/Drake diss tracks, South Park, sliced hot dogs, burger & fries, sauces, sandwiches, eating different animals, & more.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Gary Veeder and I have a new limited series podcast, Number One Dad. Over this 10 part series, I'll go searching for the truth about my father, a con man who I haven't spoken to in 24 years. He wants me to act like my injury is even worse for a payout. He's posing as my attorney in a court. There were moments where Manny would assume the role of undercover police officer. Listen to Number One Dad on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Happy Pride! It's time for a brand new podcast. Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We've decided, because we are grown, consenting adults, that we're going to read a book every single week. And here we are. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry,

children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic. It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree, put your glasses on. And listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeartRadioApp Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast Sniffy's Cruising Confessions.

Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. If you love comedy movies and Hollywood satire, you're gonna wanna listen to a brand new podcast called Get It to Dutch. In Get It to Dutch, we play three aspiring screenwriters

on a quest to get a script to big time Hollywood producer, Dutch Huxley. Each week on the podcast, we perform a movie script right before your ears. It's like going to a movie with your eyes closed. And we have amazing guest stars, including Tim Robinson, Rob Hubel, Lily Sullivan, Jamie Moyer, and Weird Al Yankovic.

Listen to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey on iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. From iHeart Podcasts comes Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? 911, what's your emergency? Master Wandy is dead! Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Frankie Grande, Cheyenne Jackson, Robin de Jesus, and Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferry. Ah, ah, ah, ah, lick-a-lick those toesies.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. Listen to Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay as part of the Outspoken Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important.

Today on This Is Important. I love making tuna fish sandwich. Oh, oh, oh, I'm getting fucked in the... I want to get a cheese grater and grate a bunch of hot dogs. I think frogs are pretty cool. Let's gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Oh What's up fellas Okay, dirty came out hot Yellow wolf dude stuff with the shades. Fucking album cover. Bleh. Bleh.

You good? Everybody good? Pizza, pizza. We all good? What's going on? Sorry dude, I just ate a rotisserie chicken so quickly before the podcast. String and all.

Oh man, you just. He's got ropes. So we did two, we're, this, cat's out of the bag, we're doing two podcasts. What? No, no, no, no, no. Don't. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait, don't, don't reveal this.

Don't, we don't, some people. I'm still gonna send it. Yeah, two podcasts in the last two weeks. Oh, in the last two weeks. Yeah, well, it's, whatever. Okay, good, yeah. Kyle doesn't change his shirt. Oh, I'm sorry.

So, I had to quickly, I went downstairs, I got a drink, and then I was so hungry, and I very quickly ate half of a rotisserie chicken. Wait, you just ate? I just ate half of a rotisserie chicken. Let me gobble. And the burps are coming out fierce. Please digests, give your body, yeah, you need to digest.

I would like to do a pre-apology for my burps on this podcast. This is a live digestion from Mr. Divine, huh? Yeah, man. That's what we got going on. That's cool. I love that. What rub do you get, Adam?

Do you get like the lemon herb or do you do like... Because I know there's options, right? I love a lemon herb, but specifically this is a, from the barbecue place down the street and they have their own sort of rub on it. Yeah, that's a little rub. And it is so good and you can get full chickens or half chickens and I got a full, but half was left and I ate it so quick.

Let's go! Nice, brother. But the question was, sorry, before I vomited into my microphone, what jacket are you wearing, cool-ass Ders, dude? Me? Yeah, your name is Ders. This, and it's hot.

It's getting hot. It's cool-ass Ders. Fuck it! Stand up. Give us a little talk about it. Whoa, it's open. Oh, shit. It's like open in the center?

Yeah, it's open. Let me zip it. I know. Let's see that midsection. What you working with right now? This is how we're going to get those subs. Yeah, YouTube subs. Come on, we're going to get those subs. Yeah, YouTube subs. Come on, we're trying to get that.

Oh, whoa. Ders is shaking those. Little wiggle waggle. Little wiggle waggle. Still got him. I still got him. What's crazy is this is supposed to be like a throwback to the 90s jacket.

The 90s. But I think I got it in 2010 from Adidas. Your boobs are huge. But it's like you know it's like an Adidas bulls. Oh yeah it's like a little bulls warm-up. Yeah. I like that. I like that a lot. Yeah. I like that a lot. It's a lot of fun guys. And I like to pretend it's still the 90s. Absolutely. It's the best decade. It's great. It was so good. You know I'm still in my drag suit. Nineties were fun, man. So fun. I'm being real. Yeah, the nineties were so good, dude.

I felt like the sun was hitting a little different in the nineties. Well, we had a little more ozone. Yeah, my family had a boat in the nineties, dude. My family had a boat in the nineties. Okay. What kind of boat did you guys have? Me too. What the hell are you talking about?

We had a ski boat and I would go knee boarding in the Delta in the 90s, man. And the sun felt so damn good, bro. And what are the Deltas to a Midwest boy who never traveled? Yeah, I don't know what the Deltas are. I mean, my mom flew for Delta. Delta? The Delta is like a freshwater runoff, right? Freshwater runoff kind of from from some lakes. Oh, like this is what you drive by.

And it's like out in the middle of nowhere. Like, so this is like when all the like trash and piss and vomit and shit and from the river kind of goes into the ocean and pollutes the water. Water. Yeah, yeah. I guess you were a board. I don't think that's. Water trash. Yeah, yeah, I guess so. You were knee-boarding it? I don't think that's exactly what it was, but yeah, I guess so.

You know what I mean? Well, dude, my family, we were like Huckleberry Finch. We were in the Mississippi River, the sloppy, the big muddy, the big muddy Mississippi. And my dad would just ram his boat up onto a sandbar. Yes. Just kick it there for an afternoon. You go have a picnic, catch some

wizards and stuff, you know. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah. My my grandma would always there was one arrowhead that she always had and she would always like we would be looking for arrowheads and along Mississippi

and she would always hide it and be like the book. There's an arrowhead and we would always hide it and be like, look, there's an arrowhead. And we would be like, oh my God, we found it. Just like good. And then it wasn't until I was older that I realized she was just hiding this arrowhead and letting us find it over and over again. Oh, really? Thank you, God! Oh my gosh. That's cool.

That's cute as fuck. For sure. I like that. I thought you were going to be like, she was like, look, I got this arrowhead. It's right here. Yeah. And then flips us offhead, it's right here. Yeah. And then flips us off, no. Come over here.

I do remember one time, Adam, I remember one time I caught some wizards when we were out on the boat and I used an ice chest. I don't know if I've told this story before, but I used it. And why is this story just to me? Why isn't the other guys, should they like take their headphones off?

You know what, can I go? Can I go get into Can I go? I felt like we were having like a boat connection and these guys were watching I felt like we were doing like some kind of boat connection and it's yeah it's also we get it you guys had boats also because you said ram the boat up on a sandbar and that's what we did we found like this island and we put the boat up and we anchored okay and I like found some dirs if you could take your headphones off for that for this one Yeah, I know. I'm glad you called me on that because I did feel that I'm sorry This is in no way shape or form just for Adam. This is for everyone on the pod of everyone. Okay, my bad wrong choice of words Okay, we're back. What we meant

What riveting content did we miss guy? What did we miss dude trying to tell the story, but I keep fucking up Oh, man, it is about catching lizards Okay, you want to hear it? Everybody, everybody. Adam, Ders and Blaine. Adam, Ders and Blair. Do you want to hear it? Yeah, okay. I'm listening, go ahead.

I caught two lizards. I caught two lizards. I put them in a igloo ice chest. You know those little like lunch packing things? And I put a whole like- Who cares? I put a whole fucking- What did you call them?

A what packing things? Igloo ice chest. I know, but you called them something what? Igloo ice chest I know but you call them on something pack I think a lunch lunch packing thing like a like a lunch packing they're called a cooler Homie a lunch packing science. Yep little tiny cooler. I put two lizards in there. I put like some leaves I put some sticks. I put a couple rocks and I fucking was like, okay. I made a whole ecosystem It's time to go So dead. Yeah, those are dead super Yeah, you got it. You're already there. We hit the waves on the way back and fucking rocks rolled around

Crush their fucking heads, bro. It was so sad. I don't even understand what happened You caught lizards you built a terrarium inside of an igloo and then you closed it word Was that word of the day? Oh, I had him did you forget to do word of the day last week? Oh, no, I remember I did do it was a dynasty Dynasty oh okay cool. That's pretty that's a pretty easy one I mean, and you used it almost too well you were like are any of these teams a dynasty which is yeah Mm-hmm, we got to talk about basketball, and I was like The rocks the rocks they bounced around because of the waves inside of them.

And killed the lizards. And killed the lizards. The rocks bounce around. That's really a bummer. So you pulled them off of their cool ass island, put them in an ice chest, and smushed their heads with rocks. Yep, horrible, horrible thing that I did. And I'm saying it live on the air right now.

You just reminded me, you reminded me that I was reading my kids these Danish folktales and at the end of one, there was like an evil. Was this after saving Private Ryan? When is this? This is during, this is during. Yeah, you show your kids saving Private Ryan and riding the Danish folktales.

This is the witch's tale. Basically, it's like old school Hansel and Gretel type shit. I love that. Yeah, this shit rocks. There was one where like the evil queen did all these things and then she got found out. And then the king it's and these are like burning alive.

These are OG. Oh, worse. It's worse. It's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. And Kylo's lizards in a rock aglue reminded me. It goes like the king got his kids back and then he sentenced the

evil stepmother to be put in a barrel of spikes and rolled down a hill. Oh, damn. But she was evil though. But she was evil though. Sure. But I was like, you know, whatever happened to like banished from the kingdom. It was like, put in a barrel of spikes and roll down the hill. And then like, Danes, good night. Ouch much? Good night. Like, dude. Sweet dreams. I was like, ouch much? Can you imagine a worse, like, first 10 seconds of anything?

That's pretty bad. First 10 seconds? What about the second 10 seconds? Were your kids, like, kind of thrown by that? Or were they like? Or were they blank faced? Like, yes, daddy. Yeah, she was evil. And it kind of teaches by that or were they like... Or were they blank face? Like, yes daddy. Yeah, she was evil and it kind of teaches kids don't be evil or else you'll get murdered.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I mean they both said good. Um, no, I just... I was more shocked than they were. Because I'm their dad reading this shit, so to them it's like, oh this must be normal, but I read it and I was like, uh, crazy ending, anyway. Maybe the punishment didn't fit the crime, right? Is that what you said? Did you say lazy ending? Is that what you said?

Like crazy, lazy ending. Kind of like, no, crazy, crazy, crazy. Blake, but the punishment did fit the crime because she was evil. It was in the- But what did she do? What did she do? Hold on. Yeah.

What's the, we're talking capital punishment here. What's the, what's the crime? What did she do? Hold on? Yeah, what's the we're talking capital punishment here? What's the what's the crime? This is torture to kill. I think she like sent the children away and then like the children were captured by a witch and then she came back and Wow, you know pretty bad. What happened to the children? Are the children okay? Or what happened? Are they all right? I had to escape the witch. I think it was something like that. They escaped luckily They made it out. That's good. What was the witch gonna do, eat him? Yeah. Do all kinds of nasty shit.

She's a fucking witch, dude. Oh, that's fucked up. I mean, it was Hansel and Gretel. What was up with that? Why was the witches always eating kids? Like, why were they cannibals? What was the deal with that? I don't know.

What was to scare kids to like not go out in the woods on their own? Well, why didn't they just say she cuts her dick off or something? Why did they have to eat her? Well, you can't do that to kids. You can't say that to kids. That's pretty scary.

Actually, Blake, that's a good point. I don't know why they didn't say that. Well, Blake, and this is why I've talked with Penguin, the book sellers, the publishers. And they would like to have Blake's children's book. They'd like to make his children's book they'd like to Make his children Yeah, I mean it's Blake. How do you pronounce penguin? I feel like Blake pronounces it strange penguin. Okay. Yeah. Yeah No, it's not like you were a pen when guy. We're like, no, he said he's just said penguin

No, I know Penguin, but some people say penguin you I say pen win who the hell says that I thought it was you the health. I thought you just did no. I don't say thank you Adam. Thank you Yes, I thought you just did I thought he was a guy who says pen one you thought I said pen win Yeah, no, it's not penguin Yeah, penguin. I don't know that it's ping, but you say different than I say Adam saying penguin I don't know that it's penguin. Oh wait wait is I say Adam saying penguin. I don't know that it's penguin Oh, wait, wait, is there not an N? No, there's an N. Is it penguin?

There's no what yeah penguin penguin penguin. Yeah. Yeah, it's a penguin Is it penguin but what throws me off is Adam definitely said penguin? It's penguin. Adam said penguin I said penguin. I know no Adam said penguin. Thank you, Kyle. I do say penguin. I say penguin. But it's not penguin. It's penguin. It is penguin. Penguin.

But I thought Blake was the person who said penguin. Oh, so maybe I say it wrong. Yeah. Yeah, you're saying it wrong. I've said penguin my entire life. Penguin. Well, and we should roll your ass down a hill in a barrel with spikes, dude. And if you put evil in front of my name, then I probably would deserve it if it was a children's book. Wow. Missed pronounce her. Extreme evil. So

you wouldn't if you're writing your children's book Blake and the kids they go off in the woods and a witch is there and someone's you know the witch is going to do some dastardly things to these kids. Right. What not. Eat them or cook cook? You're not going to eat them alive. According to Blake, you're going to cut their dick off. Well, no, not the witch, because the witch probably doesn't have a dick. Right. Well, I don't know. No, cut the kids. What's the cautionary tale, bro? Yeah. What are you teaching these children?

Can you believe what Blake said? How are you not following this? Honestly, you are so dumb. I thought I said that the punishment was cutting. Oh yes, no, okay. Now I remember. Okay, there we go. You're trapped.

No, now I remember what the conversation was. You are so dumb. Sorry, I'm sorry. You are so dumb. Dude, I got thrown by the penguin thing. Yes, okay. Yeah, I guess all of us are still recovering from the penguin thing. Dude, imagine listening to our podcast in your car with your like wife or something.

And she, and you're like, can, Hey, I just really want to listen to this podcast. Do you mind? She's like, I guess so. And then it's just four minutes of us going penguin, penguin, turn it penguin. Penguin. I'm a dumbass. So that's what it would be. I think it should have been a scenario where she, she lures you to her

house with breadcrumbs. You go there, breadcrumbs. She put breadcrumbs and not candy. You in your cage. I'm, I'm, I'm speaking Hansel breadcrumbs. You go there. Breadcrumbs? She puts you in your cage. Breadcrumbs and not candy? I'm speaking Hansel and Gretel. Oh, okay. Well, they left breadcrumbs to find a way home. Yeah, you're trippin', bro.

The fucking Hansel and Gretel, that's how they did it. Yeah, buddy. It's been a while. I don't read grim fairy tales. I'm more of like a Richard Scary, Busy World guy, okay? I don't get into the dark arts. All right, all right, that's cool. I'm into that. Shout out Lowly, shout out Lowly All right, all right, that's cool. I'm into that.

Shout out Lowly, shout out Lowly. Yeah, Lowly is my homeboy. Busy world rock. Okay, Blake, so what would you do as the punishment to the children in your storybook, if you, what are you gonna have the witch do to the children? Because you said you didn't want them to be eaten alive.

Why not cut their dicks off is what you said. So is that what you're going with or as you? Upon like you said, why don't they just have them? We have a publisher on the line, Penguin. What's wants to publish your book, buddy? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, deteriorate. That's way sadder. Because when you say it's a witch, I assume it's a normal person that has witch powers. But how come witches are always into like eating children? That seems weird. That's how they get their power. Yeah, that's they get their powers from me.

I'm starting to think you should be published by random house. Thank you. Oh, wait a second. So I was sitting on that one. You are so dumb. That's how they get their powers. Yeah, these witches are definitely not into just, like, looking at kids starve in cages. That's not what they're into.

Kyle knows way too much about this. I know witches are not into that. Have you told me Kyle got, like, went down a Wiccan path during the pandemic? Beating children. Oh, yeah, the bitch. Oh, I'm just starting my wiccan path. Yeah, I'm just beginning.

Where he's just like, yeah, just like, has this sage all over his house and shit. Well, I mean, what is the most popular witch story ever? Easy, Hocus Pocus. Hocus Pocus. What? They're not there to eat anybody. Wizard of Oz.

Yeah, Wizard of Oz. I'm kidding. I disagree, I think Hocus Pocus is a much more important movie to modern society. What about the one where the witches are like, a witch this, a witch that? Oh yeah, Teen Witch.

Teen Witch. I don't know Teen Witch. Is that Sabrina? No, you don't know Teen Witch? It went viral for being so bad. Yeah. Is that Sabrina? Sabrina the Teenage Witch?

Sabrina the Teenage Witch. No, no, no, that isn't. No, that isn't. No, no, no. No, that isn't, no, no, no. Oh, well, because that's a really good one, too. Yeah. Ooh, I like this witch talk. A witch this, a witch that.

You don't remember that? Oh yeah, the bitch. Where they're like, all in each other, the little like. I kinda do, actually. Yeah. What would that be called? Witch this? It's called Teen Witch.

Teen Witch. I wanna say Lonely Island like spoofed it or did a sequel or some shit. Yeah, that seems right. That seems right. That seems right. There were we there. They got their finger on the pulse. We like to talk about things 15 to 20 years later. And Sabrina, the teenage witch, was Clarissa, right?

Melissa Joan Hart. Yes. Yes. Melissa Joan Hart. Put some respect on her name. Melissa Joan Hart. Yeah, come on. Melissa Joan Hart was Clarissa. And and then she was a witch. That's tight. She had a hell of a run. She had a hell of a run. Guys it wasn't witch this and witch that it was top that. Top that. What do they say? So top that. Oh top that. So that's why you couldn't get it. That's why you didn't understand what we were saying.

Yeah, that doesn't have anything to do with witches does it? Wait hold on now I can play it as soon as this ad. I think you guys fucked up. Let the ad roll good. It's the right it's the right cadence. We had the right cadence. We just did. Thank you Now it cuts back to them riding on the bike. And then the girls, they also battle back. So I feel like we got to hang on. Right. Listen, listen to their rebuttal. The girl, she looks like Blossom. It's kind of cool.

She's got that cool hat on. I wish you guys could see it. Yeah. Me too, man. Everyone at home is like, I'm going to drive into a pole. Me too. Okay. I think we get it, but it's top that it's really good.

Worth doing it. You didn't even get to the part that you wanted to get to. And then you said, I think we get it, but it's top that. It's really good. Worth doing it. You didn't even get to the part that you wanted to get to and then you said, I think we got it. You didn't skip, so worth it. Okay, let me skip ahead. Hold on, here we go. You didn't even get it. That's a complete waste of time.

Yeah. I'm Gary Veeder and I have a new limited series podcast called Number One Dad. It may have been the greatest scam for a sports fan. In the 90s, my dad and I ran a con for years where we snuck into the world's most prestigious arena, New York's Madison Square Garden, and I interviewed some of the biggest athletes in the world, even Michael Jordan. But this wasn't the only scheme my dad was pulling.

He's posing as my attorney. In a court. Everything my dad did was a scam. There were moments where Manny would assume the role of undercover police officer. My father's never-ending string of lies ultimately broke apart my family. And at 15 years old, I completely cut him out of my life.

That was 24 years ago. I have no idea where he lives or what he's up to but my goal is to track him down and get to the truth about who my father Manny Beter really is. Brooklyn Federal Court House. My father was involved in a case from the early 90s and I'm just trying to get information. You better hope that your dad doesn't find out about this before you're ready to talk to him. Phone ringing Sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.

Listen to Number One Dad on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy Pride! It's time for a brand new podcast. Do you love weird pop culture facts? Like, I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well, then you're going to love the podcast I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. You've probably seen books at Barnes and Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I wonder what is inside of them. We've decided because we are grown, consenting adults, that we're going to read a book every single week. And here we are. You

probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We discuss the inner workings of the minds of these authors at great detail. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic. It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree, put your glasses on. And listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. If someone asked you to name a queer icon, who would you say? Britney, Christina. That's not who we were thinking about. Try again. Shirley Bassey, Tina. And again. Madonna, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey.

No, there's still someone you're missing. Bruce Springsteen. Bruce Springsteen. Bruce Springsteen in particular. Leather Twink, Bruce Springsteen. Just very hand on hip, sassified Bruce. This is Because the Bus Belongs to Us. A serious journalistic quest to get Bruce Springsteen

recognised as the queer icon we know that he is. There's so much camp potential with him. On my dating profile, I had something about being a fan of Nebraska-era Bruce Springsteen. It's like you squint and everyone can be a birch. Listen to Because the Boss Belongs to Us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, I'm Mark. I'm Greg.

I'm Brendan. And this is a trailer for a new podcast called Get It to Dutch, A Screenwriter's Journey. It's about screenwriting. And a journey. The three of us play aspiring screenwriters on a quest to get a hit Hollywood script to famous producer Dutch Huxley. Well, I would say one of us is aspiring and the other two are sort of struggling. Which one of us is aspiring?

Well, they're going to have to listen to the podcast. But I don't know and I made the podcast. Well, I made the podcast and I think you guys were along for the ride. Each week we bring in a script, we read it, and then we give each other notes. And you'll also hear about our adventures navigating the Hollywood system The show features amazing guests like Tim Robinson Lily Sullivan weird Al Yankovic and Rob Hubel and like any great blockbuster It's filled with heartbreak Adventure suspense and just a little tasteful nudity and some distasteful nudity

Sorry about that guys listen to get it to Dutch a screenw's journey on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm home. Everyone knows that it's dad's job to be a bit of a joker. Sorry I'm late everyone. There was an accident at the factory. Monty fell into the upholstery machine. Don't worry though, he's fully recovered.

Good one, Dad. Did you get the pizza for dinner? So he likes to keep everyone happy with some Dad jokes. Yep, right here. I had a coupon, and it saved me a lot of... dough. Well the truth is, Dad is just a fun guy. Hey, I'm not a mushroom. Please stop. Where does he get these stupid jokes from?

He listens to the Daily Dad Jokes podcast. Oh great, more Dad jokes for me. We've delivered over 15,000 jokes to over 3 million listeners and man, the postage fees are killing us. Listen to the Daily Dad Jokes podcast every day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I do have a quick question for Ders, because I think he would know this. You know how like a lot of rappers have like, or not rappers, producers of rap?

They have their thing that they say, like another one or whatever to let you know that it's their track. Yeah. Yeah. And that Kendrick Lamar song that's super popular right now, the diss track to Drake, when they go put it on a beat. Ho. Right.

Is that the producer, DJ Mustard or whatever his name is? Is that his saying? Because I've heard that in many other songs. Damn son, where'd you find this? Yes, it is, Adam. Yeah. First of all, they call these, what do they call ad-libs, right? They call it an ad-lib.

Well, that's like the DJ's drop, right? Right. But I think they- I thought it was a signature. Yeah. It's not an ad-lib because ad-libs are the guys in the background's drop, right? Right, but I think they... I thought it was a signature. Yeah, it's not an ad lib, because ad libs are the guys in the background being like... Yeah.

No, but don't they call it an ad lib? Yeah, no, that's like what rappers do, but DJs have like their drops, their signature drops. It's gotta be like a signature, yeah. Like Mustard on the Beat. What is a DJ ad? Is it Mustard on the Beat? I thought it was Put It on a Beat, ho.

Is it Mustard on the Beat, ho? Is that what it is? Producer tag is what Todd, Todday is saying. Tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, okay. Yeah, what would your tag be? That's a good, that's a good cube. Mine would be, oh, oh, oh, I'm getting fucked in the butt. Oh, sweetheart, get in your divine's new track. Everyone's on the dance floor. Oh, unbelievable. I'm getting fucked in the butt. Oh shit, this is my jam.

This is my jam. Hey, where you first at? No! Honestly, you're making millions. You're making millions with that. You're not failing. I'm getting fucked in the butt. You're not failing with that.

That's rising right up the charts. Yeah, I think so too. I like that we're talking about the Drake and what's his name, beef now. After it's kind of done, yeah. Topical. Oh. Yeah, we should get into it.

People wanna know what we thought. What's our hot take? Who won? Hey, who won? Yeah, who won? Who do you guys think won? Well, that last song by Kendrick was the banger. That was the, put it on the a you know, I don't know.

I don't know. Kendrick won just because West West Coast. I'm a West Coast dude. Yeah, I'm team West Coast. Mm hmm. Drake hasn't put out a good song in like 10 years. So that's fine. That's fine for me. The way I look at it is I'm like, I don't know who won the battle. I don't know if I was paying attention. I just am like, who would I rather hang out with? And I'm like, I think I'd rather hang out with Drake.

Okay, okay, I see the argument there. Yeah, hang out with a bunch of 16 year old girls? I'm outta here, Ders, what the fuck? Oh my God! Team Kendrick! Dude, certified pedophile. He said, I'm outta here. He's a certified pedophile, dude.

I didn't know he was certified. Who is certified? That's what Kendrick says. He's certified pedophile. Yes. He's a fan. He's a fan. I guess I listen to all the tracks. Yes, I did. I got to listen.

Yeah. Am I more hip hop than you? No. Yeah. Adam, can I ask you this? Did you listen to them like now like after the fact or were you listening to it while they were? Dropping I listen to it while while it was happening. Okay, so you had your you you were you were on the pulse for that You were a part of it. I had my little finger on it. Yeah, my little finger. That's cool, dude That's freaking hip-hop. What do you do if Kendrick Lamar hits you up and is like, hey, let's hang out. Hey, Adam.

What do you guys think you're doing that night or that day together? I only imagine him driving around South Central. That's the only thing I can envision him doing. Like running errands? So you were like, we're never gonna be cruising together. And like going to like an Astro Burger or something.

Just hitting up like a local fat burger. Yeah, getting some lunch. I feel like you'd spend a lot of time in the studio too. I feel like you just would. I feel like I'm so low key and Kendrick is so low key that like with our powers combined we wouldn't do anything. It's a pretty boring time. Yeah, whereas Drake would be like, come on Anders, let's go out.

There's a new preschool. But that's not what I, I don't like that. I don't want to, I don't want somebody to be like, come on, let's go out. I want to just hang and eat a burger. Yeah, but Drake, I will say I understand Dyrsa's point, even though Drake has a certified pedophile. His plane, his plane, I do want to go on his plane. His plane, Angel Air. Wow, dude. I saw Rick Ross said it's not a good plane. I saw that. He said Rick Ross is like it's a it's an old like luggage

plane that people sit in. He said be careful. He told him to be careful Even though he's a boss. Yeah. Yeah By the way, is it okay? It's okay for to me if it's an old luggage plane because it's not that now True. Yeah, that's fine. Like we can't judge each other's plane. No, no like the house I didn't like the kitchen in the house I bought so I renovated it. Did you see the little tour of the plane? It's fucking unreal It looks like the coolest dopest like lounge. It looks like Delilah's the club in LA where you're just like it's kind of it's sick It's just like a cool

Rick Ross's plane or Drake's plane because Drake has a plane as well, correct? That's who we're talking about. We're talking about Drake's plane. Well, this is Drake's plane. I don't think Kendrick has a plane. I think Kendrick has much, much less money than Drake. I think Drake is nearing a billy, a young money billionaire. Really? Yeah.

And Kendrick, I don't think is anyone close to that. Well, because he has to split it. That's what Drake says. But Kendrick's plane, I bet Kendrick's plane is just kind of like, what's Kendrick's plane? It's a nice plane. Of course. I'm not saying it's not nice. I'm saying vibe wise. I don't think he has. Is it like beanbag chairs? I don't think he has a plane. I think he's leasing. He's still leasing his planes. Perfect. You know? Or is he just chartering them? Is he actually even? Yeah, maybe he's like John Madden and he only takes buses he's a he's afraid to fly I could I get that vibe

Yeah, he kind of seems like I only ride the bus guy. Yes. Stay grounded. Yeah. Yeah, or trains don't trust pop on a train I bet he's a train motherfucker That's the move by the way, because he's not and even in Drake songs what he was he was rapping about how like he isn't Popular outside of the US Kendrick isn't which I could believe I could believe that he's not wildly internationally successful When Drake is sure sure and is that because of the voices that he does when he raps like he does you like the Muppet voice always kind of I don't know okie dokie I think they're cool I think he shouldn't be embarrassed about his regular voice I think he's got a beautiful voice I agree

I agree well is that his I think that is his voice or is he like like I got a silky smooth cool voice? And then, and then when he goes to rap, he's like, he just comes up here. Yeah, but he does other voices. Yeah, he does like kind of even a more high pitch where he keeps going up. Yeah, he's performing.

There's nothing wrong with having performing. Sometimes he'll go into a British accent. Dude, it's weird, bro. Does he? Wait, does he? Yeah, he's like, very shagadelic. You guys need to listen to that. I will say, my favorite, one of my, you know how like,

in old hip hop albums, they used to do like interstitials all the time, and they'd kind of tell like a little story throughout? Yeah, those were great. Thank you, Dale. Little skits. Go ahead. He had, in Mad City, which was Kendrick's album,

he had the best runner all time of just like, he took the car and his mom keeps calling him because his dad is drunk and wants Domino's. Very shaggy, dearly. In the background. And he's just like. Pretty good. And they're just like, come home.

Like they got in like a gunfight and someone was killed and the mom calls. And she's like, I just want you to come home. I hear a gunfire off in the distance. Like he's not even tripping about the dominoes no more. And then the dad's in the background going dominoes. Someone say dominoes. And I'm like, this is the fucking best. There's like this tragic song right before.

And then kind of a funny sketch about this dad really wanting Domino's. Pizza, pizza. And the power of pizza. Well, wait, isn't there something about Kendrick with Trey Parker and Matt Stone? Like they're hooking up to do a project. King Kendrick Lamar. Who is?

Pizza, pizza. With Matt Stone? Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Kendrick Lamar are all hooking up to do a project, yes. I don't have the details on it, but I remember flagging it as like, whoa. I don't have any details and really any knowledge of it at all. I don't have confirmation.

No, no, it's super under wraps. It's super under wraps. But there was some announcement that I saw, and I was like, that's interesting. Here's a variety.com article. Super under wraps. Here's a variety.com article. Super under wraps. Here's the variety.com article. I don't remember if they said what it was.

Right. When in the article I read. Yes. So Kendrick Lamar's comedy with South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker sets July 25th release date. So we think you have a comedy. So they already did it. Seems like a comedy kingpin, this Kendrick Lamar.

I wonder if Kendrick came to them or if Matt Parker and Trey Parker and Matt Stone were like, heard his voice and they're like, we have to make a cartoon with this fucking guy. Well, they were like, oh, you do a lot of different voices, so do we. It was a bit of an audition, wasn't it? Oh. Yeah. There we go. Okay. I of an audition, wasn't it? Oh. Yeah, exactly. Okay. I didn't know he was putting out an album.

Yeah, Mad City was kind of a bit of an audition for Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Genius. You got the part. Grammy winning album. Genius. You got the part. You're the new Timmy.

Timmy! I watched the South Park Ozempic episode. Ooh, how was it? I think those guys are so funny, but I never watched South Park. I don't know what it is. I just can't like click into it. Cartoons, you don't really watch cartoon.

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, I don't like Family Guy or Simpsons really, but yeah, I was like, I gotta see. Yeah, it's pretty funny, but like, I just don't, I don't know. I wish I... I'm a little bit that way with South Park too, and I love every episode I've ever seen a little bit that way with South Park too.

And I love every episode I've ever seen of South Park. They're hella funny. Well it is. They're great. And I'm like, oh I love that. And then I just don't watch it. Right. Well there's a lot of them.

Sure. With The Simpsons as well, there's tons. So you like don't know where to start. Sure. I feel like I used to watch The Simpsons a lot. Like I would watch The Simpsons and for whatever reason I never. Yeah, that was a big, during dinner in college,

the reruns were playing and we would always watch like two episodes back to back and just crush some chef boyardee. Boom, boom. The cause of diarrhea. Delicious. Boom, dude, I love that, I love that. That got me looking at you.

I don't know either, I don't actually actively seek out South Park either, but I I love that. I love that. That got me looking at you. I don't know either. I don't I don't actually actively seek out South Park either, but I do think that everything that I watch on there is very fucking funny. That is interesting. Why don't I go after it? I watch anything on CombiSense. It's almost too good. It's almost too good. Is that what it is? Is there do we feel threatened by their prowess?

Yeah, it's depressing. You're like, God damn it. It's too funny. Yeah. Yeah, we're feel a little threatened by them. Yeah. We're like, oh, we're too stupid because they do have this format where they can they can say funny shit really fast. Is that what it is? It's like top. Yeah, that's why. That's exactly that's what it is. It's the speed. Dude, this is why we have the podcast so we could talk about funny shit really fast. Hip beefs hold up two months ago and we've recorded six podcasts since then it could have brought it up but yeah we know we're not into that really fast

stuff we don't like our comedy really fast and new we like our comedy really old dated. We like to have the last take. Your Shepardee comment really kind of took me down memory lane a little bit. You're welcome. Like, in college, what was your... What do you kind of miss that you do not eat anymore? Because we're not young buds.

Oh, the good snacks. Biscuits and gravy. Dude, I miss... I used to eat so much mac and cheese. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, I thought you were asking. Oh yeah, mac and cheese is delicious. And hot dogs. Together.

That'll come back. Like, cut up hot dogs in the mac and cheese. Yeah, that's the best. That's gonna come back. Yeah, that's good. All the time. It'll come back. Oh, with kids?

Yeah, little bows. Slicing hot dogs into stuff crosses a line for me. What? Really? Oh, man. Culturally, it's not... In Chicago, it wouldn't be allowed. You could grind them if you wanted to. What, really? Oh, man. Culturally, it's not. In Chicago, it wouldn't be allowed. You could grind it if you wanted to.

I remember some friends, like the SpaghettiOs with the hot dogs, to me that just crossed a culinary boundary for me. Oh, wow. What? That's totally different. That's totally different. So when you were a child, you had a lot

of culinary boundaries? Yeah, what's going on here? Well, thinking back now, I didn't know what it was. I just had this feeling. I'm so fucking hungry. That's different because that's a canned hot dog. And now with age, experience, and perspective, I now know it's culinary boundaries, which we all have.

Yes, yes, yes. Of course, you have to set your boundaries. Just seeing sliced hot dogs in stuff made me go, no. But if you're slicing it yourself, I mean, I understand the canned element for you. Even worse. That's canned element. There's a canned, it's gross.

Even worse? Even worse? Slicing a hot dog just seemed like it made it gross. It suddenly made it gross. What, is it phallic? Is it cause it's phallic? Is it, we going back to the witch stories? Like, is that maybe?

Well, look, with age, wisdom and experience. Yeah, maybe that is a phallic boundary I have. You don't like to see hot dogs get sliced up. No, but I love seeing a banana sliced actually. What the fuck, bro? You're wild. You're wild, man. I love when you see like a dice banana laid out

on some like oatmeal or some shit. What about having, okay, have you ever had a thinly sliced hot dog? Have you ever tried that or are you just doing like chunks? Yeah, like very thin. The ever had a thinly sliced hot dog? Have you ever tried that or you just doing like chunks? Yeah, like the very the description of a thinly sliced hot dog very does it makes me want to fucking barf I wonder you know that there's some chef out there that does like very thinly sliced Hot dogs and then puts them on a pizza and makes the pizza and it's the best so good Put some on a pizza and makes the pizza and it's the best so good best tasting thing of all time Oh, that sounds gross dude imagine as a sliver of hot dog sounds so good to me

It's like it's like truffles. It's like truffles they do Little jalapeno I want to get a cheese grater and grate a bunch of hot dogs and sprinkle it. Say when? Say when? Sprinkle it on my salad. The only thing I would consider would be like two hot dog slices like over my eyes at the spa.

And that's it. Well, that's gonna add a couple years on you, baby. Youthful glow. No, a hot dog full, but like a sliced up hot dog just seems like. Is it does it? Does it have anything to do with the fact that you're seeing the inside of the hot dog? Like in that part is like kind of gross, you know, when you look at the side of a of a sliced hot dog, it does look fucking like nasty.

It doesn't. It looks the exact same as the outside. No, the outside is is like smoother. The outside is smoother. The inside is like rougher and bumpier. And that's kind of nasty. But much it's kind of a nasty dude. Yeah, it's kind of not much. But you know what I'm saying, right? You're not like we're living in the same world on the same timeline. Not like arteries and shit. I understand those are I'm I'm gleaning what you're saying, but. OK, so that was the word of the day. What?

Gleaning? Gleaning? No. What does that mean? Oh, it has to be. You're reading something. I'm like... Oh my God!

I was gleaning the information that you're giving me. Gleaning? Gotcha, bitch! That's a good one. What is that word? What is that word? Yeah, I don't know what that means. I knew that word.

Some I don't know. And by the way, not to let the cat out of the bag, but but previously said you only do the word of the day on Merriam Webster We're doing two episodes in one day. So where's this other word? Back a few days. No, no, don't tell them don't tell them that we're doing because two of the words I couldn't pronounce I was like, I'm not Then so my other question is just to stay on this for second, other words that we've been like that was the word of the day and you said no it wasn't, were those previous words of the days but not of that day? No. Okay. That's all I need to know.

Okay carry on. Hot dogs. Back to hot dog shavings. Glean hot dog. Thinly sliced hot dogs. Like hot dogs on nachos? No thank you. Well Jere, who does that? Who puts hot dogs on nachos? No, they will dress who does that who puts hot dogs on? I've never ever I would never think about that You guys are talking about hot dogs on pizza like is normal, bro. We're talking about hot dogs in Mac and cheese Yeah, it's like don't make me go into like a Kendrick Lamar voice like

Well, I think that would be pretty good and also it was some mac and cheese mac and cheese is a very normal thing Durs is also the type of guy that when he eats a cheeseburger or something He will only he'll eat all of his french fries and then Eat all of his cheeseburger or a sandwich and chips. It's the same thing. Oh you do you do that? Yes, and that is a sociopath way to eat food Yeah, and I think that kind of goes into the mixing of other foods and that's why you don't like it. Okie dokie. Adam, I'm not a big, I'm pro-segregation.

I don't like to mix things up. I knew that's where this was going. I think certain things belong where they are. You're a fucking disaster, my guy. Yeah, I knew it. I knew that's where you're going with this. Wow. What's even weirder, Adam, to your point, which is a thing I want to start saying a lot,

just to piggyback on what you're saying, you know, if I'm being honest, when you, at the end of the day, like the chips or the fries at the end of the day, when I'm eating the chips or the fries and then I'm like, okay, I'm done. And then I eat the like burger or the hot dog or whatever. Going back to the fries or the chips is always like, I feel like I'm breaking the code. I'm like, you've moved on. Yeah, and that's so weird.

What, what is this? I don't even understand that. Were you punished as a kid? Were you told like, you finished your pride? No, when I was lit out of the basement, when they blew the horn for dinner, I was always told that the fries were you I had to wait I had to eat my burger first and then I had To eat the fries what I had to what I wasn't allowed to have my fries until I eat Like that. Oh, yeah. No, I know that I know that having kids now

That's just saying you have to eat, don't just only eat fries. You lose! Yeah, don't fill up on fries. That's what they would say. You can't fill up on fries. You gotta eat your burger first. I wonder if I eat fries only out of revolt. That's spiced.

Out of, yeah, out of a revolution. Yeah, I like that. I was such an obese little child. There was no way that I was going to fill up on anything. I was like... When you guys have a burger and fries, is the fries what you're really looking forward to or is it the burger? I still do this.

I still barely do any fries while I'm eating the burger. I just go straight for the... You hit the burger and then... Kyle, I think you're making this up, dude. Impossible burgers? I think I might be too. I actually think I might be too. No. Are we talking Boca impossible. I think I might be talking bokeh burger I think I might think you wanted to be part of the conversation a little bit. I think I'm making this up

You you were trying to be part of the conversation a little bit you're like well, I need to have a stance here So, okay. Sorry. Yeah for real when I was growing up, though, that was the rule. I see that. I think that's just like, hey, finish your plate. Well, eat your burger first was what it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Gary Veeder and I have a new limited series podcast called Number One Dad. It may have been the greatest scam for a sports fan.

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Looking forward to the fries? I don't think that is a thing unless you know that a place has bomb ass fries. Fries are always for me okay. I like them. I like them. They're delicious. Fair. But I'm never, I'm never like, I'm hungry for french fries. I'm pissed now! I'm always hungry hungry for french fries. I'm pissed now I'm always hungry for a cheeseburger. Oh Yes, you don't go to a place because the fries are good and the burger sucks you go for the burger, right? Have you ever gone one place to pick up fries and then scoot it over to a different place to get the burger though?

Oh damn, that's a Drake move right? I think I've done that. Wouldn't even know that. That would never creep into my mind. Wow. What would be the what would be the solo fries? What's the solo fry? I think like back in the day Burger King had a fry recipe for like six years that was a banger. I remember them good. Those were good fries. They're extra crunchy. Yeah. They're extra crunchy. Yeah and I think I might have gone somewhere and then been like, I'm going to go get those BK fries. Damn, that's crazy. OK.

The chicken fries. I mean, you guys, I was out of control. Yeah. I don't even know who you are anymore. My culinary boundaries evaporated. I was fast and loose, hitting drive-throughs. Yeah, hot dog. I don't know what that is.

I don't know what that is. With the hot dog, that is. What do you ever do with the hot dog? Adam, here's a question for you with the cheese. Hot dog, Adam. Hot dog. That would make a lot of sense. Hot dog. So you cut your hot dog up, you put it in the mac and cheese. Do you put ketchup on that dish?

I don't like ketchup in my... I used to put... I know you were. I think I've seen you eat this exact meal before. And you look like a macaroni and cheese, I put ketchup on my mac and cheese kid. I think I've seen you eat this meal before. I thought it was so good, I still think it was.

You put ketchup on it? It's kind of a dirty move, it's kind of a- Water trash. Yeah, it's kind of a trash move, it's kind of a white trash move. Yeah, I don't, I do not do that. Did you ever put ketchup on, I think we've covered this, but did you ever put ketchup on chicken tenders

or chicken nuggets? Oh, I took a hard stance. That's bullshit. It's disgusting. I still do. It's awful. Why? I love it.

I actually, I prefer barbecue. I prefer barbecue sauce. It's delicious. But barbecue sauce is better. Yeah, it is. It's 100% better. Well, sometimes you don't have barbecue sauce. I would agree that barbecue sauce is better.

You don't have it? I always have barbecue sauce. I always have barbecue sauce. I literally always have barbecue sauce. I would agree that barbecue sauce is better. You don't have it. I always have barbecue sauce. I literally always have barbecue sauce. That is the only sauce I have. That's true. I will say I always have buffalo sauce. This is the way. Okay. That's kind of cool. I would say I have barbecue sauce much rare spotting in my fridge. Wow. That's interesting. That's interesting. You're always got, I always got barbecue. What? Barbecue. Barbecue. Yeah. We believe you. We believe you. I always have. I always have barbecue. Can't drink Lamar over here with the voice. You don't have to say something just to fit in. Do we like you? You're our friend. You don't have to just. No, no, no, I love barbecue. I like barbecue and hamburgers. Do a weird accent, a weird voice.

Oh, I love a good rack of ribs. I'm auditioning for Trey and Matt, dude. I'm auditioning for Trey and Matt. Until I go on. King cow. New attack. Can I actually ask you something important? This is important.

Everything we talk about on here. It is, but this is actually really important. I want to know this answer. Usually I ask questions I do not want to know the answer to. What is your, what's your BFF buffalo sauce that you use? What do you use? What's the question? What did you say?

What's the buffalo sauce? What's your buffalo sauce? What's your buffalo sauce? What do you prefer? I go Frank's. Frank's, oh yeah, Frank's is off the fricking chain. Yeah, I love a good Frank's. I thought maybe you would have a deep cut.

No. But they don't call it a buffalo sauce, they call it a red hot sauce, right? Yeah, what is a buffalo sauce? Frank's red hot. No, it's red hot buffalo. Oh, they do call it buffalo sauce. Frank's red hot buffalo, yeah.

There's two versions, I think. I think they have Frank's red hot original, which I also have. And then Frank's red hot buffalo. Okay. I also have the red hot Frank's Red Hot Buffalo. Okay. I also have the Red Hot. Both delicious. And what is the buffalo, what is the,

what makes it a buffalo taste? Do we know what that is? Tatanka? I don't know what the. Tatanka. I don't know what that taste is. That shit's important. It's a tangy, it's a zesty treat.

Is it a smoky? Is it like a A1? It's vinegary. But it is crazy that for chicken tenders, It's vinegar. The liquid smoke. The hate for ketchup is so great because I think that's totally normal. I grew up doing that. You'd maybe put a little ranch on the

plate, maybe do a little mixture. Ranch with chicken nuggets is also very good. You always trickle. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, pause, pause. You would mix the ranch and the ketchup? I still do that. Mix ranch and ketchup. If I'm eating fries and there's ranch there,

I might go like, let me do a little, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Oh, wow. Look, I'm not telling you that that's wrong. I just don't understand it. Gotcha, bitch! I know, you don't understand a lot of stuff, though. Sure.

But like, do you like Thousand Island? But do you like Thousand Island dressing? Because that's a mixture, brother. I'm not alone here. These guys aren't eating that shit. Thousand Island? Huh? Huh? I eating that shit. Yeah. Thousand Island? Huh? Huh?

Huh? I'm saying, do you like Thousand Island dressing because that's a mixture? I do. But sometimes you don't have that. I don't keep Thousand Island on. So if I'm eating it, I don't. No, no, I'm not.

This is for Durs. I'm all about mixing condiments. I think it's OK. I think it's OK to do. Durs cannot. I'll eat a thousand. I'll eat. But Kyle, ranch and ketchup is not Thousand Island.

It's ketchup and mayonnaise is Thousand Island. I know that, but at one point Thousand Island was ketchup and mayonnaise. Okay? But it wasn't ranch. We're talking ranch and ketchup. It was turned into something. Yeah. Yeah, but then it was turned into something.

I'm pissed now. At one point, a hamburger was a cow and a fucking bun was just grass. Exactly. You gotta let things evolve. This is a case for evolution. At one point a hamburger was a cow and a fucking bun was just grass Like what exactly? Let things evolve This is a case for evolution. This is just letting things evolve Letting them... I guess I didn't realize that that was so far-fetched I guess what I'm saying is I and I I stand by this I like things prepared for me

I like it already done. Okay, like I'm not a big fan of making a sandwich for myself. I'd much rather go to a place and have a sandwich made. When I make a sandwich, it could be, like, every fucking ingredient that I want and love, and I make it and I have a bite, and I go, yeah, it's whatever. So when you say that, like, the other week, you said that you, what brings you joy instead of rocket launchers and shooting stuff and shooting down planes and adrenaline, that

kind of thing, you like to create things. So you like to create everything except for food related items. I don't want to, I do not want to make food for myself. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I can make a mean burger, but like sandwich specifically, I don't know. We're just talking about mayonnaise and whatever. I'd rather have a teenager who like sneezed on my sandwich. That's good. Okay. Yeah, I agree. So you don't trust your ability to make us, you don Oh my gosh! And then I'm like, that's a sandwich, that's good. Okay, I guess so. Yeah, I agree. So you don't trust your ability to make us,

you don't, what's your problem? It's not that I don't trust it, it's just that I saw what went into it and I'm like, the magic is gone, I'm like. I know what he's saying. It's like, I'm a huge fan of Witch Witch. I think it's delicious, I think it has infinite possibilities but that's the problem.

When you start to, when you give me too many possibilities and I could put everything on my sandwich, it ends up being a little soup, soup sandwich. Yes. Oh, so you don't trust your culinary tongue. Blake, you also always choose the wrong thing to eat and... Yes. Well yeah, but like if you're gonna have like coleslaw as an option, I'm probably gonna add it to the sandwich. Yeah, we'll all be out to dinner and it's a steakhouse. We're all like, OK, I get a steak. I'll get this. Kyle's like, I'm going to order the salmon. Blake will be like, do you just have a bowl of wasabi?

Thank you, God. I'll try that. Yeah, no, I'm going to get the wedge. A realistic order. He'd be like, what's this frittata? We're like, what are you doing? How is the frittata here? What are you doing? They have a whole page of different cuts of meat and then on the bottom it says frittata? It says also frittata question mark? But it's like wait why are we at a steakhouse and they have a frittata? Somebody back there trusts their skill to make

that. Like that just is sticking out like a sore thumb. Why is it on the menu? Or you'll just be like, ah, how is this Bloomin' Onion? And you're like, hmm, I don't know. Usually they knock those out of the park. Adam, that's a good, that's not a good example. That's a good Bloomin' Onion. I would like to do an immediate take back. Bloomin' Onions are delicious.

Just ride the Frittata. How about quiche? Yeah, cute. Is a Frittata and a quiche the same thing? You nailed it with the frittata, Ders. Hey, points. Crushed you. Crushed you. Here you go, points to you. Yes, points! And by the way, nothing wrong with the frittata at the steakhouse as Adam pointed out. Not a great call. Yeah. Diarrhea. You just went over to the steak. You're not making sandwiches for you guys. You guys aren't making sandwiches for yourselves in your own kitchens.

You're not doing that. I do. I do a mean peanut butter and jelly. That I don't mind. Peanut, B and J. Boom. I don't eat a lot of sandwiches at home, but yeah, I would have no problem making a sandwich. Not a tuna fish? You guys are you guys tuna fish people?

Anybody tuna fish? Blair. I order a tuna fish. I despise tuna fish. That's a no. That's a big no. I love making tuna fish sandwich. Egg salad, egg salad, Blake? Egg salad?

Love egg salad. I love egg salad. I said that I had a, the whole reason I never ate egg salad as a kid was because of the Pee-wee Herman movie, when it was smashing on his face, it sent me into this zone where I'm like, I'm never gonna eat it.

I don't remember this. Big top Pee-wee. It looks so disgusting. That was your culinary boundary Yeah, that was my boundary right there So I never tried it until I turned like 25 and then I tried it and I'm like, this is delicious Yeah, I never had a culinary boundary. I was always I mean, I'm a human trash can so it's a bagel man's boundless Yeah, yeah, that's cool. Boundless. That's cool. There's nothing you don't like? There's nothing you don't like.

Oh, I mean, there's things I like less, but I also would just eat it if that was what was to eat. Like, you've had like Rocky Mountain oysters and that kind of thing. Not like, like, weekly. Yeah, that's Bulls balls, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't care.

We're fine. Yeah. No, I actually don't even think they're that bad. I was like, people are like, ugh, I was like, it's okay. that bad. I was like people like oh, I was like it's okay It's like snails basically fucking chef boy rd, and they're like no Adam you're supposed to get him from this jar You're like biting a bowl It's not that bad It's like snails. They're not bad. They just taste like garlic, but it's like I don't have to eat snails

So I'm not going to sometimes that I got an argument when we're in Peru with Isaac because he didn't want to eat any of their like local Anything thing and he was just like is there a turkey sandwich back there is there a turkey sandwich we tried guinea pig Yeah, it was they're like serving guinea pig. That's like what they eat there what and So we're like okay It's some fucking guinea pig I. And he absolutely didn't want to. They were serving alligator, because that's part of what they serve there. And so we're eating an alligator.

And Isaac was just not partaking. So that's why he's going to get a back tattoo of all of our faces at the next live show. I'm not super into eating rodents. I don't know if that is my vibe. I don't wanna eat a rodent. I don't know what rodents are on the menu. Rabbit and guinea pig. Is a rabbit a rodent?

Yes. Oh, I guess it is. A rabbit is not a rodent, is it? Yes it is. Thank you, Ders. Okay, good, yeah, step in. Rabbit is a rodent. So let's say you're in Wuhan and you're at a wet market. Go ahead. Wet market. I'm with you. Go ahead. So if you're in Wuhan, you're at a wet market.

And everyone is eating. Not a laboratory. Go ahead. Not a laboratory. You're at the wet market and you're eating. Everyone's having a bat. And so it's safe because it's not the laboratory. So we've talked about this. I went. I ordered bat when I was in Seychelles on my honeymoon, because I was gonna eat the fucking bat

and then they were like, we're out. And I was like, why do we even fucking come to this restaurant? Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm with you, Blake. I don't draw, I draw a line there. Like I ordered frog legs the other day when I was in.

Yeah, I don't eat frog. I ordered frog legs and I was like, it's yummy, but I did not feel good eating it. Like I felt bad. I felt like I don't know why I can't. Maybe we can get to the bottom of it. But like, first of all, who gives a shit about frogs? I mean, yeah, cows are cooler animals than frogs. Frogs fucking suck. You think you think cows?

Yeah, no, Adam is right. Like cows, cows are fucking cool and we eat the fuck out of them and it's not like if you're gonna be like oh I don't eat frogs cause frogs rock which is my thought as well. Cows rock too. Cows are fucking cool dude. I think frogs are pretty cool. Who is the frog ninja turtle character that was like Genghis frog right? Genghis Frog. Genghis Frog. Genghis Frog. Yeah. Pretty cool.

And I don't remember the cow turtle character. Thank you. And that's how I base almost all my decisions. That's how I base on what I'm going to eat and not eat. No, I'm not eating flies back. Splinter, I'm eating rat. I mean, that's like when we were in New York and I ordered turtle soup and I felt horrible when I had the turtle soup.

I had turtle soup in New Orleans, I felt terrible, it was very delicious. Yeah, it felt terrible. But wait, is turtle soup good or is turtle good? Turtle, I don't know. I only had turtle soup, it was delicious, I felt terrible, because turtles are kind of like, oh, you know, they're my favorite.

I know, I didn't like eating them. of like, you know, they're my favorite. I know. I didn't like eating them. But like soup is such a, there's like a lot of going into a soup and then there's like the turtle. So like, can it, like what about the turtle makes it whatever flavor? I don't know. That soup was killer. I didn't think it was that good.

I don't even think I ate the whole thing. I just wasted a fucking turtle. It was sad. Yeah. You're basically Shredder, dude. That's what I thought. That's exactly how I felt having the meal. You're basically Shredder, dude. That's what I thought. That's exactly how I felt having the meal. You're basically Shredder.

Well, don't worry. There's enough of them. There's turtles all over the place. I felt like Shredder. It's fine. Yeah. I felt like Shredder. Any take backs, any apologies, any epic slams?

Turtle power. I want to take back something real quick. Rabbits are not rodents. Okay, good. Yeah. You had, I was like, moving on, okay, they're rodents. But it is like a debate. Like, it's crazy that they're not because, you know, one of the biggest things about the rodents is their gnawing teeth. Is their gnawing teeth and rabbits have those, but they are not considered part of the rhodacea phylum.

Rodentian. Yep. Yeah, they're not. They're just straight up mammals. Adam's got a new joke. Is that what they would call it? A mammal? Are they mammals? Is that what they are?

They are mammals. Are they mammals? But rodents are mammals. So then what's the subset? Anything with nipples is a mammal. What's the subset of- The teeth. It's the rodents.

Yeah. I know. So if the rabbits are not, what are they? Hey, take backs. Then what are they? Yeah. What's their classification? It looks like the rabbits are not Then what is what are they yeah, what's their classification?

It looks like the rabbits are hairs. Oh a hair and what is a Apologies, yeah, what's there it is not a rodent that or maybe it is a rodent. I would eat a fair. Oh man We even after watching kindergarten cop dude during we Adam has the you're not frozen Let's try with you either fair it during fucking kindergarten cop you're an animal I love it I am an animal. I would eat. Yeah, who gives a shit? Yeah, you are. You're a mammal. We all are animals. You're a mammal. Yeah, I did a kindergarten. I did a cop. Again. Would you? That's I mean,

I think we've probably talked about this, but would you eat another human if you were going to die? You're like Mount Everest. You think you're gonna die. Is the human already dead or do you have to kill him? They're already dead. Sorry, I thought you were dead. Yeah! What do you have to do?

They're already dead. Ow. They're already dead. Yeah, I'm eating them. Yeah, I'm eating them. Yeah, okay. All right, Blake would die if he's like, ew, icky, gross.

Yeah, no, I'm not eating that. You're a rodent. Can I make a frittata out of you? Okay, really good. I'll make a snow cone, how about that? I will eat plenty of snow before I eat a human that's what your survival tactic is I guess so full of snow cones I can have like two snow cones and be good for the day I'll be up on I'll be up this dude is on frozen be up on Everest eating snow cones, bro.

I'm not dying. Trust me. This dude's on Froze Epic. I love that one, Dersi. If anybody out there has like hot dog adjacent or hot dog infused recipes, slide into Blake's DMs, let them know what they are. Hey, if this weekend you make a DiGiorno pizza and you slice some hot dogs on top of it

I want to see those pigs people not a DiGiorno I want to see the homemade like people make a delicious homemade pizzas Boba Lee in their pizza ovens maybe slice up some dogs on there and see see what it do baby boo I bet it's fucking good. I bet it's good I would love the juxtaposition of someone who owns their own pizza oven and putting hot dogs, like that cross, that's a very, that's a very narrow...

Dude, my buddy Zach, he'd do it. My buddy Zach, we're doing it. Wow, dude! You're saying he would do it. But would he do it without any prompt? I think the Venn diagram crossover is very slim. I don't think he's ever thought of it. I think I think this is a brilliant idea that we've just thought about.

Yeah, we're blowing people's minds. But hang on. My point is, if it was a great idea, a lot of people would be doing it, and they are not. And that's what they said about electricity. Someone has to think of it first, okay? Yeah. One person thinks of it, and then all of a sudden... One person had to figure that out. He's obsessed with Benjamin Franklin. Yeah. Well, the Ben Franklin's of pizza and hot dogs. Edison. I'm a Tesla bitch. Yeah, baby. And also slide into Blake's Dams. We brought this up a few weeks ago. We want some corrections. Like if we're saying wrong stuff, we need to know about it well I mean I totally fucked up what rodents are well not that many the whole yeah the whole it's just gonna be a

laundry list of you are so dumb that's fine I'm looking up rodents and I don't know what a rodent is though this is bad turns out slide into at pod important and tell them if we got something down that'd be nice not not Blake's DMs he doesn't know how to check anything and And I want to because I want to interact with the fans. Not more but differently. I love it. Yeah, yeah. differently. Yeah. Any take backs? Any apologies? Any epic slams? Boys? I definitely did my take backs. I'm good. I stand by everything I say.

I want to apologize to the lizards. My bad. Kyle. You've got major who's that was this episode, right? Adam, who's the stoner stand up who we did his podcast many moons ago? Then Doug Benson, Doug Benson. Kyle's got a major Doug Benson face like you look like the hair that you guys look alike now. All right. Yeah, he smokes so much weed, he starts to look, it's when you smoke enough weed, all the super stoners kinda look the same.

He turned into Doug Benson. They all look like a cunt. That's dope. In our chat, somebody said that's a slam, that's not a slam, that's a glam. No, yeah, thank you. You guys are glow up. That's a compliment.

I think Doug Benson's hella hot. Yeah, that guy's fuckin' sexy as shit. He has a lot of sexual energy. Isaac is saying that is a burn. Take it back, Ders. I don't think it's a burn. I don't think that's a burn. It's not a burn.

I like Doug Benson. That's a shout out. That's a stand on guy. He's like sexual tyrannosaur. Had a long career. Like he's making it work. All right, well, it seems like that might be another episode of... This is...

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