This Is Important - Ep 209: Ain’t Nothin Micro About The Plastic In These Dicks

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

Today, this is what's important: Blood pressure, split tongues, Cirkul, impressions, funny movies, shark week, horror movies, & more.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to Haunting, Purgatory's premiere podcast. I'm your host, Teresa. We'll be bringing you different ghost stories each week straight from the person who experienced it firsthand. Some will be unsettling, some unnerving, some even downright terrifying. But all of them will be totally true. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

From iHeart Podcasts comes Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? 911, what's your emergency? Mastavante is dead! Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Frankie Grande, Cheyenne Jackson, Robin de Jesus, and Kate McKinnon as Angela Land's fairies. Lick em, lick those toesies. Listen to Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? as part of the Outspoken Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeartRadio app,

or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on This Is Important. I've never had my temperature taken that way! Fat Adam's fucking gone, dude. I'm lean, bitch. I can't think straight, okay?

See ya! Let's gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Oh Back on capping and he is a good good good good going Like my guy hopped up should send me slow more so well Well, what I did today is I saved the caffeine until right before the pot Mmm, and then I had some, a little bit of coffee. Yeah, baby, it gets you a little zipping. Then you just fucking main line it. Yeah, a little caffeine.

I had a little punk bunny coffee, that's what I had. Oh, okay, tell us about it. How is it, is it yummy, do you like it? Dude, I've talked about punk bunny. It used to be Oakland coffee, which admittedly bad name. No one gives a shit about coffee from Oakland. Okay, well, punk. I love it. Shots fired.

But Punk Bunny, that's Green Day. It's Green Day started this coffee company and I invested with them because I'm fucking cool like that. I'm so cool like that. And they they changed the name because the punk bunny is their little mascot. OK, OK. Yeah. And the product stayed the same and still as delicious as before.

Yeah, they've actually got a new roaster, so it's even more better. Rrrr, even more better. Rrrr, dude. But yes, I pounded some of that. I pounded some of that. Wow. Way roasty. This is exciting.

Well, what I was excited to and we had a little hiccup and I feel like some things might have dried out. You can talk about Blake fucking up the beginning of the pod. Yeah, he kinda fucked up the beginning. Okay, sure. Well, Kyle's not even here.

At least I attend, but that's pretty cool. We're trimming the fat. Toasty! Yeah, at least you're here. We don't know where Kyle is. Is he eating babies? There's no way to tell. There's literally no way to tell, but.

It's likely. The taste, he needed it again. All I'm saying is he's not here. He could be eating babies. We're not sure because he's not here. I know my boys, Ders and Blake, are needing babies. I don't know that about Kyle. I do not know that.

Never have, never will. I refuse. Never have, never will. It's just not my thing. Not my thing. It's weirdly not my thing. And if it's Kyle's thing, like no shade towards him. I'm just kind of a little bit. Oh, you're gonna shade your friend, dude?

Okay. Don't be eating babies. That's hella mean, they're defenseless. Hey, whoa, what's with the shade? I'm sorry, I have to, unfortunately I have to yuck that yum, okay? I do not agree with baby eating. I'm off that train.

What does yuck that yum mean? Is that a new thing? Yeah, it's kind of like don't yuck that yum. Okay. I do not agree with baking. I'm off that trade. What is yuck that yum? Is that a new thing? Yeah. It's kind of like, don't yuck my yum. Like if I like something that you don't think is good, you're not supposed to like. Oh, and that's the thing the kids are saying? It's kink shaming. Yeah. It's the new kink shaming. Oh, okay. You say yuck my yum. I guess I can chonk. I can chonk on that. Yeah, I might chonk. Yeah, chonk on that one, bro. I can chonk on that lit fire. Chonk that around a little bit chonk on that one, bro. I can chonk on that lit fire. Chonk that around a little bit. Well, I was excited to start the podcast, and then Blake kind of messed it up

with some technical issues. Yeah, wait till you hear this crowd. This is fun. This is really fun. I got on, and the Zoom started, and I looked at my boys, and both their hair was wet. And I unveiled my hair, which was also nice and wet at the time, but now it's dry. Purple South!

Now it's dried. And I'm sorry. So us all having wet hair at the exact same time on the podcast. Why is your hair wet, Blake? Explain yourself. Were you going swimming? I just took a shower.

I just took a shower because I was doing a little bit of weightlifting in the garage and then I did a little run. Had to get some energy out. Hey, you running those ASICs? Wow. And it's hot as fuck. It's really hot as fuck and it's only going to get hotter. Yeah, that's the thing about summertime. It does get warm. And Ders, why is your hair wet?

I think we know. Our fans listening, let me hear. Uh-oh. Oh! What? I'm gonna throw this one at the fans. Eww. Why, man, we know why he's got the wet one. Was our boy in the pool, yo?

Okay, what were you doing? You know what? What's crazy? Back in the pool, back with the Masters team. Nice. And it's the first time. Sounds time sounds racist doesn't feel good. Why what happened really? What does that mean? What happens doesn't I don't have that pop anymore guys. It's gone You lost the fucking disaster my guy low-t. Yeah, it's gotta be the tea

You think it might be low-t or is it that your your titties give you drag? What is it? I feel like my tea is dragging a little bit. Sometimes Sometimes I don't have the little same pep in my step. I didn't want to say anything, but I can... the fair moans you used to have... Yep. They're gone. Yep. They're not oozing? And I thought fair moans were some bitch ass... that's what women have. They have the fair moans.

No, they have... Very shaggedy. They just have... they've just got regular moans. Oh, okay. Oh! Yeah, I give them the moans. Oh, wait. Yeah, I give them the moans. Oh, wait, we'll get you a little bit of... Yes, points!

Little points for that, baby. Okay, all right, sure. It's kind of like a... I liked it. I think it's high blood pressure. I went to the doctor. Oh, no. They got me on the...

They took the blood pressure. They go, okay, it's fine. Then they got me on the treadmill and it was fine. They got you on a treadmill at your doctor's office? Yeah, they were just doing- Then he started fucking you and they're like, whoa, blood pressure is spiking.

And I go, yeah, you think? Loose blood pressure. I've never had my temperature taken that way. I don't think I've gotten on the, like, I gotta go to some dope doctors, dude. I'm into going to doctors now. They hook you up with all these electrodes and blood pressure thing, and you run and they increase the speed and the incline.

And then he was like, all right, you're good to go. I'm in shape. So I was fine. But then he goes, he looked at you and was like, you're good to go. He pulled out and goes, he pulled out and goes, you're in shape. You need another four inches. But he goes, you want to go like 30 seconds, all out, fully inclined and just see what happens and I go, yeah, let's, let's, let's push it. And then he goes, Dr. Brozark's really pushing. So your blood pressure got dangerously high when you were pushing it.

And I was like, what do you mean? He was like, like, don't do it. And I was like, what? My boy's got to push it. If that's part of my personality, doc? Yeah. So I gotta like get on like beats and... Beats by Dre? And like flaxseed stuff.

Oh. And bring the blood pressure down so I can fucking push it. Whoa. And stop eating Shake Shack. Pizza, pizza. Yeah, I mean, is that just a thing that you just ignore and just say fuck it?

You could, yeah, you could. A little bit, like flax seed? I mean, that seems like. I'd rather die. Yeah, like you might as well just have a heart attack. Kill me now. I'd rather die. It's just like powder.

You just put it in your cereal or whatever. Oh, you put it in, well, what if you don't eat cereal? I mean, he did say he goes, do you want to get on blood pressure medicine? And I was like, I'm not really, I don't believe in medicine. Okay. Your boobs are huge. And so I do try and avoid taking like pharmaceuticals until I have to, you know what I mean? I'm not a big pill popper. So he told me to do that. Yeah, I get that. I've got a tackle box full of them But yeah, I get that. Yeah, that's not necessarily. Yeah, I also don't like pain meds I like to kind of feel the pain so that I know where my body is and you're sick how

You're sick. Yeah, I would love to see like I know I've seen every every inch of Ders's body, but I feel like Every inch of Durce's body, but I feel like Durce is the type of guy that seems so off. Every inch. I think I have actually. I think I actually have. Because I've actually walked in on Durce when he got out of the shower one time. When we were sharing a room somewhere on tour. Yeah, that door was just a jar for some reason, huh? No one ever shared any rooms on tour.

That is really weird. Not the last one. Not the last one. This was years ago, dude. How did I get your key? How'd I get your key? Years ago, dude. It spurred in my brain.

And I saw Ders's floppy cock. It was a hot, it was a hot floppy. And it just got out of the shower, the steam. Ders's heats up and starts flopping. Floppy disk. Yeah, it was a hot Ders is heats up and starts flop floppy disk. Yeah, it's a hot. It was a hot floppy. So and then at my bachelor party, fully naked in the in the Ozarks. Oh, yeah, that's true. I spread my asshole.

That is. And then I saw his asshole like he jumped naked right in front of me. I looked down. I was like, who's leaping past me? And I see this man's actual his butthole. Right. Very pink, weirdly pink. So I have seen his entire body. And, but what I was trying to loop back to is just seems like the kind of guy that would just have like a full body tattoo underneath just because he wants to feel the pain. You know, he's like the one of those people that are like, I have tattoo underneath the clothes. Like you mean like underneath clothes, like from the short sleeve up and it's just like,

and it's full like black. You've never seen it. You've never seen it. Yeah. Just black. And then, but he's just always just needs to tat himself to feel something. This is like Kevin from accounting who's totally normal. And then you go hang with him one night and he's like,

have you been to the dungeon? And you're like, let's say, well, I'm open, let's check it out. And he takes you there and it's just split tongue piercings. Wee, ooh. Oh yeah. By the way, shout out to the homie who pierced Isaac. He had a split tongue. You don't see that a lot in the wild.

Yeah. No. No, not in the circles I run in. I also don't run in those circles. Yeah, we're not kicking it with the cool enough people. That guy doesn't even run in circles. He's in figure eights. It's a whole other world. See any split tongues in your circles?

No, it's not that common. I'm not seeing, I thought it was kind of like, maybe it was, you know, did it ever have a renaissance? Was it ever like peaking? I was like, I was about to say maybe it's dying out, but I think maybe- I feel like a renaissance means means that like it had a moment before. Right.

I think it did. I feel like in the nineties, like that was the first time I saw it. And I'm like, oh, this is kind of, uh, absolutely terrifying because I'm 14 years old and yeah. And I'm watching Jenny Jones. I'm with you. I used to go, I think I was 15 or 16 and I would go to like punk rock shows. And there it was there. Jones. I'm with you. I used to go. I think I was 15 or 16 and I would go to like punk rock shows.

And there it was there. I saw at the Ranch Bowl in Omaha, Nebraska, was a very cool place. It was bowling alley. There was three concert venues and like four bars and sand volleyball, dude. Unreal. Who owned that place? What what kind of truck does the owner of that place drive? Oh, you know, I'm saying like lifted excursion, fully blacked out ground. A fact sure it was cool. Now, dude, they sold it.

It was like the coolest place because it was bowling alley. So like younger people could go there and be full. And then they had all ages shows and then all these bars had an arcade. It was the shit. And you would smoke so much weed in the parking lot and shotgun beers and then you'd go in there and then you see your first split tongue ever. So like it was an experience, you know. And then they probably sold it to a company. And then now it's a Walmart. Yeah. Now it's a Walmart. There you go. Hey, there you go. Oh, so there was probably more forked tongues at the Walmart now than they were back then. And Adam, real quick, real quick, because I'm, it doesn't even look wet anymore. I know. Why was

your hair wet? Why was your hair wet? Why was your hair wet? We gotta know. How's your blood pressure? Did you swim? Well dude, if you must know, did I do two workouts today because I'm fucking full-on jock mode now? Yeah. Okay. Fat Adam's fucking gone, dude. I'm leaning, bitch. Yeah, you look great. Thank you Fat Adams gone. He was here for a while. We all saw him. I don't know if we liked him or not I think he was cuddly looking I really liked him. He was cool. Yeah, when he had I don't know I don't know how much you liked him. Where are those jeans at now? I still wear those because I'm not gonna buy new jeans. So now I have the belt like fully cinched up

Yeah, you know, okay, so so so anyway, so I had two workouts today I don't wear those jeans because I'm not going to buy new jeans. So now I have the belt like fully cinched up. Yeah. There you go, buddy. OK. So anyway, so I had two workouts today. You know what I'm doing right now, dudes? Pilates. Yeah, I'm trying to get the Pilate body. OK.

Thank you, God. You did Pilates early? Pilates. Then I went right into a training session. I did chess because I wanted to be popping for the pot. Right. And then I went and I did a cold plunge and I plunged. So that, did that get my hair wet?

Yes, it did. And then I came home and I showered because the plunge was absolutely filthy. As I'm in it, I'm like, I'm going to get a staph infection inside of this cold plunge. Oh, cause this is a public plunge. It was a public plunge. Oh, what? Yeah. Is there no way of cleaning those things? I feel like the filter, the filter must have been a little backed up or something. It didn't seem like it was fully filtering in the proper way that it should be filtering. And so yeah, it looked a little foul. I still got in it for five minutes at 40 degrees. That's too cold. So that's what I did. And then I came home and I was too cold and I took a hot shower, which I think you're not supposed to do, but whatever. You

know how like your dick stays cold forever after a cold one? I'm listening. Hot, hot, hot, hot! When your dick feels like it's not even yours, like you put it. Yes, yes, yes. You put it in your hand and it just feels like you're holding like a cold cut. Like a little pulled out of a tiny baby carrot. Right. Yeah. Yeah. But you just got out of the fridge. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, that scares me. I know exactly. Yeah. When your dick gets so you squeeze the shit out of it to just get a little more blood in there

To heat her up. Oh, my dick is a she by the way Just so we're clear Absolutely, I'm gonna get so cold that it gets hard again. You know what I mean? It's firm I get so like so like it's like it turns into like a popsicle It gets so hard and tiny like it's the tiniest you can go sure and then it's hard. Yeah, it's like a marble But it's pissed off. It's pissed. Yeah. Yeah, I think I get that. It's not sexual hard it's not it's not like but it's there's some bends to it, but it's like a Like a hot dog, you know

Like a little a cold hot dog a cold hot dog like one something you might put in all sorts of food Yeah, yeah a little smoke. Yeah for sure a little smoky. We're back shredded on top of pizza. Um, yeah, I do know Let's talk about the cup Adam's got a yeah. What is this big old uh torpedo? You're drinking out of adam's drinking out of a fucking Space, okay, I love this thing dude. What the fuck is that? It's called Circle. Spell it. Wait but how do you spell it please?

C-I-R-K-U-L. C-I-R-K-U-L. Oh that's Cole as hell. Stefan or Cole. That's cool dude. The company just sent me one. I was like, what the fuck is this? It comes, well look at this shit dude.

So I've been drinking like, Mio. Maybe they heard about me talking about Mio on the podcast or something. Because I've been putting the Mio, which is like the electrolyte shit you could put in your water. And it makes it flavorful. And I enjoy that.

This, you buy this thing, and then they have these pods that you put in, different flavors, and then you're able to crank up on it the amount, the intensity of the flavor Yeah, dude, you thought you were drinking properly before. Yeah, now I'm actually drinking. Yeah I walk into you all the right now. Oh, dude I've had like eight of these today and this isn't a joke. Yeah, I've had eight and there's caffeine There's caffeine and no just this just this one. I just put. There's caffeine in one. It's not like an energy drink. It's a very small amount of caffeine.

Okay. But then they have other, the others are like electrolytes and they're all different flavors. And caffeine free. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like the little squirt thing, right? Right, the meals. Yeah, kind of, but it's doing its own thing and it's really cool. You're like, this is like your Beyonce's, I got hot sauce in my bag, you just carry those around to restaurants and fucking. Yeah, your circles, you just got a whole fucking bag of circles. Yeah, my little circles, you don't spray it in, it's a little cartridge, so you just need a little. Oh, so the circle, got it, yes. Yes.

The cartridge, does that last one full. The cartridge of diarrhea. Container or? Does that last one full container? No, it adds, it lasts for six 20 ounce containers. Okay, let's go. Whoa. Damn, dude. So, sorry, wait, you put one cartridge in and it's six 20 ounce rounds or whatever?

Oh, for flavor. Wow. Dude, bust a clip. Yeah, it's great, dude. It sounds great, Circle. I did a little deep dive. I'm sure they'll send you some. I did a little deep dive on them.

They're fucking crushing it, dude. It was a billion dollar company who started in like three years ago by these like bro football players. I'm like, why aren't we inventing something cool, guys? We're bros. Durs was an ex athlete. I was really good at hacky sack for a while. Blake, what's up, Blake? I love juice.

OK. And for that reason, I'm out. This is why we never did it. Yeah. All right. Do they have flavors like? I love juice. Do they have like root beer flavors? I knew it. I knew it. I don't know if they have root beer beer flavors? I knew it. I knew he was going to say root beer.

This fucking child. By the way, I bet they do. The Mio's got root beer. I want to say over a hundred something flavors. So they have a ton of flavor. They sent me like a whole care package. A hundred flavors. Oh, that's insane. I'm like plowing through it, dude.

I'm I'm gobbling up. So that's the circle that you're running. Oh, OK. And'm gobbling up. So that's the circle that you're running. Oh. Oh, okay. And they can have that. Here you go. Yes, points! Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Greetings, ghouls and girls, and welcome to Haunting, Purgatory's premiere podcast for all things afterlife. I'm your host, Tereza. Brrr. We'll be bringing you different ghost stories each week, straight from the person who experienced it firsthand.

Some will be unsettling. When she was with her imaginary friend, she would turn and look at you, and you felt like something else was looking at you, too. Some unnerving. The more I looked at it, I realized that the thumb looked more like a claw, like a demon. Some even downright terrifying. The things that I saw, heard, felt in that house were purely demonic.

But all of them will be totally true. them will be totally true. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you live and get your podcasts. From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery. Does this murder make me look gay? Master Vandy is dead! Then it's probable that whoever killed Vandy is in this very room. Lock her up. Lock her up. You killed your daddy. You don't get anything busy.

911, what's your emergency? I'm in the Monroe estate and I just caught a murderer. Yes, I'll hold. Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Douglas Sills, Cheyenne Jackson, Robyn Day Jesus, Frankie Grande, Sean Patrick Doyle, Brad Oscar, Nathan Lee Graham, Seth Rudetsky, Leah Delaria, Lea Salonga, and Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferri. I lick them, lick those toesies. Listen to Does This Murder Make Me Look Look Gay as part of the Outspoken Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

It's time for a brand new podcast. Do you love weird pop culture facts? Like, I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well, then you're going to love the podcast I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Steven and Lily. You've probably seen books at Barnes and Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I wonder what is inside of them. We've decided, because we are grown consenting adults, that we're gonna read a book every

single week. And here we are. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We discuss the inner workings of the minds of these authors at great detail. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic.

It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree, put your glasses on. And listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Can I say something that I've drank so much water today? I weighed myself this morning and I was 182 pounds. It's science. Yeah. Wait, what did you peak at before? What did

you take a peak at? You peaked at 205, right? I peaked at 205. Let's take a little peak. Yeah, it was just nice. You've lost 25 pounds. Yeah. Just about. Yeah. Wow, dude. Good for you. Yeah. Since the top of the year. Wow, dude. Good for you. Yeah. Since the top of the year. I love that. You're limiting your eating and you're back to exercise. Yeah, I'm not eating very much at all and I'm exercising pretty intensely.

But no real cardio, dude. Should we see who can get to 150 first? Dang. I bet Blake could. I bet Blake could get to 150 real easy. I don't know. I feel like I just came to the realization that I'm no longer a 32 pan. I'm a 33. It's official. Oh, welcome to the party, pal.

Beef Boy. Yeah, that's where I sit. I sit pretty tough. We're getting older. You know that that weight really clings to your body and it stays there. Well, we're saying out of the three of us, because you're the closest. Right. You're like a buck 65 or something I bet you could lose 10 pounds What are we weighing 15 15 pounds? I mean I think I'm at least up to 175 180 at this 180 are you you guys should maybe not 180 no probably not 180. I think that's that might be pushing it

Fended by the No, probably not 180. I think that's that might be pushing it. Okay. I'm offended by that. I drink a lot of water. I drink a lot of water. Very wet hair. Okay. So what I was talking about, I drank so many of these today. Yeah. In like a very short period of time. I got it this morning. I've just been fucking pounding. Oh, so it's brand new. It still has like the smell of the factory in your nose. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah. He's still getting plastic. I'm just, no, there's no plastic. Oh, you're getting microplastics? How many microplastics are in your nuts from the survey? We'll get there. But when you open up a package, do you guys think about the air that comes out of it, like that first breath, where you're like, oh.

Literally never. You don't, okay. That was the best part of getting like shoes from Payless. Like you would open that box. Yeah, that's just the shoe smell. Shoes smell great. All right, so Adam, you got it today. That's also a packaging.

What, that doesn't count? I've had eight. Whatever. No, I'm talking about when you open like a box that's been delivered from another country or something and you're like. Oh, ugh. And you're like, I'm breathing in weird air

that maybe it contains new COVID. Yeah. Boxes from other countries. I don't get boxes from other countries. eBay, baby. I'm on the hunt. I'm on the hunt for weird shoes. Blake, what are you talking about?

You don't buy shit online? Boxes don't come from America, okay? Boxes are exclusively from other countries. No, I know when you do get a package from like China, it has like the weird like cardboard that like disintegrates when you open it. That happens very rare, very rare when I get that package. What do I feel like?

Adam, tell us, tell us. Okay. Well anyways, so I weighed myself right before the podcast because I was feeling like, I was like, my God, I just drank so much water. I weigh 191 pounds right now. Nice dude, you're a water balloon. So that's more. Yeah, I gained nine so much water. I weigh 191 pounds right now. Nice dude. You're a water balloon. That's more.

Yeah, I gained nine pounds of water. I- Allegedly! Are you peeing? I'm so full. Is that a dangerous amount of retention? Like maybe- I'm so full right now.

Sounds like you're gonna bop, dude. Your eyes look a little full, like right here. You can drown. You know you can drown from drinking too much I'm so full dude, but I can't stop it's so fucking good the flavors Are you peeing constantly I haven't peed it's science and I think that's part of it I want to I wanted to but I just don't have to be I tried right before starting the podcast I was like I should pee. I'm a water balloon right now.

And I can't. I bet I could get you to pee. How? What? I have my ways. Can't finish. Wait, how, dude? I have my ways.

You just gotta get a big bear hug. Just squeeze this motherfucker until he starts to squirt. So Blake knows my ways. Yeah, it's the oldest trick in the book. Well, you guys aren't here. We're in different states. That's like we're doing potty training right now.

And I'm like, sometimes he's like, I can't go. I'm like, I just kind of like just squeeze. Like in Summer Heights High when he's like, not really. I don't really do it, but I just kind of go. Great show. When Summer Heights High when his dog is, it was in a car accident or something and then it's in a little wheelchair.

And he goes, so now I have to squeeze the poop out manually when the dog takes a poop and he's like squeezing the butt of the dog. The cause of diarrhea. This is Chris Lilly's show, right? Yeah, it's very, very, very, very, very funny. Yeah, oh my God. I gotta re-watch that one.

I feel like I fell off that one. What was his other show, his first show that really popped for us? Tonga? No. Well, the first first was called like Breakfast of Champions or We Are Champions, I think. The first one that was here was Summer Heights High

that they aired in. Oh, that one. Okay, that I did watch most of, if not all Summer Heights High. And then there was like Jonah from Tonga. And then he had a few, yeah. Which was okay. There was like a blackface character that was like. Yeah.

That was great. Look, he also put on Tongan makeup to do that. But he grew up around those people. When he did blackface and did like an African American character, it was like he'd never met a black person before. So it's a little different of like a. Yeah, he's like playing like a rapper.

It was like a caricature as opposed to like, I'm doing an impression of somebody I know very well or whatever. So it didn't connect as well. You're saying if you grew up with a ton of, like around a lot of African Americans, you can, you're cool and you could do blackface. Is that what you're saying?

Is that what you're going on record saying? Is that what you're going on record saying? I think that if there's a video out there of me... No, but I think... I think that if you're going to be doing a character that is not of your race, I would hope that you have a little bit more... A wealth of knowledge. A clipboard with signatures that said you could do it.

A realistic impression of somebody as opposed to a caricature of what you think they might be like, if that makes sense. Yeah, I get that. And that's just good, that's just a good comedy advice. If you're gonna play a hick cowboy, you don't wanna just be like, hey, do do do do.

You know, you wanna do an impression of someone that you know. Yeah. You know, when the impression rings true, if someone's like doing a voice or whatever, that it becomes like a hit character in their standup or whatever, they're usually doing like their aunt or they're doing their neighbor or some like a teacher they grew up with. Yes. Yes, Queen. Does that work? That's it.

Is that your teacher growing up was your teacher growing up. That was my neighbor. Yas Queen. Yeah, Alana Glazer. Cutting the grass, Yas Queen. That being said, he did it. He was funny. I mean, with like Tropic Thunder.

Yeah, that was. I don't know Robert Downey Jr.'s situation, but it felt like he was doing a guy, not like a... Dude, he gets no flack from that, and I love that. People just love Robert Downey Jr. situation. It felt like he was doing a guy, not like Dude, he gets no flack from that. And I love that. People just love Robert Downey Jr. But the whole thing with that was that it was like, it was an Australian doing a black guy.

So in a way it was like, he was doing a character He was an actor of an actor, but he knew actors who behaved that way and were stupid enough to do what he did. Yeah, that had a lot of layers to it. Metamad. I gotta re-watch that movie too. I bet that movie's pretty funny.

It's been a while. I wouldn't watch it if you still, if you don't like laughing, I wouldn't watch it. Okay, fair enough. Yes, points, points. Fair enough. Points. Fair enough. Yes, points! Last funny movie was?

Well, I've had a lot of movies come out, so... How? Last funny movie? I would say The Outlaws on Netflix. Yeah, must have been. That was it? Yeah, there you go. Must have been that one. It is a funny movie. I stand by it.

Adam is Shrek. Yeah. Home run. Yeah, Adam and Shrek is really good. What's been funnier than Adam and Shrek? Well, like ever? No, recently in a movie. I'm saying ever because I think Adam and Shrek

might be the pinnacle of comedy for me. How long have you been? Okay, all right, all right. Yeah. I'll buy it. Yeah, dude. I'll sip on some of that Kool-Aid. I'll buy it, I'll buy it.

Or some of that Circle. I was cracking up. I can't on some of that Kool-Aid or some of that Circle. I was cracking up. I can't even think of the last comedy that came out, so I'm not really sure. Dude, comedies no longer come out. It really sucks butts, dude. They just don't come out in theaters. It sucks butts. Adam, that's funny.

Did you just come up with that? That's funny. Sucks butts? Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, that might be an original hot take from me. Hey, even producers who, they're not even listening. Last funny movie, way in, we're gonna. Okay, throw it to the fans.

I mean, I guess The Bear, super funny. I wanna know what Isaac thinks the last funny movie, he's gonna be like, uh, Blazing Tunnels. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, what does Isaac think the last funny movie is? I want to know. Isaac, feel free. Any second.

Any second I hear Isaac. He's going to say your movie. Well, you told him that, but I was trying to catch him in a trap. Right. Outlaws, outlaws, of course. All right. Damn it. He says outlaws.

Of course, dude. Of course. Pong Rock, getting radical Ricky's the Nikki Todd says Ricky's the Nikki was funny according to Todd okay there we go yeah I like it I it didn't get a ton of love but when comedies just don't get a ton of love anymore no no comedies life isn't fun but I watched I thought it was pretty dang pretty dang funny Adam what are five things that are funny to you life isn't funny, what are five things that are funny to you? Life isn't funny, brother.

What are five things that are funny? Yeah, just we're off the top of your head. Just kids falling. Just general blackface is always. A character named General Blackface. Well, it's funny in a way that's where you're kind of like, ah, don't do that. Uh-oh.

Naughty. Cringe comedy. Like, uh-oh, that's naughty. Oh. Yeah, I think Naughty? Cringe comedy? Uh oh, that's naughty, duh. I think Naughty's over, right? I think that people. I'm way more into cringe comedy now. I'm super into cringe. I love a good cringe, dude.

Cringe comedy frickin' rocks, dude. I'm hyped on it. That's safe, Blake. That's not naughty, that's safe. I mean, is it safe? I mean, you're still laughing at someone, so that kind of feels sort of taboo. Well, you know what's cringe?

Blackface is pretty damn cringe, if you ask me. It's pretty cringe-worthy. Yeah, that's the most cringe. I'm cringed up. I'm fully cringed up. So that's your favorite thing? All right. Okay, I don't know if that's what I was saying.

I think that's exactly what you're saying. I think it is, yeah. I'm kind of saying the things we send each other in our TII DMs, like there's a lot of cringe comedy going on in there. If you guys had just, if you guys took one peek. If you had a window. Dude, everything I send to you guys, it's not cringe.

I'm like, I think it's kind of tight. Oh, really? It's just like a deformed Filipino kid playing dominoes or something. Oh sir, I don't like it. And then playing like Katy Perry, like singing Katy Perry out loud. Yeah, really talented.

Of course, I didn't say he wasn't. So to you, yeah. Yeah, he's really good. He sings really good. One. Yeah, he's the best. Who's the guy that I send you guys, I think his name is like Super Ray,

where he's always like watching like the dudes in India make food And he's like put wash my hands in the food wash my hands in the food I'm not doing the justice, but it's very funny I thought you did pretty good. I didn't think it was that good. Are you guys cracking your whole ass off? Well? No, I thought that's kind of sucked butt the way you said it delivered it Yeah, yeah you know who I'm watching a lot of is, and he's an absolute,

and I think we might have talked about this cause I won't shut up about it. Is that Elliot guy? The motivational speaker? Oh man. Are you guys, is he in your feed? Elliot, I'm not seeing. He's like the spectrum guy who's like,

we wake up, we go hard, we do this, I love everybody, Always stay grinding. He's kind of like that. He has a shaved head. He has a shirt that says Elliot. Everyone in his crew, his name's Elliot. Everyone in his crew also has a shirt that says Elliot. That sounds scary.

And I guess he is hired to go in to sales teams and scared them. I follow this guy. I sent this guy. Who was Elliot? Team Elliot? He scared them into being better at sales. What? So this is what I posted. It was like, this is Isaac telling me to get on social media. Remember? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've been, I've been watching him for a while. He's unbelievable. Well, he's a lunatic. I don't know how unbelievable he is, but he... Of course. So Blake doesn't know. Like I don't believe him. It doesn't seem like your algorithm is as aggressive as Ders and mine.

Yeah. No. Because then you will go to a guy that was a 10-year salesman and it was a car salesman. And he's like, how many cars did you sell this week? And the guy's like, three. And he goes, could you have sold 10? And he's like, I mean, maybe. Yeah, I guess. And he goes, OK, so why didn't you? And he's like, you know, I don't really know. Yeah, slow way in.

I went to lunch. And then he's like, if I kidnapped your wife and kids and held them hostage, would you be able to sell ten cars and he was like yeah are my kids okay the odds would get better yeah he goes yeah and he goes why aren't you doing that yeah he was like yeah I think I think so and then he's like why aren't you and you're like I mean if every time you do anything you have to think look my kids might be kidnapped if I don't do that. And before you slander this guy, I don't want him to block us because I've,

I've seen him post things where he goes, you know what people bag on me and my little shorts. Guess what? I block them. Oh, don't get me blocked. This is my favorite. We don't want, we don't want that. We don't want that. I love watching. I completely disagree with his school of thought. If you kidnapped my children and my wife and you're like, sell cars better, I probably won't be able to focus on selling you a car. I'm probably like, I hope my kids are okay. Blake, that's kind of on you then. You didn't save your family. Yeah. He's saying if you had to sell

10 cars and get your family back, do you think you could do it? The guy goes, yes. And he goes, that's the mentality you need. Yeah. But Blake is saying that he would crumble under the pressure and he couldn't handle. I think I would be like, I can't even like begin to tell you that these automatic windows are like, oh, like. This is actually this is a great sketch where it's like, OK, why don't you try and sell these guys as if I've kidnapped your family? You're just crying and you're like, I don't know the power windows. Dude, I like that when Blake goes to sell a car, he immediately goes to the power windows. Yeah. What kind of car salesman are you?

Yessir. Yeah. You only sell cars from 1993. You got to start there, brother. Those manual windows. He's like, if somebody's fat, he goes, if someone's there, brother. Those manual windows. He's like, if somebody is fat, he goes, if someone's fat, I don't respect them. They just they're telling me that

they're fat so they can't get it done. They can't take care of themselves. I'm like, there's so many examples of fat people that are doing pretty damn good. Really, really good. If I had a gun to your wife's head and I stole your children from you,

would you not eat tonight? Right. Yeah. Yeah, so then, and then he does a horrific thing. He's like Ben Stiller's character in Heavyweights when he takes over the fat camp. Exactly. Oh yeah, the best. That's the last funny movie.

And he's like, I mean, Heavyweights was fantastic, but he's a total lunatic. He makes these grown men take their shirt off, like these fat guys take their shirt. He's like, take it off. Take your shirt off right now. Finish him. Look, do you like the way your body looks naked? He's like, you like how your body looks naked? And then, of course, this is in front of other people.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a roomful of people, dude. Like an arena. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm like, this is the movie that I need to do next. Right. I want to play Ellie. Shaming? Just shaming people? Just be an absolute monster. This was my favorite one. He goes, can you imagine your kids looking to...

Leave my kids out of it. No, no, listen. He goes, can you imagine your kids looking up to another man besides you? Not on my watch.'s not happening and I'm like what what do I care? Dude, like yeah the more the more the merrier like bring it on. Yeah, you can look up to LeBron James He works really hard. He's the best at what he does like that's okay. Not on Elliot's watch Not on Elliot's watch Blake stop turn off the TV. Not on Elliot's watch. That's crazy. Can you imagine him walking,

rolling up on you to sell you a car? That's alpha. I'd be like, this dude's in the gym. This dude's in the gym way too much. He thinks you take him more seriously cause he's jacked. His clothes are so tight, like painted. All this being said, I don't want a block. Yeah, I know you guys, you guys like him.

I'm kind of- Every 12th post I'm like, yeah, I like that. That's good. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, by the way, Blake, I don't know if I like him. Okay. I like watching the insanity that is that. Yeah. I also don't like, my algorithm is also just kids beating up their teachers and throwing computers at them and shit.

Yeah. You had mentioned... I don't like throwing computers at them and shit. You had mentioned. I don't like that the kids are doing that. You had mentioned that you get a lot of kids beating up their teachers on your algorithm. Which is crazy. I don't like that the children are doing that. But do I like to watch and see a little scuffle in geometry class? I sure do.

It's great. Well, at least Instagram at least is like safe. Yeah, Instagram's better when you go on X. X.com. X gon' give it to ya. Greetings, ghouls and girls, and welcome to Haunting, Purgatory's premiere podcast for all things afterlife. I'm your host, Tereza. We'll be bringing you different ghost stories each week, straight from the person who experienced it firsthand.

Some will be unsettling. When she was with her imaginary friend, she would turn and look at you and you felt like something else was looking at you too. Some unnerving. The more I looked at it, I realized that the thumb looked more like a claw, like a demon. Some even downright terrifying.

The things that I saw, heard, felt in that house were purely demonic. But all of them will be totally true. But all of them will be totally true. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you live and get your podcasts. From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White, and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery. Does this murder make me look gay? Master Vandy is dead! Then it's probable that whoever killed Vandy

is in this very room. Lock her up. Lock her up. You killed your daddy. You don't get anything busy. 911, what's your emergency? I'm in the Monroe estate, and I just caught a murderer. Yes, I'll hold. Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Douglas Sills, I'm in the Monroe Estate and I just caught a murderer. Yes, I'll hold.

Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Douglas Sills, Cheyenne Jackson, Robyn Day Jesus, Frankie Grande, Sean Patrick Doyle, Brad Oscar, Nathan Lee Graham, Seth Rudetsky, Leah Delaria, Lea Salonga, and Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferri. Lick em, lick those toesies. Yeah, ah, what? Listen to Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay as part of the Outspoken Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

It's time for a brand new podcast. Do you love weird pop culture facts? Like, I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well, then you're going to love the podcast I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Steven and Lily. You've probably seen books at Barnes and Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I wonder what is inside of them. We've decided because we are grown consenting adults that we're going to read a book every

single week. And here we are. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We discuss the inner workings of the minds of these authors at great detail. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic. It's basically literary criticism.

So get your degree, put your glasses on. And listen to Slavery Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If x.com is your first visit of the morning, you could genuinely wake up to watching someone die. Oh yeah. Just you become a school shooter.

Yeah. I clicked on a link that somebody had sent me like watch whatever. And then I went and checked out. Yeah, exactly. And then that was fine. But then I just went to the page and then you immediately went to a gun store and just bought an AR-15. Almost. But I clicked on, I click on like the feed and I'm like, what's X been up to?

The first thing I watch is a pack of pit bulls eating some guy and then getting all shot by a cop. And then you're watching these dogs do like the most animal like, like twitching. Terrible. And then I I go I scroll past that because I'm like this is good good morning you don't even you don't you haven't even had your coffee yet yes I would started your day I go whoa whoa scrolls the next thing and then it's like a fight I go holy shit I

scrolled anything I'm on there for 10 minutes. My entire brain chemistry has been fucking skullfucked. You have PTSD. I'm living in a nightmare. Did it change when Elon took over and he was like, X is going to give it to you. We're going to do all the crazy shit. We're going to have the algorithm cranked up to 10, dude. It's going to be cranked up to 10. But they got 10 minutes from me. It works.

Yeah, I know. I fall down those rabbit holes too. Like, and my, the algorithm thinks- Rabbit holes, the whole, the rabbit with all those holes in it? Yeah, yeah. I'm the- No, points! Like the most right wing, like, militia guy possible.

Oh, cause everything is just like the craziest conspiracy theory you've ever heard. It's science. Just absolute lunacy. That's what the algorithm thinks of me. And by the way, I mean, I do get a kick out of it sometimes. It's everybody. It's how they hook you, because you're either watching it,

because you're like Kyle, and you're like, yeah, this makes sense. Or you're somebody're either watching it because you're like Kyle and you're like, yeah, that's somebody who's watching it to be like, what is this train wreck of like society? Wrong thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think my hair is almost dry. Almost dry. It's dry. Yeah. It's almost dry. Dang. My shit. But I'm dry already. I don't know. Does that mean I got to use more conditioner? How do I get my hair? I think the goal for all men is

Keeping their hair wet for as long as possible. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean run that by Elliot. Let's see what he thinks I look like I'm about to enter the Survivor series over here brother. Do you have wet hair? If your hair's not wet, you're a bitch. I'm gonna take your kids and fucking shoot them I'm gonna fuck your wife in front of you if your hair's not wet. You promise? What was the last x.com thing I saw was some chick who got her leg shredded by a shark, dude. x.com. What is going on?

It was gnarly. Well, this is, you know, we're in shark week zone. I think it was this week or last week. Oh, is it? John Cena is doing it, yeah. I couldn't dislike that more. I mean, John Cena doing Shark Week. He's a bagel.

You needed the three of us back there again. It should only be us doing Shark Week every year. I agree. That'd be cool. We are the face of Shark Week. Is he Ricky Stinecky? He's Ricky Stinecky, yeah. Todd, you like that for Shark Week?

Better in the movie. I'm saying that I want to do this, but in fact, I think it would be really scary. But have you seen those sharks that live in, like, Greenland where they say they, like, live till they're, like, 300? Yes. They're hella old, like, zombie sharks. What are they called?

I think they're called... Is it zombie sharks? Or, like zombie sharks. What are they called? That's tight. I think they're called, Is it zombie sharks? Or like green sharks or, I don't, I, Yeah, you might be right. Yeah, maybe, yeah, maybe it's called green sharks. Or Greenland sharks or, I don't know. I know what you're talking about.

And they just, Greenland shark. Yeah, I think that, But with a J? S-J-A-R-K or did you misspell, Todd? That might, Shark, okay. Wow.

I thought it was like Greenland, so they say things with J's and shit. That's actually kind of sick. Shark? Greenland shark. Shark. Shark. Shark. Greenland shark.

It's a Greenland shark. Yeah, they're hella scary though. They look like they're blind and they're just floating around like shark ghosts. It's kind of crazy. They don't even wag the tail. They just are like cruise control. Like when an old person gets super old

and you just see them. Yeah, our president. Go ahead. Yeah, our president. Well, I mean, I feel like it's super topical right now, actually. I don't want to say. But you know how you just look in

and they're just like, they're over it. They just want to go up to heaven. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, you know, it's great. My dad was like the last time I did. I didn't mean to make this about your father. I really about my father. Great movie. No, but this was a funny thing to last. The last thing my dad said, no, last time he traveled, which was the last time he could travel, he was getting like padded down, like going through the thing, like in a wheelchair.

And they're like, uh, how old? Hey, like making small talk to like, Oh, how old are you, sir? And he's just like, I don't know. Can I just go through here? I'm just trying to get on this airplane. I'm just trying to get on the fucking airplane. Beats me. I'm not even trying to remember dude. Stop. Imagine being a 300 year old shark. You're like fucking kill me dude. Like you're like looking for boats to get caught up in the motor.

Because literally nothing wants to eat you because your meat tastes like fucking rancid old dog food. And also nothing's going to eat you. You're a giant shark. Nothing's gonna eat you. This is that OG Scandinavian mentality where like when you got old and ill you walked into the woods and Let yourself be eaten so you didn't like slow down the tribe or you would jump off a cliff What? Oh my yeah, you guys saw Midsommar, right? Like that's based on real shit from back in the day. Oh, I was too scared.

I was too scared to watch that. I actually auditioned for that movie. Frickin' see ya. To be that one guy who gets butt naked and shit? I don't, I didn't, I can't remember exactly what I auditioned for. You would know. There's a butt naked guy in it?

Oh, I'll watch it today. Yeah, I don't think so. Oh, I gotta see it. I don't think I was getting butt naked in the audition. for. You would know. Wait, there's a butt naked guy in it? Oh, I'll watch it today. Yeah, I don't think so. Oh, I gotta see it. I don't think I was getting butt naked in the audition. I only read the sides. Adam's like, so for the audition, am I getting butt naked? Yeah, they don't do that for the audition.

They don't need to see you pretty. Notice me, senpai, notice me. Pantomime unbuttoning your shirt. Adam, that's not that kind of movie. It's all right, brother. But I can only imagine there's one guy you would be, and it's like the main guy. Okay.

The main office prankster. And that guy was okay. That's what I believe I... I haven't seen him in other stuff. Maybe he's British and he's on like the biggest British show ever over there. Yeah. He's like a more cut Seth Rogen kind of dude.

Oh, damn. Well, dude, that's kind of exactly what I am. Yeah. That's kind of, Wow. winning. That actually really sucks for me. Sucks for me, I didn't get that one.

I would watch it, it's an interesting movie. Yeah, I love it. I heard it's great, but it is, but my wife hates scary movies, like hates them. It's not scary. What doesn't she like when they're on in the house? It's not scary. Like I'll be downstairs watching something a little scary.

And she's like, oh, what are you doing? Why do I hear eerie string? So I have not watched it. You know, it's scary. The state of the union or debate. No, but it's not a scary movie as much as it is a what the fuck is going on type movie like a psychological thriller, I guess. I don't know. You know, what I liked was the menu. I thought the menu was a cool movie Okay, did you see the menu? You know I watched that on the plane it like had a cute hook to it. It didn't land for me. It was cute

I don't know if cute is the right word for that movie. I thought it was pretty bad except for the two main actors were fantastic Everyone else who was cast seemed like the worst caricatures. I was like, oh those guys are bankers huh? Are they gonna say the most banker stuff possible? Well the fact that we weren't cast as the three bankers. Yeah I'm pretty pissed. I'm a little butthurt. Anybody's been doing like this? Oh, what is it? Dude, look in here. Oh shit, it looks just like a- Oh, this food tastes so bad. See, now you're gonna have to go on YouTube to see what that was. I'm playing, it's pretty good.

We're putting our hands together, doing the cross thing. Yeah, the butthole thing. Yeah, is it a butthole? That's not, I always thought it was a vagina. I always thought it was a vagina, but. Who's the main guy? I always thought it was a vagina, but.

Yeah, wait, you thought it was a butthole, Trevor? This is not a butthole, brother. Nicholas Holt is the main guy. This is a butthole, yeah, Nick Holt, I can watch butthole? This is not a butthole, brother. Nicholas Holt is the main guy. Nick Holt, I can watch him do anything. It's not a butthole, Ders. It's a vagina. No, no, no, no. No, no, no.

It's very much a vagina, yeah. When you put your hands together, one's going vertical, the other guy's going horizontal, and you split it apart, it is a vagina. Yeah, very much so. Adam, close your eyes. Okay. I'm doing it. Go back to your bachelor party. Adam, close your eyes. Okay. I'm doing it.

Go back to your bachelor party. We're on the dock. To your bubble. We're on the dock. You're having fun, you're looking around. You see somebody run and jump in front of you. The cheeks are spread. Yeah, they were.

And what does that look like? It looks like the fingers. Satan! Well, you're right, because it was the pinkest butthole I've ever seen. I mean, it looks like well you're right because it was the pinkest but whole I've ever I mean it looks like you believe it looks like you do not shit out of your butthole it's pretty wild it's pretty obvious and I know you do you have to can I can I tell you something later off the pop yeah sure okay just save me a couple minutes okay I can watch Nicholas Holt spread his cheeks at a bachelor party any day of the week.

Have you seen the trailer for the movie Long Legs? That's like a new horror movie coming out. That looks kind of scary to me. I don't watch trailers for movies I want to see. Oh my God. That got me like, oh my God, that looks like legit terrifying. Oh my God. It's like a serial killer thriller. Oh my God, that looks like legit terrifying. Oh my God. It's like a serial killer.

Yeah. Oh my God, dude. That sounds so scary. Dude, I'm so sick of horror movies. Yeah. The only movies that come out now that aren't superhero movies. It's just scary movies. Yeah. Superhero or fucked up like, yeah, or just absolutely fucked up torture porn It's called like grandma ghost and it's just some fucking old lady crawling on the ceiling like how many more old ladies? Can crawl like a crab on the ceiling? Yeah, they said lab or crab. It's science

You say crab. Okay good. Uh, yeah, I feel like that is a real trope now where Old ladies are just crawling on walls and shit. Well, because old ladies are really scary. Are they? I can beat the shit out of an old lady. Old ladies do not scare me. No, you can't.

You can hit them and beat them, but they keep coming back. They're unstoppable. Well, you can. You can? That's the movie. Adam and I just start beating up all these old ladies because we think it's a horror movie. Dude, check out x.com. The workaholic bros are beating the shit out of all the ladies. Thank you, Elon. I like that you go x.com too. You put

the dot com as if you go on your computer and go to Twitter a lot. You don't just look at it on your phone like a regular person. Dude, it's X.com. Yeah. If you don't, if you just say X, that just doesn't sound right to me. Sorry. Why do I hate it? I wish it was just Twitter. Like, cause X it sounds like a little pornographic and the way they, they, the algorithm works, it is so they nailed, they nailed it. It's basically porno. Yeah. It's just like torture porn or kids beating up their teacher porn Did they think X sounded cool or what is X like? Why is it X cuz it like it used to be Twitter like it's X Well, I think it's SpaceX. So he was like I'm gonna throw the X in there, right? So and I'm not model X. So he's just got one. He's got one. He just loves

X man. Oh, that was the eggs. What a lame. I would be cooler. What would you guys name Twitter? G G just g.com I would just keep it Twitter. Remember the Twitter jokes in the beginning that were like I twatted Posted a TWA. How do what do you say post tweet? Posted a TWA, what do you say, post tweet? I don't know. Like that was a good month or six weeks of A. Yes, points! It's 12 Twitter.

We got a lot, lot of mileage out of that one. It's still good. Do we have any take backs, any apologies, any epic slams? Oh my God. Let's see, let me just go back. Black box. Do we stand? TWA-ted. God. Let's see, let me just go back. Do we squatted? Yeah, squatted. Oh, you know what I

do? Go ahead. I have a correction from last week. Oh, okay. Fire it off. The steeplechase. I said it was an 8,000 because literally that day someone goes, yeah, steeplechase is a 8,000 and it's a 3,000. And I feel like a fucking idiot. And I apologize. You're not, dude.

I guess, repeat, I do not remember Steeplechase. What is that? We were talking about the Olympics and it was like the race where they jump into the water, whatever. And I go, it's 8,000 run guys, meters. I was dead wrong. Hit that button again for me, Blake. I just want to be fully transparent about this sort of stuff, guys. I know. It means a lot to you and it's a special time of year for you. It is. I remember Steve

would take me to circle water bottles for you. It's like, it just means something. Right. Knuckin' grandma! Yeah. I just crushed this. Adam, would you take back one of the huge drinks you had today or are you standing by that? Are you going to keep doing that? I'm staying by them.

I feel like it's for whatever, I still don't have to pee. I don't know what's happening to me, but. Are you sitting on your dick? No, but it's squashed in between my thighs. Yeah. Is it like a hose where there's a big kink in it? Yeah, just there's there's Sitting on his dick and doesn't realize it's like expanding like a cartoon bubble Spraying a leak I like that. I would like to apologize for last week when I was kind of shitting on the Olympics and I came around to it. I was talking to Chloe and I was like, oh, yeah, the Olympics. I was just kind of dunking on it.

She's like, I thought you loved the Olympics. And I'm like, yeah, I think maybe I just wanted to be a little bit of a contrarian, I think. So that's the word. That's the word of the week then. Loose but whole. Oh man. That's crazy. I forgot about doing it. That's just a word that I have.

Damn it. Okay, yeah. Good for you. Good for you. I feel a little bit of a contrarian. And you know, sometimes we need that. Sometimes we need the naysayer. Yeah.

Yeah, it keeps the conversation going. It's nice to hear the other side of the coin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's not me, babe. It's not me. You love the Olympics? I do like the Olympics. I won't say I'm as invested as Ders,

a person who truly loves, but I do get a kick out of turning on and watching all the weird sports. And watching whatever. I mean, dude, it's so crazy. kick out of turning on and watching and watching all the weird sports watching whatever I mean yeah oh dude break dancing is in the Olympics dude we have to have a freaking watch party dude is it really yeah I swear no I can made break dancing shoes what yeah yes break are you being for real hey I take I take back my take back fuck the Olympics oh. They're just trying to make it relevant. So they got a dance form from 1987.

From 1980. Yeah. What? The Jabberwockies are going to take it, dude. I can't wait. I mean, that's hilarious. All right. Okay. Yeah. Let's go Olympics. Imagine you get gold for break dancing. That's going to be a thing that like no one will really

know it's in the Olympics. So it's going to be like, you're wearing your gold medal. You're at the bar. You're like, actually I won gold for break dancing. And they're like, okay, by the way, here's what happens. You rob someone. How did you get this? You got like, you're at a bar, you're wearing the medal. You tell someone you won break dancing, and then they're like, oh yeah? And then they just dance better.

No, they dance better than you. That's the movie. I feel like that's the kind of thing where you could run into a drunken person who's like, oh yeah, can you do this? And they're like fucking crushing it. They're like contortionist. And everyone circles around them cheering.

And then you're like forced to dance. So then you get up and everyone's like, that's a little too much. Like this guy's having fun. You're trying to like prove you're a gold medalist. Yeah. You're doing, yeah, you're doing a little too much. And this guy's kind of flowing.

I mean. They pick the other guy up and they buy him drinks and you go back to the pool. I mean, break dance studio. Yeah. I would say if you guys won a gold medal, would you wear it a lot? Yeah. That first, that first like maybe what month?

Would you wear it almost every day that first month? Yeah, that's gotta happen. You gotta wear it out. What about six months? Would you continue to wear the gold medal? You get special underwear made where it slides right in front of your cock. Oh wow.

There you go. Yeah, just kinda hang it, right in front of your cock. Oh, wow. There you go. Yeah, it's kind of hanging, dangling. Preventative measure, but also like, you know, it's there. Yeah. I mean, I definitely say like you wear it around your house at all times, but to like actually wear it out, maybe just like events. I would take it's the opposite. I think around the house, your wife knows you won the gold medal. You don't need to. I mean, you wear it sometimes when you're when you're having sex with her,

obviously. Right. She's like, can you just take it's swing? It's hitting my face. Yeah, just it's just hitting. Ow. OK, that actually kind of. Oh, maybe if you did doggy like I freaking told you to. Is that what that would have been like? Yeah. Is that what would happen? All I know is that Elliott has her and my children.

I can't think straight, okay? I can't think straight. Blake, do you have a, do you have anything? I take back everything I said about Elliot because I have a feeling that if this gets to him, he's gonna send somebody for my family and I don't want that to happen. Yeah.

No, no, he would just be like, you're not in my life. I don't need you. We don't. I love the haters. I blocked the haters and you're like, I'm not hating. We want to continue watching. I don't want to get blocked by you, dude. You're, you're one of my top follows. I look forward to seeing you embarrass people. I don't follow. Oh, I follow. I don't follow, but I get my, my fee is so my algorithm knows that I'd want to see. Right. I don't follow, but I get, my feed is so, my algorithm knows that I'd want to see it. Right. You want to see it?

Dude, my friend, my buddy was visiting, I guess I'll talk next week about it, but my buddy was just visiting. Gotcha, bitch! And I showed him my algorithm, like my Instagram feed with the Explorer page, and he was like, You must be close. He was like, what the fuck, dude?

He's like, this is actually really scary and weird. And I'm like, uh-huh. Yes it is It's just guys you were like just drink your drink not even scary. It's just I seem really really really really gay What did you like I seem like I'm just trying to fuck to that scared? 100% of the time. I took back this scary Because it's just got the guys working out shirtless showing you workout tips They're and then the Montana boys because I find them hilarious okay those are the swooshy hair boys yeah there's who's here there's and there's a lot of different

guys that are kind of doing the same thing where they're like be singing a song and the walk up to camera I get such a kick out of it is that what we do for the live show we just I mean whatever the next live show is we just plug in our feed and go through our discoveries our search Yeah, yeah, let me check on my Course you got six months to undo it. Of course. It's like I get my obviously like big tit big natural tits Like it's for sure. It's like you guys keep saying sort of almost pornographic. They're like, I don't look at stuff like that But you're like mine I don't look at stuff like that, but you're like, what is this?

Disney, I don't know, here's the guy I was talking about. Super Ray 14K, that dude's funny as hell. I don't know him, I don't know him, I'm gonna have to check him out. All right, and now we know, and that was another episode of This Is Important. My hair's still wet, dog. It's damn wet.

Honestly, so jealous. So jealous, dude. Damn. Hello and welcome to Haunting, Purgatory's premiere podcast. I'm your host, Teresa. We'll be bringing you different ghost stories each week, straight from the person who experienced it firsthand. Some will be unsettling, some unnerving,

some even downright terrifying, but all of them will be totally true. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. From iHeart Podcasts comes Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? 911, what's your emergency? Mastavante is dead! Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Frankie Grande, Cheyenne Jackson, Robin de Jesus, and Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferries.

Lick em, lick those toesies. Listen to Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? as part of the Outspoken Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals.

You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is a production of iHeart.