This Is Important - Ep 21: Tales From The Workaholics House

Episode Date: January 12, 2021

Today, this is what’s important:Adam almost dying, what's going on in Primm, Nevada, The Bunny Ranch, the infamous pizza in the butt and voicemail story, paint balling, behind the scenes of Workaholics, and more. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about

what's obviously the most important shit in the whole freaking universe. Today, we talk about touring dildo factories, or just, like, hairy men fetish it. We're looking at the autopsy. He died way before that. I remember the Pegasus so well. Roll on this. I'm gonna barf. Here we go. Start your engines. And we're down. Let's go. So Chloe's been gone for a few days. She's, you know, visiting her family, and I'm left to my own devices. Nice. We know what that means. We know what that means. Your iPad and your iPhone,

all the devices. Dude, I almost died the other night. What happened? What happened this time? Oh, God. Let's unpack this. I don't know when I turned it on. It must have been, like, the day that she left the stove. Oh, boy. And I had it on for, like, legit almost three days. Like, two and a half days. Like, the burner, or, like, the oven. The gas. Like, it was all the way to the summer so you couldn't even see the flame. Yep. So it was just on. And I have, it's cold. So I have all the windows shut and my heater's being weird. So I'm just kind of running my fireplace. So I'm running the fireplace. Have the gas going. And then I turned the fireplace off because I'm smelling, like, rotten eggs. Good job. I'm like, who farted? And the cause of diarrhea. And it was like,

several days of me going, like, something stinks. I'm, like, taking showers, going, like, do I stink like shit? No. Am I, like, just putrid smelling? Did I fart? Did I seep? Yeah. Am I seepin? Am I seepin? Oh, man, seep. Yeah. And I'm, like, looking through, like, I check underneath the cushions on the couch and everything, thinking, like, did I? Because, uh, also, I've been a kind of a mess this weekend. I also puked this weekend and my eye exploded. Yeah, you look insane. I look insane. This what happens when the chick leaves. Why did you pee? I drank too much. Did I do that? Solo? No, I had some people over, there's a boat parade down here. So like, I had some people over, we all sat outside, we drank, everybody left. And then my one buddy, Jeff, was like, yo, I'll sit around and drink

with you for, you guys know him as Tater Salad. He's a big fan of the podcast. So, so he'll, here it is. Pull it up, Tater Salad. Shout out. So Tater Salad was, was kicking it. And he was like, yo, I'll drink with you for a few hours. And so then I just ended up pounding, like, eight Ashlands, just like, and we know that three gets you drunk. Yeah. Three likes my ass up. So, uh, can you shotgun fucking Ashlands? You could shotgun anything if you put your mind to it. Yeah. Fuck yeah, bro. That's true. Yeah. That's the only way Kyle's gonna come back to drinking. Fuck yeah, bro. That shit is tight. Anyways, you were saying, give me a hell yeah. And I was like, uh, you know, I was too, it wasn't that I puked. It was, I was too full to go to

sleep. You know that feeling when you're like, when you're drunk and you're just like, I'm gonna explode. I have too much liquid within me. And so I, I made myself cute. And then the next day I wake up and my eye is insane looking like it popped a blood vessel just because I was yacking so hard. Oh, you think that's what it was? Yeah, I do. Because it was the next day that it was like this. I've been playing that it's my fitness, but I know it's, I just didn't want to tell the internet that it was, you know, just I'm just puking by myself. Dude, tell the internet. You were gagging so hard and popped a blood vessel in your eye. I love that shit. The tongue is like all the way out. Oh, so then the next day I wake up and my whole house reeks of, of like rotten eggs and my

head pukes somewhere for like a full day and a half. I'm going like, I must have puked. I'm like some puke got somewhere that I don't know or got on my clothes and I bought it somewhere. So I'm checking every inch of my house until I realized like I go to like microwave something and I'm like in close to the stove and it's like hot to the touch. And I'm like, why is it so hot? And then I realized I've had the gas on for like two and a half days. You should have died. Dude, leaking out. And I'm smoking weed inside the clothes. Go in the house. My boy. I'm like, I'm having a good time. I'm the light in the fireplace. I'm letting the fireplace. I'm like personifying the gas for every time you're like lighting a joint and like it gets near you and

then you put it out real quick because you got to go and it's like, oh, we could have just exploded You know what? I think what saves me is I always smoke even when Chloe's gone. What saves you is Chloe. Chloe is your angel, brother. You can't be alone. When Chloe's gone, I don't love the smell of stale weed smoke in my house. So I always have a door open and I'm in at least near the door. When Chloe's here, I'm outside. But when Chloe's not here, I'm at least door open and I'm standing by the door. You had the fire on. You definitely had the fire on inside. I definitely had the fire on. Which is fire. Dude. Which is straight up fire. I don't know how I did it. Your house could have

exploded. I know, dude. It was some final destination share. Exactly. There's like 20 different ways I would think you were going to die, Adam, but I didn't know you were going to be like the homie who just falls asleep with a cigarette in his hand and lights his house on fire. That is wild. Well, it wouldn't have been cigarette. Can you imagine the autopsy? Give it 20 years. If you fell asleep, vomited, choked on your vomit and died, and then your house exploded. They'd be like, he obviously died from the explosion. And then somebody's like, wait a minute. Actually, he was super drunk off of three We're looking at the autopsy. He died way before that. It wasn't the Ashton's fault too. I also

was mixing. Was it a suicide? There's always a point in the night when it turns where it's like you no longer taste alcohol. Because your tongue just gets worked over. You lost your sense of taste, bro. That's COVID. I can't smell or taste anything. And I'm running a fever. What's happening? Anyway, see at the airport. And I was mixing vodka in the Ashton, and that's what sent you over. And I had about six of those right before going to sleep. Well, yeah, so it wasn't that you were full. It's that you just put a bunch of vodka in your body and needed to puke it out. That is correct. And also the amount of liquid. You were full of poison. I was fully extended. Because I don't know,

you guys haven't seen my midsection right now, but it's tight. I feel like we've seen it online. I feel like you're posting it. No, I'm never showing the torso. I'm always probably not that tight. There's a lot of peck shots. I'll be honest. It's tight for me. It's tight for me. Normally, it's pretty flabby, but it's pretty tight for me. I do think you took six shots of vodka very quickly and then put poison in your body and your body's like, no, no. No, but I made myself puke. You're smart. I know that I got to get it out if I'm going to go to bed. Well, you're a control freak and you weren't going to let your body take control of you. You said, I got this. I'm going to beat it to it. Yeah, I'm showing them who's

boss. Still going to send it. I'm an out of control control freak. I'm still going to send it out of control control freak. I like that. Yeah, man. Previously, we would talk about like how many lives you think you have left. That's two. Yeah, you skipped two there, bud. Oh, I skipped two. Just from puking from being drunk. That's a life that you're taking away. People die that way. I know, but I mean, within the fire thing, the fire thing is absolutely one. By the way, I'm not arguing that the times I puked in my sleep that I couldn't have died. I didn't puke in my sleep. There's no puking in my sleep. I was fully awake when I puked. Well, yeah, that's because if you would have passed out, you wouldn't have puked in your

sleep. That was good on you. So you actually avoided a near-death experience by puking. It is one, though, for the house exploding. Yeah. It was my angel Chloe whispering to me. Did you guys know this? That gas doesn't smell. They add methane to it. So you do smell it. I didn't know that. I did not know that. That's very smart. That night that I actually figured it out, I was on a lot of edibles. So it was the next night where I'm like, you know what? I'm going to not drink tonight. Last night kind of went, but I am going to eat a lot of edibles. So now I'm freaking out, just smelling my house, smelling any things and looking up like natural gases and farts.

What a Google farts right before you die. Yeah. Fart smells. So no, I actually learned that. I didn't know because I was like, I thought it was burnt toast. And also I'm putting my carbon monoxide detector. I'm like putting it. You're holding it around like a cell phone trying to get bars. Like a ghostbuster. I was walking in around the house trying to pick up a gas leak. That's so tight. By the way, taking it off the wall like turned it off. Yeah. I know how to do this. It wouldn't. It wouldn't. No, it's a joke. I was teasing. You were a ha hain. I know the battery operated one just in case doomsday hits. I want to be able to detect shit and just hold it and detect it. Zombies and shit. Yeah. If there's like an earthquake or

whatever, I need to know. I want to put that shit on my fucking body. But my eye does look absolutely insane. Here, check that out. Check that shit out. You're killing it. Happy New Year. You're bringing in the New Year with us. Oh, bro. That's definitely a popped vessel. Look at that. Is Dennis Quaid in your eye? Are you sure it's not an interspace situation? Whoa. Great movie. Oh, dang. I hope that there's something cool happening there. I'm not positive. I don't know. Is this a backdoor podcast to movie that's happening right now? Are we setting the table? This is my sideways pitch where it's like, oh, yeah, it's my eye. It must have been from when I got really drunk last night. Flash Dennis Quaid. Why don't we do our version of interspace? We would

kill it. That movie would be funny as fuck. Yeah, I agree. That'd be dope. Cool ass sets. I call Dennis Quaid. Let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. I'm in universal or whoever. WB. Yeah. Orion. Orion. What was your guy's favorite movie title card from back in the day? Like Touchstone, Orion, TriStar Pictures. TriStar was sick, dude. What's that one? With the Pegasus that came out right before. What was it? Like Labyrinth or something? Let's see. Rambo First Blood Part II. The only one that comes to mind. Who was the one at the beginning Ninja Turtles that like blue and black? That's New Line. Oh, that's my shit. I want the New Line shirt, please. New Line was hard. That I saw in the driving and was like, what is that?

Did they make this? Like that's fucking cool. And I thought they made only turtles. I think, did you just say Dark Crystal? I think that was, was that not Lucas Films or like Henson Pictures or whatever? Yeah, I'm just trying to, I remember the Pegasus so well from TriStar, but I don't remember what flicks it was on. You guys, you're forgetting the master of it all, the Lion, dude, MGM. Yeah, I don't have any like specific like Wizard of Oz. Ernest. There's something weird with the roar of the lion too. Like it's not actually, it's like a bear or something. It's not actually a lion. No, it's a real lion. It's, there's something interesting about it, but I don't know what it is. Yeah, it's a lion. That's what's interesting as fuck about it, dude. It's cool as

hell. That is interesting. It's probably not like dubbed up. It's probably like a lion from later. Yeah. No, it's a, no, there's like a famous lion that they recorded doing it. Okay. Because I've seen that picture on Twitter or whatever. And I've actually met the grandchildren of that lion outside Las Vegas a few months ago. They got a real, real sad situation of a zoo there where there's a bunch of lions and cages and they, they claim that it's descendants from the MGM lion because they would drag them out to that casino. Oh, wait. So you got inspired by Lion King or a lion tiger king that you took your family to a tiger king like place outside of Vegas. No, I did barefoot. I just ran out there. There you go. Bender. We, it was a whole fucking thing

that nobody at home cares about, but we were trying to go to mammoth to get a house and then there was a huge fire. And so we couldn't stay there. So then we were like, well, why don't we drive to Utah? Well, why don't we cry about it? And we were like, no, let's not go to Utah. But then it was so late that we were like, we can't drive all the way back to LA. So we crashed in Vegas for one night at the encore. It was crazy seeing people gambling with masks and shit. And then the next day on the way out of town, we hit up this little insane petting zoo that had like 40 lions and one giraffe. And it was super sad. I love that. They were like, help me. You're the guy that hates zoos. If I remember from our podcast correctly, aren't you the one

that was like, we got to get rid of all these zoos or shit? Yeah, I think I was fresh off of watching these lions go. They're milking me for sperm and making more help. See, I think that's tight. This is in Prim or what? No, no, this is like, this is right near the Amazon like warehouse outside the city. Bro, what about Prim though? Yeah. Oh, we stopped in Prim at the mall to charge up the Tesla. Oh, for sure. And my homie Roger Gassman, I go in there. My homie Roger Gassman is like our manager guy, right? Roger Gassman, right? I love first and last name Roger Gassman. I'm giving him a shout out. He's the dude who did all the like beyond the streets, all that stuff. Anyway, entrenched in the street art game. And I go in this mall to be like,

there's a Nike outlet. I might have some some come ups. Let's go. And there's these huge murals that I'm like, these are kind of legit. And I'm like, I went to high school with the person who painted just like that. That's fucking weird. And then I got around the corner and saw his name on it. And I'm like, what is happening? These are all people that are on Roger's like his hit list or whatever. And then I texted him, I'm like, why at a mall in the middle of Prim, Las Vegas? Is there like an off the chain art installation thing? And he was like, some Australian dudes who like on the mall hit him up and said, we want to turn this into something cool. Dude, Prim. Prim's up next. If people don't know. For sure. Oh, no doubt. Oh, yeah.

Austin is over. Prim is popping. Prim is this weird ass little town right before Las Vegas that has a roller coaster and it's just kind of trying to be Las Vegas, but nobody. It's only has like what, two casinos or something? Is there a terrible stare? Is there? Yeah. If you're driving from LA to Vegas, there's a little town just like what an hour outside of Vegas or maybe less. Yeah, right over. Is it right over the border into into Nevada? Right in Nevada, right over the border and little town called Prim that is just like three or four casinos. It's pretty shitty, but it's also just like for the guys that just cannot wait to get to Vegas. They have to gamble right now and they're just like, you know what? Fuck it. We're stopping here for a few hours to

get the fix. And if it's your first time, you think it's Vegas at first. You do. I thought it was the first time I saw it. You're like, we're here. It's amazing. If you like old Vegas, you're going to love Prim. All right. Prim's your shit. No, it's Prim. We should do a whole ad campaign for them. Let's take board of tourism, Prim. Shout us a holler. We got you. Didn't we always want to make a workaholics episode where the dudes went to Prim and thought they were in Vegas? We did. Absolutely. Amen. I lost my ass in Prim, dude. It would have been good. Everyone goes to like France or somewhere on there like cool. Where'd you guys go for modern family, Adam? Australia? I didn't go. But they went, right? There was like one of those

episodes. They went to Australia, I believe. Unreal. We just wanted to go to Prim. Prim, baby. Comedy Central was like, I don't know. No. Just a fantastic name to Prim. Sounds great. That's where the workaholics movie will take place in Prim. That's great. For sure. No doubt. We all just become prostitutes in Prim. Yes, dude. For sure. No doubt. Is that where the Bunny Ranch is? Is it there? Is it in Prim? Or is it actually outside of Vegas? It's out on some freeway, right? Yeah. I don't think it's in like an actual city. So in case they escape, he can track them down. I don't know exactly where it is, but off Highway 42. I don't have a map of the state tattooed on my back with a star where it is. God, that'd be

so tight. What's that tattoo of? This is Nevada. It was a star. That's the Bunny Ranch. Did that guy die? The Bunny Ranch guy. He did. He did. Do we want to tell our story? What story? I don't know. What's the story? We went to go do, it wasn't Howard Stern, but we were doing Sirius XM at the Howard Stern like studios and all that, and we were eating lunch afterwards and beforehand downstairs at that like fancy corporate restaurant. And homie walks in with a bevy. We all turn because our manager goes a bevy means like a few women, a few women, a bevy of women. I thought you meant a beverage. He probably had both. See, I did clarify. Thank you.

This dude walks in like he owns the place he did and we all turn and he gives us like a nod and a finger gun like it's me. Yeah, it is actually me. And of course, we were the most impressed like of weird, the people who want to see that. Oh dude elbowing each other. I have, I'm going to post this video when this launches. I have a video that I recorded from a Bunny Ranch episode where they're like having fun and games. The episode is Cat House for people that don't know that are listening. Cat House on HBO. Legendary. Yeah, let's explain it a little bit. It was like, wait a second. Reality show at the Bunny Ranch. It's a reality show about a whorehouse in Nevada called the Cat House or called the Bunny, called the Bunny Ranch. It's

the Bunny Ranch. But the Cat House is the name of the show. The name of the show is Cat House and took place at the Bunny Ranch. And for what, I think it must have came out like when we were like 18 years old or something. We were like very impressionable young men going like, Oh my God. On the heels of real, real sex, which was kind of like getting less and less sexy. And this was just more of a reality show. Yeah. Well, real sex, when it first came out, when we were kids, I remember real sex was like, Oh my God, like we're seeing some naked women and we're in like middle school. So it was exciting. We are. We are. But then at the end, it's like, it was just like touring dildo factories or just like hairy men fetishes. Furries. It was more

like sex education. Yeah. I don't want to, I'm still new to the whole sex world. I just want to see breasts. I don't necessarily need to see like grown men with that enjoy wearing pig noses. Real sex raised me. You would boo your TV. You go boo. Well, you always, you could flip down on the channel guide and be like, real sex fucking yes. Okay, what's that? And then it never was like something that could really get you going. But I have a video that I recorded off of watching my TV where like they were having fun at the ranch. So it's not fully sad for this TV show, right? Oh yeah, it was awesome. And they're like running down the hall when you hear like the thing and who's the fastest and this one girl hoofs it. She's moving at cat house when they like ring

the bell and you're supposed to like come present and they're doing a fun like who can get there the fastest. She hoofs it down the hallway, mock speed, stumbles in her stilettos and just pile drives each into a wall head first and then gets up like you got to post that on the Instagram because that clip is money. Oh, it is brutal. Dude, I wonder how many times an ambulance has to go out to that fucking place all the time, right? Like that was where Lamar Odom like OD'd and was OD'd on like, you know, allegedly tons of dick pills and cocaine or whatever. For sure. That's where you go for your last ride. Like old dudes go there to die fucking, right? They're hoping for a heart attack climax. Just take the card. I'm like, I'm coming. Yeah, I'm coming. I'm going.

That's also where Andy Kaufman went back in the day. He used to go there and blow all of his taxi money because I love Andy Kaufman. I just think he's the most interesting person. He would go there and blow all of his taxi money just on hookers and he would get the entire cat house. He would just like grow in and be like, I pay for everyone. And then not fuck them, just wrestle them and like insult them. I think he would have sex with them. Well, for sure. But again, this is, again, I was just taking liberties with jokes. I was making something up. The ribbon and the terror. But then tear me down. Do you know if he was like in his Tony Clifton vibe when he would go to the cat house or would he do that as Andy Kaufman? I believe it was both. I think he would do

both. Like he would visit him as both characters. Yeah. All right. I'll see you guys in a couple months and then he would just come back in 10 minutes later like, I need pussy. Yeah. Give me pussy and a steak. Oh, you're back. I don't know what you mean. I just fucked you. Why are you talking to me like that? This is how I talk to people. I'm Tony Clifton because I'm Tony Clifton. That's the ribbon and the terror. I just fucked you, bro. Your prosthetic is falling off. There's no way you can fuck. We just fucked. Give it a shot. There's pillows underneath your t-shirt. Your mustache is falling off. What do you mean? Like it's really mean. Don't eat lifted. You have the same weird dick. His dick is not prosthetic. At least throw a fake dick on. Yeah, the exact

same dick. He's still got that schematar dick, bro. Schematar. Damn. For people at home, we don't know what that is. That is an old fashioned pirate sword. A curved blade. Curved blade. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the

planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see?

I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team

to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel. Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the creatives, the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, Thursdays on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts.

Do you guys remember when we were, when Workaholics had just premiered and it wasn't actually out yet, we just premiered it at the Trump roast. No, at the, uh, that was it. That was it. That was the first time on TV. It was before we were in Miami and it was for like the South Beach Comedy Festival. And we showed it to like a room of 400 college kids. And it was awesome. And they loved it. Well, it did really well. And we were like, holy shit, I think people are actually going to like the show. And we partied like we had just won the NBA finals. We like went out that night. We're like, yeah. And it was like three a.m. or four a.m. And we're in South Beach somewhere. And it's our first time there. And we're just like partying our fucking

faces up. And I remember we were at some like karaoke place, but in like a nice hotel bar. And I can't remember exactly where we were, but some girl comes up to me and she's like a babe, dude. And she's just like chopping me up. But I'm like, I must just be throwing out like mad, confident aura because the show just premiered and it did so great. And I'm like, I must be like throwing it out right now. And she's like, do you want to come back to my room? It's I have a hotel room right next door. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I do. But then I was thinking, I was like, oh, I'm so fucked up right now. Like I'm like, I'm like, you're really drunk. Yeah, I'm not going to be able to have sex with this girl. And so I'm like, you know what,

I got to go splash some water in my face to gear up for this situation. So I'm like, hang on a second, babe. Actually, I'm sure it's like, when I go into the bathroom, I got to go puke all this poison out of my mouth. Exactly, Kyle. And so I splashed some water in my face. I was like, all right, you can do this. And I go back out and then I see her chopping up some other just like dumpy dude, just just chopping him up and he's like, and he like touches her lower back and like walks away with her. And then I see she has a scorpion tattoo on her thigh. And I'm like, Oh, I think, uh, I think she was a prostitute. And I just am too drunk and too naive to not notice that. Remember the part two of that? What's the part two?

Is that there was this one, just the star of the show that night. That's right. He was probably five foot four, a hundred pounds. And he was probably like 18 in a day or 20, a young dude. And he was just full on sexuality dancing in the middle of this entire karaoke bar. I remember this. And he was looking everybody directly in the eyes. And Miami's different. He also got arrested for being a prostitute. We're like, who's this guy? He's killing it. Did he really? Did we stay on stage and like play fucking bongos and shit that night? And like, like hella late, like we were jammed.

I did Tina Turner's We Don't Need Another Hero. I want to say Isaac did like some, some 80s punk. Isaac's our manager. Our manager. Yeah. I just remember like commandeering the drums. I'm glad that we have Ders here to remember all the details late at night. It got fuzzy for me. I can't remember nothing. It gets a little blurry for me. Miami's the best. It's so underrated.

Miami psycho. And then we went back to the hotel and we're like all going in our rooms, but we're like right next to each other and there's balconies outside and so we look in the ocean, but it's like a horseshoe shaped hotel. And we were on the middle part of the horseshoe. And all of a sudden Ders goes, holy shit, dude. He's like yelling out of the balcony. And he's like, he's like, he's like, I think you guys want to come out here.

And we all come out on our individual balconies and look out and there's just some guy with all the lights on his hotel room, just having a full blown threesome, just, just going for it as the sun was coming up. And we're like late. It was like the sun was coming up and we were like, hey guys, I guess this is our lives now. Watching people. We're kind of part of orgies now. Yeah, this is starting from my football field away.

Hey guys, this is our lives now. It was crazy. Yeah, that was like, it was like 430 to five in the morning. We watched that happen as the sun went up and just memories. That was cool because that was like the first time we all had our own hotel rooms. Before that, we were like sharing. Yeah, we were like a traveling circus, just jam packed. Yeah, I would sleep in the closet.

I don't know who got the beds and how probably Ders and Adam got the beds. Probably. Oh, well, do we want to tell that story? What's that story? We're telling it's story time. Story time. Is this like Comic-Con? Story time.

No, no, this is before, this is before everything when we were doing a national ampoum. Oh, I know where you're going with this. Tour. And we were all in a hotel room together and came back from the club. Oh, the recording is somewhere we... I was not there. I have the recording. Kyle has a recording.

Just if you're imagining, I'm at our house. Yes, Kyle's back in LA, missing us recording albums that you've heard. Yeah, he's recording lonely albums about aliens and shit. That's exactly what was going on. We're on tour in, is this Chicago? This happened, right? And we get some deep dish pizza because I was like, we got to get it. We go out for...

Wait, where were we performing though? Waukegan? Where were we? We weren't... No, that was weird. No, we were performing at the Xanies in Vernon Hills. Xanies, Vernon Hills. Shout out Vernon Hills.

And we swapped out a city name in our sketch for Waukegan and played pretty good, if I remember. Got to laugh every time. So we get back to the hotel from the bars, slammered. And there's pizza and Blake and Adam are fighting about who's arms are bigger or something. Yes, it was... I have the biggest arms and lemmings. It started getting real and then... Probably the realest argument we've ever been in.

And I'm just like... Well, the thing is, is it's not an argument. It's measurable. It's not like... No, but don't forget something else. Because you claimed a bed and he was like, that's my bed. And then you threw his stuff onto another bed. He threw pizza in my asshole.

Not yet, not yet, not yet. I thought he puked in the limo and lied about it. No, I didn't puk in the... I didn't lie about it. Oh. No, you did puke though. I did puke. Because you ate hella...

There was like Chinese food continental dinner at the hotel. Let's start at the beginning. There is no beginning. Jillian was there. We got to ask her at some point. That's true. We start at the... So we went out and this was the night before the show.

We got in our director, Jay Leggett, R.I.P. He was the man. He passed away. He got us a limo and he's like, I'm going to take you guys out on the town, show you Chicago. And we're like, oh, hell yeah. So we get in the limo. Right before the limo, the hotel we were staying at had all you can eat free Bud Light.

Like, yes. All you can drink Bud Light and all you can eat egg rolls. And so I'm like, you know, I'm poor. We were crushing it. I'm like, I was like... We're broke as fuck. I was like 20, 21 years old. I didn't go on the trip because they were going to pay me $75

for like six days worth of work. And I'm like, no. Dude, it was a whole scam. I don't want to get into that again. Well, it was worth it because it was a great story. Oh, yeah, it's insane. I had no money. And so I was like, you know what?

I'm going to eat all the egg rolls I can handle now. We were all crushing them. Yeah, but build a base. So I don't have to eat dinner later. This is smart. So I don't have to pay for dinner. Right. Yeah, you're saving money.

And so I ate like 15 egg rolls or something and was just chugging the Bud Light. And that didn't go well in the guts. We get in the limo. Wait, I want to say that they also like... I'm still going to send it. They're like, OK, hey, it's 6 p.m. The Bud Light and egg rolls are over.

And then they just like closed doors on like a cabinet to a keg. And we were like, OK, we'll stop. And then for another hour, we just opened the cabinet and kept drinking and getting hammered. And then, yes, we were hammered by when we got into that limo going out for the night. So you're in the limo topped out

with fucking egg rolls and Bud Light. Oh, tummy roll of egg rolls. That's it. How many people in the limo? There's like 9 or 10 of you, right? Yeah, we're packed in. And I remember I yacked in the limo and like the beginning of the night.

And I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry. And we're like, oh, Jesus. And the guys all pissed at me, but we had them for the night. And I'm like, oh, what to do? And he's like, oh, fuck. And we get to the place and everyone's kind of salty at me that I puked in the limo. And I'm like, I'm sorry.

It didn't mean to. But then we I rallied and we continued and we go out for the full night. Yeah. This is another one of your lives, brother. I vomited from alcohol poisoning rallied. Kept drinking. Isn't that what happened?

Yes. That's what I'm saying. One of another one of your lives. Another lie. Lies. Lies. I thought you said lies. Another one of your lies, Adam.

No, no, no, dude. No, no lies here. This is all true. True. Zero lies. Yeah. I'm like, I don't know how I remember it. This is honest Abe over here, man.

Come on. L-I-V-E. And so then we go out and then we had a great night. I remember there's like fun photos of that night and we all look really sloppy. There's really funny photos of Blake looking like just a spicy 55 year old divorcee who had won too many margaritas. I definitely had my pants off in the limo on the way home.

That's for sure. Yeah. So when did the turmoil begin? So on the way home, you take your pants off? What's up? They're fighting about something that was in the arms and then it got into who's got the biggest arms. This is what I think it was.

I think Adam like collapsed onto what it was Blake's bed. And so then he was like, get off and he goes here, throw your stuff and he threw his stuff onto the other bed, which is just not, that's not kosher. You don't do that. But everyone's drunk. And then Blake was just like, no, put it back. And you're like, no, I'm already sleeping here.

And then who threw pizza into who's butt? Somebody took a piece of pizza and then just like threw it into somebody's butt. What actually happened was Blake fell onto my bed and Blake moved, I think he moved my shit onto the other bed. And he's like, I get this bed. And I'm like, I already called that bed. Not kosher.

And then he had his pants hanging off. Right. Like he does. And I go, well, if you're gonna, if you're going to lay on what I claimed as my bed, I'm going to throw this leftover deep dish pizza in your asshole. His ass was hanging out. He had his entire ass just up in the, I'm like, come on, man.

Why is your whole fucking ass hanging out? You used to get like, pull your pants like dangerously down when you were drunk. You love, they're down right now. I bet. Stand up, stand up. We're finally going to see the butt. Yeah, don't be pulling it up.

You're pulling it up. Nope. See, all the way down. Yeah. Look at that. His whole asshole is hanging out of his pants right now. I'm from the bay, dude. We sag, bro.

Oh yeah. No one, no one anywhere else sags. Yeah. I guess that's only a bay area. The fuck out of here. No one. Anyway, so I threw deep dish pizza directly into Blake's asshole. And here's the taste.

I know. Your fucking butt hole was all over the cheese. You are being too silly right now. Silly. Because you're drunk. I'm not drunk, dude. You're drunk. I have a hole in my hand.

I have a wheel of pirates. Didn't take a drink after that. I've been drank since then. You guys drank since then? A lot. I've been not drank since then, too. So why are you still acting like it's fucking easy? Because why would you do this to me?

You bother me. Is that anger at issues? You bother the fuck out of me, dude? I don't think you don't bother me. I don't know what you think that's your motherfucking ass. I can take a step into school with you. I don't know, dude. I don't know.

Maybe you said I was fucking out of control, dude. You're fucking out of school. Don't hold up to me. You're fucking business. No, I'm not driving. This is a stressful fucking piece of life. I don't want to cheat. No, I'm fucking, dude, who gets shit?

You really care about that shit? I'll stop. Just tell me now. I don't know what to tell you. If you care about my fucking butt, hang it now. I'll stop. I'll work pants all the time. Okay, please do.

Okay, you got it, dude. Motherfucker, don't jump in the camera with your ass hanging out. When you're commenting on fucking a laptop picture. Don't do it, because I don't like your asshole with your white. You fucking got too much poop in you. You got it, bro. Yeah, bro. Honestly, I just want to tell God I'm a superstar.

Yeah, bro. Honestly, I just want to tell God I'm Mr. fucking Lemmings with the biggest arms. Just don't do that to me, dude. Look, you're fucking fucking like an idiot, dude. Okay, dude. Really? Is it okay? Yeah.

You swear? Yeah. Okay. No more bulls. We're cool. No more bulls. That's the new rule. What's the rule?

Okay. No more bulls. Okay. No more bulls. You can't fucking show your bulls. New rule? No more bulls. You really want the rule?

You really want that? Yeah. I really want us to call each other out on that, dude. I really hope it's this. Okay. I'm gonna go on. I feel like we were cool with that. I thought that was okay.

I didn't think I was doing something bad by laying in the bed, dude. Because we just needed to fucking laugh. Really? Dude, I don't want to get away. No, you don't want to do it because it's a lot of fun. There's record in the whole thing. Okay. You're the guy on the voice box.

It's gonna be good though. That's fine. This is on you, dude. This is on me. No. That's on me. This is on me, dude. I haven't done anything that the hotel will charge me for.

Or the fucking limos. Because the limo will charge for a beaut. And the hotel will charge for pizza sauce. You're overreacting. That's not real. I don't know. That was your bed a second ago. I know.

And then there's the fucking covers on me. I know. And then I said, I get it. Oh, that's your bed. No, I'm very sad. I was gonna lay in the bed because you won't lay in it. You said you wouldn't lay in it. I mean, you are crazy, right?

Yes. And we're back. And we're back. So what had happened was they were arguing, I'm laying on the cot because I think I just called the cot. Yeah. And I call Kyle to be like, yo, these dudes are going at it. He didn't pick up.

He went to voicemail. So I just kind of held my blackberry up for the voicemail to record it all. Kyle got it. And then he said it to like sad piano music. So kudos to Kyle for setting the tone on that one. So unreal. It was the best thing to wake up to. There's no more butts.

There's no more butts in male order comedy. Fine. And it's so serious. We won't talk about it. No more poop jokes. That's all right. Yeah. There's too much poop coming in your butt hole.

Dude, there was a lot stacking up, man. That's when we were all broke. Come on, dude. Yeah. There was a lot coming out. Yeah. Well, yeah. National Lampoon was really, really taking advantage of us, man.

Oh, bro. It's crazy. I like tried to strike and everyone was like, no. And I'm like, okay. That was wild, dude. They really got a lot for nothing out of us. I'm going to get into this for a second. I do remember like all of us got together.

All the actors and writers of the sketch tour that it was going to be got together. For the National Lampoon Lemmings. Right. And so Lemmings was a big thing in the 70s. Allegedly. I'm trying to be like kind of not super specific because I don't know.

Yeah. Well, you can find it. There's sick ass photos of us. And Lemmings 2.0 fucking rock, bro. Oh, we're going to post that. And so I remember we all got together to like power out with all of us. It was us and then eight other people maybe.

And I'm like, I think maybe if we get paid $800 a week, that'd be pretty good. And everyone's like, are you kidding me? That's peanuts. We should be getting $2,000 a week. And I was like, yeah, that'd be great. That'd be sick. And then I think we dialed it back to the $1,400

was the least we would take. And then everyone's like, cool. We all ate pizza. And we went to the office the next week to rehearse. And he goes, OK, so everyone's going to get $650 a week. And I go, we're not going to do that. And everyone goes, that sounds awesome. Let's do this.

Everybody folded. Everybody folded. And I was like, I became the biggest dick, which I know you guys think I am. But I was like, no, we're not going to do this. And somebody pulled me aside. And he goes, look, man, from the beginning of cavemen painting on caves, artists

have been getting screwed over like this. And I was just like, OK. We can stop that? Right. Well, by the way, so that wasn't any of us that pulled you off to the side. No, no, no. This is another home.

A funny dude. I was on my own separate contract because I just made all the videos. So I just negotiated for myself. It was equally as shitty. And I folded equally as much. I was like, and then I said, no, I won't do it. Hoping that everyone would be like, well,

Derz is holding out. We all look up to Derz. No one gave a fuck. I got phone call after phone call from people being like, will you just do it? Like, everyone wants to do this if you're not there. And I'm like, I go, OK, if this is what we're doing, we're doing it.

And then we have the story. Thank God. Why did we do that? Yeah. Well, admittedly, it did suck. And we weren't paid anything. But I wasn't making much more than that, just working my shitty job anyway.

So I was like, I'd rather be doing comedy. But some people were making more, and would have had to quit their jobs. Those people were stupid. They were like, I guess I'm doing it. Exactly. For sure. What was the rehearsals like for you guys?

What were you guys? Where's it? It was $3. I remember a whole summer where it seemed like we worked every fucking day. Oh, yeah. We did. Was it like that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was. It was fucking crazy. I remember there was Pizza Fridays for like the first three weeks, and then those stopped. And then they had Go Girl. They had Go Girl energy drink. That was like all you could drink.

Oh, wow. And some kind of eye drops. Like, we had the weirdest like parts where it's like, you guys got Go Girl energy drink, and these all the gum you could handle. And it was energy gum. Oh, yeah. Yeah, all the energy gum you could handle.

Go Girl energy drinks. And if you guys need any vizim, talk to Debbie at accounting and she'll squirt you up. It ruined my relationship with Jay, which I always felt salty about because he thought I wasn't feeling like. A team player or something. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm the most team player.

I'm much loved. That was like the last breath that National Lampoon like banner took. Oh, I was like, where are you going with this, dude? No, no, no. National Lampoon. Not to get dark. Because Jay's not alive anymore.

I know. I know. But I thought you were going to be like, I hate hunters. Yeah. National Lampoon's last breath. That was the last breath of National Lampoon. And because they were.

They'll be back. You think so? Aren't they done? They're like a cockroach. Natty Lamp. They're going to rebrand as Natty Lamp and like get like some. National Lampoon is revamping Natty Lamp. Yeah, I love that.

They really played off of the original Lemmings though. Like, I mean, the original Lemmings had so much success. And I think that was the only carrot that kept us all in the game was like, well, look at what they did back then. Like, look at, that was like Christopher Guest. And explain what the Lemmings was to everyone. Because it's hella long ago. It was like a sketch troupe in the late 60s, early 70s that had.

Late 70s, yeah. Late 70s? Yeah. John Belushi, Christopher Guest, Chevy Chase. Actually not late 70s, 73. 73, pardon me. Okay. Like Bill Murray and shit was it?

Bill Murray, Gilda Radner. It was like the, was it pre-SNL? Do you know? Yeah. It launched John Belushi, Christopher Guest, Chevy Chase. Heavy headers. Yeah. And we were Lemmings 2.0.

Yes. Right. So equally heavy headers. Well, looking back, I mean, come on. Come on. Come on. Yeah. Looking back, Jillian.

Jillian, let's go. Jillian did it. We ate our money's worth of egg rolls, so it's all good. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences

by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities, like does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life.

She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me, because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team

to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel. Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the creatives,

the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte the official podcast, Thursdays on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. I feel like when we got paid that one time after the summer, it was not a lot. Blake, you and I took the trip to Grand Canyon for energy drinks. That's right, dude. Can we talk about your energy drink collection? I would love to.

These guys had a collection that you wouldn't believe. It's the best every energy drink ever made. Like hundreds of different cans and different brands of energy drinks at the height of energy drinks. And none of them better than Monster Energy. I feel we've, well, that was the- Like you guys had cocaine energy drink? Yeah, we had cocaine before it got banned.

We had Steven Seagal energy, Hulk Hogan energy. Jimmy Mouth of the South energy, hyphy. Everybody had it. Do you remember my pitch? Because I told you guys to like document it. And I was like, here's what you should do. Line them all up and then just kind of like coast the camera past it. And then like somewhere in the middle, just have someone's nuts hanging between two cans.

And then just keep going for like four more minutes. That would have been dope. Shoulda woulda coulda. I want to say there's like an online museum of energy drinks. It would be cool to check out. I'm sure that would spark some nostalgia for me. The energy boom was insane. That was when every ingredient had a fucking cross by it

because we had no idea what it meant. It was like, we were just putting shit into this liquid. This will get on excited. I like that the cross is the symbol they put near that because it's like, we don't know what it is. So you just have to have faith? Is that what that means? That might be.

It may be. Yeah. They pull on the Christianity roots. What sucks is I feel if the energy boom was happening right now, I think that we would have our own energy drink or at least be talking to someone. Yeah. Yeah.

Called boy juice. Yeah. Called a pod sauce. Pod sauce. Called the pod sauce. Slurped down the pod sauce. And then you guys just threw it away. I came over one day and saw trash bags.

And you guys were like, we're done. We're moved on. Well, it was like, we spent a lot of time working on that and setting it up. And remember, we put like little gum and stuck it to the wall and shit. And every night it would be like ting, ting, ting, ting. Right.

Because it was like the crown molding of your house. It moved with us. We had to move the collection. And then I think workaholics started. Yeah. We had to take it down for workaholics because we couldn't clear all the energy drinks. So I think the art department put it in bags in the back.

And then basically it was like, well. Well, then we were like, should we recycle this shit? I don't recall that mattering for the pre-pilot, for the one we shot before. No, I think it's up in the pre-pilot. I have a feeling there's parts of it up. I thought you guys just chucked it. Oh, so we moved to the workaholics house

with the energy drinks. I couldn't remember. I thought we threw them away on that move. No, we built shelves at Packard. And it was fucking so nice. It was awesome. It was earthquake proof. It was stunning.

It was stunning artwork. Yeah, baby. And then we brought it over to the Hamlin house. Yeah, baby. We brought the shelves, but we never put the shelves up. We just like tried a new method. It was like using like double stick tape and just sticking the cans directly to the wall.

And it was terrifying because you would be like home alone or whatever. And then all of a sudden like a can would pop off and just fall to the ground. Shit. Clink, clink, clink. And it sounded like for sure someone's in the house. Every night you'd wake up to like 20 of them on the ground.

Oh, well, this sucks. Would you guys rinse them out or would you just slam it and can it up? So then like the whole house kind of had this aroma. Yeah, I feel like we... I don't remember any rinsing. I don't remember. Kyle's like, you think I rinsed them?

I remember looking at the tops and they would have like that brown syrup on it. And you'd be like, oh, damn. And then you guys are like, and somehow we started getting rats. And they would just pop out of nowhere. Those rats were getting that little last drop in the lip, the top of the can that's there, that little last. Oh, we used to call that friends.

Oh, yeah, that's right. They got those friends. The rats at that house were fucking huge. They were on energy drinks. Dude, that's what happened. We did the fucking... We made mutagen. We made mutagen X.

You guys had killed a bunch of splinters. Do you remember when we caught that one rat that we got like that one giant rat trap? And then it was like, from head to tail, it was like two feet and some change. It was like fucking huge. That's a possum. That was marsupial.

You had a possum living under your bed. That was a chupacabra. That was a chupacabra, bro. That's where that came from. Oh my God, that is right. Yeah. From a workaholic episode. Definitely.

Can I say, a buddy of mine, he was like, dude, I just watched the acid trip episode of workaholics. It's so funny. And I'm like, oh, I haven't watched season three in so long. Because normally, if I'm going to go back and watch workaholics episodes,

I'll just watch an episode from season one just because that's when we started workaholics. And it's the most nostalgic for me. And so I went back and I watched the acid trip episode. And then it went into like the chupacabra and true dromance. Oh, man. Those are some good episodes, dude.

It was the funniest show on TV for a while. It was the funniest show on TV for sure. Without a doubt. There we go. Yeah. We're still going to say that. Without a doubt, I got dragon snouts. Yay!

Hey, is it too late whenever this is going to air to talk about your favorite Christmas gift? You ever got as a kid? Yeah, it's a new year right now, bro. Happy new year. Okay, let's talk about favorite new years. You almost die at all? Wait, I never, I don't get any good gifts.

Shut down. I say we freaking skip it. No way. Shut it down. Shut it the fuck down. Gifts as kids? Man, I never really liked it. The fucks.

I think I remember my favorite Christmas gift was a fucking pop gun, dude. Like an ice cube pop gun? And what is a pop gun? Like a fucking pop gun, like one of the ones with the cork and you just go like... Oh, what? Yes.

I got one of those. I fucking loved that thing when I got... What are you, little house on the prairie? What the fuck? Did you ever own a BB gun? Did you just like kick in a can? What the fuck are you talking about, man? You had a cork gun.

He would beat a hula hoop with a stick down the street. Yeah, all right. I didn't realize Kyle was a child in 1952. I'll never forget the year I got jacks. Yeah, I don't know. It just fucking popped into my head like pop gun. You know, I loved it. That's so cool.

Did you get the little doll where you push the bottom of the platform and it collapses and you let go and it stands up? I love those mechanical toys, man. They're fucking cool. I wasn't allowed to have those. Mine was probably BB guns. I had quite the arsenal of BB guns.

Like we're talking a red rider? What are we talking? I had red rider. I had a pellet gun. I had that was like, and then I had sniper rifles on all of them. And then I had a couple of pistols, a couple of handguns. Scopes?

What do you mean sniper rifles on all of them? You had scopes? Sorry, scopes. Oh, okay. Did you ever get a paintball gun? Did any of you dudes ever get one? I did. I had a paintball gun.

Oh, fuck yeah. I had a paintball gun for a while. It was just hard to get enough people to go paintballing. Like I had the gear and then I'm not just going to go by myself paintballing. So I was like, I need to get a little squad. We got to do that. We did a thing every year.

I can't remember if it was freshman and juniors versus sophomores and seniors. Or freshman sophomores versus junior seniors. But it was kind of like homies of homies who kind of knew somebody on like a sports team that was older. We would get together with like eight on eight or 10 on 10.

And it would fucking go down. Man. That's a squad. For paintball. Yeah. Yeah. Paintball is so fun. I don't even know if I'd survive now.

It's so scary. It is so scary. Like you are running on high. I feel like for my 29th birthday we all went. Yeah. Did we go? That's the last time I went. Yeah, we did.

Oh. I think that was the last time I played. Durs had the best thing. You remember this shit? Dude, he had a fanny pack with a motherfucking Italian sandwich in his in it. It was half eaten. Yeah.

You'd smell him before he shot. Yeah. He said, if you smell the Italian sandwich, you're already dead. I was eating a subway spicy Italian. Because I hadn't eaten all day. And we were getting ready to jam out. And I was like, I'm not going to eat a 12-inch sandwich

and then run around. So I ate half of it and stuffed the other in my Arcteric's fanny pack. It's also, couldn't you just put it in your car or something? No. Because I was like, we were lighting candles and saying happy birthday or some shit. So I stuffed it in a fanny pack.

And he was like, what are you going to carry that? Like you're saying? I go, that's right, bitch. You're going to smell. Right before you die, you're going to smell the spicy Italian. If you smell spicy Italian, you're already dead. You're already dead. That's what it was.

It was so clean, so good. I'll never forget it, man. That shit was hella fun. Paintball and rocks. It hurts so bad, so that you are legit running for your life. Yes. Man, I had a paintball hit me in the back, knocked the fucking wind out of me.

Like I went down. Yeah. Down. We never did it in high school. We never did it in like proper paintballing places. We would go out to the middle of the country. Just target. And do it like in the cornfields with like,

there was a cornfield that surrounded and abandoned a farmhouse. So then, and then there was like silos and shit. And people would get fucking very hurt. Some kid fell through the barn. Right, because he's trying to get some pimp ass position up there. Ow, ow, ow, ow, stop, stop, stop. He was like trying to snipe from the loft of the barn, and it's all just rotten wood.

And just fucking, just all like running around. And we're like, where's Cody? And all of a sudden you're like, crash. And he fucking falls like 15 feet just. And I think he broke a rib. It was pretty fucking bad. I mean, you, ow, ow, ow, stop, stop, stop. You do become commando.

You do become Rambo. You're running and sliding and like doing barrel rolls and shooting because you think that's going to help you. Well, you're for sure like doing flips over stuff because you're like, well, this is the only way I'll stay alive. If not, I'm dead. I'm a dead man. I want to know what my old man paintball swag is

because I don't have those moves anymore. Oh, you're turning an ankle in 10 minutes. It's a fucking sniper barrel in a great position. I don't know though. Maybe you get out there and then like, you just click right back in. It's like maybe back in form. I would love to go.

I mean, the most fun that I ever had was not on a course. It was at my cabin, like Adam saying, like out without any rules. I think I went for like my 13th birthday and I brought like four or five other people. I was with you, brother. Yeah, you were there. But remember what was super sick about it? It was fucking snowing.

Yes, it was the best and it hurts so bad. Oh, wow. Die hard too style. It was so fucking cool. It was crazy. And the paintballs were like frozen. So that's when you get the fucking bounce. That's like dangerous.

That's like a real manhood shit. Like you want to play, you come out in the snow. It's like, yeah, my dad was there. I get my pipe that hard. The guns didn't work very well in the snow. They started to freeze up. We had to get our CO2. We had to bring our own CO2 up.

We bought like fucking 10,000 paintballs and just went crazy up there. I'm still going to send it. Dude, remember when you would have one friend that would just go ham and buy so many paintballs and you're like, you're rich and not good at this. I'm going to fucking come for you. Just a garbage bag of that shit.

You'd be like, you just spent $80 on paintballs? I spent $33 for like the deal that they have. And you like went behind the counter and got like an entire box. $33 paintball. No, $33. $33. They were expensive.

It was hell of expensive to get that shit. Yeah, paintballing is a rich man's game. That's what I think now. Now let's do it. We'll just fucking load ourselves up. I feel like that's a fucking movie right there. Yeah. We can get fucking paintball business and shit.

There's like paintball grenades we can buy. Let's spend some money, dude. People are using like flash bombs too, right? Yes, yes. You could have grenades and flash bombs and you could hook it in and then fucking storm. Didn't we hear stuff going off at your birthday when we're like, is somebody murdering people?

I think that was airsoft. Like airsoft has gotten even crazier. Or it's like, sure. Yeah, you could play in like abandoned buildings and shit. Oh, that's tight. I like that. You just accidentally shoot some homeless guy who's like just arriving back to his house.

I did not mean that. Actually, can you stay there and just let me know. Go, who? If you see somebody coming. How much you got? Here's part of an Italian sandwich. You got it, bud. Pizza, pizza.

Dude, let's go. Let's hit the battlefield. That would be sick. RIP Jetset. Let's do it. RIP Jetset. Let's save that for another pod since we're wrapping it up. Did somebody mention something about Jetset?

Where'd that come from? Well, I was thinking, I was thinking. He just pops in his mind, man. Well, I was thinking of that episode where we did like paintball or airsoft in the office. And then I was just last night. I was watching work colleagues and Jetset was alive. And all over it.

Scene stealer? I mean, come on, pure gold. Without a doubt. What a gift. What a gift. So if you haven't seen the show, go fucking watch the show. But yeah, why are you listening to this podcast? If you haven't seen the show, what are you doing?

They crossed over from Taylor Swift. They were like, who? What did these guys say? All the Tay Tay fans were like, wait a second. I kind of like going with the hair. I'm on a Rugaloid. Dude, hell yeah. Hey, I'm a Jetset fucking day oneer, baby.

That guy's the man. Jetset was somebody we hired as a background actor who just kind of walks past in the office of workaholics. There's tons of these people. That's an extra. Yeah. He's an extra. And none of them are like noticeable except for Jetset.

Well, we actually piled our office full of people that are weirdly like the background people are supposed to be just fade in the background. Right. All of our background people are people that you're like, wait, who's that guy? Showstoppers. We really made sure that you're also looking in the background of every episode going, I want to follow his story.

Yeah. I feel like Jetset, we had no idea who he was or what was going on. We just gave him a line. Bro, his name is Jetset. His name is Jetset. Yeah. We just said, he's the guy. Give him a line.

Have him talk about his cactus real quick. Let's see how that works. If you see his look, his hair slicked back, matted down. Like we didn't dress this dude. That's not costume. That's just Jetset being Jetset. He was a born entertainer who grew up loving Michael Jackson and kind of idolizing him. And you could find performing at Hollywood and Highlands and where else?

Like Venice Beach passing out bootleg t-shirts. Yeah, he, uh, I love his improv. His improv runs too. Okie dokie. Like I came in and like I dumped his, I thought it was Montez's cactus and I throw the cactus into the trash and I'm like, fuck your cactus. And Jetset flies up and he's like, get the fuck, get the fuck up out my house. Hey, what are you doing?

Yeah. And it wasn't a house. So this is just a cubicle? Yeah, it was just a cubicle. And he's like, get out my house. And then he goes, thank you. Goodbye. Or something like that.

He just had a way of fucking seeing the world that we were lucky enough to record. And you know who loved him? Children? Daniel Stern. Daniel Stern was like, this guy's solid gold. Like you never know what he's going to say. Well, I think that I do think that was Jetset's biggest scene was with that because that was the episode where you guys, that was his biggest scene too.

Like, like, yeah, and his hair was written into the episode as a plot point. You guys came back in an effort of solidarity and like. We had Jetset's hair. I got to rewatch the fucking show, man. He definitely had his sides. I will say that he had his script right below frame for that scene with Daniel Stern. I wish I could do that sometimes. The jokes per minute on workaholics were fucking through the wrist.

Breakneck. We ran out. That's why this is funny. We ran out of jokes a while back. Dude, we gave it our all, brother. When we were in the edit, I remember we would be like, it's OK if you miss some of the jokes. Dude, let's get the raw footage.

We got so many jokes on the cutting. Let's recut. Let's do the Zack Snyder cut of workaholics. The R-rated cut. Dude, you know I'm going to get really fucking bored one day and crack that shit open. You got the archives? What do you got? I'll get them.

I can get them. Still going to get them. I'm still going to get them. I'm still going to get them. Well, that's nice. It's good to hear that they hold up for you. Yeah, you know, I didn't know if it was going to and it really, really did. And especially like, I hadn't seen those specific episodes in so goddamn long

that now I'm like, maybe I just watch season 3B and 4 just to catch up. Because those like middle seasons, I'm like, I can't remember. I feel like those seasons are kind of like when you're really, really tired at a fucking sleepover and you're making the craziest jokes, but you don't remember them. But in the moment, it's so fucking funny. But you're trying to stay up to see the sunrise? Yeah, and you're just, because we were delirious probably from like 3 until the end.

Like maybe, maybe, what was the last one? We did 7? 7, yeah. Maybe 7 we were conscious, but from 3 to 6, I don't know if we were fully conscious of what was going on. I remember every moment. I was awake, yeah. Every moment is living with me right now and not there.

It's a nightmare. Just want to go back. It was very fun. I miss it. Those were best days of my life. Yeah, I miss it and I love it. The ripping and the tearing. Damn, I wish I remembered it.

Well, watch the episode. It'll jog some memories. There's a few where I'm like... I'm just playing, I remember it. I love those times. A few scenes that I don't remember at all. And then every once in a while, you'll see a scene and you will like transport back and be like,

oh, I remember where I hid my sides in that scene. I remember that there was... I hid my coffee cup behind that plant. I remember having to wait out in that specific hallway. I remember like certain conversations you had with the other actors like right before. It's like everything will come rushing back. Dude, when you guys came to my house

and I had got the Vogue up and running and it was in my driveway, Derz was like, check the door. There's the last sides in there. And it's like, oh, there they are. There it is, the last scene right there. It's where you put them every time. I do like watching for when my mouth is still full

from snacking between takes. And I'm like, I come through a door just kind of chewing and licking my teeth and going, yeah, we got to get back for our house. That's like when we shot that scene where we're like staking out the house eating pan express and we refused to spit it out between takes. So we just ended up throwing up.

We just ate like a bucket of orange chicken. I think I divined it and gagged myself and made myself throw up. Let's call that a divined it for now on. Balemia is a divined it. She's dealing with divinity right now. Yeah, fully defined. Got to go to the hospital.

When we got the Gravitron, I was like, roll on this. I'm going to barf. And I think your brother, Adam Nucek, directed that episode, right? Yeah, he did. Yeah. And he was like, okay, let's do it.

And then after a while, people were like, I don't know if we need to see that. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, you're going to want the footy. We're going to want this. That'll make it on the Zack Snyder cut. Yeah, dude.

Any takebacks, apologies, or, you know, the other one. Complementes. Put down. What was the other one? Epic slam. Epic slam. Epic slam. Epic slams.

Epic slams. Epic slam. I feel like we were pretty nice to each other this episode. I'm still going to send it. You know, yeah. Why? Then I apologize for that. Yeah.

I'm sorry to the fans for not going in on each other a little bit. Happy New Year. Yeah. It's a new year. It's a new us. They're looking for that hot, hot, hot, hot heat. I'll compliment us because it doesn't happen that often. I'll compliment all four of us for just having a real nice time

walking down memory lane. And what's the word? And what's the word? Haffen, man? You fucking dumbass. And we're back. What did I say? It doesn't happen that often.

Yeah. Oh, it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen that often. There's a way to compliment you on that fucking epic slam, dude. Yeah. Thank you so much. Fuck all you guys. I'm so smart when people don't say a word correctly.

Get them. I got to get them. Yeah, you do. You do flex on and usually it's me. Usually I'm a mumble mouth and my way through something and I get epic slams. Oh, dude. I'm glad it was called.

You were clean today. I was curling my toes on the table just rigged the pants on you. Fuck you asshole. Fuck you. I was all alone. And we did really stroll down memory lane today. We did. Yeah, we did.

New year, let's look back. But from now on, let's look forward, guys. And Blake well said. Hey, will you write that down and put that on a shirt for the show, please? You fucking... If you could get a piece of wood and paint that, and my mom would like that in your house.

If you could paint that in cursive on a piece of wood, my mom would like to put that above the door. Just one more time. What was it before we forget it? If you could... Haffen? What was it again? Hey, is someone at home, please rewind

and then send us art based on whatever the fuck. Blake just said that I already forgot. Let's look back and then also remember to look forward. Something like that, but it was better. It's way better. New years. It's already fucking 2021, y'all. We're in it.

Look at Laura, baby. Well, I do want to compliment Blake and Adam on being such good friends that the fight of their life happened back in Chicagoland and... And here we are. We're still here. They're still homies. They got us.

I do miss those like... You don't fight with your friends in the same way that you used to in your 20s. When you guys were just roommates and you're with each other all the time... I try. You're done fighting with your friends. Yeah, we don't spend enough time.

In that same capacity. Yeah, we're not together enough to where you don't fight like fucking brothers, like children anymore. Now you just go... And I miss that. I'm supposed to be somewhere I got to go. You feel the tension bubbling and you go...

Yeah, and you go... I got a thing. I do have a somewhere to be. And you believe that other person because they might. And you want them to leave. Back in the day, you're like, I know you don't. I know you don't have anything to do.

No, you don't, bitch. Where? Are you going to go to the coin star? You went to the coin star two days ago, motherfucker. You do not have that change. I can count that shit for you, dude. You... How much you pay me in all fucking...

I'll count that change, bitch. Sit your ass down. I'd like to compliment Blake and his use of coin star back in the day. He used to always sit there, assholes, directly into the sky, counting his change on the floor, waiting for a deep dish pizza right up the bum hole. Well, you know what?

I'm going to... My compliment goes to all of us. Our friendship. It's battle tested. Still love you, bros. I love you, dude. I love you guys. That's nice to be here.

Hey, I love you guys. Blake, I love you, Kyle. I love you, Ders. Also love you. What do you have to say, Ders? Hey, things could be worse. No one, man. So, is that what I love you, Ders?

I'd love to hear it from you. I heard it from Blake. Heard it from Kyle. I just said it. Dersy's hit us with it. He's chunking. His internet's chunking. Dersy hit us with it, dawg.

You are breaking up and, hey, love is in the air. The clearest I've ever heard, Joe. What's up? Yeah, yeah. Coming through, Chris is clear. Just hit us with it, dawg. Follow me, man. I'm going to give you a compliment

on how sweet you're being right now. It's been a tough year. Been a real rough year, you know? Maybe it's time to just come out with it, you know? Dude, year just started, brother. Happy new year. Oh, yeah. We're in 2021.

Olive juice. Hey, you guys know it? Olive juice. That's cool. You know what would be really important if you just said that you loved your buddies just one time. Just that I feel like that would be important. Hey, I love my buddies, guys.

This is great. Hey, everybody, quit looking back. Just start looking forward. Put it on a sign. Also, it's good to look back and walk down memory lane, but also, let's look forward. Let's also look forward. We got merch now.

Rate and subscribe. And that was another episode of This Is Important. And it was. Should we talk about what's most important right now? Should we do it to them? Yes, do it. Absolutely. Our merch, dude.

Our merch. How hot is that stuff? Hot, hot, hot, hot. It's so good. It's got our faces on it. It does have our faces on it. And a lot of people are like, I want to have you with me at all time

close to my Bosom area. And so guess what? You have that option now. Congrats. So go to our merch. And where can they find that, Kyle? Oh, you can get our merch at thisisimportant.merchcentral.com, baby. That's right.

It is. This is important at merchcentral.com. This is important at merchcentral.com. Also, guys, follow us on Instagram, follow us on Twitter, and follow at Pod Important because they got all this stuff. The pictures that we've talked about, they've got the links for this.

Anything that we're talking about on the podcast that week, we'll drop some behind the scenes stuff, some old photos, whatever we're talking about, old videos, a lot of weird music videos that Kyle made alone in his bedroom when he was depressed. Some really cool stuff. So follow us, Pod at Important, and merch is important. Yeah, buy a hat or a sweatshirt.

We love you. Treat yourself. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain

steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal.

Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets

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