This Is Important - Ep 22: A Message Specifically For Taylor Swift

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

Today, this is what's important:Yelling 'let's go,' Adam's ass winning a twitter poll, biking gear, the Mandela Effect, the Oculus Rift, Taylor Swift wearing the bear coat, Peaky Blinders, The Brady Bunch, Adam's character on The Righteous Gemstones, making money off religion, the ultimate urinal prank, and more. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about

what's obviously the most critically important issues on the planet. Today on This Is Important? You can fit your dick in the gas tank, bro. Come on. Bitch better have my honey. I squeeze, I cut off the stream, and then I let it go back on, and then I do it to like a beat. I go, smoke, call me grandpa. Buckle up. And we're back. You guys, let's freaking do this. Yeah, man. Let's go today. Let's go. Are you going to go? Can I say I do hate that I see all the time. Everyone doesn't know, and I think it started with LeBron, and I think I might have shit on this in the podcast before, but when people go, let's go. It is crazy. It bugs me. It honestly, and I don't

get that bugged by a lot of things, but I'm like, you're very unbugged. I'm unbugged. You can't bug this. You can't bug this guy. I'm bugged by that. I am bugged by that. Let's go. It's the response to everything now. Everything. The intensity of it, I think, would get very annoying, and it is annoying, but what did work on set was some guys who were very subtly were like, let's go, and I did dig it. Well, if you're literally going somewhere. Yeah, they were on their way to go somewhere. Yeah, if you're like, hey guys, let's go. Let's go. We're ready to go. Guys, the van's running. Yeah, let's go. When it's like you sink a cornhole shot, and you go, let's go. Oh, or the kids opening up their Christmas presents on Instagram. They were like getting

a PS5. They're like, got the PS5. Let's go about a Christmas gift. Let's go. My parents are rich. Your poor ass parents can't go anywhere. We get it. So go. This is a thing I've always wanted to kind of like step out, but then I just forget because it's not that important, but this is important. It is important. It is. This is important. So right now it's let's go. Right? True. Before that, it was that's what I'm talking about. And that is what I'm talking about. Is it? Yeah. Before that, at some point, it was like Booyah. Yeah, Booyah Kasha. Sure. Yeah, Booyah had a day. What is the history of that exclamation sports thing in chronological order starting? It goes, are you starting newer or older? Are we stuck in

Blake's favorite decade, the 90s? Do you think it started there? Do you think it started? Where are we starting? 80s. I don't know where it started. I'm saying let's start with let's go and work our way backwards. Okay. Let's go. Let's go. It starts there. Let's go. Let's go. Was that's what I'm talking about right before that? I think so. I think that's, that's what I'm talking about. Because people usually just say that to, they could have not said anything, but they would go, that's what I'm talking about. And that's a long one too. Yeah. And also, they might not have been talking about anything. No, you were just doing it. That person wasn't talking shit. They were silent for 30 minutes. Then a thing happens. Then that's what they're talking about. That's what I'm talking

about. That's what I'm talking about. You're like, Hey, Jeff, you didn't say shit, dude. You weren't talking about anything. Literally, you're silent. You're playing chess. You're playing chess and you haven't said a word in minutes. But wait, sorry. I think before let's go, it was just, it was the Ric Flair. People were doing that instead of speaking for a while. That's true. Does a high five count in this? I feel like maybe the high five was the big bang. No, no, no. It has to be a oral exclamation. Verbal high five could be where it started. That was the big bang. Like that could be back in like the fifties. No, it's for sure just like some old timey, like a snickerdoodle, you know, like 20s slang. That's for sure. Well, hang on. It's yee-haw was

there. Okay. It is yee-haw. Yee-haw, horse riding. It is yee-haw. But I'm going around like sports, like popularized sports phrases that are said once by a pro and then 12 year olds across America go, I'm going to say that for 18 months. See, like I can only think about Tropic Thunder when he was like, get you some. Oh, get some? Get some one for a while? Get some. Somebody out there on Twitter. Suck it. Step the shit out. Suck it. Hump the air and you say suck it. Yes. That's degeneration X. It is suck it. Nice. Hey, Blake. Fucking kudos. There you go, buddy. It looks like you weren't, you didn't fall asleep at the wheel this week. Thank you for that one.

I was ready for the suck it, baby. Hey, Kyle. Do you currently have egg on your face? Why? Uh-oh. Is there egg on your face right now, dude? Uh-oh. I don't think so. Shit. It's about to get important. Let's go. I feel like there might be some yoke on your face. Let's go. Oh my God. How am I not following along? That's the only yoke this dude is. Because the people have spoken. What? And they say that I have the nicest ass. Uh-oh. They said, they said it. There was a poll. Oh, bro. Oh, God. Hundreds of people, hundreds of people did it. Who put a poll out? Did you do the poll? It was an independent poll. Yeah, it was an independent

poll. It was an independent poll. There was like 500 people. Yeah. Where was the poll posted? Twitter. Who was the pollster involved? 500 people were polled? I don't know, these people. Yo, no. These are internet people. I demand a recount. I want a recount. I want Wolf Blitzer to put out the fucking poll if we're going to get real. I want the dude with the screen zooming in. All I'm saying is I got 50-something percent, then Blake had 33, then Derz with some change, and then you had like 5%. It's all because you fucking, it's because you had a little sob story going on, man. It's because people felt bad for you. It was biased. By the way, I love the like, do you have yoke on your face? Kyle has no idea about this poll of 17 people. I know, dude.

He's been waiting for two fucking weeks to say this, by the way. I guarantee it. Okay, 470 votes. Okay, 470 human beings clicked. Bots. Where is it posted? Where is it posted? Some Twitter, and I reposted it so you could go to my account and follow it. Evidently, this person made an account where they just kind of follow the podcast. That's fucking bullshit right there. And it says, Blake with his high and tight got 33%. Adam with his thick with the C, and juicy 51%. Kyle, stepping in. I don't know what that means exactly, but stepping in is

what they say about your ass. I think he's just stepping in for, because nobody else showed up. Yeah, no one showed up. You got 30%. And then Derz is the sleeper winner, which I think is what you called his ass, 13%. So just saying there might be some yoke on your face or might be a little egg on your face, which is the same, right? I feel like I've been saying that a lot lately. Yeah, if you got egg on your face, eat your humble pie, eat crow, bitch. I don't know if I've heard yoke on your face. Well, no, I added that. It was an egg, and then I added yoke, you know, as it's egg. This is cool. Hey, you know what?

Kyle, do you eat eggs? I eat eggs. Yeah, yeah, I do. Do you eat eggs? Uh, no, well, oh, come on, this is important, baby. Dude, this is pizza, pizza. Adam, I was gonna, I was gonna congratulate Adam. I was gonna say I'm happy that I'm happy that you're happy right now. I think that's very cool that you founded in you to post that and get all the wins. I didn't know it was already there.

No, dude, if you posted it, if you fucking posted that shit, it's biased as shit. You understand me? No, it was already done. And then I posted the results. Oh, okay. So you weren't, you weren't kidding? Yeah, I posted the results. No, it wasn't the, it wasn't live at that point. Oh, really? People weren't clicking through to go vote from your place? No, no, no. I, when I posted that, that's what that was, 470 votes. And then you weren't able to complete it. It was already done. So again, okay, all right, all right, I won't, I'll congratulate you. I completely disagree

with everyone, but. I mean, I didn't retweet this. I didn't retweet this. So we don't know what the, uh, the Mindy Project fans that are just, uh. Yeah. Hey, and I don't think, I don't think it was a, it's like a thing that they're fans of me. I think they're fans of my thick and juicy ass specifically. What picture of your ass were they voting on? There was no photos. This is just them knowing our asses.

From memory. Maybe they do, they could do their own individual research about our asses. But we discussed in the pod that your ass has changed like dramatically. So. It hasn't. My ass is really, really great actually. It has deformed. Oh my gosh. We can't go down this again. We can't. No, I'm not doing it. I'm not. I'm just saying.

We can't dedicate a fourth episode to Adam's ass. No, no, we're not doing it. Definitely doesn't deserve it. This is important, man. I started biking, Adam. I pumped up the tires on my specialized road bike and I'm out there on the fucking streets getting it. I didn't know you had a road bike, Kyle. Fuck yeah, Blair.

I'm out there. I do, I was wondering if you had any luck getting any kind of like free swag from anybody because I am a hoopty motherfucker out there on the road. Sure. Sweatpants and like work boots and I admittedly I'm trying to up my game on. I want to get a pointed helmet. I want to look fucking stupid. Seems doable.

Yes, I agree. I want to look like I'm a professional cyclist. Like, oh, this guy must do tour de France shit. He's wearing all the tights. He looks like a maniac out there. He's got all the garb. But then I'm really only going like 15 miles and pretty pretty laxadaisically. I'm just kind of having fun.

I'm like rocking like my board teenager jackets with like the fucking hood. And it's like very much a drag. It's it's drag. Like I can't get going fast. I'm working harder. It's like a parachute. And I just do not want that. I don't want to work harder.

The answer to your question is no, no, no one's giving me free stuff. Specialized reached out and was like, dude, we thank you for mentioning us on the podcast. We love you. Have your manager reach out. We want to do something for you. And I'm like, am I about to score a free bike? Am I going to get a free bike? No, I didn't.

They just were like, hey, we're big fans. Oh, OK. And then we're like, oh, OK. Oh, that counts. Well, maybe they'll hook me up with some gear. Like all I need is like a fucking shirt. Yeah. No, hey, specialized come come at us.

Yeah. We're not afraid to go on air and just beg for free shit. Come at us. I need a shirt. I need shoes. I need a padded butt pants. You know what I mean? You got to have padded butt pants.

Go to your local joint. Go to your local cycle shop. Yeah, those bike stores need your money. Mr. Support Local Businesses, Anders Holm. Wait, what? Oh, wow. Mr. Support Local Businesses. Yes.

Hey, Kyle, just go to Walmart like the rest of America. Come on. Let's go. Go to Walmart and or go straight to the company and beg. Damn. I have the one to join Adam on this attitude, but I'm not going to do that. OK, cool.

I'll go to my local shop. Yeah, good call. Kyle, where are you going cycling, pal? Dude, I went around on the road. There's a nice bike trail on the side of the road that goes right below the, right at the foot of Mount Diablo. Oh, there we go. How are you pronouncing this now?

Mount Diablo, but I grew up it was Mount Diablo. Yes. That's the way we were trained. Wait, you guys said Diablo? Like, you don't remember this? This is the way. This is the way. This was the real thing.

Oh, I get that. We grew up saying Mount Diablo and a lot of people in the Bay say that. Well, it's the way the like you guys just and we all do this to a point where we will miss, say a word to be funny, but then we miss it that way for so long that that. Do you mean mispronounce? No, I miss that. That is.

Well, to be fair, what's weird is like everyone in the entire county calls Mount Diablo Mount Diablo everyone pronounces it wrong. Yeah, that's like rodeo drive. Like people just were like, we're changing it. Yeah, we're throwing a little panache on it. Because what? That word is rodeo? Well, for sure it's rodeo.

Yeah, what's up? Apparently it can be whatever the fuck it is. So are you saying that Mount Diablo is actually putting a little panache on the word Diablo? Yeah, we're going to keep saying panache. Right. Well, we got to put panache on it. Because as Nash. No, I think there's less Nash.

I think I think there's less Nash with the Diablo. Diablo sounds fucking stupid. Diablo is a cool. Mount's a cool sounding mountain. It's a real word. It's got an extra syllable in there with Diablo. What? You're Diablo?

Diablo. Diablo. No. Diablo. Diablo. Diablo. Three. Three.

Diablo. I've always said Diablo. Diablo. Yeah, but you say things. You have a little extra sometimes. What's my extra sometimes? Well, like when you say thanks, you say thanks, which is you're doing a little spin on it. That's not really an extra.

And that is true. You do say thanks. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. But that's Adam actually. That, I take that as a compliment. So thank you. Adam actually says extra in the word divorce, because you say divorce.

Divorce. Well, he says past tense. He says they're divorce. Divorce? How am I saying it? Divorce. You say sugar and divorce. I do say sugar.

Yeah, you do say sugar. You do at least say sugar. And railroad, I understand. That's a regional thing, because my dad says railroad. He's from Missouri. I don't say railroad. Yes, you do. I say railroad.

No, when you're like, my dad worked on the railroad, and I'm like, well, it's fine. Let us learn. I never say railroad. He doesn't say railroad. Yeah, you do. You've never heard him say railroad? I know. I think it's a railroad.

Railroad. Yeah, so railroad. My father worked on the railroad. He didn't work on the railroad. You never say railroad. You always say railroad. I might say it fast, because, yeah, I'm a quick talker, you know? I'm in a hurry.

You're in a hurry. No, we got, we, hey, you got, let's go. Let's go. I say railroad. Railroad. My puppy worked on the railroad. I have a question. Yes, Blake.

Yes, Blake. You know the word sherbert? Yeah. Yeah, sherbert. Yes, this is a great one. But there's not two R's in the word, right? Isn't it sherbet? You're right.

Yeah, it's sherbet. But everybody in the world says sherbert. I know. The podcast stops. We're all like, we're all like doing the fucking, wait, what? If you look it up, nowhere, nowhere does, if you look it up online, nowhere in the world does it say sherbert. There is no second R. There's no Bert.

So is it like wherever the word is from, is it pronounced like sherbet, like sorbet? Like sorbet. Or is it like a mutation of sorbet? Very possible. But why does every single person on earth say sherbert? Do you think this is like a Mandela effect kind of thing? Ooh. What's that?

What is that? We're in an ultimate, ultimate. Ultimate universe. Ultimate universe. Alternate universe. Oh, dude. An alternate reality. I know what you're talking about.

I watched that episode of John Wilson or whatever where people were like, Great show. Don't you remember? It said, it said Stoffers Stovetop and it's like, No, you fucking idiot. It never said it. No, but it's true. There is shit like that.

Do you know what the Mandela effect is, Kyle? No, I actually, I don't. I'm learning. Oh, God, guys. Well, let's teach you something. Let's go. Let's turn. Kyle's going to get into this shit.

They believe the Mandela effect. There's like this, I guess it started with a whole bunch of people thought that Nelson Mandela died, was like killed in prison, right? And like this whole tons of people said that they remember like the news talking about it and they fully have vivid memories of this happening when he didn't. And he went on to be the president of South Africa. And they, but they believe it. These people believe it a certain way.

And they, they think that like there's a, in the space time continuum that something split off. And the only thing that these people remember about their timeline is this thing happening that didn't happen in the new timeline that they're on. It's the dumbest fucking thing in the world because what they're doing is they're going, no, when I was five years old and I had this memory, I had it exactly. No, it's fruit loops spelled like fruit. And you're like, no, it's two O's.

All righty then. And people are like, no, I swear it was fruit loop. We're in a different time. It's so weird. It's just like why people double down because of their pride. It's miss memories that a bunch of people have together. And there are conventions where they go together. They're like, yeah, the movie quote was this, but all of a sudden I watched the movie and

it's different. But we all said Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. It's like if you build it, they will come. But it's not necessarily, that's not how it was said in the movie. It's like, if you build it, Ray. It's like, Luke, I am your father. Yeah. He never says that.

Right. He never says that. It's like these things that have been distilled down to a nice line that works out of context. And it's like, that's the line because the world says it that way. But when you go back to the movie within context, the line is different. There we go. And you got it. And that's Mandela effect.

That's it. And so these people have found each other. They think they're like onto something. And it really is a collection of people with hope. You know, that's the nicest way I can put this. What are they hoping for? Yeah, almost. They're hoping that like there's another plane of existence.

They're hoping that they're not idiots. They're hoping that they're not wrong because there has to be some bigger explanation other than they're wrong. Right. Well, it's also, I think a lot of people want to believe like when Elon Musk started to say, like talk about like timelines and talk about how like we're in a simulation and shit. I think people just really want to believe that shit. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, because they can't believe how shitty their lives are. Do you think Neo ever sits down and goes, man, this has got to be some fucked up reality. This can't be it. No, he's Neo. And he's out there like, are you referencing the matrix? Let's go. No, I don't think he's, are you?

I'm referencing the R&B singer. Oh, yeah. That's why I thought you were the R&B singer, Neo. And also has he even bitten in, has he even sang a song in eight years? Neo? Would you, after the year of the gentleman, you don't have to do anything. Thank you. Okay.

Hey. Let's go. He's Mr. Independent now. You're referencing a character from the matrix like, homie, that's weird. That's cross-referencing. I apologize. Yeah, because the matrix is kind of about it. Right, right.

Okay, Tyrese. You're stepping on toes, man. Tyrese is, he's killing a, to be fair, isn't, isn't Tyrese's nickname Black Matrix? Is it? Is it? Is it? No, I made that up. Oh, all right.

You could believe that though. Yeah, we could. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities.

Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal.

Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me, because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel. Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart

of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the creatives, the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte the official podcast Thursdays on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. I feel like people will go deep into this hopeful attitude for things like this, because you do think about a space time continuum moving off and being like, oh my god, there are other planes of existence, much like people dive deep into religion, because they're like, there is a different life that parallels. So life after death might just

be jumping over into this other universe. And maybe, you know, maybe they're a professional baseball player in this other life. You don't know. Dude, totally. You get into like reincarnation shit at that point where you're like, well, this is just a level of Buddhism. Does anybody ever go like, oh, there's got to be another life. And for me, it's much worse. I am a fucking toilet liquor in ancient Egypt or some shit. No, for sure, for the four of us, we're pretty pumped on this plane of existence. This is a great plane of existence for the four of us. I could see other people being like, fuck this plane. Well, we are Yolo generation where you only live once, and that's kind of what Yolo might have been the fucking let's go right before let's go shouting

Yolo. I don't know if you screamed Yolo. I don't know if I heard that. Yeah, I don't know if you screamed. Yeah, I think you whispered it. You'd say it to a friend. You'd say it quietly to yourself as you're about to do something stupid. Yeah, really? Yolo. You would text it. You would text it to yourself. Oh, God, I shouldn't do this, Yolo. Oh, God, it's pretty high. It's pretty high up here. But Yolo, right? That's a great way to live your life. I think you're right. I think that religion was the OG, I think that it said Stofer's Stovetop. Dude, totally agree. That's how Christianity started. They were like, no, I saw there was water and then it was wine. It's a miracle. Meanwhile, this motherfucker's like switching it behind his back. You see that shit? They just brought out

the second course. I'm like, here's the wine. This blind dude can see now. I remember him seeing a freaking scape. Yeah, for sure. It was the type of thing where someone tells a story and then another person tells it and then 200 years go by and like 240 people have retold the story in different ways and they're like, no, no, he was walking on water. Yeah, that's what I heard. He's the son of God. He's like, no, it was the son of Bob, dude. It's Bob, not God. It was Bob. I don't know. I swear, I heard God. I swore. Here's what's fucked up as we get into this digital era, right? Hit us with it. Where like everything can be kind of constructed in a way that you're like,

Hit us with it. Yeah, that's a 100% believable photograph. We're fucked. Hit us with it. Oh yeah, information is done. Deep fakes, bro. I mean, right? Because then all of a sudden there will be pictures from 1985 that have stovers over the stovetop. And then who's the idiot? Damn. Maybe I'll have yoke on my face. Yoke's on your face. Is it yoke or is it yoke? Is it yoke? Yoke. Yoke. Yoke. Yoke. It's silent. I say yoke. You say yoke. For an egg, you say yoke. For a what? For an egg. An egg. You said yoke. For an egg yoke. For a yoke. I remember you saying yoke. You said yoke. For a yoke. I say yoke. Egg yoke. Let's go. Yoke. You say egg yoke. You take time out of your day to say yoke

instead of just yoke. I mean, I have to say home. So I say yoke. Fair, fair. That's cool. You've got a difference. Get those L's. Okay. Take your L's. So we look at, we're probably the last generation that's going to see something that's photoshopped and believe it or see a commercial that is like nice and good and done by advertisers and be like, that's real because some company made it. Now, that generation is, it's over. Now you look at a photoshop and you question it. You look at a picture, you question it. You look at an image that might have some information, you question it. But we still grew up in a time when what was printed in textbooks was real. What was on TV was kind of like, that was a real advertisement. So you think moon landing. What the fuck?

Yeah. Kubrick's a genius. But also like explaining, like these commercials or like movies and shit explaining like the CGI is not real to my kid. He's like, are those real dinosaurs? I'm like, no, but like they look real as fuck. That's what you say to them. Yeah. And I say, give me my beer. Give me, don't finish that beer. And that beer over here. Yeah. Growing up quick over there. Yeah. Daddy, what is CGI? Like when they have a car commercial, like a car commercial when we were a kid, it was just that British dude explaining shit while a marble rolled all over it. And now cars are like exploding into pieces and reconforming and like driving up buildings

and stuff. And he's like, can we do that? And I go, no. And he's like, well, why did they show it then? And I go, exactly, son, now give me back my beer. That is actually brilliant. No. We're really breaking this down in a pretty educational way. People are going to leave this podcast going. Read some books. What's that? One more time. Sorry. No, no. Read some books. Read some books. Is that not audible? What is it? No, Blake, admittedly, you came out strong with with the board and we were all for it. And then what is that one? Read some books. Go read a book, you illiterate son of a bitch. Step up your vocab. Is that Eminem? Read a book. Is that what that said? Read a book. It's from Nacho Libre. Read some books. Oh, yeah. Well, it's not very

clear. It's off the board. It's off the board now. Hey, next week, will you just give me a little Don't be missed the South Central while drinking your juice and the hood. Something from there? And guys, ladies and gentlemen, and in between at home, we did not communicate about that. So I'm hard. Rock hard. That's amazing. You got a hard pecker now. Peckers are hard. As hard as it gets these days. Is that what your dad said, Kyle? You got a hard pecker? Yeah, he said that makes my pecker hard. Yeah, didn't your dad ask you if you had a hard pecker? No. Wait, no, I distinctly remember it saying stoffers. How hard is your pecker? Oh, my dad was just talking about tools and said like, that makes my pecker hard. That was the

Mandela effect about Kyle's hard dick. Yeah, right. Did your dad ask you like you asked to look at your hard pecker? What? No, what the fuck? Mandela effect is how hard it gets your pecker. Yeah, dude, that's a trip, man. Yeah, augmented reality, fucking changing shit up, dude. Well, dude, has anybody gotten a what the fuck are they called the thing you put over your face? The Oculus? The Oculus? The Oculus, the Rift? Huh? Does anybody have with the VR goggles? Oh, like, uh, no, no. I can't believe none of us have a pair. I can't do it. It's going to go straight to a crazy porno land. And then it's just they do have Oculus porn. Yeah, that's it's a slippery. It's a slippery slope. I mean, I agree. And then you're always just like spending way too much time in the bathroom

with your Oculus Rift. Like, don't come in. Don't come in. Daddy's going to be in the bathroom for a while. Right. Fucking your iPad. The craziest part of that is you can have the device on with the headphones and this and you could be standing there cranking it and have a whole gang of people watching you and you don't even know. That's probably what you're into, dude. Let's go. You're tapping into my ultimate fantasies. Oh, no, that's the best shit. But there's also those cool videos of like dads getting way into the game and then just like jumping the head first into their television into a ceiling fan. Yeah, that shit is tight. Yeah. Also, I'm like, dude, these people have no spatial awareness. Like they're playing the game, but they know that they're still in

their living room. You lose it. It's super crazy, dude. Have you ever put it on or played a game? It's fucked up. I've only done it one time and it was like, it was they were showing it off at like the Grove and I was like surfing and which is like an outside mall in Los Angeles. And they were like, here, come try it on. And I tried it on and I was just like surfing. I was like, okay, yeah, this is cool. I mean, it looks like I'm surfing. And you didn't dive in and go swimming and accidentally hit the pavement. I just sort of crouched on the surfboard and dive into the concrete. The first time I put it on somebody, it was like a game of thrones thing at Comic Con and they had they were shooting like heat like flaming arrows at me and I fucking

freaked out, dude. Like it was yeah, it was scary. Like hey, that just tells you your body's working. Your senses are intact. That was bizarre. Congrats, you're human. Yeah, they had like wind pumping too. Like that's cool that when the wind's pumping and you're like, I'm fucking feeling this like I did one where you just you like walked out on the ledge looking down over a building or whatever and did not enjoy that. I was like, this is fucking stupid. Oh, like you didn't like it because you were scared because you you were afraid of your emotions. Yeah, because I thought I was going to fucking step off this building. They're like, go ahead, take another step. And I was like, I don't trick my brain. I was like, I can't. I'm not it's that good. Really? Got my peckerhead.

Why'd you say it was stupid? Was that you being like because he doesn't like to feel because I was deflecting about me being stupid, not being able to handle. So you were scared and you might have cried in that moment. But instead of crying, you call it stupid. I was afraid to cry. What's new? He's got no tear ducts. He's going to learn eventually life makes you learn eventually. It was weird. Do you think when you do cry, you're going to cry for like fucking like a week straight? Like, yeah, to make up for everything. You're just going to be like blubbering for it. Yeah, I could see that. I mean, if you want to keep it real, I hope not. That sounds like a real fucking like a terrible breakdown. Yeah, I hope the next time it happens,

it's like 10 minutes. I hope we would step in and kind of bring you out of that deep depression that that you're in. I think we would all have to move back in a house together and live with each other for for six months to bring theirs out of that one. I'm like those those dark sand people in Seoul. Okay, let's go baby. Let's go. Blake did it. But for real, he just he said it. Yeah, let's go earnestly. Yeah, he was he was let's going. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Hey, can we talk about Taylor Swift wearing the bear jacket? Oh, and saying 2020 was weird and hopefully 2021 isn't as weird or whatever her comment was. And she's wearing the bear coat that Blake wore in like, yep, the third episode of workaholics, bitch better have my honey. She's wearing it.

She's saying like stuff about weird, which that was our catchphrase. Let's get weird. Yeah. And then no love, no tag, no mention. We mentioned Tay Tay here on the podcast said there wasn't a lot of overlap. But evidently there is evidently Tay Tay herself listens to the pot. I'm looking at it two ways. And they're both they're both pretty cool. Okay, let's go. Maybe I'm wrong about both. But my first first version is she's seen the show. She's a fan. She's ashamed. Maybe she heard that we talked about her. Maybe she didn't either way. She's repping. The other like side of this coin is that Taylor Swift is who we're talking about. I just said Tay Tay. Yeah, I don't know if I mentioned the bear coat and saying let's get weird is just now like

ubiquitously part of culture and she didn't even realize she was doing it. It's a Mandela effect. And we are Nelson Mandela to her. I do have a piece of intel though. Well, not really. It's just pizza. Okay, Blake, let's go. Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, Intel. I like thinking of like a therapist who like just continually is like, okay, let's go. Let's go. That coat is official bear workaholics merchandise. That's the one they released. Yes, that's what I thought too. It looked like it came from says like workaholics in the hood of the yeah, it says workaholics on that coat. So she definitely watches the show and knows it's from the show or kicks it with somebody who fucking loves the show enough to buy $100 bear coat from

Urban Outfit. You know what? You know what this is? I'd like to talk right now to Taylor Swift because she's listening. She's a fan. Everybody else turn it off. Hey, turn it off. Well, it'll get it'll get quiet if you could mute it just for a minute. I'd appreciate if you're not Taylor Swift because Tata, I would just like to say thank you and we appreciate you and we're all fans. Like I think we mentioned it on the podcast about how I saw her live in concert and I was like, Oh, I get it. You're you're absolutely stunning. You're wildly talented. You deserve all the success coming your way. Tata Swift. Tata. And that's to you. Now everybody can turn it back up. Yeah, everyone can turn it back up. I'm no longer talking directly to Tata Swift.

Bring it back. We're still talking about it. But uh, yeah. All right. All right. And it's and I'm I feel it's it's a huge compliment that her her most recent album was basically about us. Yeah, it kind of was almost entirely about us. Was it? What? Right. Well, have you listened to it? No, I need to listen to this. You have there's like little things you can pick up Easter eggs. A lot of innuendo Easter eggs. Thank you. Wow. Yeah. Very cool. Yeah. The first through last tracks, there's little things about us. Yeah. From the very first one to the very last one, and also the secret ones is almost entirely about us. I think Adam has the best butt. Yeah. There's a lot of that. Oh my gosh. Yeah. You did hear that track. Oh my god. Hey,

everyone else stop listening for just a moment. Turn it down. Taylor Swift, who's got the best butt? Because like, honestly, I don't care about any ball that is out there, whatever Taylor Swift says, that's the one. Keep it real. She's wearing the bear coat. So we know who she picks. Who wore the bear coat? Who she really shouting out here, huh? Okay. Yeah. But the bear coat covers the ass. Maybe she's like, yeah, you got to cover this thing. It's disgusting. She's also wearing pants. So. Oh, come on. Yeah. Keep dreaming. Everyone knows I wore pants in most of the episodes. You did wear pants a lot. You wore them well. Taylor, I know you, Taylor, everybody else turn it down. Everybody turn it down. Okay.

Turn it down. I'm speaking directly to Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift, hey. We never brought them back. Okay, let's go. Oh, okay. Keep it down. I brought them back. I did. I brought them back. The audience was back and then now they're leaving again because Kyle's about to talk directly to Taylor Swift. Turn it down. I'm talking directly to Taylor. Taylor, you have impeccable taste. I know that you have chosen Blake as the best Heine. And I knew that we're soulmates and I do enjoy you and everything about you. Okay, everybody can turn it back up. You're spinning out of control. Hey, everyone turn it back up. What is happening? Yeah. What the fuck? Turn it back up. Yeah. It's cool. Turn it back up,

guys. Welcome back. This wasn't about hitting on Taylor Swift, Kyle. At all. Yeah. I'm married. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not hitting on her. Exactly. So what's happened? What was that? Well, you just said we're soulmates. What happened there? You kind of spun out. What was that? I meant to say, oh, everybody turn it down real quick. I got a correct zone thing that I said to Taylor Swift. No, no, no. Actually, no, I'll do it. Everybody, everybody, if you could just turn it down. I have a message for Taylor and I just want to apologize for Kyle, okay? Don't turn it back up. Let me just say real quick, I'm sorry, Taylor, for saying soulmates. I didn't mean that I'm married. I'm sorry I forgot your hopes up. I meant to say kindred spirits. Thank

you. Everybody can turn it back up. Okay. That's even weirder. You thought you got her hopes up? Yeah. Like she's, she's bummed. Turn it back down, everybody. You think you got her back or hard? I could see Taylor, I could see Taylor specifically fucking with Carl the drug dealer, though. Thank you. Because you know, like anyone that like has like such a, like she has like a goody kind of goody two shoes vibe about her squeaky clean. Like that's her persona at least. Public image. You know, they're always just the baddest chicks. You know, they're always just wild bad, bad gals. Yeah, they like the scuzzes. Or boys, if that's your thing, you know. Yeah. I mean, Dustin Diamond, let's let's take it for a second. Okay. Screech. Screech. Yeah. From say

by the bell, you know, you look at him, you're like, he's a, he's a, you know, kind of a sweetheart, kind of a total to work, like a lovable guy. Turns out psycho psychopaths. Psycho nightmare, man. Allegedly. There's like rape cases against them. Allegedly. I'm not sure. Not willing to look it up, but willing to say here on the podcast. Mass murder. Allegedly. Allegedly. There's like rape cases or something. I'm not going to look it up, but there's something about allegedly allegedly. Allegedly. But that is kind of the thing. I will say like, when people are assholes as their persona, for the most part, they're pretty nice guys. Yeah. Like they put that asshole on as like part of their persona, but then they're really nice people. Right. Right. For the most part. Like

Jessalnick, like Anthony Jessalnick is like a really nice guy. You know what I mean? But his whole stick is that he's like the meanest, most cutting comedian that you can, you can be. Yeah, he's fun. Right. I mean, look at Durs. Everybody thinks he's an asshole. He's a goddamn teddy bear. Yeah. It's true. And you break it down. He is. He's a. Thanks. You're. That's what you're supposed to say. Welcome. Thanks for that. Hey, let's go. And you're welcome. Let's go. Guys, let's go. Are you calling it? Let's go. Let's call it. Let's go. Okay. Hey guys, let's go. Yeah. Oh man. I suppose we should be done, but it's only been 30 something minutes. So, are we talking cake again? Are we going to go down that route?

Cake? What were we doing? We were doing cake versus presence of the United States of America after that. Let's give that 60 seconds for sure. Sure. I have to go pot USA forever. Right. Yeah. Way better than cake. Well, guys, I mean, remember how you guys are kind of getting on me for telling the same stories on the podcast and you guys are like, Hey, man, you already told that story. Like, geez, we got to not tell the same stories over and over. We can't go back and talk about bands again, cake versus president of the United States of America. Like specifically those two. We gave it 60 seconds. We're done. I just, I gave it a 60 second cap because I know where you're coming from. I don't want to talk about it. Yeah. Turn it down. Everybody turn it down

real quick. Kyle's whole thing is like a week later. He's like, now I know what to say. Turn it down real quick. I want to talk to Adam personally. Okay. And so I can't listen. No, you guys take your headphones off. Yeah. If you guys, yeah, bro, come on. Come take them off. Come take them off, man. I'm talking to Adam. Come take them off, man. All right. Let's go. Adam. Yeah. Kyle, I'm listening. I'm right here, man. What's up? There's a certain level of awareness that we have on this podcast, but sometimes when you shit on us, like it makes us look bad in front of everybody. And I don't know that we should do that. We should just kind of like, you know, keep going and move on. And so what are you, are you saying that I shit on you?

Yeah. Yeah, you did. You shit on me. Oh my God. What did I shit on? Oh, I'm trying about it. You shit on all of us, man. You shit on all of us. When you shit on one of us, you shit on all of us. Okay. I need you to remember that. Okay. Everybody turn. Yeah, turn it up. Turn it up. Hey, Kyle, I'm, I was here the whole time. I hate to break it to you, but guess what, buddy? You heard that. Listen to me. If someone shits on you, you let it roll off your back like a duck. Yeah. Copy that. No, I hear that. Okay, Kyle. And I stand in solidarity with theirs. I think you're being a little too sensitive. Copy that. In all fairness, I had no idea he could hear me. Oh, do you need fairness? I just had no idea. I thought I was

speaking to Adam alone. I didn't know that you could hear me when I was talking to Adam. I thought we were having a personal conversation. My bad. I thought you would do what you said. That is your bad. I thought you would respect Kyle's wishes and take the headphones off, but you didn't. You left them on. You heard it. And you heard it. I left them on, but I completely tuned out. I'm not going to let this bit, I'm not going to let this bit live. You're killing a bit. You guys are looking at me. I never took them off and you're pretending like you can't see me. I'm not, I'm not letting this bit fly. Wow. Well, I'm only looking at Kyle right now. I was so focused on Adam. I'm sorry. Laser focused. I was trying to just talk to him. So you guys

had the zoom set up so it's you only see who's talking. Yeah, dude, you can pin a video. Wow, there's a little yoke on your face, brother. Is there a little yoke on your face? I like looking at all of my friends. I got you guys set up. I got the boys on top. I got me in the middle. Got producers and people on the bottom. Nice. I didn't even know you could do that. Make a little smiley face with a nose. Yeah. How are you doing this now? Upgrade your lifestyle. I like looking at all my guys. This is a, this is a zoom lifestyle we're living. How was your guys, uh, holidays? I feel like this is the, is this the first one back since the age days? I think so, right? I think so. Yeah. We did Christmas and New Year's.

You guys are Christian. We took a little, a little break. We took a little break from the pod over the holidays. We could just be with, you know, um, with our loved ones and, and not catch the COVID. Right. Oh, I started so many other podcasts. Oh, you did? Uh-huh. Listening or talking? Uh, talk like I do. I have new podcast friends. Oh, really? Yeah. I got a murder one. I'm not buying it. No, you don't dude. You could barely do this one. Yeah. I'm not going to let this bit go. Don't shit on me. Stop it. Did you mean that? Hey, guess what? Hey, I just sniped this bit right here. Yeah. The fucking bit killer. How does it feel? How does it feel? Can I tell you something? I know exactly how good I am at this and how exactly bad I am. Okay. And I like where

I'm at. I like where I'm living mediocre. Okay. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception,

and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she

feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this. He's gonna come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me, because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel. Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat, and you've got to catch creator

Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the creatives, the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte the official podcast Thursdays on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. I've been watching like a gross amount of TV. I don't have shit to do. I'm so bored lately. I've been watching so much. I watched all of the picky fucking blinders. Watch that again.

I got to watch that. I got to watch. Is it good? Oh, it's so good. You got to watch it. It's awesome. Watch it with subtitles because they're so British that it's hard to understand. Do you go subtitles? Oh, I go subtitles. I went the whole, like I tried like the first like four episodes. I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna, I'm gonna, I've already seen it once. So I already am familiar with how they speak. And this is a rewatch of the whole series. I can make it and then watch four episodes and I'm like, I don't understand what the fuck is happening because I can't understand them even though they're speaking English. But I think I would have a hard time even going to England. Like when, when like British people are talking

with each other, I feel like British people slow it down and like kind of dumb it down, Americanize the way they speak when they're speaking to other Americans. But you get a bunch of British people just talking together. I'm like, oh, I'm, I'm fucking lost here, mate. Did they say mate or is that Australian? They say, I think they say mate. Yeah, I think the Aussies and Kiwis are a little tougher, I think. I'd say Australians are easier. Okay. Really? Yeah. For me. Okay. I went to South Africa and got off the plane and went straight to the, the car rental place, right? And they speak fucking English there. There's an accent, but it's very close to like Australian. It's where are you again? Sorry? South Africa. South Africa.

Okay. South Africa. Mandela effect. Mandela effect. It's all connected. Went to his home, not a big deal. So wait to shout out. Is that where he died? I don't know where he died. Okay. Did he die? No, he hasn't yet. Just kidding. Mandela effect. Mandela effect. So I get to the car rental place and the woman's like, Hey, and I'm like, Hey, and she's like, all right, it won't fit a polo. And I was like, excuse me? Excuse me? And she goes, do you want to fit a polo? And I was like, she's saying polo. I don't know what's happening. And I'm like, I'm sorry. I turned on my wife to be like, help me on here. She's got nothing. I'm like, what are you asking? She goes, do you want a fit or a polo? And you were like, let's go. I go, let's go. Is that what you're

saying? And she slides like the, the like list of cars to me and it's, she's talking about a Honda fit and then a Volkswagen polo, which we know as the golf, but they call it a polo. So she was saying, do you want to fit or a polo? Well, by the way, yeah, well, that's an insane thing to say at the car rental place because neither of those are cars that are rentable here. I've never heard of anyone. We got, we got Honda fit. The fuck is a Honda fit? I don't even know what a fit is. Honda fit is like a little hatchback. There's just like a little exercise studio within the car. There's like bands for you to curl, get ripped. Um, what? Like a fit fitness. Yes. Yes. Because he's got a gym in the back of it. Right. Right. It comes with running. It's because you can fit

your dick in the gas tank, bro. It comes with a ghetto, ghetto. Yeah. But yeah, I'm like, fuck, I got a dip in the dick in the gas tank. That's fucking language. God damn it. You want to fit or a polo? Do you want to fit or a polo? Kyle, you can't understand the Kiwis you work with? I have trouble sometimes. Uh, like they, because it's like, like they speak sometimes. I find it hard when anybody speaks like this, but I find mostly Australians and Kiwis are like mumble. They mumble. Yeah. Across the board that never works for me. And it's just like, what the fuck is going on? But it feels like, I don't feel like I meet a lot of English speaking people that mumble that bad, but I could also be doing that. Like when I'm just speaking like tired,

I might be equally as frustrating to anybody else on planet earth. You know what I mean? And when they're talking to you like that, going, are they speaking to you? Are you listening to like a conversation that they're having? Yeah. Are you spying on people? No, I feel like you cannot like when someone from a foreign English speaking country, because that's what we're talking about here, right? Foreign to us. Foreign to us. Yes. But in English speaking country and they're speaking in their, their English version of English to someone from their same country, I feel like yeah, I always have a hard time understanding fucking anyone that's that isn't from America. And even sometimes if you talk to people from Philly,

it's also confusing sometimes over there too. Yeah, I never under the fresh prince of Bel Air theme song. I'm like, what is he saying? Like, yo, Holmes, smell you later. Smell, smell what later? Makes no sense. Like tell me you got that one. There it is. We've had that. Well, don't be afraid to bust it out, man. Oh, you know, man, that truly strikes a chord in my sense memories. Have you guys seen the mom recently? I saw like an interview with her the other day and she's fully silver hair. Oh, dang, still very, still very attractive. But it was like when you saw

Ted dancing in Saving Private Ryan, the first time he had like the shock white hair and you were like, whoa, back. She looks cool. She looks like she's from the future. I'm gonna have to look that up. I always liked Jill. Jill Taylor. Jill Taylor. Yeah. And what's her real name? Patricia Richardson. Yeah, equally cool. Did she just kick it after? Like, is she just like, I did it and I'm out? Or was she like chasing other stuff? I mean, I feel like that is kind of a cool move when you're just because those sitcom actors back in the day just made so much goddamn money. It's kind of cool to just be like, oh, yeah, hey, I'm I'm good. I'm going to raise my family and buy buy by Hollywood unless you like unless you loved it. But if it was just a job for you, where you're just like,

I'm in my twenties, I'm just trying this thing. And then you hit like, yeah, fuck, yeah, take that money and run, son. I mean, the show ran for almost 10 years, right? Oh, yeah. That was a slam dunk. Yeah. And then that money just kept coming in, right? I mean, those are the types of deals that they got back then they would get like syndication. Yeah, the syndication money was so real. What was the show where like this Oh, is the Brady Bunch, right? Where like the oldest son like actually like got it together with the mom, right? Had sex with the mom allegedly like they had like a thing, right? Wasn't that a thing? I wonder if that's ever happened. Wait, is this Brady Bunch? Is this an episode or is this off? No, this is like behind the scenes like Greg Brady was

like Mackin. The late seasons of Brady Bunch got weird as fuck, bro. Yeah, they jumped the shark and all of a sudden the oldest son started like necking with his mom. Greg is lifting up that little duck tail she has. So you're saying that the oldest son in the Brady Bunch actually the actor Greg actually fucked the mom allegedly. I think that that's the whole I think they like they always wink winked about it to like interviews because they're like the rumor is and they're like, I don't know, did we by the way, even if they're winking about it, it's weird so tight. No, no, no, it's awesome. I mean, sure. Because they're the Brady Bunch. You know, it's like how Bob Saget's all like that's a king. The other day I was paying for an abortion because he was on

like the most family friendly TV show of all time for sure. Yes, that's not his joke. By the way, that's that's Blake's. Well, come on. Open Mike Knight, baby. So what are we gonna do? We can't do that because our show wasn't we go clean. Yeah, we got to go so squeaky clean that people like church guitar stock Kirk Cameron style. Yeah, we got to go Kirk Cameron style. Dude, yes, start making some Christian movies. I would love to pivot to be very Christian. I would love that. I can see that for you. There's always like a super Christian guy that kind of looks like you that's wearing like a scarf that you're kind of rocking a bandana around the neck. This is for COVID purposes. Yeah, for COVID for COVID, even though everybody just has proper masks now and

it's proven that the bandanas don't work that well. But okay, but what news are you watching? It's a COVID look and I feel like there's Christian guys that look kind of like you with an acoustic guitar and every church in America. So I see that's an easy pivot for you. Thank you. Also, don't get it twisted. Also, every you go into a church, into a mega church, there's a thousand little fucking BDI'd me's running around, you know, praising Jesus. Hey, I'm sorry, we have it so twisted about that very specific. Don't get it twisted. Well, I wasn't just shitting on Carl saying, or on Blake saying, he looks more Christian. I don't find that to be shitting. I didn't realize that was an insult.

Yeah, come on. Oh, it is. Praise Jesus. Okay, then I did have it twisted. I guess, shit. Yeah, it is. It's a little bit of an insult. Last time I checked reading scripture is pretty darn cool. Thank you. Thank you. See, Blake is ready for this. Oh, my God. I know. Hey, the Lord has a plan for me, dog. Okay, let's go. Who's ready to praise Jesus on high? Let's go. Yep. I feel like that would work so well in the church right now. You know that the leader of a youth group is for sure screaming, let's go, when talking about, like, let's go. You know, about scripture or about climbing a rock wall.

I mean, did you guys dodge? All right, everybody, are y'all ready to recite the Lord's prayer? Let's go. He knows every hair on your head, brother. Let's go. Let's go. Jesus gets my pecker hard. On the third day, he rose again, much like my pecker. Let's go. Did you guys miss that whole story about Justin Bieber's? I guess it would be allegedly, but like his super fucking cool pastor, dude? Yeah, I saw all that. He's trying to roll with some Hollywood? You can't. Well, that's kind of my character on the Righteous Gemstones. I stole his look of he wears like the dumb big glasses that are pretty popular right now.

Right. Non-prescription style or prescription style? The non-prescription style. I mean, maybe he has contacts and these are just a cool hip pair of glasses that he has, but I'm like, oh, I gots to get me one of those on the Righteous Gemstones and I sport that in a few episodes of it. I mean, have you seen him with this shirt off? Talk about the body of Christ, my God. Jesus gives my pecker more. My God, he's got the usher muscles and everything, bro. He's bowed it. What is his name? Damn, I wish I knew. I'm so glad I don't know his name.

That's like Calvin. I feel like Calvin is a youth minister. Calvin brought us? Yeah, that might be it. Calvin. For shizzle. Is it Antonio? Calvin Antonio. What is it? It's Hillsong is the name of the church. Yes, correct. Carl Lentz. Carl Lentz. Well, that just sounds like a guy you went to high school. That isn't that cool. That's the guy from like the fugitive, right? Who switched the samples?

Wait a minute. You switched the samples. Is this a cable guy scenario? Oh, dude's been setting this up the whole time. Carl Lentz. Where have I heard that name? Carl Lentz, Carl Lentz. Carl Lentz, Lentz, Lentz, Lentz, Lentz. I could see him pulling some shady shit, man. Why? The Lord works in mysterious ways, brother. Well, with a name like Carl Lentz, let's go. Interesting. I like how dark this got suddenly.

Let's go. This is the exact photo I'm talking about right here. Oh, those glasses. You see him with those big ass glasses? That's my character. That's Calvin Gemstone right there. That's what I'm going for. Are your shirts all see-through like that? They do put me in really dumb clothing, which I get a kick out of. But yeah, and he's all over the place. It's weird to me that people want to see that guy be hella Christian.

Yeah, for real. Because right off the bat, I'm like, no. I think it's like people want to... Because there's been a negativity in Christianity for a long time of like, oh, if Christianity's not cool and not hip. So they have this dude who is cool and hip. The Blue Jeans Bible. Yeah, and he's just like, y'all, I'm just like you.

I do TikTok videos and I dance and I wear tight pants and I have these cool glasses that I rock. And people are like, oh, snap, let's go to church on Wednesday and Sunday. I do love that he bridge the gap. He was like, wait a second. There's a whole untapped resource of youth money. That gets my pecker hard. Yeah, he cashed in.

He did it right. I mean, that's a smart business move. I have a friend that is a comedian. I won't put him on last year, but you guys all know him. And he is also a super Christian. And he doesn't ever want to bring up his Christianity in his comedy. But then also like stopped cursing and doesn't tell like dirty stories or anything in his comedy is like really clean.

And I'm like, well, what do you just do it clean and perform at these mega churches? There's I mean, there's a million of these giant mega church. If that's your thing and that's what you like, why not do it and make money? He's like, I don't want to make money off of my religion. And it's like, oh, okay. I don't want to even step in that. That's the whole point. Personally.

The Vatican is like dripping with jewels. Yeah. The Vatican is exactly. Well, yeah. He could also make enough money and then give as much as he wants back to the church if he wanted to. Thank you. Let's go. What do they call it?

Tithing. There it is. Tithing. Okay. Guys, let's go. Yeah. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Should we go? Should we go? Should we perform? Let's go. And I'm serious. When I say this, let's go to church. Should we do wizards at a church?

Let's go. I'm a wizard, bitch. You can't defeat me. And I'm like, oh my god, magic is scary. I used to love midnight mass when you were hella young. You're like, I get to stay out past midnight. They give me fire. It's the fucking shit.

And you're like, you're sipping a little hot cocoa to stay awake. Maybe you put a little whiskey in it. I'm drawing in Bibles. I would just take a Bible and then just draw in it the whole fucking time. Oh, you're going to hell. Oh, dang, dude. You're going straight to hell, dawg. Yeah.

And I'll see you then. Dude, I used to go to church so much. My grandpa built a church out here. Like that was his thing. He built those. You went so much that he built it? You know what? I'm going to build you a church, kid.

You know what? You like it so much. I'm going to crush him off. He built it. That's the last time I was in a church was for his funeral. Like I was in the sanctuary that he built. And it was like, whoa, like this is two generations removed. And it's just like he put the stained glass up.

He built the sanctuary for people to worship in. And I'm telling dick jokes. Come on, man. You're staying in glass. Yeah. Like it's just like so weird. It sounded like his life was pretty boring, honestly. Not to shit on your grandpa, but your life is fucking way better.

Too late. Oh, oh, yeah, I don't know. I don't, I mean, it's just two different ways of thinking about what your goals are in life. Yeah, it's just like, you know. I like your life better. I vote for Kyle's life. He was a hella funny dude.

Allegedly. I don't like, he was allegedly funny. He just did his act hella clean, you know. Can he text Adam Sandler right now? Exactly. He said the funniest thing to me. He also had a great joke. That was just hilarious.

When we went to Mexico and we were Port of Ayarta and we went in and we were all swimming and then we were wearing swim shorts. And you know how swim shorts have the net in it and stuff. Sure. We went into the bathroom and I was standing in one urinal and he came in and stood at the next urinal and he was just like, he's just mumbling to himself. And he's like, where did I put it?

Yes, yes. That's pretty good. Grandpa bit for the win. And I was like, oh man. And that's funny because like small cocks were in your family. Yeah. Oh. All right.

Yeah, it was great. I get it now. Let me know what path I should be running on for the next 10 years. Embrace the small dinks. If you got it, make fun of it. Make fun of it, you know. Yeah. Embrace the mold.

Yeah, embrace it. Yeah, it's all good. That's a good one. It's all good. Yeah, it was hilarious. Because I mean, nobody made small cock jokes at that point. Everybody was like, oh, my dick's so big.

My dick's so big. Everybody. Yeah, it was all big Johnson jokes. Everybody was wearing the t-shirts of the dork with the huge dick, big Johnson. Yeah. And I was like, grandpa, that's it. You're like, that's it.

And that's when you decided to get into comedy. You were like, wait a minute. Small cock comedy. Small cock comedy, grandpa. I could make a career out of this, grandpa. And he goes, I bless you, my son. And then father, son, holy spirit, did you and then screamed, let's go.

Let's go. Do you think you could say that joke to a complete stranger? Like out of urinal? Why did I put that thing? I think it would work. Do you think they'd be like, uh, what? Or do you think they'd laugh and be like, this guy was funny? It depends on how cool that dude is.

If it's, uh. Is he cool if he laughs or is he cool if he goes the fuck out of here? Urinal protocol is so, it goes either way. You got to read the room. You got to read the room. It goes either way. It depends. If you're, if you're in a bar and it's like every, and everybody's pretty drunk

and it's like kind of a rowdy bar and you say something like that, I think it'd be funny. I think people would be like, ha, ha, ha. Like where did I put this thing? I think it'd be funny. If you're just at the airport or something and like it's just you next to like some, you know, 60 year old businessman and he's like, excuse me. What if you go, what's that?

I got to get me one of, if we turn to the guy and go, man, I got to get me one of those. How do you think that goes? No, you can't do that. That's not going to work. That's not going to work. Probably, I would say 90% of the cases that would not go well. Yeah. You go, hey, you want to trade?

And he goes, excuse me? And he goes, oh, I want to call. Yeah, so high, so high. Dude, remember that was the thing. Like you say some really weird shit on set. If it doesn't fly, you're just like, I was just running lines. Yeah. I was talking to myself, running lines.

Sorry. What did you just say? I'm running lines. Sorry, just running lines. Just running lines. Are you shooting that scene today? Because I don't see that side. Oh, no, from another thing that I'm doing.

No, it's actually for this commercial. I'm writing this thing that we're going to, I'm developing it. It's developing. The move would be, you'd go to the bathroom and whatever, at a bar or something like that. And it's super busy. Bunch of people are in there. He would just, if he was leaving before you, he would just turn the lights out and fucking peace out and everybody's fucking.

Yes. Okay, all right. Somebody. And it's like everyone, you become a community so quick where it's like, okay, whose hands are dry? Like if you've already washed, you want to turn it on for me? Or like, if you haven't gone to the bathroom yet, are you the guy who does it? I'm out, man.

I'm taking a shit. So if somebody could help me out. Exactly. It's a whole thing. That's a pretty solid prank for your friend. And that's a, that's a good one. I love it. Yeah.

That is a good turning the lights out in places. The power also like gets so much power. One of the best moves to do, like when you go to the bathroom and you see your buddy in the bathroom and he doesn't know that you're also in the bathroom and you go up behind him and just reach around and grab his cock. Right, right, right, right, right, right. And you start yanking it. Wait, and you start yanking it.

What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you lock the door first? Let's go. You invite this family to watch for sure. Yes, right, right, right. Yeah, walk me through this.

When I do, I, I squeeze, I cut off the stream and then I let it go back on. Yeah. And then I do it to like a beat. I go, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And then we start singing the hands of my eyes can see by Buster Limes. Hands of my eyes. I love that. If you want to putty with your putty with me.

Yeah. You say potty. You don't say potty, you say potty. I love that. That's the, that's the punch line. Everything else before that was just the setup. That's the punch line is when you get to the potty. If it's a pee where the potty can be.

You guys love that prank, right? Yeah. So much power in that one. That's a good prank. I've never felt more powerful. No, I was going to say, well, I was going to say not that, but then I went down that road. So what were you going to say? Yeah, that was an interesting little route.

You went down there, buddy. Allegedly. Allegedly, I don't do it. Allegedly. You go and you like push your buddy into the urinal a little bit. Yes. What the, oh, okay. Kick him in the ass.

Yeah. Or you like kick the back of their legs a little bit. So their knee buckles and they're like, oh, oh. Or you just pee on their leg. Or you reach around and you grab their cock. You just kind of slide your hands up their shirt. You start to play with their neck. And you slide your hands up and down on the shaft and you're like, got you.

Or do you like pants them? What was that? All the way down, you start to eat their pants. Oh man. That's an insane prank, dude. That prank is wild, bro. And they put their hands up on the wall and like, they like it, right? That's because the prank is, they start liking it.

And then the ultimate part is that they end up doing it to you later. That is the ultimate part. Oh, that's a prank or that you got to have a prank or with your friends. That's such a prank, dude. Oh, man, you need a prank show. I'm starting to have workaholics flashbacks already. Just porno prank show. Classic.

And porno bloopers. Allegedly, allegedly, we don't do that stuff. Oh my God. All right, all right, all right, all right. Any takebacks, apologies or compliments, guys? Well, you know, even though it's fun, I kind of take back going down that weird road just a few minutes ago. But you know, it was worth it.

And I thought it made it for a fun ending to the podcast. We're all laughing just because it's... Yeah, let's step out of character quickly. It seemed pretty fun and seemed pretty exciting. I think we're all giggin' pretty hard. Yeah, and you guys at home, you know, we're being silly. Obviously, we would never do this. It's ha ha's.

It's funny. It's gigs. It's, I was looking for the word, it is ha ha's. It is ha ha's. It's gigs. Ha ha's and gigs. It's gigs. It's just jokes.

It's riffing. It's LOL. Riff dogs. We're looking to give all y'all the LPMs, you know. And we want you to really, when you listen to this podcast, we want you to sit back and think, let's go. Damn right. You know, I want you to feel that.

Get you some. I want you to get some. Get some. Any compliments, take backs or, you know, put downs or giveaways or what it was. Oh, giveaways, epic slams. Epic slams. Ultimate slams.

Ultimate slams. I'll give a compliment. Kyle, the painting in your background there. It was painted by your wife, correctly? My wife. It's fucking sick. Yeah. Is there a story?

Is there a story that goes with that? Give us a story. Give us a really detailed story about that. My wife is an abstract artist. And this was something that probably, the interesting thing about her artist, she puts probably like six paintings on one painting. So she'll finish one.

I'll be like, that's great. That's fantastic. Then she'll just paint right over it and put another one on it. I'm like, that's fucking gorgeous. And then she does it again. She really, it's therapeutic for her. That's beautiful.

Um, but yeah, I like it. It feels like it looks like a magic eye to me. I feel like it's a magic eye of the Wu Tang W. Oh, I see that. Now that you say that, I see the Wu Tang. Yeah, I see the Wu Tang. Yeah. There we go.

Also, it could be yoke on your face, you know. As Ders would say, yoke. Yoke. It'd be yoke. Yoke, yeah. My folks. These are my folks. Folks.

I'll make sure to pass the compliments onto her, Anders. That is a really nice compliment. And I would like, I would like to compliment Adam and his epic win on his butt, according to that poll that was put out there. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that.

And that's a, you're being a big man. You're being a big man for, for realizing that the majority of people disagree with, with you. Four hundred and seven. I'm not saying that I agree with them. I'm just very happy that you're happy. Four hundred and seventy people. Not all of them disagreed.

I would say two hundred. That's not a lot. More than, more than half agreed. Yeah. If I could keep it real, that's not a lot of people. Oh, it's definitely more than just you. Small sampling. Yeah.

No, that's true. And let me give a compliment to Adam real quick. For knowing that four hundred people is more than Kyle. Yeah. Four hundred and seventy. Yeah. But yes. It's a math.

Yeah. I'm good at math. Math guy. Yeah. Well, my choices are normally seen by, you know, seventy plus million people. So. Oh.

Will we talk? Your what are seen by what? My choices. The one movie he did were seventy plus million people. So. In three days. Kyle, this is, this is not becoming of you to talk this way. I'm going to be coming.

Okay. I know. I know. Don't be that guy. I'm sorry. It's not me. It's like I, I'd like to take back my fucking backhanded compliment to Adam. Uh, okay.

Oh, so it was a backhanded compliment. Wow. I thought it was real. Yeah, it was. I went into it knowing that it was a backhanded. I went into it trying to slam you. I tried to combine an epic slam and a compliment. Oh, so it was a slam.

It was a condescending epic slam compliment that I want to take back. So just set it up as an epic slam because we've established that now we can epic slam each other at the end. But an epic slam is like really good when you turn it from a nice compliment. So I was trying to combine the, you know what you should have done right at the end, screamed, let's go. And then say epic slam. There you go.

Yeah. Right. Yes. Okay. Okay. Copy you. And then started saying, this is important. And then we're like, oh, it's okay.

Yeah, and then the podcast is done. Yeah. And Adam, I will compliment you on your win. Uh, you know, the people have spoken, 479 people have spoken. You won. Congratulations. Thanks. And also listeners, if you could turn it down for a second.

Uh, this, this is for, this is for Taylor Swift. I'd love to give you a compliment. She's still listening. She didn't turn it off when we're talking about that hilarious prank where you, uh, stroke another race car. Right. Well, I saw you wearing the bear coat and you wore it well. Thank you.

She did. Yeah. She looks good in that bear coat. And I want to apologize for Blake's creepy voice there. Just say it normally. You don't need to whisper it like that to her. It was intimate. Guys, this is a, this is a great episode.

I'm, I'm, I'm glad we, uh, we stuck this one to the wall, put this one on wax. I wonder, is there, is it, what can we do to just end it on a little bit? Better of a note. There's gotta be something, right? Sometimes there isn't. Which note? I've been playing the piano a lot. We could end it on like a C major.

That's a normal note. Sorry. You have, do you have a piano right there or is that just a note joke? Oh no. I was just going to use my voice to make the, I was just going to say, there's a note joke and I could say like, we're done and that's roughly a C major. Ooh, but definitely don't do that because that didn't sound good though. Yeah.

Well, I'm not even, that sounds like an F. All right. F minus. And I'm back. Guys, this has been another great episode of. This is important. This is important. Important.

Bye. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app,

Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app,

Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington DC. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom.

Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.