This Is Important - Ep 251: Gavin. Rossdale.

Episode Date: June 3, 2025

Today, this is what's important: Anders birthday, young people, AI, Top Five, viral people, gluten, red light therapy, pain, Bottle Rock festival, politicians, action heroes, & more.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important bottom line critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This Is Important? I deep throated some hot dogs and I was so good at it. Who was that nobody that just made me come standing here? The goddamn huge fucking flawless dude. He's the perfect meat mountain. Buckle up.

Yeah, baby. Woo! Yeah, baby! Happy birthday to you! Honours home, everybody! Thank you, Adam. Thank you, Blake. Wow, dude. How does it feel to celebrate, what is it?

69, dude. 44! Happy birthday to you! 44! Yeah! 44! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Wow, dude. How does it feel to celebrate, what is it, 69, dude? 44!

Happy birthday to you. Yeah. 44, dude? Damn, you're old as dirt. Do you think all of us are going to make it to 69? Dude, I hope so. I was thinking about it in the shower the other day. I hope. I hope. I make it to 69. I hope we all do.

You were thinking of living to 69 in the shower? Yes. Why, why? You know, I was more thinking about how we had a character on Workaholics called 69 Man. Wait, did we? Who was that? Who was that?

It was, I don't know what episode it was, but we like asked the dude how old he is, and he says he's 69, and we flip out, and we're like, oh, you're 69, man. Yeah. 69, man. And I was just like, God, that is good television right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, boy.

Man, our show is so good. Our show is so good. I might have to do a re-watch. God damn. Yeah, we should go back and re do a rewatch. God damn. Yeah, we should go back and rewatch. You know what would be fun? Maybe we do a companion podcast.

That would be fun. And we just do a rewatch. That would be fun. That could be really fun. Look what we just did, dude. We just gave ourselves another job. Holy shit. And do we do it as characters who've never seen the show before and aren't us?

Essentially talk about how good and funny it is? Yeah, we do like super in-depth character dives and then we watch it. But we dress as like gen alphas and we're like, we're gonna watch this show. We heard it's funny, our dads used to watch it. We're like, I hear it's Ohio, but it's funny our dads used to watch it. We're like I hear it's Ohio But it could be skibbity toilet. Yeah

What the hell II okay two minutes in feeling pretty rizful My ribs Tons of Riz on this guy. It's all Riz up I feel like the Rizler when I got to the end of the episode this one's five booms You guys have seen these podcasts with like tweens, right? Dude, the food guy. Food boys, baby. They are so much better than us at podcasting.

It's embarrassing. It actually really kind of disappoints me because they're so talented. Wait, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm just talking about like random like kids that have like microphones and sit around on like the couch in the basement They're like, what'd you think of the new? fucking Star Wars movie

You're probably talking about these guys. Yes. It's like these three kids. Okay. No, I think there's five of them Oh there you're right, but they're like fully articulate youngsters Yes, and they they these these kids sit around and they just talk about food. It's very food based. And they're like, so what is your favorite burger? Yeah. Uh, I would say McDonald's. McDonald's is my favorite burger.

Right. Have you had Five Guys? Yeah, yeah, I think this is them. Have you had Five Guys? Uh, yeah, Five Guys is pretty good. Yeah. Have you had five guys? Oh, yeah, five guys is pretty good. Yeah. It's and that's all it is. And it's infinitely better than anything that we've ever done.

It's incredible. It's so pure. What's crazy is as an adult, you're like, very bored by their conversations. But like for them and kids their age, they're like, these are the conversations they're having. Adam's just like fucking chomping at the bit what like what they're gonna say next. The things we talk about are really entertaining and important right? I mean we're obviously very this is all very important but yes yeah yeah we're

like a news we're basically a news fucking channel dude. But you know sometimes I feel like when you listen to us it we get so heady and we so get in the weeds with these topics that you need to reprieve from that. And so you go over to the Food Boys and you just hear them talk about their favorite types of cheese and what they like cheese on. Yeah.

I think it's well established that you don't even really get our episodes until three, four, five listens in. Oh, yeah. Of the listens in. Oh yeah. Of the same episode. Oh yeah, it re-listens. It's very dense. It's very, very dense.

Super heady, super dense. It's dense in a way that other podcasts aren't dense. Yes, we're very specifically dense. Exactly. Oh, good for you! But those guys, those guys are surface level and I feel like they appeal to so, oh they're incredible. They're so good. And what is crazy is their podcast gets, I want to say hundreds of millions, it's them and Rogan right now. Battling for supremacy. I believe in my world, according to my algorithm, that's what's happening.

No, you're right. You are right. You are right. Smartless has dropped. They are making private jet money, their own cruise ship type money. And what are they going to do with it? Imagine the food they're going to have on. Cocaine. No, no, no. These guys are done. Oh, they're already on that? One of them will die before 20. I hate to be this guy, but one of them is going to die before 20. On 420? One of the food boys?

You know what, what sucks, we're not giving them flowers. No, not at all. These are children. We're not trying to put this on them. What the hell? I'm warning them. Smoke weed every day. Hey, Ders is really wise. He's giving some wisdom on his birthday You're saying they're making PJ money who's in charge of this money, man? Yeah. Yeah, that's true

You think their dad who's doing a bunch of cocaine? This is a tale as old as time these parents better be reeling them in That's all I'm gonna say their parents are pocketing all the money. They're not getting any of the money that doesn't help Do you guys get these sort of videos? These algorithmic sort of... Is this what your algorithm is pushing you? Doesn't just mean white power? No, that's loose butthole. No, I'm just going like... He's Italian.

I'm not doing a white power or a... I'm just saying, talking with my hands. Come on. Where they say it's like, you know, some big star, Timothy Chalamet made $18 million this year. And then it shows an unboxing video kid. And he made like $48 million this year. And then it shows, you know, whatever, Sydney Sweeney.

And she made $12 million this year, whatever it is. I think our algorithms are different. Mine is just Sydney Sweeney. Wow, dude! And then it shows like another little kid that you've never heard of and you're like, they made $87 million. Aren't you a fucking idiot for being an actor?

And then essentially it's make automated YouTube posts and you too can make hundreds of thousands of dollars a month, do you guys get that at all? What is my algorithm telling you? I know. I think... It's telling you to cash out, brother. Look, I think that you have different aspirations

that seem to be monetary and... I guess so. You give a fuck. Yeah. I guess. Yeah, dude. And maybe it's time to start switching over, embracing the future.

There's new ways. But also these kids, their audience is their age, so it's a different way to monetize themselves. Whereas our demo? We didn't have that when we were seven. We couldn't just unbox videos. Well, we're between it. We're between demos.

Ah, damn. Like, we came in to make movies and TV as they were dying. And then- Yeah, that was stupid of us. When the internet took off, we had already like made the leap and invested in TV and movies. Yeah.

And guys, we're fucked. We're screwed. We're so fucked. That's why I stand. That's why we're miserable. That's why we're dead broke. Everybody's fucked. AI.

AI. This is, I'm glad we're talking about this. This is important right here. talking about this. This is important It really is this is a news podcast so that shit's important. Thank you dance very very heady very dense I will say the new Google. It's unreal go go go wait. Well the new Google video AI I don't know this yeah, there's a there's a video of these two people. They look like just people. They look exactly like people. Like humans.

Like humans. Human people. Human people, Blake. Are you following? I'm not. I'm just making sure we're on the same page. OK. He's had too many Sierra Nevadas.

Yeah. And they are good. They're going down smooth. I love that green can. Yeah, so they look just like that. And then you're able to put in the prompt, like they're on a train in the 1930s and they're talking with each other and then they're, you know, in the future and then they're wherever and it looks perfect. It looks perfect. It looks real.

Looks real. Yeah. Like you write a script, they say the words, the words they are saying become expressed on their face also and like their body language. So like you can say like, have them talk about white supremacy and they'll just start doing this, Blake. So like, that's something you would do, right? What? No, I'm gonna make them fuck each other for sure though.

Come on. That's the ultimate white supremacy. Does it turn into a porno immediately? Dude, well, and you know Google, you know Google's not gonna allow that, which sucks, but there's going to be offshoots. As soon as it becomes possible that some fucking guy in the valley can just-

We'll see, Adam, I know where you're going. We gotta get ahead of that. We gotta be the poster boys for that. We should talk to these guys. We got to be the leaders of gay eye. The poster boys? I don't know. Yeah. We got to be gay eye where you can make all your people. Gay eye? Did you just say gay eye? Did you say gay eye? Yeah! I did! He did and he deserves points for that. Wow. Yes! Points! Why? Thank you. Hey Blake, why gay though? Because it's like, it's like Okay, how many text threads

are you on where it's just like you and your boys and how sick would it be if you could load up videos of you just blazing your bros? Like that's cool dude Like as a joke, like I load up you and Ders and I'm like I found this video of you guys fucking each other. This is fucking cool, dude. Yeah, that's cool. That's funny

You give us like micro penises. Yeah stuff like a double super thick double dick. Yeah Well, I mean for sure for sure now it's fun It's fun You're having with your bros now that you stepped it out Uh and because of how dense our podcast is now that I really see it. You'll get it on the fourth listen brother trust. I understand what you're saying but I think there is maybe more of a market for just straight but science. It's a slippery slope. Or both you could do whatever. I disagree. I

disagree. I think I see where Adam's coming from but just back to what Blake's talking about. I do think it's Adam's coming from but just back to what Blake's talking about I do think it's promising but it's also slippery slope because Thank you. How much time are you spending like developing these videos of you fucking your boys? Yeah, and what effect does that have on you like the next time you see them in person and then Dap them up Yeah, like wait, I'm already kind of there with like and also the way Blake said blazing That really? That piping out your boy. Oh God

We're going to commercial Right here, let's keep it locked no, dude I'm just I'm already there Ders with what you're. Like, when you watch so much videos of like, your friends like, having sex with each other, it starts to infiltrate the way you see them. I'm already kind of there with like... I can imagine. I'm sure you are already there. With like, face swap.

Because there's lots of face swapping. And I'm like, I'm taking images into face swap. Yeah, dude, if you look up Adam Devine, like, fucking a dude or something, which I'm always doing. Right. Allegedly! I'm always doing. Right. Allegedly. I'm always doing that, but it will pop up. Adam's like, I don't understand my algorithm.

It's all like, see, who's the richest? And then all of a sudden me getting wiped out by dudes. Yeah, getting blazed. That's not your guy's algorithm? People have sent me like weird gay porno and I've looked it up. It's like Adam Devine porno and you I have those images saved. I'm not joking

Yeah, see and why do they have them or why there where where did they get them? How'd they find them? Well, it was just a face swap. Yeah, it's just a little face swap. Is there a link you can look that up? I have I have them saved from a long time ago, but it's yeah, it's a Google away for sure Yeah, they're very funny. I'm sure you guys are also Let's look up funny Yeah, it's a Google away for sure. They're very funny. I'm sure you guys are also... What's like a... Funny. Durs. Sounds awesome.

Hey, well, I'm gonna warn you right now, Adam. There is a gay porn star named Blake Anderson. So do be careful with that one. Careful not to have too good of a time. Okay? I mean... There's nothing... I just wrote gay.

Maybe that's not explicit enough. Because then it's... I just wrote Anders Holm gay gay and it's just a lot of photos of your face It's just it just said yes. Yeah What do you write porno porno sir he said uh-huh Okay. Wow, you are you're in some some murky waters. I wish You are you're running some some murky waters. I wish There's not it's it's it's you getting your asshole eaten out in that one movie by the dog. Oh top five Yeah, yeah, but I'm not seeing any yeah, I'm not seeing that was just ass play that was straight ass play though Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, but he turned out to be gay though

That was the whole thing is like she caught me with a guy and then she explained it. She's like, one time he did like me to eat his booty out or finger it and then she put like hot sauce in my asshole. Son of a gun. Can't they just give us a win? That was a good movie. So funny. What was that movie called again? That was a good one.

Top five. Top five. It was very funny. There's a very funny reveal in that movie. Oh my God. Oh, yeah, there was Legendary. Yeah, I was like blown away. I did not see it coming at all I don't want to spoil it, but if there's a reveal that just your jaw drops I feel like not enough people saw top five

Which I really sucks. I agree Cedric is very good. Cedric the entertainer. Do you get stopped at all ever for that movie? Cedric is very good at that. Cedric the entertainer. Do you get stopped at all ever for that movie? Um, you know the last time it was brought up was when I just spoke at my high school graduation. They were like, he's in this, he's in that. They were like, he's in top five. And I was like.

Oh, I love that. I love that. Sick. Evanston knows how to rap. That's cool. They get it. And I was like, yeah, I guess you could bring up the movie where I get my asshole filled with hot sauce you could do that

You imagine did they mention game over man, or they skipped over that one? Skipped over game over man. Yeah, the one you were the one you wrote I'm sorry weird How long how did that go that was recently right?'s a couple weeks ago went well, thank you for We talked about it on the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Did we I'm almost well. I like to say what we touched on it We touch touch the I'm sorry. I've only listened to that episode twice. I gotta get on my fourth one to really remember Yeah, it's too dense. You gotta listen at least four times. Yeah, that's right. Okay. I'm starting to remember now

Did you guys listen to it? Your speech? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no It told me there was one site for it. Gay Eye. I'm telling you. GayEye.com. So here's the question. If a video of me getting blazed by my friends went wildly viral and made me more known or more famous. Sure. Yeah. Than anything I've ever done.

Great ass! And then I had to do a graduation speech. Do you think they'd be like, you might know him from this movie, that TV show. You definitely know him from blaze by his homies. Give it up. And that's when the crowd. I don't know if they would mention it, but I think like it'd be like a lot of knowing glances and a lot of like the principal maybe dapping you up one too many times. You're like, right. Like, and we don't need to bring this up, but. But we will.

When, at what point do you think Kim Kardashian cleared the bar. Okay. Friendship. Of the sex tape not being the thing people think about first. How, you know, that's an interesting stat. I think it's all monetary.

I think it's all monetary. And by cleared the bar, I mean Ray J's super long stick. His long jump stick of a cock dude. Or pole vault. I think it's all monetary. I think once she became like worth 250 million dollars or whatever the number was like some hundreds of millions of dollars then people suddenly gave her the pass. What position on your list of people? Yeah. When in the algo does she start popping up? Yeah.

Not for the porno stuff. Not for pornos. So you have to make a quarter billion dollars for everybody to think you got absolutely, what just fell? Did something fall? I'm still going to send it. Uh oh. Uh oh. He's losing his wits. What just, what smells like toast? I'm still gonna send it. Uh oh. Uh oh. He's losing his wits. He's losing it. What just, what smells like toast? I'm 44!

He didn't make it, he didn't make it to 69. Fuck! Yeah, I guess you gotta make a quarter billion before people forget. Yeah. You can really dome out a true pipe. Well, yeah, those videos were pretty legendary. She was. You know what?

I will say, I think it's to scale. I think her performance in her video was so good. It's hard for people to forget what they saw. I mean, she mastered it. But my point is, we have though. We're past it. We're past it. We have.

We are because she did make so much money. But if like I dropped a sex tape where, you know, I did my normal performance, I think it would be forgotten pretty quickly I think you're being self-deprecating. Yeah, I Are we doing a sack cam on you yeah, I agree I agree with Blake I've been just through a very thin wall as Blake's fucking and it doesn't sound like anything See ya. It's not like anything

Okay, come on come on dude. It doesn't sound like much in water you It's not about sound some people. Oh really throw it down very silently very silently like it's like kind of a kink Yeah, I feel like you do hear some noises. I don't know if it's exactly. Blake puts a hand over his own mouth and is like... It's so silent you kind of don't hear anything happening. Right. It sounds like sleeping. Right. That's weird.

Yeah, when she moans it sounds like snoring. It's really weird. Sleep attack. Good to know. It sounds like snoring. It's really weird sleep attack It sounds like Blake whispering okay, and when we leave the room just say that we have sex Do you promise me yeah, okay? I promise no way bro when I yo when I fuck when I fuck a chick bro It sound like sleep apnea dog I Put her on the CPAP bro. Don't worry about that. Oh, I don't even I don't even know what that means exactly She walks out the bedroom like your foot's asleep. Yeah, bro tingly. I leave it

Take a whole body like her whole body's asleep cuz she definitely just took a nap It's like I fell asleep on her arm, dude That we had sex and then we go out and be like, oh, that was really good. I just had really good sex. Actually, tell Adam. Tell Adam. What does Hawk Tuah have to do to not be Hawk Tuah anymore? Like when she gives her graduation speech. Right. I think she's gonna have to make to not be Hawk Tua anymore? Like when she gives her graduation speech.

Right. I think she's going to have to make hundreds of, it's like the step me outside girl, how about that? Catch me outside. Step me outside. Oh yeah, it's science. Yeah, catch me outside girl, how about that? I think like, I mean, she still is that,

but that has worn off because she's now worth hundreds of millions of dollars and it's this is an only Onlyfans thing right? Yeah, I do believe she made her money that way. She's also a hip-hop artist. She's also got cancer Right, what? I mean it hold up. I think she's got some situation. Well, she's doing a lot, but don't I was gonna make a joke That's really sad She's doing a lot. Adam's like, I was going to make a joke. Don't, don't, don't make a joke. She's doing a lot. Don't make a thing. That's really sad. Adam, you were going to say about this young woman dealing with cancer?

What is her name? Her name is like Vicky or something? What is it? It's Woe Vicky. No, not Woe Vicky. That's a different girl. Cash Me Outside is... What's her name? Bad Barbie? Bad Baby. I always say Bad Barbie? Bad baby. Yeah, I always say bad Barbie, I don't know.

Yeah, me too, bad baby. That's okay, that's kinda bad. Okay, yes, so now she's just bad baby. Yeah, well. And she's no longer Catch Me Outside, how about that? Is she? You lose! I think so, I think she's gone past it.

I think you are right. You are right. I think at 44, I think I'm outside of the demo, where people you would definitely know when you say bad baby. But if you said bad baby, I'd go, who is that again? And you'd say, cash me outside. Cash me outside.

How about that? How about that? Yeah. What a legend. Has anybody ever caught her outside? She's earned more than $50 million, which was initially met with skepticism. But then she proved that she earns like almost

two million, uh, $1.5 million a month on OnlyFans. Right. I mean, and what is she doing on OnlyFans? I don't know. I've never looked at OnlyFans, but I haven't either. I haven't either. I refuse. This makes me want to go like, well, what is the big whoop-dee-doo? But you know what it's going to be? It's going to be like, you do it, and then it's hard to cancel, because you probably have to read an email. Oh, it's like a gym membership. It's been all that time.

Or something. And then suddenly, you've looked at a few different pages, and suddenly you're paying like $1,500 a month. That is a good point, Adam. You're roped into like a you know $1,500 a month that is a good point Adam you're roped into like a peloton type thing for some girls and shoot grapefruit out of her coochie yeah well pink bong balls grapefruit that seems worth it that seems worth it what is this $28,000 a month you're spending on some website. And Adam, this is what you say.

You go, honey, honey, she has cancer. This is a foundation. You go, I know how this looks. I know how this looks. She's got cancer, okay? And maybe you wanna stand by the side and watch this happen to a young woman with a near perfect rack. I'm not gonna stand by the side and watch this happen to a young woman with a near-perfect

rack? I'm not going to stand by. We can't stand by. I'm not going to let it win. College, the kids don't need to go to college anymore. AI, it's different. We're not saving this money. There should be a different OnlyFans that is specifically with-

Only Cancer. Yes, that they all have cancer. Only Cancer. So then you could go- As long as there's a link for gay Of course this is better than the dark web. This is the light web. This is this is this the future here cuz then you're just Supporting you're just supporting People with cancer, you know, yeah. Hey Luigi man. Gioni. Yeah Maybe this is what you should have done instead of fucking shooting somebody in the back and now you're in jail

No, you're in jail. Yeah, bozo getting blazed by your friends He's probably yeah, he's a hot commodity What's the likelihood of him currently being blazed? It's pretty high. You think he's getting tunneled? Ten thousand. And by the way, he's jacked. He's jacked, right?

He's hot, dude. So he probably thinks he's going to survive. No. You're not going to survive. You're not. Those are sheer nonsense. And we've all had the fantasy of like, well, I would just, I would, if they put their dick in my face, I would just bite their dick off.

Nope. No, you wouldn't. It's science. You wouldn't, dude. You wouldn't do you wouldn't because you do that you just they make Swallowed your eyes. Yeah, that there's and there's that too. They're gonna make you swallow it whole I don't hold it in there for a while Wow Yeah, don't know that I'd be so good at it. It's a shame. Huh? It's a bagel. It's a shame It's a shame that you will never cut to commercial cut to commercial There you go brother we're out of God and we're back and we're back there it is oh, thank God oh, thank God

Yeah, that's wild, dude You're just talking about You were just talking about how good you'd be at sucking dick though. I would be. I would be. Yeah, I think we covered that real early on in the pod. We could revisit it. I feel like on Workaholics, you blew something quite zealously. I deep throated some hot dogs and I was so good at it. The hot dog just slidid the glizzy slid right

down the throat and that's why if you write Adam Devine getting blazed by his homies a lot of things pop up yeah it's not you getting blaze pizza with your friends no it's blaze pizza thing absolutely that LeBron's Pizza Company it's real bad is that still going well I do not think it is. I remember it being like the thing and then... It's a choose your own topping like you know like counter style. But then the thing is it's wildly fast it's like I want this this this this this and then it's like BOOM. The oven is very hot, hence the blaze. I had it like two years ago, and this is not me shitting on every blaze experience. Sure, sure, sure. Especially the ones Blake talks about. Blaze on deck.

Goodbye. And it was so bad, my kids said, we should never come back here. What? You know what I mean? Oh, see, my dad loves it because it has a good gluten-free crust, so there is that. Almost like everywhere. I love Tim.

I didn't know he's a bitch. What's going on? What the hell, bro? You better watch out. Come on, man. He'll come for you. He'll suplex you. I love Tim.

I love Tim. Does he have a gluten allergy? Or what's going on with her? Yeah, he does. Oh, man. That sucks. And then my aunt has celiac, he does. Oh man, that sucks. What's it? And then my aunt has like celiac disease or whatever. It's like really fucked up.

Can't have no gluten at all. It doesn't seem fun. And what is gluten? Because my assistant, she's gluten free. I never know what she can eat or what she can't eat. For everything that I'm going to order, she's like, well that's, I can't eat that. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?

I, here's my thing. Isn't it a thing where like we're all gluten, whatever? Intolerant or? Yeah, like we shouldn't be eating it and some people are just worse off than others. Ah. Todd is chiming in. So gluten is a protein found in certain grains,

including wheat, barley, and rye. Beer. So that means he can't enjoy Sierra Nevada pale ale? in certain grains, including wheat, barley, and rye. Beer. So that means he can't enjoy Sierra Nevada pale ale? Well, see, that's the thing, and that's why my dad is a G. He will, every now and then, crack a beer, but he knows as soon as he starts drinking the beer,

he's going straight to diarrhea town. Back to the Tito's. Oh, it's diarrhea time. So then does he pivot to just alcohol, but I mean grains Yeah, like I believe Tito's is like a gluten free alcohol There are options out there. I Okay, so he's fine. Yeah He could drink. Yeah, he can he can drink he can still get blasts. Okay. Thank God

Thank God Isn't that the whole fact though like that? None of this shit's good for any of us right like bread is like bad for you Processed like grains are not good for you, right? So what what is like a good carb chocolate milk? Okay, cool. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you are like vegetables You know I did actually hear that raw vegetables are bad for you. Shut the fuck up. That's not true. I know.

The person who told me I told him to shut the fuck up, man. Shut the fuck up. Raw just means fresh, uncooked. Now they were, now what did that person's neck look like who told you? It was kinda like- Was it real droopy? It was super droopy, dude. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, they're like, actually, vegetables are bad for you. Fried food is actually better for you than vegetables. Diarrhea. You know, I'm actually, this macaroni and cheese ball is actually way better than a raw eggplant. These are vitamins. Dude.

We went to a nice steakhouse. My family was in town, and we went to a nice steakhouse. Louie's by the Bay. Okay. It's a great steakhouse, Louie's by the Bay. Okay. Go off. It's a great steakhouse in Newport Beach and we went there last night and I had some mac and cheese. I will say it was one of the best meals I've had in years. Okay.

Oh, I love when that happens. It was awesome. Woohoo! Oh, every, every, the chef was back there just cooking. I've never been the type of guy- Wait a second, the chef's back there cooking No, but like cuckin like oh, yeah Cuz he's cooking but yeah, he's in his bag. He's cooking. Yeah It was everybody's blazing with his chef's. But we had mac and cheese with the crumbles on top and the bacon in it

It was ooey gooey. Ooh Very good very good. So you guys all just had mac and cheese. I ordered it for the table. No one wanted it because my dad has stomach issues. My mom like eats like a little squirrel. Chloe doesn't really fuck with mac and cheese. And then my assistant is gluten free. Bo sort of liked it, but he's 15 months,

and he was just like, I don't know. He's like, I'm kind of just, you just look like he was shitting the whole time. Like he kept just going like, ah. It might've been. And squeezing to where we're like, he's for sure shitting. And then we checked his diaper. The guy wasn't shitting.

He just was holding his breath till he turned red and then laughing because he did that. And we're like. Again, again, for his age, very funny. It was very funny. It was a funny bit that he was doing. Also, I feel like you do that. I feel like that's something you do to be funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he takes after me, yes.

But then no one was taking, was eating this mac and cheese, and I don't even know why I'm talking about it. I think you mentioned mac and cheese balls, and I just was like, I've got to tell my story, dude. Sometimes we just gotta talk about stuff and in the meantime we'll think of something funny to riff about. Hey I love mac and cheese don't get me wrong I'm a huge fan I got the blue box blue. I'll never get you wrong. See I told you we'd come up with something funny nice play. Now we're turning into that little kid podcast. Probably my favorite mac and cheese is, is Velveeta. Oh, Velveeta's trash. What? There's Velveetamsbomb.com. No way, dude. It's so good. Dude, it's so rich. It's not even real cheese. Dude, I'm reading the ingredients right here. I'm reading the ingredients.

Dude, there's like no words you can pronounce on here. Like that tells you right off the bat it's not healthy. Oh my god. Where is it even? What do you know about health, you fat fuck? What the hell? You're grounded. We're all nine years old and our body fat is six.

What are you talking about? Dude, they go on some wild ass tangents where they'll be like Would you eat like a 7-Eleven sushi? And then the bro's like Absolutely, dude. I'm not scared of that I wish we could do an entire podcast in the voices I used to smash 7-Eleven sushi when we lived off Packard, Blake Oh man, you're a savage though, dude. you're such a savage, you're a legend dude.

But it was delicious and I kind of, I mean I kind of was like a little butthurt and bummed. The cause of diarrhea. That it gets such a bad rap because I remember I couldn't afford good sushi because I was poor. Sure, who could? Can I just say something real quick, real quick, it doesn't have a bad rap.

I think it does. It's that it's bad. Go ahead. For sure, for sure. Either you have diarrhea or you don't. I mean, I know it's not delicious. Like in the same way that a hot dog from 7-Eleven isn't as good as the great Chicago hot dog

that you could get. Or, you know what I mean? Well, I would say the grade of a hot dog to the grade of a sushi is way different way He's from Omaha. He's from Omaha. All I'm saying is I never got sick. I don't know people that have gotten sick Well, if that's your baseline But everyone says like oh 7-eleven sushi like it's like a punchline. It's a joke. I'm just standing up for 7-eleven I'm standing up for their sushi

It's a joke. I'm just standing up for 7-Eleven. I'm standing up for their sushi. Diarrhea Now you're a punchline. You're a joke. Because imagine you're the guy who's your... It's your whole gig is to supply the 7-Eleven sushi. Oh, you're sticking up for him. Yeah, the world is just kind of coming against you and you're like, this is how I make my living.

Wait, what is this? Coming against you? What the hell? Do not... I gotta see this video. What does the world do? He's using gay AI. Uh huh, it's just gay AI. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

That ain't gay, right? Derson, did I inspire you to put on sunglasses? No, he is in- He is doing VR for gay AI, right? Yeah. You guys are goblin cocks right now. He's live AI enough because I'm 44 My wife my wife gave me like this like red light thing. Do you know about this? We're like you can oh sure

What is that it's like it's supposed to like promote Healing on a cellular level and I off-key. I sort of think it's it's not real BAM. Okay but Tony Cavallaro is like will cover himself in these lights and ride a bicycle He's a bit of a guru too. He he studies up. He studies He knows all this stuff and I'm like do you think it's working he's like maybe but it seems like a crazy thing I'm gonna put it on my foot cuz cuz I've seen the masks where you wear the like white mask with the red and it's supposed to like I don't know help with like oh oh congratulations but what is that though like that you're holding a

handheld wand but I thought this was for like um to like cure like, like wrinkles or like pores. I got wrinkly feet. This is, so this is, this is me at 44. Because I sprained my toe like a fucking year ago, like bent it out of hell a whack. I now have arthritis in my big toe. You are so old. What does that do?

Hurts so bad. It just hurts. Go to hell you old bastard. Wow. So now my fucking toes is on fire all day. And really, when I run, it's a nightmare. Can I ask you this? It's a daymare.

That really sucks. Have you thought about quitting running? Never, dude. It's a lifestyle, brother. Never stop running. Can't, bro. All right, I quit everything. What about this, Ders?

And this is serious. Can you amputate your toe and replace it with like a Replacement toe? Yeah, great great question. I'm glad you're serious Okay I suppose I mean, yeah, I mean dude. I would probably give the red light therapy a shot before Amputation. Yeah, what are we fucking? Deon Sanders. Oh, no are we fucking, Deion Sanders? No, it's Ronnie Lott.

Come on. It's Deion too, isn't it? What did they do? Ronnie Lott broke his finger during a game pretty bad. And Ronnie Lott, remind me who he is? He was- Football player? Rams?

Yeah, 49ers. He was on the 49ers. He's one of the best defenders ever. But he fucked his finger up really bad, his pinky. And it was so bad were like you can't play and he's like fuck it and supposedly he just like ripped his pinky off And kept playing that's different. This is my big toe. I'm a big toe. I'm fucked. Oh, yeah, you got to keep that You got I assume there's a like a replacement toe a replacement toe Yeah, it wouldn't be the same dude that They really haven't dialed that in quite yet I wish AI would would really work on healing my body Durs's body

I can't wait that's that'll be the next big thing. That's priority Yeah I can't wait till you can like have your fucked up toe cut off and then they like put a little like Little juice on the nub and then you start to grow a new one. That shit's gonna be fire. Yeah, I don't know if I know what that means but I can't wait either. That'll be cool. You know what I want?

I want when people are in chronic pain as I am. That's me, I'm with you. And Ders is now part of this club. Ders in his toe, yep. You're a fucking disaster my guy. I would like a shot or a pill that you can just be out of pain. That's heroin Yeah, I know but not I know but not fuck you up in that way like I don't

Yes, it's a feel like I'm on heroin or feel I don't even like the effects of like a pain pill. It sucks You can't do shit. Yes, it's not how about this? Can they just remove the nerve endings? Can they just get in there and then just pull it out like a fucking weird weed? Yeah, yeah. I don't need it. I don't need to feel my toe. I mean, you see the movie, the movie Novocaine, which I quit. Oh, I haven't seen it yet. I really want to. That movie where he like has some sort of disease or something where he can't feel and it's like,

It's like Dark Man. Dangerous. It's dangerous because he could like bite his tongue off and not feel it and you know, Sure. It's dangerous because he could bite his tongue off and not feel it. So he's very, very careful of everything. And then this girl that he falls in love with, he gets kidnapped and he goes to try to save her. He fucks her too hard. Yeah, Blake. I was giving him the version, maybe,

if we were in a writer's room, that would be the first thing I spitball. But I would love that. I would love that I would love that that sounds really great Oh, you know what I did you know what I did last weekend I went to bottle rock up in the Bay Area hung out with Kyle. Yeah, dude How is he yeah Yeah, headline alert. Bury the head. See ya. Water trash.

Yes, how was it? I've always wanted to go to that festival. It's a festival in Napa Valley. It was so damn fun. It was awesome. I'm friends with Tre Cool from Green Day, and he was like, you should come up to Bottle Rock, but you need to get like the super VIP passes so you can hang out with us. And I'm like, you should come up to Bottle Rock, but you need to get like the super VIP passes

so you can hang out with us. And I'm like, can you hook me up? And he's like, I absolutely cannot. But he could hook me up with, me and him hosted the culinary stage. Yeah, that's like a culinary stage. That's kind of the thing, it's like a festival with like food going on.

It's very cool. Yes, and it was awesome. Williams-Sonoma Culinary Stage, and they had all these famous chefs. Tight. I think my guys were called Michael and Brian Volteggio. Brothers? Sure, of course.

Sounds real. They were cool, they were very cool dudes. Yeah. And we made these like giant lobster rolls, and they're huge. They were like the size of a loaf of bread. Glad we're talking about this. of bread. We're talking about this I'm glad we're talking about this because I saw the video dude

I feel so bad I go to give it to someone in the crowd, but I couldn't climb I go I couldn't climb down there was no way to climb down to hand it to someone so I was like I'm gonna toss it. I thought I could toss it out, and they also the crowd was going like yeah And it wasn't a small crowd there was like five thousand people watching yeah Yeah, and and they're like throw it throw it and so I'm like fuck I'll throw it and I go I was aiming for this guy in a purple hat and I threw it towards that man It flips upside down the entire loaf of The lobster roll so dumps out with I would say three pounds of lobster

there was so much lobster in mayonnaise or whatever they make lobster with oh yeah all the worst things dude it dumped so hard on a pack of girls like tweens yeah they were like I mean they're probably like between 15 16 there were somewhere in there Why did this dad just throw a lobster roll at me? I know dude. It's so gnarly and the video I ended up taking it down. I felt bad people like why would you do that? I'm like I did not think it was gonna go that way. Yeah It's truly sad. It's it was really sad because you know these little girls

Have a whole festival left where they gotta be sitting smelling like lobster and mayonnaise I feel horrible The Fabrizio brothers didn't hook them up with an apron or something after that? Yeah, like what could you have done to help them? And then I go backstage and I'm like we have to get those girls like free merch or some shit And they're like okay, and then we didn't find them. We couldn't find them And then I'm like well, maybe it wasn't that bad a mom reached out via Instagram she DM'd me and

She was like it wasn't just one girl you doused a whole pack of girls one of which is my daughter And I then I write back. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I want to apologize. I didn't think it was gonna happen. I want to apologize. I won't. You're a monster. I want to. I'm not going to. No, I apologize. I very much want to, but my lawyer is telling me I can't. I can't. I can't even. I can't. I can't talk no more. I said I was very sorry yada yada and do and then she writes back it actually ruined her day Oh, yeah, are you kidding me? Yeah, and then she was like she was sad and she was embarrassed yada yada Oh, man, so I'm trying now. I'm trying to like get a bunch of bottle rock merch to send to them

Oh, I don't dude. She don't want to remember that day. It was the worst day of her life. I know. I know. Her crush was there. She went to go, he's sorry. He's like, what's up? She just had fucking lobster rotting.

And you know, Benson Boone was on stage with us, who like all the girls are crushing on. And this is the flipper. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Man. These beautiful things that I got. Wow.

Oh, that's him? Yeah. Oh, OK. Yeah, I've heard got. Hey. Wow. Oh, that's him? Yeah, yeah. Oh, OK. Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah. Oh, how could you not? Talented guy.

Beautiful voice. Where would I have heard that song though? Probably just Instagram. Everywhere. Just everywhere. Where people are working out and it's his song, right? Hey. Hey.

Wow. He has a stunningly beautiful voice. I think when I see chicks, you know how the do like the pull-ups with no shirt on? Like you just see them back. Here's your algorithm, here's my algorithm. And it's like, it's just set to that song of them doing pull-ups. It definitely feels like a like a girls fit, fitstagram. If that's a thing. Yes.

Sounds like an anthem. It's half an Instagram. I walked backstage after watching Benson Boone, and I was doing that. I was just singing. I was pretty half-cocked by this point. And I'm just going, ha! Were you half-cocked when you threw the giant lobster roll? I wasn't.

That was early in the day. I wasn't. I had one moment. His lawyer is telling him to say he was sober. Yeah, no, I wasn't. I like had one lawyer telling him to say he was sober. Yeah, no, I was when you spiked the football. Little girl's hair. I didn't mean to do. Here's my question.

And this is half kind of a joke and half very serious. What does this woman expect from you? I know that that's what people said. Oh, you know, closure. Like you're a good person. You're gonna try and make it, right? Yeah, I'm trying over here. But but in in her where she's coming from. What is making it right? I know Yeah, I'm like I don't I don't know. I don't really know what to do I'm gonna see if I can get a hooded sweatshirt or something to her sounds like the beginning of a stalker comedy movie from the

90s where it's like oh, I didn't mean to do that. That's okay Maybe we just go to dinner one time and you go, okay, yeah, let's go to dinner one time. And then from there, it like turns into this like. I won't be eating lobster. Ha ha ha. No. But you will.

And this just heard, they kidnapped me and they forced feed me lobster. What the hell? Till I pop. Is it real? Allegedly. I hope that's not the case, but. Yeah, I hope not. So I was bummed byedly. I hope that's not the case, but. Right.

Yeah, I hope not. So I was bummed by that. So other than that, after that you just started raging again, right? And then I drank a lot. Yeah, I was like, I feel like such a dick. Adam's going to go to prom with this girl. By the way, no one else backstage thought they were just like, that was hilarious. No one was like, that was insane.

We got to get these girls hoodies or this, everyone was like, that was awesome. No one was like, that was insane. We gotta get these girls hoodies. Or everyone was like, that was awesome. And I'm getting high fives and I'm like, I feel bad. And they're like, don't, it's fine, they love it. And I'm like, oh, they love it. And then I come home, I read my DMs. I'm like, oh man. Yeah, I think what really sold it

was the video footage that you posted as well. It's like, it's tragic, cause it like pans over and it's just this little girl just like Yeah, like coleslaw just dripping from I'm like, oh damn whatever. It's a fun story She'd go back next year. Maybe you could get her free tickets for next bottle rock I would love that I am not a control of anything and I'm reached out and I haven't heard much back. But I'm still working on it. This is what people pay for when they go see that birthday cake DJ, right?

Yeah, I was the Steve Aoki of seafood. But you know what, birthday cakes, you know, it does well in the sun. I don't know that seafood. No it doesn't. What are you talking about? No it doesn't. It definitely doesn't do as well as fucking lobster immediately and mayonnaise. That is not, that is not what you want on you.

You're right, you were right. It hits different. It hits different. It hits different. Guys, I just say that birthday cake hits different in the sun, okay? True, double true. Double true, skinny.

Yeah, that's what's up, that's what's up. No doubt. Yeah, that's definitely what's up I like your perspective man. You always bring like a different vibe and Mike Cheers and then linked up with Kyle for a little bit His braces are looking absurd. Yeah, the guy needs to get these Oh, yeah The bitch for those that don't know he got braces as soon as he wasn't on the pot anymore and we and and of course he's inspired we would at Every pod would have been about Kyle ended him and did him. Yeah. Yeah, I see him

You know out and about we go play pickleball and that's nice. He never hits me up It still catches me off guard when I see those braces. Yeah, it does so gotta gotta see a lot of that me off guard when I see those braces. Yeah, it does. So gotta see a lot of that. I met a lot of, I met Steph Curry. He's nice as hell, dude. Oh, cool. The freaking goat?

Come on. I like how you're shocked. I mean, dude, the list of people I met, Steph Curry, Ken Griffey Jr., who's like dabbed me up like we're old homies. What the hell? Gavin Ronsdale came over to me. He probably thought you were Sean Astin because they were from the same era.

Yeah, that might be. Give me a hell yeah! It's possible. We'll take it. He's like, Goonies. Goonies never say die. You're like, no doubt. They don't. For sure. They really don't. So sick.

Hey you guys! I met Gavin Rossdale and he came over to me. He's a big Righteous Gemstones fan. Okay, that's sick. How was it not on it? He apparently auditioned for the Righteous Gemstones. Yeah. Oh my god.

Oh my god! And he auditioned for Judy's, Judy like cheats on her husband last season. And... That's a great casting. But another, the guy who got it was fantastic in the role. But, uh, he was like, I just couldn't get the Southern accent down, mate. I kept saying, uh, guitar.

He's like, I'm tuning my guitar. And I'm like, thank God they didn't cast you. Because this is, I'm offended. If I'm Southern, I'm offended by this. Yeah, that's not good. But it was cool. And that just goes to show you that like, it must have been awful.

Because if Gavin Rossdale is auditioning for you, it's kind of like a formality. You're like, he's getting it. Yeah, he's gonna get it. Yeah, he's got the role. It's your role to lose. If he could have just played Gavin Rossdale, then I mean, I would have loved if Kelvin's crush

was just Gavin Rossdale, then I'd pay for him to come perform at a birthday party or something. After you met him, did you go, hey, man, don't let the days pass you by. Oh, I didn't. Fuck, I should have. And then he looks back at you and he goes, Glisser. Yes, points. Um, because by the way, he's stunning.

Of course. He's stunning. Always has been. Oh, his hair, his the way, He's stunning. Of course he's stunning. Always has been. Oh his hair, his, the way he clothes lay on his body. I was shook. You were bottle shocked. Yeah you were fully bottle shocked. Chloe could not have cared less. I mean I was just like a guy I was talking to.

And I'm like that's Gavin Rosstone. She's like, oh is that who that is? Oh. I'm like, I'm very- I would AI you and Gavin blazing each other so quickly. Hey, Adam, I don't want to do this to you. What was that?

Chloe was pretending that she did it now. Oh, yucky. She was like, oh my God. Not for me. Who was that nobody that just made me come standing here? Ew. Yucky, yucky, yucky. I must have got some lobster roll in my pants. It smells like lobster.

Gavin Rossdale, I feel like when he just walks through a mall, women are fainting. Oh, he's stunning. They get the stanky leg. You know who I also met that also gave an an air of like who I've never really liked admittedly that much okay was Gavin Newsome. Oh Shit, I meant multiple Gavin. Okay, how was Newsome? I've been on an airplane with him. I met him. I've never been a big Newsome guy. Yeah, I talked with him for like five minutes

Oh, well, he's a politician. He's probably fucking slick as shit. Dude, he's so good at talking and just making you feel great. And he's also like a stud. His hands, his hand gestures. Dude, he was just a stud holding court. I'm like, well, he's like a college baseball player. Yeah. Yeah. He's cool. I mean, whatever. But he talks to he's like, I mean, I was no good. I just played in college. You know, I guess I get hit. And you're like, shut the fuck up. It was very much like that. It was very much like, I don't know. Maybe we'll see.

Any time you're in the room with like any politicians, you just get it. They're just slick as fuck. Yeah, you get it. This is what you said about Joe Biden, right? Yeah, exactly. The same thing. Biden was a fucking killer in the room. You're like, oh man. And then, and then of course his, you know, brain left him. RIP.

Stop. Don't do not say this. Don't. You're turning your back on the DNC. Fake news. Finish him. Love him. He was truly very nice when I met him. But years ago. Lost his mind.

And that makes me go like, you know Trump's the go like you know Trump's the coolest. You know Trump's the coolest. Oh, dude, are you kidding me? He's a fucking blast, man. I bet Kamala when you meet her is fucking down to clown. You're like this girl rules. She's hella cool. Yeah, she rocks. I wonder if Hillary.

Adam. Is great. Hillary's so fun, bro. She beer bongs. Yeah, I wonder if Hillary when you meet...is great. Hillary's so fun, bro. She beer bongs. I wonder if Hillary, when you meet her, you're like, fuck, she's the best, dude. She's like, she looks like a grandma, but she fucking parties, dude. She's cool, dude. I just get it. I'm not joking, but she fucks.

She's dumb. Hillary definitely is like, she'll meet you, you'll establish a handshake or whatever, and then when you see her five years later, she still remembers like yeah, you remember that? Yeah Gotcha. Damn and then she pulls out a little hot sauce. She's like I bring this everywhere. Yeah, I'm cool, right? You're like, yeah That is fucking cool in real life. That's endearing and cool and I love it and then she's like, oh my god Wait, there's a sniper and then she farts and she's like, just kidding. I farted.

I got you, bitch. You were so scared. You know, you're in a hacky sack circle and all of a sudden Bernie Sanders just comes in and does a cool side stall. Dude, stalling all day. Yeah. Bro, are you kidding me?

He does a cool side stall. He kicks it up. Have you ever arm wrestled RFK? He's like, fuck it, get over here, bro. You're in a push-up contest with RFK. You're just having a blast. Get over here, bro. Yeah, he's called you brother a lot.

You're like, man, that's cool. He's like a WWF wrestler, man. So good. God, I love politicians. They're the best. In real life, they're all the fucking men or women. Yeah, they're great. They all just rule. Yeah.

Shout out to politicians, man. Yeah, dude. They get a lot of bad press, but here, they're family. Well, what other politicians have you met? Because I've only, I met a handful of mayors. I met Newsome. I met the governor of Nebraska. I was at a Kamala thing years ago.

Okay. Did you meet her? Gotcha bitch! As a VP, I mean it was like a very small, like, you know. Intimids. There's like 40 people in the room type donor. Ooh, Intimids gatherings. Do not come.

And she seemed super cool. Yeah. Was it a Diddy Freak Off? Dude. And she was like workaholics, and I go that's right She goes I wouldn't mind working that small day. She goes Durz is my favorite character 69 man number two 169 man number two politicians. I don't know all the pounds don't Paul a poundstone ran for office

Jesse Ventura did and he's a fucking sick-ass. Well, well. Yeah, I met, dude, met Arnold one time. You know he fucking rocked. I mean. Unreal. Yeah. Dude, I played commando for my kids the other day. What the hell? Is that a little adult? What? Wow. Love that.

What? What are you training these soldiers, bro? Yeah. Love that, dude. Fuck it! Well, dude, let me just say this. They like the movie. They're into it. They're into it. Yes. When he gets to like, it's like he goes to like Catalina or some island out there where there's like a secret headquarters and he starts gearing up and he's like zipping the vest. Is that what he like is carrying trees around is like a training?

That's the very beginning. When you meet him, you go, OK, this guy's formidable. When he gears up to take on the hundred the hundred guys or whatever and it's like tying grenades on shoving like knives in places Guns here. They're everywhere tying boots. Oh, yeah, that's the best my kids stand up off the couch Yes, and I just like they're like And we said painting the fucking like Gun on his shoulder. I'm getting fucking jacked and juicy just listening to this Yeah, I was like this never gets old watching jacked dudes gear up for combat Oh god, I could watch it all day

But also hey hear me out would it be still would it still be cool? Maybe not cool, but would it be funny if just I was shirtless doing the exact same thing? Mmm. Would it be funny? I think with music and if you can give me something behind the eyes, Adam. Yes. That tells me you're serious about this. Okay.

I mean, I'm saying for any of us, but I think my body's probably the most porridge-based right now. Okay, stop. I think as long as you have it in the eyes and we know you're going to kill, you get a pass. Yeah, I like that. I like any sort of like- The music helps. The music helps. Yeah, gear up scenes rock. Because, I mean, obviously Arnold's the best version of it, but I think seeing anyone, if like, if Leslie Nielsen were to do that in A Naked Gun, I would say it's the best sequence ever. Right. Or Leslie Jones. Any Leslie. Yeah. They did it in, I gun, I would say it's the best sequence ever. Right. Or Leslie Jones.

Any Leslie. Yeah. They did it in, I want to say they did it in Hot Shots. It might have been Hot Shots Part 2. Right. But I think he like, or maybe something. He suits up and then- Because it's in Rambo First Blood Part 2, he does the exact same thing. Yeah. And then something happens, he like puts on all the gear and then like he's standing there and then he falls over because it's so heavy and that's like the end of the bit.

I mean they did it and I'm gonna get you sucka like this is this is classic. So it's fresh comedy. Yeah. They were asking me if he was CGI. Can you imagine being so jacked that children ask if you're CGI? That's so cool. Hot hot hot hot! That's so cool.

And then I had to explain I go he was like the first.'re CGI. That's so cool. Hot, hot, hot, hot! That's tight, dude. That's so cool. And then I had to explain, I go, he was like the first... This is before, before CGI. He was the first famous bodybuilder. People used to just like work out and do bodybuilding. He was Mr. Universe six times in a row. And they're like, but now everyone looks like that.

And you're like, I know, it's so annoying. Yeah. Kind of, yeah. Nobody looks like Arnold, though. Nobody. Goddamn, he's fucking flawless, dude. He's the perfect meat mountain. Gay eye.

Sponsored by gay eye. Sponsored by gay eye. I did feel lucky. I was like, I'm so lucky that we grew up in that era. Yeah. No, yeah, we're so lucky. We've seen it all. We've got to see that and we've got to see

fucking the food boys pod. like we're so fucked like you know how like girls growing up They're like in magazines all these girls are skinny and we know we were watching Arnold Schwarzenegger movies Just being like mm-hmm that that's what I need to be I want to be that and I can't be that what the hell is That that what is that? I listen to an audiobook. Yeah, I think it's called the last action heroes. Yeah, it's fucking awesome You're so smart to audiobook you yeah, I love it brother. I love it for you Oh, dude I love listening to well cuz I drive back and forth from LA quite a bit And then whenever I'm driving I fire it up dude. Yeah, listen to a book

I really appreciate that you don't support podcasts you do audiobooks. They're way better. No, no, no, no, dude I couldn't imagine listening to a podcast I couldn't imagine Adam. What is the highlight? It's just really cool stories about every action hero. It's like so like what's one like that you give me one you don't think I know you don't remember anything. I don't remember dude. I have a snapchat memory. I just remember having a great time while listening to it. I would love to listen to it. I did listen to a book. I promise. Here. Yeah, it's called the last action heroes. Yeah, and it tells stories by Yeah, it's called the last action heroes. Yeah, and it tells stories by

Let me be John Klaue Van Damse that Sylvester Stallone Arnold Schwarzenegger Golf Lundgren, it's all the expendables right are we doing is Bruce Lee like is Bruce Lee up in the mix No, I understand that he's a different category, but he's got to be mentioned. No, he's different. This is it's all from the 80s and 90s Yeah, I would like for you guys to guess there's one two three four five six seven eight There's eight guys here and we got Arnold Arnold sly. Yep. Those are the two main Dolph JCVD Dolph JCVD uh-huh Steven Seagal. Yep. Really Bruce Willis Bruce Uh-huh. Steven Seagal. Yep. Really? Bruce Willis? Bruce. Okay. You're only missing, you're missing two more. Two more, two more, two more. Mel Gibson? It's not Mel. It's not Mel. Are there any women? No. Okay, good, good, good, good. Come on, Ders. What are you talking about, bro? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Get the fuck out of here. What are you talking about? These are going to be hard to guess.

No they're not. Can't be Hulk Hogan. It is not Hulk. It's Wesley Snipes. It is not. Oh, disqualified. Sorry, Bugg. You don't count.

The fuck are we talking about? Who are the last two? The last two are... We can do this. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. We can do this. Is this good? Is this good podcasting? It's great because people wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait I don't they're not top of mind and that's why you guys are stumped right now. No, we're not we're not stumped

We just are we're having fun talking. Yeah, are you not having fun? Oh, are they can I ask are they super buff? They're less buff one I mean, they're both badasses one is like Charles Bronson known as He he's a stunt king. The other is... Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan, you nailed it. Okay. And the other is known as a certified badass, but kind of looks like a dad. Mickey Rourke. Ooh.

And I already said Mel Gibson. And I didn't sign off on my life being part of this book. Yeah, that's interesting. He's like maybe one of the most, like, of these other guys, went to train with him. He's a little bit older. Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris. Oh Chuck, dude. So like weirdly.

Gotta start with Bruce Lee. No, weirdly. Weirdly Chuck Norris is like, he remember there was like the peak moment where there were all these Chuck Norris jokes and shit. But I don't think people have actually dove into the Chuck Norris movie catalog. Or life. His movies. There's a movies, his movies are fucking awesome, dude.

They are so cool. So I don't even know if you guys know this, but when we did Crossbows and Mustaches, our world famous sketch series, there's a part where I get... Look it up, Crossbows and Mustaches. I get kidnapped, they put me in a chair, they cut the bottom of the chair out, my nuts hang. Yeah, they do. Perfect. Now that's stolen from a 007 movie, right? Yes, yes, with Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig. Beautiful man. Then they take a bag with an angry rat and they wrap the bag around my nuts.

That is taken from, I believe, and somebody give me a, Missing in Action 2? Maybe 3? Maybe 1. It's from a Missing in Action, they tie a bag over Chuck Norris' head with a rat. Yep. That's right. That's right. Yes, yes, yes. Isn't he hung by his legs? Hung upside down. I think I played it for you guys so you'd understand what I was pitching. And then they take the bag off, and he's got the rat in his teeth, and you're just like, fuck. And in our sketch, his dick tied it.

My nuts choked it. Your nuts tied the rats up and killed the rats. Choked it out. So good. It's incredible. Your nuts are so talented. Before I could grow a mustache. Mission in action two.

I know it was two. I was right. But yeah One crazy story was John Claude Van Dam Used to go to he was like 20. He was like 24 or something or 22 he was like a young guy and Chuck Norris is almost 40 and he's training and John Claude went to train with him and They're like, okay kid If you could keep up you could train with him and they're like, okay kid, if you could keep up, you could train with us. And then-

I think I might be able to. And then John Claude was gassed and had to stop working out. I got nothing. And then he kept hanging out and he's like, I have to let me spar with you. And- Let me spar with you, man.

That's pretty good, that's really good. Chuck was like, I can't allow you to spar with me I I would murder you that's fine He's like you have to and then he just proceeded to kick his ass so badly That John Claude couldn't walk out of yeah, and Chuck Norris is a great guy, and he's like you know what you're tough You took it. You're my assistant now, and then he was his assistant for oh my god Shout out Jean Claude. I love it.

For however long, until he got his first big movie, and then he left being Chuck's assistant. Well, notoriously, Chuck Norris and also Stephen Seagal, but I would take Chuck over Stephen. They are real fighters. They are actually trained. Ryan Murphy needs to make that show. Yes, yeah. But Stephen Seagal was like, he was great,

but also everything for Steven Seagal is unverified. They're like, he said he trained with this guy, but that really wasn't, it's not for sure. Like Chuck Norris won competitions. Like he is the guy. He was a world champion, yeah. Yeah, he's a real actual badass. John-Claude Van Damme was a ballerina, let's be honest, but he he had the... Like literally he was a ballerina? Yes. But who also did martial

arts. Yeah, but he did ballet. But here's the here's the difference. No shade. That's not hard to do. John Claude is smart enough. I couldn't stay on my toes. Does Chuck Norris have a trademark? Because John Claude was like, I have a trademark. I do this. What's his, the splits? Yeah. Yeah. He does the splits. I thought you meant like he owned a trademark.

No, no, but if he had a trademark move, but if any of us did the splits, not cool. If anyone does the splits, not cool. When John Claude Van Dam does the splits, it's cool. Yeah, dude. I don't know if you saw my Jennifer Hudson tunnel walk spirit tunnel walk I did do the splits and and it was very well received it was very well I told my algorithm cool I told my algorithm stop sending me the fucking Jennifer Hudson tunnel, because I did it the once, now I told my publicist, I'm like, I did it.

Like now, now when I go back to do press and I'm doing Jennifer Hudson, which I'm sure I will, and I had a great time on the show, do I have to do the spirit walk again? Yeah, you gave it your all. I gave it my all. Has anybody done it twice? I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure.

What a mess. You have to bring that much energy again? That's tough. It's tough. No sir, I don't like it. I can't wait. Ders, we gotta get you in that fucking spirit walk. I can't wait to watch it.

Like, I don't get anxiety. My skin is crawling having to tell those people. I'm living living a nightmare. Nothing would make me happier than to watch Dyrs not do, not do, just walk down it and be like. And Adam, tell me if I'm wrong here. And maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm wrong. To me, there's nothing worse

than like manufactured good times. Sure, sure, sure. But does it feel like an actual good time? I had a pretty damn good time doing it because they're just chanting your name. They're and they're doing fun songs. And I ended up having a great time. At first, I was like, because I was a real wise. You had to do it twice. That's right.

No, I just kept running back and forth through it. I didn't have to do it twice. I thought you told us before that they were like do it again. No Well, that's not true. I'm gonna take yeah check the tapes. I've never I've never said that I didn't have to do it again I do recall that I do recall you saying that yeah, thank you No, no, no The thing was is I walked out and they were there chanting and I wasn't ready I don't want to know the thing I want to know the truth

You can't handle the truth. So then I had to go back in I wasn't ready. I don't want to know the thing. I want to know the truth You can't handle the truth. So then I had to go back in I wasn't ready They're like and then I like stepped out real quick of the little room and they start chanting I'm like, no, I'm not this isn't like the shirt I'm wearing or whatever. So I had to go back in change the shirt See ya any take backs apologies any epic slams Do you want to take back hitting that girl with the fucking lobster? The lobster roll? I would like to take that back, yeah.

I feel, I felt bad initially, I felt very bad when the mom reached out and shamed me. Um, I actually should have. I would be pissed too. If it was my daughter, uh, and some middle-aged comedic actor got on stage and spiked a five-pound lobster roll Gotcha, bitch! covered in an entire tin of caviar on my daughter's head

It's getting worse I would be bummed Wait, how could you... did you get to eat the lobster roll at all? Or it just wasn't to your liking? Or you just like... No, I just was like, the audience should have this. Blake, great question, Blake. I thought people were giving the food.

I guess I didn't even understand the story because I didn't know if you ate it or tasted it or not. No, it's just like wild. And then Trey threw out this giant thing of ice cream and it hit this guy in the head. And he liked it. You just aimed at minors. He liked it.

He was like a guy. He was just like a dude. I wish I would have, if I would have hit a dude, I'd feel great about this whole thing. It's the fact that it missed the dude I was aiming for and hit a pack of little blonde girls who were there just to see Benson Boone and be excited about living life.

Benson Boone! And instead they got bumper'd. They got bumper'd. They got bumper'd. Sorry. Our girls got bumper'd. Please don't stop the music. And I'm very sorry.

I would like to give a big shout out to my boy, Anders Holm, a big 48 years old. I'm 44. 44, 44. You seem older than that, but. Can you imagine if I was 48? Oh my god. I can't wait. And I'll give him an epic slam.

I'll say, there's your old ass dirt, baby. Your old ass dirt. Classic, classic. It was fun. I just posted, you know, because you have to post about your friends. And it's their birthday. You have to. Yeah. Oh my god. I posted about you today. And I went back and was like, I just posted, you know, because you have to post about your friends, and it's their birthday, you have to.

Oh my god. I posted about you today, and I went back and was like, it's nice that now you can just like, you're in my little, I have so many photos with you throughout the years, it's just like, in your phone, it just says Anders, and then I can click on that button, and it shows every photo we've ever taken together,

which is like 1200. And I went back through the cratesates and found like some super old ones It was fun to go back and relive rehash those men dude I'm gonna look at them all in bed tonight those The button where you can just you can really just fall into photos of your phone Like when you start to go back, it's it's better than the any TV show. It's the TV show of your life It's really beautiful. I know this was heady.

I know this is heady. As much as I wanna end on that note. That's a little dunce. That's a little dance. But I do that a lot on planes when I'm just not wanting to buy the wifi. Of course. I go, let me look at every photo I've ever taken.

The go-go. It's so nice. Yeah, I wanna say thank you to all my well-wishers and the DMs, I appreciate it. Thank you. Definitely say thank you to all my well-wishers and the DMs. I appreciate it. Thank you definitely say thank Here's my thing though, and you guys know I gotta have a thing is like yes, you do for you guys. I love like Being mentioned in your stories. I appreciate But we're in this era we're now like the expectation is that like you get

Reposted yeah, don't worry. You don't get a repo. I'd prefer if you did It would be nice. I understand be nice But I feel like I got a I got a few that I was like I feel like you're just doing this to be reposted Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it's it's definitely a move. Oh fuck. That's a good one I mean look at that's a fake mustache, but but there's the good one. I mean, look at, that's a fake mustache. But there's the real one. It's basically exactly what it is. Yeah, a little redder. Yeah, no, you are right though, Ders.

There are people who tag you to get a little bit of your birthday juice. And I don't like it. I'm glad you're putting them in their place. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. I don't like it. And call them out by name right now.

I probably will. I probably will. On another episode Blake didn't do anything. I did I gave him an epic slam dude. Yes it That was a dance episode That was a dance episode That's a big bitch Why are we playing this song I don't know it was just fun to go out on it's caddyshack and

Caddyshack gopher and we were I don't know why it came into my head. Yeah, it'll come into your head. Wow, I love it. Come on in hard. Well, happy birthday, Dersie. Happy birthday, Ders. Thank you guys, and I'll repost you guys. This is an iHeart Podcast.