This Is Important - Ep 262: Dusty Muhfuckers

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

Today, this is what's important: Coaching, motorcycles, celebrity photos, parties, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, food, Ubers, wokeness, & more  Come see us LIVE on November 20th in Las Vegas! Tickets on sale now! Click here for more information about the This Is Important Cruise Feb 22nd-26th!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your... free iHeartRadio app search emergency internet com and listen now the super secret bestie club podcast season four is here and we're locked in

that means more juicy cheesement terrible love advice evil spells to cast on your ex no no we're not doing that this season oh well this season we're leveling up each episode will feature a special bestie and you're not going to want to miss it my name is curly and I'm Maya

get in here listen to the super secret bestie Club on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately from Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

Yes. Hi, I'm Jennifer Lopez, and in the new season of The Over Comfort podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcomper podcast on the IHeart, Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Welcome to This Is Important, a production of IHart Radio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically, crucially important. Today on This Is Important. I'm mainlining chili with the rest of the people Generation X. This was an absolutely grotesque, wild, wild smell. If you're woke, then I'm hitting snooze, okay? Let's go! We're back!

Perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect. We're so, oh, dude, look at my hat. We're back, coaching staff. The coaching staff is back. Whoa, what staff is back, dude? Who didn't get fired? We're back, bitch. But we're back.

Uh-oh. That's all right. You all ready for this? Come on. If you guys had to coach a bunch of college boys, what team would it be? And you can't say gymnastics, that's my... Oh, you're saying... Oh, you mean what sport it would be.

What sport? I thought you were saying what team. What school. Go big red, go big red, Nebraska. Yeah, I guess I mean what sport. And then you can say what's cool if that floats your boat. I would love to coach ping pong, table tennis. I think that would be sick, dude.

Okay, but it's also what you would be the best at, right? Is it? Well, maybe I just know the game. Okay. I guess you know. I mean, you're not very good at ping pong, so. What? Dude, you're fine.

I'm pretty good. I'm as good as I am, and I'm not that good. I think you're pretty good. Yeah. Okay, well, thanks Blake. You got it, man. I think you're pretty smashing, baby. So Blake would do ping pong, a thing that almost surely doesn't exist.

It's in the Olympics, so they're- You would really do that over, like... What? you want me to coach men and a football game that's not going to happen yeah it's not going to happen at miami and just fly around the country with a bunch of dudes come on i want to see you on the line i want you charging for that ball dude is that how you talk i don't you don't even have to talk like that it is it is kind of how he talked uh he was doing an impression of himself and it was pretty spot on i'm like why are you teasing your smell that's not you know it's nothing wrong with that i don't know

I mean, I feel like Adam, you're not coaching basketball, not head coach. You used to be on the staff, like the hats out. Yeah, well, if I'm on the staff, then I'm basically a mascot, you know? Sure. So then it could be anything. I mean, college football, that's where it's at. That's the most fun. We love it.

And if you're just way down on the bench, you're the last chair, they're like, yeah, I guess we put another chair. You're basically like the down-sender kid. They allow to, like, do laundry. you know oh okay right right right that's who i am do they even allow that anymore yeah they do or do they just dress them up like batman and make them do laundry is that a thing who are we referencing did they ever do that i did they like yeah no they like dressed up some kid like batman and like for make a wish oh no i remember that that was something cool that was like this little kid who was like terminally ill and then they like let him pretend to be batman it was fucking cool yeah we're

talking about don syndrome kids and their ability to do laundry which no i'm talking to terminally ill children. Yeah. Yeah. Right. What about being the guy who he like, there's two guys that are clutch. The dude who unspools the like headset line for the head coach, right? And then there's the guy who just holds on to the belt of the coach who like pulls him back.

Oh, yeah. I love that. We're like, you kind of, I feel like that's who I would be on the sideline. It's just kind of holding on to the coach for dear life. Holding the coach's belt. That's sick. It reminds me of like... Like a chick on a motorcycle just in the belt loops.

Oh, so hot, dude. I love when a chick holds the belt loops on me when I'm on my bike. Dude, I remember when I rode a motorcycle for the six months and crashed it 11 times. I remember I didn't even have my motorcycle license yet. I maybe have never driven a motorcycle, and I rented a motorcycle in a motorcycle in. Hawaii. Oh yeah. Yeah. From Turtle Bay for the north shore of Oahu. They just let you take one. They were like, hey, can you

ride one? And I was like, yeah. Well, you're famous. You got this. Yeah. They're like, you got this. I crashed it immediately. But then Chloe. They never even found that girl's body. No, Chloe was with me. She Oh, wow. Yeah, we both fell off. She put her life in my hands

and she absolutely shouldn't have because I did not know how to drive a motor She said, do you know how to drive a motorcycle? And then I said, do you know how to find out? Do you know how to ride? Let's go. You said, we'll find out. We'll find out.

And she got on. And she laughed thinking it was a joke. It wasn't. It wasn't a joke. Oh, you're so silly. And what are you guys, I mean, because it's Hawaii, I imagine you guys are like sleeveless. We got a few mitis in the system. How are we going down?

I think there is photos. I think I was wearing jeans. That a boy. You can't ride a boy. I think as part of the deal to give me the bike, they made me do like a full-on photo shoot. Oh, nice. It's science.

This shit's important. The Instagram account will find these photos. That person is so damn good at finding deep-cut photos. Did we meet her? Investigative. Met her on the tour? Yeah, I think we've met her. Yeah, she was cool.

Shout out. Shout out to her. Hopefully she's coming on the cruise. I think she is. I think that's guaranteed. She's going to find these photos because they made Chloe and I, like, pose for a bunch of photos. I see, you're already doing your posing face.

Like, for a bunch of photos. Yeah, you definitely. Well, you're on a motorcycle. He can't even talk about taking pictures without changing his face. Dude, he's built for this, bro. You gotta look cool when you're taking photos. He started taking pictures. Oh, dude, Adam, that reminds me, when we were in New Orleans and your,

your photo was on the wall, what, what bar was that? Lafitte's, or? Oh, Lefeet's blacksmith, yeah. Oh, man, it's such a good photo, too. Oh, dude. I'm also. blackout. It's really good. That photo was, I think we've talked about

this. It's during the red dress run. So, yeah, that's right. That's where everyone, like hundreds and hundreds of people run through the French Quarter wearing a red dress. There's some significance to it. I can't remember what it is about. But we were there for a sad event.

It was Chloe's grandmother's funeral. So we were there. And then, this is after the funeral. We're drinking the pain away. Frickly see ya. Someone gives me where someone gives that was a rough funeral let's get some absin

let's have some absin this one's for grandma they gave me a red bandana so I tie this red banana around my head like two mark yeah you look so backwards then

with the thing in the front in the front exactly and then we go to Lafitte's if you're at Lafitte's blacksmith in New Orleans it's at the end of the French quarter

you'll see it it's at the front in the front right as you walk in it says Adam Devine but then it says the name of the movie that you know me from, Pitch Perfect.

It says Adam Devine, Pitch Perfect. No one else of the hundreds of other celebrity photographs that are hanging up in this bar say the name of what you know them from. Well, it's Nicholas Cage. You know what you know him from, man. Come on.

Well, sure. You're saying you wish you were famous enough that they didn't have to? I kind of wish. Or just don't even. Are there other people from Pitch Perfect with their photos up that it doesn't say I don't know if anyone else is saying, I don't know if she's hanging it.

Is she, does it say from pitch perfect? I don't, yeah, I don't think it does. Yeah, it was a bummer. It kind of was like, well, then don't hang me up. If you have to explain. Okay. Well, I have my picture up at Kinder's Meets in the Bay Area and I was, is that where Kinders is from?

It definitely is, yes, shout out, local legends. Well, they have their barbecue sauce in stores. It's very delicious. You've got it. That's where I've seen. Got to try it. Shout out to Kinders. Love them. But my picture is up there, and I was wearing a hat backwards. So, evidently, that makes me unrecognizable. So they had to put my picture in the corner from workaholics so they know who it is. Oh. But still, I feel very honored to be up there next to E40. Thank you so much, Mr. Kinder.

Yeah, I feel like they could have just said Adam Devine. I do look insane in the photo. You do. It's very good. If you're in New Orleans. Because I'm drinking like a purple drank, so my lips are all like purple looking. I was intoxicated. It might be like a believe it or not, that's Adam Devine. And they're like, a different Adam Devine? It's like, no, Adam Devine from pitch perfect. Like, this is the one we're talking about.

Yeah, they're like, oh, Jesus, he looks horrific. Durs, do you have your photo up in any establishments? Or are we still waiting for the day? I'm up at Mustard's last stand in Evanston, Illinois. Okay. Shout out. Go off. That's big time.

That's big time. I love that. Local. That's all I want. That's it. We've been there. I'm up in some place in San Diego where I did this, like, photo shoot. It was one of the very first ones I think I ever got asked to do.

I forgot about your modeling days. Yeah, so it was like the first solo magazine I ever got to do. I think Isaac got me the gig in like every single one of the pictures. I'm like shirtless in like some kind of a suit. They're the worst pictures. I hate them. What? Shirtless in a suits?

Yes. Like blazer, no shirt, it's bad. They're like plaid suits. It's bad, dude. It's terrible. Okay. So hopefully those don't resurface. No, that shit's important.

It's going to dig those out the crate. No, yeah. I think they're very readily available. They're terrible. Yeah, I think I'm up at Prince Street Pizza in New York. Oh, okay. Hell, yeah. That's my, they got one in Pasadena.

I think I'm probably up there too then because I'm, I'm also, there's a Prince Street now in Orange County. Hello, go Prince. And someone just a month or two back said, Oh, you're hanging up at the Prince Street pizza. And I'm like, I've never been in that establishment. So I think they just took the photos from the New York one. Scand them.

Scanned them in? Scand them. I don't order from anywhere else now. Okay. I mean, they're pretty great. They came to Pasadena and I'm like, go time. Okay. I like that.

Yeah, they're great pizza. I am a little bit like then if you're the Pasadena location you have the pizza that's enough you don't need to take the photos you got to start your own photos Yes yes

Okay you know when someone comes in Of no course Then you take your photo And they came into the Pasadena location You can't take the New York photos And bring them out here I like that That's a cool stance

I like that It's a little fake out It's a little bit of a face okay yeah also like part of me is also like what I mean I guess I do like some places that hang up pictures of people

who visited there but at the same time I'm like what is this for who cares yeah it's it's for children is it yeah it's something to look at children are like look there's James Gandalfini in 1997 well no it's for it's for people like me too if I see that John Claude Van Dam has been there

I'm gonna I'm gonna go back Like, that's going to get me there. Yeah, that's kind of cool. I think I like when they have the drawings of the people who've been there. Oh, that's cute. They do, like, the caricatures. Uh-huh. I don't know.

That's a little more fun for me than just, like, some crazy picture where they're like, we have to explain that this is Blake Anderson and Adam Devine from Pitch Perfect. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Dry cleaners is really cool. Dry cleaners, it's funny. Dry cleaners, it's funny.

It's usually like news people and then Jeff Gold. Yeah, Jeff Goldblum. But like, I feel like LA does that a lot. You'll walk into like a dry cleaners and there's just old photos. You're like, oh, okay. So Sid Caesar used to come in here. Right. Huh.

Wait. And Adam, I know you, I know the, I already know the answer for you. But like, when you moved to L.A. and you saw like headshots up in dry cleaners, were you like, someday, motherfucker? Someday. Someday. I have something worth dry cleaning. I mean, I'm sure.

Were you like, yep. I can't wait to be up in four seasons. cleaners on Laurel Avenue. I can't remember thinking that, but yeah, absolutely I did for sure, without a doubt. I'm a psychopath. You were like, you might want to make a little room over there. Excuse me.

They're like, dude, all you do is dry clean one snap button flannel every 10 months. We can't put you up. You're giving us $5 a year. Yeah, I don't wash the snap button flannel. I just, I keep wearing it until I dry clean. me guess you got another gist staying on the lucky you jeans it's not coming out pal i'm sorry hey guys is back he's back he's back lucky you yeah so you're gonna want to move the uh fifth lead from buffy the vampire slay and dallas rains the the weather guy here in l a could you put me next to

mark brown please thank you be right right there thank you okay um no i remember seeing it at that Ambrose Licker that was Oh yeah Right down the street from Blake and I's home in Lake Hollywood We did build a home We had a home That was our home yes We built a home together

Man that was such a fun house I was talking about that house recently It was the house that Blake and I moved into Right after we left the workaholic's house And we rented a truly dumb like young TV star pad It was silly It was very fun

a sunken fire pit with shag carpet. Yes, that was filled with fur. Yes, it was white fur. Andres puked on it the very second he laid on it. The stain never removed. He even got the thing.

I got a thing from like Home Depot to like shampoo it out. I felt bad. Well, it was it was literally, Ders came over. He's like, we got a Chris in the new pad. And by the way, like, By christening it, it just meant Durs was going to crash. It was going to blackout drunk.

And the three of us were going to get blackout drunk with no, it's not like we had a party or there was like we had girls. Oh, no, no, no, no. There was nothing fun or cool happening. Yeah. It was us getting blackout drunk. It was just Blake DJing from an iPod. Yeah. Yeah.

And Ders puking next to where he's laying, which seems to be a thing. Yeah. He's kind of a sleep puker, which is very dangerous. Yeah. To you, bitch. Very dangerous. That's how Jimmy died, man. Pute can't get me.

I hope that doesn't haunt me. And that house, that house was truly fucking sick. That was such a fun house. Yeah, it was tough. It had dinosaurs on the roof. I remember one of our proudest parties, we had a Panda Express. We got a bunch catered. And we had so much orange chicken that it fucked with, like, my sinuses.

That's ball and dude. Yeah. That's real baller shit. Wow, dude. I'll tell you guys when I peaked. Notice me, Senai. Notice me. I mean, it is kind of downhill from there.

Yeah. Kidding me? Remember when Goons, my old assistant and best buddy, he had a birthday party. And he wanted oysters. So I got something like six dozen oysters. And we shucked them there. Oh, yeah. At the beginning.

of the party and we're all eating oysters in the kitchen and then we all get so drunk and it's a huge party. There's well over a hundred people. We just leave the oysters and the oyster juice out all night until the next day and that next morning when I walked

into our kitchen smelled like a whore house. It was like it was revolting. It smelled like a house. It was truly foul. You know, like sometimes the next morning after a party, oh, fuck It was gross.

It was like beer. It smells like somebody threw up in the shag carpet. Yes. It's a little sticky or something. This was an absolutely grotesque, wild, wild smell. Yeah. Oysters shouldn't be allowed at parties where you get that drunk. I feel like that's a little more refined.

Who's in charge of that? I think oysters should be allowed at a party when that party's catered and they're taking it away. I was just going to say it's got to be someone carrying it and passing them out. Yes, and and it's passing out. Someone's passing out all right. It can't just be the random homie. It's gone. Yeah. It can't just be at one of our degenerate

dirty parties. Bro. I just scrape these oysters off the fucking ground, dude. Let's get at this. What we did, we had a hook up at like, it was, it came from a proper place and they were Rouse, but oh, good for you.

But we did not clean up after ourselves. And so I know you eat oysters like, Like, they're like, when you shuck it, that's when you, like, pop off the top. Is that what we're saying? Yeah, when you use the little, what's the little knife called? The little special knife, oyster. Shuckster, shucker, shucker. Do, how do you eat a clam?

Same way? No, you steam them and they open up. Yep. Okay. And then, but then. I don't think you're supposed to eat raw clams. Look the cats. Is that right?

I don't know that. I don't think clams are to be eaten raw. I think oysters are. Clams, you got a, you got to cook. I don't know how real that is, BAM. I'm also guessing. Yes. Give me that raw clam.

But I've never heard people eating raw clam unless they're talking. Yeah, you're right. Thank you. Okay. I mean, you might be right. He likes his clams steamy. Hey, man. Wait, what?

No, no, no. Uh-oh. Jeopardy. Yes, you can eat raw clams. Huh? They are a popular delicacy in some cultures. What? But what cultures?

Yeah, these are like iron. stomachs. It says not the cool ones. Yeah. Is this like Antarctica? No, no, no. Raw clams. Yeah, yeah.

You can eat them. It says very much. Very much so. Raw clams? Served on ice just like just like oysters. I'm just looking for any explanation. He's like, yeah, yeah. Raw clams.

But they're so small. Clams are small, right? Yeah, dude. How big are oysters? Oysters are big as fuck. Yeah. They're huge. But also they can be small.

You don't know shit. Blake, you're just talking. I do know shit. Oysters are big. Clams are small. Hey, and can I say, real quick, what? I, you know, hey. What's a rocky, what's a rocky Mount Oyster?

That's balls. Those are testicles. Okay. Okay. Allegedly. This is important. Thank you. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor.

And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called emergency intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have a podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes.

Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free I-HeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. My name is Ed. Everyone say hello, Ed. Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer.

And my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. The 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house.

So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a. a comedy club, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Jenna Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcover podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life?

Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happens in motion, even when you're hurting.

All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcomper podcast as part of the My Cultura podcast network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hola, it's HoneyGerman, and my podcast, Grasias Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition.

I haven't auditioned in like over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shifters sharing their real stories of failure and success. I feel like this is my destiny. You were destined to be a start.

We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing vivras you've come to expect. And of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know, I'm me. But the whole pretending and code, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasas Has Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network

on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. So Blake gave us so much shit on the last podcast. What? And I'd like to apologize for having to do a best of, but life, man. You know, sometimes it gets in the way. Life comes at you. Life is a highway. It's a highway.

We don't like to do it. We like to come with this hot, hot heat once a week, and we're sorry that we had to give a best up. But the week prior, when Blake was saying and giving us shit for how far we got in a millionaire, who wants to be a millionaire. Oh, boy. Yes. I finally watched the episode. Oh, okay. You watched your Millionaire episode?

And we did great. We got very far. We got, there was four more questions to the million dollar question. Mm-hmm. That's pretty damn far. Okay. And wait, so four after we would have gotten that? Because I only watched the last two questions we got.

Why the hell didn't you guys just watch? You guys were only on for like 30 minutes. You couldn't sit through the fucking episode. My kids and wife were watching it when I came in and I was like, oh, here we go. And then I watched those fucking knuckleheads after us. Got the easiest questions in the world. What? Helen Hunt, come on.

Helen Hunt was on? Yeah. She had easy questions. I love her. Now, do you think it was easy because you were sitting at home watching it? Yes, it's always easier from the couch. Come on, everybody's a pro on the couch. No, dude.

Listen to the, listen to how, dude, the, dude. complicated. Look, I'm not saying that the month one with the oysters is a hard question. Okay. But it takes like actual deductive reasoning of like going through all the months by letter to like do it as opposed to just knowing a thing. Do you know what I'm a dumb ass? Yeah. Well, I mean, some people know what what months to eat oysters if you're super familiar with the oysters. Yeah. But the question is what letter? Which by the way, I did know it. But also, that seems like a super easy question to me because you can deduce it. It's like simple. But that's my point is that it's my point.

But it takes like you need to do a bunch of steps as opposed to just knowing it or not. Like a super easy question. Yeah. Like how many stars are in the American flag? Right. You should just know that. How much? You should just know that.

50, you dumb fuck. What? I thought we're at the 51. I thought we added one. We're not getting green one. I thought we added one. Come on. You are so dumb.

You are so dumb. Trump is my star. You are so dumb. No, I just, and by the way, for sure, yes, it's easier to get from home in the comfort of your own kitchen. But the questions were easier. Yeah, maybe they kind of. People were texting me going, why did they get the softballs? And I go, hey, I got to watch it.

I love this. Dude, I love, I love doing game shows. I love doing. It is very fun. Now, I love doing game shows because you get, I feel like more than even when I'm on a show. Like, when it comes out, I get people in, I get a dozen texts right away of people being like, oh, shit, that was a hard question or, oh, I can't believe you didn't get that one, or whatever it is, they'll reach out.

But is it definitely over 40 demo? I mean, it's, yeah, my friend, so we're right around there. But I mean, like, it was like my parents' friends were like fucking blowing up. Yeah, like I was talking to my aunt for the first time in a long time. It was really cool. Traditional TV watchers catch it. Nobody younger than me reached out to be like, hey, I was flipping channels and came across. Damn.

Yeah, but we didn't flip channels. We just watched it on Hulu. That's true. But TV used to just turn off. God damn. This is the way. Do you even know anyone younger than you? Yeah.

Don't say your kids. How many? How many? What do you? I don't even understand. Like, do you know any 20-year-olds? Do you have any 20-year-old friends in your life? Friends?

Yeah, man. Well, I'm sorry. I realize you don't consider people friends. Well, I don't have any... I don't have any... I don't have any... I've been in, like, friends with people who are younger than me and all that. Okay, work friends.

So I guess... And so, like, I'll get lunch every, like, once a year with a few people who I've worked with before who are in their 20s or early 30s. Wow. That's cool. That's actually better than I do. I don't... Well, I just throw on my wide-leg...

jeans and I say, let's go get a breakfast taco or something cool, a kimchi sandwich or something. I don't know. I put on my baseball hat backwards. Oh, man. That's pretty sick. Young go hard. I like that. And I say, hey, let's go to a vegan restaurant. Yeah, that's real cutting edge stuff. Yeah. A little, little vegan Rubin. I'm mainlining chili with the rest of the people Generation X. Hell yeah, dude. Remember when we, for Kyle's birthday, Kyle was in town, and it was his birthday, and we were all like, hey, let's go get breakfast for Kyle's birthday. Like, you really like that.

And I drove up from Orange County to just for this birthday breakfast. And we then went to a vegan restaurant. And after we all ordered their garbage, disgusting vegan food that left my bowels a wreck. It's pretty good. Water trash. Kyle then goes, oh, I'm not, I eat meat now. I'm not vegan anymore. We could have went to any restaurant.

Dude. That was devastating. I know. Did he suggest it? No, this is a Blake maneuver. It's really good. It's a really good restaurant. I do remember us being like, he's a vegan.

Blake going, let's go here. And you going, fuck that shit. And we're like, but it's his birthday. Yeah, it was his birthday. It was really good. But then, yes, to just throw in our face that he's no longer vegan. We don't know anything about the guy anymore. And that's another reason why he's not allowed back on the podcast.

I'm sorry, dude. It's not that he's not coming back. It's that we're not letting him in. We're not allowed. We're not. We have closed the gate on the arugel lord. I think we announced this, by the way, because the arugelords were like flipping. Have we been doing the podcast longer without him than we did it with him?

It feels like we have. I don't know. There's no way to tell them. There's no way to know. There's no way. Oh, a crazy thing happened to me. Okay. I mean, it's not even that crazy. Like I say, I've said that in the past and I shit out a rotissory chicken string.

Yeah, so we're bracing ourselves. I'm like strapping in, brother. It's not like that. What did you kill, man? On the scale of maggots in your hair to rotisserie string in the poop. Yes. Yes, I did. There was no maggots in my hair and no rotissory chicken string.

Boring. So I met Dittie's house. Go ahead. Yeah. So the other morning, my parents, they were here. They visited for two weeks. My parents were with us. Oh, hell, yeah.

Yeah. It was great. And they were leaving. My dad is on oxygen now. So he has an oxygen. He's got the little, like, does he have a tank or that new school, like, thing where it makes the air? That's super light.

What's that? Well, he has that. But of course. So sick. So guess what? He forgot it. Oh, no. That shit's important.

At your crab? No. He forgot it in Missouri. Oh, fuck. He traveled without it. And then he gets here and he's all out of breath. And he's like, I need oxygen. And I'm like, how did you?

Yeah, man, breathe it in. Welcome to Beach. I'm like, how did you forget the thing that you need to live? Yeah. Are you like blowing in his face? What's happening? It's absolutely insane. So we had to like get an oxygen tank here.

And they could only have like the big rolling one. So he has this oxygen tank. We get an Uber. We scheduled one, or my mom scheduled one, for the next morning. Of course, she spends, like, the absolute cheapest amount you can spend to get the car. And it was, like, I mean, it literally was like, it was tucked. It was like the bumper was duct taped on. I'm not making this up.

It's called Uber Dare. Don't get it. It's like, I dare you to get inside. Yes, points. And then we get out there. my dad, where, where is it? And he's like, I don't know. We said it for this time.

And I'm like, okay. I'm like, well, you know, I have a bunch of stuff to do this morning or else I'd be driving you. And he's like, no, don't worry about it. We got this Uber. It's nowhere to be found. I look up a block. A block and a half up my street, there's a light, there's a car that's held together by duct tape that looks like a piece of shit. It has its blinking lights on, its hazard lights.

I'm like, I bet that's it. My dad's like, why would he be a block and a half away? And I'm like, fuck, if I know, I see the lights turn off. He does a Ui. He comes back to us. He slows down and he goes, I was waiting for you guys. And I'm like, what do you mean? Right.

You should be waiting in front of the house. And he goes, he goes, I just canceled the trip. I was waiting for you guys. And I go, well, you got to wait in front of the home. There's plenty of parking right here. No, I don't. And my dad, and my dad goes, well, are you going to take us to the airport or not? And the guy goes, he sees my dad with an oxygen tube in his nose, with an oxygen tank, holding luggage.

I'm holding luggage. My mom's out there. My wife's out there. I'm holding a baby. Bowe's on the roof. Yeah. And he goes, well, not with that attitude. I'm not.

And I go, what attitude, man? You just canceled the thing. You were all the way up the street. And he goes, I don't like your attitude either. And I go, and then, of course, I'm like, well, I don't like your attitude. Oh, no. This is what happens in two Scorpios made on the streets. Here we go.

And I go, I don't like your attitude. And he goes, I don't have to deal with fucking, I don't fucking have to deal with this. And I go, oh, so now we're cursing. And I go, get out of here, you dusty motherfucker. and I don't know why Dusty said this guy off and he goes Dusty! Dusty! I'm pissed now!

I'm not a dusty motherfucker! Fuck you! Fuck you! And by the way, Hey, bitch! I called him Dusty. He was... Dude, we're

five feet away. We're screaming at each other through his open window of his Nissan. You won't see Dusty? You won't see Dusty? And then he drives away so slowly.

Like one mile. an hour just drives away, screaming curse words out of the window. I'm out of here. So then I had to, then I had to cancel the things I had to do that morning to take, to drive my parents to the airport. God damn. I was hoping you said you had to cancel that Uber and then re-get it Uber and then he just had to come back. Yeah, you guys changed shirts real quick and put on like an accent. What's up, man? We're going to the airport. No, my my mom was devastated. Oh, man.

devastated that she had to, because he canceled, so she had to pay the $10. Oh, fuck. And she was devastated. And it took her the 40 minutes it took to get to the airport to figure out how to get her $10 back. And she was like, oh, thank God. Right. Oh, thank God. And I'm like, well, maybe if we did.

From the back of the Uber XL that you put them in to finally get to the airport. No, I had to drive them. Oh, man. You drove. I canceled my shit because it was just too late. Yeah. You couldn't get a Uber XL like, those aren't cruising? No, well, just kind of down where we live, there's not like Uber's that are just cruising around our neighborhood, really.

So it usually will take another 15, 20 minutes for them to get there. So it was just a total shit show. I'm living in a nightmare. I've never had an experience like that where I think he must have seen once he accepted it and was there, must have seen that it was going to go to the airport. he didn't want to go to the airport? Yeah. Is that how it works? They accept it and then find out?

I think, and then find out, yes. Yeah, and, you know, I think that's kind of like against the code, but... I thought they saw where it goes and all that. But, yeah, that's kind of a bummer. No, I was told that after you fully accept it and you're there, that's when it shows you where it's going. That's probably better. That seems...

No, no, no, that seems... That's unethical, because then someone's going to be like, they're taking me to fucking Indiana now. They said, no, like, you can't be true. It can't. It has to be, they have to know where they're going, otherwise they're going to end up in Long Beach from like, that's what I've been told what it is or else or else if you're going somewhere that they don't necessarily want to go. They refuse your trip. Then they refuse so so you can't get a ride. But I think that that's what happens to me. Sometimes like Uber's just will not pick me up because they don't want to go where I'm going.

No, that's no. Yes, that happens a lot. That is because you're rating. No. I know it happens to you a lot. It's because you're rating. is so low because you get there's without a doubt without a doubt give me the ox

dude give me the ox it's give me the ox it's being so drunk that you like will put your feet on the roof of the car or something where are you from what are you talking about I am a good I am a good passenger

dude I'm like a I'm like a free therapy session you're very drunk I bet 95% of the time that you're in an Uber No, half the time, the ride back, but the ride there, I'm very sober, and I'm very kind. I'm even nicer on the road home. I bet you have a low rating.

I don't. You're tripping, dude. Can you see it or not? I used to have a row. That doesn't mean I do. I have a good rating. I'm at a dusty-ass rating. You're a fucking dusty buster.

Dude, and also to, just to finish that story, Put a bow on it. Just a piggyback. Let's put a bow on it. Let's piggyback it. I don't know why I called it. Well, just because he seemed dusty. Everything about this guy just seemed like he needed to take a shower and put some lotion on.

He seemed dusty. And that's the first thing that popped out of my head. I'm like, are you dusty motherfucker? He's heard before. And that, he must have. He must have been called dusty. He comes from a long line of dust. Yeah.

He must have been called dusty in the past. Yeah. Maybe he was a mummy. And it sent him over the, I've, he went from, he was pretty hot. I would say he was 70% and then he just went 250. He was pretty hot.

Like pretty fuming. Yeah, you get it. Full on. Damn, dude. Would you? And by the way, this is 7.30 in the morning. Yeah. This is not, this is not like, he probably hadn't slept.

Is he the end of his shift or the beginning? Yeah. That sounds like he was probably like delusional. He's on lack of sleep. He thought you said dusky and he's like, that's right. I've been working. It's a dust.

I'm tired. Motherfucker. Punk rock, getting radical. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect.

And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app, search Emergency Intercom, and listen now. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced.

He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are shorthy. short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming and you don't know who's next to you.

And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories.

stories, I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season. of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A foot washed up a shoe with some bones in it. They had no idea who it was. Most everything was burned up pretty good from the fire that not a whole lot was salvageable. These are the coldest of cold

cases, but everything is about to change. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. A small lab in Texas is cracking the code on DNA. Using new scientific tools, they're finding clues in evidence so tiny you might just miss it. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. On America's Crime Lab, we'll learn about victims and survivors.

And you'll meet the team behind the scenes at Othrum, the Houston Lab that takes on the most hopeless cases. to finally solve the unsolvable. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Now, I'm going to preface this by saying, I've texted and driven that's out there, okay?

That's brave of you. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for telling your truth, man. No, what I'm just saying. Hang out. Okay. When you guys are in an Uber, and the drivers just fucking. driving and texting?

No. Are you cool with that? I've never seen a driver text ever. Really? No. Dude, I've been in an Uber before where he's offered me alcohol. Somebody help me! Well, that's cool.

That's five stars. But I'm talking about just your run of the mill, like, on the way to the airport, or is this on the way of the airport? Or is this like, you're talking about like nighttime thing, right? Like a dude's got like a side hustle where he's handing out fucking Bud Light Line. No, no, no. I don't think it was, I think it was maybe like, like 8 p.m.

And he was like, yo, you want to pull of this? And he's like giving you the cup he's drinking out of or he's like, I can sell you a beer. He had a cup in his cup holder.

Yeah. And then, uh, talking about where we're going. Where are we going, bro? I said, yeah,

we had a couple drinks at the crib. Now we're, now we're going to wherever. And it was in Hollywood. And he pulled out a bottle. Damn. Yeah. Uh,

of like, schnapps and was like, well, you want a hit of this? And I was like, maybe. And Chloe was like, do not take a hit of that man's alcohol. You don't kiss me for 30 days. Yeah, that is. But texting and drive. Sure, yeah.

No shnaps for me either. But texting and driving, something I've done, I'm saying. But like, when now I'm in a passenger, like, what am I paying for at this point? If my kids are in the car, I try and not text ever almost, right? But if I'm just driving It can be deadly It's kind of cool Yeah

Wait what It's not what I was expecting I'm like I'm more apt to do it if it's just me If it's just me in the car I will full on be a full I will text Oh I'm making insta videos

I'm making videos I'm having a full on conversation With chat GPT I'm watching movies Do you have any hard fast rules I won't text I don't text going through intersections I have, that's my rules

that when I'm going through an intersection I'm eyes on the road. You put it down? No, no, I just have it off to the side. Out your window? I hold it up. I hold it up like this. Okay.

And I get right back to it. But there's, you are also a, a dictator, a text dictator. Right? Like you talk, you talk. Yeah. I speak to text or whatever. Yes, I don't do that.

That's, that's weird. Why? I don't like that shit. Why? Dude, by the way, I just jumped on the train. It's so great, Blake. really it's the best you have to it's so easy i don't by the way well you're hanging on to your youth you're you're you're clutching on to your youth but is that the

youth yeah sorry you're saying his own youth as opposed to like what young folks are doing now yeah because now people wouldn't know you don't know one fucking 20 year old bro i'm kicking it with 20 year olds dude on the rag yeah it's sad yeah that's sad cool cool question mark question mark Sad, Blake. I'm still going to say that. That's sad, dude. All my friends are 20. So that's not as school.

Hey, member of the Bud. Wise or a commercial. That's not as cool as you think is. I'd be outside high schools, bro. Oh, yeah. That's not as cool as you think it is. Hey, the old guy's back on his lowrider bicycle. What's up, homies?

What's up? Who wants to race? So, you hear the new Tyler, the creator album? What's up? He's 40 now He's 40, we're 40 We're all 40 Ah yeah

What's up? Wait, okay Sorry, we were talking about The talking text I get worried that they won't be able to Like, how do they know When there's like spaces in the words They're not gonna understand me

It usually knows but also If people see it's all fucked up They get it, they don't care No one cares But also if you have a second If you have one second You talk to text You reread it

It might mess up a word you go change the word and it takes you infinitely shorter amount of time than it would have if you just wrote all that out with your thumbs we're also like post spelling and grammar like nobody gives a fuck sure nobody gives one fuck but can you be talking as fast as we're talking now and this is my text send and it would have got that yes why don't you try it out instead of wasting goddamn airtime on the podcast i don't even know how to do it this is not what people tune in for i turned Siri off because I do not trust Siri. I don't want my

phone doing something when I'm... Oh, and you think it's actually off? I... Yeah. I'm just... I can't figure out how to turn Siri on. Hello. I can show you. Hello, baby. Well, we do have to be nicer to Blake, because

someone, and I'm excited for them, to crawl back of my DMs, because this person fucking crawls, a true basement. What is this guy? I can just tell. He has zero followers. That's not real. He just, uh, DMs to get a rise out of people. And, and I love it.

He said, fuck you, you piece of shit. You woke piece of shit. This is how he starts as his DM. Fuck you, you woke piece of shit. Which, by the way, I live in Orange County. I would say out of the three of us, I'm probably the least woke. Okay. Although I am some amount of woke because if not, you're just an asshole.

Sure. You're like waking up. Yeah, you're getting the, the boogers out of your eyes. Yeah, I'm like, wait a second. Adam's like hitting snooze. I'm not fully woke. I'm like, ah. I'm going to hit this.

Hey, if you're woke, then I'm hitting snooze, okay? Then I'm hitting snooze. Wake me. I just woke up. I'm that in-between sleep where you're up, but you know that next alarm's coming. Yes. And for people who are not from the L.A. area, to move to Orange County, says i'm not woke yeah that's yeah that's what it says yeah yeah that's all it well it says i don't

like uh diversity someone shitting on my doorstep anyone darker uh graffiti on my car when i leave for in the morning but so this person was like fuck you you woke fuck uh you and durr's i found out through listening to the podcast are unfunny woke libtards check out okay dokey yeah quit being mean to Blake. He's the only non-woke motherfucker on the pot. Wait, what the hell? That's verbatim. That's verbatim. Yeah. And I'm

like, he was on a show called woke. He starred on a show called woke. Yeah, what the heck? Yes. And I would say he is the most rogue. He refuses to even say homeless person. They're unhoused to this guy. I mean, I'm just trying to be

sensitive. Yeah. You have. But that is really why did he single me out as the unwoke member of the crew I don't know dude well that's what we want to ask you about what does he know that we don't know I don't know yeah what are you saying what are you saying on those

because I know you're on the deep Reddit sublogs deep in the crates fortune I'm running a few rooms saying some real nasty shit so that's what I was assuming I'm just dunking on you guys I just get all my payback in the Reddit rooms you guys shit on me the whole pod

and then I just create my little rebellion in the Reddit room. So I would like to start off apologies, epic slams, giveaways, and whatever the else we say. By apologizing. So this guy got to you. Yeah, man.

Well, I could see, I mean, he got it all wrong. Front to back. But there is something about us making fun of Blake so consistently just because it's a low-hanging fruit, right? Wow, dude. And Blake, do you think we're making, when we gang up on you on the podcast,

Sure. Do you think we're doing it for fun? Yes. Or because we want to understand more? No, I don't think you guys care one bit to understand about me. No. So we're doing it for fun. Yeah, I think, but, you know, to do to do picks.

I mean, it's funny. I like playing that role. I mean, yeah, I'm low-hanging fruit. I mean, everybody has to understand at some point that we've all been friends for a very long time and you know part of our friendship is dunking on each other you think so yeah i also think this is generational i think a lot of younger people don't do this as much yeah i think you're absolutely right that that i feel like our generation and the generations above yeah this is how you very mean became better friends yes yeah yeah with your guy friends is very mean you shit on each other

durs is a robot uh blake is a basement person um um Um, I mean, pick on me. Adams of racist. He's in Orange County. He's a bona fide, uh... No. That is not what you say. I, I'm assuming I, I look like I have Down syndrome.

I don't say that. I've never said that. No one said that. I think you're handsome. You call me, um, you call me a morbidly obese all the time. Never did that. And you pinch my fat. Ever did that.

You did it in Tennessee. You did it in Tennessee. I'm nice to you guys. I don't talk crap about you guys. I like you. We don't talk crap about you guys. You talk crap all the time. To other people.

Okay. Just to each other. Yes. Yeah. We talk crap about you when you say dumb stuff on the podcast. I don't leave here and go, the thing about Blake that drives me crazy. Yeah. Well, and I appreciate that.

I know this is all, you know, for the public. I know you guys really enjoy me in my company. And by the way, when I say something stupid, which I feel like is fairly often. Sure. Yeah. And you guys come from me. Mm-hmm. I love it.

I'm like, yeah, fucking. Okay, sure. Fuck you, I don't care Yeah, it's fine You know what I mean Like it's all It's all fun in games guys We love each other

At the end of the day I love you too dude And I like being taken down a peg I like it It's kind of my kink Yeah, because you're so high You keep you put yourself On a pedestal

I really do I have really high expectation Speaking of pedestals I just want everybody to know That my peta what? Pedestool Peggastus A pedestool

How do you say it Wallet Wow Hello Hello my rating on Uber. Not verified? 4.87 rating.

That's, is that good? Wow. I would say that's pretty good. Yes, I think that's pretty good. So I, maybe another apology is in order because I am very kind to people in the driving transportation industry. Mine's lower. I bet, I bet mine is lower.

Mine used to be very low. I'm 4.73. you're 4.73 so you're a freaking dick yeah but how do you do this how do you do this go to uber and then go to a count in the right hand corner bottom right and then when i but to be fair when i'm riding in an uber i tap on the window either to the left or right and i go no turn this way you're doing it wrong nice they love that they love that yeah and so i'm okay with this rating actually adam can you find it no okay it's not even allowing me to look at it. I think Dusty fucked you up and kicked you off the Uber app. Oh, five

bullshit. What are you? I'm 487. Dersus 5.4.7. What are you're 4.7? I'm 473. You're 48. I'm 477. Oh, so look who has the highest Uber rating. Yeah. The kind, the man of the people.

Is this all you have? Yeah. Fuck off, bro. Fuck off. Wait, but I'm starting to to realize this also encompasses like Uber Eats? I'd never use that. I refuse. You don't use Uber Eats?

No, I don't do any sort of delivery systems. I get it on my own. Why? That's true. Because he comes from, he was a delivery guy. He harkens back to his old day. So you don't want, yeah, so you don't want to support your old industry or? No.

I can do it myself. He is the industry. It's like, you know, if you know how to build a house, you build your house. You know what I mean? So there you go. And that was another episode of this is important. It's important. Oh,ky-dokey.

Woo! Hi, my name is Enya Emanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love, crimes. We're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD, oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app.

Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecraft. where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has.

a story to tell. And the DNA holds the truth. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. This technology's already solving so many cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.