This Is Important - Ep 267: Virtually Slurped

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

Today, this is what's important: Vermin, jizz chair, roadtrip snacks, gaming, audiobooks, AI, & more. Come see us LIVE on November 20th in Las Vegas! Tickets on sale now! Click here for more information about the This Is Important Cruise Feb 22nd-26th!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of IHeart Radio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically, crucially important. Today on This Is Important. I thought maybe it was just like a to-go, like titty fucking dog. So the rats were just feasting on the fucking old crusty cum. Tell you what, that wasn't half. bad

let's go yeah baby guess who's fat I'm your real it's good to see you guys where have you guys been I feel like I've seen you what's up friends what's up fucking

dude is it cold where you're at you're wearing a full coat me oh yeah today's kind of hot as shit out yeah yeah Yeah. Oh, well, all right, cats out of the back. We just filmed a podcast episode. I didn't want to change your shirt, so I put on a jacket to act like it's a different day. Oh, wow. It's the illusion. It's the grand illusion.

I mean, I did the same thing. I just put on a different t-shirt. Yeah, the jacket. Okay. Oh, it's hot out here. Is your office? I thought your office isn't air-conditioned. Is it? Me? Yeah, I'm talking to you. It is. Okay. It is. You're talking to me? It is air condition, but like, it gets loud and then there were people, you know, it's, you know.

It's a whole thing. Hey, Adam, thank you for asking. I'm comfortable. Okay. Thank God, dude. Yeah, I don't want you to be uncomfy. Yeah, I'm good. No.

I'm good. It's natural. The weather's like, oh, muggy out here now. It's like mosquito central. Is it mean mugging you? Oh, the mosquitoes. It's mean mugging. There's so many fucking mosquitoes.

I hate mosquitoes. Dude, have I told you? you guys about the mosquito thing I bought. What? Do tell. Tell me, because I need weaponry. I tell everybody I meet. If I haven't met you, I bring this up. Okay. Please put me on. It's become my new personality.

Okay. There's this mosquito kind of like little, it looks like a vapor, like a vape pen. Okay. Oh, hell yeah. Okay. Okay, now I'm in. But at the end of it, it's got this like blue light. It's a little blue light you turn on. It also like heats up. And if you hold it on a mosquito bite or a bug bite or a bee sting,

it like zaps all the enzymes. The itch is gone. Are you fucking with me. I'm serious. We're in a whole new era. What is this retailing for? I got it for, I think, like, $29. Are they bad up in L.A.?

Because I'm getting zero down here. They are terrible. I don't know if they are on the ocean as much as like inland where there's like sitting water and shit. Yeah. Mine's bad. Like, this is what I was looking for because I went to Lake Arrowhead

like a couple months ago and they had these things on the tree that are bat boxes and it's basically just like a little hub that bats know to go live in and then at night they fly out and they eat hell of mosquitoes. Do they ever?

I'm like, is there any possibility that I could install a bat box in my home in L.A.? Yeah, just put a bat box up. Your neighbors will I'm ready. I'll love. you.

You're just cultivating bats. But they eat the bugs. Well, supposedly a single bat eats 2,000 mosquitoes like a night. That's,

love me gobbles. That's a lot of gobbling, dude. You know, I'd have like a little bat family. That'd be fucking cool. I have them at my other house

and, dude. You have bat boxes? No. They're like in the eaves. Oh, sure. Yeah, they'll like live under your roof. And you can't just zap them.

It's kind of scary. A little bit. because of, like, just the mythology. I don't love that. But, like, you can't just, like, spray them, like, with the hose. I mean, you can't. But, like, they come and get you. You can't just spray them with a hoe.

What do you... Like, because they're, like, a protected species or something. And so, like... They're flying in the sky. They're, like, what do you mean, spray them in the hose? Like, because they are, like, in the eaves. Like, there's, like, an overhang on the house. Oh, the Eaves.

I thought you meant, like, the evening. It's like, they're in the eaves. And I'm like, I forgot. I always shortened shit. They are nocturnal as well, yes. You are correct. Yes, that's what I was thinking. The overhang, like, little nooks and crannies, right?

And they're burrowed up there. Okay, now you're speaking about language. Yeah, like an English muffin, nooks and crannies. Exactly, dude. We saw, like, little dukies on the deck. And I'm like, what? Or is these, like, rats? And then I, like, look up.

And I can see a couple, like, four bats, right? And then, like, then night comes and we're like, let's see if they, like, leave. And then we can, like, spray, like, a mint spray so they don't come back. I think like 20 bats came out of there. They love it. Oh, yeah. They have a little fuck fest. Yeah.

They just be like in a giant pile. Well, if you have bats like in your attic, aren't you kind of fucked? Is it like a rat situation? Yeah. What do you mean? Like they win? They take over. You have to move out.

Yeah. Yes. You have to move out. No, I think it's like a, it's like a rat situation. It's like an infestation. It's really hard to get them out once they're in. You just got to call like the bat people, but the bat people are limited. about what they're allowed to do

because bats are not rats where you could just like put a bunch of traps out and catch them. They have to like brutalize them. Remove the bats and like get like bees. I don't know if you guys have seen this but like you can't just like spray the bees anymore or you

maybe you can but like you have to remove them because we have bees at the crib here and the guy was like there's probably like 50,000 of them and I was like okay could we get rid of them? It's science. I have little kids. I don't want them to get a

thousand bee stings and died like uh i don't want a my girl situation my girl dude thousands and thousands of dollars they milked us dry that's crazy how do they how do they remove the the bees they smoke them out with a vacuum no they legit vacuum them into a bag and then take them to i don't know fucking honeywell or some shit like airhead yeah they just drop their ass off somewhere but the skeeter zapper is out there drop that to me who's who's weirder the bad people or the bee people? The bad people, right? I bet they're the same.

I bet there's a lot of crossover on that Venn diagram. Yeah. Bees and bats? Yeah, because you meet these people that are like, they specialize in, like, a rodent control

or, like, a specific, like a bee or a bad... God bless them. God bless them. They are strange folks. And God bless them. And God bless them. And God bless them.

I'm going to say, I haven't met a strange, one yet the most of the guys I deal with it seems more like I'll fucking do it you know what I mean because they can charge whatever because they're like I'm going under your fucking house

to get rats buddy are you going under there? Yeah fuck that fuck that job fuck that job I think I'd much rather be the bee guy even though it looks terrifying but you suit up and you just kind of like grab the hive and then like put it somewhere else

like the rodent game is like you're going in fucking basements like nasty ass areas Well, you remember when we lived in the workaholics house and we legit were catching dozens of rats in the attic in the attic and in the kitchen and in the bedrooms and in the bathrooms every day, every day we were where there was rat situation. We never called an exterminator, which is how was that even? Oh, yeah, because we were like, we can do it. And it was like, it was to the point I remember I've told this story on the podcast before, but I'm in bed. With my girlfriend, she lives out of state.

This is one of her first times coming, spending the night at this house. She's there. I hear a rat slide underneath our door and walk on the hardwood floor. And she's like, what's that? And I go, I lie because I'm like, I'm not going to fucking say it's a rat in the bedroom. I wonder to have sex with me. So I'm saying the plumbing, it's such an old. house. It's not that old. It was like

built in the 70s. I'm like, oh, that it's the plumbing. It just makes a weird rat like noise. The rat climbed up onto the bed and I felt it on the bed. I kicked it. I like kicked and

acted like I had like a restless leg syndrome where it's like one leg just shoots out. I kicked it. It lands across the room. Let's out a little and scurries off. So wait, wait, wait. So you, instead of just saying it might be a rat, you're like, well, we have a ticking toilet. I've got this restless leg syndrome.

I make little squeaking noises sometimes. That's my tummy. I'm hungry. I don't know if she clocked the rat kick or not. But, yeah, it wasn't a great scenario of that house. But it's terrifying because in any situation you're like, I'm going to. Adam, why are you crying? I just, I'm so happy you were here

What did the rat do to you? I'm not terrified Well remember when I went out of town I think I went out of town for like a week and I came back and the rats had made shit Remember in my bedroom There was shit everywhere

On my bed On the side of the bed They had a party No sir, I don't like it I didn't even have The bed was just laying on the ground And somehow the rats had gotten Along the side of the bed

And shit One million shit pellets everywhere. Shit was everywhere. It was under your laundry. It was like it was bad. It was like in my laundry I had to wash everything. It was bad. And by the way, I don't even think I did. No. I think you went

straight to the improv and got on, fucking killed it. Yeah. I think I was too lazy to do all the laundry. Ders is bat shit like the little pellets like rat shit? Cuono. Is it like a wet doo-do? What does bat shit look

like? How do we identify their Um, it's, there's, I feel like, I feel like, um, one or the other has like a pinch. I think that the mouse, like mouse rat poop has a little pinch at the end of it. Yeah, yeah. And bat, it does not, but they're very similar. This is important. And by the way, filmed this the other day in my backyard. What we got here?

Fucking, when it was about to rain, daytime rat. Oh, hello. That's a long-ass tail, too. That's just a rat coming out to, he's just kind of looking at the, huh, it's going to rain, isn't it? Look at this fucking guy. He's like, well, I'm going to go over here. Look at that fucking tail on that guy. Daylight rat?

Camel work's not great. Durs, did you drop your phone? What happened? It was just a little bit of Blair Witch action. Yeah. Because my kid was like, let me see it. And I'm like, hang on a second. This is not helping.

Is that a commoto dragon? Ready? Where is it? There he is. Look at this fucker. Look at that fucker. Oh, yeah. There he is.

Oh, yeah. They're motherfucker. Blake, do you remember the rat we caught in the office? Remember our office by the pool? The rat that we caught, it was like, five pounds. It's the biggest dead rat I had ever seen. It was several pounds.

The tail was, but like the tail alone. The tail was like that thick. Is this Burbank or is this Van Nuys? This is Van Nuys, baby. This is Van Nuys. You need another four inches. We're Van Nuys guys.

The workaholics house. Where in the office? You know, like the office of your house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the back area. The office of the house. Got it, got it, got it. Yeah, where Kyle made the Wizards album and fucking aliens.

Yes, where we had a weird studio. So the rats were just feasting on fucking old crusty cum, like... Yeah, off of Kyle's chair. Yeah, they're like, dude, we're in your protein loaded. The rats are jacked on protein. That's how they got so big, dude. They were nibbling on wolf. Kyle's office chair was the grossest thing where there was just like cum dripping.

Yeah. No. And he's not, you know, and he's not here to speak. You'd be like, can I check my email? And then you'd see the chair in zero. You sit the chair, it's just like a lot of dry jizz right where his dick would be. And you're like, and we have, we've talked about with him on this pod. So it's a green light.

It's not like he's not here to defend himself. He knows that he had a ton of dried up come all over. I imagine I said this at the time, but also like, there's not a, there's not a towel that you can just sit on because you know, like, oh, that one time a bunch of stuff got on the chair, whether it's a lube or jizz. It's a lack of caring, man. I think it was from a previous house

and he kept the same chair. I think he got better, the older he got and it was the same chair and he never cleaned it or was able to clean it because it was too far gone. But it was in like a public space is the crazy part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At this point,

he did have his own room. But yes, there were some years where Kyle was living solo. He had a couple solo living years. I wish we had a home. But he also, he lived in the Packard House in Mid City. That's where it began.

That's where I remember seeing it. That's where he had the chair, I think, initially, and he had his own room. We all had our own rooms in that house. That was fucking fantastic. It was great. And that's where he was doing all of his chair jizzing.

Water trash. I think I gave him my bed. I think you did too. His room was always so musty, dude. And I want to say that, like, he literally was like, he was like, oh, cool, I got my own bed. And then he jumped on it and, like, immediately it, like, cracked the corner of it.

And I was like, we're done here. I'm not taking this back. Oh, thanks, dude. His room smelled like when you first open a bag of jacklings. Like, the waft that hits you. Like, when you open the door to his bedroom, it legit smelled like a pack of jacklings.

He's got the little square of paper in there. I thought the saskatch was like. Kyle lived, off of just I mean I like we're talking about like our friend as if he had died you know like just reminiscing about all the good times that's gonna be cool

it's because he would eat so many bags of chips he lived off chips yeah so he would leave so he would just keep a bag of chips he would eat most of it and then just leave it open and out so you would open it's like it's like a Doritos it's a fritos

it's a corn it was the the stinky ones like sour cream and onion and what's a cheddar, sour cream. Those, as delicious as they are, they are stanking. They are stanky. Chili fritos. Like corn nuts, eating corn nuts.

And you're like, ranch corn nuts. Dude, by the way, if you are on a road trip, if you're on a road trip and you all go in to get snacks, and someone comes out, and this is Kyle, if someone comes out and he has corn nuts, yeah, get out the car. You should kick him out the car.

You should kick him out the car. Or you have to say you have to We'll sit here at this gas station And you can eat your corn nuts now Then you can buy a water Rinse your mouth out In order and buy a pack of gum Shoe that and then you can get back in the car

So this is about bringing the funk into the vehicle Into the car Because it is such a stank It is a true stank They are delicious I will give you that I love a ranch cornut But if you rush eating corn nuts

You break your teeth off There's a chance you're chipping tea Yeah. It's because some of those corn nuts are hard a. F. Extra nuts. What are your go-to road trip snacks? Yeah. I love a Frito like honey barbecue twist.

I think those are really delicious. Frito, Frito, Frito, honey barbecue. Oh, the twists. Well, Frito. Yeah. There's no D in it. Frito. Not yet.

Not till I get a hand out. I'm going to put my dick in the bag. It's not Frito. Frito. Would you got him that bad? Look, man, I'm from the Bay. We say things differently, okay? We say things differently, okay?

I know, dude. God. And the fact that I saw some comments on the David Chang thing, and a girl wrote exactly that. And they're like, I hate when they make fun of how he pronounces things because I'm like, wait, it's pronounced differently. And I'm like, Blake, you've lived not in the Bay for 25 years. So. Sticks with you, though. That's how I learned the language.

So you want him to change it? Yeah, that's how I learned the language. Yeah, so, I mean, I stop saying pop. I say soda. You still say Ray Road, though. I don't say Ray Road. You still say Ray Road, bitch. I don't say Ray Road.

My dad's from Missouri. He said Ray Road. I don't say railroad. It's okay. Just is what it is. You say shirt. You say shirt, you say shirt, it's all true. It's all true.

Wait, I gave my gas. Because I'm curious. What else do you guys? You just go straight, salted. No, I'm sorry. What is your go-to snack from, for a road trip? Well, I am a Celsius. Well, I mean, that'd be delicious.

Yeah, I would probably do a nerds rope. Okay, that a boy. You keep that on the side. That's my guy. Then as the base, you got to go with like a salted almond, like a flavored almond. Like those wasabi almonds. Oh, my God. Those are the shit.

Yeah. Almond feels like a responsible snack that's also very delicious. And then a little stinky, and this is debatable. And sometimes I'll bring it on planes and people give me side eyes. Rotissary chicken. No. Oh, my God. No.

Like a jerky, a jerky of some sort. Yeah, of course. Hopefully local. Hopefully local. Yes, you try to find the fun local brand or something that is a little more. specific to the region. I love local jerky. But also Jack Link's, it rocks too.

We get down with that. I love local jerky, though. Sometimes they just fucking... Hey, I'll fuck up an old trapper, too. Hello. I'll get it twisted. That's what I heard about you. Yeah, I'll fuck up an old trapper jerky.

Oh, righty. I definitely get like a big water, and then I get a five-hour energy drink or two. There we go. So I could just shoot it, but then I'm drinking water. so my teeth don't get all like I will for sure get like a Reese's sticks four pack situation

Oh my God You don't Because it's fun I can either go This is all mine Or I can be the fun guy Who wants stick? You want a little stick?

They're light They're airy They check a box for me And yes Blake Well you've got more Well I'm That's like a kick cat But it's Reese's

Is that what? I don't know if I've had a stick wafer, it's like a chocolate covered wafer and peanut butter. That sounds delicious. Todd, give us a Reese's stick and the, I'm in. I mean, I'm a huge fan of everything Reese does. And I'm a fan of yours. Thank you. I don't think

I've ever said that. Yeah, I would say, I would get a water too. I, you got to get a water. Because the water like, when you go to the checkout, you're like, and I got the big smart water too. And I got the water. So, yeah, I'm not a total to generate. And then so you get the water,

but then also you got to get something with caffeine and if I'm off the energy drinks, if I'm on the energy drinks, I'd get a big ass sugar-free Red Bull. But if I'm off the energy. I would get a Zowa. I don't know about you guys. Yeah, Zoha energy. I don't know if it exists.

I sometimes mix, you know, if I'm really need to stay awake, if I'm driving, I would do, I would get my go juice. I'd get my eyes. Right. I would get a sparkling water and then I would get an energy drink and mix it and put it in a cup. bingo bango wango tango i'm ready to try perfect but if not i'm just gonna go with a like a coke z a cherry coke z love that oh baby

i'm a big local jerky guy you know if it's just like mike's around the corner jerky guy you know if it's just like like in a shitty weird bag love it around the corner and jerk mike i love a shitty weird bag but i am also a like if they have like a uh a saran-wrapped cookie at the counter. Okay. Yeah. Like a big one, you know, like a big kind of... I know what you're saying.

I'll give that a shot. I'll give that a shot. I know what you're saying. I love it. Great call. Also, in at these, I'm specifically thinking, really the only time I road trip are, is like, what I'm in Nebraska. And I...

Omaha. We do a hunt once a year. And I'm going to go in a few weeks where we go, we fly into Omaha, and then, And we drive like two and a half hours up to the Omaha, South Dakota border, and that's where we hunt. And there's a gas station that we always stop at that has very local chips that are Larry the Cable Guy chips. And they have all kinds of flavors.

And I always got to get a bag of Larry the Cable Guy, Dill Pickle chips. Larry the Cable Guy Chips. Get her done. Get her done, babe. Get her done. Did they just, do you think it's just like rap snacks and they rebranded it Larry the cable guy in that area? No, I think Larry's making him, Blake. I think Larry's doing his own baking and air fryer at home.

I think he's doing his own thing. He's Larry the cable guy, man. Especially in Nebraska, he's got a lot of pull. I told you guys, I was as a celebrity guest years ago now for the Cornhuskers, and I was there and they're like, Yeah, ladies gentlemen, I'm, like, waving, you know. And then I'm talking with Eric Crouch, who won the Heisman, who I found out we had the same birthday, so that was fun, and the mayor of Omaha.

And so, like, these are some power players. And then someone comes up to me and goes, excuse me, Adam, Larry the cable guy would like to see you. And they're like, well, you got to go. And I'm like, I've been summoned by Larry the cable guy. And then they took me, they. they took me up to him. He has his own suite.

That's his all the time. Yeah, for sure. That's decked out in his stuff. Yeah. And you go in. Coolest guy. Nicest guy. I was with Chloe.

He was asking her all types of questions. You can't go in with those sleeves on, sir. Yeah. He was the man. Big shout out to Larry the cable guy. Yeah. And now my kid watches cars all the time. So I have even a bigger appreciation.

All day. Oh, yeah. He's, he's, uh, Maider or whatever. Have you watched Cars 2? I have. They're all good. Cars 2 sucks.

You're off of them. Cars 2 is not as good. They kind of give the movie to Mater because I think it's twofold. And maybe this is a little too inside Hollywood. But I think Owen Wilson was like off the fucking rails at this time. And they were like, we need to make a sequel. And they were like, we don't exactly know where he is.

And I think that Larry was also, Mater was like the big. I'm doing crack. Breakout star. He popped from the first ones. They were like, let's make it the Mater movie. I mean, I'm a big mater guy. Three is pretty good.

Three gets back on track. We haven't gone to three yet, but one is an absolute banger. And my kid, it's, I mean, we said we weren't going to do it until he was at least two to, like, let him watch movies and stuff. But we let him watch just a few minutes of it. And now every day he comes down and points to the TV and goes, car, car, car, car, car. It does that incessantly until you finally have a meltdown yourself and you break down, you're like, fine, fucking, we'll put on cars. Shut the fuck on.

We'll put on cars. Just don't give them your phone. I have not given them the phone. Just promise me, just promise me, you won't give them the phone. Because that's when it's over. They're going to need that phone every damn day. Everyone I know who gives their kids the phone, it's over. Their kids are on crack.

And the parents love it because it's the answer. They're like, here, don't be on crack over there. We'll be going to have an adult conversation. Yeah, we're not giving him a phone. We're not giving him an iPad. Don't do it. You've got to resist the Tim. Hold out.

Just hold out. Until, like, an airplane. Like, if they're on an airplane, great. That's the one time where he's allowed. We're like, okay, you can watch the iPad on the airplane. And by the way, he wants to watch it for like 15 minutes. And he's like a little kid. So he's like, okay.

Yeah, I saw that, Miss Rachel. Now what? And you're like, do you want to walk up and down the aisles and say hi to everyone and annoy a lot of people. Right. It's, it is funny how many people, because it's a very cute kid, and he's, and he just goes and goes, hey, hey, hey. I would say 85% of people love it and think it's very cute.

Those people that don't like it, I've never felt this way. If someone, like, gives my kid a side eye, I want to break their nose, like, how they teach you in Taekwondo, where you do that, and the bone shoots back up into the brain, and it kills them immediately. That's what I want to do. Your Honor, Exhibit A, the podcast for Adam Devine said he wanted to murder someone. Yeah. And now he did it.

That's what I want to do to them because they gave my kid like a side eye. And, you know, I get it. They're on a plane. They don't necessarily want to interact with children, but fuck them. Wait, it's quick sidebar. So remember I was wearing the weight vest the other day and da-da-da-da. I was wearing it. I was taking it off.

Speaking of noses going into brains. And I kind of like hopped up to like get it off. and the front plate just blasted my nose. And I was like, oh, no. I was like, my life didn't flash before my eyes, like last week. But, dude, I was like, what if I just died trying to get a weight vest off? Taking a weight vest off? A vital destination moment.

Knock your front teeth out? That would be a bummer. Nosed brain. Yeah, I, but dude, when I see parents out, and look, everyone do your thing. but when I see parents out like we were just at the zoo the other day speaking of zoos last week there's just kids on their phones at the zoo and I'm like yo there's a real

yeah there's real gorillas right there elephant there's a rhinoceros right here yeah fucking thing sucks why are the parents like sure here sure I'm just like it's crazy you're out to dinner the kids are just zoned out all of them on their own thing so the parents can talk and I understand the idea behind it but sometimes you just got to

fucking teach your kids how to be out in the world. You gotta give them a crayon. Come on, man. Give them a crayon. Fucking go wild. We were at Nobu. Hello. My wife and I. Maybe... No way. Which is a fancy, you know, sushi place.

Yeah. And sushi restaurant. And we... I call them places. Sushi. Places. Yes. And it's a fancy restaurant.

A dojo. We were having like a date night and, you know, without the kid. Yeah. And the table next to us was two kids. and the parents and the parents are they're having her date night but their kids are with them full on laptop gaming setups

wearing headsets oh shit that's kind of tight full on gaming at no boo wow dude it was crazy and these kids are like they were a little older they were like 12 and 10 something like that even worse because I'm like they can add to the conversation you can tell them about what's happening in the world

I know I'm like wait wait wait wait wait though that could be their job They could be making thousands of dollars. What if you're twitching, man? What if your kids are... They're probably picking up the tab at Nobu. I mean, that's true, dude. What if they're the main source of income?

They're like, Dad, I got this. They might have owned the restaurant. Come on. Good call. You don't know. They could be sponsored by Mountain Dew. They're paying for Nobu. I'll take that walk, yeah.

Thank you. I was playing Call of Duty the other day. And I finally ran into my first world ranked Call of Duty player because their skin, it said, like, World Bank. This guy destroyed everybody. Yeah. It was like, we all had like six kills, and he had the 30 kills, and he won. Yeah.

It was wild how good he was. And I'm like, I mean, and he probably was like 14 years old. Yeah, a few years back, I did like a Mountain Dew tournament, and I played, my teammate was this kid named Priesta, and he's like a legit, like, professional calling. You remember the name? Yeah, dude, Prista. That's my boy. He was fucking nice.

with it, but he, like, he, like, he held the controller different. Like, he called, it was called like a claw. He, like, made a new way to hold controllers. I met his parents. They couldn't be more stoked on him. How old was this kid? Oh, you were, you were at a thing. Got it. Okay. I thought you were online. I think he was, like, 16 or 17? Like, pretty young, too. Like, still lived at home, but, like, they would fly out to do these tournaments, and he just, like, wrecked shop. Well, that's cool. If that's, if you literally are that great, and that's your thing. Yeah.

Then you're, that's your thing. Yeah. I don't think that these kids were at that level. Well, you gotta let them play to practice, man. Yeah, that's,

that's fair enough. Fair enough, like. I'm remembering this story a little more. The one kid was full on gaming. The other kid is DMing his girlfriend. And it was like, taking dickpigs.

No, it was like the cutest little exchange. How'd you see it? Like, we could read it because it was huge. It was huge. He had it blown up on, because it's on a full-on laptop

and it was like massive. And so Chloe and I are like... Well, now you and Chloe are looking at the laptop. A lot of like winking faces. I'm like, this is kind of cute. I mean, it's cute until it takes a wild turn. And you're like, oh, Jesus. Oh.

Whoa. Oh, honey. We'll take the check. I understand that some people are like, you know what? It's cheaper than getting a sitter and we want to have date night. Sure.

But guess what? Get a crayon, bitch. Just get a sitter. Get a crass. Get a sitter. Hey, also, you're going to Nobu. It's going to be an expensive night. It's the new, like, bringing the dog on the airplane.

I mean, the kids ate. Right. So it was expensive. Yeah. Babysitter are expensive these days. Yeah, that's a while. To bring the kids to Nobu's... I don't know, man.

Are they even eating sushi? I thought I was a kid. Oh, by the way, we're taking Bo to Nobu tonight. So... Yeah. Get the phone out. It does happen. We have, like, a 5 p.m.

reservation. and... This is the way. Bo's actually great at restaurants because we go out to eat quite a bit. But you just have to, like, you order... He likes to eat lemons. He loves lemons.

So you go, hey, give us a glass of water with a lid and some lemons and a cup of ice. Right. They go get that. Then we walk around. One of us walks around with him for a little bit until that gets there. Then you put him in the chair.

He eats lemons. He eats some ice. He just eats his water He just eats lemons That's a Hollywood diet A little cayenne pepper We order Then we walk him again

Walk him around the restaurant You know Show him some cool stuff Right Then we come back Hopefully the food is there We give him Oh you know

Whatever food that we can give him There at no boo That daddy doesn't eat That daddy doesn't eat And then and then hopefully You know it's a great experience Wow He's eating solid food now right

Oh yeah So he can eat sushi right pizza pizza i don't know if you can eat sushi i don't one i don't think you would like it but my kids they fucking eat it bro i'm like the midwesterner in me is like yeah huh what yeah my dad still he's like but it's not cooked and then we take him to nice restaurants you know nice sushi and then he'd eat it and he goes tell you what that wasn't half bad yeah and i'm like yeah dad it's really nice sushi that shit's important but just psychologically it doesn't enter the chat. It ain't right. It's like, it's right. It's for out there. Yeah.

Yeah. He's like, why it'd be better if they cooked it? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't think I had sushi for the first time until my like mid-20s, probably like with you. Yeah. I didn't even touch the stuff. Mm-hmm. At a grocery store. Yeah. Yeah. I'm still surprised that you've even tried it. I love sushi. I think it's delicious. Yeah, we ate sushi together. We, we mean, you had a little fun date night in San Francisco. We did. I just was looking at. I saw, all those picks in my phone the other day. And I'm like, oh, that was, that was a nice, that was a nice dinner. Just me and Adam Allen.

Yeah, and I was surprised that you actually were eating the sushi. You guys give me a lot of shit. Because for years and years, you wouldn't, or we would go and you would eat like terriaki. You'd get like a terriacchi bowl or whatever. But look at him now. He's eating fucking seafood soup. Live on television.

You saw me. You saw me. I ate a clam. Did you crack open any of those crab legs? No, because we didn't like. Like, how the fuck? At David Cheng Live. Uh, dinner time live.

Yes. Yeah. Yes. From last week. Yes. I did not, uh, break into the crab legs. Mm-hmm. I don't, by the way, they didn't give us any tools to break into the crab legs.

Exactly. So, you, you, you had to snap them with your hands. Mm-hmm. Actually, I kind of forgot that. Now that we're talking about restaurants, I got a really cool thing sent to my, my home from a restaurant that we're all pretty, pretty stoked on. Here we go. Did you guys?

Did you guys? Oh. Oh, my, oh, my God. Evidently, Twin Peaks heard us talking, and I got a gift box from Twin Peaks. Get ready. What's in the, what's in the box? Here's what happens.

Isaac, because he told me, he's like, I got a thing from Twin Peaks. I'm like, what was that? And he's like, the restaurant, the restaurant. And I'm like, okay. And then he doesn't give it to me. So, sir. I'm going to come. No, it's better.

It's better than a t-shirt, guys. Okay. You're going to want Isaac to send this to your house because... Is it a frosty mug? They have a great review. Holy moly. Yee. What is that?

It is a mouse pad. Oh. With huge chitties. Can you imagine? Wow. Sending that up the chain of command to be like, and we need to make these? Wow. By the way, and I hope that guy is now the CEO of the company because he has brilliant ideas.

It took me a while to figure out what it was. I thought maybe it was just like a to-go, like, titty-fucking doll. But I think it's a go-titty-fucking doll. Yeah, like you take it on an airplane with you. You go in the bathroom. So for just the audio listeners, it's a mouse pad with huge tits. For like to rest your wrist on. By the way, that looks mad comfortable.

It feels hell of good, dude. It's squishy. I'm having wrist issues from, you know, you're working on the computer and writing so much of good. Sweetheart, the doctor gave it to me. I have to have it, all right? For my carpool. Wait, but are you using a mouse, Adam? No, no.

Well, I mean, looking at that, I want to start. I want to start. I'm using a mouse still. Well, I'm just going to kind of put this next to my lazy boy and just rest my wrist right there. Yeah, sure. It's comfy. It's nice. I got a feeling that you won't be resting that wrist very long.

And that's where you put your, put your dick through that? What is that? Is that it to go, to go body fuck? What is that? A little dick suit. It's a coozy. Okay. It's a coozy.

Or you can stick your dick through the top and it wears a little jersey. And then I got a hat, which is pretty cool. The hat is pretty sick. So shout out Twin Peaks, man. Yeah, it's a huge. That's big time, big time gift box. I haven't read the note, but it's, you didn't read the note. You got to read the note first.

Oh, it's so sweet. Oh, that's really kind of. That's the personal touch. What is it saying? It says we heard an episode loud and clear, bring back. restaurants so we're answering the call with a mouse pad that has huge titty i mean shout out now should should we invest like i know you know like people you know people in our position they they they put their money where their mouths are and our mouths where they want their mouths wrapped around

we want our mouths to be well it says if this is important ever wants to post up at a place with cold beer scratch food and hotter views twin peaks is locked and loaded so boys Scratch food. Yeah, what does that mean? Like, biscuits? Well, that's like a golfing reference. No, I think it's like made from scratch as opposed to like frozen wings that show up at Hooters. That's probably their like angle.

Oh. Okay. That's nice. But yeah. You think that shots fired at Hooters? I think so. Oh. Well, what team are you guys?

Well, I mean, I don't know if I've eaten out of Twin Peaks. Don't do that. Don't do that. Yeah. Where's the closest one? We don't need to be divided any longer, guys. No. This nation is divided too much.

There's room enough for Hooters and Twin Peaks. Of course. I misspoke. Hey, right left, wherever you are sitting. Let's meet in the middle. Let's meet in the middle. Right at Twin Peaks. Hi, this is the CIA Nation telling everyone we need to meet in the middle.

Right here. We got me right in the middle. Message received. Thank you. I.I. Captain. Oh, boy. Thank you, Twin Peaks. Oh, that's nice.

The rhetoric has never been toned. Feels good. That is nice. I love that. I love that. Mm-hmm. When was the last road trip you guys have been on? I mean...

I drive pretty often. Yeah, I drive to the Bay Area like three times a year. I've driven to Oregon before. That's... Not short. That's a hell of a drive. How far is that? I did that for New Year's.

It was kind of, there's a, what's the mountain range you go through? That's kind of brutal. It was like snowing through there. Yeah. They were, it was like a,

uh, chain's situation. Yeah. True nightmare. How long is that drive? What do you, what do you look at? Um,

I mean, uh, I had like a book on audio book or whatever. Mm-hmm. Uh, but doesn't your GPS just tell you? I mean, I drove through a fucking,

no, he doesn't, he can't tell time, do me. What? He judges by books. Doesn't your GPS just tell you it's six and a half hours or however long? Oh, you're sorry, yeah, yeah.

I didn't know how many miles it is. I don't know what to know how many chapters of your audio book you read. I thought you said, what are you looking at? And I said, I'm not looking at anything. I'm listening. Okay, great. Anyway. Fuck it.

I think it's like 17 hours in an EV where you got to like stop. I don't know, five times in charge for 40 minutes. Oh, that's rough. That is rough. It's a big one. 17 hours. And then you, I mean, you're stopping, right? You're stopping, you're spending the night somewhere.

Yeah, I did a total, yeah, where is it like, not Carson. Carson, not Carson. Somewhere up there. No, no, no. There isn't Carson. Carson is just in L.A. No, somewhere like just north of, northwest of Chico. City of Carson.

What is that up there? Okay. Paradise. I don't know. Anyway, I stopped it like a literally like, yeah, it was paradise. And just laid down in the like, shittiest hotel bed possible. Like, I'm like, I don't want to pay anything.

I'm just going to be here for like six hours sleeping and then I'm going to wake up and hit the road. Just lay down, like, coffin style. What was the purpose of doing this, Jers? You just needed to get a lot of shit up there. Yeah, exactly. Because you have a place up there. You have a cabin, right?

Yeah. And so you just need to transport a certain amount of shit. Yeah, TVs that, like, I don't use here at the house anymore that we could put up there, all sorts of stuff. Yeah. That's cool. You did the trip by yourself. yourself, 17 hours.

I did. I did. That's legendary. That's legendary, bro. That car lives up there now? Or you turn around and drove back? No. And then we all drove back.

Oh, with the whole fam. They all flew. I mean, the Rivian is fucking sick. I mean, I was in a legit blizzard and just gunning it. Dude, that shit is scary, dude. I for sure should have died. Every time I'd pull behind a truck,

you're getting like the residual wind and flurries and it's like rolling hills a lot so like you're trying to go around and then you're just like but what if a car is just on the bottom of a rolling hill and then just pops up as soon as I'm right there yeah that's the danger of that you're dead but I'm here to tell the tale uh what what book was it because I am curious uh what you slap on the audible I I finished one book Twin Peaks no what was oh it was the Tarantino like movie book where he just talks about movies and shit. I had finished that and then started

Stephen King The Shining. The greatest movie ever. Which, by the way, super fucking boring. The book is not as good as the movie, I don't think. It kind of gets a little weird. Here's what I know about myself. Too many words.

I just, I can't, if, I'm just like, I don't care. I'm a fucking idiot. There's like a literal, literal whole chapter or more where the dude let's just say Jack Nicholson

so we know what we're talking about here right is in the basement of the hotel reading newspaper excerpts so you get like

a little history of the hotel and like mobsters used to be there and like somebody who had missing and like a wife on an affair

and da da da and it's like you're just reading newspaper excerpts and I'm like you're like okay this could have been

like two pages long I don't give a fuck and it's well written and like it's it's interesting and you see how it makes him go like a little crazier because like crazy things have happened there and he's it's way more about him being an alcoholic i do like that uh audio books are such a thing now i enjoy an audio they're the best well now that now that i'm driving so much that i live down here uh in orange county and then i'm up in l a all the fucking time so it's like an hour and a half up and then sometimes when

you're coming back it can be two and a half hours down you know And just being in the car, you know, it's nice to feel like you're learning a little something. A little something. And not just, not just listening to old Glynquant82. I was going to say the same Glequanty two song. And Kid Cuddy over and over and over again. It's been a minute since I did it in the Kid Cuddy. Yeah.

One, two, three. Oh, boy, here we go. One, two, three. Was that a vampire weekend as well or I don't know. That was that time. Yeah, we went through a little vampire weekend phase too. Yeah. I'm trying to remember

the guy who reads the guy who reads the book though is fucking crushing it he's an actor his name's Campbell Scott you've seen him in movies he was in like Roger Dodger and you'd recognize him he's like a super clean cut business honky type guy executive type is he got a silky voice or he really does

and he changes it for people like the little kid and like the mom I feel like if your thing is doing audiobooks your job's done AI is coming for that job right now. I feel like that is that is already probably happening and we don't even realize. Fucking thing sucks. Yeah, I've been hearing some some AI like radio ads and you can tell. I mean, it will in a couple years.

Yeah. By the end of the year, you won't be able to. Yes, even even some songs like I saw like this guy, he was like, this is Nickelback, but a R&B soul version of it. And it was legit, very good. And the guy was like

lip-seeking. So for a second, I'm like, oh, is he the one singing this? But then he missed a few words. So I'm like, oh, he just lips. And then I was like, oh, it's AI. God damn it. We're doomed.

We're done. We're doomed. I feel like every podcast I've watched or listened to in the last couple weeks has been about this. And it's, the thing

everyone talks about it's like the atrophy where it's like first of all we're leveling the playing field now everybody knows everything which is kind of cool because like if you couldn't go to college like now you know everything that somebody went to college and like AI can do a ton of things and if someone's like a like a specialized in some field and they know all the stuff they're no longer specialized because you're now just pulling it up on your phone and sooner later it's going to be connected to our brains but then what happens in chapter two when we're all like,

well, you don't have to do anything because we just know everything and no one knows anything. And no one knows anything. And then all of a sudden, it stops working or something happens. Exactly. And then we're like,

da, da, da, da. Exactly. But also, what do you want to do? Jerkoff. Like, why are you waking up in the morning? Jerkoff.

Jerkoff, right? Exactly. Like, how primal do we get? Our chairs are going to be covered. I want to be virtually slurped no one stop. I want my wrist resting on my Twin Peaks outside. I just want to be gobbled.

No, but that's what's going to happen. Like, anybody who innately likes hard work and doing stuff, I guess you'll be fine. But I would say that's only 30% of people. Maybe I'll say four eyes. Maybe less than that. Yeah, maybe less, I would say. It depends how hard we're talking,

how hard the work is. I like medium work. And everyone else is looking for shortcuts or to chill and I get that for sure but man you're gonna be fucked it's a very it's a very scary time to be alive because who doesn't want to know everything

we all want to know everything that's why when we we're like what was the name of that person that movie we just whip it out from our phone instead of going we don't know yeah I used to like try to hold that knowledge in my head yeah no like like when I was a kid I would just read the back of like comic cards just to like

memorize stats and just store that information, strength, intelligence. You know they're real, like, why do I need to know dexterity? Magneto's name is Eric. Or like, yeah, I would look at like the back. I would study the back of like baseball and basketball and football cards. And you're like, you want to know their stats

and you want to be able to like talk to your friends and know all that. Now you don't, now the kids, they don't even care. Because they know AI. What did I see? Someone posted something the other day where like a person made a phone call. And they were like, and everyone just, like, knew everyone's phone numbers. That's like...

They, like, didn't believe the movie. People... Because they're like, that's impossible. And it's like, actually, we did, and it's crazy. And I'm sure we all remember our best friend's phone number from when we were in middle school. I've got Kyle's. That's the only one I know is Kyle's phone number.

Yeah. I got a couple. Yeah, it's weird when it comes back to you. Like, I just... Let's give them out. Let's give them out. Kyle's, I think, is still is. Yeah.

Yeah, mine's still mine. Never changes. I'm never, never changed. But yeah. Or remember you would have that like raggedy ass thing that you'd keep in your wallet of like everybody's number? I would keep like just like a sheet of like a little one sheet that's this big like on the back of like someone's card. And then you write really small and try to write everybody's number on that and you'd whip it out and be like, collect call. I think my dad gave me one of those for like emergencies if like he went missing.

That's a good call. Like a little laminated emergency. C-card? Yeah, something like that with like my grandparents' number and shit or whatever. That's a great call. Mine was not laminated. Any tape-backs, any apologies, any epic slams here, boys? I mean, shout out to

Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks, I mean, God, damn. God, damn! I hope you guys have this in the mail. I hope we get that. I hope we get that same. It's going to be cool. Isaac has already given that to his son. That seems like a limited edition situation. I really just, I can't wait to just

watch football. and do this. Yeah. Blake, relax there, buddy. And why are you squeezing it like that?

It's just aggressive. Yeah. It's not a real woman. It's just, it's just jelly, man. Yeah, that's how it starts.

That's how it starts. Jeffrey Dahmer was cutting open animals. It's not a real woman. Yep. It's not a real woman. Fucking deaf people. It's just jelly.

All right. Takebacks, apologies, Epic slams. I'm good. I thought. Yeah, I mean, huh.

I'm glad I can shout it out priest of my boy. I got to tap in with him. He's so sick, dude. Hey, I'll just say if your parents out there and you're bringing a whole laptop setups to the restaurant, I get it. If you're trying to get your kid to go pro with virtual e-gaming, this is a job of the future.

You guys, I get the crayon thing as well, but sometimes we got to pay these bills. Somebody got to buy this no-boo and maybe it's my kid. And big shout out to Blake, I think that might be his first take, Adam? Yeah, honestly. Thank you. Yeah, that was pretty cool. Yeah, that was pretty cool. you had a thing to say on the podcast.

It's nice to meet you finally. Thank you. I finally had something to say. Yeah. And here goes my slayer. I won't. I won't. I shouldn't.

I didn't. I don't. And that's another episode. If this is important. Yeah. I love it. You love him? Perfect.

Yeah, baby. This is an IHeart podcast.