This Is Important - Ep 27: Have You Bought Our Merch Yet?

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

Today, this is what's important:The Super Bowl, Bruno Mars, party music, Affliction, fashion looks coming back, ASMR, merch, carnival games, repping college gear, childhood profanities, the birds and the bees, sex education classes, Adam creeping on his friends hooking up, smoking cigarettes, and more. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about

what's obviously the most critically important issues on the planet. Today on This Is Important? We're touching it. You're going to go blind. Damn, I just went back to the fucking carnival in my head. Holy shit. It was weird that we were both naked outside doing jumping jacks when I told them everything. I was up in my daddy's nuts just fucking jamming the black street. Buckle up. I'm so excited. Oh my god. Hello, America, Canada, Australia.

Keep it going. Keep it going, Blake. Harder. Harder. I'm so excited. Hello. Oh, man, it is loud this week. That is basically us screaming let's go into the microphone for two minutes straight to start off the pod. Yeah, let's go. I like it. It's got me fucking going, dude. What's up, my dude? The amount of let's goes, because I was just, I was in Covid City, USA, Tampa for the Super Bowl, and the amount of let's goes surprisingly less. We counted. We only counted 12 let's goes. Only 12. From who? From random people. Not me and my friend,

Zach, that I took. Not the two of us, although we said it about 35 times to get people going. For sure. But I only 12 times total in the whole day. Only 12 audible let's go. So maybe it's dying down. We don't know. Wow. Maybe the let's go era is fading out a little bit. Possibly. I wonder what the next thing is. Hopefully we're moving on to something else. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be nice. I agree. It's come on, give it to me. Come on and give it to me. I mean, I wouldn't mind a little if we just did that. That'd be really cool just like hearing little kids open up their presence. Yeah, they're just like, Oh my God, PlayStation 5. That would be tight. I'm down with that. I mean, how close are we to having people

just have sound boards though? Right? We're like, you just have an honor and you can just hit the trigger. And we're no longer expressing us just like we don't use words in texts. We use emojis. Now we're going to have sound boards. Let's ask Elon Musk. Yeah, for sure. And the way, like a GIF is such a great way to communicate with people. My goodness. I mean, you've got all the fucking Bluetooth speakers that you can just throw and you're connected to your phone that is a sound board. It's only a matter of time. You're right. That's walking sound boards. Right. You just need a speaker jacket to rock. That's it. Yeah. A speaker jacket would be fucking sick. Doctor, here's the deal. I've got really explosive.

If I'm in the waiting room and I hear somebody come in and do that, I fucking my day is better. Yeah. You know, it'll get your pecker hard. That's for damn sure. That would get my pecker hard. My pecker is hard a lot of the time, but that would get it harder. Yes. Correct. Uh-huh. Wow. Nice. Wow. You guys look great. I'm actually kind of pumped. Even though you mentioned the Super Bowl, I'm drinking a aluminum bottle. These things send me right to the stadium. They send me right to the cruise ship outside of the stadium. Oh, dude. That too. That's right. We went to a Super Bowl. I actually told the story the other day where Ozzie Smith walked out of our show. He was so disgusted by our level of comedy that we walked Ozzie Smith,

the famous St. Louis Cardinal baseball player. The Wizard of Oz. Yeah, the Wizard of Oz. He actually did backflips the entire way out. That's how much he hated it. Yeah, he stole the show with his backflips. Everybody followed him because they're like, that show is better. That's what's wild. Like the one Super Bowl I've been to, and I feel very blessed to be able to say that. I know not everybody has that opportunity. We saw the worst Super Bowl in New York. It was the Seahawks Broncos and the Broncos got bombed on, dude. Destroyed. I remember we all were like, yo, let's just get decked out in gear because it was, wasn't like our team. None of us had like a dog in the fight. So we're just going to Super Bowl

and we were all like, yo, let's just get decked out and not tell each other and just show up like full head to toe in whatever team we're like, hell yeah. And you guys all came rocking Seahawks gear, which was the correct move. And I went the other way and I'm like, Broncos, baby. And I'm like, I had a hat. I had a jacket. I had a whole thing. And then from the very first snap, there was like a safety like immediately. You lose. He snapped it over his head and somebody else got recovered. Yeah. Yeah. And then it was nonstop people like standing up like over top of me being like, fuck you, Adam. Your team sucks, Adam. And I'm like, I don't go home. I don't care. Yeah. Leave you fucking piece of shit. I'm like, I'm sorry.

I don't know. I'm just wearing a hat. So wild. The other thing that compiled on top of it that made even like a worse experience is like during this moment in Seattle, Macklemore was at the height of his Seattle like mascotness. So every time Seattle scored, which was about a billion times, it would just be like, I'm gonna pop some tags. Exactly. And it's like, no. No. Make it stop. I'm gonna pop some tags. God, I guess I don't know what the Denver Broncos like big song would have been if they even scored a touchdown. Some John Denver shit. Yeah, probably John Denver stuff. Rocky Mountain High. Adam, I was super jealous of you getting out of the fucking out of COVID and going there and

having a good time. But I was also at the same time like he's catching COVID. You're two for two for like pretty bad Super Bowls. Yeah, dude. I was like, fuck. Totally. Because I was like, this is gonna be an amazing game. This dude's about to fucking ball out and have a good time. And then it just was like a weird game. Well, it was, I, you know, it was a weird time to go because obviously it's COVID times. And I was like, am I gonna catch COVID? But I did feel safe. We all got tested or me and Zach got tested before we went. Everyone I got free tickets through the NFL. Damn. And in our box, everyone was tested. And you have to wear a mask the entire time. And for the most part, I think everyone was seemed like they were pretty good about it. You had a

football helmet on. Yeah, I was wearing a football. You thought that was enough. I'm good. I'm good to go. Got a shield. I wore pads. And then I was like, once you got in the box, me and Zach were like, awesome, dude, this feels so good to be here and feel safe. Let's chug 60 beers and watch. And then I did it again. I doubled down on the chiefs. I was like, the chiefs are gonna win. And I'm like yelling at people the box one box over being like chiefs, baby. And I think that was like the owner of who they played. The buccaneers. The buccaneers. I think it was like the owner's box. It was like giant. It was like extra giant. And they're all rocking buckscare. And I'm like, Oh, and so I'm like doubling down. They were pirates. Chiefs, baby.

And then, you know, then they just got their asses kicked. And once again, I'm over two, basically. Yeah, dude, people yelling at you at the games, man. What's up, dude? You lose. They're hype, dude. I'm not good at the end in a Super Bowl setting. It's a big stage, brother. It's a big stage. What can you do? Remember when Kurt Russell did the opening thing? What? No, at the at the new when we were in New York, Kurt was that in when we were in New York? There was a really good opening sketch. There's like an opening freeamble like these two teams have been going at it all year. And it was Kurt Russell like, man, we go out there and we put it on the line. And I was just like, yo, this shit is tight. That's right. I'm a man. Yeah, I'm a man.

But I just remember Kurt was like the peak of that Super Bowl. That was really cool. And then the rest of that shit sucked. Who did they do on this year? They didn't do anything like that. It was I mean, they had like a cool look, some cool videos that showed like Patrick Holmes being cool and shit. And the airplanes flew over, right? The fucking bombers, the jets flew over. That was tight. The Streaker was tight. So tight. Oh, yeah. Give me a hell, yeah. The Streaker was the was the main event. That was pretty tight. Oh, that was a good video. When we went to the to the Super Bowl was Bruno Mars, like he played like the drums at halftime and shit with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Yeah, you guys were so amped on Bruno Mars after the Super Bowl. You were

like, I'm a change man. I stand by it, dude. I thought he was off the charts. Yeah, he played the drums and fucking ripped it, dude. I remember being like, who the fuck is Bruno Mars? It should be the Red Hot Chili Peppers the entire time. And then Bruno Mars came out and just sang and danced his pants right off. And I was like, give me, give me more. That's because the peppers like played to a fucking track. It was super bizarre. They were not playing live allegedly. The fucking Bruno Mars came out and ripped it on the fucking drums. And it was like, well, that dude just had a blast. Yeah. The other guys just fucking pretended. Okay, chill on flea. You know, he's the homie. Okay, but of course, but I'm saying they had to do it for whatever reason. And you

could tell. Wow. You could tell. Son of diss. It's just like it wasn't live. It wasn't fucking vibro. I get you. I get you. Are you using 80s slang? Yo, just wasn't live to me. That's all. It just wasn't. It was playing along to like a quick track. Okay, it wasn't vibro. And he said it right before we started the podcast of a Bruno Mars song came on in my headphones because I play a little music today or like, yes, right before dude, he's he's pretty and that shit actually has gotten better over time. Yeah, he's got the best producers out there on it. Do you look at who writes his shit? It's a gang of 20 people. It's gonna be good. Revisit some Bruno. He's got some hits, dude. What song? What the fuck song did come on? Yeah, I cannot name one Bruno Mars song.

I just think about him playing the drums. Uptown Funk gonna give it did Uptown Funk give it to you? Oh yeah, that's right. It wasn't Uptown Funk, but that motherfucker did give it to me. I like it when Durr sings it. Yeah, Durr's is a good Bruno Mars impersonator. What can I tell you? I did have to sing it when I did Mindy Project. It was like the first thing I ever did. Really? They were like, hey, we're gonna put you on our show. And I was like, that's fucking cool. And they go, you know, day one here, we're gonna be at this church. You're a preacher. And I go, Oh, cool. And they go, so they get the sides and the first scene is me singing in front of 200 strange people like extras, singing Bruno Mars at a church. Okay. And it was like seven in the morning. It was the

first thing I did. And I go to a PA. I'm like, yo, can you find me a Red Bull? And he was like, I don't think so. And I go, you got to find me some super caffeine because I'm like dragon ass. And I need to be like fucking doing whatever that song was. Uptown Funk, go give it to you. To be fair, like, and I think Bruno Mars is on record to being like, he was pretty involved in cocaine allegedly. So you do need to get some energy in your system. Yeah. Yeah. He was a coke dude. Right. Yeah. I think he's pretty open about that was his lifestyle. I don't know if it is any longer, but that's the that's the best way to never have to pay for cocaine to do like one interview where you're like, yeah, I do cocaine. And then never pay for it for the rest of your life.

Because everyone's like, you do cocaine, right? And you go, great, cool. He's saving money. Guys, I do have the track that came on if you want to hear 15 seconds of it and and try to recall it. Okay, here we go. 24 hour carrot. Okay. Yeah. Damn. Oh, yeah, that gets your hips moving. Dude, that's a good time. That's a good time. That's a damn jam right there. Those hips are swaying. You put that on in a party, no matter the group, people will be

like, ah, this shit. And then like, you got to roll for 30 seconds. And then all of a sudden, the girls start dancing. And then all of a sudden, the guys start bobbing. Yeah, I don't know. No, that's a party starter. That is undeniable. I'm not saying it. Hey, I'm not saying it isn't wherever you're going to parties, but at my parties, we're playing Black Street, so get out. Dude, well, obviously you mix that into a certain time of the night. You're not starting with Black Street. That's not coming out of my party. No, you're not starting there. I might just set the bar there. You don't want to be like, bam, bam, bam, bam, nanananana. What is that? Oh, come on, you know that track. Okay, you guys keep coming. I'll look up this Black Street. I don't know, man.

Here you go, Black Street. Are we just DJing now? Oh, why not? Come on, let's go. Oh, let's go. We got one. He's got his ear tuned to the let's goes from the weekend. I mean, this is a party. Hey, I mean, that's how my parties start. Bam, bam, bam, nanananana. Well, that song is different. That's exactly not what I'm talking about. The Bruno Mars song sounds like you put that on and everyone's having a great time. You put on Black Street, it sounds like everybody's going to start fucking each other. They will.

Like it's a different vibe, which is dope, which is a great way. Honestly, that's a great way to start a party. Everybody's going to be fucking the night. That's good. Okay. Well, this is the one I know. Obviously, this is the one. This is the this is the banger. If you throw this on at the beginning of a fucking party, everyone goes, I get it. I got it. I know what's going down. Thanks. Somebody starts laying the tarp down. Well, it depends on the age of the people. I feel like if you're 25 years old and that comes on, you're like, I don't know. I don't know what this this is not. I haven't heard it. There's no TikTok dance. Yeah, but the vibe is still there, though. Like I bet you if I don't think you have to know about where it came from, man. It's like you

put that on and you feel the vibe as timeless. So this is like when we were kids and someone would put on the fucking Jackson five or some shit and we're like ABC. Yes, exactly. But hold up. It's different because innately the 25 year old knows that that's the song they were made to. Ooh. Yeah, that's one of the first songs. Oh shit. They're like, how do I know this one? It's like, because that's how you were conceived, dude, during that song. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you heard it when you were spurned. When you were shot out the cannon. Yeah, you heard it from the sack. And then you were like, that's how you swam faster. I've been a fan of Black Street since the sack, dude. That's it. That gets me swimming. I was up in my daddy's nuts, just fucking jamming the Black

Street. Just kicking. It's a mostly Black Street. And then I was born. It's like an affliction. Every time you go to have sex, he has to just murmur that. Do you mind if I put this on real quick? Oh, I thought you thought you were about to say his dad only wore affliction. And I was like, that's a cool dad. The dad that wore affliction back then and fucked a Black Street is a cool dad, for sure. Did any of our dads wear affliction? I think only one of us. I think one of our dads might have had one. Your dad did, right, Blake? Yes, of course my dad did. For sure. But he had the dude, but he had the body for it, dude. Well, you and your dad are always on the cusp of fashion. You're going to take some swings. If you take swings like that, you're going to miss every

once in a while, but at least you're swinging the fashion bat. That's true. Well, it was a fat. It was a trend. You did hit the trend. Blake wore some affliction adjacent. Yes, off-brand affliction. Really? No, I think you wore like legit affliction. Didn't you wear like? No, no, no. You know what it was? What? We're confusing it with Ed Hardy because they started to kind of look similar. You wore Ed Hardy? I had an Ed Hardy shirt. And you wore it out? Just shut your big yamper. Was it a gift? It was from my stepmother. It was from my stepmom. It was from my stepmom. Oh, that's all right. Well, hey, hey, hey, if you get a gift, sometimes you got to wrap it. Sometimes you got to throw it away immediately. No, you got to wear

your gifts. Don't be salty about the gift. You wear a gift, but I wore it more than I needed to. Well, but you, whatever, bro, it was the trend. You swang the fashion bat. And you know, every once in a while, you wear affliction, or you wear Ed Hardy. Right. I think that shit's back, though. I've seen like kids with Ed Hardy hats on down in my neck of the woods. Yeah, but like, they don't know. They don't know. It's okay. Well, I think the same poor choices are coming back around. Fashion is cyclical, as I've been told. And it's looping back around. The shitty early 2000s looks are now suddenly cool again. It's dope. Can you guys see my bell bottoms? Dude, how have bell bottoms not

came back for dudes? That's a good question. But they weren't. How they were like the the boot cut jeans were basically bell bottoms. Yeah, they kind of did. It's not the same, though. Also because everybody's fatter now. There's not bodies like there was in the 70s. Like now you have like a lot more mass on humans. 100% there are not bodies. There's not. The 70s had bodies, dude. Nowadays, everybody's hella lumpy. Doesn't make no sense. They've got a little punch. You think 70s bodies were hotter than these 2020 bodies? Yes, I do. Look, they're more natural. They're not engineered like the thin like who's lead singer of Led Zeppelin, who just had he had beautiful lines. Robert Plant. Beautiful lines to his body. Huge dong, I think, too. Yeah,

correct. Daltry from the who? Beautiful body. There we go. Yeah, they all had great rock and roll bodies nowadays. It's all engineered. Beautiful rock and roll bodies. Just great rock and roll bodies. I don't know. I don't know if I'm buying that. I think a lot of people are also watch what they eat and don't eat. They're more blues traveler guy. Oh, well, that's what I'm saying. Now that's everybody's blues traveler. Everybody's a little bigger, dude. That's whatever. That's why Bell Bottoms in the fashion done quite or. I think he lost a gang away, though, to be fair. Yeah, you know what? I also think like, to be fair, like hip hop swings fashion a little harder than rock and roll does these days and Bell Bottoms seem more like a rock and roll fashion

for sure. Oh, what? Are you crazy? Rock and roll is here to stay. Hey, hey, my, my. Well, rock and roll will never die. Dude, it's fucking dead. Did you just make that rhyme up? Hey, hey, my, my. Rock and roll will never die. It's Neil Young, brother. Come on. Led Zeppelin. No, it's Neil Young. Oh, hey, hey. Oh, what is it? It's Neil Young. Yeah. All right. That's just made it up. I'm with you. Please. Sounded different. Please immediately go to iTunes after this and listen to that track. I love some Neil Young, baby. I'm not. I just missed it. Sorry. That's a great track. I know, but that's that's tight that Neil Young can write such a shitty lyric and still be such a legend. You know, he did it first like he's got the fucking folk underneath it. Hey,

hey, my, my. Rock and roll will never die. You gotta listen to that. Hey, do we want to workshop that a little more? And he's like, no, I'm good with it. Let's go to lunch. That's tight. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go get some fucking burgers. Yeah. Hey, I'm good. Dude, you got to hear it with the fucking riff to go along with it. 100%, dude. Music is different as poetry, bro. Like when you just say it like you did, it sounded funky. I'm sure when Neil Young sings it, sounds gorgeous with the fucking riff. Yeah. It sounded exactly like what I just did. No, that's like the chili peppers when they're like, can't stop, but they did the shit. Yeah. There's more to life than meets the eye. Hey, hey. That's a good Neil Young.

We don't have to pay for this if Ders just sings his entire catalog. Please sing it to us. Ders, give us hard of gold for a second, man. I don't think so. Hard of gold. His heart's made of gold, but his lungs are made of silver. His brain is made of bronze. Oh boy. I don't know how it goes. This is already the most offensive audio we've had in a podcast because we started it loud. Now, Ders is singing like, I don't know. That sounds weird, brother. Hey, I don't want to sing that. Yeah. If you have, what do they call that, ASMR or whatever? If you have any sort of audio thing, you're throwing your headphones across the room during this podcast. No, Adam, that's where you're wrong. They jizzed a long time ago. Oh, they did. They jizzed. They done jizzed.

Yeah. They man jizzed. They lady jizzed. This is going to be the tingle in the nutsack for some baby. 25 years later, they just, when they hear our podcast, they get a tingly feeling. Babies were made during this podcast. Yeah. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our

realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a

terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me, because on Queen Charlotte,

the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team. To experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel, listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat, and you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the creatives, the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte the official podcast,

Thursdays on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. Can we agree that AMSR is a like ASMR? It's a it's a kink. It's like people are listening to that and J.O.ing, right? Yes, Blake. Is that obvious? What do you mean? Can we agree? Yeah, it's been established. Yeah. Oh, okay. For sure, everybody's like listening to people eat pudding and just jerking off because people are weird. Yeah, we're listening to people eat pudding. I like when they bite into pickles. Well, isn't that like what they do? I mean, I've never really listened to weird. Yeah, it's like Foley artists or Foley artists all kinked out. Yeah, it's just it's just like someone like eating pudding, being like, and the guys are like, Oh, God. Yeah, it's just cool.

Also, it's a disgusting. I feel like every time it's like nails on glasses. I don't mind. I love that shit. I like when the girls have like the long ass fingernails and they'd be like, so you do like it. Yeah, I do. It kind of turns me on. I dig it too. I think it's great. I mean, do you guys jerk off while listening to it? I'm not jerking off, but I'm appreciating it. Take that however you want. Sexually, Kyle just stared his dick hands free and just shouts at it while he listens to ASMR. My dream is to jizz with my ears. That's tight. I'm into that. Right. Maybe that should be the name of our podcast. Instead of this is important just ear jizz. Sure. Yeah. Ear jizz. Oh, eargasm. Not a bad title. Not a good one.

No, sir, I don't like it. Is there a good podcast title? Who's got the best podcast title? I feel we do. Personally, I like this is important. I think it's a strong name. I do too. And you know what? There's merch that says it on it. And if you want to check it out, is there merch? There is merch and they could go to merchcentral.com backslash. This is important. That's right. Get yourself a sweatshirt. I've been wearing the hoodie for about a week now and it is fucking fantastic. You got it, dude. The hoodie is the number one. That's the I love it. That's the most comfortable thing. That's the best quality I feel. You know what's funny? I can't get enough of the hat because it's ironically shitty. Oh, yeah, dude. I know. It's bad on purpose, guys. Yeah, we definitely did

that on purpose. Yeah, that was our choice. It's funny. We're funny, guys. Yeah, we're gonna upgrade the hat. Yeah, that was first edition. If you have that real tissue paper fucking hat, then good looks. Throw that in the savings box. It's the type of hat that is the first gift that you can win at a fair. Right. You know what I mean? When they just like you sort of won, but they're that you don't get the big prize. They're just like, here, you get this shitty hat. You're like, I guess I like this. Yeah, right. You can take this hat or keep playing and you're like, I'm gonna keep playing. Just the hat, I guess. I want to be able to ride the Ferris wheel and get a churro. Yeah, you threw the darts at the balloon and you hit one balloon and then you lose the

hat on the Ferris wheel. Are any of you actually legit at any carnival games? Fuck yeah, bro. I'm very good at carnival games. Can you do the ring toss on the bottles? I don't think anyone can do that one, right? That's impossible. What do you got, Kyle? I like throwing the baseballs into the fucking basket. You know, the softballs into the basket and they have to not bounce back. I'm good at that one. Right. Really good at the spinny metal one where you have to what do you do? What's the secret? Oh, dude, you got to lob it right into the front of the lip and just let it fucking. Yeah, just settle in. So you go to the floater rookie of your style like backwards and spin on it or what? I don't think I fuck with the spin on it. I think that's overthinking

it. I throw it in soft right on the lip so that it rolls hopefully at the angle of the actual basket itself so that it hits the corner and doesn't bounce back. Okay, right. Tam, I just went back to the fucking carnival in my head. Holy shit. Just so I can visualize it. That's the bucket that's hanging like sort of sideways. Yeah, like at an angle. Yeah, at an angle and you're you have to throw the softball in it or whatever. Right. Yeah. And then it can bounce out if you put too much force in there. Yeah, I will say like as a kid, that's the least appealing looking game to play. It's like it's just a fucking basket with a ball. Yeah, yeah, hell yeah. Basketball. Yeah, the basketball. Well, that that is my favorite at the arcade is actually just shooting the basket

into the hoop. Yeah, that's a good one because I feel like you you actually get decent prizes if you make it and if you make it, it's like pretty tight because you're like, oh, dang, is this guy a sharpshooter? And then probably there's an NBA scout in the audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the NBA scouts probably sees means like, oh, damn, we got to make this guy a power forward or something. We see where it's going. We got it. Yeah, I respect that. Thank you. I was at a birthday party when I was like nine or 10. And it was at Six Flags. And I was like not riding roller coasters at the time. Goodbye. I was just like, not that's like, I'm not doing that shit. I'm going to die. Scared. But then and I felt like a total fucking mark. Scared. But I was and then we

bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch. We walked past like the basketball shooting thing and like nobody was making baskets. And then I was like, oh, let me try. And I made it and you win a basketball. And then I gave it to the birthday boy. I'm like, here you go. I've been like a fucking marked all time. But then they're like, here, do another one. And I made like six baskets in a row. I felt like Rudy getting like hoisted up on the shoulders because I was like the loser. Oh, yeah, you couldn't miss. You're in the zone. But I was but it's more than that. It's more that I was like the loser of the birthday party. And then I had like the one dumb thing that people were like, Hey, he's not like a full loser. Wow. And I shine. And then that scout comes out from

the crowd and was like, wait, you and then that's the movie right there. All of a sudden you got you got you got the magic and suddenly you play for the New York Knicks. Right. It's called Kid Basketball. You hope so. I was in line for like Mike and then Bow Wow took it from me. I don't know if that's that's a yeah, I've never told that story, but it's true. I would say like that moment that you remember none of those people remember at all at all. They're not like everyone does made six in a row. Yo, but whatever, I still I had that UNLV basketball for like fucking 10 years. There was a when you know, he was fucking hot. Oh, you won the basketball. Oh, for real? Did you you chose that you chose UNLV? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I remember when I

was at Fisherman's Wharf in fifth grade, I won a basketball thing and I got out Fisherman's Wharf, dude. Yeah, I got a fucking Looney Tunes little basketball and I could palm it when I was 11 years old. And I fucking love that because I could palm the basketball, right? Just get your dick out. Let's see that thing, man. Let's see how that works. Damn. Palm and basketball is at 11. Get that thing out. Yeah, dude. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying, bro. Hey, I was thinking the other day because I was out near the Bay Area like with a college swag. Who do you who do you think is the sickest college to like rep style wise? Because UNLV is a good one. Yeah, I would say that the college that either you went to or you have any sort of

affiliation with. Yeah, otherwise, what are you doing? Are you talking just on your Ed Hardy fashion? No, I'm not trying to do that. No, no, no, no. Like if you're a middle schooler and you haven't gone to college yet, who you repping? Yeah, I'm saying you're not in college yet. You're aspiring to get into a college. You're not going to get into it, but you're like, I love their hat and sweatshirt. When I was a kid, I needed fucking Georgetown shit. Like I wanted a fucking Georgetown park. So we go in like third or fourth grade 93. Like I wanted that shit. There we go. Hoyas. Holy fuck. Yeah. I remember repping a lot of Michigan and a lot of Arizona State. I was like Arizona State seems like a good time. And Michigan just seemed like the fucking school.

Wolverines, dude, they were sick. My whole thing is like now I'm starting to get into can I wear Cal Bears stuff? Am I allowed to rep Cal even though I what do you mean? But you're from the Bay Area. You can rep Cal. Yeah, you're from up there. You can wear anything. Yeah, that's fine. Okay, well, Berkeley's sick too, bro. Berkeley's off the charts. I wore a lot of Gamecocks hat because it because you could just you could you could just have it say Cox Gamecocks and then be like what? It's just a hat. It was just as Cox on it was just a hat. I get that. It's a college teacher. Wait, who is the Gamecocks? South Carolina, right? Or the or there's like an organ beavers too. And I would rock a beaver's hat as well. And be like what beavers I love beavers.

You're such a pervert, bro. By the way, beavers is like not it's like it's like 70 slang. It's like a thing that your like dad says to his uncles. Right. It's like the 17th thought of what beavers could ever be. Yeah, but also if you're the if you're the little junior high kid walking in the only bro who's like getting it is your teacher. No, in junior high, everyone knows beavers. That's all you think about is like other ways to say pussy when you're in seventh and eighth grade. There's no way even now if somebody says beaver, I'm like you're like oh my god. Yeah, but Kyle, Kyle, wait, hang on, Kyle, let me just let me just let me just extrapolate here. Thank you. If you're in a grocery store and like you're just doing your thing and you walk past

somebody in a fucking whatever organ, something beavers shirt. Yeah. Do you go busy thinking pussy? Yeah. Well, dude, I always think you think either it's an animal or it's a pussy. They're not 17 things down. It's like the second thing that you think about. Second thing for sure. No, but you think of the animal, you think of the mascot, you think of whatever like it's. But Ders, Ders, Ders, Ders, you're saying in middle school because we were talking about what you would rock in middle school of something that you're college that you're excited about and you can wear anything. And it just looks dope or you imagine it's cool. Sure. But beavers in middle school to wear a beaver's hat. Even now I'm saying that for sure, especially in middle school, maybe

not as an adult, it might be you might not be as immature, but in seventh, eighth grade, beavers. Beavers. The first thought in your head is like, Oh my God, dude. You're thinking you're thinking you're not saying it, but you're thinking let's go. That's two. That's two. I'm going to say that I'm a man. I don't think I I don't think I knew the reference of beaver as pussy in middle school. Oh man. You were sheltered. I think it was like high school college. You were sheltered. You were sheltered, partner. You were sheltered, dude. I don't know. Maybe I was. It was it was coochie and that it was that was it. Of course. Beaver. It was a hatchet wound. No, that's gross. But beaver is just some like country white shit, I think. Well, yeah, I mean, admittedly, I'm country. I'm,

you know, I'm, I didn't know about beaver beaver was out there. Beaver was like from naked gun. He says nice beaver and then like hands it whenever I probably didn't get it. I didn't get that joke. I didn't get that joke at first. I needed it explained. I didn't even know in Ace Ventura when the guy was like, Oh yeah, blow me. Like I told my teacher that and she was like, Never say that again. He told the teacher to blow you. I didn't know what it meant. I was just like, Oh yeah, blow me. But what was the scenario? Could we go back there for a moment? What grade are you in? Is that like third grade or something? Because did you like drop an eraser and she was like, Well, you picked that up and you told her to blow you over like nothing. What is what grade is that?

You're like, Blake, okay, please turn to page 52 and read this chapter. Blow me. Oh yeah, blow me. Wait, was it like a legit heated thing or just like off the cuff, whatever? Give the deets. We want the deets. I think it was just a response because in the movie, it's like, remember, like it's, I think it's at the end in Ace. Yeah, Ace. Like members, the mascot, the Eagles mascot, and the Eagles mascot says like, Oh yeah, blow me. And he fucking pushes him. Right. I just thought it was a response to like, man, I'm trying to get into my adolescent head. I thought it was just like, no, thanks. No, thanks. You were probably just, I mean, I feel like at that age, you were just reciting movie lyrics all the time. It was before memes.

It was before gifts. You were just saying things from movies constantly and your friends are losing their minds. Yeah, baby. Yeah, you say you drop a yeah, baby. Alrighty. Yeah. Alrighty, then was the vocab. Yeah, dude. I remember just being like kind of dumb. And in science class, I was supposed to read, I was reading aloud in front of the class and I got sent to the principal's office because I was reading this chapter and it says organisms, but I just read it as orgasms. And I truly thought it says orgasms. So I said orgasms like five times and he's like, in the whole class, it's just erupting and it's not clicking for me until like, I've already said it four or five times. And then he's like, Okay, okay, go go to the principal's

office and I'm like, I truly don't understand what happened. Did you know what an orgasm was at this point? Do you think you're reading about orgasms? Do you know now? What an orgasm? I think so. Yeah, I think I knew. Yeah, it was all very new to me. I think it was probably in like sixth grade. So I don't even know if I had had one yet. I don't think I've had one at this point. Right in sixth grade. Yeah, no, y'all were sheltered. Y'all were sheltered. I got sent to the principal or she might have called my parents for this almost the same thing where like, they're talking about we're reading like Romeo and Juliet and like, he's like courting her and I'm like, I don't know the word courting, but now I do. Nice. And she's like, So what's he doing? What's

Romeo doing? And I'm like, I'm like raising my hand. I'm like, it's, you know, it's like foreplay. And she's like, excuse me, but I meant in the way it's like, before they get together. And I got fucking like, dragged out of class, taken to a phone, call my mom to work and left the voicemail. Isn't that wild that that's how they dealt like he said foreplay, get out of here. You're suspended. That's fucking wild. Yeah, you're out of here. You said orgasm. Fuck off, little kid. So you know what? They called my parents home. And then I went home fast as fuck after school and like, deleted the voicemail message that they left on their hands machine. And that was the end of these smart little level move. Sorry, mama. Good shit, dude. No, I feel like a lot of times you

just don't know as a kid because you seem mature in other ways. Like if you're in seventh or eighth grade, you'd like seem more mature in other ways, but you're just not caught up to the adult vocabulary quite yet. Right. I remember my mom thinking, she's saying like, she said hard on. And then, and then she's like, oh, sorry. And I'm like, what's that mean? She's like, you know what that means? I thought she said hard on. Right. And she was like, in a song or something. She's like, Oh, I don't like that. I'm like, what? She's like, well, you know, and I'm like, I don't know. And she's like, hard on. And I'm like, I don't know what that means. And it was like a full, like 30 minute, like who's on first know what it means. Well, I think I keep thinking she's saying

hard on. And she's like, hard on hard on. And I made poor pennies say hard on like 45 times. Right. Yeah. No one made it. She's like, you know, when you have a hard on and you're like, I have a heart, I have a hard on, is it should get rid of it? Well, am I going to be okay? Not right here and now, but you're going to get rid of it somehow. Oh, how do I do that? I'm not here to coach you on your hard, your hard. Talk to your dad. Talk to your father. Talk to your dad. I'm not walking into this trap. It must be so weird. Like, I don't have kids, you guys have kids, but it'll be so weird when like, our kids are at the age that you just know they're jerking off all the time. Like constantly. And like every time there's a like

my dad from like fifth grade on, no matter what, if I'm shitting that he says 100% of the time, he's like, quit touching it, you're going to go blind. He would have that joke ready to go every time. And I didn't understand it for like two years. I'm like touching what I had to touch my ass in order to wipe it. What does he mean by this? Your dad is almost advancing you towards masturbation. Yeah, totally. Yeah. That's how he's teaching you about it is by this like, you know, you know what I'm talking about. You were in the shower that long and you weren't jerking off. Stop wasting fucking water, dude. What are you crazy? What do you think we buy conditioner for? You're not using that on your hair, are you? My dad kept telling me the story of the birds and

bees over and over and over again. Really? Oh man. No, that's not true. But that would be sick if he did. I've already dropped it. They know. Or seven year old knows my shit with my dad was like fucking I was like I wanted to get the birds and the bees. So I was like me and my buddy were doing the like finger and the thing gesture. And we were like, what does it mean? You know, like, like finger in a hole in your hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And right. And I was like, and I said to my I was like, dad, what does this mean? What is this? And he's like, you know, and then walk out. And then that was like, that was it. Yeah, until I started going to strip clubs. And then he was like, be careful out there. And you do that at the stripper. You didn't know what fingering meant

until you started to go to strip. You're in the hole. No, I'm saying that was where did that come up at a strip club? Well, no, no, no, no, no, this was like when I was like nine or 10 years old, I did the finger in the whole thing. And I was like bagging for a little bit of something. And my dad was like, you know what it means. And then we get the A side, we're on to the B side about how you learned what it meant at the strip club. There was like no more conversation about sex until I started to go to strip clubs. And he said, you know, sex is very important. And it's, you shouldn't just Oh, so you were fully an adult by the time he had any conversation. Yeah, because you had to be 18 years old to go to a strip. That's what I'm saying. Like there was

not a lot of conversation about the birds and the bees and my parents. It was not there. Did he have the talk with you? And he goes, all right, you see how my fingers going into my other fingers? Imagine this fingers penis and these other fingers are a good giant. That wasn't it. I like to think that that was your father's response because he wasn't sure what that was the international assignment. Yeah, he's like, get out of here, you know, because what if he was like that's butt fucking, and then you're like, wait, what? And it's a, hold on, explain a little bit more. Father anal intercourse father. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist

and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear

a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning. And now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down and that's when I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I got to get out of the house. He's going to find out that I've seen this. He's going to come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972,

six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington DC. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed freeway fan. This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive?

Listen to freeway phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My dad, I might have told this story, which I do on the podcast. My dad, I remember my mom wanted to tell him, wanted him to tell me about the birds and the bees. And she's like on the top of the stairs. And we had a tiny house. So I'm in the basement. I could totally hear him. And she's like, just go, just have the conversation. Just go talk to him. And I'm like 15 at this point or something. And my dad comes down. You're downstairs fucking downstairs totally laying down the ribbon in the terran. And I'm downstairs by myself. And my dad comes down and he goes, Hey, so you know about sex, right? And I go, Yeah, I think so. And he goes, All right, let's just sit here for 10 minutes.

And we'll pretend that I had this conversation with you. And I'm like, Okay, here's a Kathy Ireland Sports Illustrated issue. Do I make you honey? What's up with that? I'm gonna fucking like, Ders, you said you already laid it down for the kids. Layed it down because he's he's too smart. He had he had questions. He had questions. And I was like, and I went to Emma and I was like, Do we do this? And she's like, I don't know. And then it was just like, because he's a young bucks, though, he's like seven, eight. He's seven. But dude, he's like, he's like, Where did I come from? You know, he just knows. And he's like, What's a penis? What's a vagina? Why is it different? Hell yeah, just kind of like, you lay it out there and you go, Hey,

so this is how it works. And he gets it so much that like, we met our gay neighbors the other day at the new house. And he was like, So a guy can marry a guy. I'm like, For sure, happens all the time. And he's like, Okay, but where does his penis go? If they're going to make a baby? And you were like, Yeah, so they don't exactly make a baby. But you know, you just kind of you go like, Oh, they adopt or they have like a woman who can carry it. And like, maybe it has he knows all about like sperm. It's crazy. It's crazy. That's fucking cool, dude. Yes. But you keep it way like you keep it way just this is the way things work. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, good on you guys for fucking normalizing that shit. And then like, watch how our society advances in the next couple

decades, man. Let's let's fucking build on this. Yeah, it was weird that we were both naked outside doing jumping jacks when I told him everything. But like, well, yeah, other than that, like, I feel like I did a good job. Oh, that's exactly what needs to happen. Just normalizing that shit. It was weird that I was like, Emma, we got to do this. Come in here, boys, you got to see something. Yeah, it was weird. I locked her out of the house. Now here's your beaver shirt. All right. Here's your beaver hat. Yeah, if someone tells you the 17 thing for beaver, listen, it's number one, baby, then it's the animal. With all that said, here's your beaver hat, brother. Here's your beaver hat. Here's your Gamecox hat. And here's a Gamecox bet. It's funny because cox means something else.

Here's your big Johnson t-shirt. Thank you, daddy. Thank you, guys. Oh my God. What a grail to find a big Johnson shirt. Oh my gosh. Speaking of like misconceptions, by the way, misconceptions like in health class and middle school, I remember when they were like, so there's there's masturbation and you're like, for sure, I got it. I know that. Yeah, I got that. And then they were talking about menstruation for girls. And I was like, okay, for sure, right, boys masturbate, girls menstruate. So I thought that when girls masturbated, it was called menstruating. So then they were like, you menstruate once a month and I'm like, I'm masturbating way more than girls. They're not horny. I guess they're just not horny.

They must not hate it. Keep up. I love that. So you thought tampons were for masturbating? No, I mean, you would just, those are like a healthy snack for like, if you're going for like a hike or something, you grab some tampons, you just chew on those. Just kind of plug it in. It's like a rice cake. Right. It's like sunflower seeds. It's the same thing. Do you remember how weird though, the like sex classes were? I remember, like, uh, Mr. Seeger was our teacher during that time. And we're all the boys in fifth grade, fifth grade, what an insane time to like be teaching this shit also. But I guess you got to start early because seven years because some kids just start fucking and like sixth grade,

you know, some kids are just absolutely out of control. Yes. So you got to start early, which I get, but he, he, he like had a shoebox and he was like, Hey, uh, this is a safe place. If you want to write down what, um, a question for me, uh, I'll answer any and all questions. So everybody just writes down other questions and puts it in a box and he goes, okay, first question. Okay. Have I had sex before? Uh-huh. Oh, I've had two kids. So at least twice. And then every question, there was 25 kids, absolutely every kid asked if he's had sex before. And it was just like yes, I have had sex. I have had sex before. Yes. Okay. Like I said, okay. And we're done with the box and we're absolutely done with the box. Are you having a log? Just going for it, dude. He

does it every year and he knows he's going to get the same shit. So he clearly just likes talking about how he fucks in front of these kids. Yeah. So what the fuck's up with that dude? Yeah. Mr. Seeger is a perv and allegedly, allegedly. Exactly. I have a, I have it all logged. I can tell you right now how many times I've had sex, just come after school and I'll show you. It's 12,333. He has a real tally and we're like, whoa, Jesus. Oh my God. That's weird that you actually know how many. Yo, sex that was hilarious. You would have kids ask like, hey, uh, like, how come I got to sit down with a boner backwards on a toilet to go pee or stand hella far back to like make it in the bowl. And you're like, uh, why are you asking your teacher this? But like kids

didn't know they just had, oh my God. And like they had to be like scientific about it. They just had questions and they can't talk to their parents about it because their parents will go like, you know what it is. Yeah. Cause their parents are, they do not, they're like, it's not my job. Ask your teacher. That's so fucked up, but that's so real. If I bust semen in a butthole, but some of it goes outside of her, like the most graphics that you've ever heard in your life, but they like need to know so you don't get anybody pregnant. Well, I feel like your sex head was a little more advanced. If anyone was saying bust semen into a butthole, mine was just like, have you ever had sex before? Do we get orange slices to eat? Oh dude, it was next level.

So it was so good. It was like the, it was the foundation of my comedy. I'll say man, man, you get weird ass. Nobody, nobody said like ejaculate. Everyone just said like, so if I bust, uh, like on a vagina, can she get pregnant? And you're like, and you're like, I guess I want to know the answer to this. Uh, I'm not having sex for six more years, but okay. But yeah, where are you guys at in your lives? Damn. Oh my God. Damn, son. 12 year olds getting wild needing answers. Oh gosh. I feel like the answer that came in like six and seven or the question was like, if my boyfriend smokes a lot of marijuana, does that mean we can't get pregnant? Because dudes were out there just like smoking weed saying that it was like a conception, you know.

Yeah. Yeah. That was a line. Yeah. That was a big one. It's all good. I remember the first time I ever heard anyone like mention weed in front of me. It was like some older kids and like, hey, you guys want to smoke a bowl? And we're like, no, I mean, like it got out of there, you know, and, uh, and I remember thinking like when I was eating my cereal the next morning, out of my cereal bowl, thinking like, so if I like this, if I could figure out how to like this, I'll get hot. Totally, dude. You start sniffing your bowl. How do they do it exactly? I'm right there with you. I did not understand that at all. Like smoke a bowl. What the fuck does that mean? I remember another time some kids were like, hey, you want some weed? It's got so

many good sticks and stems in it or sticks and seeds in it. And I came home and told my dad, I'm like, dad, I was just offered drugs, just totally ratting these kids out. And, you know, I've been like fourth grade and I'm like, I just want to let you know. Didn't do it. They, but evidently it's good stuff. It has sticks and seeds in it. And my dad's like, I don't think those kids smoke weed. I'm like, what do you mean? Like, well, that wouldn't be very good weed. Like, what do you mean? How do you know? And he's like, uh, you know what I'm saying is your, your, uh, your friend smoked boof. Okay. Yeah. That's some bammer. Yeah. In like fifth grade, I had a homie who would take a needle. He would cut the head off of a, of a cat. And then he would take a

serial killer anyways. And he would take a needle and hollow out like a wooden matchstick, right? And then he would smoke those and call him Woody's. And we would just go out to this like soccer field near his house and smoke Woody's when we were like 10, he'd be like, I just got to come out here and think sometimes and I'm like, oh, yeah, like, damn, that dude was weird. And I'm trying to like have feels as the kids say. And I'm just out there like, I'm kind of cold. This is kind of smoky tasting. And I'm gonna go home now. Sorry, I'm not visualizing exactly what you, what these Woody's are, a matchstick, and you're just lighting the tip and then smoking the smoke from,

you're smoking the sulfur smoke. Yeah, what the fuck? Basically sulfur shirt. No, no, no. So there's no, there's no match head. He cuts this, the thing that lights off, right? So it's just like a square, like a thick book or pardon me, from a matchbox. And he would hollow out with a pin through the entire wood. And he called them Woody's. That's in the bay, we call it a pinner. It's a pinner. It's like a very, very, very small joint. You're just smoking wood. Yeah. Well, that's not a pinner Blake, because a pinner has weed in it. Well, that had we, oh, he was just smoking the wood. Keep up. Yes. This is the, this is just a cigarette. Pardon me. This is just a matchstick with the hole through it. Oh, this dude was dumb as fuck. Yeah, this is bizarre. This is

really fucking bizarre behavior. Yeah, just go get cigarette butts. You'll look way cooler. That's what I used to do, just go pick cigarette butts out of the ashtrays. For the record, he was cool. He was cool? Yes, he was the fucking man. All right. All right, bro. All right, damn, chill, bro. That's all. All right, I heard someone said like smoking grass and that's weed. Your dad. Remember putting, yeah, probably putting grass in, in like a piece of paper, rolling that up and then trying to smoke it and just immediately vomited. Just like immediately was like, yeah, that'll do it. Yeah, that's what happened. Like first time I smoked a cigarette, I inhaled it and like fucking went to another planet. It hurts so bad and made me fucking feel like

shit. Did it make you feel like shit? Or why were you addicted for 20 years? Because it looked cool. Bro, sometimes the things that hurt us. It kind of goes away because you chase this shit. You chase it, man. You're fucking like, I dug it. I've never smoked a cigarette, but I've heard that I haven't. Go buy a pack right now. Come on. I mean, it looks cool. Can I ask you a question? Why have you never smoked a cigarette? It was because when I was a kid, I was hit by the cement truck and that was like right at the time that kids were starting to smoke cigarettes. Like the summer going into sixth grade. Yeah, that's it. And then it was like a year and a half time where I was kind of out of commission and not really hanging out because my mom was always

with me because I'm in a fucking wheelchair. And then when I got by like seventh, eighth grade, when I was like up walking again, my grandmother died of lung cancer like during that time. So it like just sort of doubled down on like cigarettes suck and then I just never did. Right. So you were scared? Yeah, I was a scared bitch. Yeah, I'm a scared bitch. You were a bitch about it. That's all right. Well, why didn't you cry about it? Oh, your grandma died. You were a bitch about it. Yeah, I was such a bitch about it. I just was too busy rocking my big Johnson t-shirt my beavers had. Just throwing it out there. Funny guy. Hey, I'm not smoked cigarettes, but I do want to have sex.

Like I was all in on the pervert thing. Can I smoke your butt? Such a little per. Dude, I remember my my two friends were hooking up in their basement. It was like the in we were in like seventh grade. And I'm like the friend that's just always is tagged tagged long. And who's a Zach and Kyle or who? No, it was a guy and a girl. And I remember like, I could tell that she had her top off. And I'm like, I kind of want to see that like a total fucking per. Right. And then it was like a basement that was unfinished. So like there was a from the top of the wall to where the ceiling was, there was like a hole. And I'm like, maybe I just stick my head through there and take a quick peek. And allegedly allegedly allegedly. I was a child.

And I stuck my head through there. I was standing on top of a toolbox. The toolbox falls over tools are everywhere. Now my head is through this hole. It's stuck between the ceiling and the and this and I'm going like fuck, fuck. And they're like and they like know me like these are my best friends and she just sees me covers her breasts and just like Adam. Okay. And then my other buddies like Jesus, Adam. Oh, that's my pervert friend, Beaver, Adam. Oh, the big Johnson shirt with the cock. And then and then her dad comes running down the stairs because he hears me choking to death. He's like helping me. He's like, what were you doing up here? And I had to be like, I don't thought I threw a tennis ball up here. Please help me get my neck out of this. Bro,

this is like in fucking Jumanji when her face gets all fucking stuck in the wood board. It was exactly like Jumanji. Thank you for saying that Blake. Very good. I want to say we put that in a draft of Game Over Man at some point where it was like we're meeting the people and your character was like trying to see somebody give like a massage or something. I think yeah, it probably spawned from that. You like fell through the wall and started choking and they were like, Oh my God. You're like, I'm cleaning. I'm so excited. Just cleaning in here. And your name was Alex with three X's. Yeah, I was just so jealous of my buddy. I'm like, dang, how nice would that be? Nice would that be having a girl be naked around you?

If I could just figure out how to make that happen, I guess this isn't the way. That's the lifelong struggle right there. How do you do that? How do you make that happen? This is the way. This is the way. How do you do that? That's a trick. So that's where this scar comes from. What if I had like an early neck scar? So that's why I talk like this. So I know I told you guys I was hit by a cement truck, but a neighbor mine is sunbathing, right? We're barbecuing. I stand on top of a fire pit and the rest is my legs. Ironically, I didn't get to smoke cigarettes because of it. And that's when

all the girls were hitting on the guys. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. So you just but Blake, you've smoked a cigarette, right? Oh, yeah. There's moments throughout my life. I feel like every 10 years I try to smoke cigarettes again, but it never works out. Like you give it a shot. You buy a pack. Yeah. I remember driving into workaholics and like you don't smoke cigarettes, but I remember like seeing you, you would like write a like smoke. I remember in while we were shooting workaholics, you went through a period where you'd like, I just smoke a just one cig on the way on the way home and we're all like, what the fuck? Yeah, just got to chill out. Hey, man, whatever it takes, I remember that too.

That shit would always be like, what the fuck are you doing? Like I cannot stop this shit and you're like trying to smoke. I think part of me was like that. If I ever had to smoke as a character, I don't want to look like a total kook about it, but also like nothing hits me harder and quicker than smoking a cigarette. As soon as I start smoking a cigarette, I get fucked up. No, it's real. You have real tobacco? I have not. Because I remember being like a camp counselor and you just chew a tobacco all the time and coming home, fiending for that shit when I got back to like just regular life. I was like, do I go buy this stuff every day because it cuts into your mouth and it gets absorbed in your bloodstream and

you're hooked. It's amazing. It's a disgusting habit. Yeah, that's just the nicotine for whatever reason grabs you, man, and the tobacco. I just like, I love it. For whatever reason, science. Yeah, because they put that shit in it. I never did chewing tobacco only because I accidentally drank it so many times from my friends who like, yeah, it's like they are, they're like spitting into like a beer can and you think it's yours and you go and you take a chug and you're like, like you drank their spit cup. Right. Oh my God, that is so foul. Oh yeah, they were the coolest. You're like, Oh God, but you do you guys at home is like that would dip in school, right? Dude, everyone would just dip in school. I'm like, are you out of your mind?

You're gonna go to jail. You're busted, buddy. I mean, yes, that was the coolest. I was like, God dang, I wish I chewed just so I could chew in school. That sounds awesome. And what's with these teachers? Hey, there's four kids in this room, spitting into Mountain Dew, like 16 ounce bottles. What are you doing? Well, they would let people smoke like in a certain area of the school. They wouldn't check. Really? Really? We had to cross the street. You had to get off the property allegedly. You could go out to the back to the back street and just congregate on school property. It was just off like the sidewalk just outside. It was called. Yeah, it was off the property. Our school called it the ashtray. And that's where everybody went to go smoke cigarettes.

That's right. You could go hang out at the. We had the log. There we go. The log is where you went to go smoke. Congregate. You hit up the ashtray every morning, dude. I'd buy cigarettes off people for like a dollar for a city. That's stupid. Yeah. Yeah, it was it was ridiculous. You're like, man, I would buy cigarettes for it. It was the worst. I'm just saying you should be selling them. No, I was smoking them, dude. That's true. True. If I had them, I was smoking. I know, but like buy a pack and sell them. I wanted to smoke them onters. Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. Yeah. Our kids doing, I guess they're just vaping now, right? They're not, they're no longer smoking cigarettes. And they've they've fully vaped. Oh, yeah, the vape. They vape. No, they've

got the jewels. They got the jewels. They have candy flavored nicotine now. It's it's like candy flavored fucking nicotine. Sounds good. Maybe I get into that instead. Yeah, at least it's cool because you can blow like crazy cool smoke shit and you could not do that with cigarettes. Okay, I will give it up every but all the listeners out there go on YouTube, watch some of these vape like little smoke smoke tricks. So sick. Those are my heroes. Those are your heroes. It's pretty tight. Yes. When they shit, oh, yeah, the dragon breath. Come on, let's go. Oh, number three. Yeah, there you go. They'll be like, and it's like little O's shooting out of their mouth. Yeah, I like the O's, but have you seen the ones where they're just like, they just exhale and like,

it fills an entire like convention center and you're like, Jesus Christ. That you have not gone in you like that. Yeah, it looks like a car that is backfired. If you see a car driving by that's just like fully leaking smoke out of the windows. Everyone in there is a fucking loser. Period. Stop man. They're fucking check their check how many YouTube subscribers that car has. Oh, is that what is that the currency of cool these days? Yeah, to me. To me it is. Okay. All right. Hey guys, are there any apologies, take backs or perhaps even epic slams? I would like to compliment Blake on his use of let's go the episode. It was really pretty natural for him. It just felt like so on brand for our like

ironic unironic brand of comedy where we make fun of ourselves by making fun of others. Right. And then when people call us on shit, we say we were doing that ironically in a bit. Let's go. Satire is dead. You don't understand it. Okay. But Blake really good. You don't understand it, but just know that our comedy let's go. I'm lost in the character. Yeah, really good. Blake holding it down. Blake really well done partner. That was awesome. It's a disgusting habit. Really good stuff. Hey, I want to give a compliment to everyone out there who subscribed to the podcast. We're trying to make this shit blow the fuck up. Okay. Let's go. We don't want just everyone who watched workaholics. We want people who are looking for a good time,

who got some time to kill. We want people that watch woke. Yes. We want people that watch what we do in the shadows. We want righteous gemstones people. We want people that watch the Mindy project Mindy. We want whoever's reading the screenplays. I'm not selling guys. Are you out there? Friendship. Let's go. Let's go. I'd like to apologize to my mother Penny who definitely listens to every podcast because she's just a goddamn sweetheart. I hate that you now are going to think that I was a total pervert when I was in seventh grade. And yeah, it's true. I was. I'm not you know, I'm not denying. I was. Yeah, I was like, what do you mean she's gonna think? Yes, she knows. She knows. I'll apologize to Adam. I'm sorry. I was talking shit on your

your second Super Bowl experience. I'm sure it was off the chain, even though the game was kind of a weird one. But I think it was dope. It was weird. It was weird. The whole experience was great. And I felt safe while in the stadium. But then as soon as we went outside, I'm like, not only am I going to catch COVID for sure. I were also going to get shot. Like it was the craziest shot because were the protesters? No, no, the streets got wild. Right. It was just absolutely insane. Someone did get murdered because it was a hometown win. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tampa Bay goes off. It was like they were the city was just going to burn to the ground. Like it was too much excitement. I was like, give me the fuck out of here. But it was it was very

fun. Do you mind if real quick we zero in on Blake's comment? Tampa Bay goes off and what you're basing that on? There's like a they have a skate competition that goes on in Tampa. Tampa Pro. It goes very, very maniac. It goes quite off. Does it let's go? It let's go. And I also would like to I know you guys heard this, but I gave an interview. I would like to apologize to Anna, Todd and Nick, our producers. I did an interview for Vanity Fair talking about our podcast, trying to hype us up, get us more listeners. Nice job. I just I made it. I was too flippant. I made it seem like the podcast is super easy to do and there's no thought and work behind it. But Anna, Todd and Nick, they do do a lot of work for our podcast and there is thought and time

put into it. We just don't do shit. And I meant to say that right. I personally don't put a lot into it besides just chatting with my boys. That's right. Neither do I. And I was trying to say that I was just saying like it's great compared to television and movies that you work on it for so long. And then no one it takes months and months for people to see it. I like the turnaround on podcast. You know what? And I got to take back. I'm going to take back Adam's apology for him. What did I do to do that? No, no, no, I'm taking it back because what you said, about this podcast being easy is obviously a compliment to how good our producers are. We show up, we clock in, we do our thing, which is fun and easy. Can't deny it.

Which is nothing. Yeah, we don't do anything. Okay, I'm not denying it. And they clean up after us and it's fucking dope and we're stoked to be here. Right. Yes, we are. I heart radio. God damn, that was a better apology than what I did. I'm not good at it. Yeah, what you fumbled take that back, Adam, you have a take back. I what am I taking back? You take back the apology about how yours was a bad apology. It was a good apology. But I'm saying is that you didn't have to do it. Okay, yeah, I take it back. You apologize for his apology. Is that what you did? No, I told him to take it back because I said his his comment was a compliment and he doesn't need to apologize for a compliment. Well, let's go. Allow me to, you know, since I haven't done mine, I'd

love to compliment Anders on his father's what his fatherhood skills, man, good for you advancing on these children's minds to embrace the future and fingers crossed. Hope it works out. Yeah, man, we'll see. I'm excited to see how these all these kids grow up and let's see how many ceilings your children's heads get stuck in through their middle school years. Yeah. Yeah, let's count that. How many is too many? One? One might be too many. Go beavers. Let's go beavers. All right. Hey, guys, thanks for joining us on this is Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to

explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see?

Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.