This Is Important - Ep 30: No Joke, Ders Can’t Tell Time

Episode Date: March 16, 2021

Today, this is what's important:DNA tests, who's the smartest guy, math, what they're dipping their chicken nuggets in, hot dogs, cold food, why Adam is always sick, sombreros, wrist watches, Anders not knowing how to tell time or the months of the year, buttchugging hot dog water, and more. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we talk about what's

obviously most critically, crucially important. Today on This Is Important, can I get hot dog water for being my buddies? Bitch, I know y'all had triscuits at the house. Yummy, yummy for my tummy. I think the salinity would fuck your butthole up, dude. Let's go. Boom. Bam. Hello. Damn. Radiators, ready. Here come the Czechoslovakians. We pour, so we rock the mic with pots and pans. There it is. Go. What is Adam doing? Adam, what are you rapping? I was rapping Blake and Kyle's Czechoslovakian rap album. That was one of my favorite songs for many years. Not only is Kyle my favorite actor of all time, he's one of my favorite rappers of all time. Oh, and if you listen to that song, I believe I use getting caught in

nets just like pets as one of my hot fire lyrics. Oh, really? Yeah, he was going to join FEMA with that line. Yep. What does that mean? It was at hot damn or god damn? Was it god damn? I think it was hot damn when live, god damn recorded, probably. Oh, shit. Yeah, so you can pass it to your friends, but when your mom's listening, it's hot damn. Right. They had a Czechoslovakian rap group in, I believe high school. We talked about it. Yeah, we talked about it briefly on the spot. Sugar in the raw. Sugar in the raw. Named after the sugar packet, basically just rapping, dressed in weird outfits, claiming to be straight out of Czechoslovakia, just lying. You better check yourselves. That's your heritage though, right? Correct. Yes. And Blake, you as well. Yes, at least that's what

I was told, but my dad claims my mom's side of the family is just Polish, but I refuse to believe that. You might want a 23 and me that. Yeah. Yeah, you could, you could get to the bottom of that. What is that process of 23 and me? What do you do? You have to give some blood or something? Or I've never spit. Spit? Just in a cup? Yeah, you wake up and you spit like the first thing. You're just like, you fill it up and then you send it away. And then they're like, Hey, this is what you are. You just sign your life. I'm in your name. And yeah, what is what other, what intel do they have on you? If you do that, they got your DNA. So then when you, when we all are going to commit horrific crime, probably in our fifties and sixties, we're going to try to get away with it for 30

years, just going like, I just got to get away with it until I die. Right. That we won't be able to because. So you know, they've caught people this way, right? You know, that's the whole thing. Really? From 23 and me? Yeah. I didn't know that. What do you mean? Oh, they found like old, like serial killers and stuff, right? Yeah, I want to say that Patton Oswald's wife, who passed away, like she discovered some murderers through that. Yeah, we got a chat coming in from the producers who know things. The producers are saying the golden killer. Let's all read at the same time. Ready? The golden killer was found this way. I like how when we read together, we all are just like, like second graders who can't quite put the words together. We're all waiting

for each other to get on the same speed. So our speeds flux so hard. I got flux and speed. Who do you think is the slowest reader? Because I'm fast as hell. Me. Nobody's slower than me. I don't know. I'm pretty fucking slow. I think we're all really, like really slow readers. Like almost are they, do they have a mental handicap? Because remember when we were writing workaholics and we were, we were like, okay, we're all going to go read the scripts, note it up and come back. And then we had other writers in our writer's room that went to Harvard and they would read the thing and be done in 30 minutes, fully noted, ready to go. And then we would stumble in an hour later having read the exact same thing. Yeah. But was that because they read it or because

they read it and pushed themselves to find the best punch ups? And was the reason you were taking so long to read because you had porn hub on your laptop as well? I'm better question. Very, very good. Are you asking me? Are you asking me? Are you asking me? This is what I'll say. I was measured like my in high school when I was probably like a junior or something. My parents had me like take some tests to see if I needed like how to learning disability. Nice. And they were like, he might be dyslexic. He reads at a 10 year old level. You are so dumb. Right. When you were, when you were what age, when you were 14? No, when I was 17, 17, you were 17, you read at a 10 year old's level. So could you not read? Like if it was a difficult word to read, you like would

just give up on it or, or you would just read slow? No, like, you know a word, but I'm just, I'm not, I don't read quickly. And my major thing is and guys at home, I know this is super fascinating. The major thing for me, they were like, I know he seems like the smart one, but maybe he's the dumbest of them all. That's what people at home are thinking. For sure. Hold up. The comprehension, like if you read a whole story and then it's like, so tell me the details. If you quizzed me on what I just read, I would have no idea what you're talking about. Well, I'm that way if I read it aloud, because then it's just a performance. Like whenever I would read in school, I hated, well, actually, I enjoyed reading aloud because I liked to perform. But then if I had

to be quizzed on whatever I just read aloud, I'm like, Oh no, I was just kind of concentrated on like cool ways to say the word. Yeah, I was just making noises for words. Yeah, I was just kind of concentrated on the performance of this science experiment we're doing. I think I told you guys this when I was taking the ACTs, and I think the last part is reading comprehension, like you read a thing and then it asks you questions. I fell asleep while testing. Woke up with the end of it. Or like, or no, somebody came and woke me up. And they were like, Hey, and I was like, Oh, shit. Because I was like, let me just take like a minute nap. They're like, Hey, this is the biggest test of your life. Yeah, I know. I remember not digging that either.

Where were you? Why were you so tired though? Yeah, I was probably swimming and like hadn't slept. And I was like, let me just put my head down for a second. I'll wake up like fully refreshed. And then it was like just about over. And I was like, like I didn't finish it. We all like got like drunk the night before in like defiance of the ACTs. Give me a hell. Yeah. Sure. That's a buck the system type thing. Yeah. I remember being very hung over for the PSATs. We were very hung over for the ACTs. I remember we played beer dice in my friend's basement. Oh, yeah. Great game. Oh, yeah. And just just came in just fat headed, had to do the ACTs. I'm still gonna send them. And then I took it in the seventh grade,

because I like tested really high on like the cat tests or whatever they make you test in like seventh and eighth grade. And I just really high in that. But then I think I was like two points higher or maybe three points higher as a junior in high school. Like I didn't get any smarter. Right. Right. Right. Like I peaked in seventh and eighth grade. And then after that, my test scores were like, okay, you learned nothing. Yeah. In second or third grade, I was 98th percentile on the cat test or something like that. And then it got real. School got real. Exactly. Long divisions, books with chapters. I'm out. Fucked me up. Long division, fucked my world up as soon as they started. And then as soon as they were like, A plus B equals

C, like any sort of algebra, I was like, exponents. Fuck your whole life. Exponents are a bit. Yeah. The little tiny numbers on top of the bigger numbers. Oh, those are. Is that what an exponent is? Yeah. Exponents. I thought we're like when letters are in place of numbers. That's a variable, isn't it? Oh, damn. Yeah. Oh, shit. Get your PEMDAS on. Who knows about their PEMDAS, baby? Hold on. Do you really know that, Kyle? Is that really what it is? This is what's coming to my brain right now. Yeah. No, I think you're right. I think you're right. That's so tight. The only thing of math that I can remember is foiling front, outer, inner, last. Okay. Exactly. And I don't even know what that means or how that's what you're

doing with parentheses, I believe. Yeah. Yes. Order of operations. I'm just going for it. Is that what they call parentheses in math though? Are they still parentheticals? Yes. The other parentheses. Because look, that's what, let's see if we can run down PEMDAS. Parentheses, exponents. Exponents, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction. There you go. That's your order of operations. PEMDAS. I don't know, it just happened. What just happened? This is the order you do your math problem in if it has all these things. So if you see parentheses, you solve that shit right out the gate. That's the P. Then you hit the exponent. Right. That's the little numbers up top.

Solve that now. Then you multiply. Then you do the M. The M is the multiply. Divide, add that shit up, subtract, then you got your crack, rock, dude. Come on. That's exactly right. Exactly right. Blazer up super probability. I love the word exponent is tight. I'm going to start throwing around the word exponent. That's a hard ass rap name. Exponent itself. Exponent give it to you. Exponent sounds like somebody you use to argue with. Oh, that's my exponent. I think we've got our math teacher thing. It's like, first you got a parentheses, then you got an exponent going to give it to you.

Oh, it's going to give it to you. Is that's how you start off your very first math class? You just go bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Exponent, admittedly, if they did that, if I had a cool teacher like that, I would have been more invested. Absolutely. I had some bonkers teachers that were just like all salty that they had to teach all these kids that are fucking idiots that don't understand math. I was so, I would get so angry because if I don't understand something. I hear it. I hear it in your voice right now.

If I don't understand something, as I'm sure you guys have seen. I'll piss now. I get pissed now. I get angry that I can't wrap my head around it. Fucking thing sucks. And math specifically, I was like, absolutely fuck the world. I did have one. I only failed one class. It was math, but that was purely off the strength that my math teachers fucking breath smell like really bad. He had halitosis.

Really, really bad. I remember that, dude. What level math? Well, I was held back, so it was like math 100 or so. Well, you were held back? You were held back in math? You weren't held back. In math class, I was.

You were? Oh, yes. Oh, hold up. Did you do what I did, though? So hold up. We never had the same math class. That's right. But did you do what I had to do, which is... Can I finish? You failed.

You failed the class, so then you had to retake that same class again, right? Yes, so you know how you... And then you took it in summer school later, or what? Yep, actually, damn, summer school was a whole another shit. I did have to take summer school, and that was the most... You have to take English, too? Get him! Hey, maybe go take it this summer, bro.

Finish him. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, no, summer school was one of my worst youth hangovers of my entire life. What, the whole summer? I know. I'm like, what? There was one day that I had to attend summer school, and it was the night after one of our buddies, Teddy, drank so much and only ate chicken nuggets and was sitting in a lazy boy

and barfed like a fountain all over our homey's aunt's house where everything was white, and he just threw up pink everywhere. Doodle! God, it was the nastiest. What kind of sauce is he rocking on those sweetened sour? Probably just ketchup, right? It must have been, yeah, like some ketchup. I bet it was just a fucking ketchup.

If you dunk your nuggets in ketchup, by the way, you are a fucking weirdo. You're crazy, right? Yes, yes. Absolutely a psychopath. Absolutely disagreeing. No, crazy. Fuck no. Ketchup's delicious, it's the best condiment.

Chicken and ketchup? Chicken and ketchup is crazy. Chicken and ketchup isn't. Doodle! Yeah, if it's grilled chicken, yes. I totally respect that, but if it's a breaded chicken, it's delicious and ketchup, and you mix it with the ranch? It's a disgusting habit.

I definitely agree that barbecue sauce is better on the chicken. Hey, I agree, I'm not saying it's my number one. Obviously ranch and barbecue sauce are the leaders here. I'm not even saying barbecue sauce is better. I'm saying ketchup is wrong completely. Yes, I am saying, I'm taking a hard stance. If you put ketchup on chicken in any form, you are a fucking psychopath. I'm with you.

Okay, what if it's the last thing in the fucking fridge? Yeah, but hey, but y'all sit down to wipe your ass, so I can't trust nothing none of y'all say. Hey, if the ketchup is the last thing in the fridge though, are you going no scoop? You're not putting no sauce on the fucking chicken? Well, that's a different story. That's what I want to know.

But it's not chicken, it's nuggets. It's a different thing. Chicken nuggets, fine. Same thing. Okay, Adam, everyone knows we're talking about chicken nuggets. This is not math class. You do not need to get pissed now. I'm pissed now.

There we go. I'm pissed now. I want to know if ketchup is the last thing in the fridge and you got nuggets and you cooked them and they're on the plate and they're ready to be dipped in something. Are you going ketchup or not? Naked. I'm going naked.

Wow. Oh, we got a naked man. A naked man. If I'm going naked, I'm afraid. Let me ask you this. Where are the nuggets from? Where are the nuggets from? What do you mean, like fast food style or grocery store?

Yeah, Tyson. Are we talking like I made Tyson in the oven? I feel like I used to do Tyson all the time. Banquet? Am I making banquet nuggets? What's that farm? What's the farm? Oh, Foster's Farm.

Foster's. Applewood Farms or some shit? That's some rich guy shit, man. What the fuck? Yeah, y'all are rich. Yeah, that's how we keep it out here in California. Yeah, yeah. I'm saying banquet nuggets.

I might go no ketchup. I might go no ketchup. For sure. But I don't have teriyaki? All right. No, you have nothing. You have soy sauce. Soy sauce?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have soy sauce. Like Adam, do you put ketchup on fish? Do I put ketchup on fish? No. No, I would use tartar sauce on fish sticks. Tartar sauce is bomb. But I'm saying would you go fish naked or would you rather be

like, I need something and put some ketchup on? Have you ever put ketchup on fish? I can't. I don't. I didn't eat a lot of fish growing up. You didn't have fish sticks? I had fish sticks and I think I always, we always had like tartar sauce for that.

I don't ever remember. So breaded fish sticks. Okay. Yeah. For me, I think the same thing. I don't think I put a lot of ketchup on the fish sticks. I think it was a tartar sauce's job. That being said, it doesn't sound that bad to me.

I think I would fuck it up. A fish stick into a little ketchup. Yummy, yummy, for my tummy. Weird, wild stuff. Yeah, it's because the bread, the bread tastes good in ketchup, so it'll be fine. Yeah, bread tastes great, dude. I think you're right.

I think ketchup can taste good on almost anything. But that's where you need to kind of look inward and go, I won't do that. Yes, thank you. That crosses a line. I agree, Anders. Do you fuck with ketchup on mac and cheese? Yes.

Oh, that's why trash. I do that. I'm not doing that. This is how I'll do it. If I have a whole like pot to myself, I'll do half no ketchup, then like the second half. It's all ketchup for old men. Let's go.

All ketchup for old men. That's the name of the day. Let me ask you something. Who here did you eat if you ever had spaghettios growing up? Did you guys have spaghettios? All the time. Oh, every damn day with the meatballs. Okay, meatballs, but not hot dog.

The hot dogs, I had that too. With the hot dogs? That's just delicious. What are you talking about? I eat that right now. That's actually delicious. I'm having that for dinner. That is suspect.

Nope. Adam's in. Adam's so locked in. Hot dog quality is already questionable. Think about the quality of hot dog they're slicing up in the spaghettio cans. Yeah. Yeah, yummy.

What do you mean? I know. It's probably pretty bad, dude. Like what is that? What is that? Dude, that is botulism. That is botulism. For sure it is.

Good call, Blake. Yeah, but also you ate it growing up, correct? I did. Sometimes. Let's step it up. You ate it growing up. Spaghettios, yes, yes. And I'm fucked up.

And you are. Hey, and can I say, you're strapping, Blake. When I look at your body, I'm like, that boy strapping. That's a body built by. Built by hot dogs. He must. Body built by hot dogs. What was the dumb quote in workaholics?

Was our hot dogs as good as they say they are? Yeah, it's something about our hot dogs as good as, I don't know. Well, it was funny. Yeah, you're making a documentary. It was. It was cool. We should go back and watch that one. I remember you end up with a gun filled with ketchup somehow.

I don't know how that went down. Can't remember how that happened. The hot dog Spaghettios is a no-no. That's a no-no. Chef Boyardee, shout out, raised me. What about as far as you know, when you were growing up, did y'all ever get cold hot dogs? Were you ever served cold hot dogs for snacks?

I'll go first. Absolutely. And what is wrong with this? Wait, what? We're saying it like it's gross. I'm going to feed my kids so many cold hot dogs. Are you serious? Gladiators, ready?

I will eat 1,000 hot dogs in one week and finally answer the question, are hot dogs as healthy as they say they are, or are they just OK for you? And I stand by it. Yeah, that's great. Ders, you didn't, I got served raw hot dogs from the fridge, but we get the ones with the cheese in it.

What are you talking about? Clean up on aisle vomit. You know the ones with the cheese in the middle? Aren't you from Chicago? I thought that's hot dog capital USA, like. Yeah, nobody, yeah. So you fucking, you honor that shit. You don't eat them raw.

Yeah, but you can't wait to get your, that salty dog on those taste buds. You can't wait to grill them up. It's the base. First of all, I know you guys weren't fucking with Vienna beef anyway, so this is all disqualified. No, no.

These are like ballpark friends, if that, dude. These are like the 24 pack. Yeah, we're talking Oscar Meyer. Yeah, that's fine. My shit is high V brand. I'm the local grocery store brand hot dogs. This is a kind of package that has the hot dog flavored water at the bottom of it,

and you're just scooping out of it. Dude, your mom never said, go get a hot dog from the fridge, go get a cold hot dog. Yeah. And you'd wrap it with cheese? The cost of diarrhea. This has to stop.

This has to stop. I don't want to throw, look, I don't want to throw stones in the glass house because my mom's move when she was making hamburgers was, she would give me like a little bit of the raw beef, put some salt on it, and I would eat that. That's disgusting. Yeah, that's fucking gnarly.

That right there is way more gross than this hot dog. No. I'm a man. You can't eat them cold. No. You can't eat them cold. You're not supposed to eat raw beef raw. It's, it's yeah.

Hot dogs are pre-cooked, aren't they? Yes, they are. She was trying to kill me. Right, but look. Meat is not pre-cooked, Anders. I was an accident. I, she was trying to murder me. Oh, baby, will you die?

But I think people used to eat raw, what is it called, steak tartar, right? Well, they still have it, but it's a quality, it's not ground beef. Yeah, or sushi. Listen, listen, listen, steak tartar is ground beef. I love it. It's not ground beef.

Yeah, it is. It's not like the kind you make a hamburger from. You put an egg over ground beef. Is that how they do it? Yes, that's meatloaf. Yeah, that's the starts to meatloaf exactly, dog. I've been ordering that at like nice restaurants whenever I go out to a nice restaurant,

I'm like, ooh, steak tartar, yeah, that's good. I'm just eating raw hamburger meat, some regular ass hamburger meat. It's not like higher quality. No, it's, no, it's like pounded out filet, right? That's what I think. I think it's like a nice steak that they've seasoned. Adults, any adults, no.

I guess my point is that it's called steak tartar. What is it called when you eat a cold hot dog out of the refrigerator? Is there any French name for it? It's called fucking Thursday, dog. It's called being a youth in the 90s. Blake's favorite decade. Bro, here we go.

Steak tartar is a meat dish made from raw ground. Hold up, I'm reading this definition right now. Steak tartar is a meat dish made from raw ground or minced beef or horse meat. That is often served with a raw egg on top. That's the nastiest fucking shit I've ever heard of. You didn't say that word, raw egg. Raw egg, what?

Yes, I did. He did. He said that. He said it. Oh, the yolk? The yolk? Yeah. He said it. I was unsure if it was raw or cooked when he said it,

but he did say egg. He's saying the yolk part. He's teasing. The yolk. I'm having fun with it. I'm making fun of how he says yolk. Oh, I got you. I don't fuck with any of this shit anymore,

but I was a part of the struggle. I did have the raw hot dog. Mommy. Oh, my God. Blake, thank you, Blake. Oh. We got a little money in our pockets now. Now we're too good for raw hot dogs.

I'm actually like ashamed by all of us right now. Honestly, it's never crossed my mind to eat a raw, or like an uncooked or unheated hot dog. That is so bizarre to me. Well, how do kids get worms? I feel like this is how kids get worms, is like you eat raw hot dogs. Yeah, who's getting worms?

No, what's wrong with a raw hot dog? Because Kyle's talking about drinking the juice out of the bag. No, I just said it's hot dog flavored water. I was quoting that biscuit. I bet that'd be like a, you know how like they always make like shots that are, that usually people take on like their 21st birthday, they just give their friend the grossest shot.

That's a funny name for shot. It's like hot dog flavored water. I wonder if that's an actual shot. It's like you mix it with gin, bro. And it's actually, it's actually just as bad as you'd think. I wouldn't say that there, if you may, if somebody invented a gross shot and just called it hot dog water,

that's a great shot. I love it. Right. It's funny. You go to the bar, you're like, can I get a hot dog water? For sure. But it has to have hot dog water in it.

For sure they have to have a bag of hot dog water. Yeah. It's also very fun to order. You go up to the bar, you say, can I get hot dog water for me and my buddies? Wait, my point is no one's going to be keeping hot dog water at a bar. They will if it's their specialty shot.

The thing is, is at the same bar, you can just go grab a hot dog out of the thing and fucking eat it. You don't even have to cook it because it's all good. Exactly. Wait, hold up, hold up. What even is hot dog water? Is it the hot dog sweating?

Is it like blood? It's not blood. It's whatever they put it in so that it doesn't go bad. It's whatever they have. It's a preservative water. Why is this happening? What? It's a preservative water, right?

No. Can I finish? Yes. Yes, it is. Hot dog water is the water you boil hot dogs in, period. It's not the juice in the package. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Kyle, you are incorrect.

Oh, I thought it was from the bag. Yes, I started to buy into what Kyle said. No. No, no, no, no. Hot dog water is when you go to the, we go to get a, at the fucking Cubs game or whatever, wherever you get your hot dog out of the boiling water, that's hot dog water.

Sure. Okay, that's fine. Hey, sure, I'll drink a glass of that. That sounds delicious. Sure, that's fine. So what is the mucus in the bag with the hot dogs? That's the preservational. That's the thing that preserves it.

It's the thing that. That's just probably in there for moisture to like keep it slippery. Oh my God. Yeah, I bet you like, I think it like keeps it cooked. So it's okay to eat. It's like slowly cooking it, that water in there. Are hot dogs cooked when you buy them?

Yeah, they're pre-cooked. Hot dogs are cooked when you buy them, yes. Yeah, yeah. They're pre-cooked. I mean, I think we should check on that, but. That's why, that's why it's not gross. And that's why I'm weirded out that you're too good for it. It's just cold.

It's, it's fine. But you have it a lot. And I'll be honest, I don't like next day cold stuff, like fried chicken the next day. I'm not a huge fan of, I'd rather reheat it. Spaghetti? Do you like the spaghetti? I mean, I do like cold spinach pizza.

You guys know that. I almost died eating it. You gotta eat cola or E. coli. Cold pizzas, what's up? Yeah, old pizza, great. I like my food cold. I prefer it to sit a day before I eat it, if I'm honest. Yeah.

All right. Talk a little bit more about that. What's your favorite one? For once, he's being honest with us. Finally, you're being honest. And what is your favorite cold dish, Blake? Cold dish? I mean, yeah, I'm calling you on your,

on your favorite way to eat food, cold a day late. I love cold pizza. I love cold pasta. I love cold Chinese food. I love cold everything. I'll eat everything cold. Sorry. So you go cold before hot?

No. No, I. No, you just said you prefer it cold. What? Only on hot dogs. And that's what I heard. And I'm just making sure. And Kyle all of a sudden is like,

I'm going to protect my friend with words. I'm being honest with you. And then you said, I'm being honest with you. I prefer it cold a day later. Right. I'm being honest with you. Oh, right. Yeah.

You're a dumb ass. It's a tree. Thank you, Kyle. It's a tree I look forward to the next day. And I often enjoy it more than the first day. Is everybody okay with that? So bullshit. Yeah.

That's my, that's my question. I was like, so you like it? I love it. I assumed you were talking about that. If you ordered like food to come to your house and then you threw it in the freezer for 40 minutes. No, no, no, no, no. Now don't get me wrong here, guys.

That's so tight. I like it if it just like sits out for a day. Like not even in the fridge. Yeah, I don't want to. Oh, I got you wrong. What do you mean? I'm glad you clarified. I did get you wrong.

What are you talking about? Yeah, what's up now? Like for instance, if you get like fried rice and you don't eat it all right the day of, you don't put the fried rice into the refrigerator, you just leave it on the counter in like the box. This is what I was worried about with this podcast is that we just, we overexpose ourselves and everyone knows.

They know how, they for sure now stupid we are now. And now they know we just eat raw hot dogs willy-nilly. I still love you. By the way, the raw hot dogs thing is going to be a thing that comes back and bites you because the world over is going to come and say, yeah, we all grew up on raw hot dogs. Ders is insane for not enjoying the splendors

of a cold raw hot dog. I think you're going to be in the minority of people that are like, hey, we all were youths and we all were told to just go get a cold hot dog. I had a, I would ride a bike to Mustard's Last Stand four blocks from my house and just get a hot dog. Okay, humble brag. That's tight.

We get it. You're close to a cool hot dog stand. Yes, we get it. The fucking best. Hey, a lot of us didn't get to grow up near cool hot dog stands and we had to eat cold hot dogs from the refrigerator. I wouldn't be angry at me. I'd be mad at your parents.

Okey-dokey. They decided to settle where there weren't hot dogs in. Leases hot dogs. Shout out to Leases Hot Dogs. Yeah, I will say we did have a super good hot dog place in Concord called Leases Hot Dogs. Shout out to Leases Hot Dogs, baby. Best hot dogs.

Best hot dogs, Leases Hot Dogs. Ketchup and cheese dog. Ketchup and cheese? Yes, ketchup and cheese dog. It's so, oh my God. Yes, a cheese dog. You never had a fucking cheese dog? You never had a cheese dog?

You never had a hot dog with some ketchup on it? You know what other good hot dogs you had? Caspers, one with the C and one with a K. Really good hot dog. Well, I'm going to go on a limb and say that even the best hot dog I've ever had. Snap it though. It's just all fun.

They're all fine. It's all okay. What? Yeah. Quiet! Wrong. I'm never like, oh my God, this hot dog. I'm sorry.

Did I never make you a dick cause Italian sausage hot dog ever? Never. I don't believe so. Dude, is that a big ass hot dog bro? Can I just have a, because when I went, when I went to your house, Anders, you made me one of these and I housed it. It's amazing.

Fucking housed it and I got the, like some fucking crazy sweating happened immediately after eating it. Like insane. Like my shirt was fucking drenched. That's the hot dog water. You got the meat sweat. So fucking scary, dude.

It was one of the last times I had meat. Like. It's a sodium bomb for sure, but the dick cause sausages are next level. And I thought it was going out, man. I hear the name Ditka. I associate it with one man. Is it indeed sponsored by Mike Ditka?

Yes. Oh my God. Wow. No, it's, uh, it's Mori Ditka's sausages. Not to be given more. This is a football coach. This isn't a hot dog guy. Come on.

Yeah, Mike. It's Chicago. What are you talking about? It's Mike Ditka. It's obviously Chicago. What, you guys know Mike Ditka to be cranking out sausages? Yeah.

I know him to put his name on stuff that he sells that's delicious. That is, that's wildly Chicagoan, like Italian sausage. Yeah. Well, I just wanted to double check. All right. You never know.

There could have been Steve Ditka. There's a lot. It's a common name. It's, uh, Whitney Ditka. I went to Michael Jordan's steakhouse. Wait a minute. Hold up. Is this, is this Michael V.

Michael? Michael Jordan. Uh, yeah. Wait a second. Is this Michael B. Jordan? Wait, Michael, Michael B. Jordan flipped steaks? No, wait. Damn.

Oh, buddy. Michael Ditka. All right. All right. All ready. I might eat one of those cold and, cold and raw or whatever the fuck you guys do. You'd eat a raw.

See now, I don't know if those ones are cooked. Which ones? Like our sausages cooked. I think sausages are raw. That's what I'm saying. I don't know if they're cooked. You can't do it. It's hot dogs.

It's just hot dogs. Hot dogs only, dude. Yeah. I don't think sausages. Like, I think it's the ballpark specifically, because I don't know if the Vienna beef joints are cooked. I remember when my mom was like, don't eat that one. Like she was.

Don't eat that one. Don't eat those ones. Like there was special ones I could eat and I couldn't. I don't know. I don't do any of the stuff that they tell me to do. Any time that, you know how you're supposed to wash your produce before eating it? Eat it hands down every time.

Oh, baby, will you die? I never wash it. Right. Have you ever been to a grocery store? Yeah, I go. Yeah, so people pick up all the fruit and squeeze and touch and do all that. You should definitely get in the habit of washing them.

Yeah, and then I still eat them 100% every time without washing it. And yet, COVID-free since 83. Hit me with the horn, Blake. Hit me with the horn. Yeah, yeah. But you should get in the habit, you know, just wash it. There's a lot of stuff on there. There's a lot of stuff on the outside of it.

I'm with you, Kyle. No, but there isn't. And I'm healthy as hell. I'm healthy as a fucking ox. Like if it's a banana, who gives a fuck because you're peeling it back. You know what I mean? Which terrifies you? Which color who gives a fuck because you're cutting it back.

You know what I mean? If it's got a shell on it, fucking don't worry about it. But if you're grubbing on the skin of it, you should probably make it a habit to- Are you waiting? Hang on. Let's get this straight. Let's be honest, as Blake was earlier. Yes, I'd like to be honest.

Are you grubbing on the skins, Adam? This is a part about honesty, brother. I would like to be honest right now and say that I stand by what I said. I grub all my skins. I eat it all. I never wash it. I eat apples. I eat the whole core of the apple.

I don't care. I mean, I'm sucking on the stem. You might as well go to the grocery store and just go around licking people's fingers. Yes. But how come, and here we go, maybe I'm a conspiracy theorist, he says, yeah, he says, yeah, but- That's Adam Devine.

How come I am never sick? You're always sick as soon as you're like, as soon as you wrap on anything, you're sick instantly. You know that, correct? You were very sick when we made workaholics. You were very sick all the time. Well, that was because my tonsils. I got my tonsils taken out, what, three years ago and haven't been six cents.

Tonsils. Six cents. Well, you have a six cents? Haven't six cents. You've never seen the six cents? You have a six cents? Adam, I will say, I've never seen six cents. I got my tonsils taken out three years ago and I've never seen six cents.

You've never seen six cents? These are my two claims to fame. I don't really rinse my grocery store stuff either. I'm going to start just adding that to every sentence I say. Yeah, yesterday went for a drive and I've never seen six cents. Just in case you don't want anybody to spoil it for you, you just throw it out there. No spoilers. And please no spoilers.

No spoilers? I haven't seen six cents. OK, let's continue. Are they happening? I'm a big fan. Yeah, like that one. Good stuff. I know it's going to be referenced.

I'm just looking for time. I haven't seen six cents. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions

so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down and that's when I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home.

What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I got to get out of the house. He's going to find out that I've seen this, he's going to come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte of Bridgerton's story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins.

Come with me because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel. Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning

and getting to the heart of the show. All while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte of Bridgerton's story with the creatives, the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, Thursdays on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts.

We were talking about this a little bit before we started the pod, and Kyle wasn't wasn't with this yet. I was late. I was late today. I'm sorry about that. He was a little late today, but that's okay. But I was, I, where I'm going to get married in Mexico, they have these. Let me ask, is this cultural appropriation? Okay, I want to ask, and I want to know. Usually, if you have to start a sentence this way, it is.

Okay, go ahead. It is, or maybe it isn't. Don't know, that's why I'm asking. They sell these like dope sombreros, okay, and they're giant, and they're beautiful. Hand-woven, classic, they're nice, good stuff. If I rock that, is that cultural appropriation? And hear me out, I want a hat like that, because I'm in the sun a lot, and I don't want to immediately look old as shit.

You know how you see older guys that have been in the sun for years, and you're like, oh my God, that guy is 85 years old, and they're like, he's really 52, and you're like, oh Jesus, I don't want that. So a giant sombrero would be handy. Is that cultural appropriation? What else? I mean, I guess, I don't know. I mean, what else are you wearing? Well, you could have a cowboy hat.

You could get one of those San Diego sun hats that all the bros wear. No, but that's what they wore in Vietnam, those giant hats. No, no, no, not to the point, the ones that are just like a sun hat. I don't think it has a country of origin. Yeah, but is a sombrero, I say, personally, I say fuck it, and I think I would look good in a sombrero, and I would like to honor their heritage by having me rock a sombrero for the entire wedding. What's cool to me is that you just said, I'm going to say fuck it and honor them,

regardless of what anyone says. I'm saying fuck it to honor them. Yeah, and I think I stand by that. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's actually, that's all you really need to do is ask yourself, why are you wearing this sombrero? And if it is to honor them, truthfully is, then, no, truthfully, it's to keep the sun off my face.

That's what is truthfully. Yeah, and it's a cultural hat that's in that area where you're getting married. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know. There's one, there's only one reason for a white person to wear a Mexican sombrero, and that is to cover up your Indian headdress that you're wearing. Wearing that Coachella. And that you're like, oh fuck, somebody gave me a side eye. Let me just borrow this big sombrero.

Well, I will say the one, I usually have my birthday at my favorite Mexican restaurant, Don Cucco, and I just love them to death. And they're super nice to me over there. And they are great. The last birthday I went to, they put a sick ass sombrero on my head. Like, oh, I remember that. Yeah, all decorated nice. And then they're like, you keep that.

And I'm like, no way, this is fucking awesome. But yes, way, I will keep it for sure. I'll hang it in my house. But we went out the rest of the night and you can't just pocket a sombrero. It's fucking huge. You got to wear it. Right, right. Where are you putting that?

But what was the worst part of it is we went to another birthday party. A little name drop LP from run the jewels has the same birthday as me. So we went over to his house party and I'm wearing this fucking sombrero. And who else ends up being there? But Zach De La Rocha from the fucking rage against the machine. So I'm in this party wearing a sombrero talking to like the lead singer rage against the machine. For rock, huh? Yeah, like I felt like such a fucking idiot.

Now there's all these the only pictures I have with these people who I look up to so much. I'm rocking a sombrero and I just feel terrible. Well, did they give you any kind of side eyes or were they just like this guy with his dope ass hat? This guy seems fun. Yeah. They didn't say anything, but I still felt like a fucking idiot. Yeah, that might just be your insecurities and not at all them. It might they might not have cared at all.

You know what I mean? Well, I do. I guess I see it as like a form of cultural appropriation. Yeah. Okay. So you're looking back on those pictures saying like, fuck, I shouldn't have worn this sombrero. No, I mean, I can back. I can talk back.

Like I know why I was doing it. I wasn't like trying to be insensitive, but for sure. What's like you're for better or for worse, probably for worse. This is wearing a sombrero as a white dude. You're getting lumped in with everyone who does not give a fuck. Right? Sure. Who?

True. Like Cinco de Mayo, motherfucker. Represent that. So like, yeah, maybe you just don't wear it because you don't want to be mistaken for that. Or it was one night and now hangs in my home. But yeah, I wouldn't have made the decision to go out like, this is my fucking funny party yet. Guys, well, the entire wedding party, I'm going to gift you all a sombrero when you get in. And we have to wear it the entire week.

And I'm going to take all of our wedding pictures in them. So please honor my wishes by wearing this sombrero the entire week. Thank you. Oh, yeah. I think when you're, when you are wearing the plate, like if you're in Mexico wearing a sombrero, I feel like you're good. You're good to go. If you go to Hawaii, you can throw the hang loose in every fucking picture, man.

Rock the fucking, you can rock the lay. You're all good. You're in, you're in their space. When in Rome. Coconut bras. Right. Right. I mean, because I don't know.

I think so. I think it's okay to wear, I think it's okay to wear a sombrero while in Mexico, man. I think that's fine. I don't, I don't see why there's an issue there. Because if someone has a problem with it, they'll just go, no, and you'll go, all right, here. Right. Okay. Maybe take a few pictures, one, one with, do a take with it on and a take with it off or something,

you know? Who knows? I'm down. Just for your own, just because. I'm, yeah. Hey, hey, Twitter, tell us. Oh, who knows? I might, I might stay, I might stay steadfast with my 100% of all photos in the sombrero rule.

Right. But we're not sure yet. Yeah. You don't want to do two takes of the wedding on one day? No, I think we're going to just do, it's going to be like a one take kind of wedding ceremony. Okay guys, back to one, back to one. Chloe also has it, also we, they're going to be giant. So like the spacing is going to be all weird of us standing up there.

We have to like stand like eight feet away from each other because he's a dumb ass giant sombrero. You know what though? They're not dumb. That's how they make them. Yeah, now you're shit on them, dude. I'm getting giant ones. I'm getting extra. I'm getting comically large ones.

There's no such thing. They're all purposely giants. Now I'm like, no, wait a minute. If you're getting comically large sombreros, that's not the way to go. Like you need to get to fucking dope ass legit sombreros. That's not a sombrero. That's a lot of brero. Yeah, you need a little less brero.

I'm going to get the regular Montabrero. Yeah, I'm going to get a Reg Montabrero. They do so real classy, nice ones there that I think are all going to look good, hand-woven, look good on my boys as we're sipping our beverages of choice. I mean, look, can you not drink like Mexico? Like that's like, can you not drink tequila? Although Homegirl got penned up on that, right? That's different.

What happened? No, but that's that. Yeah, what are you talking about? Kendall Jenner like made a. She was drinking Pepsi. Yes, but she's starting a tequila company and everyone's like, you can't. Oh, so many have done it before her. Like they're just getting on her because she's so mad.

Sure, of course. I don't know. I'm not in charge. Look, I've never seen the success. But that's different because look at all four of us. Probably couldn't even tell you what the like significance of a sombrero in their culture to keep the sun off their face. Yeah.

Hot. I like to think that, but maybe there's different kinds as well. Like there's ceremonial ones and then there's like field worker ones or whatever. Like there's probably different versions of said garb. It's not like for sure. For sure there is. It's definitely like you can have probably your dress up sombreros if you're fortunate enough to be going to those types of ceremonies and have that.

This will be a wedding sombrero. So they'll be pretty classy, you know? And then I'll have other sombreros that are more for, as Blake said, field work. I probably won't have you guys be doing any field work the week of the wedding, but that'll be more like lounging pool stuff. So there will be different sombreros for different occasions. You're going to get us out there to pick some grub for you. Don't wash it.

I can't wait to go to Chloe and be like, hey, we need a $10,000 sombrero budget. I kind of promised the guys on the podcast multiple sombreros. They're dope. They look on the, when you wear them on the back, they look real tight. Like when you're the band and like you're done for the night, you just take the hat off, hang it off. Yeah. Yeah, some bros are sick, dude.

They're sick. What else is fucking dope? Hey, you want to know? I don't know if you guys saw me stunting, bro, but check it out. What is that? Oh, a plastic watch. What is that, a G-shock? I got my motherfucking first G-shock watch.

What up? I've been wanting this since high school. I finally pulled a trigger. Is that an old one or is that a new one? Wow, dang. Brand new. G-shock is still in the fucking building. They got new G-shocks?

Oh, dude, it's a whole thing. And you just, you found, you had that spare $80 laying around and you were like, man, I got a splurge. I got to treat myself. They get kind of expensive now. No, Adam's about right. He's in the ballpark. Really?

Yeah, dude. No, but the thing was, it's like, at least back in high school, Kyle, you may be able to like... Wasn't there something in high school? That's the last time I had a G-shock watch. Yes, but also we had a whole thing going through our high school where I think allegedly, Naveed was like selling bootlegs. Yes. This is where I got it.

Who? Our boy, Naveed, back in the day, he was selling like... Are you blowing his spot up? What is it? Statue of limitations? Is that what it's called? What? Anyway, somebody in our high school.

Anyway, so he sold these watches and killed a kid. He murdered people. He electrocuted it and we all called them G-shock and then he bought the watch. Shocked him to death. Yeah, there was... No, he was selling bootlegs. Yeah. He was selling bootlegs and you could tell because like the G at the bottom back in the day,

his would be like upside down or something. It was like, oh, shit. Yeah, I had a red and gray one. Of a fake one? Yeah. I thought mine was real. I thought it was real. I thought he just got them somehow.

I don't know. No, that's not that bizarre. They're super popular. No, dude, at our school, they were a status symbol for sure. If you had a G-shock watch, you were fucking bowling. Well, they never were that expensive, I thought. I thought they were always fairly reasonable. But for a high school kid, that's expensive.

For sure, dude. Yeah, like when you're coming up on like an $80, $100 watch, that's a big look for a high school. I mean, I'm getting cold hot dogs out here, brother. I'm just trying to fucking live, man. I had a Timex Expedition. If you guys remember that one, pretty outstanding watch. Had in the glow capabilities. In the glow.

Hell yeah. My grandmother gave me a, she went to Mexico and got a gold sombrero. Got a gold sombrero, got a gold Rolex, fake Rolex, and gave it to me. But I was like, I wasn't even in high school. I was in like fourth grade. So then I go to elementary school with this gold Rolex on, just flexing on everybody. But also no one cared because they're like, we're true children. I do not care.

But I had this, I was actually like, man, I wish it like truly turned green like within a year and I couldn't wear it after that. But I was kind of bummed that I was like, as I got older, I'm like, I wish I had one of those. Yeah. Fake Rollies, Olay's. Yeah, bro. Sick ass Olay. Dude, they make crazy fake Rolexes that are actually expensive because they look so real.

Maybe that's what I start doing. Maybe because I do really like watches, but like to drop, because I mean, Rolexes are honestly, just like the price of like a nice car. So you can. Jesus fucking Christ. They start way lower than that. They start around seven or eight and then you work your way up. Sure.

They started a fairly shitty car to a really nice car. What car will they use? Sure. Yeah. And I don't see myself going down that road. That does seem like a lot of money. So maybe what I do is I just get the fake Rolex. Hit up my boy, Naveed.

We hit up Naveed and he gets me plugged in with this fake Rolex. And then I'll always be flossing. Bro, that was so sick. I like saying that now. So if I ever buy myself a nice watch in the future, everyone's going to be like, yeah, but he says it's fake. Right, right. Don't rob them.

It's not real. Blake, I'm pumped that you got that G-Shock watch. Thanks, man. I'm pumped for you. I know how much that means to you in high school. I was like, that's fucking sick. Yeah, well, I'm proud of Blake because now he'll know the time and he'll be like punctual and be like, yeah.

That's fucking frigo. It's like made out of plexiglass. It's just, yeah, something plastic problem. That shit's fucking rad. Thank you. Plexiglass watch. I had to carry around my my digital watch because I couldn't tell time until I was very old. You couldn't read either.

I know. What do you mean you couldn't tell time, dude? These are, hey, guys, we're all coming clean here. Well, you didn't know what the hand said? So you are your dumbest friend, basically. Of course. Oh, bro, I've always been my dumbest friend. And then I met you guys and I got so confused.

You son of a bitch. I got so confused because everyone would be like, Anders, can you tell the guys to get together? Or like, I was like, what? Why is everyone looking at me like I have any sort of responsibility? Dude, it's because you wore polos and shit. That is true. You wore polos and you wore khakis and people just assume.

You had a good business front going on, partner. Kids would cheat off me in school and then we'd get the tests back. And then I would like walk because I would see them like looking over my shoulder and I'd be like, well, this will be interesting. And then I would get like a D or whatever. And then they'd be like, what the fuck? The teacher probably had to make an announcement like y'all cheated off Ders this week, didn't you? Everybody cheated on Ders?

Oh my God. But I couldn't tell time until like fucking college. Wow. What's up? That's wild dude. Damn. Like the hands of a clock? Yeah.

Yeah. You couldn't tell time. You could tell time. Uh, bro, he just said he couldn't. I know, but I'm not buying it. Listen to me. I like skipped the whole thing in elementary school. And then I just started carrying around.

I had a digital watch that I would hang off my belt. But on like the clocks of the classroom, that those things. Oh, because you had your watch, so you didn't give a fuck. I had my watch, so I never did. It didn't matter because you had the numbers. This is so bizarre. I mean, but to be fair, that like being able to tell time is going to be a lost art, right? Because you don't have to anymore.

Because you don't have to, it's on your phone. You got your phone. But then like my dad was like, it's not going to be a lost art, dude. Look at Adam. So what you're doing right now, Adam, my dad did because he was like, what time is it? And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. And he was like, what are you talking about?

Because I didn't have my watch. And I was like, I was like, I don't know what it says. And he goes, you don't know how to tell time. And I was like, I just never, I mean, I know the long hand. And then he goes, okay. And he like sat me down. And like, so if I look at a clock, it takes me so long to go. Okay.

Like three, three, 40s, three, 47 or whatever it is. Whereas if you or somebody else would just look at it and be like, three, 47. Immediately. Uh-huh. Oh my God. That's wild, man. That is wild. But now you have like a nice watch.

You wear a nice watch. Now I do. I have a Rolex. And I can tell time now, baby. Well, that's fucking awesome. When you look at that Rolex, does it take you a really long? Like you spent a lot of money on this Rolex. Is it just jewelry?

Are you able to use it as a watch? It is 99% jewelry. Wow. And 0.5%. Just like, it's, I mean, yeah, it's barely a watch. It's barely a watch. You couldn't, you couldn't delegate that at last, uh, 1%. I was trying.

No, I was trying to say it was going to be like less than 1% of me using it as a watch. But like what's funny is I, I, so I got an Apple watch too. And I have it on the like the hands face to make me practice looking at a clock. Yeah, bro. It's a good. This is cool. We found out the, uh, the title of this podcast is Anders Can't Tell Time. I can't.

That's incredible. There's only like two parts to telling time too. It's like, there's three, I guess, the hour. Oh, I can't fucking seconds if you're fortunate enough. Oh my God. You are so dumb. I have, I can't even, I'll go, I'll go down the road. Like the months of the year.

Oh no. What's wrong with the months of the year? I didn't know those until I was like, until I was like 18. You are so dumb. What do you mean, homie? This is not, this is now you're just having fun with us, right? I don't, I don't know Ders to be a lying man. This is not me doing this for entertainment at all.

This is not like. Okay. Why would I, why would I make this up? Why would I want to be dumb? I was just checking in. I'll be softer. Here's, here's what I think about, about Ders. Is I think Ders is a really smart person.

I also think he digs, I think he digs his heels in. And I bet in elementary school, when they were talking about time, he was, he was defiantly and was like, fuck you, I'm, I'm taking pride in not knowing time. Right. That's what I think. I don't even know how to tell time. Oh no, dude, I was never stoked on not knowing time.

No one of me. Well, then why didn't you just learn I, because I do not believe that you were, are this dumb because I know you and I think you're a pretty smart guy. Yeah. So what was the stopping point pride? What stopped you from figuring it out when you were say 13? Like, is that what you were doing?

Just going back to the things that you never learned. So I'm just, these are years we're talking about. Years of like, of like, I don't know how to wear, I don't know how to, how to tell time. I have to wear my little, my digital clock on my belt. Yes. And then everybody else sees that and they know. Right.

And I'm not going to anybody for help. I'm just living with that fact and I'm okay with that fact. And I can't change it. What the fuck? Dude, I'm telling you, I got, I got shit, shit sucks. But for the months, the months of the year, like February, it was like, I didn't, January, February, March, right? That's what it is.

Yeah. Okay. That was always confusing to me. And then as far as, after July, the whole, it's a blur, August, September, October, October, November, November, like all of that. You almost forgot? No, I didn't.

I didn't. I swear to God, I know now. Oh my God. But I never knew the order of the. So every month was like a new surprise to you. They'd be like, ah, it's October and you're like, what? Whoa. Kind of crazy.

So what happens at October? And they're like, this one like football games happen. You're like, aw, sick. Oh no. No, no, no, no. Yeah, I didn't like, yeah, it was a whole thing. It was a whole thing. Wow, man.

Wow. I mean, I think we all are dumb. We all are dumb in certain ways, admittedly. We are a very dumb crew in certain ways. I didn't realize that Der's ways are pretty common knowledge ways. I thought they were different. I mean, I can't spell at all. We ate raw hot dogs, but motherfucker, you can't tell time

or know what month it is. So I mean, hey, time's a concept. So yeah, that's that song. Who sings that? Chicago. Does anyone really know what time it is? Is that what we're talking about? Does anybody really know what time it is?

Yeah. What is that? Yeah, that's true. Does anyone really know what time it is? Yes. Yeah. And then the next line is, does anybody really care about time? What are you guys talking about?

And that's Chicago. It's a Chicago song and Der's is from Chicago. So he took, he took it. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences

by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception.

I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I got to get out of the house.

He's going to find out that I've seen this, he's going to come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, DC. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can. Signed freeway phantom.

This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. My mother's full. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time.

Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to freeway phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For swimming, you use like a giant stopwatch clock right on the side. Yes. So we had that, but then we also had the digital clock. When the digital clock was bumping and we had to do like 10 whatever's on like 115. Adam just left the chatty so pissed. I would be like, okay, cool.

It like tells you where like when to go it'll beep. But when it was like just a regular 60 second clock, I would be like crunching numbers and doing math in my head while I'm swimming like, I don't know when to fucking go. So I would always go to like the back of the lane and just let somebody else do the counting and shit. And then I just go five seconds behind them. Is that why you were fast?

Because you didn't know how fast you were going. You were just swimming until your heart exploded. No, I think if anything, I could have been faster. If I knew how to sell time and could go fast and train a little harder. But I always had to let somebody go ahead of me because I would just like get so lost trying to keep track of time. Man, this is the only motherfucker who would get lost going swimming straight. Damn homie.

That's wild. Learn something new every day. And I'm back. I truly thought Adam left because he was so mad because I have never seen Adam's face so disturbed and angry due to the fact that Anders could not tell time. It was like Adam was doing math. He was getting salty. Yeah.

Hey, Adam has long division. You have time. That's me and math. You have time. I'm just dumb. Both numbers. You guys both are like fuck numbers. Yeah.

Straight up and down. I will say fuck numbers. I do hate numbers. Fuck numbers. And also I was as I was saying when I my internet went out a second ago. Goodbye. I can't not spell at all. And my handwriting is so fucking bad that like as a comic I'm always writing in notebooks

trying to think of new bits and ideas that are like half cooked ideas that you just write something down in. And I've lost a notebook before and I had my number in the notebook and the person called me and I was too embarrassed to go get the notebook because I knew that they were going to read my handwriting. I was like, no, no, you keep that. That's all good. But wait.

So they didn't know it was you. They just saw the phone number in there. They just saw the phone number and they just called didn't know who it was. And I was just like, yeah, no, it's all good. I don't need that notebook. Kind of wish I had the notebook. But like, can I use that butt chugging bit? Got your jokes back.

You just gave somebody hell of jokes. Yeah. They're like, that's a lot of butt chugging every page. He's really it's just butt chugging question mark. Butt chugging parts around it. Please work on butt chugging bit little pep talks to myself. So the other day I was butt chugging. More butt chug crowd work.

It would be great if you did see somebody doing your material and you're like, fuck. Yes. Some open mic comic just comes in real hot with just like 20 minutes of new new butt chugging bits. And Lorne Michaels is like, I want him on my show. He's got something different. I've never heard those types of butt chugging bit. Hit the butt chugging guy. I love that you're Larry the cable guy get her done was butt chug.

And you might need the butt chug. Butt chug. Have you ever not been able to tell time? Have you ever butt chugged hot dog water? Yummy. What do we do with it? We butt chug it. We butt chug it.

What would have happened to you if you butt chugged hot dog water? Nothing. You'd be totally fine. Oh, fuck. You're fine. Adam had that answer so quick. Actually nothing. I don't know, dude.

I don't know. That's a lot of sodium. You'd probably shit your fucking brains out because it's like an enema. Yeah, you'd probably feel good afterwards. You'd shit your brains out. No, you'd be so strong. You would spray. I think the salinity would fuck your butthole up, dude.

What would? The salinity. The salinity. What is salinity? The salt. Salinity. The salt. Yeah, the salt water.

Dog, you can't make up fake words and act all smart. Bro, this is science class. This is science? Science? Oh, it's science. Is this science? It's science. That's chemistry.

Salinity. That is the amount of salt in water. That seems real. Yes. And I think that that, Blake, just to finish that real quick, I think that's what an enema is, is salt water. So I think that's why you would shit your brains out. Is it?

Yeah, I believe so. Well, if we ever do a live podcast, which I think we should someday, I think we should all do a live podcast when we can all get together. I think it'd be really fun. We do a big live podcast event. We got to butchug hot dog flavored water.

Hot dog? Hot dog water? Yeah, we have to. No flavored water. Yeah, not actual. Yeah, no, I'm out. I'm not going to do that. You're not?

Apologies. You know what? Then I guess we won't do it because if you're not going to do it, then we won't do it. Forget it. Yeah, my apologies. All right, one of us is out,

then the rest of us is out. That's OK. I was ready to do it if everyone was in. But I think everybody was ready to do it and then Kyle biked out and that's fine. I'm so sorry, Anders. I know how much you wanted to do that and how much me betraying that hurt you.

I'm pissed now. And is that because you're vegan, like you don't want to do it because you're vegan? No, no, it has nothing to do with that. Can you butchug veggie hot dog water? Yeah, are you allowed to? What? Can I put the hot dog water in?

As a vegan, can you butchug hot dog water? I don't think you could. I don't think so. I don't think you could. Is that breaking edge? You're putting animal byproduct. Kyle, are you vegan? No, I'm a vegetarian.

Vegetarian. But no matter what, we're talking about hot dogs. So it doesn't really matter. I think you're good to go. Yeah, but it's not hot dogs. It's just the water. Yeah, but I would imagine that that is still animal byproduct and if you're a strict kind of vegan or vegetarian,

you're not putting that in your body. Yeah, but it's not in your, it's just up your butthole. Yeah. For me, yes, in your body, inside of your body. The butthole of your body? Right, the butthole that's attached to your body and connected to it's one of the- What if you do a water balloon of hot dog water up your ass?

Wait, hang on. The thing is, this has nothing to do with- So it's about being in your body? What if you had a pink sock? Right, right. Your asshole came out of your asshole and then we filled that with hot dog water. So it's outside of your body.

Good point. Or you dip the pink sock in hot dog flavored water. Yes. Can we do that? Can we do that? I don't know. I think that that's still good at some point stuck back up into your body.

Okay. Remember, this is for the live show. We've got something special. Can we do that for the live show? For the live? I'm not doing it. I'm not putting that out. Okay, then we're all out.

Guess we want to ask for the- Oh man. I'm sorry to be the guy. I had the butthole out and everything. I hate to be the guy. It's just, you know- That sucks because we were all in, but- That sucks because we're going to do a live hot dog

water butt chug. You'll pick me then. And you just fucking- I ruined it. Well, that's on you though. Hey fans, if you want to blame anybody for not seeing us live butt chug hot dog flavored water, that's on Kyle.

That is on Kyle. And we're sorry about that, but it is what it is. And Kyle, if you want to kick this off, if anybody has any apologies or take backs, you got to take back. Oh man, I have- You'll take some back? Would you like to take anything back?

Yeah, I guess I'll take some back. I mean, I guess I thought about it for a couple seconds. And if my dudes really want to, you know, put on butt chug show at one of our live podcasts and it's kind of up, you know, they're down with it and they're down to go, I will go forth. You'll what? Friendship.

I will go forth. You'll go what? Forth. Forth. So first it will be the three of you. Like you'll go, like I'll go first. You'll go forth in line. I will go forth.

I'm going to go last. Like you guys are all going to go first and I'm going to go last when we do this live on stage. I'm not going to do that. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not, I'm not buying it. I think I would be a powerful finish. I think it would be powerful to have a vegetarian-

Because you would have to come over your vegetarian roots. Yes, I think the story of mine, I'm going to try and thread it throughout and then, you know, really take it home. Well, imagine the t-shirts we could sell of an aruguloid, our aruguloid cartoon character, that taking a butt chugging hot dog flavored enema, I mean, they would fly off the digital shelves.

Trust me, I'm going to bring it home. You put me in the fourth position, I'm going to really bring it home. I'm still stuck on you saying powerful finish. That's fucking disgusting. Yeah, I think it's going to be a very powerful finish. With Carl, it's always a powerful finish. I saw this important dude's butt chug hot dog water live

and all I got was this stupid t-shirt. There we go. We got the merch. You know what, though? It's got to have a splash on it, like those Alcatraz shirts that are like ripped with blood. It's got like butt chug water on it, like splash. Wow, this is going to be fun.

Huge, huge for us. I had a shark attack shirt as a kid that would, it just said shark attack and there was blood all over it and then like a hole in the side as if a shark bit it. That's tight. Dang. I missed that shirt. You grew out of it.

I thought that shit was real. The first time I saw it, I was like, whoa, like what happened? We established you were a pretty dumb child. Yeah. I don't hydrogen that. I had a cool hat that said I hate seagulls and then there was a bunch of like fake poop all over it. That shit was hard.

I got that on. That was a good hat. That's good. That is good. Fisherman wharf. How do you not have that? Lost it in the fire. What?

What fire? My mom's fire sale when she sold all my shit. Roger. Oh, fuck. Get him. Yeah. That's the worst. Selling her old shit.

I'd like to take back kind of really, and I don't think I was verbalizing my grief when Ders was talking about the, you know, not being able to tell time. And I was given, I was throwing a lot of looks and they were judgmental looks and I will say that. But Ders, you're not one of my dumbest friends. That would be Blake and Kyle.

Fuck you. Yeah. What the fuck is that about? I could tell time and I could fucking, I know every month. Oh, you know every month and let's hear the, let's hear every month. I know every month.

I know every month. Oh, good for you. Okay. Is March a month? March is a month. Yes sir. Okay. You got that one.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. And I know the other one's November. Ape-nol? Is Ape-nol a month? Ape-small. Is that a month?

Ape-nol. Movember. Movember. Movember is very real. But I'd like to take that back, Ders, for throwing you shade. You were just a little kid having trouble with, you know, kind of basic things that kids learn. He wasn't a little kid, dude.

When you left the conversation, he admitted that this was in college. He was swimming. He still couldn't tell time. It was really sad. That is sad. And I'm glad you've overcome that. And I'm glad that you have a piece of jewelry that you wear

that you are able to now look at and work on your time. Telling skills. Knowing skills. By the way, it's like a GMT or whatever. So it tells like three different time zones. And it's just, it's a shit show. That's, I mean, you, you really. I don't even wind it.

I do love, I do love when I'm whining and I'm like, what am I doing? What am I even doing? It doesn't matter. It's just supposed to be pretty. Oh my God. It's an investment. Blake, Kyle, any take backs?

Apologies, Epic Slams. What's going on here? Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I actually want to compliment Ders for being forthright with his, with his, uh, inability to tell time when he was a child and all that. I thought that's cool. Window.

Disability. It's a disability, not an inability. I love that. Yes. It was really, um, you know, nice to hear that, man. Thanks for opening up. That was great. And now I understand why you've been buds with us

more and more each time. Yeah. You guys knew how to tell time. And I was like, oh, stick with these guys. Yeah. We made you feel, you know, we're so dumb, we're all so dumb. We're all dumb in our own special ways.

And, and I always kind of thought Ders was kind of the smart one of the crew. And it's nice to know that he's just as big of an idiot as the rest of us. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man.

Can I say thank you to you guys? You can say what? Thank you. Can I say thank you to you guys? Yeah. Thank you. You may say thank you. I got a lot of shortcomings.

And, uh, when I'm with you guys, I feel like I'm coming long. Hey, baby. 69, dudes! Hey, Ders, thank you. Yes, thank you for that. And I would like to compliment, I would like to compliment Kyle and Adam, my brothers in Raw Hot Dogs.

Yes, yes. Yeah. Yes. Your brothers in Raw Hot Dogs, I'm time-telling. I can't wait to butt chug on stage with you guys. Hey, it's time to eat some raw hot dogs. It'll be an honor to share a stage in Butt Chug. Hot dog flavored water with you.

You're going first, bud. Oh, I'll be the freaking out the gate, dude. And you're going to be wearing a sombrero while we do it. I'm down. Well, I don't know. Wait, so when you're, is it like, it's like refrigerator cold? Yes. Yes.

Yes, it's refrigerator cold. It could be sitting out. Maybe the sack of hot dog meat sat out in the sun for a little bit. Do you rinse it off first? No. No, we don't, we established, we don't rinse, bitch. You eat it with that wet, that wet juice? That wet wet?

Yeah, it's just salty deliciousness. Y'all put the wet on it? Yeah, we eat it with the full salinity. Hey, I like how it started off with Dersby and very judgmental of all of us loving cold hot dogs at our youth. And then we found out that he couldn't tell time till he was 25 years old. Yep, there is a lesson here, people.

Let me get this straight. Let me get this straight. If you told me you only had raw hot dogs available to you, I'd go, God, that's tragic, that's horrible. Oh my God. But you had other options, so I'm judging you. You know, man. I couldn't tell, it's not like I could tell time and didn't.

Wait, what other options did I have? If I told you guys, I knew how to tell time, but I refused to look at clocks. No, hold on. Please explain to me what other options did I have. Tell me what options Kyle had, dog. What options did Kyle have? What other options?

What was in my fucking fridge? Bitch, I know y'all had triscuits at the house. I know you had wheat thins. I've been to your house as a white family with some wheat thins. Yeah, we had wheat thins, that's for sure. No, chicken in the biscuits. Do y'all remember chicken in the biscuits? Oh, damn.

Chicken in the nana. Chicken in a biscuit. That was some white people cracker shit. Yeah, that was some good. What was that, like Jimmy Deans or what? No, crackers. No, it's like a Ritz cracker sprinkle with like chicken flavoring.

It was gnarly. What? It's good. Yummy. Treat yourself next time, buy a box for the family. It's a Ritz cracker that had a chicken flavoring on it? It's a little different than Ritz, but yes. Oh, so it wasn't a Ritz brand?

No. Okay, I'm sorry. Okay. Nabisco, I believe. And it was called chicken in a biscuit? Yeah, dude. Yes. It's very good.

Damn, we were a club family. Nabisco club all the way. Hey, man, you got to reach upward, you know? You got to go for it. This was down and dirty. Maybe it's Adam and I's Iowa background. It might be. It might be our Iowa background.

And this was a pretty important. Yeah, raw hot dogs. That episode of... Of what? This is important. This is important. This is important. And it was.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality.

Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up

a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road.

The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.