This Is Important - Ep 308: That Thigh Gap Is On Fleek

Episode Date: July 21, 2026

Today, this is what's important:  The 4th of July, World Cup, their high school fashions, reality tv, basements, fishing, teeth, shots, & more. Get your tickets NOW to our live show in Ontario, Canada on Sept. 25th, 2026! Or go to TIITour.com for more info. Check out Sam Jay and Alex English's new show Look Back At It now! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of IHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on This Is Important, Gak, Gag, Gah, Gah, Gah, Gah, Gah, Gah, Gah, Gah, Gah, Gok, Gah. No, no, my wheedle.

Let's go. Yes, yes. So good to be back. Oops, winning. Oh, good. Let's go. Let's go. Yeah.

Dude, so the Fourth of July just happened in our world, in our neck of the woods. In our timeline? Yeah, in our timeline. I don't know. I don't know. Say more. What are you saying? It just happened.

It just happened. Yeah. If you guys, I don't know if you saw on the national news, what? Cumbaya. My neck of the woods got in all kinds of trouble. What's going on down there? Newport Beach. What happened?

Essentially a bunch of children from elsewhere. Okay. Came here. It was like a TikTok takeover, apparently. Oh, really? Yeah, where they just, and I guess TikTok takeovers, TikTok, boom. Tick-tock-tick-overs

have happened in many other locations and kids just come and just while out. There was booty shaking. I'm gonna come. This is reminiscent of like Facebook parties from 10, 15 years ago. Remember when that happened? It was like, apparently it's called a Facebook party.

And it was just like someone would put a flyer out and 20,000 kids would show up. That's what happened with that kid in Australia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Legend. Yeah. Legend. All right.

He has to be dead, right? And then they did, it was basically Project X. Yeah. That's what this looked like. There was tens of thousands of people and then thousands of kids. Thousands and thousands. And just blasting Kid Cutty. Youngsters, just shaking their butts.

Is that the Project X trailer song? Wasn't it? Digg a bit, little bit going up. It was either that or empty. Is that not Kid Cutting? It was one or the other. It is. You were right.

Ders watches that trailer every night before he goes to sleep. I have to. I go, kids? These guys are cool. Which, by the way, that was a fun movie. I don't really remember what happened other than like a blow torch. I never saw it. I remember the car going in the pool, right?

I never saw it. I lived it. Yeah, bro. You're such a legend, dude. I'm drunk now. Dude, my party was so lame. It was just a... I mean, it was awesome, but it was just like a bunch of kids.

Yeah. And we had a bounce house and like, we just watch fireworks. Like little kids. True children, true children. Yeah, yeah. Like toddlers. My child was one of them. That's cool.

And, uh, and a bounce house. Toddle party. You know. And then we raged. Come on. What are we talking about? It was very fun. Bounce houses are sick.

You didn't get in the bounce house later? The adults didn't do a little session when the kids went. Yeah, there's a little bounce house. Angle! There's a little bounce. Engled ribs. But, uh, the takeover. They destroyed our grocery store.

Sure. There was, there was. And then I love all the, um, the, like, racially coded conversations I had the next day at the gym. Oh. Or just people, everyone. Everyone at the gym was going, well, they're not from Newport. I'll say that. I saw a dude on the news.

I saw a dude on the news say the same thing. They're not from here. Which means, if you know what I mean. I'm like, this is checking driver's licenses. Yeah. Yeah. If you understand what I'm saying. They're not from here. They might be from old port.

Not the new port. Just check their zip codes. They're not from Newport. A little too new. I'm just saying. I was like these kids did not come prepared for the beach. Every kid that I saw on the news or on any video was just wearing black jeans. None of them had some black.

Wait, wait. So these were like, this was like a TikToker army. Were they getting together to do one big dance or they were just coming together? together to... Yeah, Blake. Adam, tell them about the big dance. They came to do it. This is a Bollywood TikTok.

Isn't that what TikTokers do? They fucking danced, right? Dude, I've never seen you look so old and be so old. Yeah. You're so old. Come on, bro.

What else is TikTok for other than sick ass dances? Although he's sitting like a youngster with his leg up. That's not my leg. That ain't my leg, brother. Dude, hey, Blake, dude, it is. It is your leg. It is.

That is my thought. Whoa. Hey, bro, we've seen it and it is. That ain't my way. And I'm really not actually sure what the joke was. It is your leg. Yeah. I think the joke was that it's dick and we've seen it.

That's usually what the punchline to my joke is. That's usually. No, I think the takeover was just to come and just do not take over a town and be like, because there was literally. thousands. Like a flash mob. Stop. But there's no dancing, going. Yeah. Do not come. This dude wants to see people on the escalator going like...

Well, why... There's no dancing. There's looting. Looting! There's looting. That's all they did. They just, like, destroyed our grocery store. They came, obviously not from Newport, to Newport, to loot. They're not from here. They came to loot. Came me the loot. I don't know if that's what they came. I don't know. I wasn't part of the TikTok takeover, but... Okay.

They came. They saw... They saw they looted. Wow. And the amount of shaking their asses on cars, people were disgusted by this, but I'm like, that's kind of fun. That's kind of... That's what you let... But that's the problem is that, like, you let that happen,

and then that works all the dudes up into a frenzy, and they're like, I'm not gonna fuck... Then they gotta go fucking rip open a bag of lays. Hot, hot, hot. Baked lays. Then they got to take a watermelon and smash it. I guess that's what it was. It was a lot of water.

Watermelons got tossed because they keep those out front in like the corral. They keep them out front. Yeah. And then just like all the Pepsi cans were just strewn about and, you know, the windows were smashed. Not our Pepsi's. Newport is very funny, though. It was clean before, it was like before 10 a.m., the windows were replaced. And everything was cleaned up.

Right. I went to the gym the next day. You could not tell. Right. And this is what the whites also did in Tulsa. God, sure. We've been doing this for a long time. This is how they erase history.

If whites are good, white's at anything, it's cleaning up after a huge party. Erasing history. It's like nothing happened here. Oh my God! Nothing happened here. I like that.

Yeah, so it's crazy. It was wild. But then the funniest thing was watching like these blonde women make their like inspirational videos. about how... We have to do better. This is not our Newport. This is our Newport.

And then the videos is just like them out on their little Duffy boats and the American flags just flapping in the wind and you're like, this is our Newport and you're like, sounds hell of boring. And where do you see these? This is on truth social?

Or where is this? It's just my insight. I think it's my algorithm because I went down here so you see this shit. And... You are from Newport. No one died.

No one was even hurt. It wasn't like a big... It was just like watermelons got smashed and some windows got broke. I do think dozens of people went to the hospital. Oh, I missed that. Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. I don't think anybody died, but there were dozens of people that went to the hospital.

You can go to the hospital for a lot of reason. Those were people just fighting each other. And several went to like, what they say? It was urgent. Not urgent care, but like they rate things. When you get into the ER, it's like this one's urgent. Trauma units? Yeah.

Yes. Yes. Real trauma. Okay, so that sucks. They did arrest over 400 people, which is a lot. That's a lot. How didn't even have that many handcuffs? A lot.

The horses were out. Yeah. So you do know about this. You do know about this. I watched the thing. The news. And Adam, you didn't have any sort of, you didn't want to go join, just kind of see what was going on, join the ruckus? No, I was there.

Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, I got it in the mix. I took bow. I strapped it in my back. I said, let's get in the pig. Let's hit some dance moves with these youngsters. So let's get in the pit, dude. Cue up the kid, Cuddy little bit.

Go it up, take a hit. Two a year, some of right. Go, go, go, gaga. Have you guys seen workaholics? Oh, my God. And everyone's like, no? No. It came out a decade ago, dude.

I was six. Not at all. Not even a decade ago. It literally last aired a decade ago. This guy looks like an old bumper. That was me. Okay. That was me.

Okay, bumper. There's no possible way. Yeah, right. Bumper had two chins. Yeah, no way. No way bumper, you fat fuck. You're too old and shredded, young, old dog. Yeah.

That'd be nice if anyone said that. I did take my shirt off at my Fourth of July party. Oh, hell yeah. Now I wish I went. Blake, Blake hit the board with something. I love it. My friend's wife did say, wow, you're looking jacked. Okay.

You're unbelievable. And my God, I took that to the bank. I still am talking about it. This is why we host parties. Chloe was like, oh, Jesus, will you ever shut the fuck up about that? And I'm like, your boobs is huge. Well, if you told me that every once in a while, then I wouldn't feel so elated when my buddy's wife mentions it in passive. Do you really feel like if every time you came down to the kitchen for breakfast with your shirt off and your girl was like, damn, you look so jacked?

Wouldn't hurt. You think you would take that to the bank? Yep. And I'd cash it. Every morning. Every morning. Cha-ching. There's my jacked husband.

There's my jacked husband. Here's my question. Because here's what's interesting. I feel like I say this to my wife about her. She's in really great shape right now. And I'm like, you're looking good. And I don't think she takes it to the bank. I think she's like, can you move?

I'm loading the dishwasher. And I'm like, but you're doing it fine. My wife absolutely, she'll say like, stop. Okay, yeah. I'll be like, dang. Unbelievable. Blake, if you're not going to hit the board, I'll hit the board. Your boobs are huge.

Boops are huge, not really in this house. You're unbelievable. I'm like, you're looking good, and she's like, don't. Yeah. She'll literally say, no, I'm not. Shut up. Get out of my way. Hey.

Oh. Yeah, stop that. But then mostly he hits you with one of these. What? Did you make a fart noise? Oh, and Ders to do some weird thing with his eyes. No, like, just kind of like, no, I'm not. Like she's being coy about it.

Oh, coy. A coy look. No. She's like this. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Perfect. I mean, anyway, I feel like I don't get complimented too much.

But yeah, I feel like if I did, I would be a little... This is a shout out to all the TII females out there. If you've got a man in your life and you thinking he's looking a certain way, let him know. What Adam said. Let him know. Yeah, what Adam said. Let him know. If you look at him...

You fit... You're like, you thinking fit... No, I thought I said words there. I don't say words. Did I just... You need another four inches. I think... A revised statement, sir.

Okay, okay. So if you're looking at your man and you are thinking he is looking a certain way, he's been going to the gym, he's been watching what he eats just a little bit. You could just, you might notice, oh, his shoulders got a little broader. That back's a little stronger and let him know. That back knee's clearing up. That back knee's clearing up. That thigh gap is on fleek.

Your thigh, honey, sorry, I was just Googling hot things from five years ago. You need another four inches. If your dude has a thigh gap, does Blake have a thigh gap? Blake, do you have a thigh gap? Oh, my. I don't. You got a thigh gap? I don't know.

Let's see it. I think probably. Let's see it. How do I do this? Let's see it. I think you got to whip it out. If this is how you die. Oh, yeah.

I think so. Yeah, yeah, he's got it. I think so. You kind of do. dude, that's so embarrassing. You have to be really embarrassed by that. Why? You want my thighs to touch? You want my thighs to touch each other.

I would say, yes, all men's thighs should touch. The eyes touch. I remember when mine touched for the first time and it was a real shocker. Momentistication. It was a shocker. I remember we would tease the one guy who didn't have a thigh gap on the team at Wisconsin. We're like, dude, your legs don't separate?

And he'd be like, He was kind of like a more like stocky, muscular dude. But he was the only guy in the team whose thighs, like, touched. And we're like, what's happening there? You just have, like, one leg? That's how my legs look. My legs separate at the knees.

At your neck. That's crazy, bro. You got a... It goes straight down. It feels like your whole upper body is this, like, fupa into, like, leg fupa? Like, what's going on here? There's no fupa.

I'm a brick. Blake, what you're describing is a lot of men that we're talking to. And if you used to look like that and now you don't, ladies? Ladies? And by the way, you can't put your guy up. Slightly better. Let him know. Let him know.

Gas them up. Put a little gas on that tank. Fourth of July, baby, we need an explosion. Hey, I'm Ruby Carr, the host of the podcast, Encore. Check out our brand new episodes. Music from the show that everyone is reheating as we speak. Heated rivalry. Join me as I go behind the songs that brought Shane and Elia together. I'll tell you the stories of Fice, My Moon, My Man, Wolf forades, I'll Believe in Anything, and tattoos all the things

she said, and how they all became a part of this global phenomenon. Stream encore on IHeart Radio, crave, or wherever you get your podcasts. Can we get on the, like, looks maxing train here? Just fucking toot, toot for a second. Because look, I'd love to. We can all do better. I was trying to do better this morning. I'm in my garage.

I'm trying. I'm putting it out there. I went to the gym. I went to the gym this morning. Blake? I rode the bike. Okay. How's that thigh gap?

You get a little rash there from the thighs or no? Actually, all of my skin started to bubble up because I think I'm sunburnt and then the sweat was like under the dead skin. So when I was done, I just had all. these bubbles. That's summertime fun right there. And if you're listening ladies and your boys, pre-cancer, has some bubble cancer? Let them know.

Like, I'm still popping some of them. It's pretty cool. It's releasing. And does water come out? Yeah, it's really cool. And then you get so you hydrate. That's how cavemen used to hydrate. I'm getting torched over here. How was your guys 4th of July? It was awesome.

I had a great time. Pretty low key this year. Like a Norse. A bunch of family. Mine was really fun. I got drunker than I thought I was going to towards the end of the night. Getting radical.

It happens. You got a rep. I didn't have to. It was mostly with families and a bunch of little kids. But you can appreciate Blake's mentality. You got to wrap. Hey, it was $2.50.

You got to show up. But I did. The next day I felt like Blake, I was like a little embarrassed because at the very end of the night, I was like, I kind of, it was a brownout situation where I remember some things and I don't remember. Are you talking about the riots that's coded? Okay, they're not from here.

I don't know if I like that, but go ahead. And I didn't quite, so I was a little embarrassed. And then I thought, like, what would Blake do? And he would just own it. And he would just be like, you got to rep it. And so that's what I'm doing it. And that's what I'm doing right now. I'm reping it.

Oh, cool. Did you drink 25 beers for, two? 250 years. That's what I'm saying. We both Chloe and I were bad hosts. We were having so much fun, and it was a great party, and everybody was having a blast, that we forgot to continue to restock the beer. Oh. Oh, yeah, you got to maintain a flow.

And what does that mean, like, putting him in the fridge or, like, dumping ice or, like, ordering more? In the coolers. No, we had so much. We had so much beer. Oh, dude. Montucky cold snacks? We have Montucky cold snacks To the roof

You know I As much as I love that can It's not a super recognizable beer So a lot of people at my party They don't grab it They didn't reach for it Because they didn't know what it was You know how you do

You influence bud You drink it And then they see Blake Anderson They go oh You know what And ladies if your man Is drinking a beer A Montucky cold snack

Let them know Yeah But you got to start it You got to hand it already open. You open it and hand it to them. That's the key, I feel. And we aren't, I don't even know if we're getting paid by Montucky Gold Snacks. I don't know if they're sponsored for the podcast.

Are they? I think they are playing. They gave us a bunch of free beer. They gave us a ton. It's a tasty beer. It's a tasty beer. I like it. It's a good, it's a drinkable beer.

That's a Fourth of July beer. Mm-hmm. And the fact that we didn't resupply, that's on us. Yeah. But everyone was so drunk. We were drinking. tequila. It was shot after shot of tequila. Yeah. As our forefathers

imagined. Yes, sir. And that is how you don't re-up the the beer coolers. Here's my thing. I had a great 4th of July. Okay. But I was coming... Hey, everyone shut up. We're getting a thing. Shut up. For the 250, you would think America would have

fucking blown it out. But I was coming hot off of a Mexico win in the city of Santa Ana. And that party was so lit in the city that it made the 4th of July feel kind of weak. I think Mexico is the greatest partiers in the world. I don't think America has the title anymore. Mexico is the greatest partiers in the world.

Can't say I disagree. Well said. Yes, Mexicans party the hardest. Yeah? I mean, I guess. And what happened after the loss? What happened after the loss? That was 250.

That was such a big deal, and I just was like, it didn't feel super special to me. There was like a Honda Toyotathon type shit, and that's it. Well, you should have came down to Newport Beach and got in the pavilions parking lot, and it would have felt, you would have felt that same energy. Adam, are you saying it would have felt Mexican? What are we? I don't think. Is this coded?

Is this coded again? Okay, they weren't quite from Newport. They might have been shipping in from Santa Ana. Santa Ana was so. Shipping? In? A little driving. Or, yeah, maybe.

Maybe they took a boat around. I don't know. Santa Ana was just absolutely on, well, not literal fire. But it was crazy. Your videos were very fun, seeming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never experienced anything like that. You watched them win a soccer match.

Yeah. Yes. A big one, apparently. Yes. And Santa Ana, which is in Orange County, but it is sort of the Mexican hub of Orange County. Yeah, it's a little bit of the bike. Uh-huh. And people there had a blast. And your videos looked incredible and it seemed like a party. I should have been there.

Shout out to TK. Yeah. In the back of a stranger's pickup truck? Yeah. Back of a stranger's pickup truck. So that's the thing. So after these games, after Mexico would win, like basically they completely shut the streets down and people drive their trucks or cars down these streets that are flooded with people. And they expect you to just rock their trucks. trucks and like try to tip. I'm like, dude, I'm watching this truck get shook. So the streets are shut down, but these people are allowed to drive down them? They're crawling. They're like slowly crawling down the street. Adam is in shock because in Newport, they don't let that slide.

They get the horses out. No, and it's not, it's not at all police sanctioned. It's not legally shut down Adam. Get this. It's just shut down by the people for the people. Sure. And it's, but it, you know, nobody's getting hurt at least at that one. I know people did, I think, die in Mexico at the celebrations.

In Santa Ana, it was on. Legends, by the way. It was on. It was so fun. I mean, we've done a lot of crazy stuff in our lives. I think that was the craziest celebration I've ever been to. Really? Blake, did you make it to the anime, did you make it to the anime riot as well or no? I'm unfamiliar with that one.

What is an anime riot? What is this? I guess there was like an anime-comer. convention at the LA Convention Center that went off. It was based. And people got like trampled and it was crazy.

Holy shit. Yeah, Blake, you were there, I'm sure. No comment. Blake was in his furry costume. It's just me with like cool contacts on. Fucking pink wig. Hell yeah, dude. I wish I was at that. Wouldn't need much else.

That would be sweet. You know those anime conventions, they're so like kind of dorky, right? Like a little dorky. Their own culture, for sure. Their own thing. But imagine, like, how awesome it probably is to, like, meet a super hot Sailor Moon chick. And she's dressed to Sailor Moon.

And you're like, I guess, do I have sex with Sailor Moon? And you have sex with Sailor Moon, dude. I think we literally covered this, like, last episode. No way. You're still thinking about it. It's not last episode. Adam, you've circled back to the ninth thing you talk about. We finally got back to

Sailor Moon Anime cosplay Fucker Okay if you meet your Anime wife at anime con Do is the wedding also anime themed Stop Do you tell everybody to pull up full costume

You already know You have to right? Yeah I feel like most do But you don't have to No you could have your grandmother Respect you and just have a regular wedding But yeah

No you gotta dress Grandma up like fucking Death nose. Grandma looks like a Ghibli Studios, Grandma with like a big ass nose and like a... Come on. She got to be chainsaw man, brother. Get in here. Let's see this. I want crunchy roll in the building.

Crunchy roll. Oh, dude, that's what everyone... The past apps are just crunchy rolls. No crunchy roll rocks. Yeah, it's... As we... As we proceed. Who grew up into monoculture. Goodbye. Watch these what used to be kind of niche things

explode where like everyone can now find each other. It's kind of amazing to be like, you know, all these people are here into anime, trampling each other and going on. The one that is like pretty astounding to me is Pokemon. Well, when we, when we were growing up, it wasn't that big of a thing.

It never goes away. And only kind of the nerdier kids, Blake, were into it. Adam, you're on a lot. roll, huh? I saw the movie in the theater. I saw the movie in the theater. Yeah, that's right.

I definitely saw Mew and Mew2 hit the scene. That's right. The detective Pokemon or Detective Pikachu? No, that's later. I also saw that in the theater, of course. Go ahead. Yes, but it wasn't, it wasn't a mainstream thing, and it was very much a subculture. And then now it's like, everyone is into it.

And I guess it's because it blew up when they, were children. And so when your kids, you just like what you like, no matter if it's nerdy or not nerdy or cool or not cool. And then now they're older and they think it's cool. And then they spend hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars on Pokemon cards. It just has a lot of ways of hitting the market. Like, A, you could have got in from watching the TV show. That's kind of where it started. Then it started to be the card game, which has such a value attached to it now. Then there was the, remember when the phone game, like, what was the one where people were going into the park, like, finding Pokemon Go? Yeah.

I remember we were shooting a movie. We were shooting when we first met, and I'm shooting this movie in the park in New Orleans, and people are just in the middle of our scene, just with phones in the background, like, finding Pokemon Go. Yeah. No, sir, I don't make it. And we, we, like, had to fully move where we were shooting the scene because just too many. dorks. Dorks. Wandering

Dorks. Well, remember then people like people start to get hip to it and they'd know that like people like little dorks would be roaming the parks looking for Pokemon. By the way, running. Well, then people started to like rob and jump these dorks who were in parks at night because they would be out searching for rare Pokemon. So they would know where the rare Pokemon were. They would hide there. They would wait for them to just come in the park with their.

their phones out. Give me your shit, bro. No! No! My wheedle! I believe that happening. I believe that that happened. And what are the even stealing?

Just the phone? Just the phone. Yeah, they're Pokemon. They've taken all their rear... And no shots fired against Pokemon. I'm sure... Maybe I would have been into it... Call them all dorks.

I love Pokemon. Maybe I would have been into it if I had dork your friends like Blake when I was a kid. Fair enough. And then he could have gotten me into it, But my friends... Instead of a bunch of baseball wrestling,

beer drinking, cool guys. Yeah, I mean, Pokemon arguably has more value to the cards. Yes, hard hair. Yes. My friends just had hard hair and played baseball. So... That's cool. That's cool.

Yeah, it's a different kind of dork. It's a sport dork. Was Kyle the only one of your friends who had hard hair, plays? Yeah. Yeah. He was the hard-haired friend. He was the only one that was... That's cool.

He was trying to walk the line. He was trying to walk the line. He was trying to... He was trying to walk the line with the hard hair crew and then your basement dwelling soft hairs. Hard hair at my school was not... It was either you were like a punk rock, whatever you wanted to do kind of thing

or you had like a finger wave you were trying to keep. Okay. Other than that, hard hair was not prevalent. Not a thing? Well, you're several years older and different... You didn't go to like a suburban... High school.

So... I... Yeah, but like, yes and no. Like, it's obviously a suburb of Chicago, but it's a little less like... Preppy? No, it's more preppy. Oh.

It's more preppy than it is, like, mall culture-y? Well, what... In me, that was like the same thing. Like, preppy was like Abercrombie, which was the mall, which was like, that was all tied into. together also to me.

And there definitely was Abercrombie, but it was more crunchy granola, like, outdoorsy type shit. Like cargo shorts and TiVas? Cargo shorts and, like, Patagonia and fucking, like, North Face coats and, like, fanny packs? Fanny packs were happening? Unironically. Fanny packs were it. Yeah, that's where, like, everybody had, like, their spray paint cans and fanny packs,

and we're going tagging on the L's. We just, we were just, we were. just getting into high school at the very end of the 90s. The best. And really, it was the early 2000s where we stepped into the full high school experience. Durs was wrapping it up. He was wrapping it up at the end of the 90s. I was going, yeah.

He was saying Latro 5,000. And that is the difference between us. And you can start at the penis, but I wish it wouldn't. Wow, dude. You don't have to. I feel like at, yeah, when we, We started to go, Fannie Pax would have been illegal because you could hold weapons in there. Yes, yes.

It happened. That's our era. Right, yes. Interesting. Yeah. That's our era. We discussed that with the Maryland Manciner's. The crunchiness of my school, like the cool thing for girls was like this, you know, Eagle Creek?

They make, like, backpacks. I don't. I can't say I'm familiar. Exactly. It's not even, it's just kind of like a little. Jam's sport. It's like that, but just maybe a little more expensive, better made, or whatever. Oh.

And the go-to was like an Eagle Creek, like, fucking passport purse. Eagle Creek Passport purse. Like what a grandma would wear on a trip to Italy was what, like, the cool girls were rocking. Hell yeah. Okay, let's go. Can't even understand it. And like a Naljean bottle attached to it. I feel like, yeah, that has, like, evolved.

Like, remember when it was really... I feel like some dudes still have it where it's like the big chest, the big chest fucking fanny pack that people rock? Yeah, but that's new. The Mersus is what they used to call that. That shit had its day. Now, does fashion, do we think...

Because if I looked at what the seniors look like when I was a freshman compared to what we looked like when we were seniors, it was a different, a very different style. I would say. Senior to senior? Senior to senior.

When you were a freshman looking at the seniors and then comparing it to when you were a senior. Yeah. It was a different thing happening. Does it happen that quickly nowadays? Or is it faster because of the internet? I think it's faster. I think that's a good question.

And just like two years later, you're like, our pants had to be so tight again. And then your parents are like, oh, dude, we just bought you all these big ass pants. We can't, now we're going to spend all this money to tighten your pants. hands back up. Yeah, but hold on to the tight ones because it might

come back in a couple months. You have to keep going back and forth. Dude, I'm never going back. I'm never, I'm, I'm not at the point that you see some of these like cool kids and their shit is very baggy at this point. I can't go that far. But I like to go right on these

giant thighs that I have that do not separate. There's no gap. No gap. So you hit the knees. They are one. You have one leg. Yes. They They need room to breathe. Okay? Merman.

Yeah. Right. And so what are we saying? Your wide leg? Are you like boys to men linens? Very shagatel. Just flapping in the way? I think if Adam had his way, he would exist in linens at all time.

I would love that. You are such a linen lover. I run a little hot. I feel like if you want to let everyone know you're a local in Newport, you put on some wide-leg boys to men linens. Linnens, no undies. All my life. You do a lot of this when you walk out the door, let the wind hit it?

Wifebeater underneath? Your bottom half just looks like a sailboat. Flat. That's so hot. Hey, I'm Ruby Carr, the host of the podcast, Encore. Check out our brand new episodes featuring music from the show that everyone is reheating as we speak. Heated rivalry. Join me as I go behind the songs that brought Shane and Elia together.

I'll tell you the stories of Fice, My Moon, My Man, Wolf Parades, leaving anything and tattoos all the things she said and how they all became a part of this global phenomenon. Stream encore on IHeart Radio, crave, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up y'all? It's your girl, Sam J.

And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and IHeart women's sports. Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii. My first thought is, like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating?

The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka showing out, she beat Sabalinka. Shout out to you, Naomi. You get the palm, Naomi. You get the palm for that.

Because we're not just interested in what happened. we're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. On the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us, or rather you know them.

Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike, and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia, AEO, rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week we'll revisit a. an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters,

revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life, guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall,

the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song, a melody. I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia.

Ayo, rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My first guest is Perix Holtan, Shakira, Luke and Yerrin, Samira and Gracie. I'm so excited. On the bouncy bed. You have surprises? Many surprises. Welcome to Sweet 305 where the group chat comes to life. What a .

It's like a way to say like, oh, my God, hello, my friend, hello, hermada. Look, I never have I've ever been with nobody, except with my kids, my kids, and my say my amante. Uff, yeah, the telenovela.

Uff! You're the only person I know that loves a Yellow Starburst. It's a woman, there's no, there's someone that you Like you say, I'd like to collaborate with this person. This is Sweet 305.

Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons as part of my Cultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I did this morning at the gym run into a woman from Real Housewives of Orange County. Ooh, I'm unfamiliar with the cast,

but are they pretty legendary? She just told you. She was like, I'm in entertainment also. Yes, and she was like, I am in real housewives of Orange County. I'm like, oh, cool. And said, I'm a real husband of this gym. I move over, I'm trying to get these dumbbells.

Okay. 69, dudes. What, um, is that like the season that's happening right now? I have no clue about any housewife shit, so. I don't know either. I was just thinking of, like, people on boats wearing linens, and that, I'm like, you know that these, it's the real house. These people wear linens.

Real Newport. They're speaking codes. They wear linens. Absolutely. Yeah, she let me know that they're not from around here. She didn't actually say that. Did you see? But there were other people that did say that, multiple.

I feel like I need to tap in with the housewives because people who watch it, like, absolutely love it. And nothing can. I don't know if you need. I bet it's entertaining. It's got to have some value. See, I know it is. I know it is because anytime I watch reality TV, if, like, Chloe's going down in some kind of rabbit hole, every once in a while

I'll tap in with her It's always a good time Because you can just make fun of them And it's You don't really have to watch it that intensely Right But then But then when you start to go like really deep

I'm like what are we doing Shouldn't we watch something that is actually That they put some time and effort into Casablanca And that is just a good A good movie Dude I tried to watch Casablanca I put it on

It was tough. It's black and white. These movies are slower. Yeah, I really, I had trouble following it. Because of your TikTok brain? Yeah. Do you know why?

Housewives shows. Because I had watched Spider-N-War. You need a talking head to be like, when we fought just then, I was pissed. I had just watched Spider-N-N-War, and I listened to this interview with Nicholas Cage, and he's quite a fascinating guy. But he kept talking about, like, he was drawing from, like, who's the main guy in Casabwanka?

Humphrey Bogart. So I'm like, oh? I'm like, dude, I've never seen it. I should at least check it out. And yeah, man, that movie fucking sucks, dude. It's so boring. I don't remember it sucking, but I know what you're saying. I don't know if I actually ever saw it.

Of course, it just. They don't film the film language. has changed dramatically. Editing has changed dramatically. They fucking hold on shots. You don't get as many uptight, like close shots on things. So yeah, it's not as engaging. It doesn't do the work for you like we've made film do.

Yeah. Dude, the fact that his name is Humphrey. That is such a fucking hard name. That's a dope name. That's a name that has a big dick attached to it. Dude, if you have, if your name is Humphrey and you have a small dick, you're going by your middle name. Change your name. Change your goddamn name.

God damn. Humphrey got to have a whale between. Humphrey's hogging. Yeah. Humphrey's hogging. That might be the biggest dick name you could have. And you know, what's, I mean. I like how Blake is so awake for this now.

Oh, we're talking about dicks. Oh, Humphrey's it. If you meet a dude name Humphrey. Humphrey, he is hoggin. Yeah, you're not wrong. That's right, Blake. Yep. Blake's out of the coma.

Blake, if you ever get in an accident, I know what I'm going to get you out of the coma. Give me another. Remember how far away Hulk Hogan's penis went from his body, Blake? Terry? Terry? Terry, Malia. Balea.

Humphrey is a huge cock name. Remember how far as Dick went from his body? Blake, wake up, please. Dude. Well, Humphrey started in some. bangers. You know how they put in the

Maltese falcon? They put like the known for and then it's like the four things you're most known for it's Casablanca Let me guess

heard a bit. Treasure the Sierra Maradra Treasure the Sierra Madre That is not in the top four. Damn, that's a good one. Check that one out. Maltese falcons up there though.

Nope. Nope. It's Casablanca. Do you want to give it another swing? You want to keep guessing or? Oh,

I don't know. I don't know. I'm striking out. Yeah, Casablanca, the African queen. Sure. With that Audrey Hepburn? No, no, Audrey Hepburn. Catherine Hepburn? There's your O for six.

Yes, I think Catherine Hepburn. Right? I think that's right. Yes, that's right. All right. And wasn't Catherine's Hepburn's thing? Like, it wasn't her thing like, she would like talk like this? She got old and she sounded like this by the end of her days and everyone could do an impression of her like this.

Yeah. Yes, it's something like that. Then a movie called To Have and Have Not, and then a movie called In a Lonely Place. I feel, you know how they're just always redoing movies that don't need to be redone? Sure. Maybe we dig in the crates a little bit farther back.

Look at some Humphrey Bogart bangers. Sure. I can pluck one of them out of obscurity. Well, a star is born? That's been done like five times, I guess. Like, it's from the 30s, and they did it again in the 50s and the 70s, and the...

Tale is old as time. Tale is old as time. Well, let's dust off Kassama. I watched The Searchers. The Other day, John Wayne. And I was like, this could totally be redone as a miniseries.

Let's do it. Because it takes... It's a two-hour movie. It's a cowboy movie. But so much happens in his cowboy movie. So much happens in it and it takes place over like 10 years or something like that.

So I'm like, stretch it out. Use the new film language, guys. I love a good Western. What was the movie, Brewster's Millions? Uh, that movie had, is like, there's four incarnations of that movie. Yeah. And I didn't know that because Brewster's Millions was my favorite as a kid.

I loved it. Is that Richard Pryor? Prior and John Candy? Yes. Richard Pryor and John Candy in one movie? Yes, sir. Oh, my goats. I remember it not working for me.

Hmm. Oh, God. Like boring? Yeah. No, no, no. Oh, you got to watch Costco. What's the funny part? Boring ass.

What's the funny part? Well, the fact that a train runs through the outfield. That's funny. Oh, that's hilarious. Dude, yeah, fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Oh, yeah.

I never seen that. I'm cracking up. Well, dude. Blake, have you ever seen it? Have you ever seen Brewster's millions? I bet you'd like it more than Casablanca. You fucking cinephile nerd, bitch. No, I, you know what?

I got to give Casablanca. I only watched like 10 minutes. it probably gets good. It's, dude, it's slats. But I was having a little trouble following it. Yeah, yeah. You have to put your phone down. Yeah, no.

So there's a Brewster's millions in the 1940s, but that's not the one I was talking about. And is there a train? There's no train. We need Brewster's billions now because it's just like blank check. Now you watch it and you're like a million dollars. Come on, I couldn't buy you all that stuff. I couldn't give you all that stuff. That's the problem with the economy.

I do like that that's obviously the first note. It's like it has to be billions now. Without a doubt. And it's like cryptocurrency. It's like they, you know, they got billions of dollars through. Brewster's Bitcoins? Right. Through some kind of Bitcoin situation.

Brewster's Bitcoins and Humphrey's huge cock. Yeah. Humphre's huge cock. Brewster's shitcoins. I like that. Are Bitcoins around or are they completely gone at this point? No. I think Bitcoin is the one that's one or two that's still...

That's the one, but it did... And I'm not very good at this stuff, but I know that it just dropped like 100 G's, please. Just took a dive. Fucking thing sucks! So if you're going to buy in now, Blake, this is the time. It dropped 100 Gs? I never gave one...

It dropped like something Narnar Binks. I never gave one shit about that stuff. It always seemed so dumb. All of a sudden, Dersus's, like, power goes out at his house? Yeah, oh His internet I put everything Into it

It dropped how much It dropped how much You did go pretty heavy Into Bitcoin Right? Or into crypto No, I funded a coin I funded a coin

Oh, oh, oh And the coin took off And I was gonna be set for life And then the coin dove What are gonna do I'm pissed now As coins do And is there a possibility

That that coin resurrects Or once a coin Dives like that Is gone? Is it gone? Or does it stick around? I think when like I, when it started, it rocketed from like 20, I think 20 cents and $2 is when I like put in my cash behind it. And then it got up to like $87.

Holy shit. That's really good. Yeah. And then it didn't. Oh my God. So how come you didn't dip right then? Well, because I, contractually you can't. You got to wait until.

Vested. Yeah. That seems like a con. What are you going to do? You have to wait. I remember talking with you about it, and you were like six months away from being able to take your money out, if possible. Funny how that works. Interesting.

Somebody help me! I think it's still out there. Now it's worth like 10 cents. Damn. So you lost some money on that. That's fine. What are you going to do? So what, I mean, are you willing to talk about financials here?

What would you have made at the highest? Like 50 million. Jesus Christ. Pizza. He's still going to sense. Oh, my. I told you, dude. That would have been insane.

Maybe it was maybe 40. It was definitely, it was definitely 40. It might have been around 50, I care. Oh, my God. Because it was so bananas where I was like. That's when you were acting all different around us. Yeah, that's what he was. Yeah.

That's when I started wearing ruby slippers and. Yeah. That's when we were like, hey, we should get this project going. You're like, maybe. I don't know. I'm off the project. Yeah, I don't know, maybe. That's when Ders started bringing around his own glass straw everywhere.

Yeah. I got it. A little busy lounge. Damn, that would have been cool if you just started spending money you didn't have. I remember you talking about, and we might have talked about this on the pod, but I remember you talking about building a basement. Dude, literally, last night I'm on YouTube and I'm still, I still just want to do it. It's weird. It's weird that you're so obsessed with basements and the dude with the eyebrows who had the family is the basement guy.

It's such a Norwegian thing. Look the picture up compared to this. Very scary guy that had the basement with like 17 locked doors. But dude, this is a whole Midwest thing right now is they're building basements that have like 25 foot ceilings with like half basketball courts underneath for the winters. Now, I don't need that because I live in California. You can do anything every day. But having a whole other level to your house, what you would make in a real estate climate like California to just add a basement, it's like you doubled your fucking worth of your house.

But in California, if we have a big earthquake, one would just cave in and completely everybody just dies? I don't understand this theory based on the skyscrapers downtown. Like, what are we talking about earthquakes? Well, then you would have to get it to earthquake-proofed of some kind. Okay. And that would... That has to be crazy expensive.

How do you earthquake-proof underground stuff? I know how they do buildings. So let's say I spend $500,000 making a basement. Okay. It would be more than that. Let's say I spend a million. Okay. Then I've just added a...

But I've added a whole other X amount of square feet to the house. I get it. But it's a death trap. I get it. You're going to die in it. Yeah, but dude. Not if it's earthquake proof. How do you earthquake proof a basement?

I don't know. It's worth it. There's going to be shuffleboard. There's going to be ping pong. I will die for that. It's worth dying for it. I'm just saying. And I'm playing shuffleboard.

I'm dying. I'm with you, Ders. If anything you make it a, like a bomb shelter. Yeah, the whole thing is a bunker. Yeah, the whole thing's a bunker. Right. There's got to be a reason. There's got to be a reason.

18 doors. I was talking about that. because I was like, I might in 10 years or whatever, knock down my houses here and build like a nice, proper, nice big house. Oh, my God! Instead of like to be... Not that shit hole you live in? Not these two shit boxes I live in.

And I was like, dude, what about a basement? It's like, we can do a basement. We can actually... You can build you a pretty sick basement now. And I'm like, oh, cool. And they're like, it will cost at least a million dollars. And I'm like, go. Yver.

So I don't know how much I love a base. Yeah, I don't know. I don't see the allure of an underground room. That kind of already gives me the hebi-jibis. Didn't you grow up with a basement? No. No, he's a California kid. I grew up with basement dudes, but they were upstairs.

Dude, wait a second. You thought the basement dudes were actually in a basement? Wait a second. Well, you called them basement dudes. Because they're... So wait, none of your friends have... basements? No. I thought wait, hang on Blake. I thought it was like

a, because I had a friend that sort of lived on a hill, right? Basement is a metaphor. And so he, it was a split level where you walk in and there's a basement, but then there's a back door to the basement so it's not a real basement. That's what I thought. No, this was upstairs in a two-story

house. That was our basement. It was just like a... Where do you go? When you guys were doing your drunk butt-fucking during prom. Where are you doing this? You have the one homie whose mom doesn't care. You do it wherever the hell you want. So is she like

upstairs in her bed watching TV and you guys are in the living room getting it on? Because the cops ain't come until six months. Exactly. But okay. But basements are unreal, dude. Midwest, I'm standing up for Midwest right now. Bacements are a whole other level.

Literally. They got to stink like shit. I don't like anything. Why do they stink like shit? Underground. stuff always has a must to it. I don't disagree, but you got to embrace that. You're amongst the worms. You're amongst, like, that's gross. I want to be above where there's fresh air.

So, wait, you're going to go on record saying you don't like worms. I don't like to, no, I don't like worms. I'm not a big worm. Wow. Okay, I guess he's never going to go fishing with us, Adam. Okay, I guess we're not going to be fishing. We're always fishing. Actually, I would really love to go fishing.

I think we should go fish. Let's go. Compare yourself. I mean, we talked about this off pod, but I'm saying the three of us take a company. See, we have a company together. And I think sometimes we forget that. And how often do we take a company retreat?

Company retreats. Yeah. We don't take enough company retreats. We should have a once a year, we should get t-shirts made. And while we're gone, each of our homes, basements are being built. When we get back, the basements done. That's fine.

That'd be great. And for that reason, I'm out. Oh. And for that reason, I'm in. But no, we have to go. We have to go to Catalina. That's what I'm saying. I would love to.

I would love, I think the fishing is really good at this time. It's great. It's prime time to fish. Great. We can go Marlon fishing. Blake, I need more information. It's an El Nino season. I think there's warm.

Fish out. Yeah, I think the tuna. The tuna are out. Bluefin. Swimming. Blue. Blue. Yellow tail.

Let's go You've heard the chaos Now you can see it Hello My gosh Watch all your favorite podcasts From start to finish Right inside the free IHR Radio

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app, search video podcasts, and tap watch. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and I heart women's sports. Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo roer to go from California to Hawaii. My first thought is, like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating?

The highlights, the rivalries. the breakout stars, the moments to take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka showing out, she beat. Sabalinka. Shout out to you, Naomi. You get the palm, Naomi.

You get the palm for that. Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. On the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your. podcast. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us, or rather

you know them, Tony and Candace, Nina and Lance, Spike, and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia A.O. Rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea?

We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song, a melody. Well, I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write a song.

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, Ayo rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My first guest is Paris Houghton, Shakira, Luke and Yerrin, Samira, and Gracie. I'm so excited. On the bouncy bed. You have surprises. Many surprises. Welcome to Sweet 305, where the group chat comes to life.

What a fuck. It's like a way of saying, like, hello, amiga, hello, my God, hello, her man. Look, never I've ever I've evered Except with my kids, my children, my kids are so I'm sorry. Uff!

Uff! That's incredible! Yeah, the telenovela! You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst. It's rumored! No, there's someone like you'd like to collaborate with this person.

This is Sweet 305. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons as part of my Culturea Podcast Network on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. Did you learn tuna were huge at a young age,

or did you learn this in the last, like, three years? Yeah, like from the reality shows. They're like the size of a car. Well, not all of them. It's insane, how big they get. Some of them are huge. It's crazy. Some of them get huge.

But when did you know that? When did you learn that they got huge? Maybe 10 years ago. Okay, 10 years, Adam, you go? You go, Adam? He said 10, you go? I would say maybe... You go.

Maybe 10 years? I don't really know. Okay, so maybe you guys are together. Okay, okay. I don't know when I found out tuna was huge. I didn't know a lot about ocean fishing until probably I spent a lot of time in Charleston and I would go fishing a lot down there.

You want to know what blew my mind. Okay, and Blake, you visited him, so maybe that was the same time? I did. Do you want to know what blew my mind? You know the angler fish, those super-sufficient. scary big teeth with the little lantern on their head. Of course. I've known about them for 20 years. Those motherfuckers are like, those motherfuckers are like as big as just, they fit in the palm

of your hand. They're super small. That I didn't know. They are not big at all. They're extremely small. Okay, so tuna sizes varies dramatically by species. Oh, wait. I go one more mindblower.

Hit us with it. What? It's not about fish, but we can circle back to fish. Uh-huh. This just hit me during World Cup. Ecuador Uh-huh Is named Ecuador

Because it's on the equator The equator Yeah Duh, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah Are you serious? Come on, dude, you knew that You knew that

Yeah Cumbumbia Back to fish, back to tuna How big is that tuna, Adam? You want to know why it's called Cumlumbia? Okay Go for it

Is that your knee? Is that your knee back up? Yeah Let's just say President Humphrey is a good guy. Okay. Is a good guy.

Okay, so tuna size varies dramatically by species, ranging from tiny bullet tuna to just four pounds, just four pounds to massive Atlantic bluefin. Mm. Yeah. On average, these powerful torpedo-shaped fish weigh anywhere from 40 to over 500 pounds and measure three to 10 feet in length.

Dude. Crazy. Wait, bullet tuna? Let's open up a sushi place. A bullet tuna. And call it bullet tuna. Boa tuna? That's great.

I would love that. I would love to go marlin fishing. And that is a thing we can do down here. Really? I thought that was Mexico only. I don't know. I feel like that's what the football players always do. And then I'm drowning and fucking on the back of a capsized boat.

But yeah, let's do it. I mean, come on. It's a company retreat. It's a company retreat. What football player are you talking about? Who died from? I feel like it happened. I feel like around 10 years ago when I found out about how big tuna was.

I saw real sports where it was like they went out They got the anchor stuck They tried to gun it The boat flipped Somebody fucking drifted away But they were doing cocaine too Right

You lose They weren't really marlin fishing Yeah the thing is The thing is We're not gonna take my boat And go marlin fishing They weren't really marlin fishing They were doing blow

And fucking hookers Yeah That was not That was code word We're actually gonna Fishing fit We're going to We're going to

take, we're going to hire a guy on his boat to take us out using his equipment because none of us know how to do this shit. I can figure that. I got an idea. Yeah. El Niño. I want to get strapped in one of those chairs. Yeah.

Yes. Jaws. And one of those fishing chairs that you're just, you just have to muscle it up. But, dude, Adam, that sometimes that shit takes like two hours to reel the fish in. I know. That's crazy. Yeah, he's got a stamina. That's absolutely insane.

That, to me, that seems not very funny. Blake, you're talking to a guy who's legs. separate at the knees. I think he'll be okay. I think I'll be fun. I do not want to reel in a damn fish for two hours. I know, Blake, and that's the difference between us. You can't fucking disaster, my guy.

Start it the penis. You can start it the penis. You can always start there. And Blake would love nothing more. Why, why, how boring is? Why would you want to reel something in for two hours? You got to let it go out? Blake, you can drink, you can watch

me and drink beer. So it will That's such a boring watch. I'm watching you real efficient for two hours. Dude, until it jumps and this fucking monster, like, look at that form, by the way. Speaking of monster, dude. Good, you're working on that, good.

And he comes out of the water and slash, clash, slash, clash, clash, clasp. Okay. On top of the water, dude, with that fucking snout. It's like, scotch, scott, scott, scott, scott, and then it breaks off the line on hour and a half. And then what happened?

Not the piano wire we're fucking with, dude. We're just, we're doing jaws. Are you not, do you not like fishing? I love fishing. I think fishing's awesome. Well, apparently not, you bitch. I think the idea of a two-hour fight for a fish. But then if you catch it, it's $20,000.

It's, yes. Well, one, it might be $20,000. I'm saying a Pokemon card. It's 10 feet long. It's not that big. It has a fucking sword attached to its schnaz. It's sick. Look, I love the, I love the animal.

I love the species. I just think watching my, my buddy, crank down for two hours, is a little much. Well, maybe if you're busy catching your own fish, bitch. You don't, yeah. No, maybe you're on. You're probably making waves. You don't want to be the center of attention.

I'm over here reeling in. I do love the idea of it. Adam's reeling it in and Blake's just like, well, I would be fucking catching something, but he's splashing and fucking pouting. It's too noisy over there. I hope you get it. You're scaring the fish. I hope you get it, but you're ruining everyone else's experience.

You're scaring the fish. makes me lose so much respect to you. Am I off the boat? You might be off the boat, dude. No, man, look. Because to me, that is so fun with your, I would be so happy to sit there for two hours and watch you catch a Marlin. I would be cheering the whole way.

I'd be, I would drink six to eight beers while you did it. And I'd be pretty drunk by the end. I would be pouring beer into your mouth to give you strength. Yeah, see. Okay, see. That was where I was really getting at. It's like, if I'm cranking for two hours, How am I drinking?

I would feed, I would be feeding you sandwiches. I'd be feeding you sandwiches to give you the strength. Okay, okay, you're selling me on it. And Blake, I know you might get bored, but I'd be right there going, Blake, reel this sucker and wait to see the dick on this thing. I was intoxicated. And you'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got to see the dick on this thing. I got it.

Okay. Dude, the way this thing's fighting, my God, it's going to have a trunk. This boy's named Humphrey. This thing's going to have a trunk. God damn. Humphrey bofish. This is a Humphrey boff. Damn.

Let's see this. Okay. Wait a minute. We might have had some. Yes, points. Come on, man. It's fine, dude. We had to have some points this episode.

Couldn't have a shutout. Stay in a fucking cup game. God damn. So, yeah, I'm very, we got to do something. I'm telling you, it's been too nice. It's been too beautiful. I would love to get on the water. Yeah, we got to get on the water.

out here. I'm bummed because I could have, but I just didn't get to drink on the 4th of July. What? Oh. I'm on antibiotics, and I actually want them to work because I went to the dentist like a couple weeks ago, and they did

an x-ray. Oh, yeah, tell this one. Finally, because you brush your teeth once a week. And they did an x-ray, and they were like, um, were you hit in the face recently? And I was like, no. Were you not hit in the face with a tube brush for 10 years? You need to hit your teeth up.

Yes, points. And they go, you have a huge, like, infection as if there's, like, a broken tooth, like, behind your nose. And I'm like, well, I've for sure been head-budded by my kids, like, at least four or five times in the last 12 months. And they were like, okay, you have a broken tooth,

like, in your roots then. Oh, my God. So then I had to go and get the teeth. this fucking dental surgery where they just, they go above your teeth. They slice it open. They get to the roots. They had to like file the root away because it was like a fracture. It wasn't like a loose piece. They had to like drill that away and then like stitch it up. And then now I'm on antibiotics to get rid of the infection. And I'm like, I just want this to go away. It's science. But it wasn't hurting. It was just like a weird. And I could feel it in the roof of my mouth, but it was never like a pain.

It was just like a, oh, that's like a weird sensation. That's really weird that you didn't clock that that was going on. Dude, I remember Emma was there too. Like, I got hit by my kid in the face so hard on the couch that I just covered my face so that I didn't cry in front of them. Yeah. No, no, no, no. You know when you get like hit and you turn it on and you're like, this is, we're going. This is it.

Yeah. Now it's on. I got hit in the face so hard that I was like, by it. By what age? Eight-year-old. By an eight-year-old, then you almost went into fight mode. Yeah, that's a true, that's a true-sized head, too.

I almost took side control on my eight-year-old and put him in a Camorah. Great counterpoint. That happens with my two-and-a-half-year-old, and the power just isn't there quite yet. Yeah, yeah. Right. This was a head-but, I think. I think it was a head-but. But I told Chloe this story, I told the story about you to her because she just got hit.

by bow and cracked her tooth. Oh, no. Like, chipped, chipped it. Oh, that's fucked. It's dangerous. Oh, remember when Chloe chipped both of her front teeth with you?

Yeah. When we were going into Knott'sberry Farm? Nottsbury Farm. Yeah. On what? Like opening beer cans or beer bottles? No.

It was a pole. It was a metal pole that, like, for the gates, their clothes. Oh, yes. And it was like, Blake, his ex, me and Clo. And it was the first time that they were hanging out. Meeting her. So, yeah.

And so she was like a little nervous to like meet Blake and his girl. And she was back talking with. Blake, you're picking your arms on international streaming. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. It's okay. I'm just letting you know.

Sorry. She was in the back with Blake's ex. And me and Blake were up front. And we passed this metal pole. And I just touched it. Instead of saying, hey, here's a metal pole. I just like give it a trap trap. Yep.

It's a bagel. Instead of saying, words. Chloe, heads up. But I just was, I was just kind of like, here's the pole, and I hit it twice. Yep. And she walked, she laughed. You know how Chloe has this, like, large laugh?

This, like, almost cackle. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! She, like, is a big laffers. So she laughs and clacks her head back and hits directly the two front teeth is right before we're walking through the front gate. And she goes, teeth, poof.

Poof. Pau Surprise. They're gone. Just like, like. Who fow surprise? What's with your teeth? What's with your teeth? Yeah.

They're like fully sideways chipped off. And we're like, well, we just got all the way to not scary farm, which is a bit of a drive. And we were like, traffic was a B-a-Roch. We saw that one guy fingering that other guy's asshole on the drive-in. Yes, legendary. So it was a legendary night already. Not so scary. To Blake, that was not scary.

To us, it was. Blake walked by and shouted yes points. Yes. Not scary. Yes, points. Well, here's what I'll say, and this is why Chloe's a G. She still went to the park and we still had a blast. Yeah, she goes, let's go in and ride rides.

Just every picture, her smile is it. She had like a sick whistle. No, every photo, because Chloe gets recognized by little girls that watched her on the Disney channel. And so they're like, can we take a photo? And she's like, sure. So then she kept smiling, but she like was doing this thing that sort of made the photos look sexy, which I found hilarious. She was going like, oh yeah, yeah, sure.

Like putting her tongue up on top of her teeth to block the view. But then it just looks kind of sexual. I wish that caught on with like very young girls after that. We're like eight-year-old girls We're like The new look We traced it back to Chloe Oh, I love that

And then Oh yeah Protect your teeth out there If you're listening Protect your teeth But those two men Going into We were driving into the park

You have talked about this I know it I have That's okay This is his 10th thing He's circling back Let him have it Well it's just

It's just against people were like wait, they saw a guy finger another guy's asshole? How did this go about? I know. Netflix? This has not been said on Netflix. We were driving into the parking structure. I mean, I know Blake sees it every weekend, but I had something new.

I know. So something new for me to see, I've never seen this. Way more mind-blowing stuff than that. I've seen way scary stuff. Mind-blown. I was, at that time, I drove a Jeep Grand Cherokee, so we're sitting up a little higher. We look over at the car next to us. And it was the...

The passenger side driver was just perched up, or the passenger, and the guy in the passenger's, was just perched up ass in the air. Like at the window, like, ass like facing the window. Like pressed against the window. And then the driver was just like, gawk, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got. Over back? No, forward.

So he's like, the passenger is pressed against the window, the windshield. Hold up. Yeah. Oh, his face is on the window and his ass is to the driver. His face is like up and asses to the driver. And the driver was like, it was aggressive. And then... Can you draw that? We were in like the VIP line to like get our tickets.

And they were also in the VIP line. And then I'm just like, man, all I could think about is like this guy's asshole and like how sore probably is. I wish you guys met and he put out the hand like Blue Streak style. Yeah. It's like, hey, nice to meet you. How are you? Yeah, glad to meet you. I'm a hugger.

Hey, I'm the head of Paramount. How are you? God, that'd be great. How are you? Put her there. You shake my hand and you've got yourself a two-picture deal. I'd shake it. Oh, I'd shake it.

What's up with your girlfriend's teeth? Let's take a picture to commemorate it. Okay, if you could just not look like sexual, please. So yeah, that was a pretty eventful night And so I just brought up your tooth thing to Klob because she also has some cracked teeth right now Dude, you got to watch out for these domes. They throw them around. My middle kid, he's one of those just like, he just is loose and he throws himself around like a rag doll. I don't know what it is.

But we got to keep him away from drugs for sure. I do kind of have to revoke your man card because on America's 250th. birthday, even though you're on antibiotics, you still gotta drink some beers. I know. I will say I was drinking NAs. I was drinking NAs. Okay. Okay.

All right. And I'm Mr. I'm Mr. not really too keen on NAs, but I just was like, I just want these fucking antibiotics to work. And guess what? It's the last day to day. Tomorrow, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay home and drink all day.

Daddy's. Yeah. I'm going to go raid a pavilion. A couple months. impressive because I know that you love the Fourth of July, so that you must really want to get better. Just watch a bunch of soccer. Yeah, like Fourth of July is whatever, but when Mexico wins, God damn. Now that's a party.

That's a party. No, no, no. Fourth of July is an all-time. Isaac left the party at like 4 p.m. Sure. What the hell? Revoke his man card. He told me that we had taken five shots by 4 p.m., which seems real.

Well, really? which seems real. God damn. Yeah. Punk, getting radical. 25 for 250. You were taking shots at the kids party? At the kids party.

That's sick, dude. Hey, I salute you, brother. Well, they're, you know, they're like those little mini shots, and then you don't film all the way, so they don't count. They're just little ditties. It don't count.

Do you guys remember, I mean, obviously, when you're on, like, a college campus and you're doing shots, they're as small as possible because the school colleges want to make it much money. Yep. But I just remember moving, even in Chicago, shots were like shot classes.

Then moving to L.A., shots were served in like a cocktail glass, like what you would drink old-fashioned out of. We do a grande. And they're massive. Oh, yeah. We do a grande, baby. Yeah, that was too much. This is the way?

It's crazy. Well, it's because they want to charge you like $28 a shot. Yeah, but I feel like you're getting your money's worth. I just remember and be like, yo, I moved to L.A. I was a full-blown alcoholic from Wisconsin, but this was the one thing that threw me off was that, like, shots were not shots. Shots were the size of brats.

I was just speaking in Wisconsin language. Are there any tapebacks, any apologies, any epic slams here? Oh, anything about worms you want to take back, Blake? No, I actually have a take back. After he, like, sat me through the scenario, and you told me how much you would support me while I was reeling in my swordfish or my mark. Yes.

I would like to take back me saying I would not enjoy watching you catch a swordfish because that would be pretty cool. A two-hour battle, as it's going to have ebbs and flows. It's going to be like watching it. I'm in. I'm in. There were so many other things you could have taken back.

No, that's what I'm taking back. No, no, no, no. I'm taking that back. It took the wind out of my sales a little bit. Yeah, that was stupid. That was a stupid stance. I would love to watch you catch a marlin. I would tell that story as if I caught a marlin.

And in fact, I might replace your name with my... I was going to say, over time, it might end up being history. It might end up being my marlin. Yeah. If you actually get the marlin on the boat, that's fucking cool. I would tell, even if you don't, dude, me and our good friend Walsh and my buddy, Jason Hillman, we went fishing and we... It must have been like a giant shark. And we had hooked onto it, and we fought it for like 45 minutes, the three of us.

and we're passing the rod back and forth. Blake, you've done that. Remember, prom? It pulled us over two miles, and the driver's like, this is fucking crazy, this thing's huge. It has to be at least three,

four hundred pounds. And we're like, oh my God. And then it snapped. Yeah. Like, right as we could sort of see like the outline of something huge.

And it's still, to this day, I remember. To this death. I remember it. And it's one of those. What's weird is, I was on board.

I was on board. And now after you just described it, now I'm like, I'm good. 45 minutes and snaps? You're passing it back and forward. Dude, that's part of the game, dude. It's fucking fun, dude. Oh, now Blake's fully on board. Okay.

Oh, I'm in. I'm in. I'm in, dude. Are there snacks? There's fucking cool. There's snacks. Oh, there's snacks. There's cold snacks.

There's cold snacks. Yeah. Tops of Monsucket cookies. Yeah. Absolutely. There's big sips. America flavor. I want to, I'm going to go Marlin fishing if we

can use a seahorse as the bait? I don't know. Can you do that? I've never seen that. I don't know. I know squid. Yeah, I don't know if they like... Squid.

Probably a mackerel. Yeah, I'm sure there's some kind of... Banchovi. Cheeseburger. Sardine. Any other Tatex? Apologies? Any Epic Slams there, Ders?

I apologize. I took back. I apologize. I don't know, man. Takes a big man to... I'm sorry. Hey, I just... I do want to apologize to our forefathers for not getting absolute

Blotto on the 4th of July. Sorry about that. That was going to be my recommendation for you. Yeah. Well, hey, you, well, actually, this is a couple weeks off, but you may be able to make up for it. If Norway goes all the way, you could party for you. Roll!

You have chances. They're in it. They're in it to win it. It's too bad. It's a damn shame about the U.S. They kind of just ate shit in a weird way. I don't know what happened. Terrible.

I was with my kid in the pool at this thing called Aquatots, which is, you know, children's swim class. And it's just there was TVs in the like lobby sort of area outside, but you could see them through the glass. So it's just a group of dads just dunking their children underneath the water, staring through the... Come on, get in. They just come on.

No more, Daddy. No more, Dad, Dad. No more. And if you're the writer from S&L who stole our ideas, that's a good sketch. That's a good one. Have a bunch of dads watching World Cup while they're at, and just have dolls. And, like, drowning the kids. It'll be a big, funny thing. Yeah.

That's worth taking. You do that. Oh, I'm so sorry. And then, like, you circle back. Oh, that won't happen again. Anyway, what were you saying about? He's in kindergarten and then The Galdren.

As most weeks, I forgot what I said the entire episode. So I can't, I don't have anything to take back or apologize for. But I will say that we do need to get together and take a company retreat

and get all sunburned together in some form of fashion. I'm around for the next three weeks. Okay. Three weeks. We got three weeks. Hey, that El Niño water is out there. Let's get on the water.

Let's talk about it. I'm going on a road trip. Let's throw some bait in the water. What was this, guys? What was this? What was this? This was another episode of... This is...

That shit's important. Cumbaya. Hey, hit us with that Kid Cuddy song. Yes, yes. Oh, man. Well, you're going to have to wait. Real quick, real quick. You're going to have to wait for that.

Real quick. What's it called? What's it called? Just Kid Cuddy. Little bit. Little bit. Tudda. Hey, just write Kid Cuddy from.

That one movie, Project X. Project X is the name of the movie. Hit us with it. Hit us with it. Oh, it's Pursuit of Happiness, of course. We're playing it out. Play it out. Play it out.

Oh, shit. This is another episode. Yes, that's important. This is at the bottom. TikTok dance. Woo! All right. We can't have the audio.

That was hot, dude. Hey, Portlandia fans. Barry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life.

Guest stars, collaborators and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. A.A.O. Rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

My first guest is Teres Hilton, Shakira, Luke, and Yerrin. You have surprises. Many surprises. Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group check comes to life. What? You're the only. person I know that loves a yellow starburst. It's lemonade.

This is Sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Raiders of the Lost podcast, we explore cinema like no one else, including huge interviews with stars like Ryan Gosling on Project Hail Mary. It was like the Jaws Shark. Didn't always work.

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