This Is Important - Ep 314: Uncle Sam Wants YOU To Have A Cock Ring

Episode Date: September 1, 2026

Today, this is what's important: Pools, flipping the bird, music videos, the army, cock rings, movies, & more.  Get your tickets NOW to our live show in Ontario, Canada on Sept. 25th, 2026! Or go to TIITour.com for more info. Check out Sam Jay and Alex English's new show Look Back At It now! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers, now at McDonald's, made with freeze-dried fruit, and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers, now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine, details of McDonald's.cai at participating Canadian restaurants, excluding Quebec. Hey, this is Hayes, Davenport, and Sean Clements.

We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicists for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman,

Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stillard, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality

of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, Welcome home.

Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island to serve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Mangishatekegular, and I'm back with a new season of my podcast, Skyline. Drive. This time I talked to scientists, biopunks, kermudgins, blues owners, super seniors, and Goa's top cryotherapy lab to try to understand this obsession with living forever and what it

means for all of us. And I get into a bit of trouble along the way. I'd say probably start bone smashing. That doesn't work. To make it look more defined. They say it works. I don't know. Listen to Skyline Drive, How to Live Forever on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to This is Important. A production of IHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important bottom line critical thing happening on this planet. Today on this is important? Literally, my computer comes up and it's a skull and crossbones and it goes, ha, ha, ha, ha, hop. Can we see LeBron's foot with a cock ring? I just say my days is stealing bacon. Maybe over. Buckle up.

Yeah, yeah, man, yeah. We're back, man. Yeah. Dude. Yes, Satan? Yes, sir. Wait, go through a bunch. Go through a bunch.

Okay, you got it. Let's get inspired comedically. I got nothing. So funny, so funny. Zip it. Oh, my God. Comedy God, yes. Comedy God. Comedy judge.

Comedy judge. What the fuck did I do wrong? And what is that from? What the fuck we're doing? What the push I do? Some of these I feel like I have. I've never heard before. You might have uploaded and never played.

They're deep cuts. Whoops. Wicaywa. Right before we got on the podcast, Blake decided to flip off the camera right as sound engineer. I think that's what he is. Mark's son came into frame and looked like Blake was flipping off his son. And I was like, that was rude, dude.

But you weren't, you weren't doing that. No. And it made me think, like, because his son, I don't know, how old do you think that son was? A 10-year-old son? I'm a terrible, I don't know. What age were you starting to release the birds? You know, it's, Adam, it's like off the pot. He's throwing the birds.

And then it's like, three, two, one, we're on. And he goes, I don't know how old people are. Yeah, okay. I'm not sure. Dude, just take a, just fucking shot in the dark, man. I would say eight, ten? I didn't get a good look at the boy. I didn't get a good look at the guy.

So now he's a boy. Good enough look to flip him birds, dude, to release birds? I wasn't flipping him off. I was showing you guys the differences in my fingers because one is a little bit. Man, one is a little wonky. One's thick. That's the bowling pin. I'd like to start with one and finish with the other.

What happened here? I tried to, my buddy has a diving board. Not real. Already fake. And we were trying to do dives. He said his pool was 10 feet deep. It wasn't that deep. I went straight to the bottom, I jammed my freaking...

You didn't text me first about this? I should have. I should have. You were out of your depths? So wait, you dove? You were trying to figure out how deep the pool was by diving headfirst into the pool? No. I said before I jumped off the diving board, which this is why they're illegal now.

I said, hey, how deep is your pool? He said, it's 10. Let's have like a diving competition. I'm like, okay, I got this. Went straight up. Aren't you in your 40s? Yeah, man, I can't do this anymore. Dude, I love it.

I can't do this anymore. I love it. I need to have more diving competitions with a friend. Was it just you two in a backyard? What does it set the stage here? I need so much more. We got an hour. We got an hour.

Take your time. I was, it was when I was back in Concord, this past couple, because this is like three weeks. This is like three, yes, this is like three weeks old now. So this is what I'm imagining.

You, you're down at your local, your local bar. You're bellied up. Who story is this? You're bellied up. And this guy looks. over at you and goes, I got a pool.

And you go, no shit, you have a pool? And he's like, I can't want to do a diving contest. You pick me as a real degenerate. Then you guys go over to his pool. And maybe you think something else is going on. I don't know. I don't know. You just went up for a diving contest.

I don't know what you're thinking. But then you get over there and it's an actual diving contest. This is what I'm imagining happened. But it wasn't this. It was just an old friend. Just a random cowboy's like, let's go have a diving contest. And I'm like, I didn't say,

let's go. Let's go. No, I was hanging with my old, not even high school, my elementary school friends, the friends I've had for decades. I know them boys. For decades.

I know them boys. What's up, boys? Did you say not even elementary school? No, elementary, starting in elementary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's hard to make friends pre-elementary. Second grade.

Hey, we've all got them. Shout out Brian Harper. Where are you at? There he is. He's for a long time. My friend Adam, the, you've met. He has a pool.

We know Adam. It's a massive. It's a massive. massive pool. It's one of the bigger pools and it also has a diving board. This is how you know it's like a pool that was built in like the 80s or 70s or 60s.

Right, because it's grandfathered in. Yeah. And by the way, hey, this is only in California. It's not a nationwide ban on really? It's California, we're fucking bitches, dude. No, no, dude. Love it or leave it. Love it or leave it. There should be

more zip-it pools with diving boards. No, man. Yes, they're dangerous. They are. They're terrible. They're terribly fun and awesome. No, you just got to know. You just got to know what you're doing.

They're dangerous. I know what I'm doing. I'm a good diver. I am too good. That's why my hand got hurt. It's because I hit the water at such a direction. So yeah, tell the story. Tell the story.

You're doing just like what? Like a pike? Fucking, what are you doing off this thing? I don't know the terminology of swimming. What is a pike? It's diving. It's diving. It's a diving.

Where you go like this and then you unfold. You like touch your toes and then go straight out. That's what I was trying to do. You know how you like to touch your toes? I can touch my toes. It's like that on a diving bore, I bet you. But I can't do it midair. So wait, so basically the one dive that everyone that can dive does.

You can't touch your toes in midair and go back down. Yes, I can. Borset. It's well documented that Adam is the king of touching his toes. Absolutely not. That is so hard. Palms to the floor. I can touch my toes.

toes so easily. You're saying you can jump up, touch your toes, and then reverse your body down. Yes. Yes. Blake, you're just describing most kids' afternoon when they're like, okay, we've all doved that one way everyone can do it. Now that's the way, that everyone, that's the dive. Hey, if I had, if I didn't live in fucking California and I had a diving board with easy access, I don't have any diving boards. There's no diving boards near me. Yes, Satan. They're fucking outlawed, dude. I know, as they should be.

It sucks. By the way, when you hear a diving board in a backyard, you hear that like, bo-da-da-da-d-d-d-loosh, you're like, whoa. That's summer. Grandfather, Dan, they still got it. Look, I used to be able to tear up a-grandfather. That grandfather was fucking cool as shit. He was.

Yeah, he was a cool-ass grandfather. He could touch his toes. I used to be able to tear up a diving board, but now I have a little more weight on me, so I go a little deeper when I hit the water. I go a little deeper. Dude, one of my favorite, this is not something anyone will understand, but it's one of my favorite things ever is when you're on, like a real diving board at a pool, right?

Thank you. And it's got that little dial on the side and you use your foot to kind of crank it for a little more floppy or a little less floppy. Yeah, that makes it tight or a tight spring or a real flop dog. There's nothing more like than watching somebody do it and be like, this one's about to be crazy. Crank it, crank it, crank it, crank it. I don't know what that is.

I've never seen that before. It looks like a giant bottle cap on the side of the diving board. See, Blake, this is where you say, what a great diver you are. I'm not. You don't know what a pike kid. You literally said that just a few minutes ago. You said, I'm a great diver, dude. I'm a great diver.

You said that two or three times. But Blake might, we all know Blake is one of those natural athletes. Anywhere, anytime he's ready. He might not know the vernacular or even what he's doing, but he'll do it. Obviously. I love hyping up Blake. It's one of my favorite things.

Thank you. Thank you. A little more of that, please. It's his second favorite thing after knocking him down 30 pegs. Yeah. But Anders, we know this to not be true. I would say none of us, the three of us, none of us are natural athletes. What?

Wow, what constitutes a natural athlete? There's a lot of things I'll say about all three of us. Growing up, growing up, growing up, you know. you had that kid in the neighborhood that was great at football, that was great at basketball, that was great at baseball, who got on a skateboard and it clicked who could swim all the way

fucking over there and back and it's not a thing and you might be able to do one of them, I was good at baseball. I was not good at the other sports. I was really good at. You want to know what I was really good at? And Adam, we know who you're talking about. We can all say it at the same time. You're talking about Mike McCool. Mike McCoy.

My boy, my boy, my boy, yeah, my boy was not going to say it. I was, I was unstoppable. You were always like, there's a guy who just, he could do it all, right? He was a three dude. He could dunk a basketball in like seventh or eighth grade. It was wild feet. Well, he matured, I think he matured early. He got all the, like, height and stuff.

He had hairy cabs young. But by the way, was then good at everything. Yeah. Was good at everything. When I matured, I wasn't suddenly good at all the sports. Well, I don't care. Adam couldn't dunk until junior year of baseball. Wow, dude.

I bet that I could beat Mike McCoy at Steal the Bacon. Nobody could beat me at Steal the Bacon. That was where my skills... Any takeback? I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. It couldn't beat me at Steal the bacon. We're talking about natural athletes. Steal the bacon.

I also hate to tell you... Steal the bacon's like, hey, can these kids play baseball or not? I feel like he's probably pretty good to steal the bacon. Steal the bacon is an elite game, and you have to have fast-twist muscles. He's watching the Ocho. You got to be able to think on your feet, like, when you both get to the bacon at the same time, that is the most intense. Hey, Blake. Competition.

Mike McCoy gets to the bacon, and you're still like, oh, you got it. You haven't found the bacon. You didn't realize where the bacon was. Remember when a kid would just grab the bacon and you hadn't even gotten close to getting there? And then you just are like, no, I don't remember that. I don't remember that. That personally. Like those were those were the natural athletes.

Okay, so fine, you're good at steal the bacon. And prison ball. You see you're not naming spore. PRISON ball? Did you say prison ball? Prison ball, yes. What is that? Why do you suddenly have a lisp?

What's happening? It's part of, you go. I don't have a list. Prythin ball, yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm talking about prison ball. Okay.

What is prison ball? Don't tell me. me that's like the base that basketball that has no backboard no prison ball was kind of like a it's like dodge ball but like you would put people in prison if you like caught the ball bombardment i i don't know i haven't played the game in a long time yeah dude hey guess what i fucking i crush red rover red rover we're talking about real sports here we're talking about a true natural athlete not someone yeah we're talking we're gonna let adam drop red rover but we're also talking about this is bullshit This is bullshit.

The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropicberry Energizers, now at McDonald's. Made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers, now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine, details of McDonald's.cai at participating Canadian restaurants, excluding Quebec. I was saying that if, you know, we can all name some childhood. game that we're good at, but I'm talking about a real sport. I know,

but my point is that you named one just like he's naming, but your point is that we shouldn't be naming them. Look, I'm really good at Beanbag. I mean, we could all name one. Beanbag Dodgeball, but... sters can't even name one. That's embarrassing.

Had to think about one. I had to think about it. I was good at him. You didn't have a childhood. A second-tier real sport. Anyway, I was going to say, I do think Blake's an athlete. I've run with Blake. Blake is quick.

Thank you. I think Blake looks great with his shirt off, which is not necessarily making him an athlete. No. Which is always fun. A lot of times you line up next to someone you're like, God damn, I'm about to get worked. And then they are so bad, it's crazy.

Sure. Then you find out that they just don't care and they're a fuck machine on the sign and that's kind of their main thing. You made him come? See what, Blake never even used his boss. to be a fuck machine. That's what sucks.

I used it to be a musical machine. Comic joke machine. I don't know. A musical machine, you can't play any instrument. Singing and dancing musical theater, my friend. Okay? Damn it. Excuse me.

I was Applegate and Damn Yankees in the Clayton Valley High School production of damn Yankees. You know when they talk about peeking in high school? Absolutely. Yep. I think that happened to you right then. I'm trying to think of my song. phone part of me Take your time

Those were the good old days I see I think Adam Adam you I have pretty good hand high You're a good ping pong player You're a big Throwing things across the room

Into the garbage can guy Right I love doing it You know I think you're a marksman You're a marksman I'm obviously a speed burst I'm a

my fast twitch reflexes. I'm very dexteritous. And then Derses raw power. So that's what we have. I don't know about that. Yeah. I know. I'd say Ders is great at swimming.

I'm a regular Michael Clark Duncan. I can swim. I could do a standing backflip back in the day. I'm like bodily coordinated if that makes sense. I don't know if I can catch things or... I think that makes a lot of sense to me sexually. We'll be right back. There's a catchphrase.

There's a catchphrase. Okay, well, I think the reason it all started is because you wanted to get to the root of you remembered the first time you ever threw the bird at somebody? I remember the first time I was about that young boy's age. I think I was like maybe age or so. And I remember these kids way down the way. They were a lot older.

These kids were like in like eighth grade or something, seventh eighth grade. And they did. did something, they, like, kicked our ball, or they took it. And from, like, a block away, I was like, oh, yeah, bing, bing, boom. Double birds. Double flying birds.

So the first time you ever did it was double? Yeah. Give me a hell, yeah. Yeah, that's huge. That's, like, getting domed before you kiss. And they sprinted down the street and beat my ass. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding.

They physically assaulted me. I was eight years old. These kids were, had to have been at least five years older than me. Okay, dokey. They came down and beat the shit out of me. We'll be more specific. Kip me in the head multiple times, got me on the ground, kicked me. Punched you.

Punched me. Yeah, pushed me down. Oh, no. They put the boots to you. Took my bike, threw it into a tree. The chain fell off. And then they took my shirt and ripped it off of me. So then I, and it only had the collar and was hanging off my body.

and I had to walk my bike home without the chain. Bro. It was a nightmare, dude. Did you leave the collar on? You just left the collar on necklace? Yeah, I left the collar on. And it was still like hanging kind of off me. It looked like a sad cape.

I remember it like pretty, it was a fucking first time in my life. I got my ass kick. And it was all from the, probably the first time I ever threw up the birds. And that's not the only time I was beaten up for throwing the birds. So when I see you throw up a bird, especially a double bird, I'm like, oh, shit.

Trigger, trigger, yeah. I'm surprised fucking... That's a fighting bird. Mark's kid doesn't climb through the screen and put some hands on you. Oh, my God! And so, Blake, you dive into this pool. Sure. Like, hands first, streamline.

Like a pencil. A regular dive. Yeah, that's what I tried to do. And then you just, you go straight into the ground at the bottom of the pool. And your finger goes... My middle finger hits first. And as soon as it has... happened. I was like, oh, fuck, I just broke my finger.

Mm-hmm. But I haven't gone to the doctor for it because I've been going for my feet lately, but I might, I have a physical today, so I might have them run this through the X-ray, too. Yeah. Yeah. What's going on with your feet? sucks. Sucks. No wonder you can't cut your toes. It sucks. It sucks. Well, I talked about it like two weeks ago. T-I-I Nation was pretty good. I had people in the DM some like real, I think, doctors or at least people who do like rehab. Is that what it is? No, my x-rays came back.

It looks like I have a little tiny heel spurs. Bitch feet. I told you, my man just, he just shoots them across the room and they always go in. The doctor told me I have a little tiny bitch feet. I've heard about that. Let's just say my days of stealing bacon.

Maybe over. They may be over. You might have stole my last bacon. Uh-huh. Yeah. So I have a tiny little heel spurs. Hill sperm. Heal sperm.

Someone busted a nut in my heels and it is swimming around in there. So I don't know. I have an appointment with a podiatrist. Sure. And we're going to get to the bottom of this. Now do you go to a doctor in Beverly Hills? Where do you go? I'm like a Burbank.

kind of guy. I like to keep it pretty norm core. Yeah, that should work. I don't need Jay Lowe's doctor looking at me. Come on, man. I don't know. You've seen her feet? Actually.

She's got great feet. And she was a dancer, too. You know, a lot of times you look at those dancers and their feet are. Noarl. Woo. Looking like. Fricing. LeBron James.

Tide. Budhole. Absolutely. Have you seen LeBron James's toes? Those things are. Pull them on. Let's pull them up. Are they really?

Are they really bad? Well, they must be. Throw in the chat. Yeah, you're going back and forth in basketball shoes for 40 years. That's what I'm saying. How does everybody not have heel spurs? Why am I getting them? This is kind of pissing me off.

You probably run like an idiot. I think I do. Do you run like a... I bet you come down on your heel and that is an outchie. I used to do that and I had to change. I know I run on the inside of my feet. I run on the inside. Primal spurnate.

That'll put the come right in there. Spurred, that'll get your little bitch feet hurt. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't know, man. I'm trying to figure it out because I don't want to hang up my running shoes. That would make me really sad. Okay, yes. So click on the link in the chat, and you will see LeBron James' feet.

They're all dancing with each other, dude. Whoa! Oh, I was not expecting that. His pinky toe is. He's got a hammer toe, huh? I think that's what all basketball players' toes look like. No, that can't be real. His pinky toes trying to get out.

That can't be real. Dude, that thing is coming out of the top of his foot. Imagine you're just, there's no way. He basically, all of his foot rests on his big toe. Everything else is like retreating. Shack, he's got a hammer toe. Look at this.

He has bunions, hammer toe, and then he's got a little pinky in the brain happening. Whoa, that's crazy. I don't know what that is. And his like second toe is like the big toe And then the one right next to it It looks like it's like The skin has worn off the top of it From like rubbing against his shoe all funky

This is blowing my mind This poor guy I wonder if any of these guys A lot of times like distance runners Will just have their toenails surgically removed for good So that they don't get like Narnly black toe

And like the nails keep falling off And all that I wonder if basketball players are doing that at all Or any of? Beau just did something very gnarly to me the other day. I had my feet... Bo Jackson. Adam's been hanging on Bo Jackson. Bullitt.

Bo Jackson. My son, Bo Jackson. My son, Bo, I had my feet up on the coffee table, and I was sitting on the couch. And I have a... My toes are disgusting. And we talk about this. Yeah. But I have a...

What do you call it? Foot fungus? Not foot fungus, but like the fungus of the toenails. Your fucking disaster, my guy. And it's for sure gross. and they look disgusting. Are they yellow? My leg, I was already hit by a Cementric,

so they look disgusting anyway, so I don't really care. Part for the course. But it's just, this toenails just like sort of hanging in there. And Bo grabbed it and goes, Daddy, what's this? And then goes, and tried to rip it off as if it were like a ticket that he was taking. Yeah, I see where you're, I see where you describe it. I see where he's coming from. It worked, dude.

You got it? It almost ripped off. I was starting to bleed. It was a whole fucking thing. Was that a moment where he hurt you so bad and the shock went through your body so quickly that like you kind of instantly almost like hit him? Yeah, like you almost got physical with him. Sometimes those things happen where you'd immediately go into fight mode instead of fight mode.

That doesn't happen until they're three. No, no, no, no. Tell us more about you abusing your children, Blake. No, this isn't me. I've done it. If my kid fucking hurts me, I agree. grab them so fast and, and, and, and, I believe this, I hold so firm. Underwater.

As I grimace, we're both underwater. Yeah. This is the, this is common training. Oh, uh-huh. So it's 5 a.m. It's elite. Oh, no, but I've been like hit in the face. I think I told you guys, I had to go get surgery where I've been like, hurt.

And I fucking grab out of reflex and I just hold and I go, you're like, oh, you can't. Just do things like that. You're lucky. And, you know, once the blood clears from their eyes, they see what I'm talking about. Right. They know. That's right.

I think you know. No, I didn't do that. He actually felt very bad right away. You know, he knew that he shouldn't have done that. And then he was saying, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. Because he was like, you're being a bitch.

You're being a Blake. He kept saying, I'm being a Blake, dude. That was actually, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is catching on, yeah. That's what your household says? Yes, be to Blake. There's a whole TikTok account about it.

But he does know both of your names. He goes, that's Blake. And then he says durs in the way that Jetset would say Ders. DER. D. Do you love it? Go, Blake and DER. Keep that. Let it ride.

And what are the odds that he is Jetset, reincarinated? Honestly. High. Real high. That would be incredible. That would be incredible. I mean, a comedy god as a son. A born entertainer.

Yeah. That's pretty fun, dude. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers, now at McDonald's, made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers, now at McDonald's. This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine, details at McDonald's.cai at participating Canadian restaurants, excluding Quebec. I'm Mungesha Together and I'm back with a new season of the podcast Skyline Drive. This time I'm diving into a rabbit hole of peptides, organoids, blood boys, blue zones and brain replacement to try to understand what this longevity obsession is all about and what it really means to live forever for all of us.

I learned about some rad science. I can make a brain for you and then we can test what draw is the best for your brain. That's incredible. Suppose to his brain. Here are some hard truths. I would expect Indians to age faster, but I did not expect it to be almost a four to five year acceleration. And get myself into a world of trouble.

I'd say probably start bone smashing. That doesn't work. To make it look more defined. They say it works. I don't know. Listen to Skyline Drive, How to Live Forever on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your for-you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsesives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. So obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people. And they were like, you smiled at us.

Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is, and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your mom.

podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, aka the biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicists for letting them do our

show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman. Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on his head? How about we flip the script? What is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott, this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show.

I would never expect. I would never set expectations for something like that to happen. If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm always. open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine. Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity. Exuding. I could smell it walking down the

hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, I was like, is that weed? Nope. It's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean? Like, you're like, they're so stupid. Everyone's so dumb. And fake.

Right. fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life, I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy.

Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just do you let your child watch Michael Jackson music videos? All do. That's the only thing. Yeah, that's the only thing he does do. Good. Good. Has he watched any? My kids watched him hell young. Yeah, we have a lot of Michael Jackson.

I don't think he's seen any... I remember putting on thriller, real young. Remember the time? I don't think he's seen any music videos. Really? How do you even play a music video on your television? Vivo or just... Vivo, YouTube, yeah. You need to have some music videos running, dude. That's how kids learned. That's how we learned everything. Sure. all my sexual awakenings were

Mark McGrath taught me almost everything I know about everything Tony Braxton? Come on She told me about belly buttons. Well yeah, he's two years old, dude. I feel like he's got some time to watch music videos. No, you never know. You keep telling

yourself that. Yeah, you never know, man. You want to just get these music videos flowing. Put on corn freak on a leash, dude. Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. Is that the one with the Anime bullet. Yeah.

That was the bullet that kept coming through. Yeah. Good video. The freaking best, dude. It's a bagel. Dude, tell you what, I don't even like that, like, new metal. I don't, that wasn't my favorite, uh, that was not my favorite type of music. Sure, sure.

Awkward. Shout out, shout out. Every fan you have just went, what? Neck and Grisle! Except for Creed. Creed's not new metal. Creed is not new metal. Well, I was more into, like, punk and pop.

punk and stuff like that when I was a kid. New Metal got a little dark. Got a little dark for me. Now I'm all new metal all the way. Yeah, you're fully new. It's science. And you with the umlons. Okay.

But you put on corn radio on Spotify for a workout. You do? Dude, that'll get you going. All of a sudden you're lifting weights that you never even dreamed you could lift, dude. The fucking people. You're, you turn into a free.

gonna leave. Yeah, you do. You're getting corn power. So what ends up being played? Because I know if I ever put on a radio station that I like, as in like I like the artist, then you just get some like stray dogs in there that you're like, this is not like Beastie Boys. This is not...

You'll turn on Beastie Boys radio and get corn and I got to go, what are we doing, Spotify? How did we get here? And the longer you listen, the weirder it gets. The algorithm starts to get a little loopy. It starts to just... Or I feel like it just kind of gives up and what it was doing and then just goes like, this is the music you actually like.

What are you doing? What are you doing? Here we go. Corn Radio. Corn. Limp biscuit. Yeah, that's the one-two punch. Everybody, that's to be expected.

That's what I came to. I don't need Spotify to tell me that. Okay. Come on. And then you're getting deaf tones. Then you're getting drowning pool. Then you're getting my boy, Rob, zombie, Dragula. That song.

Water trash. That one. That one goes. That one goes. How's that one go? Dead I. And I'm a rock D-N-N-Dun-N-Dun-N-D-N-D-D-B

Oh, okay. I do the D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-N-A-D-D-D-D-Sah D-D-B. This is truck or rock. You're describing what I would think Kyle's walk-up song would be if he was in the MLB.

Hey, see you. Remember what I said I wasn't that into new metal? I guess I take it back because all these fucking songs. Good, good. But I don't know if, would I, I don't know of Rob Zombie's new metal. He was crazy.

He was in the fucking new metal? category. I think to be in new metal you have, well, maybe. You have to have like somebody like on the turntable. Oh. Oh. I think you have to have turn tables to be new metal. Oh. To me that's kind of a. Is that right? Is that? Maybe not. I don't know. I don't know. No, keep going because you, this is something I don't know anything about it. It was like a very specific genre. So you never listened to any Lincoln Park. Absolutely not. You know. You never gave. And that's not a diss to them.

It just was so not something I would ever be interested in. Hmm. Mm. You're fucking disaster, my guy. Even when they did collision course with Jay-Z, you weren't. We've covered this. Yeah, we have. Okay, so, and you, the use of that song in the Miami Vice movie trailer.

Right, right, right. Ely. But imagine you're about to work. Thank you. And you put on your headphones and you don't have the energy. And it's a big whatever day, a chess day. And you're like, I want to try to put it some numbers today, dog. Yeah.

And that song by drowning pool, bodies. Your boobs are huge. Yeah. Come on. That's an all-timer. That's an all-time. Can I tell you something? It doesn't.

It doesn't. There's nothing inside of me that identifies with that. Hot, hot, hot. That's insane. Well, of course you're not, I mean, you're not a murderer. You're not, you're not, the bodies aren't hitting the floor, but. No, but even just the energy. It doesn't psych you up.

That doesn't get you rock hard. That wouldn't get you going, dude. I feel like I would run through a wall for that song. Well, Adam, I think you truly should have joined the military in that case. Because these are like, these are like, who are like, who are like, who are like power songs for, for the army. Well, yeah, I'm a Midwestern boy who graduated high school in the early 2000s. I feel like I'm very hurrah. Yeah.

It was before, yeah, when hurrah was okay. And I probably would have joined the military, probably. 2000, I graduated in the early 2000s, 2000, the attacks just happened. Oh, damn. But then I was hit by the cement truck, dude. Oh. And they said, if you weren't hit by the cement truck, you're one of the most gifted natural athletes we've ever seen. Donke!

Okay. They might have said that. I didn't go in, but they might. Instead, he's just throwing trash across the room from a wheelchair. So he's just all I got. No. Do you really, do you, did you foresee yourself joining the armed forces at all? Was that ever a consideration?

Did you ever have some sort of a... Yeah, it was for me when I was six, for sure. Okay. Yeah, when I was G.I. Joe. Yeah, I used to love G.I. Joe. Come on. No, no, not really. I mean, but also, like, who knows what the, what kind of person I would have become if I hadn't been hit by the cement truck. Right.

The cement truck led me into the arts. Well, of course. Because I couldn't physically. do anything else. We could be on a podcast with Adam Rittenhouse. Damn. That's not good. We don't know.

We just don't know. We don't know. It's the butterfly effect. You change one thing. American icon. Isn't that kind of a thing like in the Midwest? You guys get recruited pretty hard, right? I feel like out in California, they weren't coming by the damn Yankees musical and

trying to recruit me. Yeah, that's right. You're from a suburb in the Bay Area, and I don't think that it's hitting too hard out there. But in the Midwest, out in the country, there's generations of people who are in the military. And so it's a little more normalized. Yeah. I have a lot of family in the military. That was never something that you felt you even wanted to consider.

Well, I couldn't, Blake. And I think I've said this multiple times now. I'm just trying to bring in. I was hit by a goddamn cementro. Right. Or else, and I don't know. That was his 9-11. Because my, you know, it changed the chemistry of my brain.

But I'm pissed now. I went down a different road to be this artist you see before you today. Yes, yes. And you're doing a heck of a job, man. Or I could have been a fucking GI Joe. Which would have been sick. The ultimate soldier, dude. Do you think I would have killed Bin Laden?

I think you could have made it to SEAL Team. Do you think maybe I was at SEAL Team 6 material? I feel like you would have been like a GI Joe and you would have got grenades that were like the shape of football. You would have changed the game. Gernades. Gernades. Absolutely. Right. Explosive Nerf, vortex.

Yeah, I would say out of the three of us, I'm probably the, I was the most likely to get recruited into the military. You also have Army body. I love you guys. You've got Army body. Yeah. You can fit on a submarine. I think that's Navy body, isn't it? What? Whatever. Fucking military body.

You got to be able to fit inside of like a tank. You're saying he's like a, yeah. the military takes all, all body types? I don't know about shapes, but all sizes. Like you're saying heights? Yeah, heights. Yeah, there's certain heights where it's not an advantage. You're like, all right, I got to sit in this fucking tank and I'm six, three,

and this other dude next to me is 5'10. Ooh, I never thought of that. I don't think you get too, you're too tall for the ride. You're like, this guy's too big to be a tank dude. Well, I think, I think... That's how I described it when they tried to recruit me. I go, I'm too tall for the ride. Sorry, guys, I'm going to go to college and swim.

I feel like I met a lot when I did it. the USO tour, and we went to Iraq and Afghanistan over Christmas. Mm-hmm. I felt like I met a lot of very tall, very strapping men that were bigger than Durs, that I were in the military. And I feel like you could have joined if and when you wanted to. But here we are. Yeah.

I wish you didn't say you felt like you met. I wish you said that you just, that you did meet. Well, I can't. Yes, I did mean. I did mean. Okay, let's go. I did mean. Who knows?

Before it was just a feeling. Now it's a fact. It's funny how that works. Was that ever something you explored? Did you ever think of maybe... That's all, Your Honor. Did you ever think of serving your country? No.

At my high school was either people who took advantage of the things that the military can provide for you as far as like, you know, getting out of where you are, paying towards education, all that. Or it was the absolute craziest people that I knew. Yeah. Who were like, murder? Like, but we can do it? Let's go. Let go. Yeah.

And then they were like mercenaries after the military and all that kind of stuff. Oh, so they actually were really successful in their field. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they really saw some shit. Yeah. Damn. Well, dude, came back from like his first tour or whatever, and I'm like, dude, like, what the fuck is it like out there? He goes, check this out.

I'm like, what? And he goes, you use one of these things? I'm like, what am I looking at? He's like, it's a fucking cock ring, bro. And I was like, you got it, dude. What am I holding? I thought you were going to say like a weapon. What am I holding?

I was like a fucking, as Blake was a grenade pen? Like what are we looking at here? That was his big like, I'm home. I'm going to tell you guys what it's like out there. Wait. This dude's on international waters thrown on a cock ring and just blowing backs out. Oh my God. So is he fucking, I mean, is he fucking dudes?

Do you love him? No, not fucking dudes. No, no, no. Okay, okay. He's fucking. He's fucking service women. Uh-huh. Or he's fucking, he's a land ho.

You're saying he's going. He's hitting land and he's a hoe. Oh, like he's going to like, uh, yeah. Yeah. Dude, that's the perks of the job right there. I just remember being like, all right. So he got a grenade pin in the head in the head of his cock and he started hitting the ports hard. I guess so.

And he came back and reported to you that life was good. And so now we're all like, should we've just gone into the. military, you get a free cock ring. There's something fun about it about just you and your boys doing a mission. Sure. By the way, hey, most of the time I would say 90, 90%

of the time, you're just fucking working out, kicking at the mess hall. Sure. You know, fucking chopping it up. Yeah. And then you're called into some shit. And then you get, and then they go, hey, good job boys. Go into port. And then you throw on the cock ring.

Oh, righty. That doesn't sound like the worst. You're like, gentlemen? Hang on. Yeah. Sign me up. Gentlemen, grab your weapon. Here we go. This is what I feel the recruiters should have been.

Good morning, Vietnam. Couldn't get me out of the bunker. Yeah, I think this is what the recruiters. That's what they should tell you. That's the pamphlet that I should have been handed. Dang. They just throw the clink, clink, clink on the table. You're like, what is that?

It'll like join and I'll teach you. Come on. So clink, clink, clink, clink. Why did I imagine a cock ring was a plastic thing? This is metal. Doesn't it have to stretch over your dick and balls? No, they're like barbells, dude. What?

Yeah. This is a metal ring. This is not a barbell. A barbell is literally the opposite. Straight. Okay, yeah, I'm sorry. It's like a metal ring that has like a ball at the end of it, though, right? No, you're thinking of a Prince Andrew?

The piercing that goes like in the head of the dick? No, it's not a Prince Andrew. It's a Prince Albert. Prince Albert. Yes. That is what I'm... Prince Andrew is the... It has a net print.

Drew has a child on that end of his day. Right, right. Right, right. Rapist? Yeah. And this is allegedly we don't know. You lose. Prince Andrew has a Prince Albert, we're guessing. Oh, for sure.

No, a cock ring is a steel ring or maybe a different textile 3D print. I got a 3D printer. So how do you... This is important. Some this is important cock rings at the next tour. Yeah. How do you 3D print? Oh, hey, Anders, can I use your phone to search for something?

No, fucking... Why are you searching 3D printer Cochrane? That's actually a really funny bit is always barring your buddy's phone and then searching up the crazy shit and it just fucks up his algorithm. Just leaving it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His algorithm's like so fucked up because you looked at his phone for 10 minutes. I'm pissed now.

And Adam, I appreciate what you're doing, which is laying the land for when you search for something. My friend did that. And you go, oh, no, we were joking about for the podcast. It was on the pod. It was a bit. Dude. You heard it. Oh, that is funny.

That is funny. What friend did it? Dude, the one. I don't want to embarrass him. The hair one. The one that you don't like. The one that you don't like. Right.

The one you just don't like it all. The one that you just don't like. He's always doing that. Dude, how many of your friends do your partner not like? I feel like my, I feel like Chloe likes 98%. Oh, oh. Yeah. There's a few outliers.

Interesting. Who's that 2%? I don't know. I'm trying to think. I don't think she has one that she doesn't like. I think... Maybe the guy, the mercenary, who came back from war. She knows who he is.

She doesn't really know him, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She knows of him. He's a legend. So, I'm sorry. And I hate to go back to this cockering because this is blowing my mind because I always...

thought a cock ring was like a plastic thing that you put your dick and like it goes over your ball under your balls and your dick through it and it keeps you hard isn't that what it's for no yes that's something else yeah it cuts off your no you put it on before you've got a hard on and then you get a hard on and then it like constricts the blood in it so wait i thought a cockering was a piercing it's not you're saying a cockering is indeed a thing that you you you're saying a cockering is indeed a thing that you you slide on to what Adam was explaining. Todd, we're not getting any pictures in the chat for some reason. Could we see LeBron's foot with a cock ring?

Yeah. Okay, so there's a lot of different things here that are cock rings. Let's go ahead and shift into overdrive. By the way, I guess I never knew what this was. This is a whole to do, if you will. This is a hole to do. This is a hole. Hello.

Triple metal. I'm going to come. They sell them out. target now? It says falling asleep or using illicit drugs at the same time as using a cock ring is very dangerous, which I would imagine. Forbredge. I would imagine.

I don't know. That's the only way I do it. I use it to go to sleep. Yeah. It's a sleeping device. The first sign of penny problems is when the penis starts to become numb, painful, or cold. That's when you know it's working. Imagine you put a thing on your dick and your dick just gets a, so.

suddenly your dick's freezing. Let's put that thing on ice. Dude, I kind of, I mean, that's kind of kinky. It's like corpse cock. Dude, you know there's some... All right, any tapebacks apologies. Yeah.

And women out there, we know there's droves of you who are into the corpse cock. Slide into Blake's DMs and let them know. Oh, for sure, bro. Oh, come on. There's some goth baddies who are super down for that.

There are zero. I don't think there are any. There's your, crazy. You think that there's not women who fantasize about having sex with like cold vampiric men. A corpse? A corpse? Yeah. Like somnities. I bet there are

under 50 in the world. People? People? No. No, absolutely not. You're underestimating how weird people are. You think that would actually do it? Not just like a weird fantasy. I'm talking about the actual... Oh no, no. You're saying... No, I'm saying they're finding a way to hack the system like oh hey you know part of me has there's an allure to having sex with a living dead man

will you put a cockering on until your chick gets cold that's different because living means warm so I'm sure that there's chicks out there who want to like sleep with somebody pretending to be asleep sorry a reanimated corpse that's just cosplay that's just like the corpse bride fucking like with just the like stitching painted on their face

or whatever sure Sure. We're talking about a cold dick. Nobody wants a cold dick. No one wants a cold dick. I disagree. I think that there's probably a large sect of... See, you say large sect, but I think that number is...

More than 50 people on the earth. Okay, I was talking about that actually would fuck a dead body. That's not what I'm talking about. And those people are... They are crazy. So maybe the number are... Yes, that's insane. I think there's a lot of...

There's a lot of red tape there. But what's crazy is that I'm like, those women are like the most insane. We know chicks. And then I do think there's way more guys. Oh, way more guys. The number for like women would be like,

there's 50 crazy women out there and then the number for guys is like 12 million. What's wrong with me is that I go, those guys are crazy, but they're not as crazy as I think. Wow. Really? Because I think guys are so desperate

and women are less desperate. So to Adam's point, there are fewer women who would be into this, which makes them on the bell curve of crazy, further down the bell crazy than on that bell curve of guys. The bell end, the bell ends. I think it's further... I see what you guys are saying, too. I'm saying, I'm not talking about actual corpses.

I'm not talking about necrophilia. I'm talking about people who are like finding. ways to kind of to cosplay. To use the cock ring to keep it on until your dick is cold. Cold. Which that's what they say take it off. We've got

problems. But maybe this got batty's like, I want I want a cold one. Give me a cold one. And by the way, it's not a goth batty. It is a deranged sad woman pulls her hair out

constantly and maybe can't have scissors because she's constantly cutting her nipples off. Yeah. 69, dude! And is in no way part of society. And often has to be taken

to the hospital to retrieve things from inside of her. Nipples. Well, the nipples are gone. Yeah, they're gone. She cut them off. She ate those. Okay? She fed those to her cat. This is like Harley Quinn. You're talking like Harley Quinn style. I'm talking about gnarly. Narlie Quinn.

Yeah, yeah. Well, if you, when you, when you, If you break it down like that, that doesn't sound like much of a baddie. Exactly. Yeah, when you break it down like that. It's not a goth bag. What is she's like drop dead gorgeous? Emphasis on the dead. Yeah.

See, that's where I knew you were going with it. Let me tell you this. I think the furthest that goth batty's go is, like, those tentacles. Tentacles? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like the tentacle dildo stuff. They're doing that. Oh, yeah.

Those are wild. Oh, my God. Have you not seen these. that is further on the bell curve than... Yeah, tentacles. Yeah, there are some sex... And how does you know exactly what he was talking about, Blake? The way you answered that...

Because it was literally somebody was asking to be like a sponsor of our podcast. We clicked the link once. We looked at the stuff they were selling and they had like these super... I don't remember this. And we never got sent anything. No, because I thought it would be really cool to have back here with my load burst or boost. And do you know why they like a tentacles? Why is that?

Because tentacles and 11 hurts. Okay. Yes, points! I'll take it, man. Here's your size. So, wait, so, so, so, so, so, so, dude, I hate to be this guy that does it. Because I feel like I know about a lot of this stuff, obviously. Hey, and dude, way to go.

You demand. You demand. No, thanks, dude. And some of it, you wish I wish I didn't know about. Adam's just saying he clicks on the things that popped up. in pornados back in the day. Oh, yeah. I'm always clicking.

I'm always clicking on that. Yeah. Well, I've had multiple computers just be like, we're good. We're done here. You had them. We give up. Cough. I mean, I did.

I told you guys about the lime wire that I got, the, I was downloaded. Probably my girl Heather, our heart, deep throat. Those videos back in the day. And literally, my computer comes up and it was a skull and crossbones. And it goes, ha, ha, ha, ha.

And then it like Satan fizzles away. Yeah. You got busted. So yeah, I stay clicking on things. The new Red Bull Dragonberry and Tropic Berry Energizers now at McDonald's. Made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor. The all-new Red Bull Energizers. Now at McDonald's.

This product may not be right for you. High in caffeine, details at McDonald's. com. I'm Munggisha together, and I'm back with a new season of the podcast Skyline Drive. This time I'm diving into a rabbit hole of peptides, organoids, blood boys, blue zones, and brain replacement to try to understand what this longevity obsession is all about. And what it really means to live forever, for all of us. I learned about some rad science. I can make a brain for you, and then we can test what draw is.

the best for your brain, as opposed to his brain. Here's some hard truths. I would expect Indians to age faster, but I did not expect it to be almost a four to five year acceleration. And get myself into a world of trouble. I'd say probably start bones smashing. That doesn't work. To make it look more defined.

They say it works. I don't know. Listen to Skyline Drive, How to Live Forever on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners.

Each week, we talk to someone in show business, aka The Biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicists for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman. Not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on his head? How about we flip the script?

What is the surprise woman? Actually, you think it's the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird. Adam Scott, this entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never expect. I have. I would never set expectations for something like that to happen. If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept.

You know, Danny McBride, fine. Yeah, it's all this fragile masculinity. Exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, is that weed? Nope, it's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is.

You know what I mean? They're like, they're like, oh, everyone's so dumb. And fake. Right, fake. And also not interesting. or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us.

Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Pros Society. the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table. It's like if you can hide some real. messages inside compelling characters, and that is a Trojan horse. Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations,

or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place. Listen to Pro Society on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. See you between the pages. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're alone. you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So you've been out in the field. Go ahead.

So what is this, Dildo, that it looks like a... Octopus? It's in the chat. It's in the chat. Oh, here we go. There are some sex toys. Okay. It's exactly what you think it is, Adam, and it's gnar.

It's gnar. But this is what goth bat is. This is a Cthuloo. This is advertising Cthuloo is in the background. And what is Cthuloo? So now we got to compete with octopuses? It's like the, it's like the HP Lovecraft, like octopus monster. Okay.

A lot of those words didn't make sense to me. On one side it has an elephant hoof or elephant foot on one out. Oh, okay, this is cool. This one, like, go to the last one. This you, like, put on. This isn't just a standalone toy. No, I don't. No, I don't.

This tentacle is over 22 inches long. Get the fuck out of here, dude. Oh, my God! People are so weird. It's 20% off. Okay, let's go. Yeah, they're not flying out the door. They are not flying out the door.

Scroll down. Blake, there's one for you. You see this alien with like the dick is the nose and then there's eyes. Oh yeah, there it is. It looks like Grito from Star Wars. Yeah, like your. Yeah, that is cool. Journey to this.

Now, this isn't for the. The weak. The women, right? No. This is for the women. This is for, this is for like the- It's for a couple goth batty's. The weirdo boyfriend is just like, actually, uh, I always wanted.

Yes. I always wanted, like, my girl to fucking. Octopus. Oh, now that you mention it. And girls are so nice to us about this that they're like... God bless them. Yeah. God bless them.

Mm-hmm. God bless them. For real. You know? Some Gandalf dude is like, please, please, I can't return it. It was $190. I spent everything. Okay.

I spent everything on this. But like, you're, I'm going back to dentistry school. This is crazy. Okay. All right. Yeah. I'll help. I'll help.

Do you love him? Do you love him? Help me become a nurse, right? Yeah, this is a bummer. if you finally feel comfortable enough, because you guys are kind of shaming it right now. But if you finally get to a place where you're comfortable enough with your partner,

that you kind of say like, hey, click this link, what, I'm like... Look at this link in my bio. Hashtag Blake, Blake's baddies. What are you? You get 20% off. What are you thinking about this,

this tentacle stuff? And then, and then you're saying, She's out the door. She does, like... No, no. I think we were saying that girls are so nice to us. Yes.

That they would go, I don't want to, like, put this tentacle, this 22-inch tentacle in my body. Yeah. But this guy's really nice to me, and he holds the door. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a natural athlete. He's so good at Steele-Bake.

He's so great. Yeah, he danced with my grandma at the wedding. He's just like a nice guy. He's into the... these weird things. And the guy sounds like this and he was really good at steal the bacon

when he was younger. Shut up, bitch! And... He's got bitch feet. He's got heels spurs. I feel terrible for him. I feel terrible for the guy.

What do I do? I like that Blake put this on himself. We weren't even put this... He liked... He's getting ahead of it. He's like... We were making him a make-believe guy. And he was like...

You were not. No, no, no. Well, I only hopped on the bandway. of pretending it was you after you had led me down the road. Well, I'm just trying to identify here, man. I'm just sticking up for the little guy. That's all. So God bless women who are willing to do things like that for their man.

Yeah. God bless you. And I hope it's not, you hope it's. The least we could do, the least we could do is make our cocks cold for a mess they ask. That's the least we could do. That's the least we could do. I mean, you are absolutely right, buddy. That's all I'm saying.

Is it real? I remember a kid in high school that was a year older. And I was a senior in high school and he had just graduated. But we were still working telemarketing together. And we sat next to each other our cubicles. And he was telling me about all the fucking he's doing now that he's out of school. And he has an apartment. He's doing so much fucking.

I'm like, how big are the Jankos? Actually, he had Jankos. And he, he, he, right. He's new metal as fuck. Adam. Adam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's new metal as fuck. Yes.

Stop. Yes. But then he told me he got a Prince Albert. And I did not know what that meant. And I'm like, for sure. For sure, dude. And then you find out the commitment to get a Prince Albert is so. Because then for the rest of your life, even if you take that Prince Albert out.

It doesn't heal. It doesn't steal. You're going to have like weird holes or like scar tissue on each side. It's not going to heal. perfectly. It's like anything else. You're going to have to explain what's up with your cock. Yeah. For the rest of your life.

And I see where you're coming from, Adam? Sure, he's coming all right. In that you are like, man, I'm going to have to explain this to the normal women I deal with. I have a feeling this guy's not going to have to explain anything to anybody. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They're like, oh, you took it out. Somebody for everyone. Do you still have it?

No. You know what I mean? Oh, no. And they're like, actually I have a weird request. Are you into octopus? Your dick is so big. It's just too warm. Can we cool it off?

Can we put this on ice with a military-sized-cock ring? Absolutely. Hoorah. My God. O'Raw. By the way, dude. Fucking graphic photo when you click on this link and it's on Wikipedia, get real. So Prince Albert.

I'm good. It goes through the, I didn't realize it goes through the head of the penis. Yeah. I thought it went sideways. I guess I still didn't even know. No, it kind of like goes through like the tip, like through the hole a little bit. There's a couple of different versions. So when you piss, it just hoses out.

It's like on the bottom of your urethra, correct? What is the, where is that? And then there's other ones that are the barbell that go through the top of the head. Wow. This is the one that I just looked at. It goes down through the. the head and connects like this. Yeah, at the urethra, though.

Is the urethra, the penis hole opening? Here, dude. Just, hey. No, no, no, no, no, we're on Netflix. We're on Netflix. We can't do that. Yes, the penis hole opening. Yes, the whole of the penis. Yes, yes, yes. So, it would be like a fire hose, or like just a regular hose when you're hosing, a

garden hose, when you press... Yeah, you're trying to go a penis just fucking, me, myself and Irene style? Yeah, it's just hosing everywhere, dude. Anybody? Anybody? Dang. I know what you're saying. Yeah. I get it. Remember when movies were funny?

I do. I love it. Good old days. I heard some guy at the pool the other day. He was, I think they were talking about Marcello Hernandez and they were complimenting him. And because they were going, they were younger, they were like probably like 21, 22. And they're going, man, was that dude? He was on S&L, man.

He was hilarious. And the other guy's like, yeah, S&L, man. Wow. And then they're all going, yeah, man, SNL. And then one guy goes, yo, you remember comedies? Yeah, yeah. Wow, dude. And I was like, yeah, they literally said, do you remember comedies?

As if they don't exist anymore because they don't. Although I did drop my car off to get something updated the other day. And a young dude, probably in his 20s, was like, you were in game over? And I go, yep. And he goes, dude, I watched that movie like 10 times. And I was like, hell yeah, brother. Yeah. Young guy.

Netflix gets the young books. Hey, do you think if Netflix starts to do like theaters, do you think they'll re-release movies that never got to come out in theaters? Then maybe we'll have a little Game Overman run in theaters? You don't know how business works. I don't think that that's going to happen. They want people watching Netflix at home. No, they're starting to talk.

about doing theater releasing. They say that so that everyone else is quaking in their boots because they know like, oh, fuck. And then there's some movies that they do release because they want them to be eligible for award seasons and stuff like that. Yes. Or the director is so powerful that they force their hand. Like, I think Greta Gerwig is doing a Chronicles of Narnia movie.

Right. Yeah. For Netflix, that she's making them release in theaters. That's interesting. So you're saying we don't. Yeah, we don't have that juice. I want to be on board with believing that story. That seems like bullshit, though. Yeah, that's just what I've heard.

No, I think now, because movie theaters are really... I understand. That sounds very good as like a PR thing to be like, this is how powerful Greta Gerwig is. And it's not that she doesn't have, like, the juice right now. But I'm also like fucking Brad Pitt and George Clooney had a movie that was supposed to be in theaters. And then Apple was like, nope. And then Ben Affleck and Matt Damon had their movie.

And they wanted it in theaters and Netflix was like, nope. Yeah, well, we'll see. When was that? We'll see. I think that that movie will come out this Christmas ring. The Rip or whatever. Because I think it might be just because of the times, because the theaters are kind of really cracking right now and movies are really doing well in theaters.

So maybe they're just going to release them? We took, we took Bo to Paul Patrol 3, Dynamo. How was it? Ooh, yeah, I got to know. It's fun. It's a lot of action. It's pretty. seen the other ones?

I saw the first one. I haven't seen the second one. The one of Taras used a banger. What's that one? I think that's the second one. I haven't seen the second one. I haven't seen the first one. I think this is the third one.

But yeah, it was awesome. And Bo, when I got him up this morning, he was like, Dad, remember when we went to the movies? And I'm like, yeah, dude, I remember that shit. It's crazy when they remember things. You're like, you're a real human. You take a knee and you say,

movies are dying, son. movies are dying. Did you like really build it? Like did you guys get a bunch of snacks? Did we get icedys? And oh yeah, man. Well, we didn't get icies. But we gave us some popcorn.

Even though they're like popcorn will kill children. That's like everyone won't shut up about how popcorn will kill the kids. Say it. I haven't heard that. How is that? I haven't heard that either. Yeah. It's like the number one choking hazard because their wind pipes are too small or whatever.

But I was like. For the seeds? You know. I don't, I never heard that. I'm right here. I think you're right. He's not running around. He's just,

he's just watching the dino movie. Right. God. Somebody clipped that just in case. Yeah, just in case. Yeah. God forbid. I didn't,

I didn't, but just somebody playing the clip. Yeah, it's not going to happen. I hadn't heard that popcorn was a hazard. I didn't. I haven't. Yeah, I feel like you didn't read a lot of books or on parenting or. Send me the book that has the popcorn is the number one.

Like to wing it. And by the way, neither did I. I just, my algorithm made me learn a bunch of stuff. I was like, oh, fuck, I don't want to learn this. You might be watching, like, AI shit that's not even real. Like, popcorn is a choking hazard? I don't know. Yeah, popcorn is a choking hazard.

That sounds like. Look up. Todd. Some other snack is trying to throw them under the bus. I would say popcorn is the least. Top 10 choking hazards for kids. Top 10 choking hazards, grapes. Grapes.

Yeah. Cherry tomatoes. Uh, milk duds. Cock ring. Cock rings has to be up there. Batteries. Oh, fuck. He's joking.

What is it? Is it like a grape? Did you not cut his grapes? Not a grape. Is he eating cherries? I wish. I wish. Okay, it can be lea.

Popcorn is a leading cause of death and injury among children, especially when they are three years old or younger. He's two and a half. But that being said, we were sitting right there. You can't go to... I'm sorry. He's advanced. I'm sorry. You can't go to the movies and not eat popcorn.

No, you have to. I hate eating at the movies. You don't even... Not even popcorn? You don't even eat popcorn? No. That is... What kind of childhood did you have to?

I ate popcorn when I was a kid, and then I was like, so now I have to have to... They were making Ders eat popcorn constantly, very early on. Yeah, they were like, fuck. We got to these three. Then it doesn't work, apparently. You want some more popcorn. Come on. We can't afford all this popcorn.

We can't afford three kids. No, you don't have to swallow. You don't have to swallow. Just it all in your mouth. Let's play the vacuum game. Thursday, can you gargle it? No, I just don't like dealing with popcorn and like the fucking hands afterwards and like cleaning. And then I have to have a drink.

Then I'm like three quarters to the movie and I'm like, I got to piss like a racehorse. Oh, man. You guys, that's a lot. Dude. When it's a racehorse, that's a lot. Dude. I went to the Odyssey in like the big theater

I got to Where'd you go downtown? City walk City walk Bro I got to like Where I thought the movie was over I had to pee so bad It was like

It was like the climax of the movie And I'm like I have to go I tackled about five people I fell in a dude's lap I hit somebody's junior mince off Everybody was so mad at me dude I was like

It's from alcoholics I got from alcoholics I couldn't have biffed it harder, but the rows were so thin, and I would have peed my pants. Were you at I-Mex? You're at I-Mex? Why are the rose so thin? That's weird. I think, I don't know.

They don't have a recliner seats? No, it was like, we were crammed in there. There was no footroom. You could go D-CLA, bud. It was, I felt so bad. It was, like, right at the scene when they, like, lock them all in together. If you know what that is towards the end. And I was just falling on.

Like, I literally, like, fell into a guy and, like, held him. Like, what the fuck? I'm so sorry. You have to go. Why? When you feel the inkling, when it's a three-hour movie, when you're an hour and a half in, I just go. I should have.

I thought I was going to make it. I just go. Because I go, I know. What happened? What happened? And then you dead sprint there. You come back. And then you can see the second half of the, because I'm with you.

I have to piss. If I drive 20 minutes, I piss before leaving the house. If I drive somewhere and it takes over 20 minutes. I'll piss first thing when I get there. You gotta go before a movie. I just do another piss. You know what I do now?

I made my kid go, I go, we're going. He goes, I don't have to go, I go. I did. You go before a movie, let's just go in there. He goes like this. I hear him, he's next to me, he goes, and then he just turns around. I'm like, all right.

I was so embarrassed that I didn't go back. I didn't return to my seat. I watched it from the hallway of the, like, you know, like you can see the theater, like the screen. You did one of these? So I waited all that time. I waited all that time

To see it in that one specific Theater and I watched the end of the movie from the hallway of the Of the theater. Oh my God. What a beta move, dude. I was so ashamed.

Dude, I straight up tackled like five people. I felt terrible. That's crazy that you couldn't just get up and walk out of the same. They were audibly Your hands were all wet. You're like, sorry.

They were audibly saying like, What the fuck? Yeah. And I was like, Oh, you're really. in the movie. I felt so bad. I won my money back. Because usually when I have to pee, because I always have to pee during the movie, I'll take my phone and I'll, I'll put it in the, uh, where you put your, your soda and I'll record it. I'll press record. So when I get back, I can review what I miss.

When do you do that? Yeah. When I leave to go pee, I leave my phone there recording. I understand when you Oh, when do I review it? When do you watch it? At the end, uh, after the movie's done. Hey, why do, were you by yourself? Because Blake, that's genius. Thank you. And yet also. crazy. What? I started doing it after sinners because that scene where they do the Irish jig, I was gone for that. And Ders was like, did you see the Irish jig?

And I'm like, okay, you're fucking me. And he's like, no, there was this whole Irish jig part. There was an Irish jig part. Yeah, that was insane. I didn't see that. I wish I would have recorded. Now I record when I go to the bathroom. But I didn't this time because I would have had to leave my phone behind.

So, hey, but aren't you just with someone that you can, like, during a slower moment go like hey what did I miss well I don't want to interrupt but I want to see it I want to see what I miss I don't want to retail it well how long did this piss take you the the fish you should be there and back in under three minutes

yeah it was quick but again I couldn't I couldn't go back to my seat because it was a quick piss but I just waited I'm sorry I'm sorry that was such a bummer it was any any takes any apologies any epic slams if you could have if you could

go back, would you have taken your seat or do you like who you are? Um, I wouldn't have took my seat because the, the aisles were so thin, I would have, I would have stepped on feet again. Sounds like they got to upgrade their whole lifestyle there at the city walk, dude. They do. They need to make the lanes a little bit. DTLA is roomy. Although I was so close, I felt so bad. I took my kid and we were like, fucking face up against the screen. Yeah. was not good. I don't even know why they offer those seats.

They're terrible. Dude, I will say that Paul Patrol is, it was the first time I went to like a true children's children's movie. Because I took both a toy story, but that is like. A lot of adult go to that. Yeah.

Yeah. It was more of, it was like a bigger event type picture. Sure. And it's four kids, but there is a lot of adults there. We've grown up with toy stories, but it is.

Paw Patrol is a, is for very young kids. You're not going there unless you're taking your two, three, four, five-year-old. Yeah, it's weird when you see the dude's solo adult watching Paul Patrol. Yeah, you're a strange guy. That's questionable behavior. Uh-huh. Yeah, you're, you have an octopusy in your pants.

You're on the other side of the bell curve. There's no doubt. You're a tent school gang. Yeah, you got a cold, you got a cold dick. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, something's up with you. You need to be escorted. But it was funny hearing, like, the little kids, there was probably six.

six families in there. What else was on a roll? Yeah. There was probably six families in there. And you hear like during when the bad guy would come, there was one kid that just kept going, Dada, that's a bad guy. And then Bo, who's like a little younger. He just throw up two fingers.

No, he would go, he'd go bad guy and then go. Yeah. Yeah. Dang. Classic. Classic, dude. Man. Any takebacks?

Any apologies? Any Epic slams? I guess I will take back the way I said, Gernade. What is it, Grenade? Grenade. Is that the correct? I don't know.

Gernade. Sorry, I said Gernade. I think you're saying Garnade or something. You said it... Gernade, like Gernola, instead of granola. Gronola. Yeah, and it's grenade. This is just part of your speech pattern.

Yeah, I just, you know, we're from the bay. We say it a little different. You say dennen. You say gurninola. I will say it's... worse. I feel like he puts it on a little bit. Like suddenly he'll like have a LISP. Yeah. Yeah. You drove an ex-scape, a Ford

Excape. Yeah. Escape. Escape. It's what, honestly, in 26, it's majority rules. I think whatever more people are saying. There's a lot of things people say wrong. I keep hearing simplistic online being used. Simplistic? That's a word. It is, but people don't use it for what it's supposed, what it means. The thing that still blows my mind is... What does it mean?

It means like stupid. Yeah. Simplistic. Simplicity. That's obvious. But not... People use it for simple. It's simplistic.

Oh. Okay. I guess. Yeah, sure. Seems you can Google this. I think it means like... Let's see how... Wow.

You brought up the whole how he talks, and I'm like, it's interesting how we're all talking. That's my... That's my... That's my take back, okay? Sorry about that. Okay. I feel like I stand by everything I said.

Other than like, I know I'm going to get some blowback about giving my child popcorn, but I'm telling you what, we're right there. The boy loves popcorn. Wake up! And we're at the movies, and I'm not going to not give him some popcorn.

I'm sorry about it. I'm going to challenge that popcorn is that bad. So simplistic means not complicated. Yeah. Simple. But like... But I didn't know that that meant stupid. I thought it meant like...

Well, I feel like an old way of saying someone had a disability was calling them simple. But that's like an old term. All right. Okay. And that's another episode of... We really know how to end them. This is important.

That shit's important. And I'm feeling... Oh, we're going to Ontario. We'll be at Great Falls, Ontario. Falls View, Ontario. Oh, baby. Is this our first show in Canada? Yeah, this is our first Canadian show on Ontario, Canada.

I do like that you don't know. Are we doing an official thing right now? Yeah. Oh, no, this show's over. Bye. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook.

week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicists for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stillard, and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B.

I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks pride and prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to pro society on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your friends.

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