This Is Important - Ep 38: Aliens. UFOs. Randy Quaid.

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

Today, this is what's important:Prison rodeos, Blake's stray cat Jessica, Adam's bird problems, UFOs, celebrities doing porn, true crime, peeing, and more. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about

what's the most important bottom line critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This Is Important, I thought this cat smoked weed. We're gonna lay this guy down and fuck him. Ripping piss out of their hogs. Straight up, I just pooped my pants, y'all. Buckle up. We're back. Hey, Dersi. Where's my snare? Yeah. What was that now? I have no snare in my headphones. So before we started, Blake was playing us some new cuts from the sound board and I was like, where are you going to use the where's my snare? Where does that come in? And he said, you'll see. Right up top. Where's my snare? Now I'm going to use it the whole entire time. Where's my snare? Admittedly, Eminem sounds like when you gist your Eminem's voice and he's

not rapping or, you know, doing or in a song, he sounds like a bitch. You know, it's like, where's my snare? I have no snare in my headphones. He's beefered. I have no snare. I have no snare in my headphones. He sounds like that to you. You sound a little bit more vulnerable than Eminem sounds in that clip. I have a snare and I want one. Did Adam do that? I thought that was just the sound board again. See, that's how good of an impressionist I am. Listen, see, that's Adam. Adam's the one that's like whining. Now there's an M. Where's my snare? Bro, that's basically says give me my snare. Okay, now Adam go. Where's my snare? No, Adam go. That would be a really cool way for a rap song to start. Just a rapper throwing a fit to the sound technician. Just I

am supposed to have a snare right there. Turn it out. Why isn't there water in here? Okay, go. First of all, there's no snare. There's no snare in my headphones. And like the cushion on the ear is like kind of chafing. Okay, drop the beat. I'm saying is it's still, it's still soggy from when Busta was in here. It's still soggy. So I need to do a little net thing in the front. Just a wet nap. This thing is super funky. It's stinky. It's foul. Who used this? Where's my snare? It just smells. No, it's fine. It's fine. It just smells a little weird. That's it. It's just a smell. I can't rap with the smell. It's a smell and then just a wet nap. I bet there are outtakes. You know what I mean? Like whether it's not on the album, but for sure

somebody has been recording when someone's like, does anyone have like a sucretes or like a lozens of some sort? Yeah, yeah. Can I get a hot tea? Yeah, straight up. I just pooped my pants, y'all. Y'all motherfuckers. Y'all, can I get some Earl Gray in this bitch for real though? I'm feeling a little scratchy. Local honey. Who let that guy in here? I'm trying to rap and this man is in here. I have no snare in my headphone. Yeah, can I get some Earl Gray in this bitch? Yeah, somebody get him the tea and get him out of here. I've got hot bars. It's just the janitor right before. That's the rapper. Right. Get him out of here. I'm ready to spit. But then that's how they found Ja Rule. He was just sweeping and he was like, yo, can I get some Earl Gray in this

bitch? It was Ja Rule hunting. That's hell of a time. Yeah, he's like, this is great. Jay DeKis was in here right before this and threw up all over the booth and I had to mop that shit up for days. And they're like, wait, come on. What'd you say? I said, I said mop that shit up. Whoa. Okay. All right. We like that. Mop that shit up. Mop that shit up. Okay. All right. Mop that shit up. I do want to hear like Busta Rhymes just explaining his IBS to somebody who's never heard of it before. It's like, it's irritable bowel syndrome. Basically like I just shit my pants at any moment. And it's a real thing. Everyone's like, jam. Jet. Jet. Right. Okay, Busta, we're about to play the beat. Okay, just put your hands where my eyes can see. I can't. I'm holding the dookie in. I think

you're leaning on the button. Put your hands where my eyes can see because you're hitting something in there. Wait, that's good. Give me some mo. Now give me some mo. That's good. That's good. Okay. Where's my snare? That's dangerous. Okay. I had a drum set in here and I think somebody moved the snare. Where's my snare? And then Busta's like, yo, let me get flip mode in here. And everyone's like, nah, we're good. Just you. Just you, Busta. All flip mode? Yeah. Can I get all the flip mode in here? And the producer's like, nah, Busta, just you. Okay. Well, then pass the Kovace. It's time to wrap. Wait, that's good. Is anyone else in flip mode? That's a great question. Because Busta's always calling out flip mode as if that's a whole crew. He was in flip mode. And I

know it is. I know it's like all of his homies that he's trying to bring up. And I'm here for that. And I appreciate that. But the flip mode squad. Who's in flip mode squad? I don't know. Was Obi Trice in flip mode? Real name, no gimmicks. I want to say he was more of a, he was more of like a D12 affiliate, was he? I could completely be on there. Maybe you're right. Him and Floyd Banks. You could always at least name one other person in another one of those squads. Right. You know what I mean? I think you're thinking of Lloyd Banks from GUnit. Yeah, who was Floyd? No, no, no, no, no. This is Floyd Banks. He kicks it with Todd Bergeron on the weekends. Where's my snare? They are homies. He was Floyd Banks. Lloyd's brother. Well, to be fair, it's hard to come up in a squad and make a

name for yourself. I mean, think of Nellie. What was Nellie's crew called? Oh, St. Lunatics. St. Lunatics, Murphy Lee. He got through. He had the Air Force One's hit for like that was the best. Who had half the face to do with the mask? Phantom of the Opera. Oh, yeah, yeah. Who was that guy? That might have been Floyd Banks. Well, that might have been Murphy Lee. That might have been Murphy Lee. Murphy Lee had a half face? Really? Somebody did. I think that might have been Floyd. I don't know what Murphy Lee looks like. I refuse to Google. Oh, okay. It'd be cool to go down the crew list and see how many, like how many no limit soldiers can you name off top. Yeah, yeah. That was the joke, though. There were no limit soldiers. We're all no limit soldiers. Hey,

Adam, do you know, remember when we were doing, when we were living together and we watched something on sci-fi and there was a weird Busta Rhyme sci-fi commercial and it was just like him floating in space and he was like, flip mode is the squad. Watch Science Channel. Do you remember this? Good cross promotion. I don't. I'm sure, I'm sure we were wildly stoned when we saw that. Right. Well, yes, 100%. It made us want to watch Science Channel, but, but let's cut to that video right now. My favorite channel, Science Channel. I want to dig that up. Hey, y'all, this is Silk the Shocker and you are watching HGTV. Let's give Silk the Shocker some love real quick. Like, talk about signing somebody who you're like, okay, nobody sounds like this at all. This could either

be a fucking tragedy or he could be a game changer. Well, he is Master P's younger brother, I believe. Right. Well, that's the Shocker. That's the you are not the father. And they were like, hey, get ready for the Shocker. He's his nephew. Oh my God. I met Sea Murderer in prison once. Holy Toledo. That's all. You were in prison? That's it. What? That's it. And I'm out. Where's my snare? You guys remember my stint in Chino Hills? Flip mode is the squad. No, I. Science rules. What I was shooting the Pitch Perfect movies. It was in Baton Rouge and there's this thing. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. There was like, someone asked me, do you want to go to the rodeo? What was that? And I was like, okay. And so there was like a party bus. We all got on it. I thought

it was a rodeo. Oh, the jail, the prison rodeo? Yeah, the prison and go to the state prison rodeo. And we go there. So cool. It's it's awesome. And it's it is cool. It's also absolutely insane. Because it's a rodeo at the prison. There's a full on rodeo at the prison that if you're like good behavior, you get to be in the rodeo risk your life risk your life. Like they do the craziest shit. It's like the running man. Yeah, they they they tape like a poker chip to a bull's forehead. And you get to like whoever grabs the poker chip off this bull's forehead, like wins a prize or something. And they're all prisoners. Right. And there's they're also like playing cards. And they sit there. And the last one to move wins. There's all kinds of crazy crazy. We're like,

you just sit there holding cards and the bull circles you got. Oh my god. Yeah. Oh, hell. And they're prisoners. So we were like, last one to get up when we were like, Oh, this is kind of this is insane. I feel weird for watching this. But also we're pretty drunk. So like, this is also kind of cool. But afterwards, there was like this art fair that all the prisoners that were on good behavior, they make their art that they made all year. And then they sell them at the art fair. And it's really cool. I got a weird painting. I think wall still has it. But I I'm walking through and I'm like, Oh my god, I think that dude is sea murder. Somehow in the deep part of the back brain, I was able to remember what sea murder looks like.

Yeah, sure. Like, wait, my true tank dog senses are tingling. We've got a no limit soldier. And then I saw a little boozy. And I knew what little boozy looked like. And I'm like, Oh, fuck, that's sea murder. And he was talking to some girls and I'm just drunkenly interrupt him probably the first time he's talked with women for a solid year since the last rodeo. Right. And I was like, I just want to say I'm a fan man, see murder. And he's like, Oh, he's like, okay, cool, man. And he sticks three fingers through the fence. Because he's through on the other side, he's not out for good behavior, like other prisoners are milling around with the people selling their arts. And he sticks his three fingers through the fence. And I just jiggled his fingers.

Sure. Definitely got that visual. And that was how I met sea murder, man. Give him a three finger handshake. Can we look up if he's still incarcerated? Is he out? I believe he is. I don't think sea murder is free. I think he's, I think he was there for murder, murder. Yeah. Yeah, he lived up to the hype. That was the case that they gave him. But wait, with the with the whole sitting at the poker table, last man standing wins money. Does the money go to you or to your family? Like, I don't know prison system laws or I would assume it goes so you can get like some extra ciggies and some orange juices at the concession or whatever you go trade. It's a little it's a little like Roman fucking gladiator style. Yeah, is the public coming into the jail? Is the public coming

in to the jail for this? They have a full on rodeo setup where we come in there. They're like Roman gladiators, and they come through and they enter the the pit, the mud, the, you know, the rodeo zone. And then we're all up in the stands rodeo. And and then there's stands around it. It's a full on thing. They do it every year to big event. Yeah. And I saw it on real sports, I think. That's right. Yeah, that sounds like a like of strange, awesome, crazy event. I would love to watch something on that. Yeah. Hey, we just got a little factoid thrown into the chat. Guess how old without looking sea murder is? I just saw it. We all looked. So go ahead and give your best guess. My best guess if I had to guess after knowing what it is would be 49 years old.

I was going to say 49. Yeah. If I was going to guess after seeing it, it would have been 49. Yeah, especially after I saw it. I had the shocker. Yeah, so the shockers 40. So yeah, I'd say 49. And Masterpiece 45. This episode's about guessing rappers ages. The oldest rapper. Kim Kardashian West advocates for rapper C murders released from prison. Yeah, producer producer Anna. Sure. Hell yeah. Judge Kim. Hey, without reading anything about it. Same. Yeah. Yeah. Trust her. Yeah. Without having any knowledge of it. The man said, that's cool. When I said good to meet him, and then stuck three fingers through a fence and allowed me to jiggle his fingers. So yeah, he should be released without a doubt. It ain't

my fault. It ain't my fault. Come on. I kept whispering that. Did I do that? Take a sip? Yeah, so that weird event. That's the truth. Louisiana is a weird place, man. It really is. A real throwback. I truly love that state, but there's some weird shit that happens there. Also, what was really cool about that is because you were there to shoot Pitch Perfect, and I'm like, I'm gonna go and visit my boy because I like to visit my boys on set. Yeah, you do. And I love that for you. Yes, I love that too. I was imagining it to be kind of like, you know, a Pitch Perfect atmosphere. Maybe everybody's like... Everyone's... Nice dinners. Oh no, it was debauchers. But it was a tarot down. It was Louisiana.

That was the drunkest I've ever been. It was so bad that at the end of the shooting, the first movie, my piss was turning colors. It was like a darker... It was like coming out like a brownish, and I'm like, okay. Wow. Yeah, that's not good. I feel that. I'm like, okay, the liver is starting to fail. Time to pump the brakes here. Like in Ghostbusters 2, where she turns on the bathtub and it's just water, but then after a second, it's like pink sludge just coming out. That shit's gnarly. It wasn't so much pink sludge. It was definitely... So not like Ghostbusters 2. It wasn't exactly like Ghostbusters 2.

Then I don't know what you're talking about. Durs brings everything back into Ghostbusters 2. It wasn't Gack coming out of his dick. No! Like if you turn on a faucet that hasn't been turned on forever and the water comes out, kind of weird color for a minute until the fresh water cycles through. Did that happen in Ghostbusters? It's like, Durs, it's like what the water probably looked like when they did like the first take of that shot. In Ghostbusters 2.

In Ghostbusters 2. If you could imagine that. Oh, in the deleted scenes. It's from the deleted scenes. Like when they did take one and they turned it on, it was like brown, then water, and then the pink stuff. So that's what Adam's talking about. Thank you. Everything needs to relate back to Ghostbusters 2 for Dursi to understand. I will say that a good indicator to me that I've been drinking too much is that my piss will kind of start to smell exactly like cat food. Exactly like cat food.

Cat food. Right, right. Or like Oscar's diaper from Ghostbusters 2. Right. See, that makes sense. Right. Okay, Durs. No, it smells like Whiskers cat food exactly like Whiskers cat food, and that's when I know there's a problem. Did you grow up with cats? I had a stray cat named Jessica that I adopted. You did?

Yeah. Can I pull out the deep dive card and make you talk more about your stray cat, Jessica? Yeah, so. You had that? Yeah, so you know how I used to do a paper out every morning when I was a youngster? That was the morning routine. 19 years old. There was this really cute like furry brown cat that would roll up every single morning like and watch me wrap the papers and I was like,

Watch me wrap. This cat is the nicest cat I've ever met. You're like, oh, I love this cat. But she had tons of dreadlocks, like tons of dreads in her hair, like straight up Bay Area, shake them dreads, dude. That's cool. So that cat probably smoked weed. That sounds like a cool cat. Down ass cat.

Definitely smoking grapes. But yeah, so I eventually like Hello. Decided one morning to kind of like help her out. Well, I started to feed her and then like cut the clumps out of her hair, and then she kind of just kept hanging around the house. Wait, what? You were giving a stray cat a haircut? Yeah, dude, she had big old like lumps, like huge dreadlocks in her hair.

Like lovely lady lumps? Check her out. Wait, the things that you just said that you liked, you cut out? No, I don't. You just said you liked them. No, I don't think she was super hype. She like she had a beautiful coat once you like cleaned her up a little bit. I thought this cat smoked weed.

Wait, hold on a minute. What's going on? The coat was so beautiful on the cat. Hang on. Okay. This was you just, you were like, I'm going to bring scissors for tomorrow. And I'm going to give this cat a haircut. How old were you when this was happening, Blake?

Uh, I'm in junior high, so whatever age that would be. That's like somewhere like 12, 13. Yeah, 12, 13, 14. You don't know what age that is? That's what, six. Whatever those things are, they go to those schools. Come on, you don't tell time, all right? Yeah, fair enough.

No, I do, well, I'm folding my papers on my porch, so it's not like the scissors are very far away. Yeah, it was definitely part of it. Like it wasn't like a, I'm bringing my scissors to this alleyway. She's coming to my front porch every morning to be like, yo, you're starting to paper out. And I'm like, yeah, what up? Right.

And when you have a paper route, you have scissors just to cut the bands off of it. Sure. So it's there. Sure. Okay, to Blake's credit, I am now visualizing this completely. I still don't understand why you cut them off when you said that that was the best part about this cat.

I don't think that animals like having, I don't know, maybe, but it seems like animals don't like having big old clumps of fur. Are you familiar with the Pooley or the Commodore dogs? I'm not. Is that how they naturally settle? Natural dreads. But I guess you're in charge and you would just shave those dogs bare. Hide your dogs.

Here comes Blake Anderson. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities.

Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception.

I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house.

He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can.

Signed freeway phantom. This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time.

Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to freeway phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Can I ask you guys a question? Yes, of course. So as you know, there's a cardinal that keeps shitting all over my car and keeps looking at itself in the rear view mirror, and then we'll hit itself in the mirror and then sit on the ledge of my car

and shit all down the front of it. And this has been going on now for a solid two plus months. And I bought a BB gun. It finally has come. And I'm getting a lot of blowback from people, my neighbors, you know, people on set, other cast members that are like absolutely do not fire. Are you firing? What do you mean?

You're firing. He's looking to kill the bird. He's hitting the bird with the, come on. I'm going to shoot. What do you mean? Am I firing? I mean, have you been firing? Your neighbors are mad or whatever.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You're just asking, is this okay? Kyle, you're all, yeah, you're usually two steps behind. I need you. I need you here with us right now. Well, fuck you, Kyle. No, I'm right here. I'm right here, bro.

Am I firing the BB gun? Yes, I'm firing the BB gun, obviously. Why else would I have a BB gun? I'm firing you. At the bird, motherfucker. At the bird, at the bird. So I haven't yet, but I just got the gun and I'm ready to murder this bird. And I'm totally fine with it.

Absolutely fucked birds. And specifically, fuck this cardinal. With this cardinal. You're a madman right now. You have no idea. Every day, I'm going to work sometimes at 4.30 in the morning. You're a fucking piece of shit. And you go out there and your car door, the handle's covered in shit.

My rear view mirrors. I can't look in my rear view mirrors because they're plucked out. Get a fucking birdhouse, bro. You're a piece of shit right now. Get a birdhouse and put it somewhere else. I want to see Kyle disassemble, he takes the gun, he disassembles it and turns it into a birdhouse and says, this is how you do, this is how you live your life.

This is insane. AK-40 birdhouse. The birdhouse has nothing to do with it. I've tried to put bird feed on the other side of the yard, thinking the birds will go over there. Poison. Poison bird feed. No, I got bird feed.

I put it on the other side of the yard. I'm ready to feed the birds over there. But he's not interested in bird feed. This guy's a vain motherfucker who just wants to look at his... I folded the mirrors in. He'll get right up in there and still poke at it. And making it hard for me to see. Now I'm going to have to probably pay extra the deposit

because I'm renting this truck. This bird needs to be murdered. That's my stance. That's why I'm at it right now. Wow. What do we feel about it? Please help me make this decision. You know where I'm standing.

I'm not into that. I don't think that you should be... I don't think that shitting on your car is grounds for capital punishment. Okay? I just don't. I don't believe that. Soft Northern California boys.

We're talking about a Midwest man here. Here's what I'll say. The one time that I have killed a bird was in Kyle's backyard in his mom's backyard. I shot it with a paintball gun and I immediately felt remorse for killing the bird. Okay. Yeah, but you guys don't go hunting

or do anything like that. Also, here's the most fucked up thing about that, what Blake did in my mom's backyard. My mom is a bird watcher. And she had bird houses all over the backyard and had just turned our backyard into a bird sanctuary where the birds are like protected. She did that and Blake grabbed the paintball gun,

fucking shot at this bird, broke the trust. I didn't think I'd hit it. I didn't think I'd hit it. You fucking got it. The bird fell from the tree. We were like, oh, shit, what just happened? Yeah. Well, grabbed a shovel and went over there

and picked it up, the little limp body. Mash it with the shovel a couple of times. Because you have to deal with it afterwards too. You got to pick up the limp body and throw it over somebody else's fence. Yeah, you feed it to a dog or something. Are you prepared to throw the dead body over somebody else's fence?

Absolutely. Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck. That was like a little finch or something. We're talking about a cardinal. This is a beautiful bird. This is a mascot of a team. This is a state bird. This is, you can't kill a cardinal.

Oh, why? Just because it's pretty? Cardinal rule. No, that's the cardinal rule. This is cardinal rule. I mean, Adam, I've wrestled with this shit before and like, because I want to kill, I would, I wanted to kill all of them. I want to kill my wife.

I wanted to kill all the rabbits. I just wrestled her instead. I wanted to kill all the rabbits that were eating my shit. I was ready to kill them. I for sure would have killed. I remember you telling the stories. I would have murdered those rabbits without a doubt.

That's good eating. Right now, you know what I have right now? I'm wrestling with is deer. I got deer that walk into my front yard and they're just eating all my shit. And I'm fucking heated. Are you out of your mind? That is a gift.

Well, I feel like you could shoot them with a, like a BB gun or a pellet gun. And that won't kill them, but they'll be like, oh, we can't come around here. I can't do that. I can't do that. I love Adams. Like you can throw a live chainsaw, Adam.

That always works. I did think about putting like, fucking like a soft tip on an arrow or get like a soft tip arrow and shoot him at him just to scare him. Finish him. Come on, man. That seems more insane

than just getting a little BB gun that's not going to do anything to a giant. Yeah, wait. So maybe I feel like Kyle might be projecting because you're talking about killing Cardinal. And he's over here saying he's exploding arrow tipping deer in his front yard. Exploding.

I said a soft tip arrow player. What is that? You said small grenade arrow. I'm saying I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it so it doesn't stick in when it hits him. It just thunks off.

You're going to die. Oh, that's really going to work. That's really going to work, Kyle. Kyle's going to be like, hey, honey, I made this. Check it out. Watch me kill this. I've said I've been wrestling with this. Dead.

I go hunting with family and friends once a year. My dad, some of his friends, me, some of my friends, we go a pheasant hunting half or 18 years now. This will, if we can do it this year, this will be your 18th year going together. And it's awesome. And it's pheasant hunting and it's birds, so fuck them. But people eat these pheasant.

We take them, we clean them, and people eat them. And I'm for that. I'm not just about murdering animals. Like I'm not taking my BB gun. You're going to eat the cardinal? I'm all about that, too. I mean, hang on a second. Let's rewind a minute.

It sounded like you kind of were. I'm not just about taking this BB gun and just going around and shooting any bird. Out of the sky that I see or any animal that's just in the yard not doing anything. But if this cardinal is shitting all over my car every day, dude, and it's going to end up costing me money. So I'm going to money.

My night. So I think I'm going to murder this cardinal. Look, you are allowed to murder the cardinal for my night if you eat it. You've got to eat the cardinal. You eat the cardinal. You can kill it. And that's the deal.

That's the deal. That could be cool. That's what I was going to say. I'll feed it to a dog or something. I'm not going to eat a cardinal. You have to at least eat a wing. They're not large enough to. There's no meat on it.

Wait. So what was your argument about pheasants then? What was that? Do you were like, I do this because we eat it? And now you're like, I do this because it's going to cost me money. Money. What are you talking about?

I'm just saying I'm not. I'm not a pro. I'm not all about murdering every animal that I see. I'm not a psychopath. I'm not just walking around with a gun trying to kill a small animal. But now you are. Yeah. Now you're strapped.

Now you are walking around in your backyard with a. Where's my snare? It's in my driveway and I'm sniping it from my kitchen. I think you can shoot it. You can you can shoot at rats. I think you can shoot at rats. I think you can shoot at fucking that. Cardinals are red flying rats.

Yeah, exactly. They're just red flying rats. They're all the same. That's pigeons. I think you can shoot at rats. Pigeons are beautiful. They're doves. So it's weird that you guys are like making this animal just

because it's pretty. You're making it better than than rats. It's a state bird. It's not rowing. Hey, Blake, why don't you fly out there, shave it, feed it, and make it your own? Bring your sisters. Well, why don't you fly about it?

So, Ders, where do you stand? Where do you stand on this? Here's my take. Here's my take. The more I keep thinking of like other solutions that have like other moving parts, I was going to go. Hey, why don't you put one of those like little spiky strips on top of the mirror so it doesn't land there smart.

Yeah, it is smart. It also is way too much time and not as fun as fucking getting a BB gun and just killing the fucking bird. And then it's over. It's done with. You can bury it might not even kill it. It might just tag it and go, you know what? I got to get out of here.

What if it looks right back at you and just goes, okay, you're going to hurt the bird. And if you don't hurt the bird, you're going to fucking hurt your fucking truck, dude. I guarantee you're going to shoot at that bird. It's just out of the mirror. It's an airsoft gun. Yeah, it's going to cost you so much more money.

It's an airsoft gun. Just like those those like plastic. Yes, plastic. Yeah, that ain't going to do shit. Yeah. It's strong. It is strong. I mean, admittedly.

Might as well hit it with a Nerf gun. Why don't you get a fucking get a Nerf gun? My vote is green light. If you eat it, if you don't eat it, you don't get to kill it. Well, he's not going to kill it. That gun can't kill it unless it shoots it like in the eyeball and it goes through and out the other eye. But well, no, then it's going to be blind.

Yeah. And that's even worse. But then it won't be able to land on the car unless it can smell the mirror. See, this is what I hope. This is what I hope. I hope I tag it. It's not murdered.

And it goes back to its friends and it's like, yo, dude, you know how we've been shitting all over that truck for the past two months? We cannot do that anymore. Wait, is it just one or are there others? I think it's just one. But it's there. It's only one at a time.

So I think it's just one. But if there is no because what if there's 10 and you end up killing 10 10 cardinals, you're gonna. Right. You're going to go to jail. Yeah. Well, then I do. Then I murdered 10 cardinal.

I'm in South Carolina, dude. They don't give a fuck about killing cardinals down here. They don't care about cardinals. Right. The St. Lunatics are going to care. All right. There you go. This is this is a very much pro hunting environment down here.

They absolutely don't care. As soon as I were to telecop, yo, it's shitting on my truck. He'll go like, absolutely. Yeah, you should definitely kill it without a doubt. As soon as you telecop, I was like, what is like phoning up? What is a telecop? As soon as I telecop like it's like that cool WB flip shirt.

Warner brother, that shirt was so sick, dude. If you see a cop. Telebrother. What? Never mind. I'll, I'll, I'll. Warner brother. I'll put it on the Instagram.

Yeah. All righty there. We're cutting to that now. I have no snare on my headphones. We're back. You just saw the thing Blake talked about. I don't give a fuck. It's a famous flip.

Well, Adam, you know, I hope if you do shoot, you shoot to kill. And that's what I'll say. Okay. Very good. Thank you. Yeah. What the fuck do you care? I do like how he's like, don't shoot it unless you just

fucking murder it. No, I just wanted to hear what that sounded like coming out of my mouth. I don't like it. I didn't, it didn't feel good. I tried it. I tried to be like one of the big boys. Can't do it. I care too much.

You're a big boy. See, don't put that on. Don't, don't make that what men are. Okay. That's what you said. Me? You said soft ass California, soft ass Northern California. We are the real men, men down here.

So I'm just going with you. No, I said soft. I didn't say male or female. Look, if it wasn't in Ghostbusters 2, I didn't say it. You said it. Roll the tape back. All right. This is important.

I like this. Hey, okay. All right, guys. There is a thing that I want to talk to you guys about. And I would say it's, you know, it's kind of a hot button issue, but I really want your opinion. Are you going to rock the boat right now? Am I rock the boat?

No. I'm getting a little seasick. Can we guess the topic? Can we guess the topic? Sure, sure. Give it a shot. And overboard. Give it a shot.

Give it a shot. You mean the drama? I mean, I'm feeling a little seasick. Yeah, we're rocked. Okay. I've got a big fucking boner right now. That's not it. Oh, these are drops.

These are the best. These aren't even drops. You're just playing the CD from back in the day. Hey, what is up with this fucking back burner ass UFO rollout that's going on right now? I'm like truly like, I know it's like, sort of a hot button issue. Do you guys want to see the backpack I got from high school?

I found it online. We don't have to talk about the UFO. Wait, what's the thing, man? What are you talking about? Yeah, explain to me what's going on. I hear what you're saying, but are you wondering if it's real? Are you wondering if it's like?

No, official government issued statements are coming out that like motherfucking UFOs are very real. Like not only real. Yeah, no shit. And what does UFO stand for? Unidentified flying object. Right. It doesn't stand for like fucking something from space.

They just don't know what it was. But the footage they have, the flight patterns, the things they do. The flight patterns. Are you talking about where it's like up and down and bobbin? And it looks like somebody's moving a mouse almost. And it's like, how is it? There's like a very specific one that like they released recently

where the dude, like it dips under the water. Just the way it moves is, is unexplainable. And they're like, oh, yeah. We saw this like every day for three months over the Atlantic Ocean. Right. And like people coming out of the woodworks, like official ass people, like this happens a lot.

We have no idea what the hell it is. Well, for sure. I mean, yeah, there's aliens out there. For sure. And if it's not aliens. What are they setting us up for? If it's not aliens. And it's like the Russians or China.

We should be fucking. Always the Russians. We should just be absolutely terrified that they have this technology that is light years ahead of anything that our regular ass combustion engines can handle going straight and up and down. That's all we can fucking do.

Well, that's what I'm wondering. We should hope that it's just aliens just checking us out going, look at these fucking Neanderthals. And about in about 10,000 years, they might be able to figure out what we what we're doing. Letro zips up. You would rather it be something from another planet or universe than it be the Russians with some technology

that we don't have. I would rather it be another. Yeah, a totally different planet, just a just a different an alien from somewhere else that comes is checking us out and is going, OK, bye, bitch. In English. Well, there's too many encounters over the years that to deny that the aliens are out there.

I'm not denying. That's what I'm saying. But if they're here, I'm with you, Adam. I'm totally with you. I'm not thinking that it's another human. I'm just saying, I hope we're just not annoying them. I hope we're not the Cardinals shitting on their truck. You know what I mean?

That's what I do. You don't want to get killed is what you're saying? Yeah, I don't want. I don't want him to fucking shoot us. It's science. Interesting. Carmels a bit. I just think it's weird that it's fine.

I think it's weird because personally, like to have it like being like news that's out and coming. I'm like, I'm not a conspiracy guy, but I'm like, what are they like prepping us for? Because why are they dropping it now? Wait a second. What you just, you go, I'm not a conspiracy guy, but what are they prepping us for?

That's a conspiracy. 100% of this. Is the world round? What are they? First of all, I have to ask you. I'm not a conspiracy guy because I'm not thinking about it at all. I have to ask you, Blake, who are they in that scenario? Illuminati.

You're obsessed with these others. Who are they? Who the fuck are they? This guy drinks adrenal glands. Well, that's what I'm wondering. Like, is this world news? Because to me, it seems like it's just kind of this U.S. drop as far as I know. I'm not going on Reddit.

Hell, no, I'm not going on Reddit. If you want to know if it's global, go to Reddit. Too confusing. No, no, no. Too confusing. Yeah. Hey, so, but like, what do you care? So what's your takeaway?

Okay. Well, first, they're either preparing us for some like, some strange fucking epiphany. He's so nervous right now. So you think this is like the scene from signs with my guy? No, no, no, no. I'm saying they're, they're, they're preparing us for some weird, some weird like earth epiphany.

To send for the others. Where they're like, oh, Russia has weird shit that can blow us up. Or it's going to completely change our universe. Or do you think the goo's going to come out of the subway system, like in Ghostbusters 2? I'm saying all of a sudden, lately, my piss smells like cat food. And I haven't been drinking that much. I mean, I do hear you Blake, there is an easy way to manipulate images

to put an object fuzzy out there that moves like that. But it is the fact that the US government is releasing this stuff and is saying like, this is real. Yes. Yes. But that video will get clicks. That video is going to get clicks. That video is going to get people talking about it.

So there is always the possibility that they need clicks and stories and all that. There is always that. The US government? Look, no. The media, the media that's putting up there. I'm not trying to walk into that. But it's not. It's the US government that is releasing information that is saying this is real.

Yes. Here's my question. They don't need clicks? Here's my question. No. Right. Why, why, and of course, there's the flip side to this where it's like, exactly. But why isn't this the number one new story on every channel every fucking night then?

Like if I, because there's other shit. Yeah, that's that is the weird part. That's what I'm saying. Until somebody like goes. So everything we know changed the other day because UFOs are here and like if no one's making a big deal out of it, which to me isn't an exactly. Why aren't they? It's a because people are like, there's nothing.

There's no there there. Well, it's because humans just in our very nature are self-indulgent. We're not worried about it because it hasn't landed. It hasn't crashed into New York City. Right. You know, we don't have it. So it's just like a video and we're like, oh, okay. They're not bothering us.

So let's worry about the stock market. You know what I mean? Look, I ain't scared of you motherfuckers. But I agree and I disagree because it's like, why hasn't this been like the biggest viral video? Why do I know Charlie bit my finger? But I don't know this thing. Charlie bit me.

That's really funny. Why do I know that? What's weird is that was not really good. Why do I know it? You know what? And you've brought me back to earth. Hello. And this is what's up.

This is exactly why I want to talk to you guys. Because even if you remember Adam, Ders, when we were in the Bahamas, they dropped some shit like this where they're like, there was something that definitely didn't come from earth. And Ders was like, oh, that just means they made it on the like a satellite base. And I'm like, OK, yeah, that adds up. That adds up. Didn't you say that, Ders?

What? What is this now? I guess you can justify anything either way, right? Like we don't know. For sure. They're unidentified. They're flying and they're objects. They're unidentified.

That's the key. We do not know what the fuck they are. So anything other than that is speculation. There's something. Yeah. But do you care? Do you really care, though? Well, I love angels and airwaves and Tom DeLonge.

So yeah, I care, man. Well, he was on his shit years ago. Yeah, he was ahead of it for sure. It's just weird. It seems like we've got some big issues if it is the case. Well, the good thing about aliens coming is it'll unite us as a people. It won't.

You know what I mean? Nothing to do with it. The Watchmen, really? Yeah, because you bring an outside force in and then everybody's like, hey, man, you're cool. We should not alien. Yeah, exactly. We squash all of our people.

They're like, they crashed into the fucking pyramids? Hey, those are our pyramids, too, man. High five, earthlings. This is our planet. And then Randy Quaid's like, remember me. And he flies into it. I can't wait till we do that. Did you guys, I think that might be a moment

where I almost cried in the movie. What's about that? Oh, hell yeah, dude. He sacrificed himself. Right. Randy motherfucking Quaid, don't you? Yeah, he really did. I was like, are these his kids in the movie?

That's his best performance. His best performance is his real life, if you just watch Randy Quaid's videos. That doesn't count. I'm trying to put a little. That doesn't count? Oh, that doesn't count. You want to talk to the U.F. first?

What does? Didn't he throw his hat in the ring for a California governor? Yeah, probably. What's Randy Quaid's deal? I know. I mean, I just kind of know he went a little bad shit, but. He's on the run for some tax shit, I think.

Right. And had a gnarly porno. And he had a porno. Right. It was like a political porno. He was like fucking his, either him or his wife had like a mask on. They were fucking, it was, wasn't it political mask?

Wasn't it like a president? Yeah, I think so. Oh, so it was a bit. It was a bit. Was this a tape that leaked? Or was this like, hey, we're at home. We're a freaky-ass couple. We're making our own pornos.

And then it was somehow leaked out? Or did they come out and were like, hey, guess what? Now we're porn stars. Because that's what I'm waiting for. I think it was part two. I think it was part two. I think it was kind of like, and we're putting this out there.

That's cool. I think he thought it was funny. And I don't disagree. Whoa. Yeah, that's rad. I'm ready for like, when is there going to be like an A-list? Because now, you know, everybody is like with sex workers. Everyone's like pro-sex workers now and all that.

So I'm ready for like an A-list star to just be like, and I'm also a porn. Natalie Portman is just like, and I'm a porn star now as well as a great actress. Like a working porn star. Somebody to take the whole like, I had a p-tape. I had a p-tape out there and now I'm famous, but I don't do porno anymore.

No, no, no, no. You want somebody. No, I'm saying an A-list actress or actress. Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep or Daniel Day-Lewis or Michael Douglas. Some just like somehow. Oh, to embrace the art. Yeah.

Who's just like a pro sex workers. And it's just like, and I'm also, I have my own page on Pornhub. Check me out. I'm making tasteful hardcore porno. Who is that going to be? Right. Tasteful.

Why'd you say tasteful? I'm sorry, mom. Because it has to be artful, you know, because they're like, they're also winning Academy Awards and stuff. Like that porno pirates, like, remember the most expensive porno of all time? Yeah, the million dollar porno.

It was a heavy budget, man. Jesse Jane came to see my show in Oklahoma City. Jesse Jane, the star of Pirates. So are you in Pirates too? I would love to be. Maybe I'm that actor. Adam, yeah, you're the guy. It wouldn't have the same ring to it.

People would be like, yeah, all right, I could see that. It would for me, brother. You have a porno name for sure, Adam. Yeah. Yeah. I could see that. Adam Devine in Pirates too. What do you mean you could see that?

You're like, yeah, kind of, I guess. Well, I don't know any. It is. You have Devine? Yeah, I guess there's another. There's some porn actress with the last name Devine. I bet if you type in Devine into Pornhub, there's more than three porno actors

with the last name Devine or first name. And then strippers. There's one at every club. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. Wait, fuck. Where were we?

We could be for aliens. We could talk about porno. We could talk about A-listers. We were talking about Adam. Oh, the crossing over the porno. I mean, like, but it's all about money. So an A-lister, you know, would they want, would they need to do that?

I do remember, and this isn't porno, but like Holly Berry when she did that movie where she showed her titties. They're saying Ghostbusters. Yeah. What about Joaquin Phoenix? Hold on, hold on, hold on. He was about to talk about Holly Berry.

All right. Sorry, sorry. I got to walk. Like Holly Berry had like never shown her body before. And then for that like Hugh Jackman hacker movie. Right. She showed. It was called Swordfish.

Swordfish. Thank you. That changed the game. This is important. She showed her Tadas and she was joking on some talk show that she like got paid $2 million more, a million for each Tada. That is.

And I'm like, OK, well, so that's close to acknowledging that you're doing it for the money. Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that's A-list. Yeah. Bella Thorne is on what's it called, right?

Raking it in. Right. Yeah. She hit me up and said that she'd like to be on this podcast. Bella Thorne did. Oh, yeah? Oh, OK.

We don't have guests. We don't have guests, but sorry. But we will talk about her. We will talk about her. We'll give you a men's chat. Yeah, we'll men's. I like that. We're not afraid to men's.

We'll men's. What about Joaquin when he sniffed that dude's or that girl's ass in the movie? Remember he was like he bit, he bit her ass in the documentary, the Casey Affleck doc where he was like, yeah. I think that was a problem. Remember that he was like doing cocaine and he had strippers in the studio?

When he became a rapper, he put gum under Letterman's desk and he made that crazy like. Yeah, it's called I'm Still Here. Mm-hmm. Right. And that was called? Yeah. What is it?

Brown Bunny, Chloe Savignier. Yeah. Did a little oral. Yep. But we're talking, I think Adam and I, I don't want to speak for you, but we're talking. Please, I would love it if you spoke for me. We want an A-lister to do hardcore porno.

Right. I'm just saying when is it going to happen? It's going to happen. We're walking down the road. Yes, because if Jake Paul can box, it's going to lead to Leo DiCaprio doing porno. Yeah. No, no, but Jake Paul is doing this.

Like this is his biggest thing, right? This is. Sure, sure, sure. This is different, but like, obviously, Kim Kardashian was first mostly famous from that tape, right? And now she's parlayed into something else. Jake Paul's like, well, let me fight these people and become more famous.

He's like, I'll be an evil guy for 10 years. And then after that, I'll be just a regular person, probably. That's my guess, maybe. What about when Kanye West designed the Pornhub Awards? Like, I know he did that. So tight. He did? Yeah, he was the set designer and the production designer

for the Pornhub Awards like three or four years ago. So tight. It was his idea for just the orange and black. He's like, yo, it's Halloween every day. Yeah. We all wear masks. I know he did that. That's like, because he doesn't necessarily need to go over

to Pornhub to do that. He's just doing that. You know what I mean? It's just like. Well, I mean, like, what's his name? Dustin Diamond. I mean, there have been not A-listers, but like. Yeah, China.

China, RIP. Yeah. Classic. It's usually when people have really fallen on hard times. Yeah. You know, it's like they've fallen and they need money or there's something else or they just miss being famous so much. They just need a boost.

Right. Something like that. Yeah. There's never been like a full-on Angelina Jolie just goes, and now what? Guess what? Here's my hardcore porno tape. Like that's never happened.

I think someone will do it as a state. Well, what's his name? Fuck. Somebody. Vin Diesel. No, no, no, the artist. Vin Diesel's porno tape. No, no, no, no, no.

Oh my god. Tyrese was. You guys go talk. I'm going to go think on this one. Tyrese was like on Insta Live, like shaving his girls. Really? Yeah. Wow, wow, wow.

He was. He was. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That dude does some wild shit on Insta Live, right? Right. Yeah, I think he's. He hairs out some laundry. Yeah, he's got some demons or something.

Wasn't he like crying on it? Yes. Yeah. Hold on. Circling back, is it Jeffrey Koons, right? Koons or whatever. Yeah, the artist? The artist.

Right. So back in the day, he either married or engaged or was dating this like famous porno star. And then he, I think I've talked about this on the podcast. He did this whole photo shoot of like full on porno with her, with his dick and everything. And I was in New York and went and saw the exhibit when my kid, my first kid was like. You brought your child? Well, 12 months old. He was like an infant and we were in New York.

One year. And we went into this other room and it was all of a sudden just like 10 by 10 foot full insertion close-ups. And he was like pointing like, whoa. And I'm like, I don't know if we should be in here. We should get him out of here. But then I'm like, he doesn't know what he's looking at. I'm sorry, mama.

But he did it. That's the, that's the, he was a famous artist at the peak of his powers and he just did porno. Also, I was just thinking about this. Who's to say that there's not one just doing the POV stuff and we don't know. You know what I mean? Oh, right. Like a little massed band. True.

They're going to drop a catalog on us. Right. I was filming it and then the reveal is coming. Yeah. It's just Jake Gyllenhaal wearing a ski mask. Just nightcrawler throwing it down. Allegedly. And Randy Quaid's porno, was he wearing a mask or was his wife wearing a mask?

I don't know. But if you're at home, feel free to pull it up and check it out. Send us DMs about who was wearing a mask. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences

by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception.

I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house.

He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me, because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel.

Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the creatives,

the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte the official podcast, Thursdays on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. We're back! Yeah, that's a great one. That one sounds so good. So is that a kid? You said it's like a high school kid at like a pep rally? No, it's college, it's Longhorn.

But still, it's like just some 20 year old dude that now has a place on our podcast type. He has a good voice too. We hear the voice. Making it lower, right? Like that's it. Okay. We're back!

Like that's him putting on the low man's voice. He's, yeah, he's throwing it down. It's clear though. He's like the quarterback or something. It's a big deal. It's a stadium. Yeah, his nuts have been dropped, dude. Right, right, right, right.

All right, good. Good to clarify, good. He's not waiting for that to drop. Those of, oh, he was, his nuts dropped in eighth grade and he's been throwing dimes since then. Dropping like Oscar in Ghostbusters too. We're back! I've got a big fucking boner right now.

That one is so violent. What? What is that one? What sketches that from? Blake loves these new ones. Yeah, it's just graphic. Graphic is different than violence. Just FYI.

No, that one's violent. It's not violent. That was graphic. That's from the Adam Sandler album. The, you know, when he did his audio sketches. I know that's the Sandman. What is the sketch? I got a big fucking, is it the goat?

It's called the buffoon. Oh, the buffoon. And he would go like, the buffoon goes on a date with the valovictorian or the buffoon meets the principal and it'll be Conan O'Brien. And he just said stuff like, I looked at my asshole in the mirror. It blew my fucking mind. Yes, it blew my fucking mind.

That shit kind of went off back in junior high. It kind of reminds me of the comic insult dog. Like, were they kicking it back in the day? Oh, yeah. Was there a little borrowing or maybe a little writing? They're buds. Well, he was a, he was an SNL writer. What's his name?

Robert Schmigel. I call him Bob. He was a writer on SNL. And then I think Dana Carby roped him up for the Dana Carby show. I just watched that documentary about the Dana Carby. Too funny to fail. Yeah.

So good. I've met him when I did The Big Slick, which is a charity benefit show that a bunch of the, no, Robert Schmigel. Okay. Super funny guy, super. I don't know if it's Schmigel. Yeah.

Schmigel? I think it's Schmigel. It's just Schmigel. It's Schmigel. Yeah. Anyway. Well, I was, I was calling him Schmigai the whole time, so he never corrected me.

I bet he likes that. That's nice. That's warm. I was like, what's up, Schmigai? And he's like, all right. He directed that movie that came out on Netflix with Rock. Knocking. I wonder how many times I, I give someone a nickname

and totally butcher their actual name. I think it takes you six months to like really know someone's name. And then, then you're good. Maybe like 85% of the time. Yeah. So 85% of the time, I just am butchering someone's name while giving them a nickname. Right.

Yeah. Whoopsies. Sorry about it. Yeah. Robert Schmigel directed that movie Father of the Year on Netflix with Chris Rock and Sandler. That is right. The one that came out.

Yeah. I liked that movie. Yeah. Yeah. He's a funny dude. I was cleaning out all my DVDs. Did you guys ever, what was it called? 30, was it called 30 Minutes or Less?

McBrides in it? Yeah, yeah. I never saw that. I'm gonna dust it off. Like, what is it a Z? It's a Z's, Swanson and McBride. And Jesse Eisenberg. It was kind of based on the actual guy,

who there is a documentary on, that's fucking unreal, where a dude gets a bomb strapped to him. Oh, right. And they were like, oh, that's funny. And then they made a comedy out of it. Wait, is it that thing that's on Netflix right now where there was like that, the guy had a bomb strapped to his neck and he had to go into the bank or whatever?

Yes. You should watch it because it's super fucking dope. There's like a lady who's like, I'm a fucking genius. And it turns out she's just like a master manipulator. And she worked with somebody to like put this collar on a dude's neck and he's like, it's gonna go off. And then they figure out who did it, yada, yada, yada. Okay.

Yeah, I never watched that doc, but it looked freaking cool. It's good. The woman who's like the mastermind is super fascinating. So that story spawned the... Like a funny comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a second. This guy exploded with laughter.

Kevin Hart is sea murder in prison rodeo. In three finger shape. Yeah, it gives you a three finger shake. Yeah, I'd watch it. Yeah, I'd watch it, man. I'd watch it. If it's on Netflix, I'll click on it. Dude, Netflix has so many of those weird...

Where it's like people on death row documentaries. I fall into those. They are just so scary and fascinating to me. Where it's just like people that are on death row and they're like admitting to their crimes. And it just like watching... Like studying those kind of people is so crazy to me. Just like to look in their eyes.

It's just like total madness. I don't even... Right. I don't know. Do you ever watch those like lifers? Yeah, when you actually watch like serial killers. Yeah. And like people who have no end like...

You know, they're total sociopaths. They're broken. Yeah. I mean, it's super interesting because you're like, what drives a person to do this stuff? And it's interesting. Ders has that look in his eyes sometimes. Yeah.

One time I was there. I was watching one of those and then 45 minutes later, I was like, that is a mirror. And... Oh, shit. I was like... Yes, points! Yeah, those people are just broken.

They don't... They're like beaten dog. That's the funniest reveal. Just like cut to use quietly looking at yourself in a mirror. I was... I had the remote and I was clicking. They're like, oh God, look at his eyes. I watched like three episodes of that death row murder show.

Honey, you got to watch this. Honey, get up here. Anders, you're looking in a mirror, sweetheart. Oh, I'm going to go get a slice of pie from the refrigerator. This guy's insane. I'm going to go for a drive. Just keep your phone on you. Turn on the tracking.

But it's the same thing about like how people are like pit bulls, aren't bad dogs. They're just given owners who want fucking fighting dogs or like ferocious dogs. Treat those dogs like shit because they want to be like mean and stuff. Like some of these people just have fucking either like a lot of shit or one thing that really fucked them over and they didn't have anywhere to go to get any answers

or like people to talk to. They had nobody to correct the path. Right. Or they were just swimming. They just kept swimming and they had no one to talk to at the bottom of the pool. And they got kicked off the team. And here they are. They didn't have any way to turn to. And they had two older brothers that kind of got all the attention from their parents

and their mom would whip them awake in the morning. Right. And feed them raw hamburger that might have been humans. Right. And before they go to sleep at night, they say sweet dreams to the possum at the foot of their bed that may or may not be there. It could just be a possum that's not even there. Connie, I got your raw meat. Wait, is that a story of yours?

Did you used to say good night to a possum that wasn't there? Yeah. Was this a reveal? No, I'm just saying something insane. Are you? He was making. Yeah. He was he made something up. We were calling back. I think that came real easy.

I feel like there's some weird story from your childhood where you just had a pet possum on me. Can I keep him? The closest thing to me having a ghost possum at the foot of my bed is I used to say like, what would you rather? Would you rather find a possum at the foot of your bed like under your covers or look down in the toilet and find a possum like in the water toilet?

Wait, why are you taking the shit though? Or are you? Yeah. Where are you sitting and peeing? We get by the way, we should get into that. You're sitting though. We should get into that. Oh, yeah. I got to start. I got to start.

What do you mean you got to start? I'm getting I'm I got to start sitting and peeing. I'm getting fucking railed for leaving the seat up. I'm so goddamn tired. I'm not like paying attention and I'm getting fucking railed. Well, for sure, you piss all over the seat. You know what I mean? You're a monster.

I'm messy too. Yeah, I know that about you. Yeah, I fucking spray all over. I hit the corners of the bathroom. Yeah, you're a real hoser. But do you leave the seat down when you piss though? No, no, I do not. But I just don't put it back.

I had a college roommate who did that and we had to like fucking shake him down. Beat his ass. Jump him. We had to have like a talk. We're like, we had to lay this guy down and fuck him. We had to fuck this guy. Yeah, I was like open wide.

Yo, homie, can we talk to you real quick? No, he would just piss on the seat. We thought it was water for a long time and then we realized we're like, wait, did you just not put the seat up? And he was like, oh no. And we were like, you've been doing this for months. Sorry.

I get it though. For months. But you're like, you know, when you don't put the seat, I have done that a lot in the past and it's like, I trust my aim. I'm a great aim. I'll be fine. But you're not though.

I'm sorry. So you do, you are that guy? No, I'm not that guy anymore. I'm just leaving it up now. I'm pulling it up and I'm leaving it up. So you have been that guy. When we used to share a bathroom, I remember multiple times when there would be piss on the seat

back in the day. For sure. Yeah, well, you know, I mean, I was the only one cleaning the bathroom, so I didn't think it really mattered. Oh, true shape. Points. I'm a man.

True, true, true. Seven years. Only one right here. Adam is like, fair enough? Fair enough, yeah. Never cleaned the bathroom once. Adam's not going to clean your piss. You know what I mean?

I cleaned his. I cleaned his. I don't do that. I sit, I have, and I have forever. I sit down and piss. When I'm at home, I sit down and piss 95% of the time. I'm into it now. Right, yeah.

Maybe more. Maybe it might be 99% of the time. I'm always sitting down and pissing. People have been like, oh, is that, isn't that like emasculating? Absolutely not. It's way more comfortable. I piss for a really long time.

I drink a lot of fluids. That is true. I have to sit down. You take short poops and long peas. Wow. I do take short poops and really long peas. I think the disconnect I have is like exposing my ass while peeing.

Like, I think that that's a problem. Keep going, please. Yeah, yeah. And what the fuck, you cat? What else? I just find it to be not like utilitarian. It's like, no, I have the hardware to just well set.

Basically unzip, stand up. Utilitarian. And no, and we all know what that means. And no one needs to explain it. Yeah. Well, you know, like it's like, why do I have to expose my ass and pull my pants all the way down to my ankles when all I really need to do

is drop them a couple inches? Because you're going to get on your phone for a minute. Yeah, because you're just going to look at your phone. Take a load off, Annie. I understand it's smarter. I get it's a little bit more intelligent, but this is the gripe I might have with it, all right? See, I don't do it when I'm out in public.

Well, not all the time, but usually public toilets are a little more disgusting. So you're like, I don't want to chill in there. Yeah, I would never. Oh, huh. I'd rather just take a piss in the urinal. And then go shoot birds. I'd rather just assassinate cardinals.

The urinal is gnarly, too, because that should splash his back like no other. Like, oh, you got to hit the little seashell, man. No matter what, you're getting a little missed. You're getting, you're getting a missed. You don't piss straight ahead and like wrap it around the corner, like in the corner. The best thing to do is back up about six feet.

If I wear shorts or sandals. Social distance. It just completely opens my eyes to how much I'm pissing all over my feet. Right. Every time I'm at a urinal. So much piss gets on my legs. Right.

It's inevitable. Here's a good question. And ladies at home who really don't spend time in a men's bathroom, you might be shocked by this, but guys, there's always at least some urine underneath a urinal. Every time. Every time, without a doubt.

I got the poo on me. And there's, there's always so many pubes in the urinal as well. Like how, how are you, how are you shedding this much? They're jumping. It gets cleaned every day. Here's my question. What is the acceptable amount, like square inch wise

of urine on the floor that you're like, God, that's gross. That's too much. Like the size of a hand. When I slip. If I slip, if I slip going in. That's bad. I'm, I'm a little worried. When you're barefoot and there's any amount.

Yeah, 100%. If it's bigger than a hand, I can't. I'm like, that's fucking nasty. But if it's like five drops, like five quarters on the floor, I'm like, yep. Five quarters? Like the size of five quarters, like drops. Okay, okay, okay.

Well, it is, it is amazing, like how much, I feel like we're so much more open now as a society. And like. Yes. Russians have ships that can go side to side. Yeah, right. For sure. Those are aliens.

And we have combustion engines. Yes. Definitely aliens. But like back in the day, there used to be, used to go to baseball games or basketball games or whatever. And there would just be a trough. Where you just all had to piss into a tub together. And there'd be like a grown man right across from you.

And this was when we were children. So you're just at dick height and there's just dicks on each side of you pissing. There's a man directly in front of you. Lots of pee, lots of smells. His dick is right in front of you. There's one resting on your shoulder. I've got a big fucking boner right now. Hopefully there was no boners.

Hopefully there was no boners. You have to arc your piss up into this tub or your dad has to hold you with your legs dangling as you pull out your little dick and just try to get it into what a nightmare situation. But also what a cool homie move to hold your boy up. Dude, that's my move. Boy dad. Hashtag boy dad.

I'm so good at just like holding that dude up and I like shake him. Like when he's done, I give a whole body shake to just get it out. Yeah, if the bachelor party's really good, we're going to be doing that to each other in the Ozarks. For sure. I hope that I get drunk enough that you guys hold me up and shake me to get the piss droplets off my dick. Hold up, at Wrigley Field in Chicago,

there's like a notorious fucking trough situation. But there's also these circular like hand washing stations. Yeah, like in a wood shop. Yes, and maybe I've talked about this before, but without a doubt, when you go to Wrigley Field, you will see a little kid walk up to the circle hand washing thing and start peeing into it and everyone is just washing their hands. It's a circle.

So you're like looking at the kid taking a piss and you're like, you got to go over there, young man. It is un fucking real. Yeah, it's a learning moment. It's a teaching moment. Another thing about the P next to you is that when you're a kid, you're like trying to like fucking just like it's just pee because you got stage fright.

These men have had like 424 ounce beers. So they're just ripping piss out of their hogs, right? Give me a hell yeah. And it's admittedly so much easier to piss after you've had a few beers. Oh yeah, you can't not. Even if it's not just the amount of fluid that's in you, it's just you don't care.

Your dick's out, you're pissing in front of other men. It's fine. You're all doing it. It's like the proton blaster from Ghostbusters 2. You can barely control it. Right. It's science. It's almost exactly like the proton blaster.

Don't cross the streams. Don't cross the streams. Cross the streams. Don't cross the streams. That's where you learn don't cross the streams. That's part one. Never seen it. That's part one.

Never seen it. Where's my snare? There's no snare in my headphones. Now I don't like that. Sir, are there any take backs, apologies, or giveaways? Well, I couldn't apologize for last week. I gave credit to Megan Thee Stallion for the best friend song. It's actually Saweetie and Doja Cat.

So sorry to the listeners. Doja Cat, right? Yeah, they hopped on me about that. Doja Cat. I do love me some Doja Cat. What a fun name that one is. Love that name. Doja Cat.

I'd like to compliment Adam on his Insta stories, or maybe it was your fiance's Insta stories, where you were just having a blast singing that song. Oh, yeah. That's my best friend. It's great. It's a great track. It brought a smile to my face, and thank you.

Thank you for that. Chloe whipped out the cam, caught that moment in time. Yeah, well, Blake, I think the song's been out for a while, and admittedly, I don't listen to a lot of anything besides Bush, Razorblade Suitcase. Bush, baby. By the way, Everclear is performing at a bar here in Charleston this weekend.

And you're in heaven. I'm not going to go. Yes, sir. You got to go. Are you going to go? You have to go. I have to go. I'm going to go.

Yes, sir. You got to get like a backstage pass and find out that dude's name. Ders, there isn't a stage. Yeah, it's at a bar. If there is a stage, it's like on a beach. It's on a beach. Yeah, it's a real show.

It's a back floor path. It's a back floor path. I have to see Art, whatever his last name is, and my boy, Greg Eklund. So yeah, I'm excited about that. And there are five songs that all sound the same, but they all rip, man. They do.

And it's three songs. Here's what I want you to ask. If you can sing a song with them, it would be really cool if they brought you up and you did a little duet. I am still dreaming of your goose. You could slay that. Hell yeah.

Well, at least. You can play that on the guitar, right? You should be against the. I know the beginning. I know that. Jing, Jing. Yeah. Jing, Jing, Jing, Jing, Jing, Jing, Jing.

You should be asking if you're going to rip the beginning of that. Yeah, play it. Play them in. That would be insane. And people just lose their fucking minds when they see me shred on the guitar. That would be insane.

Yeah. Okay, Adam, the riffs over. Okay, Adam, the riffs over. We got to get into the song. I'd be worried about doing that because it's like, what do you do after you've done that? Like in your life?

Yeah, like the career's over. I just have to retire. Oh, I thought, no, I thought he meant, what do you do on stage? No, I think it's what you do with your life. Your career is done because you peaked. You done peaked, boy. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess you just kind of, you do porno. Yeah, you then immediately segue into hardcore porno. That's not a bad idea. Not a bad idea. Be the first. From modern family to hardcore porno, baby. Modern cramley. What?

I guess, you know, I'd all apologize to Kyle this week, guys. What? What's up? What? Well, you know, you're coming up with solutions for Adam about not killing the bird, which I think is a good idea.

You don't want to just go around killing animals all the time. So yeah, I'm sorry I called you soft. You're a thoughtful man. You got a lot of love. I'm a man. Got a lot of love in there. I do. Lot of love in that big, big, big, big, big, big,

meaty heart. Do you love him? Got to lose some weight because that heart's working over time. Oh my God. There's cheeseburgers in the arteries. I'm still going to send him. I kind of want you to be my really, really,

really obese friend. I don't have like a super, super huge obese friend, and I want that for you. I think you'd have fun doing it. God damn it. Yeah. Yeah, it'd be hell of fun, dude. Fucking eat whatever and don't care.

Think of all the chips. Oh, the chippies you can eat. All the yummy chippies. Full of chips and bean and cheese burrito. I feel like if you just drink soda constantly, pack them all. That's what it is, right? That's always the thing.

Every like real big person I know, they chug a lot of soda. I have a cousin that's pretty large. He drinks a lot of two-liter sodas and that he just has around the crib. Well, like, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Over. Root beer. Dude, no more. So that's, if you, I'm going to send a bunch of two-liters to your house, Kyle. And if you could just. Oh dude, well, I did actually have a two-liter root beer

the other day. We should just start sending tons of food to Kyle's house. Yeah. I do have a two-liter root beer. I'm just like, I don't know, babe. This two-liter showed up. I'm just going to keep it out in the workshop. That's great.

Kyle's just busting liters of Fego. Fego on the regular. I'll just, another one showed up. I'll just keep it out in the workshop. So when I'm out there, I'll just, you know, that'll be what I drink. Yeah. I would love that for you.

That's daddy's time. You guys ever drink Swiss cream? I've heard of this. You know that one? No. Sounds foul. I'm going to send you some Swiss cream. Wait, what?

Don't want to make? It's just a cream soda. It's like a cream soda? Okay. But it's like crystal clear. It's not Pepsi. I love slurping down some Swiss cream. I like that.

Somebody's auditioning for his porno. I have no snare in my head. All right. I don't want to hear that one next week. All right. Well, all right. I don't want to hear that one next week. I have no takebacks or apologies.

You know, people I'm sure are going to be like, you should take back wanting to kill cardinals. I don't want to kill all cardinals. I want to kill the cardinals that are shitting on my truck. The 10. The 10 that visit your truck. Adam. And also, you don't have to take back wanting to kill something.

You're going to have to take it back when you do. No, I won't have to. I don't have to. I don't like Derv said the other in the other week. I don't have to do anything, motherfucker. Right. You will. I don't have to do anything.

You will. Fuck you. I won't do what you tell me. Wow. Hard cut out at the end of that one. Wow. Is that just at the very end of the song? Wow.

That was, that got real aggressive. That wasn't even the song. That was just some girl in her room. Oh, is that the brass against the machine, bro? Is that the brass version? I don't know. I don't think so. I think it's just a girl in her room.

Oh, I think. Yeah. Well, the girl sings this brass version of that song and it's off the fucking charts. Check out brass against the machine. It's dope. Awesome. And that was another episode of This is important.

Important. Who important? Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain

steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal Podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal.

Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets

in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.