This Is Important - Ep 66: Grandma Parties And Dad Fights

Episode Date: December 28, 2021

Today, this is what's important:Movie stunts, cologne, feet, workout equipment, Sex And The City, New Years Eve, grandmothers, who is dying first, fighting your dad, scenarios in which you would be okay killing someone, and more. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about what is

most obviously very crucially important. Today on This Is Important, evidently he bit a man's finger off. I was like, dude, I'm gonna put some cologne on my dick, bro. Oh, man, this guy was docking with his dad. Let's go. Red, leather, yellow, leather, red, leather, yellow, leather, a big brown bug, be a big brown bear. Aluminum, linoleum, aluminum, aluminum, aluminum, aluminum. What a to do to die today at a minute or two to two. A distinctly difficult thing to say, but harder still to do. And they'll be a tattoo and a rat at the two and a rat at the two and the dragon will come when he hears the drum at a minute or two to two today at a minute or two to two. You made that one up, dude. I've never heard that one. You made that one up. That was off the top

of the dome. Yeah, that's a freestyle, bro. Damn freestyle. Let's go. Drama exercises. Let's go. You know what it is? Drama theater major. So you were a theater major, right, Blakey? I was at the end of major. Yeah, I'm good with addiction. Fucking things. It just worked out. I just worked it out, dude. I know. I'm at the tail end of a long day. Lots of stunts happening on my movie set today. Really? I'm diving in armored trucks, money's flying everywhere, machine gun fires. Are we on wires? Are we on wires? No, I'm on wires tomorrow. I have a whole skydive. I dive out of a plane tomorrow with the one and only Pierce Brosnan attached to my back sides. Oh, God, the man. That's tight. That is so cool. So I know I'm just

going to be smelling good all day. The man smells good. Yeah. There's no doubt in my mind. No, he smells terrific. Without a doubt. I mean, I smell the man every day. Does he know that? No. And I hope he never, he won't, he will not listen to this podcast. That's a guarantee. There is absolutely no way. Zero possibility that Pierce will hear this. Sheepshag is the podcast. When he walks, the Sheepshag is podcast. No, thank you. When he walks past, it's like, you just, there's like a waft that follows him. Right. You're just like, whew, boy. Pizza, pizza. And here's my question. Is it like a natural pheromone? Is it a very expensive cologne? Or is it just some throwback shit from when he was a young

lad? Lab. Thank you. It could just be Stetson for all I fucking know. I don't, I mean, I don't know. I don't think he's not like hosed with it. You're not just like, it's not overpowering. I'm not just asking, what is it? Hey, no, no, you're coming at Pierce like he stinks. Like it's too smelly. I'm saying it's perfect. He smells like shit. You're turning this into something and you can continue. But the question is, does it smell expensive? Is it natural? Or do you think it's a throwback from when he was a young guy? It's not natural. It's not like it's not like supernatural. It might be supernatural. It might be alien jizz that he's hosed himself with. I don't know what it is. Whatever it is. Ask him. It's out my price range.

Ask him. Yeah. I don't know. That's some 007 cent. Have you seen those insane Versace cologne commercials where it's like a guy supercut butt naked in like a speedo thing crawling out and then he like throws a thunderbolt? It's like the worst production ever. And then it goes Versace, like the most expensive cologne. And you're just like, they don't have a better commercial guy? No, that's how they make their money. They don't spend any. Miley Cyrus has like, it's like a Gucci commercial right now. Really? Gucci perfume. Is it a bad commercial? Yeah, it's kind of bad. What's with that? And it's just heard like, like being all funky and there's just like, you know, those necklaces that are really popular right now that like Harry Styles wears.

Oh, like where they have like all the trinkets on them? Yeah, there's a ton. It looks like that come to life as a commercial. That for sure was on their vision board when they made this commercial. There's just like spinning daisies and shit flying and a shit flying all over the place. And then it's a Gucci commercial. Is it because they don't do commercials? And so they're like, hey, we're going to do one. And then they're like, what do we do? Or do they hire like artists to like take a shot at it? I'm going to guess that. Yeah. And they're like, what's so hot right now? And then it's so different, weird. I can't handle it because I'm so normal. Yeah, you're so I would say your norm corridors. I would say that's your fashion style. Yeah,

your freaking norm core as hell. Yeah. Yeah. So is the graphics kind of like, is it like throwback like 3D computer graphics? Like, dude, I don't know. I saw it once and admittedly I was pretty stoned. I just remember thinking like this is a lot. And then when I saw that it was Gucci, I was like, say what? And put your jacket on. I went and tried my jacket on in the house. I do have it here. I brought it to Atlanta. I wore it one time. Fucking nice dude off the chain. I wore my Gucci jacket out once when I went to a fancy restaurant. I was like, maybe I strapped this on. No one made fun of me. And the people everyone there is like, why is he wearing a jacket inside? It was chilly. Admittedly, it was a little can I take your coats or no, no, people need to see

this. They have to see me in it. It stays on. No, no, stays on. So did did Pierce see you rocking it? And was he like 007? Pierce did. I was it was at dinner with Pierce. And it wasn't just the two of us. It was like a big cast thing. But no, he did not mention it. In fact, didn't mention it at all. Didn't even look your direction. No, I didn't really sat at the opposite end of the table. There was an empty chair right by me. And he's like, you know what? Now this guy keeps sniffing me when I walk past. This fucking guy is always smelling my ass. But Colon commercials have gotten like, have they always been super fucking weird? I think they have. Because anyone that's too indecent, inherently, you're into some weird shit. Yeah. Do you guys have you gone? Do you wear

cologne? Have you gone through a phase? Are you anti cologne? Let's go there. This is a hot topic. He's the Larry King interviewer of the crew. He always has like a lot of questions. Cologne. Good bad. Do you love it? Do you hate it? Go. That shit's important. Hey, RIP. That's another thing I hate is when Facebook, I mean, it thinks I hate now guys. Nice, dude. Get it off your chest. Yeah, no more cologne talk. When no one, no, we're going back to cologne talk. We'll get back. We won't let that go away. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. People are like, we're like, Hey, guys, what's what's your favorite cologne? Go. And then you have to like listen to like, they're putting it on you to like go like,

Hey, what's the best orthopedic surgeon in the area? Go. You're like, just fucking ask. You don't need to fucking scream at me at the end of this comment. So that being said, I fucked with some cool water back in the day. What color was that bottle? Was it blue? Yeah, it was like a bluish green if I remember correctly. It was like a teal sort of right. What was the polo one that came in the green bottle and had a gold top polo? Probably polo. Yeah, my guess is there we go. I remember they said cool water cologne. I remember specifically was like ninth, eighth, ninth, into 10th grade. I fucked with it because they said that it like attracted or released pheromones. I don't know what pheromones are. Attracted pheromones is tough.

Just animals were following you like Ace Ventura. So no, so it was like, girls thought that it would like turn girls on and get them all, you know, juicy. So I was like, I just bathed myself in it. I fucking stunk dude unlike Pierce. He has the perfect amount. Right. Yeah. I remember one time when I was a little kid, I had just gotten out of the shower and I thought it was a good idea to put, I think it was like 12. Okay, then it's cool. Then it's fine. And I was like, dude, I'm gonna put some cologne on my dick, bro. Make my dick smell good. Yeah, cool. I'm listening. Is this when they called you fetus boy? Go ahead. Yeah, definitely got inside my penis and it hurts so bad. Like in your urethra? Yeah, down the D hole. Yeah.

That old trick. It's like, I want to, my piss smells funny. I want it to smell better. I'll just do this. Man. It hurts so bad. It hurts so bad. I do remember going to like a, like dances in middle school and like gearing up with hella aftershave from my pops. Yeah, straight up home alone style. Yeah, brute. I did that with aftershave. I tried to shave obviously when I was a kid and how'd it go? It just cut, I cut my hand. I don't even know how that happened. Yeah, I cut my hand. What were you using? My grandfather's like old style razor. So it's not a straight razor, but it's like the old like giant thick one. So I think I just grabbed it like an asshole and slipped my hand open. A big old thick one. I grabbed it like an asshole. I always saw my

grandfather put aftershave on afterwards and I thought that's what I should do with the wound. Oh, yeah. Because I was like, I saw him like scrape his neck and he'd have like little and he'd put aftershave on it. And I'm like, okay, that's what I do. So I poured it all over my hand burnt so fucking bad. And then I like, I'm trying to dry it off and I'm drying it down the front of myself and I rub it all over my cock. The exact opposite thing you're supposed to do. What are you crying about? And then now my hand, now I've got a bloody cock and my hands all bloody and I'm screaming bloody murder. And my mom and grandma come running in like, what is going on in here? Yeah, I feel like you're using this podcast to kind of reiterate lies you told as a youngster

so that like, when your folks listen to the podcast, I guess he wasn't lying about that time. We caught him jacking off with his own blood moisture. No, I was too young. I was 14, dude. I was 13. What'd you say? No, I know I was like six or so. That was like, like a true little kid. You were six and you cut yourself in that range. I don't know. That must have been the most terrifying thing. If your mom ran in while your cock was bloody, dude, but I'm six years old. I was like, I don't give a shit if no, wait, I was butt naked. I just I just got out of the other you had like pants on the bathtub or whatever. I just like just gotten and I was like the fucking bathtub and you saw my my dad and and Graham and grandfather shave and then put after shave on

and I'm like, well, guess what? I'm a man. I'm a man. Yeah, you are. And hit him. I'm gonna shave. Hit him. Hit me with it. Hit me with it. Blake. Thank you. I'm a man. And so I was like, I'm gonna shave and do this whole thing and it fucking backfired. So I understand where you're coming from, Blake, about aftershave burning the D hole. Right. Yeah, right. I don't think I rocked any in high school, but then college, I think I might have gotten. Oh, we got a chunk. Oh, God, it's down to two. This is not good. And then there were two. This is not good. This is really good. Finally, I have you alone. Yeah. So what's up? Finally, this is come on. Hey, okay. He's back. Yes. Oh, God, Adam was about to say some weird shit to me. I can hear you guys the whole time.

No, this reminds me of when we were roommates and I loved hanging out with you and you were pretty over it. Do you love him? That's what that reminded me of right there. Blake immediately was ready to bail. Do you love him? Did you hear any of it because I poured my heart out? No, dude. No, were you about to tell us your favorite cologne? Please say it's the Michael Jordan I was gonna say that I got like a free thing of CKB when I like bought something at a department store in college. What is CKB? It was like, well, there was CK1 which came out and had like a nice run. Yeah, I remember that shit. That shit was hot. And then CKB came in like a black bottle. Oh, shit. Elevated. Elevated white styles. And it didn't smell good. I remember finding it like 10 years

ago and it was like, this is horrible. But yeah, Cologne, I had a little thing of Christian Dior that I think Emma got me at some point that smelled real good, but I don't rock with it at all. I don't think any of us do, do we? We're a natural pheromone boy crew. It sucks. I want to. I'm feeling deodorant and you're good. You're good to go. I feel like none of us are stinky. No, dude, it was all about the member body spray. Right. So you're an Axe body spray guy? You're an Axe boy. I tried to for a little bit, right? Didn't you guys, you guys never had a little stint with body spray? Well, my mom would like give me. Gel deodorant. It was hot. It was new. Oh yeah, I fuck her. No, my mom would for like years, when I was living with you Blake, she'd get me like

Axe and put it as like a stocking stuffer. Yeah. And so like I'd get, every time I'd come home for Christmas, I'd just have like a ton of winter fresh gum. Right. And all the Axe I could handle for like a solid six months. What a hint. Yeah. She's like, you stinky little fuck. Your mom's like, you smell here. No. Fuck it. Yeah, for sure. I'm not a smelly guy, dude. I don't think any of us are that smelly. Yeah, I think we lost our smelliest member. Well, yeah, I feel like the three of us are our powers combined couldn't reach his heights. The big stink is gone. I'm getting stinkier. Are you? I'm getting stinkier. Do you think so? I think so. Yeah, like my feet are starting to kind of smell. It's bad. Yeah. It's because you run and then don't shower right away or what is that?

Yeah, I don't know. Why do feet start to stink later in life? I don't understand. I think I just expect, it's not later in life. It's not later in life. It's how you're taking care of them. Well, feet get gnarlier. When you see like your dad's foot suddenly at an older age, you're like, is that what's going to happen? My feet are, I'm missing toes, dude. My feet are gross. Yeah. My feet are legit yucco. I meant to say when I see your feet, I go, whoa. Your feet are frightening. Oh, my kids are going to be truly terrified. Like toenails get yellow and crazy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. My shits all yellow. Yeah. My shits. It's like peeling back. The nails are just like revolting. Maybe you could make it cool. Yeah. I don't give a shit. I'm like, it's weight. It's weight. I'm

a giant person. It's way down there. Yeah. Why do people give such a shit about feet like they get so grossed out by them and shit? I don't get that either. I don't really fucking care. Like, it's just feet. Let me get this off my fucking chest. Do it, please. The time is now. When Chad McBosman died, right? Yep. Uh-huh. I threw on Black Panther to watch it with my son. And I never post pictures of my kids. It's just, I don't know. I just don't do it. But I posted the TV of us watching Black Panther with both of our feet on the coffee table or whatever. So you could be like, I'm watching with my kid like Chad McBosman, RIP. I'm sharing his movies with my kid. I feel like the dude was a good guy and made some cool shit. And people were like,

and people go, you put a fucking picture of your feet in there? I'm like, all right, I'm done. Sorry. Fuck you, asshole. I was trying to show you that I'm sharing this with my kid who I never post about, but all right. Yeah, man, get your fucking stupid feet off my feet. By the way, my feet? My feet? Beautiful. My kid's feet? Splendid. Well, that's probably why they were weirded out. They're like, oh, no. Too sexual. It's too sexual. Yeah. I can't help but jerk off at this now when I was sad about Chad McBosman, but they were sexy as feet get in the frame. Yeah, it's mixed messages. And I can't help but crank down. See, this is why I got to bring it up with you guys because you sorted out. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. It's mixed messages. You're getting people

horny, you're getting people pissed. Feet are just a very dividing subject, really. Not here. Some people want to fuck them and some people want to puke. I hate my life. I hate my life. Where are you at right now, Jersey? Uh-oh. We lost him. He's a chunker. No, man. I'm here. I'm here. No. Okay, good. Yeah. Well, now you are. Yeah. You just froze looking so indignant towards us. You were just like, these guys. I thought you quit the pod. I love this. We should clarify. I'm in my garage because this is so fucking dope. You got kicked out of your office. It became like a child's play zone or something. We had the tree. I'm a man. I'm 40. I had the tree tremors come today, so they were using the wood shipper outside my office. I go, all right, I guess I'll just drag

the whole thing into my garage. Welcome to my garage. I'm shonking. Pretty sick setup. Yeah, you got killer shit. As soon as we got on, the guy rings the doorbell. I was like, we're done. We're going to pack up. We'll see you later. I'm like, I just dragged my whole thing in here. Not that that's much, but let's fucking go. Let's see what you got here. Let's go. Let's go. You've got on. Let's go. What is that? You got a row machine. You got a treadmill. Ergata rowing machine. Can't recommend it. Ergata. Highly another. What does that mean? What does that word mean? It's a water rower that has this, what they call gamification. It's got a screen, like a peloton kind of thing, but instead of being shouted at by somebody who you're like, on a scale of one to 10, these people

are 1000% annoying. And I don't know if I did that right, but it's kind of just video games that make you increase your stroke tempo, your effort. It doesn't keep track of what you do so you could beat your own score. Exactly. And you race people and it's not like a peloton. If you do a peloton at home where you're kind of like racing, but for some reason, some people are so much further ahead of you right out of the gate, but it doesn't do it correctly. First of all, I ride bikes all the time. We know this. I don't do the classes, but I do like the other ride. And I'm like, I'm never even close to winning in the top like 100. Well, there are freak athletes out there that are just killing it. But have you seen these thighs? I've seen them. I've seen them

too much. I've seen the feet, seen the thighs. It's all fucked. This lets you race the person that has like they're actually like when they were fast here and slower later, as opposed to like their average pace for the time that they went, which is what they do on peloton. And I hate that shit. Yeah. I've never done a peloton. I thought people just like it because you race each other in real time. Well, you can do real time classes or like banked classes. And there's tons of tons of classes. Yeah. So like if you like taking spin classes, go for it. And if you, and as far as just a, just like a stationary bike, it's a great stationary bike. It's very nice. Very nice. Are you guys, are you, well, yeah, real quick on Peloton, did you hear the drama about the

Sex and the City remake where they're like, the guy died and Pelotons like trying to clown them? It's so stupid. No, it was like their stock fell by like 10% or 15% or something. Right. Or more than that. I don't know. A thousand. Is that a number? Yeah. Why? Because Mr. Big like died. He had a heart attack on it. And I think Peloton, their first statement was like, well, he must have not had a healthy lifestyle. And then when shit really started hit the fan, they were like, that's why nobody watched that dumbass show. They got him, bro. Yeah, their stock fell by 11%. That's like a lot. You know, I don't know. I'm not like a money guy, but that seems like a lot. You know, if you, if you are big into Peloton stock, right? That seems really fucked up. They must be

fucking pissed. By the way, Mr. Big, how old is that guy? I don't know. Cause I, I also saw you you could die doing anything. If your name, if your name is Mr. Big. Yeah. Like, you know, maybe ease into the Peloton class, maybe don't go all out right away. Your heart might explode. Right. Well, is it Mr. Big? Cause of his cock is my guess. Yeah. Is it? Oh God, I bet that show kicks ass. I have never watched sex in the scene. Oh, you have never seen it? Oh, it's pretty good. Chloe was on a spin off show called the Kerry Diaries, which was about them Kerry as like a young girl and in the 80s or whatever. Nice. Yeah. So I ended up watching all of Kerry Diaries and then a little bit of sex in the city to kind of get a grasp with the

characters. I love it. I dug it, dude. I dug it. It's like, it's like. I mean, it was a hit. Totally. Dude, it's basically entourage for women. You know how much I fuck with entourage, dude. So it rules. I love that. Oh, it was, it's like, like dirty and shit, right? Like I guess I just got to fucking watch it. People love it. Yeah, it's dirty. There's definitely is frozen again into the weirdest face. Dude, oh man, I was about to take a photo of you being frozen because you looked like you were fucking jizzing your pants, my friend. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We were talking about sex in the city and your donger got hard. Well, you know what? I might have been jizzing my pants because of this specialized e-bike that you can see behind me. What a blast. I jizz

every time I'm on it. Dude, I love, I love that bike. Yeah. We got to shout out specialized more often because we shout them out a lot all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But grand slam brought to you by specialized great job specialized on that. Should we just start dogging out trek and be like, fuck you, trek. Trek sucks. Trek sucks, dude. All my homies hate trek. We love trek. We hate trek. Yeah. Up with trek, down with trek, biatch. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and

our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I got to get out of the house. He's going to find out that I've seen this. He's going to come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C.

It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed freeway fan. This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to freeway phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What is this other machine that you have over your left shoulder here? Yeah. Yeah. Geez, man. You've got a whole fucking training facility, dude. Why aren't you super in shape? What the fuck? I have what you might call the body you get when you eat absolutely anything and everything, but then you work out too. Okay. I like that. Durs, but you, Durs, it was a collegiate athlete. So your muscle, the muscle memory, it snaps back quicker. See, I was just kind of a, like a chubby stoner. Your boobs are huge. I never had, I didn't have that base because I eat better than you do. Definitely. Yeah, for sure. And then work out a similar amount, I would say. Yeah. And yet I see you without a shirt.

And you look, I'll say you look sexier, dude. Thank you. You look really sexy. You're not that guy, pal. Trust me. The holidays have not been kind to me. How them tits? The issue with you is I gain it in my, in like my little belly. Your boobs are huge. You just grow giant titties. Why are they, are they sprucing up for the holidays? Let's just say today I was doing a bunch of double unders with the jump rope. I might have to post a video of how they shake. Your boobs are huge. It is out of control.

You legit, your boobs legit bounce. Well, no, it's more like, you know, when you, you go to the like a grocery store and you get that little 25 cent egg that you open and it's got the little hand that you fly back and forth, the rubber one. Yeah, the sticky hand. The elasticity of my titties goes like that. It's like, poof, poof, poof. Oh, so that's actually, you're going to be one of those old guys that will be pretty in shape, but then just they'll wear a t-shirt and you could tell that their tits are just sagging. Oh, yeah. Your boobs are huge. I'm going under the knife for sure.

You're going to have Ric Flair titties? Damn. No, no, no, no. Well, yeah, it's like, it's like body builders all have that. When they get old, their titties sag, they, there's just too much. I'm going to get a lift. You're going to get a boob lift? Yeah. Or a cool sculpt? Just freeze the fat, you know, I'll figure something out. Wild. I believe that. That's going to be sweet.

But yeah, that's a, that's an assault runner. Assault runner? That sounds cool as fuck. Assault runner. Yeah. It's a treadmill that you... Not assault runner. What? Yeah, like... Assault, not assault. Like you, you've, you've beaten someone up. Yeah, you're abusing the run.

Your body. Which I got during last year when there was like the fires and you couldn't go running outside. So, you know, we got some runners in this house and... Where did you go? Got it for indoors. So that, you know... You didn't have to miss a run. Don't miss a run.

And I got a free assault bike because that was the promo they were running. My God, dude. You know what an assault bike is? Brutal. It's fucking brutal. This is... You got all this stuff. I'm jelly. Yeah, turn it.

I'm mad jelly. Dude, this is fun. This is your... Holy... I don't know if you can see. Oh, so what? That just like has like where you move your arms at the same time? Yeah, arms and...

Yeah. It is a heart rate. Spike or like nothing else out there? Yeah, Mr. Big's heart would definitely explode on the assault bike. Way before the Peloton. Damn. Assault bike should tweet out like, Mr. Big, don't even come near us.

Yeah, unless you want to die. Your heart would shatter in a thousand pieces. Your big dick couldn't take it, brother. All the cock would rush right out of your big dick and into your heart and it would explode. The heart was for sure already under stress from the decades of having to pump that giant cock with blood, right? Yeah. Who are we kidding?

That's gonna be the next episode is the girl sitting around in the doctor's office. Is it a movie or is it a TV show? I thought it was a new season. A mini series? I think it's like we're doing a few episodes of this. So the next one's gonna be like, well, it looks like just too much blood was pumping into his huge cock and he just died. Right.

They gotta get you in the room. Blake should help write this one. I would love to write it. I'd go in that writer's room for a week or so. Yeah. Just throw some ideas around. Without knowing anything about the characters or the show at all and just kind of go in there and add my cool cock jokes.

I'm chunking. I know. Dirty. You froze, right? I know. Can you hear me now or no? Yeah, we hear you. The show's Sex and the City.

Sex and the City, baby. And it's Sex and the City, correct? Not in the city? Sex and. I thought it was in the city. No. They gotta get you in the room. Caroline in the city?

Yeah, you're thinking of Caroline in the city. Arguably better. Yeah, which I loved her. My God. She's the one who got her eyes lasered and got all fucked up, right? Who's that? Caroline Ray. Caroline Ray.

She fucked her eyes up? No, Caroline in the city. Wasn't that that was Zoe Dorch's mom? No, that is the girl from. Yeah. I met her once. Back to the future. Her name is Caroline Ray.

I'm not saying that is her name. I thought Caroline in the city was Caroline Ray, the stand-up comedian. Goodbye. I have fucking no idea. I have no idea. I'm so glad I didn't chunk during that. I had a point to get out there.

Here, what's happening here? But no Kim Cottrell. What is the backstory there? Oh, yeah. Why no Kim Cottrell? Why don't they like her? She hates him. Hey, let me say this.

I just worked with Kim. I'm team Kim. Really? Yeah, we like Kim. She was a sweetheart. She was so nice. I showed her, first of all, I stalked her because I was like,

we got to talk big trouble in little China. And she was so cool about it. Oh, hell yes. I didn't even get into police academy. I could see her being way cool. I could see her being. She's great. Dude, you know, remember that YouTube video of her?

You guys got to look this up. TII nation. It's this old YouTube video of her doing like scat, like Sada de Wey. She's like. Oh, yeah. And she killed it. It's so funny, dude.

It's so funny. She's like the the he dogs and she dogs. It's all I know. What is this from? It's just like a YouTube clip from like, she did like a, I want to say it was like a workout video or like a yoga video.

Oh, God, I love it. And then she just starts scatting. And it's so bizarre. Hubba-loo. Evidently, it's called hubba-loo. I mean, you're acting like you've never done that. You've never just been exercising and been like,

Hubba-loo. Hubba-loo. It's so good. Cable guy style. The fact that we don't have a workout, a series of workout videos, all three of us. That would be fucking rad.

I really wanted, I remember when we were doing work allyx and I was doing all the Demamp Camp stuff and that was kind of my runner through the series. Where I on the show work allyx, I did Demamp Camp volume swole and would was constantly wanting to put out these series of workout videos.

Right. And you know, there were never any good but I was like Comedy Central teams up with fucking Puma or Adidas or someone. And then I actually put out a series of funny workout videos. Right. I was like, that'd be great.

That'd be fun. Everyone is in better shape than you are. Like the people behind you. They're shredded. And I'm the one yelling at them. Yeah. And you're like, okay, let's do this. And you're exhausted.

I'm constantly out of breath. And I'm wearing a belly T-shirt. My little bellies flap it in the wind. We can get something that accentuates your titties. Your boobs are huge. Instead of muscle confusion, you're just, you get hello, just regular confused.

I'm just, I'm just regular confused. Regular confusion. Wait, how do you do this one again? It doesn't matter. Just move fast. Just flip tires. We're talking mind confusion. This is total, total body, mind confusion.

No idea what I'm doing out here. So rumor has it, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim control. Okay. Here's some tea. Here's some tea. Here's some tea. Hey guys, sip some tea. T-I-I nation.

Sip it up. It's tea time. T-I-I nation. Hey community. Get your little tea cups out. Good luck. Good luck. Because we're about to sip sips.

Oh, look at that sound effects. I don't know if you can hear that, but that's tea. That was tea. Oh, I love myself. Oh boy. I love myself. Hold up. He's on one.

No, rumor has it, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim control. They don't like each other. Hey, you know where I stand. Pour the tea. Pour the tea. Pour the tea. Pour the tea. Pour the tea.

Oh boy, that's not. OK. Rumor has it, they don't like each other. This is gotta be a weekly segment. Sip and tea. Sip and tea. T-I-I. Hey, sip and tea with Adam T.

You're a stupid dumbass. Yeah, and that's all the information we have about them. They're like not liking each other, baby. That's it. And that's all I got. And that's all I got. You've got the scoop from two weeks ago, and this airs in three weeks.

Awesome. Yeah, some hot tea. That's some iced tea. So technically, we're getting a little bit ahead of the game because we got a little bit of free time right now before the holidays. So we're banging out. Fabulous for a free time.

Fabulous for a free time. I'm rocking a t-shirt. But technically, this is our New Year's episode, correct, Blakey? We won't be in the year 2022 yet. I think this will air on maybe the 28th of December. So we're close. So you guys have sick-ass plans for your New Year's?

What's going on? Do you guys know what you're doing? I'm going to be home. Freakin' party, Daddy. Freakin' party, Daddy. Dude, with these fucking trees trimmed? Yeah, dude. Now that the trees are trimmed, we can really hit it.

I'm going to be in my front lawn just sip and tea, waving at neighbors. Yeah, buddy, banging pots and pans. I don't know what. I haven't done something for New Year's in a while. I kind of hate New Year's. New Year's is like always such a... Yeah, I'm like...

It's a rookie night. Dude, and Blake is such a pro. I don't know why everyone's expectations are always so high, because every year, everyone goes, it's not good. Blake is such a pro when it comes to being an alcoholic. Dude, no, that is totally it. With New Year's, it's so much pressure to have fun. I get so worked up.

But we are now like posts, everyone expecting it to be good. Everyone always talks about how shitty it is. So I don't understand why we don't just lower the expectations. Lowered expectations. So you want an awesome party where like, I feel New Year's is the one... I never want to wear a suit or get dressed up. Like, literally never.

I don't really want to do that. Yeah, I don't like it. Except for New Year's, if New Year's Eve, there was like a big fucking Gatsby ball. Yeah. And everybody wore little masks and wore tuxedos and beautiful gowns. And then we went to like a beautiful palace

and fucked each other. That would be a dream. Rippin' in the tarot. A dream New Year's. Yeah, maybe we're... It never goes down. It never goes down. I never get the invite.

Soared to me in a raven's mouth. I never get that. So what's the point? Maybe we're just not doing New Year's right. We need to get all like dressed in gold, wear masks, go in a room with each other and kind of... I didn't say gold. Dude, I didn't say gold.

That's where you lost me. Yeah, but I like where he's going with it. No, that's what you're supposed to do on New Year's, is wear gold. Isn't that like a whole thing? You wear gold. Gold? Why gold? Yeah.

I don't know what he's talking about. I think it's like a thing. The fuck are you talking about, boy? No, I think you're supposed to wear gold on New Year's. Adam hit him. Fuck you, Blake. Assault Adam. Shut the fuck up!

I've never heard that you wear gold on New Year's. Maybe that's like a... Maybe that was just my grandma and I just figured it was a real thing. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it was. It's not amazing when parents or grandparents would just tell you something as a kid

and you're just like, yeah, I guess that is a fact. I'll think about that till I'm 40. Yeah. What is it with grandma's wearing purple hats? Is that a thing? Am I making it? Just stop.

Did you... Yeah. What do you mean? No. Did you have like a cool black grandmother that was taking you to church or something? Yeah. Did you have a grandmother that worked at the Kentucky Derby?

She was at the circus. Who was your grandmother? Uh-huh. No, there's a thing. Like, there's this club of grandmas that all wear like purple hats. That's a real thing, dude. You're thinking of Jombie from Pee Wee's Playhouse.

Dude, well, I mean, grandmothers in New Orleans specifically, they like will go drink tea. Sip it... Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Hit me with that. The tea.

They pour the tea on Sundays and then they go and like they drink, they wear their dumbass hats and they go, you know, have fucking... No, guys, I fucked up. I fucked up. I fucked up. It's not purple.

We know. It's a red hat. It's a red hat. It's called the Red Hat Society. And all the grandmas wear red hats and they wear purple dressies. All the grandmas I've never seen. The red...

And what is going on? Is this like a... The Red Hat Society. It's an international social organization and it was founded in 1998 in the United States for women age 50 and beyond. But it's now open to women of all ages. Dude, 1998, that's not even that long ago.

Yeah. They have the Secret Society. Secret Societies are supposed to be like a thousand years old. This is like a new... 50? This is the new hot shit. And by the way, it's not that secret of a society. It's literally...

You didn't know about it. It's a website that's joined. Yeah, that's true. It's just joined right now. You didn't know about it? It's secretsociety.monotontont.com. Dude, listen to these activities. Both red and pink hatters often wear very elaborate

decorated hats and attention-getting fashion accessories, such as Featherboa. The society's events vary depending on the chapter, but common activities among red hatters include hosting tea parties, playing games, and going to movies. I want to be a grandma. God, I wish I was chunking. Dude, you...

Honestly, you will be a grandmother, dude. I see that for you. Can I chunk? You want to chunk? You want to chunk out of the Red Hat Society? That shit is cool. They probably get fucked up and play like... They don't.

They drink tea and... Come on, that tea's got shit in it. Well, the cool ones get... The cool ones go like... It's like a church thing, you know? It's sort of like... When you go to a church event, you go like... You eye around, you see who the cool people are,

and then you go like, hey, yo, let's go throw rocks into that window over there. Let's go steal cookies from... Let's go steal cookies. Let's try to start something on fire. So basically, the Red Hat Society women are doing the same. They're looking around. They're like, yo, Gladys has got that gin in her purse.

I know she does. Does anybody smoke weed? Of course some of that in her tea. Oh, yeah, uh-huh. We'd smoke in grannies, dude. And our vellas got that good, good on lock. I'm still going to send it. Who's throwing up a tight one.

Freaking bong ripping grannies. Yeah, it's got to be that. You don't think these grandmas get fucking torched, dude? Did your grandmother... Was your grand... My grandmother was a fucking party animal. Yeah. Our vella divine.

That woman threw down. Very fun. My grandma plays what fucking card game? She plays it like every day with her homie. Yeah, she plays bridge every day with her homies. That's a grandma game for sure. That's a grandma card game. They love it.

And they for sure... You're for sure drinking while you do it, right? It's like sipping wine, playing bridge. So do you think when we're old? When we're grandmas? My grandma wasn't sipping wine. She was chugging vodka, bro. Oh, yeah.

When we're old and we are grandfathers, do you think we will play card games? I don't. I think we're all going to be on a quest in our oculus. In the metaverse, right? In the metaverse. I'm a man! Fucking chopping it up.

And if we do play cards, it's in the metaverse. Absolutely. Because look at us now. We're the three best friends on a podcast. We're not in the same room together. I don't want to be in the same room with you guys. I prefer... I never see you guys.

You're stinky ass, dude. Smell me. Dude, I should go to shit. I don't. I don't smell like shit. We've established that you're... If anyone's a stinky one, is you. You think you smell like shit now.

You're a man. You're a man. I don't... Yeah, I'll just probably be dead by then. Really? You're calling it? No way, dude. Is that real?

Yeah, dead by 50? We've all established that I'm going to be the first one dead. Yeah. I didn't say I wasn't talking about you. Oh, so you're... I'm sorry. I was talking about someone besides you. I was just talking about I'm going to be dead.

And you're like, whoa, we've... We've established... I die first. Okay, we'll be both dead then. No, I die first. No, I die. Okay, yeah. True.

Fair enough. True, true, true. So Adam's dead. I was talking about us as a group. So we're dead. Sure. Do you really think you'll be dead by 50? Man, I don't think you guys...

No, you live a very healthy lifestyle. You don't drink that often. And when you do, it's a classic binge situation. Right. So it'll be like a tragic. It won't be like a... Well, there was a lot of lean years. It was like...

So but then you don't like drink. You'll go like a few weeks without drinking and then you'll have a night out and you'll go and you'll drink, right? For sure. Well, yeah. I mean, I drink on the weekends because the pandemic changed everything

because you're like, I don't go anywhere. So I might as well just start drinking. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, baby. There's a lot of good things about the pandemic. Yeah. Yeah. It's a bagel.

And you're like, well, I guess I gotta... It is kind of nice. I remember Blake when I was talking about just getting that couch buzz. Yeah, dude. And yeah, it's a good time. Getting hammered and watching movies. It's the best.

Yeah. Finding your room is like... You're like, where's that fucking room? Where the fuck is it? Where do I keep that? Which one is it? Where do I keep that fucking thing? Where's daddy's room?

Upstairs. First obstacle. Stairs. Hey, bud. Could you show me where daddy's room... Where I keep daddy's room? You just crawl in your kid's bed. Move over.

God, that'd be... I can't wait to do that. Move over. Piss in their dresser. Have you ever done that? My dad did that. Oh, you know, once or twice when I was a kid. Not welcome in mom's room.

Yes, sir. What? All right. I love you. I love you. I love you too. You're in your jeans, dad. Hi, I'm David Eagleman.

I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans?

Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal.

Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me.

Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, DC. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom.

This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him, I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, I told you guys this story about the time that me and my dad always slapbox, right? And so we're always, slapboxing each other. And then I was on tour and I did a show in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, which is like right next to Waterloo, Iowa, where I'm from, where my whole family's from. And it was a huge show, one of the biggest shows. Did the Waterloo Natix come out? Oh, damn.

Yes, we drank them out of alcohol halfway through the show. Or not even halfway through, like 15 minutes in the show, they were like out of beer. So the venue had to go buy like 50 more cases of beer. I'm still gonna send it. And it was like a big, it was like 3,200 seats or something. And so it was an awesome show and it went great. And then after the show, we went out, we went drinking. It was very fun.

All my dad's friends are there. And then we're going back to the hotel and it's all icy out. It's like February or whatever, in the winter. And we're slapboxing and then my dad starts to get too aggressive. Like I'm winning the slap. So he closed his fist, punches me in the mouth and like popped me in my fucking lip. And so I'm like, what the fuck? You hit me in the lip and he's like, oh, I'm sure.

And then I fucking popped him in the face and I gave him a black eye. And then my mom, now my mom's like, stop it. Stop it. I love it. And then my dad's like, you son of a bitch. And he's like wants to fight me and people have to hold him back and shit. And then, you know, cooler heads prevailed and we went to bed. Did they?

I was like, when and what part of the story did they prevail? So, and then we go back to our rooms, whatever, you know, we were drunk. And you know how you guys fight your dad's when you guys get drunk. And went back to our rooms and all of a sudden like I'm going to bed and like 45 minutes later, 30 minutes later, I just hear someone in the hallway going like, oh, man. Oh, come on. Jesus Christ. Was it two people?

Or you just got back? No, this is my dad. I got back into character. And and I open up the door and it's just my dad slumped in the hallway trying to sleep. Yeah. In the hallway of the hotel. That shit's important. And I go, I go, dad, what the fuck are you doing?

He goes, your mom won't let me sleep in the room with her. You see, take them out. Using the doghouse. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm like, I fucking come in here. And then he sleeps in the room with me. I wake up. He somehow he was wearing clothes when he got into bed.

And then somehow he had stripped down to just his tidy whities. And I woke up to him throwing his leg over me and grabbed me around like big spooning me. And then brings me in close and goes, I love you, honey. I'm sorry, baby. And I'm like, the fuck? And he goes, that's not my dad. I'm like, I'm like, and then and then it was like, oh, shit, I thought you were a petty. And I'm like, I'm not.

I'm not petty. Cooler heads prevailed. Yeah, cooler heads prevailed. Cooler heads prevailed, man. It sounds like. Oh man, this guy was docking with his dad. So then we have a really funny photo of like the next day of like, me looking fat headed from all the booze I drank.

And my dad just fully having a black eye. And it's just us in the lobby of this shitty hotel be like, yeah, it's okay. It's fine. We're fine. We still love each other. I slept with him last night. Cooler heads prevailed. Cooler heads once again prevailed.

Oh my god. Damn, you got to stop slapping your dad around, dude. That's fucked up. It was a mutual slap around. We'll still do it. It's fun. It's fun to slap your dad. Bob and wave.

But that thing, it's it's it's slap boxing. Ironically, that's also how you dance. Just yeah, just lots of hands. Like a wild and crazy guy. Never danced at him. He might hit you. There's a lot of hands coming at you. Yeah, dude, from slam dancing with my bros.

That's so soft, dude. I'm slam dancing with my bros. Let's go. I love it, man. Holy. Well, what's the thing? Have you guys ever fistfought your fathers? No, I remember by the time my dad was so much stronger than me.

And then he was instantly old. Right. You know, like I remember in college, when I was a strong division one athlete. Yes, my dad. You were too. Yeah. God damn.

Hot as fuck. My dad arm wrestled me with his pinky. He arm wrestled you with his pinky. Yeah, he has like thick fingers. You've held my you've shook my dad's hands before. I've held his head. Yeah, we whatever we see your father, I make sure to grab Phil Holmes hand.

And just hold onto it. Yeah, we just take walks. He's got like mitts with thick fingers, right? And he just sticks his pinky out. And I couldn't. He didn't take me down, but I definitely also couldn't take him down. And I was like, what the fuck is happening here?

Like, I think he just has that like dad strength. That's the dad strength, but also just there's some people who have that strength. Right. It's just like they got reserves in their muscles where they're just like, I know I might not be huge, but like I can lift this anyways. I'm a man.

Yeah. So I'm scared of him. But wasn't your dad like a big like weightlifter back in the day? Like, well, I guess we should just tell everybody. My dad is Arnold Swartz. My dad's Andre the Giant. Yeah, my dad played football.

Yeah, he was a football player, but he wasn't like a huge guy. He just has like a big head, big hands. He's like a wide person. Your boobs are huge. He was like a center. He was a center, a college center. Yeah, your dad reminds me of, I'm watching Succession,

and your dad reminds me of Brian Cox, the character that, not in like how he is temperament wise. He reminds me of Mr. Big. But just like a big like bulldog of a man, like a strong big guy. Yeah. Yeah. I can see that.

So you never fist fought him. Yeah. And did you ever just throw some fucking gloves with Tim? Well, my dad... Let's talk about, let's talk about your dad, wrestler. I wanted to talk about my father. Yeah, he was a wrestler in college and high school, so... But do you think right now you could physically dominate your father?

Should we tell him? Tim's jacked. Tim is still jacked. I don't know. He's got good wrestling moves, but he's, I don't know, he's kind of... He's broken. He's got like a bad shoulder and like his hands are fucked up. So you would go for the shoulder?

Yeah. Yeah, see, I mean, don't be afraid. I know, I know he might listen to the podcast. My dad listens to the podcast. And I mean, yeah, he just battled cancer. And so I do have that leg up on it. But I for sure could beat the shit out of my, of my father who just battled cancer right now.

Yeah. I feel confident. I feel confident. You've got that? Being able to, that I could do that. Yes. Yeah, sure. I'll put, you know, I'll put it on wax.

I could beat my dad's ass, man. Dude, come at me, bro. Hey, maybe in the live show, we fight our dads. Yeah, we fight our dads. We bring our dads out there. We wear boxing gloves. Right.

And we can even like handicap. We can wear like a 45 pound like weight vest on or something to like handicap us a little bit. I mean, here's what I'm gonna do. We wear like heavy gloves. We put like... My dad, he's not 80, but he's not. He's damn near 80.

Right, he's kissing 80. And I still feel like I don't know him. If he had, if he just got one grip on me, he'd break his thumb. His thumb could go like into my flesh. You know what I mean? Yeah, man. He still got that power.

I would say your dad is the scariest one, for sure. He's got like Nordic blood. My father, there's stories of him... Just going around Omaha? No, his friends. Because I go hunting with a group of my friends and a group of his friends once a year. We haven't done it the last couple of years

because of COVID and cancer. Yes. COVID. COVID strikes again. But there's, evidently, he bit a man's finger off. What? Yeah, back in the days. Give me a hell, yeah.

I guess that's tough. So he bit a man's finger off. So like, I'm afraid if he were to get real riled up, something could turn real sideways to where he just... I feel like I would never bite a man's finger off. That's like life or death. I don't know about that. I feel like you would.

You do think I would bite a man's finger off? Yeah, I feel like you would totally bite somebody's finger off. You're definitely the guy to bite. And then you would blame them. Yeah. This is your fault. Yeah, you'd be like, what do you want me to do? You did that.

You did that. Well, you started it. Well, if they're putting their fingers all up in my face, dude, they deserve a little chop-chop. Yeah, I mean, I think you would go for them. I think if they were nearby and you were losing, you'd go for them. Well, it depends. Is this a life or death fight?

Like, if this is a friendly... Potentially. No, it's not. The fight with my dad in that parking lot in front of the... The local Radisson. He wanted to kill you. What was his fight? Was his fight life or death?

No, his fight was like, guys followed them home from the bar and they fought in... So, I don't know. They were street kids, so there could have been knives and fucking shit. Sure. Bike chains. Yeah, no doubt. Bike chains.

But rap. Rap. Street rap. A lot of handfuls of dirt. No, but they were like super... Like, my dad had friends that were murdered and shit. You know, were stabbed to death. What the fuck?

In high school, he had a friend get stabbed in the hallway and murdered. What? Yeah, man. That's fucking crazy. At school? At school. Wow. That's really insane.

So, yeah, it could have been life or death. I don't know. That being said, like, if I'm in a fist fight with... Usually, I've only ever fought my friends. It's always been like tempers get a little out of hand. And then me and a buddy go at it. But we're not actually... Like, you're just trying to win the fight.

You're not trying to physically hurt them to where they can't, like, walk the next day. You know what I mean? Do we know what you mean? I don't know. No one to me? I don't know. I'm saying... Like, if I were to fight you guys...

I know what you mean. I wouldn't... I wouldn't, like, if there was an opportunity to break your neck, I wouldn't do it. If... I appreciate that. Yeah, dude, that's big of you. But if I'm in a fist fight and there's, like, a guy with a fucking blade and he's coming at me, and he's like, I'm gonna murder you, then I'd look for the opportunity to break his skull.

You're looking for the excuse to kill him, man. If he's trying to kill me. If I think that my life is in danger. But if I'm fighting a friend, I know my life's not in danger. Can we talk about this real quick? What is the scenario where you would feel okay having killed someone? Feel okay? Like, if they...

Where you don't think it would haunt you. Were they mad rude? Yeah, like, you get seated at a table and they just don't bring you menus. You fully should get to kill the host. Or host us. Were they, like, super rude to you or something? Then maybe. No, it would need to be, like...

Like, I always think, like, if I come... Bullet? If you come fire, hail silver bullets? No, if I come, like, out of my bedroom and there's just, like, a guy in the hallway and he has, like, a knife or a gun or, like, he's not leaving if I'm leaving and then we fight, I... If I end up killing him, I don't want to. But if he's...

If I think, like, he's there to kill me. Right. Yeah. Then I would think I'd be okay with it. I'm sure it would... I would have to go to counseling or whatever. Right, right, right. That's what would get you to therapy.

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Maybe not. I might just be fine with it. Weird, wild stuff. Yeah, you never know. I don't know. Hey, I know I'm here because I killed somebody, but do you think I should cut back on the caffeine?

I don't know. Would you guys be okay? I feel like that would be the scenario that I could murder a person. That's actually... Where it's like, if your family's in the house and there's just a fucking guy there, and you're like, get the fuck out of my house, and he's like, nah, and he comes towards you and you're like, oh, fuck, now I gotta fight this guy to the death. I don't think I would ever feel great doing it.

But yeah, if they're coming from my family and if they're gonna kill your family, you gotta do it. But that's actually like a... Well, you don't know. I mean, he's not there. You know, a killer doesn't say I'm here to kill you and your family. Right. Sometimes in the movies.

Now, usually they're just like, what? It's fine. And then he subdues you, and then he ties you up. He puts a bunch of plates on your back. Right. He rapes and murders your children and your wife, and then he comes and kills you. Yeah. And before that happens, you have to fight this man to the death.

Absolutely. Well, I actually... It's a YouTube whole. I sometimes fall down. It's very intriguing, but you can watch like soldiers who... It's like, talk about their first time like killing a man. You know, because that's like a time when killing is required of you and you're not necessarily a killer, but watching these people tell the story.

But the scenario might not even be like one that you might necessarily want to even kill somebody. Yeah, it's just crazy. They're super powerful to watch. It's just like, whoa, man, it's really fucked up. Yeah, that would suck. It would truly suck to have to just kill somebody on the other team. Yeah.

I don't... I feel like the household one is good, but also like if you have an opportunity, if someone's like driving through a crowd and you have the chance to fucking shoot them in the face, I like that one. That's my favorite. Because then you're saving many lives. No, I see. I like that.

I think my favorite is that there's like a gunman of sorts and I'm in my car and I can just kind of turn and run them over. Then I think I'm feeling okay. Okay, yeah, that works too. I think I could do vehicular manslaughter. I don't know if I want to do the hand-to-hand combat stuff. I feel like those moments would haunt me, right? Because you really got to get amped up.

Yeah, you got it. If there's like a windshield between you, you're like... Yeah. Right. I was thinking about Saving Private Ryan, where a dude is on top of him and slowly puts the knife into his chest. Yeah, it was a great moment. Sandy Hook, I think.

That was the elementary school, right? The super sad one. The school shooting. They were all sad just for the record. Yeah, they're all sad, but I was specifically super little kids. It was horrific. Yeah. My girlfriend at the time caught me.

I was in the bathroom and I just got out of the shower and I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I'm like getting... And I'm thinking about it. And then I like played the scenario out of my head as if... You're a teacher or something? Yeah, as a teacher and he comes around the corner and I got him in a chokehold and I'm like... And I'm playing this out in front of the mirror

and she walks in on me choking out an air, like the air. Right. And she's like, what the fuck are you doing? And I'm like, Sandy Hook, I'm killing the guy. Right. We need more. We need more you. Yeah, man.

And then she was like, okay. She got it. Yeah. I think she knew me well enough. That was like, yeah, all that checks out. You're just choking out this air terrorist school. Yeah. Did they ever catch this Sandy Hook?

They caught the guy. Yeah. Did he kill himself? I don't know shit about anything. I thought it was a little... I thought they caught him. Well, no, remember because one of the conspiracies is that people claim it wasn't real.

It was like all the actors. Yeah, well fuck those guys. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Jesus Christ. Could you imagine being one of those parents and they're like, it wasn't real. And you're like...

Yeah, what the fuck? I think they had to sue Homeboy. Yeah, Alex Jones. Yeah. And he had to pay like tons of money. The only other way that I'd feel comfortable murdering someone is if my child was murdered during Sandy Hook and then someone said

it was a conspiracy theory. Then I would just be like... Then you would go for it. Then I'm like, man, I get to murder that guy now too. If I see him. Would you say I got a theory? Fuck him up. And gun, knife, nunchucks.

Yeah, nunchucks. Bare hands. Nunchucks would be a pretty sick ass way to go about it. Size. I don't even know if I could kill anyone with a nunchuck. That'd be a really hard... Probably kill yourself on accident. Yeah.

Wow. Can you imagine trying to do that? Dude, I... And just fucking nunchucking your own at base. You ever nunchucked? It's the hardest thing in the world. You hit yourself so often. Right.

I was learning it when Kyle and I were going to do this movie Sex Castle. It's based off of a comic book. And we were going down the path. Like we had the script and everything. And I started to do fight training. And I was doing nunchuck training. And it was hard as fuck.

Yeah. Did you start with the plastic ones with the pads on them? Yeah, the little... I feel like after watching Ninja Turtles a few times where they had the nunchuck battle... Yeah, fellow chucker. You could do that, man. You could do it slow and then just build up speed.

Tell you who's okay at nunchucks is Rebel. Rebel has the basic skills down. Rebel Wilson. Rebel Wilson. Yeah. Yeah, that was her calling card when she got to the states. That's right, remember? She could nunchuck.

When we cast her, they were specifically like, she wants to nunchuck in the scene. And we're like, yeah, she's a juggalo for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Done. She was in the episode of War Collox where we go to the juggalo, Dark Carnival of the Souls. And she played the character, I believe,

Big Money Hustler was her name. Wow. Nice pull. Yeah. I think so. And, yeah, and then she wanted to nunchuck and we were like, yeah, juggalos, I'm sure, nunchuck also. Yeah, they nunchuck the fuck out of shit.

One more name pull from that episode. Absolutely. The big guy who was beating up Blake or whatever. Dr. Nedin? His name was Dr. Nedin, which made me laugh so hard because Nedin just means pussy. To juggalos. It's like a specific...

In juggalo, in juggalo speak. So his name was Dr. Pussy. Hey, if you know, you know. God, I feel like now juggalos have been so, like, you know, interviewed and there's so much footage of them and all that. But I definitely saw a new interview where a guy was talking to them and he said something about, yeah, War Collox called those walking, talking diarrhea people.

He said fuck us, right? Well, also so funny. Yeah, very funny. It's cool that we broke through their ranks. Yeah, I think we pissed a couple of them off. I remember like there was like... That's fine. Blaze or something.

Wanted to like beat our ass or something. Or the guys were twisted. I don't know. Guess what? It was out of love. If you kill one of us, Adam's coming for you, dude. You don't want it. And if he's not, our dads are...

Yeah, you don't want it with my boy. Hey, do we, for the live show, fight a bunch of juggalos? Yeah, it's a whole gauntlet match. We fight our dads and then the last boss is Shaggy Tudo. Shaggy Tudo. Is there any takebacks, apologies, giveaways, epic slams today? You want to take back anything about these juggalos? Look, guys, you've got a beautiful culture.

But we all know what it is. We all know what it is. It is what it is. What is it? I don't know what it is. What do you mean? Walking, talking, diary, people. We all know what it is.

And if you guys enjoy it, don't worry about us. Yeah, more power to you. If you enjoy it, more power to you and your smelly weird shit. We're just jealous. Yeah, it's family, baby. Yeah, it's family. The great Malinko. Admittedly, doing research for that episode, I now know way too many...

Well, one. One, I'm like, yes. Wait, no, two. Because then they did one on SNL where they spoofed... Homies. Homies. Well, that's a jam. But that's a fucking jam.

No, I took it back. How do they work? The maggots, how do they work song, yeah. They do a lot of really cool stuff over there in Juggalo Nation. By the way, that is the perfect example of a song where you're like, who fucking thinks Sandy Hook was fake? People who listened to that Magnets How Do They Work song and go, man, good points all around.

Yeah, wait a second. Yeah, everything is fake. I don't believe anything. I mean, that being said, they got a thing going. They shouldn't... Don't worry about us judging you. You guys, you got a family. You're doing it.

Yeah, absolutely. You call each other ninjas. We all know what that's replacing. It's weird, but you're doing it. You're doing your own thing. You're doing your very own thing. And you know, Ders wants to give you flowers. I don't.

I think you're walking, talking, diarrhea people. But Ders wants to give you flowers. How did... This is how I remember how Adam's like, I'm going to die first. Now he's like solidifying it. He's like making sure it happens. You know they're a gang, dude. They're wanted by the FBI.

Oh, they're cool. They're a family. They're cool. They know they're walking, talking, diarrhea people. It's fine. They embrace it. Do you think they run around shouting, Faye, go!

Instead of let's go. Wait, immediately I'd like that a lot more. Yeah, that would be something. I would like that a lot more. Hey, but Ders, points, brother. Yes, points! Thank you. You got him.

All right, guys. That was another episode of... This is importance. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like,

can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception.

I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal

on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen.

I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can, sign Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.